In the Presence of My Enemies

One of the books on my fall reading list was Gracia Burnham’s In the Presence of My Enemies. I had heard of it and seen it a few years ago and somewhere read an excerpt from it, but I avoided reading it. I couldn’t face it. I’m not sure why: maybe because it was too fresh, maybe because the people responsible for the Burnham’s captivity were still alive (maybe not the specific people, but the extremist Islamic groups are still active), maybe because in the portion that I read, Gracia was having to deal with something that I struggle with. But our youth pastor saw a DVD presentation of Gracia sharing her testimony at another church where he was ministering and recommended it to me. I ordered it, watched it, and was so touched on so many levels. I then felt that I had to read the book.

For those who might not be aware, Martin and Gracia Burnham were missionaries in the Philippines: he was a missionary pilot who reminded me a lot of one of my church’s missionaries who also pilots a small plane. They had gone for a quick weekend get-away to celebrate their anniversary at a resort. They didn’t usually go to the “touristy” areas, but decided to go this once. During their stay, an Islamic extremist group stormed the resort and took guests and a few staff members hostage. Several of the hostages were able to arrange for ransom and were released after a few months. Some were killed along the way. The Burnhams were held for over a year. Martin was killed in a rescue attempt by the Philippine military and Gracia was wounded.

I don’t want to take away from what she shares on the DVD or in the book, so I won’t go into the details of the story here. I do want to mention just a couple of impressions, though.

As the Burnhams struggled with negative thoughts and attitudes toward their captors, I kept finding myself thinking at first, “But they had a right to feel that way!” I knew better, but that was the thought that kept coming. They had to put into practice the Bible’s teaching about loving their enemies, praying for those who were despitefully using them, in a very real way and only by God’s grace.

I also was grieved that I did not pray for them more. I don’t recall if I prayed for them at all. Often when I hear reports of stories like theirs on the news, I try at least to pray right then in the midst of loading the dishwasher or driving or whatever I am doing. I may have prayed for them in that way, but I don’t remember. The scripture came to mind to remember those in bonds as if bound with them, and I failed to do that for the Burnhams, but this caused me to determine not to neglect that ministry again.

I was also struck by the Muslim group’s twisted sense of logic. They wanted Islam to rule the world so it would be ruled by “righteousness.” They advocated the cutting off of someone’s hand for stealing — but excused their own stealing because they “needed” the stolen items for their cause. When people died in the course of what they did, it was “their destiny.” They had a strong sense of “justice” but saw mercy as a weakness. When discussing that last point with one of their captors, Martin said, “You know, I hope my children don’t take up the attitude you have. I hope they don’t ever shoot some Muslims because of what you have done to us.” The man to whom they were speaking looked shocked. “Done to you? What is my sin against you? I have never done anything to you.” Martin and Gracia could only look at each other incredulously.

Gracia tells of her very human struggles, like depression, anger, and resentment over their situation and the realization that not only was her attitude not helping, but it was hurting. She writes, “I knew that I had a choice. I could give in to my resentment and allow it to dig me into a deeper and deeper hole both psychologically and emotionally, or I could choose to believe what God’s Word says to be true whether I felt it was or not.” That was a turning point for her as she chose to believe God and handed over her pain and anger to Him. I thought how often we get tripped up over pain, resentment, and anger over much lesser things.

She shares also how the Lord provided for them in unexpected ways, how she and Martin encouraged each other, how they had to battle a captive’s mindset, how they were able to talk about the Lord with their captors and other hostages, as well as the details of how she and Martin originally came together as a couple and what happened in the aftermath of her captivity.

One final impression: God’s Word is true no matter what, and thankfully He doesn’t see fit to put all of us through that kind of experience., but when someone who has been through what she has speaks of God’s goodness and faithfulness, the truth of God’s Word and the reality of His Presence….it rings true. There is an authenticity about that person’s testimony. Their faith, their beliefs have been tried in the fires of testing.

I Peter 1:6-8:

Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations:
That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ: Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory…

Limitations

Elisabeth Elliot’s writings just bless my socks off. I know she would not want to be glorified for herself: the blessing that comes through her is a result of the Lord’s working in her life and teaching her for these many years. Because she’s walked the road ahead of us she can encourage us not just by theory but by experience that God is faithful and His path of obedience the best path.

I receive a daily e-mail devotional from from Back to the Bible taken from some of her writings. A couple of days ago the topic was limitations, and she wrote

Yesterday as I was reading my brother Tom’s book, The Achievement of C.S. Lewis, I was admiring again the scope of his knowledge, his ability to comprehend another’s genius, and his wonderful command of English. By contrast my own limitations seemed severe indeed. They are of many kinds–analytical, critical, articulatory, not to mention educational. But my limitations, placing me in a different category from Tom Howard’s or anyone else’s, become, in the sovereignty of God, gifts. For it is with the equipment that I have been given that I am to glorify God. It is this job, not that one, that He gave me.

For some, the limitations are not intellectual but physical. The same truth applies. Within the context of their suffering, with whatever strength they have, be it ever so small, they are to glorify God. The apostle Paul actually claimed that he “gloried” in infirmities, because it was there that the power of Christ was made known to him.

If we regard each limitation which we are conscious of today as a gift–that is, as one of the terms of our particular service to the Master–we won’t complain or pity or excuse ourselves. We will rather offer up those gifts as a sacrifice, with thanksgiving.

I have thought often in regard to dealing with the after-effects of transverse myelitis, “Lord, I could serve you so much better without this.” But it’s as if He were saying, “No, this is what I am using to shape your service for Me.” Most people who have gone through any type of trial or affliction in life would say that, although they didn’t welcome the trial itself, they were drawn closer to the Lord, and the lessons learned were invaluable.

Even limitations that are not from some type of trial but rather from the seasons of life shape what our ministry is supposed to be. I remember as a mother of young children often having this desire to do something — I wasn’t sure quite what — and I was discouraged that I was too busy trying to keep my head above water in everyday life to try to figure it out. The Lord had to keep reminding me that that was His ministry, my service for Him, at that season. I needed to focus, to relax and enjoy it. And now, getting older (that sounds so much better than aging! 🙂 I’m still in the middle of middle age) I can already foresee that there will be different limitations in the coming seasons of life that will shape who I am and what I do for Him.

Our limitations are God’s tools. As Elisabeth said, “For it is with the equipment that I have been given that I am to glorify God. It is this job, not that one, that He gave me,” and theybecome, in the sovereignty of God, gifts.”

When afraid to surrender

Sometimes we wrestle with the thought, “If I really surrender all to God, what will He do to me?” Even if we have made that surrender before, that thought can come at odd moments. After all, Joni Eareckson Tada was paralyzed as a teen-ager and has been in a wheelchair for, I think, 30-some years. Elisabeth Elliot lost not one, but two husbands. A dear professor had Lou Gehrig’s disease for over 20 years…our minds can go on and on with other examples we know.

There have been whole books written about reasons for suffering, and we hear testimonies of God’s grace through those times. Yet that lurking fear or reluctance can still snake into our thoughts.

As I was pondering these things this morning, the thought came, “What’s the alternative, really?” Suffering will come to most of us in some form or another. We live in a fallen world and deal with its effects; we’re not in heaven yet, where there are no tears, sorrow, pain. We’re not going to stop these things from coming into our lives if we don’t surrender to God. We can’t somehow insulate ourselves or protect ourselves from any pain or trial.

But if we are the Lord’s, we can trust that He has a purpose in what He has allowed. We can trust Him for His presence, peace, grace, and help. If we’re surrendered to Him, we can face these things in a way that we can’t otherwise.

One comment that stayed with me from a forgotten article about a trial a lady faced was this: “I was glad, when this happened, that He was not a stranger to me.” It’s certainly better to face a trial with Him rather than apart from Him. Sometimes He does work through the trials of life to bring people to Himself from their position as a stranger to Him, or to bring His children back from a backslidden position, or draw His children closer. But after that, we can “glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us” (Romans 5:3-5).

We need not hold back our wills from the Lord for fear of what might happen. It’s futile to do so, really. But even aside from that, we can face whatever He sees fit to allow into our lives knowing that He will work all things together for good to them that love God (Romans 8:28) and by relying on His promises:

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness (Isaiah 41:10).

Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need (Hebrews 4:16).

Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (II Corinthians 12:8-10).