One of the ways my brain works is to run through almost every possible contingency related to a situation. That’s helpful, for instance, in traveling. Well, maybe not so helpful in that I tend to overpack based on all those possibilities, but it’s rare that I am without an item I need, and if I do forget something, it’s imprinted on my brain for next time.

That tendency is also helpful in our ladies ministry at church when, for instance, I noticed that in a college student gift bag we had assembled,  the pointed ends of some loose pens were aimed right at some pudding cups. I could just imagine the recipient discovering a oozing pudding cup punctured by the pens during the jostling the gift bag would have taken en route. So I rearranged the package, also retrieving the soft Little Debbie snack cakes from underneath a heavier item and putting them on top.

When my children were little I had this amazing ability to foresee ways in which they could get hurt doing something. That could lend itself to obsessive over-protectiveness (and I’m sure my husband thought I probably did lean that way sometimes), but I think, kept in balance, it saved us all from a number of emergency room visits.

This tendency can cause problems, though, when it degenerates into excessive anxiety-producing “what if” thoughts. Sometimes what-if questions, like fear, can be helpful: for instance, if we’re crossing a busy street and fearful of being hit by a vehicle, we’ll watch the traffic lights, cross at the crosswalk, and be alert to where other vehicles are and what they’re doing. That fear goes too far, though, when it’s paralyzing, when we can’t even step into a clear street because a car might come upon us sooner than we think we can react.

And I have to confess I have made myself miserable, scared myself to death, and been nearly paralyzed at times by the multiplicity of what-if thoughts that my mind can produce. I have to “take every thought captive” (II Corinthians 10:5) and remind myself to “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).

Yesterday as I was facing a situation that tends me make me anxious and nervous, I had been asking the Lord for peace and calmness when one of those stray what-if thoughts assaulted me. Normally I would think, “Oh no! I hadn’t thought of that!” And that little thought would run its course to its logical conclusion and perhaps trigger other what-if thoughts in the process before I could wrestle it down and give it to the Lord to take care of.

This time, though, almost immediately the thought came, “Well, that’s just one more thing to trust the Lord for.” It wonderfully short-circuited that little thought before it took off.

I think it was Hudson Taylor who said “Man’s extremity is God’s opportunity.” When faced with a problem too big for us, a responsibility too heavy for us, a need too great for us, we can look for God’s intervention and help. And so with those tormenting little what-if thoughts, whatever the “what-if” is, even if it should come to pass, God is here, He knows about it, He allowed it for a reason and can bring good out of it, He can take care of it and provide the resources, wisdom, and grace to deal with it. And I can trust Him for all the possibilities.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts. Psalm 139:23

When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul. Psalm 94:19, NASB

I have to see the dentist in the morning. 😦 I have a filling that has been chipping out bit by bit. I saw the dentist last week and he said he didn’t think there was enough of the tooth left to do a root canal and crown, plus the x-ray showed what appeared to be a crack between the tooth and root. So he recommended extracting it and getting fitted for a bridge. That’s tomorrow (Wednesday) morning. I’d appreciate your prayers that it all goes well but especially that I won’t be anxious, because that then leads to other problems that cause more anxiety.

Update to add: I survived. 🙂 It’s not something I’d want to do often…or ever again…but the Lord greatly helped. Thinking through hymns like “Day By Day” and  “I Could Not Do Without Thee” (there was one other one — may have been “All Your Anxieties” — but I couldn’t remember all the words at the time) helped during all the drilling. The anxiety wasn’t completely absent, but it was much less than it has been for more minor procedures. I’d been listening to parts of Jim Berg’s Quieting A Noisy Soul the last couple of mornings, one and a half of the three sessions dealing with anxiety. I was reminded that thoughts contribute to emotions, so I tried, by God’s grace, to nip the “What ifs” in the bud by reminding myself that God was in control.

I hope this doesn’t sound silly to apply all these spiritual lessons to a dental procedure. It’s hard to know how much to share and yet be discreet, but I know it helps me when people share struggles they have that I also experience, so let’s just say, to put it delicately, that for some reason over the last several years when I get nervous or anxious, my insides liquefy and I have a hard time getting out of the bathroom (this makes traveling a nightmare). Plus for this procedure I was supposed to take antibiotics which can intensify that kind of problem. Plus I have a heart rhythm problem called supraventricular tachycardia which usually requires a trip to the ER and an iv dose of adenosine (nasty stuff — fast-acting, but make you feel like you’ve been kicked in the chest) to resolve. It doesn’t happen often — less than once a year — but I’d really like to avoid it, and I never know what will set it off. Plus there are all the usual dental fears — what if the numbing medication doesn’t work when they get in there, etc. So — I had a lot of what ifs to quiet. But God did give grace.

I’m still pretty numbed up (which is kind of nice, actually. This thing has been very uncomfortable. That’s one thought that kept me going, that after today I’d never have any more trouble with that tooth!) I imagine it will hurt some after the numbness wears off.

I have a temporary bridge. They make a cap for the teeth on either side of the removed one and  a “filler tooth” in the middle, so the bridge fits over the missing space plus the other two teeth. They took impressions and will have the finished one ready in a couple of weeks, after this heals.

Thanks to those who prayed! I really appreciate it!!