Author Archives: Barbara Harper

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About Barbara Harper

https://barbarah.wordpress.com

Friday’s Fave Five

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Welcome to Friday’s Fave Five, hosted by Susanne at Living to Tell the Story, in which we can share our favorite things from the last week. This has been a wonderful exercise in looking for and appreciating the good things God blesses us with. Click on the button to learn more, then go to Susanne’s to read others’ faves and link up your own.

1. The ladies’ Christmas party at church. Well, actually, at someone’s home, and we got lost on some scary, dark roads (GPS wasn’t recognizing the address), but we eventually got there. Mittu went with me. I’ve been missing the ladies’ group from my old church and the Christmas party there was one of my favorite times of year. This was different, of course, but very good and a lot of fun.  And I won one of the door prizes — Lindt truffles! The testimony the speaker shared was a tremendous blessing.

2. Snow day!

We had snow Sunday night and Monday. I worked on Christmas cards and our Christmas letter and Mittu made treats:

The rest of the week we had ice — not so much fun, though Jesse enjoyed being off school for a couple more days.

3. Good shopping experiences. So far both customers and sales clerks have been pretty in good spirits, and lines have been longer than usual but not too very long. In only one store were my nerves getting frayed because the store had carts but did not allow room to get them around the aisles very well — so I left that store after just a short while. I think I am mostly done shopping — I need to sit down and take stock, but I think, except for 2-3 things,  all I have left is little stocking stuffers.

4. Christmas decorations. We finally got our tree and decorations up last weekend. When I wrote a couple of years ago about our “misfit” ornaments that we still like to use, I mentioned that my kids like to do odd things with some of the ornaments. This year my husband tucked a couple in unusual places, and it was fun to discover them throughout the day. One was this sleigh on top of the log cabin:

And the other was this snowman visiting the family figurines (which my oldest keeps threatening to draw happy faces on):

5. Jason’s surprise package. We got a package in the mail addressed to Jason, but he hadn’t ordered anything that he remembered. So, thinking maybe it was something Jim ordered, I put it away until he got home. I took him into our room and asked him about it. He started to open it, and it looked like…a computer. We called Jason in and asked, “Did you order a computer????” We didn’t think so because we had just taken his Mac with a broken screen in to be fixed earlier in the week. As it turned out, he had caught an announcement about a giveaway for Google Chrome — and he had won! They hadn’t sent him any kind of notification — just the computer. He was thrilled! They’ve had such a hard year, it was neat to see the Lord bless them that way.

Since last week I’ve observed the anniversary of the passing of both my parents, which is a mixture of sadness and nostalgia, but the Lord blessed with an otherwise very good week.

Have a great weekend!

Flashback Friday: Christmas presents

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Mocha With Linda hosts a weekly meme called Flashback Friday. She’ll post a question every Thursday, and then Friday we can link our answers up on her site. You can visit her site for more Flashbacks.

I think I am going to answer today’s prompt in list form again.

When did you open Christmas presents when you were growing up? Christmas Eve or Christmas Day?

We were allowed to open one present of our choosing Christmas Eve, and the rest Christmas Day.

If you traveled, did your parents take the gifts, or did you open them early or late?

I honestly don’t remember. I’m guessing we probably opened them before or after and maybe took just a few with us, but I am not sure.

Did your parents have Santa leave presents? Were they wrapped or unwrapped?

Yes: they were assembled and unwrapped under the tree Christmas morning, so they were the first things we saw.

Did you have stockings? What was generally in those?

Yes. I remember there was always an orange in the toe of the stocking and I remember more fruit and nuts in stockings as well. There must’ve been little toys or candy as well, but I can’t remember for sure.

Were gifts simple and practical or more extravagant?

Gifts were fairly simple when I was young and got more extravagant as the kids grew and started leaving home and the money situation loosened up a bit.

Did you give presents to your parents and siblings? Were they homemade or purchased? If purchased, did you pay with your own money or did your parents pay?

I don’t remember giving gifts to parents much unless we made some in school or Sunday School. I don’t think I started giving gifts on my own until I was a teen-ager. There was a mix of hand-made or purchased. I used my own money.

What are memories of special gifts you received?

I should remember…but the only specific gifts I can remember getting were Barbies and paint-by-number sets, which was fine because I liked both  then.

Oh — and one year when fishnet stockings were “in,” the package I chose to open Christmas Eve was some of those stockings from an aunt and uncle who had daughters my age. My dad didn’t like them and was upset, kind of putting a damper on the evening. Now as an adult I can see why — those things look like…the kind of attire I don’t want to be seen in!

Did you ever peek and find out what your gifts were ahead of time?

Once while my brother and I were playing near the tree I noticed I could sort of see through the light-colored wrapping paper, so later when no one was around I looked a little more closely and made out what my presents were. I was delighted — until Christmas morning when most of the surprise was gone. I learned my lesson!

Did presents gradually appear under the tree in the days leading up to Christmas and were you allowed to touch/shake them?

Yes, they did appear gradually. I think we were allowed to pick them up and even shake them as long as we didn’t get too wild about it.

Since I’ve been married, we haven’t continued the opening of one present on Christmas Eve — I am not sure why. We started visiting my family in TX or my husband’s in ID the first few Christmases, but the weather was always unpredictable, particularly going to ID, and eventually we wanted to “do Christmas” our own way, including and emphasizing the Nativity story, which neither of our families did. So we started staying home at Christmas and doing our traveling over summers most of the time. We chose not to incorporate Santa into our children’s Christmas — I just felt like it was dishonest, for one thing, and why give him credit for gifts that I wanted my children to know came from us because we loved them? But we did watch Rudolph on TV and referred to Santa as any other imaginary storybook character. Typically we do not go anywhere on Christmas Day — maybe partly because we haven’t lived near family for most of our married lives, but also because we felt it wasn’t quite fair to the kids to get all sorts of new stuff and then make them leave it behind while we visited elsewhere. Plus, it’s usually so hectic in the weeks leading to Christmas, between mailing cards and shopping and going to programs and recitals and all, that it was nice just to close the doors and relax and make it a family day. We do have stockings and fill them with candy and little things (easier to do when they were younger!) We’ve encouraged our kids to give as well, supplementing their allowances (kind of like a Christmas bonus 🙂 ) and taking them shopping for other members of the family until they got old enough to handle it on their own. Something we’ve done some years is to choose some special ministry or some special need someone we knew had and give to that at Christmas time.

One special and extravagant gift my kids received was during the time they were very much into “Little People” — the old fashioned small ones. I had suggested to my mom that perhaps one of the “sets” — there was a “main street,” a farm, a garage, and I can’t remember what all else — might make a good group gift for them. Instead she sent them one set each, and bought a bunch of extra Little People which my sister wrapped individually! My husband said we almost needed an extra room just for the Little People. But they played with those quite a lot, and they’re in a box in the attic now, toys that I could not bring myself to get rid of.

Thanks for spurring the trip down Christmas memory lane, Linda!

Christmas Grief

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December could be a rather gloomy month for my family. My mother passed away Dec. 10 five years ago, my father Dec. 12 a few years earlier, and my grandmother Christmas Eve a few years prior to that, leading my brother to exclaim once that he just wanted to cancel the whole month.

The death of a loved any any time of year can shadow the whole Christmas season as we miss our normal interactions with that loved one, and several years later, though maybe the pangs aren’t quite as sharp, they’re still there, and it’s not abnormal to be caught off guard by a memory or a longing leading to a good crying jag.

When someone is grieving over the holidays, they may not want to participate in some of the “normal” happy pastimes. It’s not that they don’t ever laugh or enjoy gatherings. But as Sherry said yesterday, “I am enjoying the traditional holiday celebrations, and at the same time they move me to tears, sad tears for things that have been lost this year. I am singing the music, and yet I’m tired of the froth of jingling bells and pa-rumpumpum.” I remember almost wishing that we still observed periods of mourning with wearing black or some sign of “Grief in progress” — not to rain on anyone else’s good time, but just to let people know there was woundedness under the surface, and just as physical wounds need tenderness while healing, so do emotional ones. Normally I love baby and bridal showers and make it a point to attend, but for several months after my mom’s death I did not want to go to them. I rejoiced with those who rejoiced…but just did not want to rejoice in quite that way. I first heard the news of my mom’s death during our adult Sunday School Christmas party, and the next year I just did not want to attend. Even this year, when our ladies’ Christmas party was on the anniversary of my mom’s death, I was concerned that at some point during the evening I would have to find the restroom and lock myself in to release some tears (though thankfully that did not happen).

Other events can cast a pall over Christmas: illness, job loss, a family estrangement, etc. One Christmas we were all sick as dogs, and my father-in-law had just had a major health crisis and wanted us to come up from SC to ID to visit. There was just no way we could drag ourselves onto a plane until antibiotics had kicked in a few days later, but we did go, and if I remember correctly, that was the last time any of us except my husband saw him alive, so in retrospect we were glad we went, though it wasn’t the merriest of Christmases. A good friend grieved over “ruining” her family’s Christmas by being in the hospital with a severe kidney infection. Lizzie wrote about visiting her husband in prison for Christmas. Quilly commented yesterday about being homeless one Christmas. Yet both Lizzie and Quilly mentioned reasons for rejoicing in the midst of those circumstances.

If you’re grieving this Christmas, don’t feel guilty if you’re not quite into the “froth” this year.  One quote I shared on a Week In Words post earlier had to do with giving yourself time to heal. On the other hand, there may be times to go through with the holiday festivities for family’s sake — and, truly, those times can help keep you from the doldrums. Sherry shared how making a list of reasons to celebrate Christmas helped. Look for the good things to rejoice in. E-mom left a valuable comment yesterday that we can treasure up the memories of good Christmases to tide us over the not so good ones, and then look forward to better things ahead. And as I said yesterday, remember that the first Christmas was not all about the froth, either, but was messy, lonely, and painful, yet out of it was born the Savior of the world and the hope of mankind. Rejoice in that hope and promise. Draw near to Him who has borne our griefs and carries our sorrows until grief and sorrow are done away forever.

A Perfect Christmas

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(Photo courtesy of the stock.xchng.)

Most of us have a vision in our minds of the perfect Christmas: family gathered around, a clean and sparkling house, a beautifully adorned Christmas tree with piles of lovingly chosen presents underneath, a feast for the eyes and the table, scents of roasting turkey or ham, pumpkin pies, apple cider, everyone marvelously getting along like the end of a made-for-TV movie.

But what if that’s not reality this year?

What if one member is in prison? Or overseas or across the country? Or in heaven?

What if a lost job or a major medical expense has led to a depleted bank account and bare cupboards?

Is Christmas then ruined?

Let’s go back to that first Christmas.

Mary and Joseph were alone and away from home and family in a strange city. They did not have a beautifully decorated house: they did not even have a hotel room. The only place someone had available for them was a stable. The only scents of the season were those of animals in a barn. Mary, as a young, first-time mother, did not have the blessing of a modern hospital and sanitary conditions, a skilled nursing staff and childbirth training. Giving birth was painful and messy. Joseph would have been out of his element helping a woman deliver a baby, and perhaps he was dismayed or frustrated that he could not provide better for her in general, but especially in her moment of need. And after the blessed relief of a healthy child safely born, there was little acknowledgment of who this Child was besides the shepherds, Simeon and Anna, and, later on, the wise men. Soon they would face the danger of a king bent on killing the Child in their care and the loss of reputation Mary would endure her whole life as many thought her Child was illegitimate, and soon the ominous promise that a sword would pierce through Mary’s own soul.

What did they have then, that lonely, uncomfortable, smelly night? They had the Child of promise. A Child whom they were told to name Jesus, which means “Jehovah saves,” whose very name is a promise, who would reconcile them to God by taking care of their greatest need, who would “save His people from their sins.” They had the realization that, as the angel told Mary when first delivering the news that she would bear a child though she was a virgin, this Child was the long-awaited and longed-for Messiah, the King, the Son of the Highest. What cause for joy and wonder! They had no idea how it would all work out. But they had the promise, and because of the promise, they had hope.

It’s certainly not wrong to enjoy a decorated tree, presents, wonderful food, and family gathered. But we can celebrate Christmas even all of those elements are missing or less than ideal…because we can celebrate in our own hearts and with those around us that same promise, that same hope. If that’s all we have this Christmas…that’s more than enough.

(Sharing at Inspire me Monday)

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The Week In Words

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Welcome to The Week In Words, where we share quotes from the last week’s reading. If something you read this past week  inspired you, caused you to laugh, cry, think, dream, or just resonated with you in some way, please share it with us, attributing it to its source, which can be a book, newspaper, blog, Facebook — anything that you read. More information is here.

Here are a few that spoke to me this week:

From In the Company of Others by Jan Karon in a section quoting an old journal (p. 338):

“God save us from Squabble and ill temper which spread in a household like Measles.”

They do, don’t they? Amen.

Seen at Challies:

Glory follows afflictions, not as the day follows the night but as the spring follows the winter; for the winter prepares the earth for the spring, so do afflictions sanctified prepare the soul for glory. —Richard Sibbes

Winter is not my favorite season, but it helps to remember it prepares the earth for spring — and our spiritual winters do as well.

From Warren Wiersbe’s With the Word, commenting on the section in II Samuel 8 about David wanting to build the temple, God saying no, and David then helping Solomon gather the materials to build it:

If God gives your dream to somebody else, help him or her to fulfill it.

It would be easy to feel disappointed or bitter, but how much better to trust in the Lord’s will and enable others to do their part, even if it is the part we dearly wanted. That would please the Lord more than sulking and be a better testimony to others.

From F. W. Meyer’s Our Daily Walk for December 9:

Make as pure in heart, not only in our walk, but in our inward temper, that we may never lose sight of God by reason of the obscurity of our own nature.

Amen. My own nature is what most often obscures my view of God. May I be pure inside and out.

I’ve been marking several quotes from 50 People Every Christian Should Know: Learning From Spiritual Giants of the Faith by Warren Wiersbe, but I think I will save most of them until I finish and review the book. But I did want to share this one:

All God’s giants have been weak men, who did great things for God because they reckoned on His being with them. ~ Hudson Taylor

So very true.

If you’ve read anything that particularly spoke to you that you’d like to share, please either list it in the comments below or write a post on your blog and then put the link to that post (not your general blog link) in Mr. Linky below. I do ask that only family-friendly quotes be included. I hope you’ll visit some of the other participants as well and glean some great thoughts to ponder.

And please — feel free to comment even if you don’t have quotes to share!

Christmas Tour of Homes

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The Nester is sponsoring a Christmas Tour of Homes as is Kelly’s Korner.  It was originally started by BooMama, and I participated several years ago, but hadn’t since then since everything was the same. But since we’re in a new house, things look a bit different!

The newest decoration is this wreath just outside the front door, inspired by one designed by Charlotte Lyons in Amy Powers’ Inspired Ideas Christmas magazine (p. 26).

Just inside the front door is our Nativity scene.

Our Christmas tree is in the family room:

We have fewer flat surfaces — got rid of some little tables and a desk is in another room with routers and such on top, so I wasn’t sure how I was going to arrange some items. I decided to put most of my snowmen on the mantle:

The little log cabin was made by my husband’s father. I’ve been needing to redo the furry stuff at the top of Jim’s and my stockings!

The piano is also in the family room:

I made the calligraphy in a little class years ago — and have done nothing with calligraphy since then! The little Nativity figurine to the right and the little oval church plaque on the left are special because they were gifts from my mom, who passed away five years ago this month. The church windows light up and blink and a song plays when you press a button on the back.

This is in the dining area across from the table:

The candles are bent because they’re pretty old. We burned them until they almost reached the decorations on them, and wanted to keep them, so we put them in every year but don’t light them.

This is my desk:

I am excited to have a little mini tree there with pink decorations…

..as well as this ornament as a decoration since it’s a bit too heavy for the tree, and it reminds me of my three boys. 🙂

I’ve posted before about favorite ornaments, blue ornaments, and, in one of my favorite posts, misfit ornaments — those that are broken or weird but that we love to keep putting up anyway.

Have a bit of Harvest Loaf Cake, one of our favorite Christmas treats, before you go!

Harvest Loaf cake

Thanks so much for stopping by!

Thou Who Wast Rich Beyond All Splendour

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I’ve only heard this hymn on the radio, and I’ve always loved the music but only caught a few of the words. I jotted down enough this week to look the song up and was tremendously blessed by the words. May you be as well.

Thou who wast rich beyond all splendour,
All for love’s sake becamest poor;
Thrones for a manger didst surrender,
Sapphire-paved courts for stable floor.
Thou who wast rich beyond all splendour,
All for love’s sake becamest poor.

Thou who art God beyond all praising,
All for love’s sake becamest man;
Stooping so low, but sinners raising
Heavenwards by thine eternal plan.
Thou who art God beyond all praising,
All for love’s sake becamest man.

Thou who art love beyond all telling,
Saviour and King, we worship thee.
Emmanuel, within us dwelling,
Make us what thou wouldst have us be.
Thou who art love beyond all telling,
Saviour and King, we worship thee.

~ Frank Houghton (1894-1972)

Laudable Linkage and Videos

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Just a few interesting posts rounded up this week:

Settling for a lump of coal this Christmas? Candy ponders different reasons why Christmas joy might be missing as well as sound advice for dealing with the different issues.

Why we love the church.

Catalog Living, HT to Amy. A fun site — they post pictures from catalogs and make up funny comments to go along with them.

How to tie a bow. Am I the only adult whose bows go wonky? This helped.

Super simple snowman treats.

Cheese puffs.

Jon Acuff posted this video in Why you don’t bring a camel to church and asked how people would caption it. Some of the comments there are really funny. (Thankfully no animals or people were hurt.)

Best Wheel of Fortune solve ever — with one letter:

 

Remembering Mom

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It was five years ago today that I received the dreaded phone call that my mom had passed away. I wrote more about that day and its aftermath of sorrow and answered prayer here, and a tribute to my mom here. I won’t repeat all of that this year, but I did want to share a song that has ministered to me since her death. I don’t know what all the video is about, but it is the only one I found with the song “Safely Home” by Steve Green recorded.

Miss you, Mom.

Friday’s Fave Five

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Welcome to Friday’s Fave Five, hosted by Susanne at Living to Tell the Story, in which we can share our favorite things from the last week. This has been a wonderful exercise in looking for and appreciating the good things God blesses us with. Click on the button to learn more, then go to Susanne’s to read others’ faves and link up your own.

1. A helpful clerk and discounts. I had a pretty nice shopping excursion last Friday. One place I went to was JoAnn’s Fabrics — I decided to sew one present. I know, I must be crazy to do so at this stage. But though lines were long, customers and staff were in fairly good spirits. I couldn’t decide between two fabrics, and found when I had the one cut that it was marked down several dollars — so I got both! 🙂 Then at the checkout, I didn’t have any coupons because our newspaper somehow didn’t contain their sales flyer, but the clerk tried keying the coupons and discounts in anyway — and saved me about $20.

2. Plaques for the sewing/craft room. Found these while at JoAnn’s:

3. Christmas programs at church and school. For me, those provide the times to sit down and really soak in what the season is all about. The children’s Christmas program at church was this past Sunday night, and though mine were all too old for it, I enjoyed seeing all the little ones tell the age-old story. Then the school’s Christmas program was Tuesday night, and Jesse’s choir sang. The funniest moment of the night was when, after the kindergarten class got done with their song, one let out a very loud, relieved sigh. Everyone chuckled, and at the end of the program the pastor said he felt like that sometimes when he got done preaching, and his listeners probably felt like sighing, too. 😀 And in both programs the littlest children had on the cutest costumes like footie pajamas in animals prints and accessories (ears, tale, etc.). They were so adorable!

4. Kids applying Scripture. It’s not unusual for me to bring up Scriptural principles when talking with my children, but I was blessed to hear Jesse bring up a pertinent Bible verse and apply it to a situation we were discussing and then again in a book report.

5. A new wreath. We can’t hang a wreath on our front door because it looks like this:

I know I could get one of those over-the-door hangers for one, but I just didn’t know if it would look right with the oval there, and the previous owners had installed a hook in the brick by the door which we’ve been using instead of door decorations. I had been wanting some kind of white wreath because I thought it would show up better against the brick, and I was delighted to see one designed by Charlotte Lyons in Amy Powers’ Inspired Ideas Christmas magazine (p. 26). I finally made it last night and finished it this morning, and I’m so delighted with it! Because everything is pinned in or tied on, it went fairly quickly.

I hadn’t wanted to sew and stuff the little dove, but I think I might — I think he’d show up a little better. I like the fuller, more collage-like look of hers — but I like this one, too. 🙂

Have a good weekend! We’re planning to finally get our tree tomorrow! It was raining buckets last weekend, and I haven’t looked at the forecast for tomorrow, but it’s bright out today and I hope it continues.