From our earliest years, we’re taught the good manners to thank someone when they give us something or do something for us. Thanking them shows we recognize and appreciate the kindness, consideration, time, trouble, and expense they’ve gone to.
How much more should we thank God for so many undeserved blessings? Thanksgiving praises Him and acknowledges that “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change” (James 1:7).
But recently I came across a surprising reason to be thankful.
Ezekiel 16 is an extended metaphor comparing God’s care of Jerusalem to the care of a man who found an abandoned baby girl, cared for her, fed her, and clothed her royally. When the baby grew up into a beautiful woman, the man loved her and wanted her to be his. In verse 14, God said, “And your renown went forth among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect through the splendor that I had bestowed on you.”
But instead of being thankful, Jerusalem “trusted in your beauty” and then became promiscuous with just about anyone she could find, taking God’s gifts and making idols, even sacrificing her children.
This passage reminds me of King Uzziah, who “was marvelously helped, till he was strong. But when he was strong, he grew proud, to his destruction. For he was unfaithful to the Lord his God” (2 Chronicles 26:15-16).
It’s a sad facet of our human nature that we can take God’s good gifts and use them for our own glory or gain.
We become prideful, forgetting anything good in us comes from Him. And then we turn from Him to false idols like the people in Romans 1:
For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things. Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity (Romans 1:22-24).
When we thank God for what we have, we remind ourselves that everything is a gift from Him. In 1 Corinthians 4:7, Paul reminds us, “What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?”
It’s not that God wants to lord it over us or browbeat us with the reminder that we should be thankful to Him. But He knows our hearts are “prone to wander,” as the old song says.
So thanking God not only gives Him proper praise, but it keeps our own souls healthy. We remind ourselves that everything we have comes from Him and is to be used for Him. We respond with humility, appreciation, and loving service.
Many of you know that writer Elisabeth Elliot has been my “mentor from afar” for over forty years.
One of my favorites quotes comes from her book Love Has a Price Tag:
My second husband once said that a wife, if she is very generous, may allow that her husband lives up to eighty percent of her expectations. There is always the other twenty percent that she would like to change, and she may chip away at it for the whole of their married life without reducing it very much. She may, on the other hand, simply decide to enjoy the eighty percent, and both of them will be happy
That’s so true, isn’t it? We tend to fixate on the small things that bug us rather than the great majority of things we love.
I was thinking recently that this principle applies to more than marriage.
Take friendship, for instance. My best friend in high school had a lot of good qualities, but she was slow-moving, especially when we were to go somewhere together. Any attempts to hurry her led to even more slowness. Constant harping on this one issue would only have driven a wedge between us.
Or neighbors. A good neighbor is a treasure. A bad neighbor is a pain. We don’t want to offend the person who is going to live right next door to us for years, maybe decades. So we pick our battles. We can live with some irritants to keep peace.
We might love our work, but it’s not all sunshine. Even with the best job, there are always a couple of unpleasant aspects.
And what about churches? None is perfect. You’ve probably heard the old cliche: “If you find a perfect church, don’t join it, because then it won’t be perfect any more.” No one church will be and do everything we might like.
When I hear of people leaving church because of some disappointment, I often think of the Corinthians, the epitome of dysfunctional churches. If we had visited such a church in our searches, we would not have gone to this one twice.
Yet every time I read 1 and 2 Corinthians, I am amazed at how patient the apostle Paul is in dealing with them. They had much more than 20 percent that needed to be dealt with, but he never gave up on them.
Enjoying the 80 percent of any relationship doesn’t mean we can never address the aspects we don’t enjoy. But sometimes, as the KJV puts it, we need to forbear with one another. Other translations say bear with, make allowance for, tolerate, or even put up with each other.
And the Bible goes beyond just bearing with each other. Ephesians 4:1-3 says: “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”
Humility, gentleness, patience, love, unity, and peace: these are all more important than whatever irritates us about each other.
A couple of other thoughts that help me with this: there’s probably more than 20 percent about me that others have to “put up with,” yet they graciously do. My husband and friends don’t constantly find fault and criticize or insist I do things their way. I can extend that grace to them.
Also, even though God is in the business of correcting and sanctifying us, He does it with patience and grace. He doesn’t pile up everything we need to deal with all at once. We’d be crushed under the load.
One caveat to this 80 percent principle: it depends on what’s in the 20 percent. If a wife likes everything about her husband except the fact that he beats her, that behavior is not something that should be overlooked or ignored. If one friend learned that the other was embezzling his company, or cheating on his wife, he would be wise to step in. If we love the music, fellowship, people, and preaching of a church, yet the leadership denies that Jesus is God, or tells us we get to heaven by doing good works, then we need to find another church.
But in most cases, the 20 percent we don’t like is comprised of smaller issues. Can we not overlook them, for God’s glory and for the love and fellowship of His people?
Can you imagine a body without joints? It wouldn’t even be able to move.
We don’t usually appreciate the joints in our body until they start to give us problems.
I’m at the age where various joints take turns stiffening, aching, tingling, creaking, or even going out on me. If they all ganged up on me at once, I’d be in real trouble.
What happens when a joint doesn’t work right? An achy joint limits mobility. If the joint is stiff or painful enough, it could stop movement altogether. The Bible likens an unreliable person to an unreliable joint: “Confidence in an unfaithful man in time of trouble is like a broken tooth, and a foot out of joint,” (Proverbs 25:19, KJV).
There are multiple passages comparing Christians to a body, with Christ as its head. And that body is held together and moves by way of its joints.
After telling about the gifts God has given to the church in teachers, shepherds, and evangelists to help the church mature and equip the saints for the work of the ministry, Paul says:
Speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love (Ephesians 4:15-16).
Colossians has similar imagery:
Holding fast to the Head, from whom the whole body, nourished and knit together through its joints and ligaments, grows with a growth that is from God (2:19).
In looking up the anatomy of joints, I was surprised to find just how complex they are. But one significant part of a joint is the synovium, which secretes synovial fluid, which in turn provides lubrication and nourishment for the joint, according to this article.
Interestingly, that article also says, the synovium “not only has its own specific functions but also interacts with other tissues in the joint both structurally and functionally.” That’s just like the body of Christ, too, isn’t it? 1 Corinthians 12 says we each have our own gifts and areas of usefulness, but we also interact as different parts of the same body.
What’s the synovial fluid among God’s people?
Ephesians 4:15 says we should be “speaking the truth in love.”
Jesus said, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 15:34-35).
Peter said, “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8).
Paul wrote, “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogantor rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).
Wouldn’t our interactions as a body go so much more smoothly if we expressed that kind of love?
The synovial fluid also nourishes joints. Colossians says we’re “nourished and knit together through its joints and ligaments.“
As we take in God’s Word and grow in Him, we share it with each other, so that we help others grow as well.
Adrian Rogers* calls this activity within the body “flexible harmony.” “When each part is working properly, [it] makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love” (Ephesians 4:16).
May we avoid spiritual achy joints by loving and nourishing each other in Christ.
*(This post was inspired by a couple of paragraphs near the end of Adrian Roger’s message, Faithful in Ministry, heard on BBN Radio 10/25/24. The link contains a summary, along with tabs to listen or download the transcript.)
Many of us cringe at the popular saying that “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle.” I wonder if people who say that have not experienced many trials in life. God often puts people in situations that bring them to the end of their own strength in order that they might rely on His.
But there are clues in the Bible that God knows how much we can take and adjusts our experiences accordingly.
For instance, there is an often overlooked passage right after the ten plagues in Egypt and the institution of the Passover.
When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them by way of the land of the Philistines, although that was near. For God said, “Lest the people change their minds when they see war and return to Egypt.”But God led the people around by the way of the wilderness toward the Red Sea (Exodus 13:17-18).
Did you catch that? God didn’t lead the people out of the promised land by the shortest route because they might “change their minds if they see war.” From what I have read, this means that the Philistines would have seen the coming Israelites as an invasion, and Israel, just coming out of 400 years of slavery, would have been frightened out of their wits and tempted to turn back.
But when God takes them through a longer route, they end up caught between the Red Sea and the Egyptians, who had decided to come after then.
Didn’t God know they would still be scared out of their wits? (I’m not judging them: I would have been, too!) Of course He did. But the fact that He led them this way on purpose seems to me to indicate this is a situation they could have have trusted Him for. They had just seen Him challenge and defeat all the Egyptian deities by the plagues He sent. He miraculously delivered them from captivity. He led them with a pillar of fire by night and a pillar of cloud to this very place.
Another example even before the exodus was when God called Moses to be Israel’s leader and bring His people out of Egypt. Moses gave every excuse in the book as to why he couldn’t (and I am sure I would have done the same). But God had all the details worked out and would equip Moses for what He called Him to.
One more: when God called Gideon to deliver Israel from the Midianites, Gideon obeyed, but with some trepidation. In Judges 7, right before a major battle, God whittled his army down to 300 men to face “the Midianites and the Amalekites and all the people of the East . . . like locusts in abundance, and their camels were without number, as the sand that is on the seashore in abundance.” God told Gideon He had given the Midianite camp into Gideon’s hands. But, God said, “If you are afraid to go down, go down to the camp with Purah your servant. And you shall hear what they say, and afterward your hands shall be strengthened to go down against the camp.“
So they went down to the enemy camp and overheard one of the soldiers telling about a dream in which a barley cake rolled into the camp and hit a tent so hard that the tent fell, turned upside down, and then lay flat. “His comrade answered, ‘This is no other than the sword of Gideon the son of Joash, a man of Israel; God has given into his hand Midian and all the camp.’”
Gideon responded by worshiping God and then arousing the Israelite camp with confidence. The confidence wasn’t in himself. The main reason God had reduced the army to 300 was so that Israel couldn’t boast in saving themselves. It was still a task they couldn’t do on their own. But God “knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust“ (Psalm 10:14), and He stoops to our weakness, as one old hymn says.
For a New Testament example, 1 Corinthians 10 tells of several in the Old Testament who failed in some way. Then Paul writes, “Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall.No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” There’s the warning: take heed. Don’t trust in yourself. But there’s also reassurance: God is faithful and will provide a way of escape.
In John 15, Jesus tells us to abide in Him, for without Him we can do nothing. And Philippians 4:13 says we “can do all thingsthrough him who strengthens me.”
God does bring us to more than we can handle in ourselves. Paul says in 1 Corinthians he had been at a point where he was “so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself”. But, he said, “that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead” (verses 8-9).
When God brings us to a situation that seems too much to handle, we can ask Him for deliverance. I’ve always been heartened by the fact that Jesus prayed in Gethsemane, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done” (Luke 22:42).
But if God doesn’t remove the situation, we can trust Him for the grace to go through it. He knows our limits and weaknesses. He wants to grow our faith, character, and reliance on Him, and that will take us out of our comfort zone many times. Warren Wiersbe says, “When God puts us in the furnace, His hand is on the thermostat and His eye is on the clock.” He won’t keep us there longer than necessary. He promises His strength for our weakness, His presence, and His care for every step of the way.
My husband and I aren’t rah rah people. I didn’t care for pep rallies in school. We cheer at games, especially when our kids are playing. But otherwise, we’re pretty quiet people.
I’ve cringed when I’ve occasionally heard preachers rebuke people for being more excited at a football game than at church. I understand their point, but I’ve thought, “Do you really want the cacophony of a ball game in here?”
So I was encouraged when our Sunday School teacher recently pointed out a verse about silence.
She said that translations vary in how they render the first verse of Psalm 65. The ESV says, “Praise is due to you, O God, in Zion, and to you shall vows be performed.”
But many other translations mention silence, like the NASB: “There will be silence before You, and praise in Zion, God, And the vow will be fulfilled for You.”
The difference seems to be in the word “awaits,” which means, in the Greek, “A silence, a quiet waiting, repose” (according to the bottom of this page).
Worship in silence.
Personally, I feel most worshipful in silence before the Lord. I resonate with David in another psalm when he says, “For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken” (Psalm 62:1-2).
But sometimes silence results not just from personality, but from awe. Job understandably cries out about his suffering and wonders what God is doing in his life for multiple chapters of the book bearing his name.
And then God speaks. He doesn’t answer Job’s questions. But He reveals his power and care over all His creation.
Job responds, “Behold, I am of small account; what shall I answer you? I lay my hand on my mouth. I have spoken once, and I will not answer; twice, but I will proceed no further.”
The only response to such majesty, power, and greatness was humility and silence. There are just no words. As God said in Habakkuk 2:20: “But the Lord is in his holy temple; let all the earth keep silence before him.”
Sometimes silence before the Lord comes from depth of feeling, as when “the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words” (Romans 8:26).
Sometimes we’re silent in God’s presence because we have no excuses. We know we’ve done wrong and deserve whatever chastisement we’re experiencing. We understand the author of Lamentations when he says, “The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. Let him sit alone in silence when it is laid on him; let him put his mouth in the dust—there may yet be hope” (3:25-29). He reminds himself just a few verses later, “For the Lord will not cast off forever, but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love” (3:31-32).
We also need silence to listen and learn. As many a teacher has said, “You can’t listen while you’re talking.”
Worship with shouting.
But, as Ecclesiastes says, there is “a time to keep silence, and a time to speak” (3:7).
David goes on in the psalm our class was studying, Psalm 65, to talk about the blessings of answered prayer, forgiveness, and God’s presence. He exalts God for His “awesome deeds,” for creation, for God’s care of all He has made. And then he mentions shouting: “You make the going out of the morning and the evening to shout for joy” (verse 8b).
Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, O righteous, and shout for joy, all you upright in heart! (Psalm 32:11).
Shout for joy in the Lord, O you righteous! Praise befits the upright (Psalm 33:1).
Though I am not a shouter by nature, the closest I get to that exuberant joy that can’t be contained, that has to burst out somehow, is when someone is baptized.
Worship with singing.
Psalm 65 closes with singing in verse 13: “The meadows clothe themselves with flocks, the valleys deck themselves with grain, they shout and sing together for joy.”
Perhaps we associate singing with worship more than any other activity, though all of a church service and all of our lives can be acts of worship if done as unto the Lord.
Of course, there are a plethora of verses that talk about worshiping the Lord through song:
Oh sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord, all the earth! Sing to the Lord, bless his name; tell of his salvation from day to day (Psalm 96:1-2).
But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may exult in you (Psalm 5:11).
But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me (Psalm 13:5-6).
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God (Colossians 3:16).
I will tell of your name to my brothers; in the midst of the congregation I will sing your praise (Hebrews 2:12).
I especially love passages that say God is our song, like Isaiah 12:2: “Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the LordGod is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation.”
Psalm 65 starts with silence and ends with shouting and singing. Sometimes our silent worship and contemplation of God’s word and character will erupt into boisterous praise. Sometimes singing God’s songs with other believers will give us something to take home and think about in silence. Some days, and some seasons of life, lend themselves to silence, others to loud praise. Whether we come before the Lord in silence or with singing and shouting, we know He is with us and will hear us.
Almost every day, I pray for rulers and authorities according to 1 Timothy 2:1-2. Recently I had occasion to look up that passage, and was stunned to find I had forgotten a key point.
First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people,for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.
The word I had overlooked?
Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving?
How can we be thankful for rulers who don’t rule well (speaking generally across a lifetime of elected officials), who oppose God’s moral law, who stand for things we’re against?
Well, at the time Paul wrote this letter to Timothy, they were under the reign of Nero—not the most moral of leaders, and certainly not friendly to Christians.
Even the worst rulers keep some sort of order. Without them, we’d have total anarchy or mob rule, neither of which is good.
For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval,for he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer.Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God’s wrath but also for the sake of conscience (Romans 13:3).
But besides that, the Bible says that rulers are appointed by God.
Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God (Romans 13:1).
For not from the east or from the west and not from the wilderness comes lifting up,but it is God who executes judgment, putting down one and lifting up another (Psalm 75:6-7).
He changes times and seasons; he removes kings and sets up kings; he gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those who have understanding (Daniel 2:21).
The Most High rules the kingdom of men and gives it to whom he will and sets over it the lowliest of men (Daniel 4:17b).
How can God set up ungodly rulers?
Habakkuk wondered that in the book that bears his name. He complained to God about the sin, violence, strife, and destruction all around him. “The law is paralyzed, and justice never goes forth.For the wicked surround the righteous; so justice goes forth perverted” (1:4).
How did God answer? He was sending the “dreaded and fearsome” Chaldeans, known for their violence, “whose own might is their god.“
If Habakkuk lived in our day, he might have said, “Wait—what?” He protests, and then God elaborates. Their conversation is too long to share here, but I encourage you to read it. God was judging Israel, but He would judge the Chaldeans, too. Habakkuk asks God to “in wrath remember mercy,” and though he trembles, he trusts and will rejoice in God.
God doesn’t always share His reasons for what He does. Sometimes He appoints wicked rulers as a judgment. Sometimes we’re more prayerful when a candidate we’re opposed to wins an election. When “our guy” is in office, we tend to trust him rather than God. Sometimes He has other purposes in mind. But rulers don’t have a free pass just because God appointed them. They are accountable to Him as well.
And even when wicked rulers are in power, God is still on the throne. Statements and evidences of this are all over Scripture, but one clear example is in the book of Esther. God’s name is not mentioned in Esther, but His fingerprints are everywhere. Despite a heathen king and a wicked enemy, God spared His people.
The United States will hold elections in a couple of weeks. Whether our preferred candidates win or not, we should:
Remember God is still on the throne.
Obey authorities unless they ask us to disobey God. “We must obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29); “Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people” (Titus 3:1-2).
Pray for them. “First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way (1 Timothy 2:1-2).
Thank God for them (1 Timothy 2:1).
Respect them. Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor (1 Peter 2:17).
Serve God. Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God (1 Peter 2:13-16).
Human government is, in one sense, God’s gift to help maintain order in the world, so that the church may minister the Word and win the lost to Christ (1 Tim. 2: 1–8). We should pray daily for those in authority so that they might exercise that authority in the will of God. It is a serious thing for a Christian to oppose the law, and he must be sure he is in the will of God when he does it. He should also do it in a manner that glorifies Christ, so that innocent people (including unsaved government employees) might not be made to suffer (p. 64).
Speaking evil of others is a great sin, and the people of God must avoid it. We may not respect the people in office, but we must respect the office, for all authority is God-given. Those who revile government officials in the name of Christ ought to read and ponder Titus 3: 1–2: “Remind them to be subject to rulers, to authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good deed, to malign no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing every consideration for all men” (NASB). When Daniel refused the king’s food, he did it in a gracious way that did not get his guard into trouble (Dan. 1). Even when the apostles refused to obey the Sanhedrin’s order that they stop preaching in the name of Jesus, they acted like gentlemen. They respected the authority, even though they disobeyed the order (p. 65, emphasis mine).
What can we pray for elected officials?
Wisdom. “Give your servant therefore an understanding mind to govern your people, that I may discern between good and evil, for who is able to govern this your great people?” (1 Kings 3:9).
Justice. “May he judge your people with righteousness, and your poor with justice! May he defend the cause of the poor of the people,give deliverance to the children of the needy,and crush the oppressor!” (Psalm 72:2, 4).
Peace; opportunity to live a godly life. “That we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way” (1 Timothy 2:2)
Right counsel, that wrong counsel will be unheeded. “And it was told David, ‘Ahithophel is among the conspirators with Absalom.’ And David said, ‘O Lord, please turn the counsel of Ahithophel into foolishness” (2 Samuel 15:31).
Truth; salvation. Joseph, Daniel, Peter, Paul, and others had opportunities to share God’s truth with the leaders of their day.
No earthly ruler or authority will be perfect, yet God uses them for His own purposes. It matters that we use the voice God has given us through voting as wisely as possible. But then we trust Him for and through the results. And because we trust Him, we can thank Him.
Updated to add: I will not approve any comments pro or against any candidate. My point is that ALL Christians are under obligation to respect, obey, pray for, and thank God for whichever candidates are elected.
Some believe that Jesus is a good example, but they don’t believe He is God in the flesh.
C. S. Lewis famously said that if Jesus is not God, He is not good. Since He claimed to the God, if He isn’t, then He is either delusional or deceptive.
We know by faith, by the Word of God, by His claims, by the testimony of others that Jesus is God.
So we know that Jesus is more than just a good example. Yet the Scriptures tell His children specifically to look to Him as an example in various aspects of life.
We don’t follow His example to try to be enough like Him to earn salvation. That would never work. We could never be “good enough.” Plus, He’s told us that salvation is by grace through faith, not ourselves (Ephesians 2:8-9).
So first, we look to Him for salvation (John 3:16-18). Then we look to Him as our perfect example for leading a godly life.
Love. “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God” (Ephesians 5:1-2).
Endurance. “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.” (Hebrews 12:1-3).
Service. “When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, “Do you understand what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them” (John 13:12-27).
Putting othersfirst. “We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For Christ did not please himself, but as it is written, ‘The reproaches of those who reproached you fell on me'” (Romans 15:1-3).
Humility and sacrifice. “Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name,so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father” (Philippians 2:5-11).
Suffering. “For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly. For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed” (1 Peter 2:19-24).
“Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God” (1 Peter 4:1-2).
Taking up our cross. “Then Jesus told his disciples, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it'” (Matthew 16:24).
There are also many ways He was an example to us where the Bible doesn’t use that word. For instance, as He resisted Satan with the Word of God, He showed us how to do the same. (Matthew 4). 1 John 2:6 says, “Whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.”
However, looking to Jesus as an example naturally leads to this thought: He is God. Of course He could do all these things perfectly. I am not and cannot.
Of course, we’ll never do any of these things perfectly. But looking to Jesus does more than inspire us and give us an ideal.
When I look at how Jesus suffered unjustly without “reviling” or “threatening,” my tendency to chafe under my minor trials melts away.
When I see how He didn’t stand on His “rights” as the Son of God, my grasp on my own rights loosens.
When I see the love He expressed to me and to others, His love fills me and overflows.
Colossians 2:3 tells us that in Christ “are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.” Similarly, 1 Corinthians 1:30 says, “And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption.”
So we not only learn wisdom as we observe in the Bible what He did when He was on earth, but our very righteousness and sanctification are in Him.
Furthermore, 2 Corinthians 3:18 tells us “And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”
As we behold Him, we don’t just see an inspirational example to follow. In some way, we’re actually transformed to be more like Him.
May this be our prayer:
Oh! to be like Thee, oh! to be like Thee, Blessed Redeemer, pure as Thou art; Come in Thy sweetness, come in Thy fullness; Stamp Thine own image deep on my heart.
There are times the Bible tells us to overlook offenses.
Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses (Proverbs 10:12).
Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends (Proverbs 17:9).
Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense (Proverbs 19:11).
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8).
But other times, we’re told to confront sin.
Whoever rebukes a man will afterward find more favor than he who flatters with his tongue (Proverbs 28:23).
If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector (Matthew 18:15-17).
My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins (James 5:19-20).
How do you know when to confront someone and when to overlook what they did?
That’s something I have wrestled with most of my adult life. By nature, I tend to avoid confrontation unless I am in a position of authority, such as with my children or a class.
As I have pondered these questions, it seemed confrontation is clearly called for when someone
commits a crime
violates a clear, specific biblical command, like lying or committing adultery
hurts someone else, like an abuser
premeditates any of these things.
On the other end of the scale, we should obviously overlook minor irritations like squeezing the toothpaste tube or putting toilet paper roll on the “wrong” way.
But a vast gray area exists between those extremes.
Once I was talking with a friend who was upset with our pastor. He had preached a strong Mother’s Day message about the value of a mother in the home. He never said a mother shouldn’t work outside the home, but my friend felt that’s what he meant. She felt that she had no choice but to work while mothering. She was so troubled that she was already planning to avoid church the next Mother’s Day.
We moved shortly thereafter, but I was concerned about a larger breach forming between my friend and the pastor. I didn’t think she had sinned, but Hebrews 12:15 warns of a “root of bitterness” which would have caused much grief and more hurt. I don’t remember what I said in the moment, but this concern grew to the point that I wrote my friend a letter, trying to bring understanding and smooth things over. Still feeling uncertain over whether I should say anything, I asked God to let the letter get lost in the mail if it wasn’t His will for it to reach her.
Soon I got a note from my friend saying, “I hope you didn’t send me a bunch of money, because I received an envelope from you with nothing in it.”
Furthermore, the next time we talked, she spoke of the pastor in glowing terms. So no breach had formed at all.
Well—God definitely answered my prayer! But I was also a bit shaken. This was obviously not a time God wanted me to intervene. So how could I know when He did, especially when my bent was to avoid doing so?
How do we navigate the gray areas? I still don’t have all the answers, but these principles come to mind.
Pray much. We can cause further problems if we jump in where we shouldn’t. We need God’s wisdom and guidance.
Be swift to hear, slow to speak (James 1:19). Unless someone is in imminent danger, it’s better to act slowly and cautiously. “The one who gives an answer before he listens — this is foolishness and disgrace for him” (Proverbs 18:3).
Speak from a relationship. An expression of concern will go over much better if there is a previous relationship. Someone who knows me and cares about me has more of a right to point out something wrong than an acquaintance.
Speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). Someone whose blog I have lost track of wrote about a woman in her church who spoke to her rather harshly about dressing immodestly at church. To this younger lady’s credit, she took the woman’s rebuke to heart and agreed with her. But the way it was handled caused unnecessary pain.
Aim for restoration. Most rebuke in Scripture is meant to help turn the person around. We live in such a smack-down culture, we need to remember not to just lob attacks at people. We don’t point out wrong in order to elevate ourselves as “right,” but to help the person see what’s wrong and be motivated to correct it.
Give the benefit of the doubt. For example, if a person seemingly snubbed you at church, consider that maybe they didn’t see you or were preoccupied.
Consider extenuating circumstances. When people are under stress, they say and do things they wouldn’t otherwise. After everything calms down, we might need to discuss how what they said hurt our feelings. But then again, we might write the offense off as uncharacteristic.
If this kind of reaction is a habit, though, I think a discussion is probably necessary. Abusers often follow this pattern of blowing up, then blaming their reaction on the other person.
When you overlook, truly overlook. If we’re not going to speak to someone about their offense, we shouldn’t stew over it.
Don’t be a busybody. A young woman in a former church shared with some of us that an older woman told her that she and her husband shouldn’t wait until he finished school, as they planned, to have children. This same older woman told another young mother that she was having too many children too close together. Though I know this older woman felt she was “helping,” she seems to me to have stepped over the line.
When the young wife told us of this incident and how it hurt her and seemed an unnecessary intrusion, I said, “That sounds like Mrs. X.” It was Mrs. X. Another lady in the group spoke of needing to know how to take Mrs. X. so as not to get feelings hurt. But I have often wondered if someone should have said something to Mrs. X.
Ephesians 4:1-3 says, “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”
Sometimes love bears with each other in our faults and foibles; sometimes love points out wrong that it may be confessed and forgiven.
As we were preparing for bed one night last week, my husband shared a concern on his heart for our country, especially in regard to the next election.
I’m thankful for a husband who keeps informed and understands more about these things than I do. I’m afraid I am not nearly as interested in politics as my husband is. It’s not that I stick my head in the sand and ignore what’s going on. I believe in being informed, voting, and using our voice, especially since we have a voice and vote in this country. But sometimes it seems nearly impossible to know what’s really happening behind closed doors and what news services are trustworthy.
The country’s and the world’s problems are too big for me. There’s not much I can do about any of them besides pray. And though I acknowledge that praying is the main and best thing I can do, I get overwhelmed, frustrated, and burdened if I think too much about the needs of the world. I have enough to do with the things I have responsibility for.
As I continued my nightly routine, I began to think of some of those responsibilities closer to home. We had a few more events than usual on the calendar. At this stage of life, having a busy calendar stresses me even when I look forward to the events.
Before I go to bed, I like to read the evening selection fromDaily Light on the Daily Path. At that time of night, I don’t dive deep, pull out commentaries, or look up definitions like I might during my main Bible reading in the mornings. I mainly read a few verses of truth at night to settle my mind and close my day.
This night, however, I had trouble focusing even for those few minutes. It’s not that I was worried or stressed at the moment because of national or personal needs. But my thoughts pinballed at high speed between all the different concerns on my mind.
I told myself I needed to shut everything else down and just focus at this very moment on the words of truth before me. I think I prayed that, but I don’t remember for sure.
As God helped me concentrate, these are some of the verses I read:
My God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).
God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work (2 Corinthians 9:8).
We have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us (2 Corinthians 4:7).
Instantly, my mind, heart, and soul were at rest. All of these verses were familiar to me, but I needed them once again. Whatever is ahead, on a personal, national, or global level, God’s grace is sufficient.
Decades ago when we took a childbirth class during my first pregnancy, our instructor had a couple from one of her previous classes come back and share their experiences. I remember the new mom saying that during labor, if she thought, “How many hours will I have to do this?” she felt defeated and tired. But if she took each contraction as it came and used the techniques she had been taught, she coped better.
All we have to do is trust God and walk with Him in this very moment. That’s what a walk is, after all—a series of steps. We don’t have grace for what’s ahead, because we don’t need it yet. As we rely on Him step by step, He’ll carry us through whatever we have to face.
When life seems too much, just focus on this moment and rely on your heavenly Father. God’s grace is available every step.
Day by day, and with each passing moment, Strength I find to meet my trials here; Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment, I’ve no cause for worry or for fear. He, whose heart is kind beyond all measure, Gives unto each day what He deems best, Lovingly, its part of pain and pleasure, Mingling toil with peace and rest.
Every day the Lord Himself is near me, With a special mercy for each hour; All my cares He fain would bear and cheer me, He whose name is Counsellor and Pow’r. The protection of His child and treasure Is a charge that on Himself He laid; “As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,” This the pledge to me He made.
Help me then, in every tribulation, So to trust Thy promises, O Lord, That I lose not faith’s sweet consolation, Offered me within Thy holy Word. Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting, E’er to take, as from a father’s hand, One by one, the days, the moments fleeting, Till I reach the promised land.
Updated to add: I wrote this a week ago without thought of Hurricane Helene. If anything would overwhelm, what I’ve seen and heard of Helene’s effects would. My heart goes out to those who are suffering in the hurricane’s wake, and I pray they find God’s presence, comfort, and provision sufficient for all their needs.
When we were taking care of my mother-in-law at home, nothing quite helped like talking to others who were doing or had done the same. They knew by experience what was involved. It’s not that we wanted to gripe about our situation, but there were difficulties and pressures these friends would understand. It’s not that other friends weren’t a help, but with these we felt a freedom to talk like we didn’t always feel with others.
That’s one reason Paul says in 2 Corinthians 2:3-4, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” God comforts us through His Word, His Spirit, and His people.
When this passage came up in our recent ladies’ Bible study, someone pointed out that we need to feel free to be vulnerable with each other, to share when we’re struggling.
I came to that realization some years ago after I contracted transverse myelitis. We got our first computer a few weeks later, and transverse myelitis was the first thing I looked up. In that era before Facebook and message boards, I found a subscriber group of TM patients and caregivers. They were a lifeline to me as I navigated a little-known disease.
I wanted to be a good testimony there. I knew that would mean not hijacking conversations to “preach,” which would not have been well-received. But I wanted to give God the glory for the help and grace He gave and point others to Him. I thought the best way to do that was to always be cheerful and positive.
Some years later, another woman came into the group who was also a Christian. She was very transparent about her frustrations and struggles with TM. She wasn’t complaining, but she was honest. She gave God glory, and it rang true because we saw how He helped her.
I realized we’re not much help to others if we come across as always having everything all together. We’re more authentic when we share our struggles and burdens.
The Sunday after the Bible study session where we discussed these things, our care group met for lunch after the Sunday morning service. Our pastor emeritus had given an excellent message that morning about God’s grace through suffering–in his case, months in the hospital in isolation with Covid, a lung transplant, a blood clot, and more. The host of our care group asked if anyone had anything to share in connection with the message.
One woman shared how hard it was after her son committed suicide. When people asked her how she was doing, and she tried to tell them, she’d have to short-circuit what she wanted to say. She could see by their faces that they weren’t ready for what was on her heart. She pointed out that we need to allow for lament in the church such as the psalmists display. About a third of the psalms are laments, which are different from complaints. The writers conveyed a range of emotions based on their troubles. They eventually reminded themselves of God’s character and love, but they had to spend their grief and confusion first before they could receive it.
Granted, the psalmists did not have as much of the Word of God as we do now, which might have helped with some of their questions. But there are always mysteries as to why God allows certain painful things or doesn’t grant things that seem beneficial.
Paul was honest about his struggles as well:
. . . far greater labors, far more imprisonments, with countless beatings, and often near death.Five times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one.Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea;on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers;in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure.And, apart from other things, there is the daily pressure on me of my anxiety for all the churches (2 Corinthians 11:23-38).
In Peter’s epistles, he was also quite frank about suffering believers experience.
When people are hurting, we want to fix their problems and make them better. But healing takes time. Sometimes pain drowns everything else out. We can’t help others when we apply Bible verses like band-aids over gaping wounds. There is a time to share Scripture. I’ve been greatly encouraged by a shared verse at just the right time. But first we need to listen and “weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15). Sometimes the tender care and concern shared in the midst of someone’s pain will open their hearts to receive truth.
Someone has said that Job’s friends ministered to him much more when they sat with him in silence for a week than when they started talking.
Some years ago, in our early married life, someone at church shared a prayer request for a man who had just been diagnosed with cancer. The speaker went on to say that the wife wasn’t taking the news well.
I thought, “How does someone take that kind of news well?” Wrestling through pain, confusion, and grief doesn’t mean one doesn’t have faith. This woman needed someone to come alongside her, not judge for her initial reaction to devastating news.
There is no one formula for aiding people in their worst times. We need to ask God’s guidance for what to share when. But we need to give them space to grieve. We need to listen, empathize, support, and love without judgment and pat answers.
![2 Corinthians 9:8: And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency[a] in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.](https://barbaraleeharper.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/img_2096.png)
Stray Thoughts 