Parenting Teens

Some time ago I began jotting down some thoughts in regard to parenting teens as a possible post one day. It’s been incubating, because every time I think about posting it, I think I should wait because there will probably be more I’ll think of later. But this isn’t a book: it’s just a blog post, not meant to be exhaustive. So I thought I’d go ahead and share these thoughts.

Let me quick to say, though, that I am no expert, that neither my children nor their parents are perfect, and that there is room for differences of opinions in many areas. But as my boys are 26, 23, and 17 now, these are just some helpful things I’ve learned along the way.

  • Don’t dread the teen years. A wise older mom once told me never to dread any stage, whether the “terrible twos” or the teens or anything in between. If you come into it with negative expectations, that will color everything about it.
  • Don’t “expect” rebellion. Modern media makes teen rebellion sound like a given, and all you can do is hang on and hope for the best. They are journeying toward independence, and that will raise a difference of opinion sometimes, but that does not have to include rebellion and disrespect. .
  • Don’t be afraid of their questions. For many this is a time when they begin to examine what they believe, and, hopefully, when they begin making the truths they have been taught their own rather than just following along parroting what they have heard. Though scary, this can be a good thing as they come out of it stronger and more fully convinced of what and Who they believe in. Don’t be afraid to say, “I’m sorry, I don’t have an answer for that now, but I’ll get back to you on it.” Josh McDowell has some good resources for some of these types of questions.
  • Discipline in early years will carry over, but if you haven’t disciplined well til now, stop and have a frank discussion about how and why things need to change
  • Give them opportunities to try various things, yet keep balanced so as not to over-pressure and over-schedule and have both the teen and his family running ragged. On the other hand, don’t keep pushing one area that you want your teen to excel in (living vicariously through them, perhaps?) if they’re not interested.
  • Listen. Someone once said, “If you want your children to listen to you when they’re 15, you have to listen to them when they’re 5.” Listen without pouncing on things that need attention or things you disagree with. Listen without demeaning.Keep the lines of communication open.
  • Let them begin to handle situations and make decisions so they can gain experience.
  • Encourage service toward others, probably best done at first with you or with school or youth group.
  • A lot of what makes for a good relationship with your teen is built on the relationship you’ve had when they were children. Those foundations of respect and discipline are so important.
  • Don’t think they don’t need you as much. Their needs are different from when they were small, but they still need you.
  • Stress that the Christian life is not just a set of dos and don’ts: let them see the relationship you have with Christ by how you talk about Him and to Him and acknowledge Him through the day.

If you have teens or remember something helpful from your own teen years that your parents did, please share!

This post will be linked to “Works For Me Wednesday,” where you can find a plethora of helpful hints each week at We Are THAT family on Wednesdays, as well as  Women Living Well.

 

The Week In Words

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Welcome to The Week In Words, where we share quotes from the last week’s reading. If something you read this past week  inspired you, caused you to laugh, cry, think, dream, or just resonated with you in some way, please share it with us, attributing it to its source, which can be a book, newspaper, blog, Facebook — anything that you read. More information is here.

From a friend’s Facebook:

God often puts us in situations that are too much for us so that we will learn that no situation is too much for Him. ~ Edward Luther

Sadly, sometimes we don’t look up to Him until we’re overwhelmed, but when we do and find Him faithful and able, hopefully then we begin to seek Him and to lean on Him more in everyday life.

From Lisa‘s sidebar:

God comforts us not to make us comfortable but to make us comforters.” -John Henry Jowett

And from yet another friend’s Facebook:

If I find 10,000 ways something won’t work, I haven’t failed. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward. ~Thomas Edison

That is a great perspective and a good reason not to be discouraged by failure.

I’m almost halfway through Ann Voskamp‘s One Thousand Gifts and have marked several places, but one quote that arrested me the last couple of days opens Chapter Six on page 102:

“Every time you feel in God’s creatures something pleasing and attractive, do not let your attention be arrested by them alone, but, passing them by, transfer your thought to God and say; “Oh my God, if Thy creations are so full of beauty, delight and joy, how infinitely more full of beauty, delight and joy art Thou Thyself, Creator of all!” ~ Nicodemus of the Holy Mountain

I have felt that way even in listening to secular music or viewing beauty in art or words as well as nature — that swell of praise to God for the beauty He has created that reflects Himself.

Then Ann says, on page 106:

I am beset by chronic soul amnesia. I am empty of truth and need the refilling. I need come every day — bend, clutch, and remember — for who can gather the manna but once, hoarding, and store away sustenance in the mind for all of the living?

Chronic soul amnesia — so apt. We can’t gather all the truth we need at once to last us all of our living: we need to come to God daily, gathering the manna for that day’s needs.

If you’ve read anything that particularly spoke to you that you’d like to share, please either list it in the comments below or write a post on your blog and then put the link to that post (not your general blog link) in Mr. Linky below. I do ask that only family-friendly quotes be included. I hope you’ll visit some of the other participants as well and glean some great thoughts to ponder.

And please — feel free to comment even if you don’t have quotes to share!

Laudable Linkage

It’s been a little while since I shared interesting links I’ve seen here and there. Hope you find something of interest!

Rejoice With Those Who Rejoice. Love Jeanne’s honesty here, and the last two paragraphs especially hit home with me. Quote: “Life has been a file in the hand of a loving God, and He has used it to smooth a lot of my rough edges.”

The Saddest Letter I’ve Ever Read was addressed to Cary Schmidt and has some sobering perspectives for parents, written by a young woman raised in Christian home, church, and school: “My point is that the problems that are supposed to be bad kid’s problems belong to us too. Unfortunately, our parents and youth workers don’t know that we struggle with these things and they don’t know what to do with us when they find out.” And then she shares how a parent’s focus on externals rather than the heart results in a child’s focus on externals without a heart relationship to Christ. Dr. Schmidt’s balanced, gracious first general response and second response to parents covered many of the thoughts that sprang to my own mind, and he’s planning a third response to the young woman and her generation. Though as parents we do need to concentrate on the heart and on a relationship with Christ and not just making sure our kids are in the right places, on the other hand, if God can take a child from an unsaved, alcoholic home (me) and show her His truth, I would think that young people surrounded by the truth would get it despite parents’ failings. Every parent will fail in some way because we’re sinners. That’s not an excuse and that doesn’t mean we don’t need to give serious heed to the problems the young lady addresses, but that was just one thought in my mind in addition to the many that Dr. Schmidt addressed.

How To Provoke Your Children to Anger, HT to Challies.

I Am About to Walk the Red Carpet. Love this!

Humble Leadership.

What Is Furlough? Not a vacation, that’s for sure.

13 Phrases to Keep Your Friendships Thriving.

Hat Box Favors. If you’re ever doing a theme for a shower or luncheon or banquet that has anything to do with hats, these are darling favors.

This Rose Cake is just gorgeous (HT to Lizzie). I don’t think I’d ever have the courage to try it. But it is so pretty.

Faux Fingerprint Pendants/Ornaments.

Internet Resources For Writers.

Interesting to watch, though it must have taken all kinds of time:

Happy Saturday!

The edge of the road

One of the joys of living in eastern Tennessee is the view of the Smoky Mountains in the distance. But living so close to the mountains means the terrain here is rather hilly. When we were house-hunting, some homes were ruled out because the driveways were so steeply sloped I would never be able to walk down them and I would even be a little unnerved about driving down them, especially in icy weather.

Roads are also affected by the slope of the land. Several roads here have no shoulders and a steep drop-off — just a few inches in some cases but several feet in others. When I notice that drop-off, I get nervous about the possibility of slipping off the side of the road. But as I look at the edge of the road and the drop-off next to it, an odd thing happens: though I want to avoid that drop-off, I find myself gravitating exactly toward it. It’s only when I get my eyes back on the road and the lines that mark my lane that I’m safe from going over the edge.

I wrestle with fears in other areas of my life as well, some of which affect my health, which then is a source of more fear and anxiety. The more I focus on those issues, the more anxiety they cause and the more distracted I am by them and the more they pull me in, until I am nearly consumed by them. Even praying in that condition is not much help because my focus is still on the possibilities of what might happen. But when I turn from all of those “What ifs” and put my focus back where it belongs, on the God who I know is omniscient, all-powerful, who loves me, has said He knows all my needs and has promised meet them and take care of me — then I am secure in the path He has me on.

We do need to face our fears: if we hide from them, they’ll find us, and if we try to ignore them, they’ll fester. But facing them is one thing: it’s quite another thing to focus on them to the point of distraction, to the point where they actually lead us astray. We need to be aware of the dangers beside the path, but rather than feeding our anxiety, those dangers should only heighten our alertness to keep our eyes on the path ahead.

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith. Hebrews 12:2a.

What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee. Psalm 56:3.

For thus saith the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel; In returning and rest shall ye be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength. Isaiah 30:15a.

_____________________________

I am linking up today to Women Living Well Wednesdays and Women in the Word Wednesdays.

The Week In Words

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Welcome to The Week In Words, where we share quotes from the last week’s reading. If something you read this past week  inspired you, caused you to laugh, cry, think, dream, or just resonated with you in some way, please share it with us, attributing it to its source, which can be a book, newspaper, blog, Facebook — anything that you read. More information is here.

This week, I don’t know anything about any of the people quoted, so I thought it might be wise to say that I am just taking their quotes at face value and not necessarily endorsing everything about them. They may be fine doctrinally and every other way, but I felt maybe I needed to offer that disclaimer.

That said, here are a few quotes that ministered to me this week:

This is from a friend’s Facebook:

“Be master of your petty annoyances and conserve your energies for the big, worthwhile things. It isn’t the mountain ahead that wears you out – it’s the grain of sand in your shoe.” – Robert Service

So very true. So often it’s the little things that get me down or trip me up and waste time and energy needed for better pursuits.

And from a different friend’s Facebook:

If the Lord is stripping us, emptying us, pruning us, and bringing us low; so that we feel weak, empty and void of good — it is in order that he may strengthen us with his might, bring us to rest on his Word, fill us with his own love, and lead us to look for everything in Jesus. ~ James Smith

A good reminder. It’s so easy to focus on the pruning rather than the ultimate purpose.

And yet another Facebook status (I’m fortunate to have friends who post great quotes!):

A love of knowledge and a desire to explore God’s creation through the discipline of science need not alienate us from our Creator; on the contrary, it should draw us closer to Him. –Ken Connor

Having a husband who is a scientist and having read and studied science a bit, I can attest to this. There is a “science falsely so called,” but rightly understood, studying God’s creation glorifies Him.

This is from a section commenting on I Chronicles 16 in Warren Wiersbe’s With the Word:

To worship is to quicken the conscience by the holiness of God, to feed the mind with the truth of God, to purge the imagination by the beauty of God, to open the heart to the love of God, to devote the will to the purpose of God. ~ Archbishop William Temple

I’m still contemplating this one. I think I would agree with it. Worship is definitely far more than going through certain procedures: it has to somehow involve a glimpse of God and a loving, submissive response to Him.

If you’ve read anything that particularly spoke to you that you’d like to share, please either list it in the comments below or write a post on your blog and then put the link to that post (not your general blog link) in Mr. Linky below. I do ask that only family-friendly quotes be included. I hope you’ll visit some of the other participants as well and glean some great thoughts to ponder.

And please — feel free to comment even if you don’t have quotes to share!

Book Review: Living with Purpose in a Worn-out Body: Spiritual Encouragement for Older Adults

When I saw Mocha With Linda mention Living with Purpose in a Worn-out Body: Spiritual Encouragement for Older Adults by Missy Buchanan, I knew I had to get it for my mother-in-law and myself. Missy was a daily caregiver to her mother, who lived to be 92, and now Missy spends much time visiting with other residents in the senior residence center where her mother spent her last days. Her experiences make the  devotionals she began writing for senior adults ring with authenticity.

This book covers several areas: pain, loneliness, feeling forgotten, the treasure of friends, sleep, purpose, clutter, medicine, bingo, laughter, sensible shoes — many aspects of an older person’s life. The devotionals address these issues in a genuine way. Some are poignant, some are fun, but all bring the reader back to focus on God in every issue. Here is a sample:

Sometimes I wonder why you have left me on this earth.
Ia have outlived so many family and friends. Why do I linger?
What purpose could you have for me now?
Look at my hands. Once strong and sure, they are unsteady and frail.
My mind, once quick and incisive, now falters under the weight of names and faces.
What real purpose do I serve knitting away the hours, surfing the channels, dozing through the afternoon?
Then Your Spirit stirs my heart and convicts my soul.
You are not a wasteful God!
The length of my earthly days is a mystery to me, but one thing I know for sure. You have created me with an eternal purpose.
How can I be more like Christ today?
Whose life can I touch with kindness?
Lord, give me an extra measure of grace when I feel that I’m too old to be useful.
Help me as I take my limitations in stride as I search for opportunities to serve you.
My purpose has not withered away with another birthday.
It is rooted in eternity.

Psalm 33:11:
But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever,
the purposes of his heart through all generations.

The text in the book is large print, yet the book as a whole is slim.

I would highly, highly recommend this to any “senior saint” you know as well as family members and caregivers.

(This review will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

Awake, my soul, and with the sun

Folly Beach sunrise

(Photo taken by my husband at Folly Beach in Charleston, SC)

Most of us are very familiar with the last stanza of this, the Doxology, but the rest is quite rich as well:

Awake, my soul, and with the sun
Thy daily stage of duty run;
Shake off dull sloth, and joyful rise,
To pay thy morning sacrifice.

Thy precious time misspent, redeem,
Each present day thy last esteem,
Improve thy talent with due care;
For the great day thyself prepare.

By influence of the Light divine
Let thy own light to others shine.
Reflect all Heaven’s propitious ways
In ardent love, and cheerful praise.

In conversation be sincere;
Keep conscience as the noontide clear;
Think how all seeing God thy ways
And all thy secret thoughts surveys.

All praise to Thee, who safe has kept
And hast refreshed me while I slept
Grant, Lord, when I from death shall wake
I may of endless light partake.

Heav’n is, dear Lord, where’er Thou art,
O never then from me depart;
For to my soul ’tis hell to be
But for one moment void of Thee.

Lord, I my vows to Thee renew;
Disperse my sins as morning dew.
Guard my first springs of thought and will,
And with Thyself my spirit fill.

Direct, control, suggest, this day,
All I design, or do, or say,
That all my powers, with all their might,
In Thy sole glory may unite.

Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye heavenly host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

~ Thomas Ken, Man­u­al of Pray­ers for the Use of the Schol­ars of Win­ches­ter Col­lege, 1674.

(A bit of interesting background information on this hymn can be found here.)

Book Review: 50 People Every Christian Should Know

In the preface to 50 People Every Christian Should Know: Learning From Spiritual Giants of the Faith, author Warren Wiersbe states that he has been greatly helped by reading biographies. “The past is not an anchor to drag us back but a rudder to help guide us into the future.” I love to read biographies as well, and this book included some that were new to me.

I didn’t realize until I received the book that it was compiled from two former books by Wiersbe, Living With the Giants and Victorious Christians You Should Know, which in turn were originally columns in the magazines Moody Monthly and The Good News Broadcaster, which are no longer being published. I am glad these testimonies have been preserved in this book.

Of the 50 (51, actually: one chapter combines two men), I had previously read biographies of six; I knew something about or had read books by about fifteen others, and the rest were new to me except for just a few whose names I had heard. There are four women, a few missionaries, but most are preachers.

Wiersbe gives a brief history of each person as well as suggestions for books by that person or other biographies of them for further reading. Some of the chapters were a little drier to me than others, but often that occurred when I was trying to read too many of them at one time. The stories I already knew were a good refresher, and some of the others were a good springboard toward finding new biographies to read. Though most of the time Wiersbe tried to convey what the person was like rather than just what they did, there were a couple of chapters where I didn’t get that sense of personality. I did appreciate that the individuals were listed in chronological order, so that we could see the effect of the issues of the day or other people on each person.

A couple of the inclusions confused me, though, as Wiersbe said they “did not preach the atonement”: one, in fact, went from a grace-based faith to a works-based religion. I don’t see how such persons could be considered “giants of the faith,” though Wiersbe did say there were things he learned from them.

One of the overall lessons this books left with me was that God can use anybody. These 51 agreed on most core, fundamental doctrines yet were from various denominations, from opposite sides of the Calvinist/Arminian and other controversies, from differing viewpoints on end times and how ministry should be conducted, from widely different personalities and academic tendencies. and yet God used each one. Does that mean none of those issues matters? No, each individual is responsible to  study the issue, the Bible, and in their own conscience before God determine what they believe and how to live it out. But seeing how God used varieties of people helps me to be a little less critical, though I trust no less analytical. We can even learn from the fact that some were gifted in one area but had faults in others, as we are all in the same state.

I marked more passages and quotes than I can possibly share in one post…

But here are a few that stood out to me:

Often, after hearing his father preach, Matthew [Henry] would hurry to his room and pray that God would seal the Word and the spiritual impressions made to his heart so that he might not lose them (p. 25).

An excellent exercise. Perhaps that’s part of what made him the commentator he was.

No place is like my study. No company like good books, especially the book of God. ~ Matthew Henry (p. 27).

My endeavor is to bring out of Scripture what is there and not to trust in what I think might be there ~ Charles Simeon (p. 49.)

Amen. Would that all preachers would so do.

“Tried this morning specially to pray against idols in the shape of my books and studies. These encroach upon my direct communion with God, and need to be watched” ~ Andrew Bonar (p. 77).

Books and studies are helpful but even they can take the wrong place in our hearts and minds.

“I can see a man cannot be a faithful minister, until he preaches Christ for Christ’s sake, until he gives up striving to attract people to himself, and seeks only to attract them to Christ” ~ Robert Murray McCheyne (p. 82).

“To efface one’s self is one of a preacher’s first duties. The herald should be lost in the message” ~Alexander Maclaren (p. 109)

Surprisingly, Maclaren was haunted all his life by a sense of failure. Often he suffered ‘stage fright’ before a service, but in the pulpit he was perfectly controlled. He sometimes spoke of each Sunday’s demands as ‘a woe,’ and he was certain that his sermon was not good enough and that the meeting would be a failure” (p. 109).

Though I am not a preacher, I can identify with those feelings. In fact, I have felt that maybe they were an indication I should not be in the ministries I was in, but I guess that’s not always the case. Similarly, John Henry Jowett wrote of his Yale lectures, which I have heard reference to as a great help by more than one preacher:

The lectures are a nightmare to me, and I am glad of getting rid of them this week! (p. 284).

And later,

Preaching that costs nothing accomplishes nothing (p. 284).

We could say that is true of much service, not just preaching. What the Lord uses in our lives may not always be the incidents where we “feel” spiritual or feel like we’re accomplishing something for Him. This next quote is a help:

“All God’s giants have been weak men, who did great things for God because they reckoned on His being with them” ~ J. Hudson Taylor (p. 133).

“Don’t go about the world with your fist doubled up, carrying a theological revolver in the leg of your trousers.” ~ Charles Spurgeon (p. 143).

I’m smiling because this reminds me of my friend from yesterday’s post. On the other hand,

[Alexander] Whyte was so much of an encourager that he forgot that Christians cannot accept every doctrine men preach, though the men may be fine people (p. 169).

“Fathers and brethren,” Whyte cried, “the world of mind does not stand still! And the theological mind will stand still at its peril.” True. but the theological mind must still depend on the inspired Word of God for truth and direction. Once we lose that anchor, we drift (p. 169).

Religious sentiment, if it is worth anything, must be preceded by religious perception. ~ George Matheson on devotional writing (p. 200).

It is urgently needful that the Christian people of our charge should come to understand that they are not a company of invalids, to be wheeled about, or fed by hand, cosseted, nursed, and comforted, the minister being head physician and nurse — but a garrison in an enemy’s country, every soul of which should have some post of duty, at which he should be prepared to make any sacrifice rather than quit it. ~ F. B. Meyer (p. 216).

“Passion does not compensate for ignorance. ” ~ Samuel Chadwick (p. 249).

“We cannot make up for failure in our devotional life by redoubling energy in service.” ~ W. H. Griffith Thomas (p. 264).

“The Bible never yield itself to indolence.” G. Campbell Morgan (p. 278).

“The ‘soul-saving passion’ as an aim must cease and merge into the passion for Christ, revealing itself in holiness in all human relationships” [Oswald Chambers]. In other words, soul winning is not something we do, it is something we are…and we live for souls because we love Christ (pp. 324-325).

The applause of the crowd is not always the approval of the Lord (p. 370).

Christian leaders must realize that if they suffer from shallowness, the malady will spread throughout their entire organization (p. 370).

When a friend told William Whiting Borden that he was “throwing his life away as a missionary,” William calmly replied, “You have never seen heathenism” (p. 342).

Of Borden, who died at the age of 26 after just starting on the mission field:

Why should such a gifted life be cut short?…”A life abandoned to Christ cannot be cut short” ~ Sherwood Day (p. 345).

I think what he means is that that was what God appointed for him — that amount of time, that mission — and he fulfilled it well and God used him — and still does.

There is a very sweet poem written by Francis Ridley Havergal to Fanny Crosby — I don’t think I had realized they were contemporaries:

Dear blind sister over the sea
An English heart goes forth to thee.
We are linked by a cable of faith and song,
Flashing bright sympathy swift along;
One in the East and one in the West,
Singing for Him whom our souls love best,
“Singing for Jesus,” telling His love,
All the way to our home above.
Where the severing sea, with its restless tide,
Never shall hinder, and never divide.
Sister! what will our meeting be,
When our hearts shall sing and our eyes shall see!

The whole poem/hymn is here.

There were some amusing things in the “My how times have changed” department: D. L. Moody “felt that the bicycle, because of its popularity, was the greatest enemy of the Sabbath” (p. 291). I wonder, 100 years from now, what things people will shake their heads at in wonder that we thought “worldly.”

I imagine some of you who read here regularly will be glad to see this one done — it’s been appearing on my Nightstand posts for months. 🙂 It was neither hard nor tedious to read: it’s just best read a bit at a time rather than plowing straight through. With 50 chapters you could easily take one a week and finish it in a year — or one a day and finish it in a couple of months. Either of those or something between would give you a rich variety of people to learn from.

Though there were some names missing I would have liked to have seen here — Jim Elliot, Jonathan and Rosalind Goforth, J. O. Fraser, Henry Ward Beecher, Martyn-Lloyd Jones (he is referred to a few times), J. Oswald Sanders, Isobel Kuhn — I do understand that every author and book has its limits. 🙂 Overall I enjoyed the book very much.

I’ll close with something William Borden wrote in his notebook in college, something that many of these would echo:

“Lord Jesus, I take hands off, as far as my life is concerned. I put Thee on the throne in my heart. Change, cleanse, use me as Thou shalt choose. I take the full power of Thy Holy Spirit. I thank Thee.” Then he added this revealing sentence: “May never know a tithe of the result until Morning” (p. 345).

(This review will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday review of books.)

Where is the grace?

My husband and I are not football fans, so we didn’t watch the Super Bowl. I only vaguely knew who was playing just from hearing it discussed by others. But a couple of events related to the Super Bowl have saddened and frustrated me this week.

One had to do with this commercial. It was rejected from being played during the Super Bowl, but news of its rejection spread around the Internet.

I’m not surprised that it was rejected, though it does make me sad that beer commercials and suggestive music are okay while the merest mention of a Bible verse is not.

But what particularly bothered me was one friend’s reaction to the web site the commercial referred to. He complained publicly about it, saying it didn’t emphasize sin and repentance.

Now, I know where he is coming from, and I do agree that a watered-down gospel that glosses over sin saves no one. If people don’t realize they are sinners, they don’t understand their need for salvation. And a quick, “You agree nobody’s perfect, right?” is hardly repentance. I think the shallowness that many lament in some aspects of modern Christianity stems from this lack of depth in understanding true sin and its offense to a holy God.

On the other hand, this site does mention wrongs done to God and man and the need for justice and the problem that creates for all of us who have done wrong. It doesn’t use the word “sin,” but it conveys the essence of it. The commercial is obviously aimed at people who don’t know anything about what John 3:16 is, much less what it means, and who may not even be familar with the word “sin” in a Biblical sense. The site is a very basic introductory explanation ending with an invitation to read the gospel of John. And, as my husband said, that can’t be a bad thing!

Look at the way Christ dealt with the woman at the well. He never mentioned the word “sin,” but He did put His finger on exactly her particular problem. And even then he didn’t bash her over the head with it. There were other times He did speak of sin directly, of course. There were other times He was harsher in His approach, particularly with the Pharisees who were familiar with the word of God and should have known better.

Jude says, “And of some have compassion, making a difference: And others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire; hating even the garment spotted by the flesh.” Every presentation of the gospel does not have to be a fiery showdown a la Elijah on Mt. Carmel. There are times that kind of stand needs to be taken, but there are other times a gentle compassionate approach is needed. Walking closely with the Lord and being filled with and led by His Spirit will enable us to have the right approach at the right time, for only God knows what a particular person needs at a particular time.

And at least these people are doing something to try to get people to God’s word to find out more, which is more than many of us can say.

Paul said, “Notwithstanding, every way, whether in pretence, or in truth, Christ is preached; and I therein do rejoice, yea, and will rejoice.” I choose to rejoice, as well, that the gospel was introduced to many and pray they will be led to fuller understanding and true salvation.

The other incident that frustrated me was the reaction Christina Aguilera’s flubbing the National Anthem. Now, let me be quick to say I am not a fan of much pop music and I would not let my children listen to sexually suggestive music. I was flipping through TV stations one day and saw a bit of one of her music videos. I had heard the name and watched a few moments to see what she was all about — and was stunned that so many parents would let their kids watch something so overtly sexual. On the other hand, I don’t think attacking her as if she subversively messed up a couple of lines of the “Star-Spangled Banner” on purpose is justified. I want to say to these people, “Have YOU ever sung or spoken in front of people and flubbed the words?!” Where is the grace, people? Though defending the National anthem is not in itself a Christian issue, and though other people besides Christians have attacked her, I think Christian people should be the most gracious of all. If we were to have run into her personally after the game, assuming any of us could get close to her, which would probably be impossible, but, still, if we could talk to her, a hand on the shoulder and a compassionate, “Oh, I’m so sorry that happened to you. I’m sure I would do far worse if I were trying to sing in front of so many people” would be more likely to open a door of further conversation and possible witness than lambasting her, don’t you think?

Let’s “Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time. Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man” (Colossians 4:5-6).

Testimonies at Marriage Monday

 

E-Mom at Chrysalis hosts a Marriage Monday every month and this month the topic is our testimonies.  I wrote mine previously here and invite you there to read further.