Thanksgiving “funnies”

  • Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of your pumpkin by it’s diameter?
    A: Pumpkin Pi

  • As the leftover turkey said after it was wrapped up and refrigerated, “Foiled again.”

  • Show us the man who throws Thanksgiving leftovers in the garbage and we’ll show you a man who quits cold turkey.
  • Where did the first corn come from?
    The stalk brought it.
  • How do you know you’ve eaten too much on Thanksgiving?
    You’re sweating gravy.
  • What do you call a gobbler who thinks he knows everything?
    A smirky turkey
  • The perfect turkey recipe for people who are not sure how to tell when poultry is cooked thoroughly but not dried out:10-12 lb. turkey
    1 cup melted butter
    3 cups stuffing
    2 cups uncooked popcorn
    salt/pepper to tastePreheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush turkey well with melted butter, salt and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of oven.Listen for popping sounds.When the turkey blows the oven door open and flies across the room, it’s done!

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May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey be plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
have nary a lump.

May your yams be delicious
and your pies take the prize,
and may your Thanksgiving dinner
stay off your thighs!

–Unknown

(Though this was posted in 2006, I am linking to it for Kelli’s “Giving Thanks” event this week rather than reposting it.)

 

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More Thanksgiving -related content on this blog:

Thanksgiving Bible Study

Thanksgiving devotionals and readings are here.

Some Thanksgiving quotes are here.

More Thanksgiving quotes are here.

A “Redneck Thanksgiving” is here.

Thanksgiving poems are here and More Thanksgiving Poems are here.

Saturday’s Photo Scavenger Hunt: Plush

PSHunt
Grab the Scavenger Hunt code.Photo Theme. Join the blogroll. Visit participants.

 

When I first saw that today’s theme was “plush,” all I could think of was stuffed animals:

Then I looked up the definition of “plush” at dictionary.com and found these definitons: “a fabric, as of silk, cotton, or wool, whose pile is more than 1/8 inch (0.3 cm) high; expensively or showily luxurious; abundantly rich; lush; luxuriant.”

The last two definitions made me think of

Biltmore House

The Biltmore House in Asheville, NC. Beautiful! And luxurious! My middle son’s Junior-Senior banquet was held here (they don’t usually get this plushy, but I was glad they did so for one year.) They even had a plush ride:

Limo

What’s the Shape of Your Faith: Spiritual Gifts

In the continuing series “What’s the Shape of Your Faith,” Heather asks us this week about spiritual gifts. For those who might be unfamiliar with this term, the Bible teaches that God gives gifts in the form of abilities to His followers through which He works in and through the lives of believers. I Corinthians 12 is one of the main passages that teaches about spiritual gifts, though there are others which touch on it. The definitions for some of the individual ones will be discussed later.

Thankfully this is a topic I have thought through carefully at several points in the past. One church we were members of in another state did a very thorough study over several weeks on this topic. A few years ago at our church here we had a ladies’ Bible study using a book which was one of the best I’ve seen on the topic. Unfortunately I can’t remember the name and I am not sure where the book is. I had thought it was from Regular Baptist Press, but I searched and did not see it there. I will see if I can find it later because I would love to share the title with you.

There are things I learned in the wake of those two studies that I would like to share here before I get into my own spiritual gift survey.

First of all, while taking surveys like this can be helpful, there can be variance from each of them because of the way the questions were asked. I would not use any of them as a hard-and-fast diagnosis, but rather a guideline.

Secondly, one danger in a study like this is the possible “That’s not my job” mentality that may arise. There are certain things we are all supposed to do — give, help people, witness, etc. — but some people are especially gifted at it. Sometimes, I can testify, God puts us in situations we’re not gifted to handle — I think in order to cause us to see the need to depend on Him, and so the results will be attributed to Him and not our giftedness. So, while a study like this can be help us to know what types of ministry we might best participate in, ultimately we need to do whatever we feel the Lord is requiring of us every day, seeking His will and strength and grace and power to do it.

One thing to remember is that our gifts are not…foolproof, for want of a better word. There is Scriptural instruction for how we are to exercise those gifts — we don’t receive them fully developed usually. We still have a sin nature we need to battle against every day, and that will sometimes affect our gifts and how we exercise them. And, as we mature, our spiritual gifts should also mature. Why am I even bringing this up? Well, I have sat under those who have felt they had the gift of teaching who I really doubted had that gift. I have seen some who said they have the gift of discernment make errors in discernment. That doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t have that gift, but for some reason their correct use of it was skewered. That is one reason there is Bible instruction on how to exercise our gifts

Another danger is that of tending to trust in our gift rather than in Him. This goes along with the preceding point.

A spiritual gift is also not an excuse for negative personality traits. In the former church I mentioned, there was an older man who could sometimes be a cantankerous and get all in a huff over something and “let loose” about it. The questions in that particular study seemed to indicate that the gift of a “prophet” would have that type of personality, so he felt fully justified, even exultant, that that was his gift. Well, first of all, I would disagree that a prophet is like that (the Biblical prophets all had different personalities. One pastor pointed out that many of them ministered at the same time and area, and one reason God raised up different prophets in the same time and place was so that the different personalities and approaches might reach different people), but secondly, as we grow in grace our spiritual gifts will become more refined and Christlike.

One positive thing to remember is that God gives to the body of Christ different people with different gifts to work together to accomplish His will, and they will tend to balance out each other. For instance, a church whose members all have the gifts of mercy and giving, but no one with discernment or administration, will probably run into trouble. So when we get frustrated in committee meetings or business meetings because other people don’t see things the way we do, that may be one reason. But the Lord will guide to the correct course of action.

One last thought: many of the test questions used words like “enjoy” or “take joy in” or the word “easily.” While what we enjoy doing or what comes easily to us may be a sign of a spiritual gift, I think of Moses and all the good reasons he gave God as to why he wasn’t gifted to go before Pharoah and lead the children of Israel out of Egypt. Yet God told him to go and promised to give him what he needed to do the job. I don’t think there is much record that he enjoyed the process. Paul told the Corinthians that he had been with them “in weakness, and in fear, and in much trembling.” He goes on to say, “And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man’s wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power.” That’s what a spiritual gift is!

OK, now that this post is already too long 🙂 I’ll get to the results of my surveys. 🙂

In the first Spiritual Gifts Discovery Survey that Heather referred us to, my highest results were Faith (20),Teaching (19), Administration/Ruling (15), Discernment and Giving (14), Exhortation and Wisdom (13).

In the second Spiritual Gift Inventory she mentioned, my highest scores were Knowledge (16), Teaching (15), and Administration, Exhortation, Giving, and Wisdom all tying at 14.

In the previous book study I mentioned, I scored higher in Discernment. That may be because the second survey above seemed to define discernment as knowing when demonic activity is present, whereas the previous study I did defined it more as discerning between what teaching is Biblical and what is not. Other studies might put that in the category of wisdom or knowledge. (That’s why I say no one study is foolproof. 🙂 )

In both, Helps and Mercy hover around the middle of the scale, with evangelism low.

That has pretty well been the way it has played out in the other tests I have taken, with maybe a little different order, but those same ones are the ones that keep popping up.

Here are the definitions from the first survey for the ones I scored highest in:

Faith: “It is the special gift whereby the Spirit provides Christians with extraordinary confidence in God’s promises, power, and presence so that they can take heroic stands for their future of God’s work in the church. See Hebrews 11.”

Teacher: “It is the special gift whereby the Spirit enables particular Christians to communicate the truths of God’s Word so that others can learn. See Hebrews 5:12-14.”

Administration: “It is the special gift whereby the Spirit enables certain Christians to understand the goals of a given segment of the Church’s ministry and to direct that area effectively, keeping the Church on course. See Acts 15:12-21.”

Giving: “It is the special gift whereby the Spirit enables certain Christians to offer their material blessings for the work of the church with exceptional willingness, cheerfulness and liberality. See 2 Corinthians 8:1-5.”

From the second site’s definitions:

Knowledge: “The special ability that God gives to certain members of the Body of Christ to discover, accumulate, analyze, and clarify information and ideas which are pertinent to the well-being of the Body.”
This gift is a practical gift. Those with the gift of knowledge are at home in a book or studying. Those with this gift will often spend countless hours researching information. These people are interested in ideas and problem solving through gathering information and studying. Often, those with this gift have a low need for people. On rare occasions, people with this gift will gather vast amounts of information through studying and analyzing personal experience, but the primary method of learning with this gift is reading and studying books and other written materials. Scriptures: Luke 1:1-4; Acts 5:1-11; 1 Corinthians 2:14; 12:8; 2 Corinthians 11:6; Colossians 1:10; 2:2-3; 1 Timothy 2:15.

Teaching: “The special ability that God gives to certain members of the Body of Christ to communicate information relevant to the health and ministry of the Body and its members in such a way that others will learn.”
This gift is a communication gift. People with the gift of teaching enjoy studying the Bible and related materials in order to communicate what they have learned to other Christians. Those with this gift find it easy to organize vast amounts of information in such a way as to make it easy to communicate, understand, and remember. Scriptures: Matthew 7:28-29; 28:19-20; Acts 15:32; Romans 12:6; 1 Corinthians 12:10, 28; Ephesians 4:11-14.
Note: Exhortation, Prophecy, and Teaching are considered the communication gifts. The distinctions for each gift are often confused. Often, gifted communicators have a mix of these gifts. Exhortation focuses on personal and practical application of the message or truth being communicated. Prophecy focuses on the urgency and impact of the message or truth being communicated. Teaching focuses on bringing thorough or adequate understanding of the message or truth being communicated.

I think the latter two definitions hit the nail on the head for me. I love studying and researching the Bible. I used to be confused by my scores on “Teaching,” though, because, though I majored in education, I came to feel that teaching was not what I wanted to do. Now, with some physical problems, while it wouldn’t be impossible, the standing in front of a classroom type of teaching is still not what I feel called to. However, one of the previous spiritual gift studies mentioned writing as a method of teaching, and my heart leapt at that. I don’t know how the Lord may use that just yet. He has used it in smaller ways in various opportunities He has given me to write, here, and in our ladies’ ministry newsletter, and on a subscriber list I am on for TM patients and caregivers. If that is as far as He wants it to go, that’s fine.

Discernment, in the sense of discerning whether teaching is in line with the Word of God, comes into play here. I would never profess to be perfect at it, but sometimes during ladies’ Bible studies we will gloss over something in the book, and I’ll say, “Wait a minute…is that saying what I think it is?”

This gift is one for which you have to take the test questions very cautiously. Some of them say thing like, “I can size a person up after first impressions.” There is great danger in being presumptuous with that sort of attitude.

When I first began to serve in the church, it seemed that all the opportunities that came my way involved children’s ministries. While I could do it, and even enjoy it to some extent, I really didn’t look forward to it and often dragged my feet about it. For several years my family was active in Awanas. The one thing I liked about it was that it was something we could do as a whole family, rather than all separating at the door the way some ministry opportunities are. And my husband was really good at it. 🙂 Those two things kept me in it longer than I really wanted to be. But one year the Awana secretary needed a helper. That involved the more administrative behind-the-scenes details: ordering supplies, finding out who earned what awards and laying them out to be given at the end of the night, record-keeping, etc. That changed my outlook dramatically — I felt as if I had finally found my niche. That was one of my first clues, really, about God’s gifting people for different ministries. It was like a light bulb came on. Nowadays the Lord has used that primarily in the ladies’ ministry at out church. When it first began in the format it is now, another lady headed it up. Because I was interested in it, I asked questions and offered comments and help. When her family moved away, I was asked to take over. I really feel more comfortable as a “second banana” implementing the outworking of the various things we do, arranging for speakers and activities, etc. I’m not really comfortable as a leader and don’t feel I inspire or motivate people to action (which seems to be the definition of a leader.) I don’t think I have the personality to be the out-front person. Many times I have wished the other lady would move back and we could go back to the way it was before. 🙂 But I do feel confident that this was the Lord’s will for me these last few years and have seen Him work through me in that ministry. But if He wanted to raise up another leader and put me back as assistant, I’d be more than willing. 🙂

I think maybe because of seeing the Lord’s working in many of the different situations I mentioned earlier, plus reading many missionary biographies, it doesn’t seem hard now to trust the Lord to do things. When my husband has come to me at times with concern over a job situation, there has been a rock-solid conviction that the Lord will take care of us. Oh, there has been some measure of concern as to how it will all work out. But ultimately he enables me to trust in the fact of is control, provision, guidance, and protection. This may be where the scores for the gift of “faith” have come in. I have to confess, though, that I have more trouble trusting the Lord fo smaller everyday things than for the major crises of life. Silly, isn’t it, that I can trust Him with the saving of my soul and the care of my family and then wobble over things like helping me to find a bathroom when we are traveling. 😳

I do love to give, and not just money. I love looking for just the right gift for someone. I can’t understand when people give gifts without any thought as to what the recipient might want or like. The Lord has been using this in two ways. One is our church’s missions closet which we take missionaries through when they visit our church. Just recently a missionary my husband took back there picked up a small set of tools and said, “I almost bought these, but didn’t. May I take these?” Sure! It gives me a lot of joy to be used in that way. The second area is the missionary Christmas gift collection that our ladies’ groups sponsors for our church. We do ask the missionaries for ideas, and then make up lists that our folks can sign up on for what things they would like to contribute. I can sometimes drive myself (and my husband, I’m sure!) crazy with the details of that, wanting to get just the right thing, making sure the gifts are even among family members, etc. But overall I love it.

I have to confess, though, that I don’t always give sacrificially. I do love to give, but I like to have, too. 😳 And I have to learn that running over the budget to give is not exercising that gift in the best way, but praying over it and exercising discernment in what to give and being willing to do so sacrficially is something I need more of.

Whew! Are you still reading? Pat yourself on the back for me. 🙂

I would encourage any of you who want to discern what your spiritual gifts are to try different ministries within the church and your sphere of influence. That and other people’s feedback, along with studying the Word of God, are the best ways, I think, to see where you “fit” within the body of Christ. And you do fit somewhere.

Thursday Thirteen: Thankfulness

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It is a good thing to give thanks unto the LORD
and to sing praises unto Thy name, O most High:

To shew forth thy lovingkindness in the morning,
and thy faithfulness every night (Psalm 92:1-2).

I don’t know if the Thursday Thirteen meme will be going on Thanksgiving Day, but I am not sure when I might get to the computer that day, anyway, with the holiday happenings and rare occasion to have everyone at home all at one time. So today I want to post thirteen things I am thankful for.

1. God Himself, for all that He is and all that He does, and for all that He has done for me. I could make a lengthy list just from this alone. 🙂

2. My husband of almost 27 years, his kindness and patience and care.

3. My three children with their unique personalities and all the joy the have brought to my life.

4. My father, mother, step-father, brother, sisters, and extended family.

5. My country. America is not perfect and has its problems, but it is still the best place on earth, IMHO. 🙂

6. My home. I have been discontent with this particular house, but I am grateful for having a snug place to live and realize that by some standards this would be considered luxurious.

7. Seasons. I love that I live in a place where there is a definite and beautiful change from season to season.

8. Music. I love it. It uplifts, soothes, encourages, inspires…I can’t imagine life without it.

9. My church.

10 Christian friends.

11. Food, especially the accessibility and variety we have here.

12. Computers!

13. Books. The Best of books, the Bible, foremost, but also the many books I have read along the way (and still hope to read) that have taught, entertained, inspired, encouraged….I could go on and on. 🙂

You can see what other Thursday Thirteeners are up to here.

Works-For-Me Wednesday: Christmas Tips

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It’s Christmas tip day at WFMW! I thought about rationing these out through December, but I think I’ll go ahead and list them all now:

Start early: We might fuss about how early Christmas displays are set up, but why not go ahead and get cards or items you know you’ll need early? You’ll get the best selection without the crowd.

Gift-Wrapping Center: You might prefer to either wrap as you go or wrap everything at once. Either way, assemble all the gift wrapping materials ahead of time to make it easier: paper, tissue, ribbon, bows, tags, tape, scissors, tape in a basket near a large work surface. It helps to not not have to assemble all of that every time you wrap a few presents

Christmas cards: You might want to pre-address and stamp the envelopes, then jot a note and sign a few cards at a time in the evenings or in spare moments through the day.

Bake ahead: Consider baking cookie dough or desserts or breads for parties or casseroles for quick meals ahead of time and freezing them.

Christmas ornaments: If an ornament is missing a hanger, you can use a paper clip, bread twist-tie, chenille stem, or holiday trim or ribbon instead. Or, place ornaments missing hangers or caps in a bowl as a centerpiece or mantel decoration.

Sharing Christmas cards: Often I was the only one who really read Christmas cards as I opened the mail. I began to save the ones received each day to pass around to the family after dinner.

Old Christmas cards: Use fronts of last year’s Christmas cards to make gift tags, post cards, or let children cut out the designs and glue onto poster board or construction paper to make a montage.

Safety: Keep safe during the holidays by going over these tips from the U. S. Consumer Product Safety Commission.

Don’t forget down time to just enjoy each other and the season.

You can find more Christmas-related tips at Rocks In My Dryer.

Thanksgiving Quotes

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Before you go out into the world, wash your face in the clear crystal of praise. Bury each yesterday in the fine linen and spices of thankfulness.
—Charles Spurgeon

The unthankful heart… discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!
–Henry Ward Beecher

Who does not thank for little will not thank for much. –Estonian proverb

On Thanksgiving Day we acknowledge our dependence.
–William Jennings Bryan

It is therefore recommended… to set apart Thursday the eighteenth day of December next, for solemn thanksgiving and praise, that with one heart and one voice the good people may express the grateful feelings of their hearts and consecrate themselves to the service of their divine benefactor…
—Samuel Adams

The following is from Joy and Strength, compiled by Mary Wilder Tileston

It is a good thing to give thanks unto the Lord, and to sing praises unto Thy name, O most High: to show forth Thy lovingkindness in the morning, and Thy faithfulness every night. –Psalm 92: 1-2

IF our hearts were tuned to praise, we should see causes unnumbered, which we had never seen before, for thanking God. Thanksgiving is spoken of as a “sacrifice well pleasing unto God.” It is a far higher offering than prayer. When we pray we ask for things which we want; or we tell out our sorrows. We pray, in order to bring down blessings upon ourselves; we praise, because our hearts overflow with love to God, and we must speak it out to Him. It flows out of pure love, and then the love goes back to our hearts, and warms them anew, and revives and quickens them.
–Priscilla Maurice

Learn the lesson of thanksgiving. It is due to God, it is due to ourselves. Thanksgiving for the past makes us trustful in the present and hopeful for the future. What He has done is the pledge of what He will do.
–A. C. A. Hall

(Graphic courtesy of Anne’s Place.)

More Thanksgiving -related content on this blog:

Thanksgiving Bible Study
Thanksgiving devotionals and readings are here.
More Thanksgiving quotes are here.
Thanksgiving “funnies” are here and A “Redneck Thanksgiving” is here.
Thanksgiving poems are here and More Thanksgiving Poems are here.

Motherhood advice

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Owlhaven asks, “What advice or information do you wish you had received to prepare you for motherhood? Or, on the contrary, what advice do you think women soon to become mothers should not be given?”

I wish someone had told me just to relax and enjoy it more. I never knew I was such a tense person until I became a mother (although looking back I can see that I always was). I think the weight of the responsibility, the desire to do the best for your child, and the lack of time and energy to do the things you want and need to do all can add up to a lot of tension. Oh, we did have relaxed and carefree moments, but I wish my whole demeanor had been more relxed and less tense.

I wish someone had told me not to worry about keeping up with baby books with the length and weight at differfent ages and when they lost their first tooth, etc., but had encouraged me to record funny or sweet incidents or the cute things kids say. You think you will remember those things forever, but you don’t.

I wish someone had shared with me creative ways to have devotions with children in the house. I wrote about this earlier, but you realize early on that, with the change of schedule and energy levels and number of people in the house, it’s hard to do it like you’ve always done it, and that that’s okay. But doing anything along those lines is better than nothing.

I wish someone had told me that, although we do need to read and teach our children Bible stories, verses about sin and salvation so they’ll understand and be saved at as early an age as possible, principles about godly character, etc., we need to point out the hand of God in our everyday lives in a natural (not didactic) way. When someone’s car swerves into our lane and almost hits us, we can thank the Lord for safety; when we take a walk or putter around in the yard, we can point out the beauty and intricacy of God’s creation even in the smallest things like a little flower on a weed; when we pray for any need, large or small, we can point out God’s answer. I think seeing His hand and active care in our everyday lives will do more than most anything else, except Scripture, of course, to make God real to them and portray Christianity as an active, loving relationship rather than just a set of doctrines and rules. Doctrines and rules are important, but without the reality of the relationship there, they are empty. The emphasis when my kids were young was on instilling godly character, and that is so important. But II Cor. 3:18 tells us we become more Christlike by beholding His glory.

My husband was a physics major and loves microscopes. He likes to collect old or unusual ones and buys and sells them. Once when we were homeschooling, he gave a devotional talk at our support group on verses about magnifying the Lord (Psalm 34:3: O magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together; Psalm 69:30: I will praise the name of God with a song, and will magnify him with thanksgiving; Luke 1:46: And Mary said, My soul doth magnify the Lord.) To magnify something is to make it big. It doesn’t change the size of the object magnified, but it makes it more visible so we can see it and learn of it better. So we need to magnify the Lord, not only for out children but for our own sakes, so they see Him, not just things about Him.

What advice should we not give mothers-to-be?

Probably anything unasked for. 🙂 For some reason, what one should do with one’s children is, I think, the source of most of the unsolicited advice in the world. I was overwhelmed as a young mother by that and especially by the fact that advice from equally respected sources would conflict. I eventually adopted what I called the principle of gleaning: I would listen, try to assume that the giver had the best motives at heart, and glean out what I thought would work best for me, my child, and my family, and forget the rest.

We should probably also refrain from any advice that smacks of an opinionated “This is THE only way to do it” mentality. There’s more than one way to do many things in life. When we do give advice, it’s probably better stated with a “This works for me” attitude instead.

We also need to spare them birthing horror stories. I think this is the equivalent of men’s war stories. When nothers get together and start talking about labor and delivery, the stories can quickly escaltae and have a “Can you top this?” feel. I think part of it is that we faced something difficult and painful that we were afraid of and survived it, and we relish that. But we need to be careful about scaring others to death and rather encourage them that whatever happens, God will be there and get them through it.

Although this wasn’t part of Owlhaven’s question, I wanted to share some advice that was a big help to me.

A lady who had taken our instructor’s childbirth class came to our class to share her experience. One thing she said that stuck with me was that if you are in labor and start thinking, “How long is this going to go on? What if I have to do this for 30 hours or more?” you can get easily tired and defeated. But if instead you think, “I only have to get through this contraction right now,” it is easier. And that has been a metaphor for me in other areas of life: I don’t have to be concerned with how long a trial will last and whether I’ll have strength or what will happen tomorrow: I just concentrate on His grace to get through this day, this moment.

Lastly, though there is a sense in which we should trust our own instincts, they are not foolproof. What I would say rather is that, once you have prayed over an issue or prayed for wisdom in raising your children, then just trust that it will be there. God wants you to succeed at parenting even more than you do! He wants to help you and wants you to rest in Him.

(Graphic courtesy of Grandma’s Graphics.)

Thanksgiving Reading

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I thought that this week before Thanksgiving would be a good time to share several Thanksgiving- related items in my files. Next week a lot of people will likely be busy with preparing for the holiday or traveling, so I wanted to go ahead over several days this week and share some things with you.

If you are interested in Thanksgiving devotionals, poems, clip art, etc., here are some great sites:

Elisabeth Elliot has Thanksgiving For What Is Given in her Nov./Dec. 1985 newsletter, A New Thanksgiving in the Nov./Dec. 1987 one, An Overflowing Cup in the Nov./Dec. 1991 one, and To Offer Thanks Is To Learn Contentment in the Nov./Dec. 1995 one, A Dog’s Thanksgiving in the Nov./Dec. 1998 one. (Update 11/5/2020: The Elisabeth Elliot.org site has undergone a complete overhaul. These no longer link directly to the newsletter, but the newsletter can be downloaded from the site).

Annie’s Pages have tons of idea. The Make This a Different Thanksgiving page has some great suggestions near the bottom of the page.

More Thanksgiving -related content on this blog:

Thanksgiving Bible Study
Some Thanksgiving quotes are here.
More Thanksgiving quotes are here.
Abraham Lincoln’s Thanksgiving Proclamation is here.
Thanksgiving “funnies” are here and A “Redneck Thanksgiving” is here.
Thanksgiving poems are here and More Thanksgiving poems are here.

God’s Unchanging Word

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God’s Unchanging Word

For feelings come and feelings go,
And feelings are deceiving;
My warrant is the Word of God,
Naught else is worth believing.

Though all my heart should feel condemned
For want of some sweet token,
There is one greater than my heart
Whose word cannot be broken.

I’ll trust in God’s unchanging word
Til soul and body sever;
For, though all things shall pass away,
His word shall stand forever.

— Martin Luther

Veterans Day

The following has been attributed to Reverend Denis Edward O’Brian, but he says the author is unknown. I originally received it via the Good Clean Fun mailing list of Tom Ellsworth.

WHAT IS A VETERAN?

Some veterans bear visible signs of their service: a missing limb, a jagged scar, a certain look in the eye. Others may carry the evidence inside them, a pin holding a bone together, a piece of shrapnel in the leg – or perhaps another sort of inner steel: the soul’s ally forged in the refinery of adversity.

Except in parades, however, the men and women who have kept America safe wear no badge or emblem. You can’t tell a vet just by looking. What is a vet?

A vet is the cop on the beat who spent six months in Saudi Arabia sweating two gallons a day making sure the armored personnel carriers didn’t run out of fuel.

A vet is the barroom loudmouth, dumber than five wooden planks, whose overgrown frat-boy behavior is overshadowed by four hours of exquisite bravery near the 38th Parallel.

A vet is the nurse who fought against futility and went to sleep sobbing every night for two solid years in Da Nang.

A vet is the POW who went away one person and came back another – or didn’t come back at all.

A vet is the drill instructor who has never seen combat – but has saved countless lives by turning slouchy, no-account punks and gang members into marines, airmen, sailors, soldiers and coast guardsmen, and teaching them to watch each other’s backs.

A vet is the parade-riding Legionnaire who pins on his ribbons and medals with a prosthetic hand.

A vet is the career quartermaster who watches the ribbons and medals pass him by.

A vet is the three anonymous heroes in The Tomb Of The Unknowns, whose presence at the Arlington National Cemetery must forever preserve the memory of all the anonymous heroes whose valor dies unrecognized with them on the battlefield or in the ocean’s sunless deep.

A vet is the old guy bagging groceries at the supermarket – palsied now and aggravatingly slow – who helped liberate a Nazi death camp and who wishes all day long that his wife were still alive to hold him when the nightmares come.

A vet is an ordinary and yet extraordinary human being, a person who offered some of his life’s most vital years in the service of his country, and who sacrificed his ambitions so others would not have to sacrifice theirs.

A vet is a soldier and a savior and a sword against the darkness, and he is nothing more that the finest, greatest testimony on behalf of the finest, greatest nation ever known.

So remember, each time you see someone who has served our country, just lean over and say, “Thank You.” That’s all most people need, and in most cases it will mean more than any medals they could have been awarded or were awarded.

Those two little words mean a lot … “THANK YOU”.

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The following Veteran’s Day speech from (then) Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld was delivered in 2001 and can be heard here.

Eighty-three (88 now) years ago, an armistice was signed between the Allies and the Central Powers. As the guns of both the victors and the vanquished fell silent, World War I — “The War to End All Wars” — slipped into history.

For the next twenty years, “Armistice Day” was celebrated with parades and speeches, simple ceremonies and sacred observances. For many years, buglers played “Taps” at 11 o’clock at the main intersections of towns across America or the village greens — I was one of them. And for two minutes, all the traffic and daily transactions ceased as citizens stopped to honor those who had fallen in the defense of liberty.

Today, we celebrate “Veterans Day,” but while the name has changed, its meaning and purpose remain the same. It is a day to honor and to remember those who died and those we are blessed to still have with us.

Their collective experience — from the gas-filled trenches of World War I to the deserts of the Persian Gulf — covers much of the turmoil and change of the 20th century. Their stories are the story of our history, for America rose to greatness on their shoulders.

But Veterans Day is also a day to honor and to recognize not just the Greatest Generation, but the latest generation — those who today wear the uniform and bear the responsibility for defending freedom and protecting our American way of life. And while this is true even when the country is at peace, it is particularly so when America is — as it is now — at war.

Like the thousands of soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines who went before, you have dedicated yourselves to the strength and survival of our nation, and willingly placed yourselves in danger to secure peace and freedom. In so doing, you have assumed the highest responsibility of citizenship, and your country is grateful. Never forget that you serve in the finest military in the greatest nation on Earth, a military and a nation dedicated not to oppression, but to freedom.

Today we celebrate and salute the men and women who have served so gallantly over the decades to keep us free. We offer them our love, our thanks and our promise that we will never forget their valor or their sacrifice.

We offer the same to you, as you voluntarily put your lives atrisk so that we may all live in freedom.

God bless you and God bless America.

Donald H. Rumsfeld

♥ Thank you, veterans!!!♥