Finishing well

I just finished reading II Chronicles. Though it has a reputation for being pretty dry, it actually has many great truths in it. II Chronicles covers the history of the kings of Israel and Judah from the time of Solomon until the Babylonian captivity. Most of the kings were bad, in that they did not follow Jehovah God in the way He prescribed, and many followed idols and false gods instead. Most of the few who did start out well did not finish well. And though “finishing well” is not what “the” theme of the book probably is, it’s what stood out to me in this reading.

Solomon, for all his wisdom and all the blessings he experienced during his early reign, fell away when his many wives led him to other gods.

“Asa did that which was good and right in the eyes of the LORD his God” (II Chronicles 14:2), was marvelously helped in battle after prayer, took down idols, removed even his own mother from her position because of the image she made. But in later years he sought the help of a pagan king instead of God and even imprisoned the prophet who came to warn him (16:1-10). He ended up with diseased feet or which he did not seek the Lord at all.

“Joash did that which was right in the sight of the LORD all the days of Jehoiada the priest” (24:2), but after Jehoiada died, Joash fell away to the point of killing Jehoaida’s son (24:19-27).

Amaziah “did that which was right in the sight of the LORD, but not with a perfect heart” (25:2). He received great help from the Lord when he did things His way, yet instead of continuing to follow Him, he “he brought the gods of the children of Seir, and set them up to be his gods, and bowed down himself before them, and burned incense unto them.  Wherefore the anger of the LORD was kindled against Amaziah” (25:14-15).

Uzziah, “as long as he sought the LORD, God made him to prosper” (26:5), and “And God helped him against the Philistines” and other enemies, “and his name spread abroad even to the entering in of Egypt; for he strengthened himself exceedingly” (26:7-8). “And his name spread far abroad; for he was marvellously helped, till he was strong. But when he was strong, his heart was lifted up to his destruction: for he transgressed against the LORD his God, and went into the temple of the LORD to burn incense upon the altar of incense” (26:15-16). The NASB puts it this way: “But when he became strong, his heart was so proud that he acted corruptly, and he was unfaithful to the LORD his God.”

Josiah was one of Judah’s best kings, leading a revival after the book of the law was found during temple repairs, yet he went to battle and “hearkened not unto the words of Necho from the mouth of God” and ended up dying of wounds received in that battle.

Will I forget the things I knew, like Solomon did, and be led away by other loves, or will I keep my first love? Will I forget from whence my help comes, like Asa did, and look for help elsewhere? Will I fall away after my spitual mentors are gone, like Joash? Do I serve God with a perfect (complete) heart, or am I holding anything back, like Amaziah? Will I be lifted up with pride like Uzziah? Will I neglect to listen to wise counsel from God’s Word, like Josiah?

May I heed the warnings and lessons in these examples. May God save me from these and other failures and help me to keep my eyes on Him and to finish well.

Book Review: Living with Purpose in a Worn-out Body: Spiritual Encouragement for Older Adults

When I saw Mocha With Linda mention Living with Purpose in a Worn-out Body: Spiritual Encouragement for Older Adults by Missy Buchanan, I knew I had to get it for my mother-in-law and myself. Missy was a daily caregiver to her mother, who lived to be 92, and now Missy spends much time visiting with other residents in the senior residence center where her mother spent her last days. Her experiences make the  devotionals she began writing for senior adults ring with authenticity.

This book covers several areas: pain, loneliness, feeling forgotten, the treasure of friends, sleep, purpose, clutter, medicine, bingo, laughter, sensible shoes — many aspects of an older person’s life. The devotionals address these issues in a genuine way. Some are poignant, some are fun, but all bring the reader back to focus on God in every issue. Here is a sample:

Sometimes I wonder why you have left me on this earth.
Ia have outlived so many family and friends. Why do I linger?
What purpose could you have for me now?
Look at my hands. Once strong and sure, they are unsteady and frail.
My mind, once quick and incisive, now falters under the weight of names and faces.
What real purpose do I serve knitting away the hours, surfing the channels, dozing through the afternoon?
Then Your Spirit stirs my heart and convicts my soul.
You are not a wasteful God!
The length of my earthly days is a mystery to me, but one thing I know for sure. You have created me with an eternal purpose.
How can I be more like Christ today?
Whose life can I touch with kindness?
Lord, give me an extra measure of grace when I feel that I’m too old to be useful.
Help me as I take my limitations in stride as I search for opportunities to serve you.
My purpose has not withered away with another birthday.
It is rooted in eternity.

Psalm 33:11:
But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever,
the purposes of his heart through all generations.

The text in the book is large print, yet the book as a whole is slim.

I would highly, highly recommend this to any “senior saint” you know as well as family members and caregivers.

(This review will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

Randomness

I was going to do the usual Wednesday Random Dozen today….but I could only come up with answers for about half the questions. Then my mother-in-law’s hearing aid suddenly stopped working, and I had to take her over to get it checked, and didn’t get back til lunch time. Then I was just tired and not feeling well for a good bit of the afternoon.

Thankfully her hearing aid revived with a thorough cleaning and changing the tube. I was afraid they were going to have to send it off for repairs, and she really can’t hear much of anything without it. We still have her old one somewhere, but it is not a lot of help. It’s hard to communicate and disconcerting to her when she can’t hear, so it was a blessing that that’s all that was needed.

She was thrown off a bit when I came in because she had forgotten I was taking her in (somehow the lack of hearing wasn’t a reminder…), and she went back and forth from apologizing for forgetting (though it was not a big deal at all — just a matter of waiting for her to use the restroom) to frustratedly saying, “I wish you had reminded me!” 🙂 We had talked about it and I had left her a note…but such is life at 81.

I love the hearing aid doctor’s medical building, though. They have people waiting at the door to assist people, and they’ll open the car door, bring out a wheelchair, and wheel her in while I go park the car and then come back to take her to the appropriate office. She usually uses a walker rather than a wheelchair, but that would be a bit too much of a walk for her.  Then when we’re done I can leave her in the lobby by the door in the wheelchair while I bring the car around, and they’ll wheel her out and help her into the car.

Whenever I take her anywhere other than home or church, she almost always comments about hoping I know the way or being glad I know the way, because she sure doesn’t. 🙂 I assure her in an upbeat way that yes, I’ve lived here for twelve years and and pretty familiar with the area. But she even did that when she flew with Jim to visit and then later to move here. Even though he is a seasoned traveler, she was all worried about finding the right gate instead of trusting him to find it. But instead of getting frustrated, he told her what gate he was looking for and asked her to help him find it, and that kept her mind occupied and off the worry cycle a little. I guess all of that conveys an understandable underlying insecurity of being ferried around unfamiliar places under someone else’s direction and control. I mentioned a while back logical thinking is one of the first things to go in dementia, in this case the logical thinking that we know the way, and if we didn’t, we could find it, and even if we got lost, we’d find our way home eventually. But, for all that, most of the time she thinks pretty clearly, except for repeating conversations we’ve already had. New unfamiliar situations do trigger more muddled or illogical thinking.

After I took her back to her assisted living place just in time for her lunch there, I looked forward to getting one of my favorite fast food lunches, a McDouble and small fries for $2.18. I love their fries. But when I got home, I had two burgers and no fries. 🙂 I ate one and put one in the frig.

Speaking of fries, when I buy the frozen ones to bake, I usually like the smaller cuts. But the last time I wanted them, they didn’t have them, so I got the regular crinkle cut kind. I just didn’t like them as well. So one day this week when I was using up the rest of them, I tried spraying them with Pam and sprinkling garlic powder, salt, and paprika on them. They weren’t too bad — they need something else, though…

Last night I made peanut butter Rice Krispie treats with melted chocolate and peanut butter chips on top. Mmmmmm…

Only a week and a half til school is out! Yay!

I am loving the last few episodes of Lost. It’s kind of like a good book that I can hardly put down for wanting to see how it turns out, but then I miss it when I am finished. I think the definite end date has helped the writing to be a lot tighter, but I am SO going to miss this show when it is gone.

I was dismayed when Daris was in the bottom two on the Biggest Loser. I have been rooting for him all season, I think because he reminds me of my oldest, in that he is quiet and somewhat reserved. They’ve all come so far, though — I wish them all the best.

Well, I think that’s about enough randonmness — and it is time to go fix dinner. See ya later!

A public service announcement concerning walkers

No, not the walkers babies use, but the ones the elderly or disabled use.

1. Do not pull or jerk on the walker, even if trying to help the person over a bump. There are several reasons for this:

  • It throws them off balance.
  • The walker is an extension of themselves and it is an invasion of their personal space as much as if you pulled on their arm.
  • It can make them feel helpless and embarrassed.

Sometimes, however, the person may appreciate a little assistance if they are having trouble maneuvering. If you see someone trying to get their walker up a step or over a hump, be patient and observe for a moment and see if they are doing all right or seem frustrated. If you think they might like help, offer first. “Mrs. Jones, can I help you get your walker over this step here?” Don’t just jump in and jerk it. Gently lift it, especially being careful if they are leaning on it for balance: you may need to let them take your arm as well, depending on whether they can balance on their own for a moment or need help with a step.

2. The person with a walker usually understands that he or she is a little slow and you may want to get around them, and that’s fine, but please don’t cut in too closely — the sudden movement and closeness can also cause balance to waver.

3. Some people can’t stand long even with a walker. They would love to talk with you, but may need to sit down first.

4. If you see someone coming with a walker, please move out of their way. Often they feel conspicuous and cumbersome and are embarrassed to ask. Some are not, though, and will just call out a cheery, “Beep, beep!” or something similar — please don’t be offended.

5. Similarly, please don’t be offended if they accidentally bump into you. Sometimes, especially with older people, their depth perception is affected as well. Some might not even be aware that they bumped you, but most would be horrified.

I am writing both from the perspective of having used a walker for several months after TM, but also from my elderly mother-in-law’s perspective now. I think most people mean well, but have just never thought about or experienced some of these things from the point of view of one using a walker. A little patience and thoughtfulness are much appreciated.

Please feel free to share anything I may have forgotten or not thought about, but please keep it positive. I don’t want people to think we’re ranting or griping at them, but rather just informing and educating.

A poem for my birthday

(My Friday Fave Five post is below this one.)

I saw this poem several months ago quoted on the Facebook page of a friend’s daughter — a young woman in her mid-20s! I just loved it and set it aside to post on my birthday — today. I’m sharing it for Poetry Friday as well, hosted this week by The Boy Reader.

I shall be older than this one day.

I shall think myself young when I remember.

Nothing can stop the slow change of masks my face must wear, one following one.

These gloves my hands have put on, the pleated skin, patterned by the pale tracings of my days…

These are not MY hands! And yet, these gloves do not come off!

I shall wear older ones tomorrow, til glove after glove, and mask after mask, I am buried beneath the baggage of Old Women.

Oh, then shall I drop them off,

Unbutton the sagging, misshapen apparel of age, and run, young and naked into eternity.

~ Joan Walsh Anglund

So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory. I Corinthians 15:54

“Despise not thy mother when she is old.”

I was reading on a completely different topic yesterday when I was brought up short as the writer quoted the second half of Proverbs 23:22:

Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old.

We usually think of the word “despise” by today’s definition: “to regard with contempt, distaste, disgust, or disdain; scorn; loathe” (Dictionary.com). But sometimes the word translated “despise” in the KJV has an added layer in addition to those: “to hold as insignificant” (Bible StudyTools.com).

As a general rule, older people aren’t very well respected in American society. Oh, we might respect our individual grandparents and have a general feeling that we should be kind to older people. But they are often the target of jokes and stereotypes, and get behind one in a slow-moving vehicle or try to maneuver through a store having “Senior’s Day,” and frustration (and worse feelings) can abound. We often think of them as “out of touch” and do our best to just tolerate them.

Scripture has a different view of the elderly:

Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy God: I am the LORD. (Leviticus 19:32)

The hoary head is a crown of glory, if it be found in the way of righteousness. (Proverbs 16:31)

The glory of young men is their strength: and the beauty of old men is the grey head. (Proverbs 20:29)

I have to admit there can be frustrations in dealing with older people, which have become even more acute to me with my mother-in-law moving here: going through the same conversational loop four times in twenty minutes; a loss of social graces they once had; fretting and fears that they once could keep in perspective and under control but that now run rampant, etc. I don’t say these things to “talk down” about her or any older person, but just to be honest. The first verse I mentioned spoke to me in reminding me not to let those frustrations spill over into negative attitudes. We may not always have warm, fuzzy, altruistic, loving feelings when we’re helping or serving others — sometimes we do, but sometimes those come afterward (as one beloved professor used to say, “Good feelings follow right actions”), but we can guard against the negative.

A verse that I sometimes pray just before going to see my mother-in-law is “Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness” (Colossians 1:11), and I’ve been reminded recently of our Lord’s words that “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me” (Matthew 25:31-46) (not that I think of my mother-in-law or older people as “the least of these,” but rather I’m reminded that serving anyone else is service to Christ.) I Thessalonians 5:14 reminds me,”Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men.” And I remember sometimes, too, that some day, Lord willing, I’m going to be elderly, and “And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise” (Luke 6:31).

In some ways I am hesitant to post this because I don’t want to sound as if dealing with the elderly is all a trial of patience, and I don’t want to sound gripey. It can be pleasant, even fun sometimes. I hope those who don’t deal with the elderly and who might think we shouldn’t have any negative feelings will withhold judgment: There are frustrations in any relationship that we need to learn how to deal with Biblically. I’ve made several friends in cyberspace who also care for elderly parents, and I don’t want anyone to think I am talking about them: I’m just sharing what the Lord’s been dealing with me about, and I hope it is a blessing to you, too. It’s been a help to me when I read of your dealings with your loved ones.

The following has also been a blessing to me:

Grandmother’s Beatitudes or Beatitudes for Friends of the Aged

Blessed are they who understand
My faltering step and palsied hand.
Blessed are they who know that my ears today
Must strain to hear the things they say.
Blessed are they who seem to know
That my eyes are dim and wits are slow.
Blessed are they who look away
When coffee spilled at the table today.
Blessed are they with a cheery smile
Who stop to chat for a little while.
Blessed are they who never say
“You’ve told that story twice today.”
Blessed are they who know the ways
To bring back memories of yesterday.
Blessed are they who make it known
That I’m loved, respected, and not alone.
Blessed are they who know I’m at a loss
To find the strength to carry the cross.
Blessed are they who ease the way
On my journey Home in loving ways.

~ Author unknown

If you left a comment recently…

…on the post “Caring for Elderly Parents,” I apologize, but it was accidentally deleted. It was in my spam folder, which I do check every day, because sometimes legitimate comments get caught in there. But I only skim those posts lightly because they are so often vile (why do spammers not find better uses of their time??!!) I skimmed through the spam comments, clicked delete, and just before it disappeared saw what looked like a legitimate lengthy comment on the post about elderly parents, mentioning something about coming up to the one year mark of having moved my mother-in-law near to us. I checked with the WordPress support forum, and there is no way to get it back.

I hope whoever left that comment sees this and resubmits it. I would very much like to read what you had to say! My apologies again.

Laudable Linkage

Hmm…I was trying to come up with a more interesting title than just…”Interesting links.” But I’m not sure that’s “it” either.

At any rate, here are some interesting (looks like I need to get out my thesaurus) things I’ve found this week.

Quilly’s Barefoot Weather made me smile.

Crystal’s A life poured out for others convicted me.

I don’t remember how I found this, but Encouraging Caregivers is a blog that seeks to do just as its title says by one who is a caregiver in her home. Though my mother-in-law doesn’t live in our home, we’re actively involved in her life and care, and I’ve found much here to be helpful. A couple of the many good posts there: Things you can do to encourage yourself and Life with Mom.

Brenda’s Blog from Paraguay has some great, great advice for short-term mission teams. I was thankful that the mission trips my sons have been on were led by people who had been on the mission field, and this echoed much of what they were told. You might pray for Brenda — she’s just found out she has breast cancer and will have to come home to the US for treatment.

I’m not familiar with the blog All you have to give, but from a link somewhere (I forgot to note where) I found this great post on fasting.

I LOVE Anita’s creative space.

Just for fun, I did go head and look up “interesting” at Thesaurus.com: “appealing, entertaining. Synonyms: absorbing, affecting, alluring, amusing, arresting, attractive, beautiful, captivating, charismatic, compelling, curious, delightful, elegant, enchanting, engaging, engrossing, enthralling, entrancing, exceptional, exotic, fascinating, fine, gracious, gripping, impressive, intriguing, inviting, lovely, magnetic, pleasing, pleasurable, prepossessing, provocative, readable, refreshing, riveting, stimulating, stirring, striking, suspicious, thought-provoking, unusual, winning.” I think many of those adjectives apply to many of these links. 🙂 Not “suspicious,” though. And I need to look up what “prepossessing” means (the dictionary can keep me occupied for hours…)

Hope you have a great Saturday. I need to do laundry (again), make a smallish trip to the store, restock the missions closet at church for visiting missionaries tomorrow, and attend a baby shower. And then maybe jump into any of the 101 other things that need to be done around here. Or maybe not. 🙂

Alarmed and appalled

Not long ago I discovered The Common Room from a link on someone else’s blog, but I don’t remember whose. But one thing I appreciate about The Common Room is links to and discussions of articles I otherwise would never find.

Several of the posts there recently have focused on an alarming increasing trend: the supposed “moral obligation” to do away with members of society who are less than fully functioning, particularly the demented elderly and preborn babies who have Down’s Syndrome or other disabilities. That there is a fringe element is no surprise, but in this article, Ed Morrisey writes:

In yet another revealing moment for nationalized health care, a highly respected British ethicist said that dementia sufferers should get euthanized in order to preserve resources for healthier people. Baroness Warnock, described as “Britain’s leading moral philosopher”, said that the government should license people to be “put down” and stop being a drain on society:

The veteran Government adviser said pensioners in mental decline are “wasting people’s lives” because of the care they require and should be allowed to opt for euthanasia even if they are not in pain.

She insisted there was “nothing wrong” with people being helped to die for the sake of their loved ones or society.

The 84-year-old added that she hoped people will soon be “licensed to put others down” if they are unable to look after themselves. …

Lady Warnock said: “If you’re demented, you’re wasting people’s lives – your family’s lives – and you’re wasting the resources of the National Health Service.

This is Britain’s “leading moral philosopher.”

In this post and this, The Common Room quotes an article saying:

Canadian doctor warns Sarah Palin’s decision to have Down baby could reduce abortions.

Sarah and Todd Palin’s decision to complete her recent pregnancy, despite advance notice that their baby Trig had Down syndrome, is hailed by many in the pro-life movement as walking the walk as well as talking the talk.

But a senior Canadian doctor is now expressing concerns that such a prominent public role model as the governor of Alaska and potential vice president of the United States completing a Down syndrome pregnancy may prompt other women to make the same decision against abortion because of that genetic abnormality. And thereby reduce the number of abortions.

As she says, this is the kind of reasoning that makes her call them pro-abortion rather than pro-choice.

There are several related posts there under the labels “disabilities” and “pro-life.”

Some would argue that the elderly and the disabled only live so long these days because of advanced technology, and if nature were allowed to take its course, that would not be the case. But if we allowed nature “to take its course” in every case, diabetics would die, as would those needing organ transplants, and we’d still be having polio outbreaks.

It is ironic that eugenic abortions are recommended now in this age when technology gives the disabled more ability to function than ever before, as this Common Room post says:

Christopher Nolan, poet, author, and wheelchair bound victim of Cerebral Palsy so severe he communicates only via keyboard writes of himself:

“‘A brain-damaged baby cannot ponder why a mother cannot communicate with it, and unless it gains parental love and stimulation it stymies, and thus retardation fulsomely establishes its soul-destroying seabed.’ Conscious of the breathtaking sacrifice involved in what his family did for him, yet he detected where destiny beckoned. The future for babies like him never looked more promising, but now society frowned upon giving spastic babies a right to life. Now they threatened to abort babies like him, to detect in advance their handicapped state, to burrow through the womb and label them for death, to baffle their mothers with fear for their coming, and yet, the spastic baby would ever be the soul which would never kill, maim, creed falsehood or hate brotherhood. Why then does society fear the crippled child…and why does it hail the able-bodied child and crow over what may in time become a potential executioner?”

Elsewhere in his writings young Christopher marvels at the age he lives in, recognizing that a hundred years ago a child like him would have been trapped in himself, unable to communicate beyond a rudimentary level with even the most doting of parents. He would scarcely have survived his childhood, and he certainly wouldn’t have published a book, spent any time in the public eye, or given national awards. The western cultural attitude towards disability is disturbing, especially given the technological advances that give the disabled lives they didn’t even survive to dream about in previous centuries.

I suppose those who believe in evolution would classify this as “survival of the fittest,” although in the animal kingdom I think that generally refers to the fact that the weaker usually don’t survive long rather than the stronger actually doing away with the weak of their own kind.

But don’t even those who believe in evolution believe man is more highly evolved than a wolf pack? Do they not regard compassion and mercy as desirable traits?

Conversely, those who believe in creation believe that God has a purpose for every life. “God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty” (I Corinthians 1:27b). We are instructed to “comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men” (I Thessalonians 5:14b), not do away with them.

What purpose could God possibly have for disabled or demented people? See my previous posts titled With All Our Feebleness, Why Am I Still Here? and Scriptural Reasons For Suffering,  Jason Jantz’s Fourteen Reasons For Fourteen Years, where he shares perspectives of what God accomplished through the fourteen years his brother lived in a persistent vegetative state after an accident, Michael G. Franc’s article “Your Brother Is a Blessing,” and The Common Room’s “Quality of Life, Quality of Mercy” about her own disabled daughter.

Poetry Friday: Grandmother’s Beatitudes

I liked this when I first saw it in Elisabeth Elliot’s March/April 2003 newsletter, but it means even more now that my mother-in-law has moved near us. I have seen it in some places as “Grandmother’s Beatitudes,” other places as “Beatitudes for friends of the aged.”

Blessed are those who understand
My faltering step and palsied hand.

Blessed are those who know that my ears today
Must strain to catch the things they say.

Blessed are those who seem to know
That my eyes are dim and my wits are slow.

Blessed are those who looked away
When coffee spilled at table today.

Blessed are those with a cheery smile
Who stop to chat for a little while.

Blessed are those who never say,
“You’ve told that story twice today.”

Blessed are those who know the ways
To bring back memories of yesterdays.

Blessed are those who make it known
That I’m loved, respected, and not alone.

Blessed are those who know I’m at a loss
To find the strength to carry the Cross.

Blessed are those who ease the days
On my journey Home in loving ways.

– Esther Mary Walker

Poetry Friday is hosted this week by author amok.