Repost: The Back Burner

Posted on January 29, 2015 by Barbara Harper

I’ve had some other obligations this week that have taken much of my computer time: I’ve been thinking about and working on some other posts, but they need to incubate a while longer. Meanwhile, this morning this post came back to mind, and I thought I’d share it again. Sometimes I chafe that there are still things on the back burner that I thought I’d be able to get to when my children got older. I have to accept that the circumstances God has me in are His will for me now, and if those other desires are truly from Him, He’ll make a way for them in His time. So even though the major thrust of this article has to do with parenting, it applies in any area where God wants us to wait on His timing.

This is one of the few articles I’ve had published. It appeared in Frontline magazine’s July-August 2005 issue. I wrote to Frontline asking permission to reprint the article here in January of 2008, which they granted: I am going to assume that permission extends to this repost as well.

The Back Burner

Every mother, particularly one who has very small children, can get discouraged sometimes. Even though a woman has looked forward to being a mother all her life and delights in her child, there are those days when she feels she is accomplishing nothing beyond wiping noses and changing diapers, when she feels her mind is turning to mush after reading Dr. Seuss and Curious George all day, when she longs to do something “important.” Certain intellectual and creative pursuits have to be put on the back burner because there are only so many hours in the day. Even some ministry opportunities have to wait until the children are a bit older. It is easy to lament what we can’t do.

Of course, young mothers are not the only ones who have to put things on the back burner. Newlyweds, new teachers, students, young singles getting started in a career, middle-aged children taking care of an elderly parent, and any number of other life situations will cause us to have to focus on the business at hand and delay other pursuits. But motherhood is the area through which the Lord taught me about the back burner.

Some 15-20 years ago I read something in a secular women’s magazine that greatly encouraged me and has stayed with me ever since. Unfortunately, I can’t remember even what magazine it was, much less what author. The writer was talking those things that have to be put on the back burner. But, she wrote, what is usually on the back burner when we are cooking? Isn’t it something that has to simmer awhile, that is all the richer in flavor for the time it spent there on the back burner? The meat gets tender, the flavors blend, the smell wafts though the house, and we can hardly wait until dinnertime.

Oh, dear mother….what you are doing is vitally important. Your little one may not remember the specific things you did together or all your loving care in their early childhood, but those loving ministrations laid the foundation for your future relationship. The time you spend together reading, playing, rocking, feeding, nurturing a new little life that God has given to you to care for is precious.

As the children get older, their need of your care is still vital, though it is different from when they were small. Instead of feeling isolated at home, you may feel you are nearly living out of your car with all the places you have to take your children to. We have to keep a balance between giving them opportunities and spreading everyone too thin, but some of those times in the car can be precious as well. One of my sons does not open up to me if I sit across the table from him and ask him how things are going in his life, but a casual conversation or observation made while we are out and about can give me glimpses into his heart. Sometimes children feel a little freer to open up while we’re driving.

Someone once said, “With children, the days are long, but the years are short.” That is all too true. You have heard it before, but they do grow up so fast. You always have a ministry with them and an influence on them, but your main years of training them are when they are little. Redeem the time and enjoy it to the hilt.

Don’t worry about those things on the back burner. Give them a stir every now and then. Perhaps you can skim over the newspaper headlines or watch some of the evening news with your husband, or spend 15 minutes or so a day reading a good book to stimulate your mind. Buy a craft kit, take a class, jot down story ideas, or somehow “stir the pot” of whatever your areas of interest are. Take advantage of opportunities to get together with other ladies for fellowship. Explore what ministry opportunities you can within the constraints of your situation, but remember that ministry doesn’t only take place within the four walls of the church: getting to know your neighbor, inviting another mother from the baseball league to church, baby-sitting for another mother for a doctor’s appointment, giving a tract to the repairman are all outlets through which the Lord can use you as well as being an example to your children.

Then, as you stir those things on the back burner from time to time, perhaps you can take a small taste to test the readiness of it. After all, if you start to write the next great novel, and find the timing still isn’t right, you can let it simmer a little longer.

Don’t get discouraged if other women seem to have all their burners going at once, accomplishing things right and left. I used to lament that I couldn’t do as much as some other ladies til I finally had to come to grips with the fact that God made us with different capacities, abilities, and personalities.

Ultimately we have to entrust those back burner issues to our loving Lord and ask His guidance as to when and how to proceed with them. There may be some things He wants us to relinquish completely, and here our back burner analogy breaks down: there are some things He never intended for us to pursue, and we have to set aside what was a personal desire that was not His will. We have to remind ourselves that, no matter how strong and even good a desire was, if it is not God’s will, it would not have been good for us and may actually have been harmful and taken away from what He did have for us to do. On the other hand, we can’t let the back burner become a place of excuses and, due to laziness or fear, place things there that the Lord does want us to pursue now. How can we know the difference? By walking with him day by day, seeking His guidance, asking Him to open doors He wants open and close doors He wants closed. When it is His timing to finally serve one of those “back burner” dishes, it will indeed be “just right.”

Who Is He?

Posted on December 14, 2014 by Barbara Harper

Who is He in yonder stall
At Whose feet the shepherds fall?
Who is He in deep distress,
Fasting in the wilderness?

Refrain:

’Tis the Lord! O wondrous story!
’Tis the Lord! the King of glory!
At His feet we humbly fall,
Crown Him! crown Him, Lord of all!

Who is He the people bless
For His words of gentleness?
Who is He to Whom they bring
All the sick and sorrowing?

Refrain

Who is He that stands and weeps
At the grave where Lazarus sleeps?
Who is He the gathering throng
Greet with loud triumphant song?

Refrain

Lo! at midnight, who is He
Prays in dark Gethsemane?
Who is He on yonder tree
Dies in grief and agony?

Refrain

Who is He that from the grave
Comes to heal and help and save?
Who is He that from His throne
Rules through all the world alone?

’Tis the Lord! O wondrous story!
’Tis the Lord! the King of glory!
At His feet we humbly fall,
Crown Him! crown Him, Lord of all!

~ Benjamin R. Hanby, 1866

31 Days of Inspirational Biographies: Rosalind Goforth Learns Submission

Posted on October 25, 2014 by Barbara Harper

I mentioned in yesterday’s post a little book by missionary Rosalind Goforth called Climbing, one of my all-time favorites. She and her husband were missionaries to China from1888-1936. She had written his biography, and then by request wrote Climbing about missionary life and furlough from her perspective. I think one thing missionaries would want us to know is that they are not “super-Christians,” but rather people “of like passions” as we are, and this humorous incident in Rosalind’s life illustrates not only that but also the importance of being consistently in God’s Word so it can speak to you.

The following is the most notable incident connected with this habit of memorizing Scripture. I give it, for, judging by the effect it has had upon men and women to whom I have told this story, it touches a vital point in the relation of husband and wife. It certainly brought to my husband and myself a lesson never forgotten.

Our children were all away at school. We were together carrying on aggressive evangelism at a distant out-station. The room given to us was dark and damp, with the usual mud floor. The weather, had turned cold, and there was no place where one could get warm. I caught a cold. It was not a severe one, but enough to make me rather miserable. The third or fourth day, when the meetings were in full swing and my organ was taking an attracting part, I became possessed by a great longing to visit my dearly loved friend, Miss H., living at the Weihuifu Station, some hours run south on the railway. But when I told my husband what I had in mind, he strongly objected and urged against my going. I would not listen, even when he said my going would break up at least the women’s work. But I was determined to go and ordered the cart for the trip to the railway. As the cart started and I saw my husband’s sad, disappointed, white face, I would have stopped, but I wanted to show him I must have my way sometimes!

Oh, what a miserable time I had till my friend’s home in Weihuifu was reached! Miss H. gave one glance at my face and exclaimed: “Whatever is the matter, Mrs. Goforth! Are you ill?”

My only answer was to break down sobbing. Of course I could not tell her WHY. Miss H. insisted on putting me to bed, saying I was ill! She made me promise to remain there until after breakfast.

The following morning, while waiting for breakfast, I opened my Testament and started to memorize, as usual, my three verses. Now it happened I was at that time memorizing the Epistle to the Ephesians and had reached the fifth chapter down to the twenty-first verse. The twenty-second, the first of the three to be memorized that morning, read: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands as unto the Lord.” I was, to say at the least, startled! Somehow I managed to get this bravely memorized. Then going on to the twenty-third verse, these words faced me: “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the Saviour of the body.”

For a moment a feeling of resentment, even anger, arose. I could not treat this word as a woman once did, putting it aside with the remark: “That is where Paul and I differ.” I believed the Epistle to the Ephesians was inspired, if any portion of Scripture was. How could I dare cut out this one part to which I was unwilling to submit? How I managed to memorize that twenty-third verse I do not know, for all the while a desperate mental struggle was on. Then came the twenty-fourth verse: “Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.”

I could not memorize further: my mind was too agitated. “It just comes to this,” I thought, “Am I willing, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE, to submit my will (in all but matters of conscience) to my husband?” The struggle was short but intense. At last I cried, “For CHRIST’s sake, I yield!” Throwing a dressing gown about me, I ran to the top of the stairs and called to my friend, “When does the next train go?”

“In about half an hour,” she replied, “but you couldn’t catch it and have your breakfast.”

“Never mind; I’m going to get that train!”

My friend insisted on accompanying me to the station; we ate as we almost ran. With what joy I at last found myself traveling northward!

On reaching my destination, imagine my surprise to find my husband, with a happy twinkle in his eye, standing on the platform!

“Why, Jonathan,” I cried, “how did you know I was coming?”

His reply was simply a happy, “Oh, I knew you would come.”

Later I told my husband frankly all I had passed through. What was the result? From that time, he gave me my way as never before, for does not verse 25 of the chapter quoted go on to say: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” A new realization of the need of yieldedness came to us both, which brought blessed results in our home life.

I don’t think she is saying at the end that her little adventure “paid off,” but rather that God used the incident and their conversation together to open both their eyes to each other’s needs.

Though I am sure it wasn’t funny at the time, I always find this story humorous and I am glad she “told on” herself in her book. But beyond the incident itself, it shows how the Lord can guide and correct us when we are regularly in His Word.

(You can find this book on sale at Amazon and various places, but the text is also online here.)

For the 31 Days writing challenge, I am sharing 31 Days of Inspirational Biography. You can find others in the series here.

31 Days of Inspirational Biography: Mrs. C. H. Spurgeon

Posted on October 23, 2014 by Barbara Harper

Some years ago a friend mentioned that she had never read anything by C. H. Spurgeon because she thought his writings would be over her head. Her husband, a student in Bible college at the time, assured her that would not be the case, so she began to read some of his books. She was happily surprised to find that he was very readable and down to earth. Her remarks intrigued me because I had felt the same way about Spurgeon. I began to read some of his books and made the same happy discovery myself.*

Some years after that I came across a biography of his wife titled Mrs. C. H. Spurgeon by Charles Ray. It is out of print, but used copies are available online, and it looks like the text is online here. Originally published in 1905, the language is very old-fashioned to modern ears, but it is easily readable and gives a sweet picture of a godly lady well suited to her husband as well as glimpses of their home life.

Susannah wasn’t impressed by Spurgeon at first, though. She had believed on the Lord Jesus Christ but was in a state of coldness and indifference when she first heard him speak as a guest at her church. She had heard good things about him, but she was shocked at his youth and “countrified” manner. She wrote later:

“Ah! how little I then thought that my eyes looked on him who was to be my life’s beloved; how little I dreamed of the honor God was preparing for me in the near future! It is a mercy that our lives are not left for us to plan, but that our Father chooses for us; else might we sometimes turn away from our best blessings, and put from us the choicest and loveliest gifts of His providence. For, if the whole truth be told, I was not at all fascinated by the young orator’s eloquence, while his countrified manner and speech excited more regret than reverence. Alas, for my vain and foolish heart! I was not spiritually-minded enough to understand his earnest presentation of the Gospel and his powerful pleading with sinners; – but the huge, black satin stock, the long badly-trimmed hair, and the blue pocket handkerchief with white spots which he himself has so graphically described, – these attracted most of my attention and I fear awakened some feelings of amusement.”

He was called to be her pastor, and she kept going to hear him. Eventually she changed her mind not only about him, but about the spiritual state of her own heart.

Not many months later they were with a large group of friends watching the opening of the Crystal Palace, he pointed out a passage in a book he was reading and asked her what she thought. The title of the passage was “On Marriage,” and the quote:

“‘Seek a good wife of thy God, for she is the best gift of His providence; Yet ask not in bold confidence that which He hath not promised: Thou knowest not His good will; be thy prayer then submissive thereunto; And leave thy petition to His mercy assured that He will deal well with thee. If thou art to have a wife of thy youth, she is now living on the earth; Therefore think of her and pray for her well!’

“‘Do you pray for him who is to be your husband?’ said a soft, low voice in my ear, – so soft that no one else heard the whisper. I do not remember that the question received any vocal answer; but my fast-beating heart, which sent a tell-tale flush to my cheeks, and my downcast eyes, which feared to reveal the light which at once dawned in them, may have spoken a language which love understood. From that moment a very quiet and subdued little maiden sat by the young Pastor’s side, and while the brilliant procession passed round the Palace, I do not think she took so much note of the glittering pageant defiling before her, as of the crowd of newly-awakened emotions which were palpitating within her heart.”

She did have to learn how to share her husband with an adoring public and how to encourage him when public sentiment turned against him, how to respond well when he was sometimes distracted or busy with sermon preparations and other duties.

They had twin sons, Charles and Thomas. Susannah never regained her strength and at times was pretty much an invalid, unable to go with Spurgeon to his speaking engagements. In one sweet testimony of one of her sons, he said,

“I trace my early conversion directly to her earnest pleading and bright example. She … taught me to sing, but to mean it first, – ‘I do believe, I will believe, That Jesus died for me; That, on the cross, He shed His blood From sin to set me free.’ My dear brother was brought to Christ through the pointed word of a missionary; but he, too, gladly owns that mother’s influence and teaching had their part in the matter. By these, the soil was made ready for a later sowing.”

One of her major ministries was a book fund for preachers. It came about this way:

Incredible as it may seem, the state of things revealed when the Book Fund was started was so bad that many ministers had been unable to buy a new book for ten years. “Does anybody wonder if preachers are sometimes dull?” was C. H. Spurgeon’s comment on this fact. Like most other important works, the Book Fund grew from a very simple beginning, and there was no idea at the first of the wonderful way in which the movement would develop. In the summer of 1875 Mr. Spurgeon completed the first volume of his “Lectures to my Students,” and, having given a proof copy to his wife, asked her what she thought of the book. “I wish I could place it in the hands of every minister in England,” was the reply, and the preacher at once rejoined, “Then why not do so: how much will you give?” This was driving the nail home with a vengeance. Mrs. Spurgeon was not prepared for such a challenge, but she began to wonder if she could not spare the money from her housekeeping or personal account. It would necessitate pressure somewhere, she knew, for money was not plentiful just then. Suddenly a flash of memory made the whole way clear. “Upstairs in a little drawer were some carefully hoarded crown pieces, which, owing to some foolish fancy, I had been gathering for years whenever chance threw one in my way; these I now counted out and found they made a sum exactly sufficient to pay for one hundred copies of the work. If a twinge of regret at parting from my cherished but unwieldy favorites passed over me, it was gone in an instant, and then they were given freely and thankfully to the Lord, and in that moment, though I knew it not, the Book Fund was inaugurated.

In the next edition of his publication of The Sword and the Trowel, Spurgeon mentioned the need, and people began to send in both donations and used books (the latter not always of use to preachers, though, like French Grammar and Exercises).

She was also a skilled writer and wrote a variety of things in her later years, including a biography of her husband.

One delight in this book are the many excerpts of letters between the Spurgeons. Here are a few:

“God bless you,” wrote the husband on one occasion [when he had to travel for rest}, “and help you to bear my absence. Better that I should be away well, than at home suffering – better to your loving heart, I know. Do not fancy, even for a moment, that absence could make our hearts colder to each other; our attachment is now a perfect union, indissoluble for ever. My sense of your value and experience of your goodness are now united to the deep passion of love which was there at the first alone. Every year casts out another anchor to hold me even more firmly to you, though none was needed even from the first. May my own Lord, whose chastening hand has necessitated this absence, give you a secret inward recompense in soul and also another recompense in the healing of the body! All my heart remains; in your keeping.”

“I had two such precious letters from you this morning, worth to me far more than all the gems of ancient or modern art. The material of which they, are composed is their main value, though there is also no mean skill revealed in its manipulation. They are pure as alabaster, far more precious than porphyry or verd antique; no mention shall be made of malachite or onyx, for love, surpasses them all.”

Charles Haddon Spurgeon looked upon the writing of these letters as more than a loving duty to, his wife. Knowing how pressed he was with other correspondence that had to be attended to, and with literary work, she often used to urge him to write less often to her, so as to get more rest for himself, but this he would not hear of, and except when taking a long railway journey, he used to write a letter to his wife every day that he was absent from her. “Every word I write,” he says in one note, “is a pleasure to me, as much as ever it can be to you; it is only a lot of odds and ends I send you, but I put them down as they come, so that you may see it costs me no labor, but is just a happy scribble. Don’t fret because I write you so many letters; it is such a pleasure to tell out my joy.”

At another time, when sending some pen and ink sketches which he had made of the women’s head-dresses in Italy, he writes, “Now, sweetheart, may these trifles amuse you; I count it a holy work to draw them, if they cause you but one happy smile.”

This note seems to sum up his estimation of her value to him.

“None know how grateful I am to God for you. In all I have ever done for Him you have a large share, for in making me so happy you have fitted me for service. Not an ounce of power has ever been lost to the good cause through you. I have served the Lord far more and never less for your sweet companionship”

For the 31 Days writing challenge, I am sharing 31 Days of Inspirational Biography. You can find others in the series here.

* Though I have benefited very much from reading Spurgeon, I am not a Calvinist, so would differ from him on some of those points.

(This will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

31 Days of Inspirational Biography: Margaret Baxter, Puritan Wife Of Like Passions As We Are

Posted on October 22, 2014 by Barbara Harper

A few years ago I reviewed In Trouble and In Joy by Sharon James, which features four different women of God: Margaret Baxter, Sarah Edwards, Anne Steele, and Frances Ridley Havergal. Of Margaret Baxter I wrote:

Margaret Baxter was a rebellious, glamorous, well-to-do teen-ager who became a Christian under the preaching of her Puritan pastor, Richard Baxter. Though he was twice her age, Margaret fell in love with him, and in time her feelings were reciprocated, and they married. The union was a step down for Margaret socially and financially (Richard took care to arrange their finances in such a way that he did not have access to her money so it would not be thought he married her for her money), but she had found her purpose in life and blossomed. This was a time when “Non-conformists” were persecuted, and when Richard was imprisoned for a while, Margaret voluntarily joined him. Both were, like all the rest of us, very human. Margaret was known for being generous, cheerful (Mrs. James notes, “It is simply not true that the Puritans went around looking miserable. Indeed, Richard Baxter wrote, “Keep company with the more cheerful sort of the godly; there is no mirth like the mirth of believers” [p. 49]), industrious, competent, capable, patient, supportive — and anxious, fearful, perfectionist, and over-zealous. Yet she was aware of and grieved by her faults, and it was her desire to live a holy life for God.

In the July/August 2002 issue of Frontline Magazine is an article by my former pastor, Dr. Mark Minnick, titled “’Dear Companion’ — A Husband’s Loving Tribute” about Richard Baxter’s now out-of-print book about his wife, A Breviate of the Life of Margaret, which appears to be online here. Richard Baxter was perhaps one of the better known Puritan preachers and writers. The Baxters lived in the 1600s. He was 47 and she was 26 when they married. One of their earliest marital adjustments was that he thought “so much ado about cleanliness and trifles” and keeping “stairs and rooms…as clean as dishes” was a “sinful eccentricity.” He did change his mind, however, and “left [such things] to her discretion.”

He writes of her “utter selflessness,” her charitable acts, her cheerfulness in hard times, her desire for the conversion of others, and many other aspects of her life. But the one thing I want to focus on in this short space is her fears. She was naturally “of too timorous and tender a nature,” and Baxter writes that her “diseased fearfulness” was “the great infirmity which tyrannized over her…against which she had little…free will or power.” “’Anything that had suddenness, noise, or fierceness in it’ upset her.” Dr. Minnick remarks that there may have been very good reason Margaret was this way: “Nearly her entire life was shot through with calamity. Her home had been stormed by soldiers when she was just a girl…plundered…and set on fire, [they] killed some of the household, and then stripped the very clothing from those they spared.“ She had nearly died from one illness; “there had been fires near her lodgings, the near collapse of the floor of an upper gallery…while Baxter was preaching” once; her mother’s death, her husband’s illnesses, dreams of “fires and murders.”

“For our encouragement and learning, this natural timidity displays that Margaret’s fearlessness before persecution was not simply the courage of a bold spirit. It was, Baxter wrote, ‘an evidence of the power of grace that so timorous a person…was more fearless of persecution, imprisonment, or losses and poverty thereby, than I or any that I remember to have known’” (emphases mine). She was a woman “of like passions” as we are, yet God’s grace strengthened her and caused her to triumph.

“Her husband’s troubles, care of the poor, and conscientious life all cost [her] dearly… Baxter reflected that perhaps her conscientious intensity contributed to her untimely death [after just nineteen years of marriage]. ‘She set her head and heart so intensely upon doing good that her head and heart would hardly bear it. Her knife was too keen,’ he observed, ‘and cut the sheath.’”

For the 31 Days writing challenge, I am sharing 31 Days of Inspirational Biography. You can find others in the series here.

31 Days of Inspirational Biography: Ann Judson, Brave and Faithful

Posted on October 21, 2014 by Barbara Harper

Every missionary has to have dedication and has to be willing to make sacrifices, even in our day. But the amount of dedication and sacrifice and willingness to step into the unknown displayed by Adoniram and his wife and the small group who stepped out with them just amazes me. His wife, Ann Hassletine (also called Nancy) is one of the bravest women I have ever read of, going into the great unknown as she did and facing all that she did in later years. The letter Adoniram wrote to ask her father for her hand in marriage in July of 1810 is an atypical proposal, but frank:

I have not to ask, whether you can consent to part with your daughter early next Spring, to see her no more in this world; whether you can consent to her departure, and her subjection to the hardships and sufferings of missionary life; whether you can consent to her exposure to the dangers of the ocean; to the fatal influence of the climate of India; to every kind of want and distress; to degradation, insult, persecution, and perhaps a violent death. Can you consent to all this, for the sake of Him who left His heavenly home and died for her and for you; for the sake of perishing immortal souls, for the sake of Zion, and the glory of God?

He was not being melodramatic: he was being realistic. It says a lot about Nancy that she accepted such a proposal, especially as it was written only a month after they had met. It took her two months to respond.

Adoniram and Ann were among the first missionaries that we know of that America sent out. I wrote about Adoniram’s biography, To the Golden Shore, last year, but this time I want to focus on Ann.

Ann had come to saving faith in Christ as a teenager, and since that time had developed a strong sense of reverence and dedication to God and a desire to be useful in His service. She would not have taken such an offer as Adoniram’s lightly. She consented and married him more than a year later.

Theirs is one of the most fascinating and, in many ways, heartbreaking stories in Christendom. They sailed for India with a few others. They left as Congregationalists, but during their months at sea their study of baptism in Scripture led them to become Baptists. This step of what they felt was obedience was also a step of faith, as it meant they would no longer be supported by the Congregationalists. Whatever your feelings about modes of baptism and denominations, it says a lot about their character that they would follow through with what they believed to be right as a matter of conscience even though it would cost them in many ways.

Through a variety of circumstances too long to tell here, they ended up in Burma (now known as Myanmar) rather than India. During they voyage Ann had delivered a baby which died and was buried at sea. They labored for six years without a convert and worked on translating the Bible into the native language. Within a year after that first convert, they had baptized 18 Christians. Ann opened a school for women and children. Another son was born and died.

Adoniram was imprisoned for a year and a half due to circumstances too long and detailed to go into here, but involved the Burmese misunderstanding of Adoniram’s banking situation, and they thought they money he was receiving for support from the British, with whom they were at war, meant he was a spy. Ann faithfully visited, bribed the guard so she could see Adoniram, brought him food and encouragement, smuggled his Bible translation work to him a hard pillow, repeatedly appealed for his release, and did what she could to relieve the suffering of the other prisoners as well. When Adoniram and other prisoners were forced to walk barefoot 8 miles to another prison, Ann took her baby daughter and followed. She wrote to her brother around this time, “But the consolation of religion, in these trying circumstances, were neither ‘ few nor small!’ It taught me to look beyond this world, to that rest, . . . where Jesus reigns and oppression never enters.” She fell severely ill with smallpox and spotted fever, and Adoniram was able to nurse her back to health when he got out, though she remained weak. Some time later she contracted another fever she could not fight off. She died at the age of 36, and her baby daughter died soon after.

She had wanted to be “useful,” and God certainly did use her throughout her life and since. After her death God worked through a book she had written about the early mission work in Burma to inspire interest in missions. He works through her biographies today to encourage us to a closer walk with God and closer dedication to Him. To the Golden Shore naturally has much about her as well as Adoniram, and My Heart In His Hands: Ann Judson of Burma by Sharon James tells Ann’s life story primarily through her journals and letters. Unfortunately it is not in print, but used copies can be found for just a few dollars (somebody needs to work on getting some of these books on Kindle!) Some years ago I read The Three Mrs. Judsons by Cecil Hartley, but I don’t remember much about it. It is available online here. In looking for that one I came across Lives of the Three Mrs. Judsons by Arabella Stuart that is free for the Kindle: I haven’t read it but just ordered it. It is also available online here.

The title from Sharon’s book comes from a journal entry of Ann’s after she accepted Mr. Judson’s proposal:

If nothing in providence appears to prevent, I must spend my days in a heathen land. I am a creature of God, and he has an undoubted right to do with me, as seems good in his sight… He has my heart in his hands, and when I am called to face danger, to pass through scenes of terror and distress, he can inspire me with fortitude, and enable me to trust in him. Jesus is faithful; his promises are precious. Were it not for these considerations, I should sink down with despair…But whether I send my days in India or America, I desire to spend them in the service of God, and be prepared to spend an eternity in his presence. O Jesus, make me to live to thee, and I desire no more.

For the 31 Days writing challenge, I am sharing 31 Days of Inspirational Biography. You can find others in the series here.

31 Days of Inspirational Biography: Sarah Edwards As a Mother

Posted on October 16, 2014 by Barbara Harper

Yesterday I wrote about the marriage of Jonathan and Sarah Edwards from the book Marriage to a Difficult Man by Elisabeth M. Dodds. As I mentioned then, the writer doesn’t mean that Mr. Edwards was “difficult” in the sense of being hard to get along with: she classifies him as a genius (which she feels made him misunderstood by some) but also lacking somewhat in social skills and willing to strongly preach unvarnished truth, which some would have trouble accepting. It is written from a historical viewpoint, so there are all sorts of neat little tidbits about life in that time. In fact, I am fairly sure that the writer is not saved and is writing from a historical interest rather than a Christian one, yet she still conveys the truth of Edward’s beliefs.

Today I want to just focus on a few passages about Sarah as a mother. She had 11 children, which was not unusual for the 1700’s: but what was unusual for the times was that they all lived past childhood. “Every account of the Edwards house has the same ring. All visitors seem to have been impressed that eleven children managed to be lively and individual as personalities, yet could act courteously with one another and function as a coordinated unit…[Sarah’s] way was not at all permissive. The requirements were completely clear. But she at the same time allowed the children areas of flexibility that were unusual for that day.” “A curious feature about the Edwards children is that this firmness did not squash individuality.”

The following four paragraphs are observations of Samuel Hopkins, one of many houseguests of the Edwards’, who lived with them for several months:

She had an excellent way of governing her children; she knew how to make them regard and obey her cheerfully, without loud angry words, much less heavy blows. She seldom punished them; and in speaking to them, used gentle and pleasant words. If any correction was necessary, she did not administer it in a passion; and when she had occasion to reprove and rebuke she would do it in a few words, without warmth and noise…In her directions in matters of importance, she would address herself to the reason of her children, that they might not only know her…will, but at the same time be convinced of the reasonableness of it. She had need to speak but once; she was cheerfully obeyed; murmuring and answering again was not know among them.

In their manners they were uncommonly respectful to their parents. When their parents came into the room they all rose instinctively from their seats and never resumed them until their parents were seated; and when either parent was speaking…they were all immediately silent and attentive. The kind and gentle treatment they received from their mother, while she strictly and punctiliously maintained her parental authority, seemed naturally to…promote a filial respect and affection, and to lead them to a mild tender treatment of each other. Quarreling and contention…were in her family unknown.

She carefully observed the first appearance of resentment and ill will in her young children, towards any person whatever, and did not connive at it…but was careful to show her displeasure and suppress it to the utmost; yet not by angry, wrathful words, which often provoke children to wrath…Her system of discipline was begun at a very early age and it was her rule to resist the first, as a well as every subsequent exhibition of temper or disobedience in the child…wisely reflecting that until a child will obey his parents he can never be brought to obey God.

For [her children] she constantly and earnestly prayed and bore them on her heart before God…and that even before they were born.

“The management of a large busy household took leadership and efficiency. Mothers then had to be administrators, because the food and clothing depended on the mother’s ability to produce it. Sarah had to learn to assign chores…Children then had the advantage of knowing that their chores were indispensable.”

“The Edwardses saw that the children learned to be orderly about money…[Sarah] herself took care to save anything of trifling value, or directed her children…to do so, or when she saw them waste any thing, she would repeat the words of our Savior — ‘THAT NOTHING BE LOST.'” (emphasis the author’s.) Edwards himself wrote sermons on the backs of shopping lists. Paper was precious in those days.

“The Edwardses made it a point to single out individual children from the humming family hive, to get to know each one in turn by himself.”

“Sarah’s way with their children did more than shield [him] from the hullabaloo while he studied…[He] poured his feelings about this in sermons which eventually appeared as a book, Christian Love as Manifested in the Heart and Life,” which I have not yet read.

I am sure the Edwards weren’t perfect and wouldn’t claim to be. Modern biographies tend to show “warts and all” to provide a more real picture of the subject, whereas older biographies did not want to appear unkind or gossipy. In addition, most of the author’s material came through others, as Sarah was not much of a letter-writer and was too busy to keep a journal, and those sources probably did not know or were too kind to spread their faults. Mrs. Dodds does not present them as perfect: she claims they were both very complex individuals. So I think we can assume that all was not idyllic and there was an occasional misunderstanding or cross word, but we can still take inspiration from their walk with God knowing that though they were sinners just like we are, God gave them grace and wisdom in their marriage and the raising of their family.

I mentioned yesterday that the book was out of print, but used copies were available online. I did just find what appears to be a free audio version of the book here. The audio quality is not great – but it’s free. 🙂

For the 31 Days writing challenge, I am sharing 31 Days of Inspirational Biography. You can find others in the series here.

31 Days of Inspirational Biography: The “Uncommon Union” of Jonathan and Sarah Edwards

Posted on October 15, 2014 by Barbara Harper

Marriage to a Difficult Man by Elisabeth D. Dodds is a story of what Jonathan Edwards called on his deathbed his “uncommon union” with his wife, Sarah. The author does not mean Edwards was “difficult” in a negative sense, but rather that his lack of social skills combined with what she calls his “genius” made him perhaps a little hard to adapt to.

In fact, when Edwards “first showed an interest in Sarah, he scared her.” “Already it was clear that this glowering young man was touched by the fatal ingredient of greatness.” He had “entered college at the age of thirteen,” had been the “valedictory orator, and was “collecting a reputation as a formidable intellect.” “Often people who turn out to be the most interesting adults are the ones least acceptable to their adolescent peers.” “But it is remarkable that these two survived their courtship. Moody, socially bumbling, barricaded behind the stateliness of the very shy, Edwards was totally unlike the girl who fatefully caught his eye. She was a vibrant brunette, with erect posture and burnished manners. She was skillful at small talk — he had no talent for it at all. She was blithe — he was given to black patches of introspection.” Over four years, as Edwards had opportunity to participate in various ministries, he learned and grew. He and Sarah discovered mutual interests in books and nature (she was educated beyond the norm for the times). They married when she was seventeen and he was twenty-four (it was customary in those days for girls to be married before they were sixteen).

This book is full of details of everyday life in this period of history. This was the age of the Puritans, and modern-day conceptions of them are often wrong. What would have been involved for Sarah in housekeeping and the hospitality she was known for exercising are detailed as are also the customs of church life.

Jonathan and Sarah had eleven children, and their lineage is outlined (for example, a study made in 1900 revealed 13 college presidents, 66 physicians, 100 lawyers, 65 professors, 30 judges, and 80 holders of public office from the Edwards line). With just a handful of exceptions, their descendents were productive citizens.

Some of the most enjoyable passages in the book provide glimpses into Jonathan and Sarah’s relationship. The author writes, “The town saw Edwards’ composed dignity. Only his wife and closest friends knew what storms slammed about in the controlled exterior of him. What was driving him? [His sermons] were models of reason and rhetorical power, but they were more. Though the people in Northampton did not realize it, they were witnessing a great mind pushing out the frontiers of thought almost as drastically as other men in that day were pushing back forests.” A longtime houseguest and family friend, Samuel Hopkins, writes,

It was a happy circumstance that he could trust everything…to the care of Mrs. Edwards with entire safety and with undoubting confidence. She was a most judicious and faithful mistress of a family, habitually industrious, a sound economist, managing her household affairs with diligence and discretion. While she uniformly paid a becoming deference to her husband and treated him with entire respect, she spared no pains in conforming to his inclination and rendering everything in the family agreeable and pleasant; accounting it her greatest glory and there wherein she could best serve God and her generation, to be the means in this way of promoting his usefulness and happiness.

Jonathan “treated her as a fully mature being — as a person whose conversation entertained him, whose spirit nourished his own religious life, whose presence gave him repose.” Many days at about 4:00 in the afternoon, Jonathan would come out of his study and Sarah would “join him for a horseback ride… She often visited him in his study, and at night they had prayers together after everyone else…had gone to bed. As their days began with thanks to God for the return of the miracle of morning, so they ended with the consecration of their sleeping selves to the Lord of both their lives.”

After they began having children, Jonathan saved an hour of each day to focus just on his family, “entering freely into the concerns of his children and relaxing into cheerful and animate conversation accompanied frequently with sprightly remarks and sallies of wit and humor…then he went back to his study for more work before dinner.” Edwards also believed in educating his girls, which was unusual for the times, so he tutored them at home while the boys went to school in town. He took turns taking one child at a time with him on his travels.

Edwards pastored in Northampton, Massachusetts for about 24 years until an increasing difference of many opinions caused him to sadly resign. (Interestingly, his famous sermon, “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God” did not yield much response in his own church: it was when he preached it elsewhere that it caused such a stir.) He then ministered in Stockbridge for about six years to a small English congregation and a great number of Indian families. This at first may have seemed a strange assignment, but it offered a time of recuperation for the family from the stresses of Northampton and afforded Edwards opportunity to write some of his greatest works.

Edwards had just accepted the presidency of Princeton when he received a smallpox inoculation, which was new and controversial and proved deadly for him. Sarah died a few months later at he age of 49.

I’m not sure of the author’s spiritual state due to some of her comments and conclusions, but still the truth of what Edwards preached and what he and Sarah lived comes though clearly and reveals two hearts dependent on God and cherishing one another.

Unfortunately the book is out of print, but used copies are available from $1.78 and up through Amazon and other booksellers online.

For more about Sarah Edwards as a mother, see this post.

For the 31 Days writing challenge, I am sharing 31 Days of Inspirational Biography. You can find others in the series here.

(This will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

31 Days of Inspirational Biography: Anne Bradstreet, Puritan Poetess

Posted on October 14, 2014 by Barbara Harper

Anne Bradstreet has been one of my favorite poets since I first “discovered” her in my college sophomore American literature class. She and her husband and her parents emigrated from England to America in 1630 with other Puritans. Her heart and spirit that shines through her poems refute the premise that the Puritans were dour and humorless. She was one of America’s first poets and the first women to have a book published in the United States. She hadn’t sought publication herself, but her brother-in-law collected some of her poems to have them published under the title The Tenth Muse Lately Sprung Up in America, By a Gentlewoman of Those Parts. Feminists like to claim that she was an early feminist, since poetry writing and publishing was outside the norm in that time, especially for Puritan women, but the content of her poems would contradict feminist leanings.

Probably one of her most well-known and favorite poems is To My Dear and Loving Husband, which begins with the lines, “If ever two were one, then surely we. If ever man were lov’d by wife, then thee.” Another of my favorites is The Author To Her Book, which begins, “Thou ill-formed offspring of my feeble brain…” By Night While Others Soundly Slept touched my heart with her seeking communion with her Lord late at night:

By night when others soundly slept
And hath at once both ease and Rest,
My waking eyes were open kept
And so to lie I found it best.

I sought him whom my Soul did Love,
With tears I sought him earnestly.
He bow’d his ear down from Above.
In vain I did not seek or cry.

My hungry Soul he fill’d with Good;
He in his Bottle put my tears,
My smarting wounds washt in his blood,
And banisht thence my Doubts and fears.

What to my Saviour shall I give
Who freely hath done this for me?
I’ll serve him here whilst I shall live
And Loue him to Eternity.

A few years ago my friend Bet pointed me to one of Anne’s poems with which I was not familiar, Verses Upon the Burning of Our House. The title clearly states the subject. The first lines describe the surprise and fear of finding her home in flames with earnest prayer for the Lord’s comfort. Job-like, “I blest his grace that gave and took,” and she acknowledges God’s ownership of all she has and His right to do with it as He will.

Yet she begins to grieve for the special, precious things lost, the particular familiar and treasured bits of a woman’s nesting instinct.

My sorrowing eyes aside did cast
And here and there the places spy
Where oft I sate and long did lie.
Here stood that Trunk, and there that chest,
There lay that store I counted best,
My pleasant things in ashes lie
And them behold no more shall I.

Then she reminds herself of the impermanence of treasures here on earth and “sets her affection of things above“:

Then straight I ‘gin my heart to chide:
And did thy wealth on earth abide,
Didst fix thy hope on mouldring dust,
The arm of flesh didst make thy trust?
Raise up thy thoughts above the sky
That dunghill mists away may fly.
Thou hast a house on high erect
Fram’d by that mighty Architect,
With glory richly furnished
Stands permanent, though this be fled.
It’s purchased and paid for too
By him who hath enough to do.
A price so vast as is unknown,
Yet by his gift is made thine own.
There’s wealth enough; I need no more.
Farewell, my pelf; farewell, my store.
The world no longer let me love;
My hope and Treasure lies above.

Often as I have read older stories and biographies I’ve been struck by how closely they lived with loss. We have fires, floods, and such now, too, of course, but such catastrophes happen much less often now due to safety factors implemented as a result of previous disasters. Yet even though materials things may last longer now, they still won’t last forever, and our treasures are best laid up in heaven.

A lot of modern online biographical sketches of Anne’s work tend to view her through a modern, biased lens rather than taking her work at face value and in context. Some see her as rebelling against her community and religious restrictions, but she was truly using her artistic gifts to express her faith rather than to rebel against it. One recent article I saw described her as ambivalent about her faith. I had never seen any ambivalence in her poems that I had read. I sent one such link to my friend Ann, who teaches about Anne in her high school English classes and knows much more about her than I do, and asked about the perspective. One of the poems quoted as “proof” in the article in question has this section:

Then higher on the glistering Sun I gaz’d
Whose beams was shaded by the leavie Tree,
The more I look’d, the more I grew amaz’d
And softly said, what glory’s like to thee?
Soul of this world, this Universes Eye,
No wonder, some made thee a Deity:
Had I not better known, (alas) the same had I.

Ann comments, “She’s saying that nature is so beautiful that she could be like others who do worship nature, if she didn’t know better. The fact that Cotton Mather praised her says volumes, as he was a leading Puritan preacher. I think Anne Bradstreet was a strong Christian and the author of this article is trying to weaken that testimony to fit her own purposes. Yes, that’s from my own biases – but believe the evidence of her life and writings fits that model better.” Ann also recommends Beyond Stateliest Marble: The Passionate Femininity of Anne Bradstreet by Douglas Wilson, which I had not heard of before but have put on my wish list.

I’m thankful and inspired that Anne used her poetry to reflect not only her love of home and family but of her God.

For the 31 Days writing challenge, I am sharing 31 Days of Inspirational Biography. You can find others in the series here.

31 Days of Inspirational Biography: Margaret Paton, Missionary to Cannibals in the South Sea Islands

Posted on October 10, 2014 by Barbara Harper

I wrote last year about John Paton, a missionary to the New Hebrides in the 1800s and a great man of God, who is the source of one of my all time favorite missionary quotes. Before he went to the field, some regarded him as foolish for going to minister where there were cannibals. To one man’s warning about his potential fate, he replied, “Mr. Dixon, you are advanced in years and your own prospect is soon to be laid in the grave, there to be eaten by worms. I confess to you that if I can but live and die serving and honoring the Lord Jesus, it will make no difference to me whether my body is eaten by cannibals or by worms.”

Some time ago I happened upon a book titled Margaret Paton: Letters From the South Seas, which, as its name implies, is a collection of letters that John Paton’s wife sent out over the years. The letters were written primarily to family back home, though there are a few to other individuals. They are quite long, but that is because they did not have the opportunity to send and receive mail very often. Since they were written to family, they contain more personal glimpses and anecdotes than a prayer letter to supporters would, and Margaret (or Maggie, as she signs herself) often had an amusing way of telling them. But there were also times of tragedy and perplexity that they experienced, and Maggie’s letters convey the situations and the wrestlings of heart they had in trying to discern the Lord’s will and His grace through every trial.
Rather than trying to summarize the whole book, I just want to give you a few excerpts here and there.

Maggie was John’s second wife: his first wife and son had died of malaria on the island of Tanna. When Maggie first came to the island with John, he pointed out “that Sacred Spot [the grave of his wife and child], so indelibly photographed on his memory. Oh, how I longed to spend a quiet hour by the grave of her whose footsteps I feel so unfit to follow, and who met her trials so unshrinkingly and alone — alone, so far as regards female companionship and sympathy!”

They were going to another island to labor and dropping off fellow missionaries at their respective islands on the way. On one island, “Great crowds of people came to look at us, as I believe we are the first white women who eve landed on Fotuna. The ladies were, in consequence, very curious to have us examined properly; and they went about it in a business-like way, as I can testify from the pokes and thumps received. They always felt themselves at the same time, to see how far we were alike. Poor things, they had yet to learn that we were sisters, resting under the same penalty and equally in need of and entitled to the same Saviour.” Then she mentioned having to “escape” when “their examinations” became “rather too minute.”

One thing that some missionaries struggle with, especially in primitive areas, is whether their living arrangements should be just like the natives or closer to what they are used to. There is no one right answer: it depends on the place, the people, health issues, and the leading of the Lord in each circumstance. The Paton’s home would have been nothing really like European homes, but Maggie writes, “I am trying my best to make it the prettiest and most inviting home I know — as refined, as civilized, and as nearly what we have been accustomed to, as our limited resources will permit. We must not let ourselves ‘down’ because we are among Savages, but try rather to lift them up to our Christian level in all things. One’s home has so much influence on one’s work, and on life and character; and it is due to our two wee boys to make it a bright one…it is no part of my creed to believe that…everything pleasant in sinful.” She then writes that, before she left for the field, one lady told her, “that missionaries’ wives were expected to live and dress in the most primitive way, and to set an example of great gravity and solemnity, else they would get to be talked about.” After wrestling with the “old Adam” in her, Maggie “controlled myself to retort, that in my Bible there was no separate code of rules for missionaries’ wives, any more than for other Christian gentlewomen.” She then wonders “that any one can be blind to the fact that our kind Creator has given us such wealth of beauty in Nature.” He could have made everything just useful, yet He chose to scatter beauty and charm throughout creation. This could probably be a separate post, but it all comes back to balance: I’ve read other stories of missionaries trying to find the right balance. I’m thinking of Isobel Kuhn in particular, who had some nice things from her wedding in her new home in a primitive area of China only to have them ruined by such practices the people then had of blowing their nose in their hands and then wiping them on the (new!) furniture, or letting babies use the bathroom on the beloved rug. She had to learn that though it isn’t wrong to “nest” or have nice things, it’s wrong to let them have priority over people’s souls or the work they were called to. I don’t think Maggie went too far the other way, but I’m just offering the other side of the balance for perspective.

In struggling to learn the language, she writes, “How the Apostles must have appreciated the gift of tongues on the Day of Pentecost! I wonder if it was accorded to their wives as well!” She writes how “provoking” it s to think you’ve mastered enough to converse a little, only to see them “looking at each other wonderingly.” “I got Mr. Paton’s help in any great difficulty — though he did not at all times enjoy the interruption, especially if the point in question turned out to be only about a needle and a thread, while he had been called away” from his work.

To some children who had given toward the Dayspring, the mission ship that transported people and supplies to the islands, she wrote, ”Now, if I tell you how really grateful all the missionaries are to the children who give their money so willingly to keep the Dayspring in nice order, and how the little vessel actually helps to keep the missionaries alive, as well as those so dear to them, by bringing them food and medicine and all they require, I am sure you will not grudge having denied yourselves many little gratifications to help in so important a work.”

There is a section I wish I had space to include answering some who criticize a missionary having a family. “The life of the Christian home is the best treatise on Christianity — a daily object lesson, which all can…’read, mark, learn, and inwardly digest.’” She also has a good section answering the comments some make that “ seem to grudge a man of burning enthusiasm and magnetic eloquence going to the foreign field, as if it were so much power and genius being wasted.” She argues convincingly for sending our best to the field.

I’ll forewarn you that there is a bit of perspective that’s not what we would think of as politically correct by today’s standards but I think is probably common for the times.

All of this comes just from the first third of the book! There’s so much more I wish I could include. I hope I’ve inspired you to read it for yourself.

For the 31 Days writing challenge, I am sharing 31 Days of Inspirational Biography. You can find others in the series here.

(This will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)