31 Days of Missionary Stories: Adoniram Judson’s Conversion

The salvation story of a five year old who is saved from a lifetime of heartache and bad memories is every bit a work of grace as the salvation of the most debauched sinner (though we have to remember, too, that what we think of as the “bad sins” are no worse than our pride, envy, and lack of love). A person doesn’t have to have a dramatic salvation story to have true faith and depth.

That said, one of the most dramatic salvation stories ever is that of Adoniram Judson. He is not quite as well-known a missionary as Hudson Taylor and Amy Carmichael, but he was among the first missionaries sent by America to another country.  I’ll say more about his life and ministry tomorrow, but for today I want to tell how he was saved. All quotes are from To the Golden Shore by Courtney Anderson.

The way the Lord brought this young man to Himself has me on the edge of my seat even though I know the story well. Plus, I have known people in much the same situation as Adoniram, and the obvious hand of God in his life gives hope and encouragement that He is at work drawing them as well, bringing them to the influences and people through whom He can work in their lives.

Adoniram had been raised in a strict Congregationalist pastor’s home in the late 1700s. There was never any indication that he didn’t believe: everything outwardly indicated his lifestyle was in line with what he had been taught all his life. When it was time for him to go to college, his father chose one where he was sure his son wouldn’t be led away from sound doctrine.

Adoniram had a brilliant mind which evidenced itself early in life and which God later used in translation work. He did excellently at college. He fell in with some friends who were Deists, who “rejected all revealed religion…. All the Deist admitted was the existence of a personal God.” They believed the Bible as well as other religions’ texts were only the work of men and that Jesus “was not the Son of God except in the sense that all men are” (pp. 33. 38). One of his best friends who had much influence on him was free-thinking Jacob Eames.

When Adoniram graduated and came home, he felt he could not just quietly go along with the family’s beliefs and practices any more. He broke the news to his parents that he had chosen a different way. His father tried to reason with him. “Very shortly he realized with dismay that every argument he advanced was being met by two better ones. Not for nothing had Adoniram been valedictorian of his class. Exposing the fallacies of his father’s syllogisms was child’s play. Point by point, with crushing finality, he demolished every thesis his father set out to prove…So far as logics and evidence went, Mr. Judson had to concede…He still knew he was right, but he could not prove it” (p. 38). His mother’s tears seemingly had little effect, either.

Adoniram had decided he wanted to go into the theater and perhaps become a playwright, so he left home and made his way to New York.

He happened to arrive during a very quiet time for the theater, He couldn’t find work, and then when he did find a theater troupe that hired him, the morals of the group appalled him.

He left to travel some more and ended up at an uncle’s home during the time a visiting young preacher was filling in for him. He and this young man of God “spent several hours in conversation. Adoniram was struck by the fact that, although his host was as pious as his father, there was a warmth, ‘a solemn but gentle earnestness,’ in his speech which kindled an answering warmth in the heart. To be a devoted minister it was not necessary, it seemed, to be austere and dictatorial like the Reverend Mr. Judson. Adoniram rode away in the morning deeply impressed. …The young minister…would [not] experience the pain of Adoniram’s inner conflict. He was at peace with himself” (p. 42).

Later in Adoniram’s travels, he came to a country inn, looking for a room for the night. The only available room, the innkeeper explained apologetically, was next to a young man who was dying. Adoniram assured the innkeeper that was all right, but through the night, he heard the sounds from the next room, and his thoughts were greatly disturbed considering what might happen after death.

The next morning as Adoniram checked out, he asked about the young man and learned that he had indeed passed away. For some reason he asked the young man’s name, and was startled to hear it was Jacob Eames.

Adoniram was stunned. Though shocked and saddened at the loss of a dear friend , especially one so young, even more disturbing were the thoughts that his beliefs could possibly be wrong. Was his friend even now experiencing “the unimaginable torments of the flames of hell — any chance of remedy, of going back, of correcting, lost, eternally lost?” “For already, this moment, Eames knew his error — too late for repentance” (p.44).

He wasn’t converted immediately, but he did realize that no one but God could have orchestrated all of the events since he left home, that they weren’t mere coincidence: the unexpected conversation with young preacher, the failure and disappointment of his plans in New York, and his ending up in a room in an inn next door to his dying friend. He felt he must learn more.

He went home where, soon afterward, two leading Congregationalist pastors came to visit his father to discuss a new theological seminary. They spent several hours talking with Adoniram. He “made an instant impression on [them]. His personality was ingratiating, yet without false humility. His mind was of the finest order. He already knew more theology than many theological students. He was open to conviction. He understood that he must undergo inner regeneration before he could look forward to faith and personal salvation. But clearly this was not to be accomplished in a few hours of argument. The very qualities that made the boy so worth saving made him hard to save. Yet the visitors felt almost at once that if he could find conviction he could become a minister such as had not been seen since the days of Whitefield and Jonathan Edwards” (pp. 47-48).

Eventually “they suggested that Adoniram enroll in the new seminary, where he would have the materials he needed to study to make up his own mind, and the counsel of some of the best theologians in the country” (p. 48). He was enrolled “as a special student — not as a candidate for the ministry” (p. 48). He began his studies: “under Dr. Pearson, he began to read the sacred literature in the original [languages]. At the same time he began to thrash out his theological doubts with Professor Woods, who turned out to be fully his match as a dialectician” (pp. 49-50).

He “felt no blinding flash of insight,” but by November he “began to entertain a hope of having received the regenerating influences of the Holy Spirit,” and December 2 “made a solemn dedication of himself to God” (p. 50).

31 Days of Missionary Stories: Answer to a Mother’s Prayer

I wanted to start off the 31 Days of Missionary Stories with God’s answer to an everyday, normal need. There are some dramatic missionary stories, but missionaries don’t spend all their time on the front lines fighting spiritual battles or out on the streets witnessing to everyone they meet. They have to deal with the same mundane affairs of life that we all do, and often those mundane affairs are more complicated than they are in America. That was especially true in previous centuries.

Jonathan and Rosalind Goforth were missionaries to China in the late 1800s and early 1900s. Mrs. Goforth has written Goforth of China, a biography of her husband; How I Know God Answers Prayer (I was delighted to find what appears to be all or most of the text of this book here, and it is free for the Kindle for a time here.); and Climbing, which includes many anecdotes she was requested to share as well as some of her own personal struggles. The following comes from Climbing.

The Goforths had just narrowly and traumatically escaped from the Boxer Rebellion in China to Shanghai. Until a ship left that they could find passage on, they had to stay in an empty house with little furniture. In the ten days they were there, her husband and son Paul bought some ready-made clothes, and she was able to have one dress made.

But the other three children! They were in rags given by the Chinese on the journey. How could I, without materials, without a machine, get an outfit made for even one, and the ocean voyage just ahead! Alone with the baby one morning I cast myself down by the little one and cried again and again to the Lord to send someone to help me. My distress was great. Help I must have, but I knew no one to whom I could turn. Then suddenly, while I was praying, the doorbell rang. On opening the door I found two women outside. They introduced themselves and told of having seen our names among those of the refugees. They were in charge of a Chinese girls’ school, but on account of the Boxer troubles, all the girls had been sent home. They then said, “We have nothing to do and thought you may need help.” Scarcely able to speak, I told them rapidly my story; how I was on my knees pleading for help when they rang the bell. A few moments followed in which we stood clasping hands, weeping, just too full for speech. Then they went away to get materials, for there was no time to lose.

In a very short time, they returned with a pile of materials of from three- to five- yard lengths. I cut out and gave directions for a number of garments. The women took all away and, with the help of some friends, made practically everything needed except for the baby, who, in the rush of getting others provided for, was forgotten! The day we sailed, I gathered a quantity of material together, planning to make the most necessary things for him on board ship. Then came the most beautiful proof of God’s overshadowing care.

We had been passing through the Inland Sea and were nearing Yokohama. I had been trying my utmost to get some necessary things ready for baby W., but my hands trembled so I could scarcely hold the needle. I struggled on, realizing my strength was going, but kept sewing til I could no longer see the needle. Rising, I folded the work, and, going down to the cabin, put it quietly, numbly into the trunk, saying, “Lord, I have done all I can. I can do no more. As you provided for the others, do so now for baby.” I then went on deck and lay down on a long chair exhausted. How long I lay there I do not know, but suddenly someone touched me and said, “There’s a large bundle come off the lighter for you: it is in your cabin.” Dazed at first, I could not take it in. Then it flashed into my mind, “It’s the answer.”

In the cabin, I found a letter attached to the bundle from Mrs. O. E., of the China Inland Mission, whose husband was at that time risking his life in China, seeking to bring out to safety women of the mission who were in peril. The letter stated that her little son, the same age as my baby, had died some months before and she felt it laid upon her to send me, for my child, his outfit. I opened the bundle to find not only a most beautiful, complete outfit for my little one, but also many things I needed for myself and the other children. It was indeed one of the Lord’s exceedingly abundant answers. Is it any wonder that those words written so long ago by the psalmist have always had a deep thrill of response in my heart?

I love the LORD, because he hath heard my voice and my supplications. Because he hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore will I call upon him as long as I live. – Psalm 116:1-2.

God cares about the souls of people and the affairs of nations. But He also cares about the needs of mother’s hearts and children’s bodies.

31 Days of Missionary Stories

I’ve seen that several bloggers are participating in a 31 Days series hosted by Nesting Place. The basic idea is to choose a topic that you write about each day of October. I thought, “Hmm, that sounds interesting…but what in the world would I write about?” Then it hit me this morning: I love to read missionary biographies or stories: when I first started my blog I did a series for a few weeks on different missionary stories or anecdotes, and I have been doing the same in a church ladies’ newsletter for years. What a great opportunity to share some of those here! Some times it will be an overview of a person’s life: some times it will be just one incident or anecdote.

Why missionary stories? Because it increases my faith to see men and women “of like passions as we are” who learn, grow, overcome, and are used by God. I wrote more about reading missionary biographies before, and an excerpt from that is:

We learn history for a number of reasons, among them: to better understand our current times, to appreciate our heritage, to avoid repeating mistakes. There are heroes in our national history who inspire us to a love of country and duty and courage. There are heroes of our spiritual heritage who inspire us in love and dedication to God and to greater faith in remembering that the God they served and loved and Who provided for and used them is the very same God we love and serve today and Who will provide for us and use us. Though times and culture change, human nature at its core doesn’t change much, and God never changes.

This poem, which I first saw in Rosalind Goforth’s book, Climbing, embodies my own thoughts and feelings as well.

Call Back!

If you have gone a little way ahead of me, call back-
It will cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track;
And if, perchance, Faith’s light is dim, because the oil is low,
Your call will guide my lagging course as wearily I go.

Call back, and tell me that He went with you into the storm;
Call back, and say He kept you when forest’s roots were torn;
That when the heavens thunder and the earthquake shook the hill.
He bore you up and held where the very air was still.

O friend, call back, and tell me for I cannot see your face;
They say it glows with triumph, and your feet bound in the race;
But there are mists between us and my spirit eyes are dim,
And I cannot see the glory, though I long for word of Him.

But if you’ll say He heard you when your prayer was but a cry,
And if you’ll say He saw you through the night’s sin-darkened sky-
If you have gone a little way ahead, O friend, call back-
It will cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track.

I hope you’ll join me as we look to those who have gone on before us and learn from them.

I’ll be using this post as a directory to list the posts in the series.

Day 1: This post
Day 2: Rosalind Goforth; Answer to a Mother’s Prayer.
Day 3: Adoniram Judson’s Conversion.
Day 4: Adoniram Judson’s biography: To the Golden Shore.
Day 5: John Paton, Missionary to Cannibals.
Day 6: Darlene Deibler Rose: Missionary POW.
Day 7: Gracia Burnham and God’s Grace in Captivity.
Day 8: Isobel Kuhn Learns to Put God First.
Day 9: Isobel Kuhn’s Marriage: Whom God Hath Joined.
Day 10: Don Richardson: How to minister to a culture that values treachery?
Day 11: Amy Carmichael: With All Our Feebleness: Victory Through Pain and Illness.
Day 12: Amy Carmichael Learns to Die to Self.
Day 13: Amy Carmichael and Singleness.
Day 14: Gladys Aylward: The Small Woman With Big Faith.
Day 15: Mary Slessor and the Power of a Woman’s God.
Day 16: Spirit of the Rainforest: A Yanomamo Shaman’s Story
Day 17: Eric Liddell: Olympian and Missionary.
Day 18: Dr. John Dreisbach: Modern Missionary Statesman and Surgeon.
Day 19: The “Cambridge Seven
Day 20: William Carey: “Attempt great things for God. Expect great things from God.
Day 21: Rosalind Goforth, A Woman “Of Like Passions” As We Are.
Day 22: J. O. Fraser: Pianist and Engineer Turned Missionary.
Day 23: Dallas and Kay Washer, Candles in the Darkness.
Day 24: Margaret Stringer: Missionary to Cannibals With a Merry Heart and a Faithful Spirit.
Day 25: Clint and Rita Vernoy: On Ethnocide and Raising Children in the Jungle.
Day 26: Verda Peet: Sometimes I Prefer to Fuss.
Day 27: Jim Elliot’s Journals.
Day 28: Hudson Taylor, Pioneer Missionary.
Day 29: Not Only Preachers Are Called To Be Missionaries.
Day 30: Different ways to support and encourage missionaries.
Day 31: Thoughts on pedestals and missionary biographies with a list of my favorites.

You can see what other people are writing about for this 31 day challenge here: there are nine different categories.

(Photo courtesy of MorgueFile)

We follow our focus

Does anyone else have this experience…when you’re driving, and you look away from the road, do you start heading in the direction you’re looking, without trying to? I have had that happen often and have learned not to look away for long, or else I’ll end up in a ditch. I’ve had to be especially careful since we moved to TN: the hilliness makes for some steep drop-offs, and not all of them have guard rails. In fact, I was so afraid of veering off the edge of the road when we first moved here, that I kept a close eye on the edge, only to find myself drifting that way. Or I’d be so afraid of getting too close to the edge that I’d overcompensate and drift toward the lane of oncoming traffic. I had to learn to keep my eyes on the road ahead with only occasional glances in other directions. Of course, drivers do have to keep an eye out for other cars, pedestrians, cats and dogs (and ever deer in some places here), traffic lights, potential trouble situations, etc., but by and large, our eyes have to look straight out in front to keep us safely where we are supposed to be on the road.

800px-Million_Dollar_Highway_10_2006_09_13(Photo courtesy of Wikipedia)

I think the same holds true spiritually. We do have to watch out for potential dangers, we have to be aware of the “don’ts” in the Bible, we have to guard against temptation. But there is danger in a continual focus that direction. Solomon, who warned many times in Proverbs against strange women, ultimately had his heart turned away from the Lord by multiple wives and concubines. It is sadly not unusual for a preacher who majors often on immorality to succumb to temptation in that area. I remember reading in a biography of some famous preacher from years ago (unfortunately, I can’t remember which one) the advice that young people should have their purity meetings and then move on to something else. I don’t know what they did at purity meetings – I assume they heard preaching about it and then were encouraged to make their vows. But I thought the advice not to linger long on that one area, but to move on to the larger focus of the Christian life, was wise.

This applies in other areas besides morality. If I stare at a chocolate cake while trying to resist it, I am likely to fail. In one missionary autobiography, the author wrote that she struggled for years to truly love other people, and as long as she looked at herself and and her lack of love, she was defeated. But when she began instead to focus on God’s love for her, then gradually He enabled her to truly love others.

We’re told in Scripture not only to “flee also youthful lusts” but also to “follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart” (II Timothy 2:22); “But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness” (I Timothy 6:11). It is not enough just to try to avoid doing wrong: we need to actively pursue what is right.

Ultimately we are changed more and more into His image by beholding Him in His Word and in our prayer time. II Corinthians 3:18 says, But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith;
who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross,
despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:2

 

Wanting Things To Be Perfect

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You know how it is when company’s coming. Though you always want to keep your house to a certain level of cleanliness, and you do esteem your family members above everyone else, there is just something about having company that sets off a housecleaning frenzy.

I learned long ago that I can’t usually get everything done that I’d like to do before company comes, so I’ve learned how to prioritize and hit the most important things first. If I have enough warning, sometimes I can get some of those long overdue household projects done as well.

But no matter how much I do, it seems there is always something I miss. One time a friend of my son and daughter-in-law’s was in town visiting them, and I invited them all over for dinner one night. I was rejoicing in getting just about everything done that I wanted to before they came. Dinner was not quite ready when they got here (because I decided I needed to vacuum my room before I started dinner, even though it was unlikely she would go in there. It had been needing it anyway and it was a relief of mind to get it done). They offered to help and set the table, but dinner was just a matter of waiting on things to cook through. While they waited, our guest played some different hymns. It rejoiced my heart to hear the piano at home again: no one had played in months since we let Jesse drop out of lessons. We enjoyed a nice time of fellowship later with dinner.

The next day, I was picking up some things in the living room when I noticed some scattered debris on the piano next to the keys. “What in the world…?” I thought. I had just dusted it the day before. As I drew closer to inspect it, I saw it was needles from the Christmas tree. From last December. On my piano in May. We had had the cover over the piano keys closed for so long, I didn’t even think to open it to dust under there. And there it was for our guest to discover!

That reminded me of another time in early married years when we wanted to have the youth group over after church one Sunday night. We had furiously cleaned the day before until everything was gleaming. As the young people came in and then started singing, my eyes strayed behind them to the bookcase, on top of which was the can of dusting spray, on top of which was the dustrag, which happened to be an old pair of my husband’s underwear with the distinctive waistband showing. I was mortified, but I couldn’t do anything about it: if I went toward it to remove it, all eyes would see and notice it then. So I just left it and hoped no one saw it. If they did, they were too polite to say so. I couldn’t do anything but laugh about it afterward, since there was no way to correct it.

I’ve had what sometimes seems like more than my share of laughable, imperfect cooking experiences from disastrous cakes to green gravy to volcanic teriyaki.

I was reading a book on hospitality once where the author wrote about having a bit of time to relax, so she sat on the sofa and read the newspaper. Then someone came to the door, and when she answered it she saw it was an acquaintance who had dropped by unexpectedly. The author was embarrassed that things weren’t “picked up,” but invited her guest in anyway. When the guest saw the scattered newspapers, she smiled and said something like, “Now we can be friends.” When people are “perfect,” we can’t quite relate to them and they can even seem unapproachable. But when we see they have the same struggles we do, then they are more genuine to us and we can interact with them more comfortably.

Years ago when I first joined the Transverse Myelitis Internet Club, I wanted to be a good testimony there. It’s frowned upon to use such a forum as a “bully pulpit,” and I didn’t want to do that, anyway. But I did want to honestly relate how God helped me and I wanted to be a light for Him there while gaining information and support. Because of that, I tried to keep my posts upbeat and hopeful. Some months later another Christian lady joined, and I was blessed by how honest she was about her struggles. She wasn’t morose or complaining, but she shared her everyday struggles as well as her faith. I e-mailed her privately about how refreshing her posts were, and she wrote back that it wouldn’t pay to hide her struggles. By sharing that she struggled with the same things everyone else did, she was more genuine and had more of an open door with them.

In the chapter “Women of Like Passions” from her book Keep a Quiet Heart, Elisabeth Elliot wrote of a woman at a conference who had asked to speak to her, but was hesitant to “bother” her and was a little afraid of her. Elisabeth agreed to speak with her and tried to reassure her, and later the leader of the conference told Elisabeth that the woman had told her, “Oh, it wasn’t bad after all! I walked in–I was shaking. I looked into her eyes, and I knew that she, too, had suffered. Then she gave me this beautiful smile. When I saw that huge space between her front teeth, I said to myself, ‘it’s OK–she’s not perfect!’”

Then in the same chapter she wrote of a time when her daughter, Valerie, was speaking, lost her place in her notes, and after a long, awkward time span of not being able to find it again, did the best she could ad-libbing the rest. She was nearly in tears as she finished, but afterward one person told her it was the best class so far and another thanked her for what she had said that helped her. Later she told her mother, “I couldn’t understand why this had happened. I had prepared faithfully, done the best I could. But then I remembered a prayer I’d prayed that week (Walt told me it was a ridiculous prayer!)–asking the Lord to make those women know that I’m just an ordinary woman like the rest of them and I need His help. I guess this was His answer, don’t you think?”

We need to let go of perfectionism. Who are we trying to fool, anyway? We so want for things to be “just right” when we have company or have an event. And that’s a worthy desire. It shows care for the guests and care for one’s home and surroundings. I’ve been in places where there was no such care, and they were uncomfortable places to be! We shouldn’t be slovenly or careless, but we don’t need to beat ourselves up when things aren’t “perfect” even when we’ve done our best. It helps to just laugh at ourselves (with others, if they’re aware), learn from the situation (next time I will lift the piano key cover and dust under there, and put cleaning supplies away!), and, for serious offenses, go to Jesus for cleansing and restoration. Even though He is perfect, He is approachable because He bore our sin and its punishment so that we could be forgiven. We can never be perfect on our own, but by His grace we can be washed white as snow, pure and spotless.

For verily he took not on him the nature of angels; but he took on him the seed of Abraham. Wherefore in all things it behoved him to be made like unto his brethren, that he might be a merciful and faithful high priest in things pertaining to God, to make reconciliation for the sins of the people.  For in that he himself hath suffered being tempted, he is able to succour (help, aid) them that are tempted. Hebrews 2:16-18.

For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.
Hebrews 4:15-16.

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Revised from the archives.

Photo courtesy of morguefile.com.

Related posts:

A Perfect Christmas.
Perfect Peace.
Imperfect Families.

Tension and Balance

This is a repost from May of last year. The topic has been on my mind again this week, so I thought I’d share these thoughts again. __________________________________________________________

A news item on this radio this morning about opposing viewpoints sparked a memory.

Some years ago, in  different town and church from where we are now, my husband had spoken to the pastor privately about what we sensed as a subtle shift. It wasn’t a major problem at that point, but if it continued it would lead to a major drift from the church’s position as it was when we had first come. The pastor graciously heard him, and at some point made the comment that the church needed the more conservative members to keep it from going too far and the more adventurous members to keep it from being stuck in the status quo.

I hadn’t thought about that before, but the idea came up again in a series at the same church on spiritual gifts. Everything I had ever read or any little “test” I had taken before all concentrated on you and finding out what your gifts are, but this particular study went further and studied the issue from various angles. One angle was the potential clash between people with various gifts.

There is a certain tension between opposing viewpoints: those who want change vs. those who want sameness; those whose natural stance is “Let’s do it now!” vs. those who who say, “Let’s think about it first.” This tension between opposing viewpoints, personalities, and gifts can exist in government, families, churches, clubs, any organization of more than one person.

But it’s not all bad. It keeps us in balance. It helps us consider other sides of issues, other consequences to actions. It helps expose our own weaknesses.

Years ago when a very big, important issue came up for a church vote, and everyone voted “yes” with no discussion, the pastor was concerned that people hadn’t really taken time to consider the issue. He would preferred to have the discussion out then rather than later on after action had been taken. He wanted unity, yes, but not “yes men” who do whatever the leadership thinks without thinking on their own. That can backfire: a dear pastor friend was voted out for “running the church into debt” when of course he had not done so singlehandedly. His church had voted every step of the way to all the projects being voted on, yet when crunch time came they blamed the leader. Most good leaders would much rather have the discussions, questions, doubts, etc., out on the table and have an opportunity to work them out ahead of time and then approach the action with unity, than to have everyone seem to be in unity at first and then fragment afterward.

In the area of spiritual gifts, those with the gift of mercy might be moved with compassion and immediately want to help in a certain situation while others with the gift of discernment want to hold back and check into the situation a little more thoroughly first. They keep each other in balance. That’s one of many reasons a church is made up of people with varying gifts working together as a whole. If a church’s members all had the gift of mercy, it would likely go bankrupt soon as it ran out of funds. If a church’s members all had the gift of evangelism, it would have a lot of new members but not much depth if there were none gifted to teach. Yet those different giftings and emphases can cause tension between them.

I’m thinking that the tension between two opposing forces might be the essence of balance. Think of a plane flying: there is the pull of gravity to keep it from flying off into space, but the tension of speed, wind, and air currents to enable it to fly. There is tension in a sewing machine to enable the threads from top and bottom to secure the fabric between: a tension set too tight or too loose causes problems. There is a certain tension in gears and machinery.

Within Christendom, we’re called to love those with an opposing viewpoints (I’m talking here about Christians with the same bedrock doctrinal truths who might differ in other ways, not taking a soft stance on false doctrine, though of course we’re to love folks in that situation, too, yet  love God’s truth enough to defend it), to remember they belong to the same God and the same family we do and to remember that we need each other and that God made us each with all our differences. We can, or should be able to, air differences of opinion without the heat and hatefulness the world displays. When the tension is set the right way, we keep each other in balance.

Book Review: The Fruitful Wife

Fruitful WifeHave you had the experience of having a book on your shelf for months, perhaps years, then feeling an urge to pick it up and finding it was just what you needed at that very moment? I have, many times, and The Fruitful Wife: Cultivating a Love Only God Can Produce by Hayley DiMarco was the latest instance. I first saw the book mentioned about a year ago at Carrie’s review, and, in fact, won a copy from her. But it had been sitting on my desk ever since.

Last year while reading through The Discipline of Grace by Jerry Bridges with Challies’ “Reading Classics Together” group, I was convicted when Bridges pointed out that we spend a lot of time thinking about the negative character qualities we need forgiveness and victory over but not enough of the positive ones that we need to incorporate in our lives. The Bible tells us not only to forsake and flee some things but to follow after others, not only to put off the old man, but to put on the new. So, because of that prompting and because of the lack of it in my life, at the beginning of this year I thought I might do a word study on each aspect of the fruit of the Spirit. But I think I was daunted by the massive amount of material in the Bible on the first one, love, and I never got started on it. Some ladies at church even went through Beth Moore’s study on this earlier in the year, which I thought was timely and would be beneficial, but for various reasons I ended up not participating. Then I noticed again The Fruitful Wife book on my desk and had a light bulb moment. 🙂 Here would be my “guided tour” through the fruit of the Spirit.

That’s exactly what Hayley does: she explores each of the nine facets of the fruit of the Spirit listed in Galatians 5 and applies its truths particularly to marriage. In some ways I wish this had been called The Fruitful Woman rather than just focusing on wives, because its truths are applicable in any relationship, and single women might not read it. But I understand that that’s probably the main relationship where our true self in all its flaws is seen and where we tend to let down our guard, so seeking to cultivate the fruit of the Spirit here will overflow into other areas. I would recommend this to single ladies: not only would the study be beneficial, but it might be eye-opening in regard to marriage in general.

In the introduction, Hayley points out that the fruit of the Spirit does not come naturally: naturally we react from the flesh. But when we believe on the Lord Jesus Christ for salvation and His Spirit enters our hearts, then He begins to work to cultivate that fruit into our lives. We do still have our flesh, though, and still react too often from it: the flesh and the Spirit are in almost constant conflict. But by abiding in Christ and yielding to the Holy Spirit, more of His fruit can be cultivated in our lives. She also points out that growing fruit isn’t just for our own self-indulgence: fruit is meant to feed people. “Your fruit is meant to serve the hungry, to prove the goodness of the Spirit from which it comes to those who would partake of it” (p. 16).

Then each following chapter focuses on one of each of the nine parts of the fruit of the Spirit. I can’t summarize each one, but I’ll share a sampling of the lines that most spoke to me:

“Love is less about how I feel, but more about what I do. It isn’t about getting, but giving. It isn’t about reward, but sacrifice. And it isn’t about excitement, but endurance” (p. 20).

“We are able to love those the world finds difficult because of God’s great and all-encompassing love for us” (p. 22).

Love must first be understood as dependant on His love for us, and our response to love must be action, not reliance on feeling good” (p. 22).

Love is not about responding to how others make us feel, but about the Holy Spirit’s promptings in our souls” (p. 23).

“We have to understand that to rejoice is to do something, not to feel something” (p. 44).

It’s through the Spirit that you can believe against all odds, find joy against all belief, and trust against all doubt that He is who He says He is and that your life is firmly in His hands” (p. 51).

“Once I took my eyes off of my lack and put them on His abundance, I found the joy I was lacking” (p. 55).

“To sit and wait for joy to arrive without turning your mind to the things of Christ is like expecting the Holy Spirit to take 15 pounds off your body while [you are] sitting on the couch eating ice cream” (p. 57).

“Peace comes from an absence of conflict, not external conflict but internal conflict…Peace comes from your acceptance of suffering, not your exemption from it…It is a calm knowing and a restful understanding of the ways of a world held in the hand of a perfect God” (p. 68).

God desires my patience over my deadline, my calm heart over my hurried schedule, my genuine love over my preferred plans for those I love. When we see God over the difficulty, we find the patience over the impatience (p. 94).

“See any minor disruptions to our comfort as potentially essential to our righteousness and perfection” (p. 96).

“When we make our kindness about Him and not about us, then we will find it comes so much more easily” (p. 120).

“It isn’t the kindness we experience in response to the way others make us feel but the kindness we give in spite of the way others make us feel, that truly exhibits the fruit of the Spirit” (p. 120).

“It isn’t your obedience that makes you good, but His goodness and love that make you obedient, and it’s this goodness that reveals our faith in Him” (p. 126).

“Faithfulness isn’t just about not cheating on someone but about living a life of truth in our depths – truth that permeates all of our thoughts, words, and actions” (p. 148).

“Remember that while He walked this earth, Christ didn’t micromanage the lives of people around Him. He wasn’t controlling in His demands of their obedience. He didn’t run after the rich young ruler who wouldn’t sell all he had to follow Him. Jesus didn’t chase him down and demand compliance. If then, being so perfect and wise, He can allow people to fail, why do we believe it our job to micromanage the life of our husband? Can we trust God to speak to him, teach him, and lead him?” (p. 168).

“Women who want to involve themselves in other people’s business and attempt to fix them, change them, or somehow micromanage their lives are meddlesome, and this is not a character trait of gentleness. It is harshness that interjects itself into the lives of others uninvited, and so the fruit of the Spirit doesn’t serve this end. The busybody or meddlesome woman isn’t walking in quiet gentleness, but in the harshness of control and micromanaging. But gentleness allows God to do what God does best – take care of everything, be in control, and manage the lives of His children” (pp. 168-169.)

“We must never, through our resistance to the idea of self-control, make our confession a pillow for our sin” (p. 193).

“Only the presence of life can grow fruit” (p. 197).

“Even though a farmer works hard at tending his crops, he can’t do anything to create the fruit. Only the vine has in it what is necessary for life. And so it is for us. It is because of the vine that we can grow any fruit at all. So then, why was all the paper wasted in printing this book, if it all rests on the vine? Because there exists for man a role to play, and that isn’t a passive role whereby we sit quietly by as God changes us without our participation. It is an active role that begins as we turn our thoughts toward the vine. Thus setting of your mind on the Spirit isn’t something you do only once; it is something that must continually be done. Each time our minds wander into areas of the flesh, into areas of darkness, they need to be redirected and brought back to the light. And in the light they will find just what they need for nurturing the fruit the way the farmer does as he waters and cares for his crops” (pp. 197-198).

“To continue to allow the flesh a voice in our lives is to subdue the voice of the Spirit and to reject His will as secondary to our own” (p. 200).

Hayley doesn’t write from the standpoint of a super-Christian who has it all down pat and worked out perfectly. No, she is very honest and straightforward about her own failings and where the Lord has taken her as she has sought to abide in Him. That lends an authenticity and a relatability that would be lacking in a book written from someone’s lofty perch of supposed perfection. But she also pulls no punches with her readers: if we are not honest and real with our faults and sins, we won’t get victory over them.

I read this book as quickly as I could at first, because I knew I needed it all. But I felt I had hardly grasped a fraction of it, so I reread and outlined it. I came to realize, though, that reading a book and doing word studies aren’t going to get me to the place where I can say, “I’ve got it!” and never have to sort through these truths again. No, as Hayley said in a quote above, I will need to remind myself of them often, and I can add to my understanding over time and continue to grow. I probably will reread this book at intervals. I have started those word studies and have a good base, but I am going to add to them over time as I read the Bible rather than sorting through and organizing hundreds of verses but missing their impact.

There are just a very few spots that were a little weak, in my opinion. For instance, in the first half or so of the chapter on goodness, instead of delving into what the word “goodness” means in Galatians 5:22-23 and bringing out verses about it, as she does in most of the other chapters, she kind of philosophizes that “good” is relative to what pleases us (chocolate ice cream is good to her, but bratwursts are good to her husband), therefore, since God is inherently good, whatever pleases God is good. That’s true, in a sense, but as I said, seemed weaker to me than getting into verses about goodness (which she does later in the chapter and which approach she does use in most of the chapters).

Overall the book is chock full of wisdom, and I am happy to recommend it. In fact, I think it is so beneficial that I am going to give away a copy. Not my copy – it is all marked up and has sticky tabs poking out of it. 🙂 But I’ll send one person your own brand new copy of the book. If you’d like to enter the giveaway, leave a comment below and I will choose one name from among the comments a week from today. (I will just use each name once, so multiple comments won’t count more). The drawing is closed. The winner is Janet! Congratulations!

(This will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

Lord, With Glowing Heart I’d Praise Thee

Lord, with glowing heart I’d praise Thee,
For the bliss Thy love bestows,
For the pardoning grace that saves me,
And the peace that from it flows:
Help, O God, my weak endeavor;
This dull soul to rapture raise:
Thou must light the flame, or never
Can my love be warmed to praise.

Praise, my soul, the God that sought thee,
Wretched wanderer, far astray;
Found thee lost, and kindly brought thee
From the paths of death away;
Praise, with love’s devoutest feeling,
Him Who saw thy guilt-born fear,
And the light of hope revealing,
Bade the blood-stained cross appear.

Praise thy Savior God that drew thee
To that cross, new life to give,
Held a blood sealed pardon to thee,
Bade thee look to Him and live.
Praise the grace whose threats alarmed thee,
Roused thee from thy fatal ease;
Praise the grace whose promise warmed thee,
Praise the grace that whispered peace.

~ Francis Scott Key

~ Excerpted from the entire hymn here.

To look back or not to look back

Recently I saw the saying, “Don’t look back: you’re not going that way” on Pinterest, and now it seems like I am seeing it all over the place.

Is that good advice? It can be sometimes, if looking back is keeping you from moving forward, if it is keeping you from obedience, if it tempts you in any kind of wrong way, if it causes you to wallow in regret instead of repentance or instead of learning a better way, if it fuels your longing for something or someone you should not have.

We don’t know all the reasons Lot’s family was told not to look back, but when Jesus admonished His hearers to “Remember Lot’s wife,” who did look back and was turned into a pillar of salt, the context was that of the coming of the kingdom of God, and just after mentioning her, He said, “Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it; and whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it.” Clearly when God says, “Go!” then it is not time to look back.

But are there times to look back? This depiction of the saying above amused me, because in context, not looking back would be a major safety hazard!

Looking back

This one also makes a good point:

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There are times God tells us to look back. Just this morning I read, “Hearken to me, ye that follow after righteousness, ye that seek the Lord: look unto the rock whence ye are hewn, and to the hole of the pit whence ye are digged” (Isaiah 51:10). It is good to look back at where the Lord found us and where He brought us from. Many times in both the Old and New Testaments, a prophet, preacher, or apostle recounted Israel’s history to them, reminding them of their unfaithfulness and His faithfulness and mercy and grace. They were told to “remember all the way which the LORD thy God led thee these forty years in the wilderness, to humble thee, and to prove thee, to know what was in thine heart, whether thou wouldest keep his commandments, or no” (Deuteronomy 8:2), “Remember the days of old, consider the years of many generations: ask thy father, and he will shew thee; thy elders, and they will tell thee” (Deuteronomy 32:7), “Remember his marvellous works that he hath done, his wonders, and the judgments of his mouth” (I Chronicles 16:12).

A couple of churches mentioned in Revelation were admonished to “Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent,” (Revelation 2:5), and “Be watchful, and strengthen the things which remain, that are ready to die: for I have not found thy works perfect before God. Remember therefore how thou hast received and heard, and hold fast, and repent. If therefore thou shalt not watch, I will come on thee as a thief, and thou shalt not know what hour I will come upon thee” (2:2-3).

The Psalmist encouraged himself (here and here and here, among other places) by looking back and remembering how God had met his needs and faithfully dealt with him in the past.

Peter said, “This second epistle, beloved, I now write unto you; in both which I stir up your pure minds by way of remembrance: That ye may be mindful of the words which were spoken before by the holy prophets, and of the commandment of us the apostles of the Lord and Saviour” (I Peter 3:1-2).

So, do we look back or do we not look back? We can’t live life by catch phrases. There are times and reasons to look back, but there are times and reasons not to look back: it depends on what we are looking at and why and what effect it has on us.

I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry.

He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.

And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord.

Blessed is that man that maketh the Lord his trust.

Psalm 40:1-4a.

Solitude vs. Community

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(Photo courtesy of Morguefile.com)

“Community” has become kind of a buzzword over the last year or two. As an introvert, I tend to prefer time alone to a lot of community, but few, if any, introverts want to be complete hermits. Everyone needs some interaction with other people. For Christians in particular, the Bible instructs to do certain things to, for, or with others:

Wash one another’s feet—John 13:14.
Love one another—John 13:3; 15:12, 17; Romans 13:8; I Peter 1:22; I John 3:11, 23; 4:7, 11.
In honor preferring one another—Romans 12:10.
Don’t judge one another—Romans 14:13.
Receive one another—Romans 15:7.
Salute one another—Romans 16:16.*
Greet one another—I Cor. 16:20, II Cor. 13:12, I Peter 5:14.
Serve one another—Gal. 5:13.
Don’t provoke one another or envy one another—Gal. 5:26.
Bear one another’s burdens—Gal. 6:2.
Forbear one another in love—Eph. 4:2, Col. 3:13.
Forgive one another—Eph. 4:32, Col. 3:13.
Teach and admonish one another with song—Col. 3:16.
Comfort one another—I Thess. 4:18.
Edify one another—I Thess. 5:11.
Exhort one another— Heb. 3:13; 10:25.
Consider one another to provoke unto love and good works—Heb. 10:24.

I’m told that there are over 50 “one another” passages in the Bible, but these are the ones I found, which would keep me busy for a very long time.

The Bible also tells us we should “Not [forsake] the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but [exhort] one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching” (Hebrews 10:25). The early disciples “continued stedfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and in prayers” (Acts 2:42).

So engaging with other people, and especially other believers, is vitally important. Yet any truth can be taken too far.

Our church has been going through Tim Keller’s “Gospel in Life” video series in small groups on Sunday nights. One emphasis in the series has been on the implications of the gospel in every area of life, not just initial salvation; the other emphasis has been on community. My husband and I have had mixed emotions about the study (perhaps another post for another time), but it has convicted me of my tendency to keep too much to myself and the need to be actively involved in the life of others and to be open to their involvement in mine.

But one of Keller’s statements jarred me: “We will not know God, change deeply, nor win the world apart from community.” I take strong exception to that. For me personally, the times I feel I am best getting to know God the most deeply and am most subject to change are times alone with Him and my Bible. Though preaching, church services, and discussions with others may enhance that, it can’t replace or supersede that. Even in listening to preaching, I’ve usually derived more from it those times I’ve been unwell at home and listened to a sermon online while having my Bible program and Word document open for notes. I would not say that time with community is more important or necessary than time alone. Sometimes, frankly, community can be a distraction to growth.

And even though as Christians we can help strengthen each other by praying for each other, reminding each other of what the Bible says, and helping each other in practical ways, there are times we need to be alone with God and times we have to stand alone with Him.

Think of Joseph, separated from family, friends, and any godly influences when he was sold by his brothers into slavery. If he had not known how to walk with God alone, his story would have been much different than the one we have recorded for us.

Jacob, who had plenty of community with four wives and 13 children, in a turning point in his life was “was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day.” Another significant event took place in his life when God spoke to him when he was traveling alone.

Daniel had three friends while in exile, but received visions from the Lord while alone and had to face the lion’s den alone.

David communed with God alone several times (here and here, for example), knew great loneliness, and knew how to encourage himself in the Lord.

Though Paul traveled and ministered with companions, at times he had to stand alone.

Jesus, our perfect example in all things, ministered to crowds, attended gatherings, met with the small group of His disciples and the smaller group of Peter, James, and John, yet He also went out alone to pray often and had to stand alone in Gethsemane and through His trial.

Community is a gift from God, but community doesn’t always mean a crowd. Jesus said, “Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them” (Matthew 18:20).

Those of us who tend to aloneness need to be reminded that God made us to need, serve, and interact with others, but those who tend to avoid aloneness need to be reminded that sometimes it is a necessity. Either way we are wired, there are times for community and times for solitude. Sometimes God wants to spend time with us alone and wants us to stand alone with Him, and in those times He will give us the grace to do so.