Laudable Linkage

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Happy Saturday! Here are some good reads I have discovered online recently.

Don’t Waste Your Experience, HT to Story Warren. “In the forums of The Habit Membership, Carey Christian recently posted an essay she had written about her experience as a survivor of the Columbine High School shooting . . . She survived by hiding with classmates in a locked and darkened office for three hours. (You can read the whole essay here.) The heart of the essay, however, is not those three hours of immediate peril, but the fifteen years after.” “It takes time to know what things mean. Writing and reflecting greatly improves your chances of learning what there is to learn from your life.”

Bible Reading Blues? Study Your Stop. “One of the most important questions a Bible reader can ask is what made her stop and walk away midway through. Think back to the last time you abandoned your Bible reading plan—it may have been as recently as this morning. Find your Bible and open to the page where you stopped reading; let’s figure out what went wrong.”

Should Parents Talk to Their Kids About Scary World Events? HT to Story Warren. “Since this digital age has made it virtually impossible to shield our children from disturbing news, parents have no choice but to address the issues head-on. With God’s help, we can provide balance and truth that will empower kids to walk in freedom from fear. Here are some tips to use when talking to children about scary world events.”

The Indispensable, Enduring, and Intervening Work of the Spirit, also from the Story Warren. “Much like the disciples, our heartaches can readily consume our perspective, hijack our story, and overshadow the truth of who God is. When we’re in the midst of hard circumstances, relinquishing our expectations of how things ought be feels frightening and vulnerable. We choose instead, to numb pain, worry obsessively our way through uncertainty, and manipulate people and our environment for a desired outcome. However, what if our insistence on control and holding tightly to our misplaced securities—such as health, finances, work, successes, giftedness, and relationships—hinder us from hearing Jesus? And what if we miss his tender care and reassuring comfort for us?”

Back to the Hospital: A Story of God’s Faithfulness, HT to Challies. A wonderful story of a young woman finding a way to minister as a patient in a mental health hospital.

How Heroes of the Bible Build Faith and Courage in Your Son. “A right understanding of biblical heroes provides a model for many desirable traits that we long for and pray for in our sons. But the Bible is a book about God, not a self-help manual. Scripture provides the faithful reader with a blueprint not just for good behavior, but for godliness.”

Are You Principled or Just a Contentious Jerk? HT to Challies. “The apostle Paul says ‘an overseer must be . . . not quarrelsome’ (1 Tim. 3:2–3). Yet in my experience, quarrelsome people often hide behind the excuse, ‘I’m just principled’ or ‘I’m standing up for the truth when no one else will.’”

When He Loves Someone Else. I don’t know if I have ever seen this topic addressed, but this is a good treatment of it. I don’t remember this incident from Corrie ten Boom’s life—it’s been way too long since I’ve read The Hiding Place.

Busyness . . . God’s Way. “In our hustle culture, the term ‘busy’ often gets a bad rap (and understandably so – sometimes we just flat out are too busy with misplaced priorities!). But just because we aren’t called to hustle and strive and be workaholics doesn’t mean it’s automatically wrong to ‘be busy’. It all comes down to what we are busy doing.”

Finally, this is a cute little film:

Friday’s Fave Five

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Last week was overflowing with favorites. This week has been a little more ordinary—not a bad week, but nothing stood out as a favorite at first. But sometimes those weeks that require a little more scrutiny are more rewarding when we find the blessings in them. We join up with Susanne and others at Living to Tell the Story to recount some of those good things.

1. Lack of a long checkout line. When I shop in a certain big store that starts with a W, I dislike that they only have one or two checkout lanes open, usually with very long lines. They have tons of self-checkouts, which I don’t mind using for a few items—but not for a whole cartful. I usually order online and schedule a pickup time. But I needed to look for some non-grocery items, so I decided to shop for my whole list inside. Surprisingly, I got into a line with only one person on front of me, who was nearly done, and my cashier was very efficient. That may have set a record for my shortest time checking out there.

2. A kind driver let me into a very long lane of traffic as I left the store mentioned above.

3. A successful camping trip. Jason and Timothy went on a father-son camping trip last weekend. They did well and had a good time, and Mittu did well by herself.

4. Insurance can be a pain to pay for and deal with. And when my oldest son’s car got sideswiped by a hit-and-run driver, he wasn’t looking forward to everything involved with taking care of the damage. But thankfully insurance does help. And, most thankfully, he wasn’t in the car when it got hit.

5. Fellowship. We had not had our monthly ladies’ Bible study for a few months due to the holidays and our leader’s having a baby in January. But we met this last Saturday. I have to confess that I am not fond of getting up early on a Saturday, which we do so that everyone is free to spend the rest of the day with their families. But once I get there, I really enjoy the time. And then, our church had a fellowship meal Sunday after the morning service. We had missed the last one due to a family gathering, and I think we may have missed one in December for the same reason. We really enjoyed the time of fellowship.

Bonus: Drop-in visits. I am so thankful most of our kids live close enough that they can text and ask if they can drop by for a little while. I don’t take that for granted—we didn’t live close enough to either of our parents to do that.

Have you found any blessings in your week?

Comforted by the Ways God Uses Us

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We took care of my mother-in-law in our home for five years. Many of you were reading here at that time and offered much prayer, love, and encouragement.

I had a sudden realization about that period of our lives this week. It was such a jolt, and then a comfort, that I thought I’d share it with you.

We had moved my mother-in-law, Colleen, from Idaho, where she lived for 30+ years, to SC, where we then lived, to an assisted living facility. She had to move again when we moved to TN. Then she had to be moved twice when her physical state declined to the point that the facilities could no longer care for her. She ended up in a nursing home, where she declined rapidly. She was 90 lbs. and in a constant fog. We felt she was being neglected, so we brought her home, thinking we were bringing her home to die. But with one-on-one care, she gained weight and became clearer and lived for another five years. I wrote about our experiences, things I learned, challenges we faced, etc., and filed them under Adventures in Eldercare.

My biggest regret from our caregiving experience was that I chafed under most of it. I wanted her to be well cared-for. But I didn’t want to be the one to do it. Of all the things I wanted to be when I grew up, a nurse was never one of them.

Plus, our “nest” was emptying, and though I missed our kids, I had big plans for my free schedule. I was going to write a book and all sorts of things (in the three years since she passed, I still haven’t finished the book, so obviously caregiving wasn’t the main roadblock).

I had to remind myself many times over those years that if caregiving was God’s will for me at that time, that He would give grace to do it; that He doesn’t always place us in positions that use our strengths, but often He puts us where we feel totally weak, that we might find our strength in Him; that caring for one person, even a mostly unresponsive person, in a back room is as much a ministry as preaching to thousands or writing a best-selling book or whatever.

But I can’t say I ever “got” those lessons in a way that stayed with me. I had to repeat them often, sometimes daily.

For some reason, one morning this week my mind wandered to some of the caregivers both in facilities and in our home who . . . let’s say, did not do a good job. I could tell you stories . . . At first I put several of those stories here, but then decided to delete them.

You think, when you’ve researched facilities and placed a loved one in one, that they’ll get the best care possible, that everyone knows what they are doing. But that’s not the case. There are a lot of kind, caring caregivers who do their best. Our dear Jessica, who was Colleen’s main caregiver for 3 1/2 or so years, was a treasure worth her weight in gold. But there were others who were just punching the clock. There were some about whom we wondered what ever brought them into health care in the first place. Did they think it would be an easy job to prepare for or to do? Did they used to be good but then got burned out?

Some of them did a good job as far as the physical things they were responsible for. But they seemed to forget that they were dealing with a person, especially when that person didn’t speak. They’d talk over her to each other instead of to her.

So this particular morning, as my thoughts ran through some of the caregiving situations we encountered, I began to realize that maybe what Colleen had needed most from me was not my nursing care. Maybe what she needed most from me was someone to watch out for her, to advocate for her, to insist that she be cared for in not only the best physical ways, but the most humane ways.

It’s not that we griped to caregiver managers or corrected all the time. We didn’t want to come across as know-it-alls or can’t-ever-be-pleased nitpicky types. We didn’t bring up every single little thing we felt was wrong. We only chose the most vital issues to discuss with the staff at her facilities or at the home health care agency. Still, there seemed to be way too much that we needed to speak to them about.

Years ago, before there were so many personality tests and ways of classifying them as they are now, the main way of sorting personalities was the four spiritual temperaments. I remember poring over Beverly LaHaye’s The Spirit-Controlled Woman. Though no personality classification is perfect, this one made sense to me and seemed a lot simpler than many of the personality classifications today.

My personality, according to that system, was melancholic—an unfortunate name since it sounds like I’m depressed or sad or morose, which I am not. One aspect of melancholics is perfectionism, which, like most personality traits, can be good or bad. Perfectionism can drive one to do the best possible job rather than leaving things done half-hardheartedly. You’d want your brain surgeon to be a perfectionist. But perfectionism can also lead to hyper-criticism and misery when you and everyone else can’t live up to your ideals. This trait “clicked” for me when a guest preacher in our church several years ago, Jim Binney, said that melancholics see things that are wrong and want to set them right.

I felt like much of the care I provided for my mother-in-law felt outside my natural gifts. As I mentioned before, that situation cast me on the Lord like nothing else.

But this particular morning, I realized God had used me in the ways He made me by helping me see the things that were wrong in her care, helping to right them, and eventually bringing her home. It’s not just that this area was one thing I did right in the midst of so much I felt I did wrong or struggled with. But I just felt particularly known and loved and useful in God’s hands. I hope that makes sense.

Whether God uses us as we feel gifted or totally outside our gifts and personality, our sufficiency is from Him.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

How Do We Adorn the Doctrine of God?

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Have you ever come across a passage of Scripture that you’ve read for years, even for decades, and then found yourself questioning what a word or phrase meant that you’ve just glossed over before?

I had that experience recently with the last part of Titus 2:10, which says, “in everything they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior.”

I puzzled over that word “adorn.” My initial thoughts ran something like this: we think of adornments as something we add on, like jewelry or hair ornaments, to make us prettier or more attractive.

But the gospel of God is perfect as it is—we can’t add anything to it to make it better. So what does the Bible mean that we’re to adorn it?

Does “adorning the doctrine of God our Savior” mean making a beautifully stitched or lettered plaque with the gospel message on it? There’s nothing wrong with that, but Paul has a deeper meaning in mind.

I looked up the Greek word for adorn here. In the KJV, it’s translated as “adorn, trim, or garnish.” Other translations say “make attractive.” According to BibleStudyTools.com, the Greek word can mean:

  1. to put in order, arrange, make ready, prepare
  2. to ornament, adore
  3. metaph. to embellish with honour, gain honour

That didn’t help a whole lot. So I looked up the definition of the English word adorn, since translators felt that was a good rendering of the Greek word. According to Dictionary.com, the first definition is the one we usually think of first: “to decorate or add beauty to, as by ornaments.” The second definition shed a little more light: “to make more pleasing, attractive, impressive, etc.; enhance.”

I went back to Titus to look at the verse in context. Titus is a letter from the apostle Paul to one of his helpers, Titus, who was then pastoring in Crete. In chapter 1, Paul stresses the importance of ordaining elders who are men of godly character. He laments those who are “insubordinate, empty talkers and deceivers” (1:10). “They must be silenced, since they are upsetting whole families by teaching for shameful gain what they ought not to teach. . . . Therefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith” (1:11, 13).

By contrast, Titus was to teach “what accords with sound doctrine” (2:1). Paul then goes into instructions for older men and women, younger women and men, so that their works and character lines up with sound doctrine.

Then Paul addresses bondservants. That term makes us bristle these days. I’ve written before about slavery in the Bible, so I won’t repeat all of that here. In an example of God’s timing, I was pondering this passage Wednesday night, and on Thursday morning while making breakfast I heard part of Stephen Davey’s message on Surprising Submission from 1 Peter 2. He explains that slavery in Biblical times was not like slavery as we think of it from the 1800s and before in this country. The Old Testament condemns the type of slavery we usually think of: Deuteronomy 24:7: “If a man is found stealing one of his brothers of the people of Israel, and if he treats him as a slave or sells him, then that thief shall die. So you shall purge the evil from your midst.” So does the New Testament: 1 Timothy 1:8-11 lists enslavers (in the ESV; “menstealers” in the KJV) among those not in accord with sound doctrine. In OT times, often slavery was a way of working off a debt, like an indentured servant. In Rome, Dr. Davey explained, most of the people who weren’t Roman citizens were considered servants. These would be the everyday “worker bees” who made society run smoothly. A relatively small number of Christians was not going to be able to overthrow the Roman economy. God’s instruction was to transform people from the inside out with the truth that everyone is created in the image of God, and in the kingdom of heaven, these distinctions didn’t make any difference.

So, Paul’s instruction to bondservants here doesn’t mean he was condoning the system. His instructions for everyone had to do with how to live within their circumstances in a way that honored and glorified God.

That said, in context this passage says:

Bondservants are to be submissive to their own masters in everything; they are to be well-pleasing, not argumentative, not pilfering, but showing all good faith, so that in everything they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior.

For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works. (Titus 2:9-14).

Even though the word “adorn” is used towards servants, I think it applies to everyone in this passage (and within the church), because Paul’s theme to each group is the same: live lives that are in keeping with God’s truth.

So, then, how do we adorn the doctrine of God our Savior? The whole rest of the letter to Titus tells us how. Here are a few ways:

First of all, we have to believe God’s truth. “And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him” (Hebrews 11:6).

Then Philippians 2:12 says, “work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.” That doesn’t mean work for your salvation: salvation is a free gift of God’s grace. Later in Titus Paul writes:

But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life (Titus 3:4-7).

But we work out our salvation. One of our former pastors used to say it’s like working out a math problem to its logical conclusion. We take those high and lofty ideals and work them out into our everyday lives. God is a God of truth, so we live by truth and tell the truth. God is a God of love, so we show love to Him and others.

The word “self-controlled” comes up a lot in this book, and self-control is one facet of the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:16-26. We don’t blast people with angry words when we feel like it. We don’t steal other people’s goods or steal from our employers by not giving them a good day’s work.

We obey the authorities God has placed over us. That’s not always fun, especially when their faults and foibles are obvious. But we work as unto God.

Paul mentions being “well-pleasing.” Does that mean we’re obsequious sycophants? No, but we make a deliberate effort to get along with others. 

“Not argumentative,” Paul says. Later in Titus, Paul writes, “But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless. As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned” (Titus 3:9-11).  Elsewhere he writes, “Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world” (Philippians 2:14-15). Ouch. Probably half of social media involves grumbling and disputing. Yet even there we should “shine as lights in the world.”

After exploring the passage in context, I looked up other sources on this verse. Spurgeon has a good sermon on this passage here. I liked what Warren Wiersbe said in his Be Faithful commentary on 1 and 2 Timothy and Titus:

This will “embellish with honor” the Word of God (WUEST). When we serve faithfully, we “beautify the Bible” and make the Christian message attractive to unbelievers. When Paul addressed the slaves in Timothy’s church (1 Tim. 6: 1), he used a negative motive: “that the name of God and his doctrine be not blasphemed.” But the positive motive, to make God’s message attractive, and the negative motive, to keep God’s teaching from being slandered, ought to control our lives.”

I don’t think making the gospel attractive to unbelievers means telling them all their problems will be solved when they believe. That would be a lie. Every believer in the Bible had problems. But the gospel is attractive because in Christ we find forgiveness, peace, righteousness, help, guidance, and so much more.

When I started this study, I leaned toward a definition of adornment as making attractive or honoring. While I think those do apply, I can also see the “put in order, arrange, make ready” aspect of the Greek word for “adorn.” We’re to order and arrange our lives to reflect accurately our Savior and the gospel.

Normally my blog posts aren’t so Bible-study-ish. I’ve thought about trying to rework this into something that might look a little more inspirational to read. But I decided to leave it as is. I don’t find such study dry. Each step opened my understanding a bit more. Now I can not only approach this word with more depth next time I read this passage, but I have an overarching principle to keep in mind as I go about daily life: are my thoughts and actions adorning the gospel or marring it?

How about you? Has a word or phrase or concept in your Bible reading ever sent you off on a study? Had you encountered before what it means to adorn the gospel?

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Laudable Linkage

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Here’s my latest collection of good reads found online.

A Better Love Song: Suffering and God’s Great Love For Us, HT to the Story Warren. “Do you pluck from the circumstances sent by our heavenly Father to determine whether he loves you? Some circumstances feel loving, others don’t. When he makes you lie down in green pastures and leads you beside still waters (Ps. 23:2), do you sing, ‘he loves me!’? When he calls you to walk through the valley of the shadow of death (Ps. 23:4), does your heart whisper, ‘he loves me not’?”

How Do I Know I’m Really Repentant? HT to Challies. “What does a repentant heart look like? Does it just look sad? Timid? Is it simply agreeable? How would we discern the difference in ourselves between a heart turning from sin and one seeking simply to manage or alleviate the consequences of it?”

Bible Interpretation Is More Than Stacking Verses, HT to Knowable Word. “We cannot merely stack up Bible verses, making biblical claims based on a handful of verses that are isolated from their immediate and broader biblical contexts. We must interpret the Bible rightly. . . Satan shows us that quoting out-of-context phrases and sentences that seem handy in the moment can be a dangerous game.”

Context Matters: The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things. “This is no inspirational teaching, so you won’t spot it on posters or mugs. But I see this verse dashed into arguments like salt in soup. Are we using using this verse properly? When we learn to read the Bible like a book and not as isolated bullet points, we’ll see that some familiar phrases don’t mean all that we’ve always assumed.”

Your Suffering Is Valid Even When Others Have It Worse, HT to Maree. “I understand what we are trying to do when we play down our troubles because they are small in comparison to what others are experiencing. We’re trying to put things in perspective so we can be grateful, avoid feeling sorry for ourselves, and be compassionate to others. However, I think minimizing our troubles can sometimes be harmful. It leads us to ignore our feelings, which can increase our stress, cause feelings of self-doubt, harm our self-esteem, and heighten our anxiety.”

Did We Kiss Purity Good-Bye? HT to Challies. “Calls for sexual purity were (and are) biblical and needed. Even in the midst of the good that was done through lots of preaching and discipleship during those years, several lies seemed to spread in the renewed emphasis on purity — each laced with enough truth to be taken seriously and yet with enough deceit to lead some astray.”

4 Traits of an Emotionally Healthy Ministry Worker, HT to Challies. “If you’re serving in ministry, you have likely been encouraged to prioritize your spiritual health. You may have been exhorted to pay attention to spiritual disciplines that will shape you into the best possible leader, teacher, or minister. All of this is good. The Bible implores us to pay careful attention to ourselves (1 Tim. 4:12–16). But spiritual vitality is not the only area of health ministry workers need to pursue. Your emotional health is also essential.”

Can Christians “Do Business” With the World? HT to Challies. “People on both sides of this issue believe that we may not compromise the holy standards of God. We all agree that we must not capitulate to our culture’s definition of right and wrong, and that we must resist calls for Christians to redefine biblical ethics. However, it is one thing to stand strong on what God defines as sin, but it is another to say this requires us to boycott any business that is involved tangentially with sin.”

How to Avoid Misinformation and Disinformation Online, HT to Proclaim and Defend. “God’s ninth commandment—do not bear false witness—is being obliterated by social media (Ex. 20:16). Where untruth takes root, social trust declines. Friends begin doubting friends because we increasingly agree, ‘I can’t tell what’s true anymore.’”

The Surprising Value of Reading Fewer Books, HT to the Story Warren. “Reading more books doesn’t make us (or our kids) a more well-read person. You’re not more well-read than someone who read three books carefully and well if you speed-read ten in the same amount of time. You’re not getting more out of your books simply because you’ve read a taller stack of them. The number of books that our kids read and that we read matters a lot less than the quality of our reading.”

Finally, this adorable kitten reminds me that even though we might not reach a goal on the first effort, each try strengthens us, and one day we’ll get there.

Happy Saturday!

Friday’s Fave Five

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Though there’s so much serious trouble in the world right now, it helps to look for the good in our lives. Susanne at Living to Tell the Story invites us to do just that each Friday.

1. Family dinner. Jason and Mittu had us over Friday night for tilapia, potatoes, mixed vegetables, homemade gluten-free rolls, and these cute and tasty gluten-free apple turnovers and blueberry cobbler. I had just been craving apple turnovers! We enjoyed a couple of games as well.

2. A quiet weekend. We had six inches of snow late Friday night to Saturday morning. Because we had been warned ahead of time, we ran all our errands Friday. On Saturday, Jim experimented with the 3D printer he had received on his birthday, and I caught up on some computer stuff and then did some “puttering” around the house—a little mending, tidying the craft/sewing room, figuring out how to set the clock I had in there.

While setting things right in the sewing room, I came across these two dish towels I had bought at Hobby Lobby a few weeks ago, still in the shopping bag. I love shopping for home things from Valentine’s Day through spring, because then I can find them in colors I like—light, pastels, especially pinks that aren’t too orangey or reddish.

3. A cozy Sunday. Usually after church and lunch, we’ll take a nap, then I’ll read blogs on the computer. Since I had caught up my computer reading Saturday and not much new had come in, I got out my Karla Dornacher coloring books and colored pencils while watching some of her videos about how she does shading. I don’t color often, but I strongly wanted to that day. It was very relaxing. Plus I had fun experimenting with what she calls gradient lettering.

4. Pi Day. Since 3.14 is the number of pi, we use that date as an excuse to eat pie. 🙂 I made hamburger pie for dinner and Mittu made a delicious Mississippi Mud Pie for dessert.

5. A surprise visit. Jesse called Wednesday afternoon to say the power had gone out at his apartment complex (the whole complex, not just his building). He asked if he could come over for dinner and then borrow our cooler in case he needed to transfer items from his refrigerator. We enjoyed having him for dinner and offered him the use of our guest room if he needed it. He decided to go back to his place, and the power was back on by the time he got there. I haven’t heard what caused the outage.

Bonus: Maybe the end of time changes. The Senate passed a bill to make Daylight Savings Time permanent rather than changing our clocks twice a year. The bad thing about DST year-round is that sunrise will occur later in the morning, which is a problem for children waiting for school buses. But a lot of businesses like having more daylight in the evenings. A lot of employees do as well, so they have a little light after work rather than driving home in the dark. I’ll just be glad not to have to adjust both physical clocks and my body clock twice a year.

Have you found blessings in your week? Feel free to share in the comments here or at Susanne’s.

The Small House at Allington

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The Small House at Allington by Anthony Trollope houses three occupants in the 1860s. Mrs. Dale is a widow with two teenage daughters, Lily and Bell. Lily is lively and outgoing, almost a little saucy, and rash sometimes. Bell is quieter and more mature.

The “small house” belongs to the manor house owned by Squire Dale, Mrs. Dale’s brother-in-law. The squire had not cared for his brother’s wife, but he wants to care for her girls since his brother died by giving them a place to stay and introducing them to society they otherwise would not have encountered. Mrs. Dale and the squire maintain a polite atmosphere but avoid each other as much as possible.

Bernard Dale, the squire’s nephew by another brother, stays with the squire several months out of the year and is in line to be the squire’s heir. Lily and Bell don’t mind the squire’s preference for Bernard: they’re simply grateful for the squire’s beneficence toward them.

On one of Bernard’s lengthy visits, he brings a friend, Adolphus Crosbie. Crobie falls in love with Lily “with all his heart,—with all the heart that he had for such purposes.” And though he thinks she is a dear, sweet girl, he has high ambitions. Crosbie knows Lily has no money or rank and therefore would not be welcome in the circles he aspires to. They become engaged, and Lily gives her whole heart to Crosbie. However, inwardly he wonders about an earl’s daughter he met from de Courcy castle.

Johnnie Eames is a neighbor of the Dales’ and has loved Lily since childhood. But he dares not speak to her of his feelings. He knows he has nothing to offer. Lily senses his regard and is kind to him, but does not encourage him. John is now a clerk living in a boarding house in London. His landlady’s daughter sets her cap toward him, not out of love, but to entrap him into a commitment. It seems if a girl had written proof of a man’s matrimonial intentions towards her, and then he backs out, she could sue him.

Doctor Crofts is a dear friend of the family and loves Bell, but he is early in his practice and does not have much money.

Meanwhile, Squire Dale wants Bernard and Bell to marry (I guess cousins could wed in those days). Bernard doesn’t love Bell, but he’s amenable to the arrangements. Bell, however, only thinks of Bernard as a brother and does not want to hear about marriage. It’s not until Bell refuses, multiple times, that Bernard begins to be in earnest about wanting to marry her,

Whew. Though much of the book traces this romantic heptagon, there are other strands of plot as well. There are a couple of other romances—or at least flirtations—not involving these characters.One young man helps an earl out in a crisis, and the earl becomes a patron and mentor of sorts. One young man rises in others’ regard while another sinks, though they make similar mistakes. Some of the office politics of both are seen.

I especially enjoyed the growth in Mrs. Dale’s and the squire’s relationship. He is described as one of those men who comes across as gruff, but really does have a tender heart.

All of these happenings are couched within the times. Trollope makes wry observations regarding class consciousness, gossip, hypocrisies, city vs. town life, etc. A couple of examples: when two of the young men come to blows over the wrongs of one of them, an older lady who is a righteous, upstanding woman and the moral center of her set expresses “by the light of her eyes anything but Christian horror at the wickedness of the deed.” When the police are called over the incident: “‘What’s all this?’ said the superintendent, still keeping on his hat, for he was aware how much of the excellence of his personal dignity was owing to the arrangement of that article.”

The ending was disappointing to me. One character got his comeuppance in a away. But one couple I was rooting for didn’t come to the end I had hoped. I saw one character’s name in some chapter titles of the next book, so perhaps their happy ending comes later.

Still, I enjoyed the book as a whole.

This book is the fifth and next to last in Trollope’s Chronicles of Barsetshire series. Though several of the characters are new, it was fun to see several old friends from earlier books. When I read the fourth, Framley Parsonage, I decided maybe I’d better go ahead and read the rest of the series in succession so I didn’t have to remind myself of who the characters were and their relationship with each other with each book.

The Kindle edition of this book is free at this time, and the audiobook was included as part of my Audible subscription. They were synced so that I could pick up where I left off in either one, which worked out nicely. Simon Vance was the excellent narrator for this, and I think for all the Barsetshire series I’ve listened to.

I’m counting this for the “Classic set in a place you’d like to visit” for the Back to the Classics Reading Challenge.

The Dangers of Success

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There are scores of books, articles, blog posts, podcasts, and sermons about dealing with trials and suffering. And that’s good, because we need them.

But I don’t know that I have ever seen any material about the dangers of success.

What danger can there be in success? Especially success that we’ve prayed and trusted God for?

One potential danger of success is forgetting who gave us that success. God had warned Israel about forgetting Him once they got settled in their land.

Take care lest you forget the Lord your God by not keeping his commandments and his rules and his statutes, which I command you today, lest, when you have eaten and are full and have built good houses and live in them, and when your herds and flocks multiply and your silver and gold is multiplied and all that you have is multiplied, then your heart be lifted up, and you forget the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery, who led you through the great and terrifying wilderness, with its fiery serpents and scorpions and thirsty ground where there was no water, who brought you water out of the flinty rock, who fed you in the wilderness with manna that your fathers did not know, that he might humble you and test you, to do you good in the end. Beware lest you say in your heart, ‘My power and the might of my hand have gotten me this wealth.’ You shall remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you power to get wealth, that he may confirm his covenant that he swore to your fathers, as it is this day. And if you forget the Lord your God and go after other gods and serve them and worship them, I solemnly warn you today that you shall surely perish. Like the nations that the Lord makes to perish before you, so shall you perish, because you would not obey the voice of the Lord your God (Deuteronomy 8:11-20).

The New Testament echoes this truth: “What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?” (1 Corinthians 4:7).

Another danger of success is pride. Perhaps forgetfulness leads to pride. Uzziah started out as a good king of Judah who “did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, according to all that his father Amaziah had done. He set himself to seek God in the days of Zechariah, who instructed him in the fear of God, and as long as he sought the Lord, God made him prosper” (2 Chronicles 26:4-5). The Bible goes on to tell of Uzziah’s accomplishments, feats, and even inventions. Then we read this sobering statement: “He was marvelously helped, till he was strong. But when he was strong, he grew proud, to his destruction” (2 Chronicles 26:15-16).

Saul, Israel’s first king, fell into the same pattern. When he was chosen king, he hid among the baggage and people had to look for him (1 Samuel 10:17-24). He saw himself as “little in his own eyes” (1 Samuel 15:17). But then he became too concerned with how the people regarded him.

“One’s pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor” (Proverbs 29:23).

Both of these kings went from pride to presumption. They stepped into duties God had given priests, not kings. God then rejected Saul as king (1 Samuel 13:8-15) and turned Uzziah into a leper (2 Chronicles 26:16-23).

Presumption led to further disobedience (1 Samuel 15). Saul’s decline is one of the saddest stories in history. He became jealous, irrational, untruthful, and even murderous. “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18).

It’s an odd thing, isn’t it, to know God’s help, to know success was only available because God provided it, and then to be proud because of it–proud not of God, but of self, as if we did anything all by ourselves. Yet it happens all too easily.

Rosalind Goforth, one of my heroes for many reasons, writes in Climbing: Memories of a Missionary’s Wife of marvelous answers to prayer. Often she was supposed to speak to a group of women, yet her schedule was so full with caring for her children, homemaking, and regular ministry work that she couldn’t make time to study and prepare as she would like to. She writes of jotting down notes or studying her Bible while nursing a baby, or crying out to God in prayer before a speaking engagement and then being given a perfect outline of a message.

Sadly and humbly, I must confess that many, many times when I cried out to the Lord for power in speaking and evident power was given, I had not left the platform before the thought would come, “I have done well today.” Then would come the cry for forgiveness (pp 112-113).

I can confess to similar experiences.

How can we counter that tendency to exalt self instead of God?

My dear mother-in-law once said she had such a tendency toward spiritual pride that she withdrew from any kind of ministry in front of people. I understand her heart. But if we all did that, how would any of us minister to anyone else? We can’t do everything anonymously, though there are times to meet people’s needs “behind the scenes.” We’re not supposed to hide our lights under bushels.

Here are a few actions that help me:

Remember. Remember the ways God has led us along, His “Ebenezers” to us. Remember His Word; be in it regularly to keep our minds saturated with God’s perspective.. Remind ourselves that without Him we can do nothing  (John 15:4-5), that His strength is made perfect in our weakness (1 Corinthians 12:8-10).

Humble ourselves. “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you” (James 4:10). “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6). Humbling is not the same thing as belittling. “There’s no need to shrink yourself down or deflate your gifts. That’s not humility any more than inflating your importance. Take an honest look at who you are and what you’ve been given” (Influence: Building a Platform That Elevates Jesus (Not Me) by Kate Motaung and Shannon Popkin). Martin Luther said, “God created the world out of nothing, and so long as we are nothing, He can make something out of us” (quoted in Influence, p. 65).

Acknowledge our dependence on God. I try to pray most mornings that God would fill me with the fruit of His Spirit as a way to remind myself I can’t manufacture a right spirit on my own.

Focus on ministering as unto the Lord. “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ” (Colossians 3:23-24).

Focus on others. Philippians 2:3-4 says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride [I love the KJV word vainglory here], but in humility consider others more important than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Jesus said that whoever would be great must serve others, and even He did not come to be ministered to, but to minister (Mark 10:42-45).

Be grateful. Thanking God for His provision and enabling helps remind us that everything came from Him.

Look to Jesus: We become more like Him by beholding Him.

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father (Philippians 2:5-11).

Kevin DeYoung and Trevin Wax discuss a modern-day dilemma along these lines: book publishers expect authors to promote their own books, to build a “platform.” Yet how can one do that without being prideful? I appreciate their thoughts here, especially this from Trevin:

But I’m still conflicted about blogging about my book. Maybe that’s where I need to be. Maybe this is the Spirit’s method of rooting out sinful motivations and spurring me on to holiness.

Maybe God is saying, “I don’t ever want you to be totally comfortable with self-promotion, even if some promotion will result in more people buying a book that is beneficial to the church.” Maybe God wants me to remember that my motives are never completely pure, and even my best intentions are tainted with sin.

That tension between promoting the message God gave us and yet wanting to be careful not to exalt or promote self can help keep us balanced.

Ecclesiastes 7:14 sums it up well: “In the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of adversity consider: God has made the one as well as the other.” Both success and failure have their purposes. May we keep our eyes on Him in either case.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Laudable Linkage

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Here are some of the good reads I’ve discovered recently. Maybe some will pique your interest, too.

On the Fence, HT to Challies. “The midst of a car accident is not the best time to consider whether or not Jesus is who He says He is. Although it’s better than never considering the Jesus question, it’s still not the optimal time.”

War. “Some think that mankind can be educated to the point where he will never desire to resort to brutal force in the settlement of problems. That theory is certainly proven wrong in this case. There are three questions that many people ask concerning wars. Why do wars occur, why does God permit them to take place and will we see peace in our generation?”

Are You Getting in the Way of God’s Work? HT to Challies. “Being an instrument of God means that we live in a paradox. On one hand, God does significant things through us to advance his kingdom, and on the other, we are acutely aware of how much better things could go if we weren’t constantly tripping over our own feet.”

On What You Put in Your Head: Toto, We’re Not in Eden Anymore. “While there’s great joy in romping through fields of wildflowers, we know that the pastoral scenes in novels and movies aren’t really accurate. There are ants at the picnic and snakes in the woods. The world is a broken place; it’s really not a good idea to follow my recommendation in the previous post—’learn all you can about everything you can’—without putting some sensible limitations in place. We’re not in Eden anymore. How do we decide which trees in the garden to sample?”

Showing Mercy in a Feeding Frenzy. “They could almost have been us—people who so often delight to tear one another apart, to focus on flaws more than virtues, to be critical rather than encouraging, harsh rather than tender, vindictive rather than merciful. I recently found myself studying the Parable of the Good Samaritan and marveling at its example of mercy.”

The Disproportional Response, HT to Challies. “There’s something deeply disturbing about our cultural moment when it comes to how we respond to being hurt, offended or disagreed with. It’s no longer enough to cut down the poppies, now we have to scorch the earth they were planted in too. When it comes to our churches, this should give us pause and prompt us to deep, and maybe even painful reflection. Are our churches places where loving one another, bearing with one another and exercising costly forgiveness are still the kinds of things that mark us out from the surrounding culture?”

Does My Son Know You? HT to Challies. A moving article about a sports writer’s journey with cancer and his father’s early death from Parkinson’s.

How Can I Expect My Children to Honor Me Since I Am a Sinner, Too? HT to Challies. “I was recently asked this question at a conference. Have you ever wondered the same thing? Certainly, as parents, we blow it. Can we still ask our children to honor us?”

The Lord’s Prayer for Writers, Part 1. Though this is written for writers, it’s a good study of the first part of what we call “the Lord’s prayer” for anyone.

A Right Big Mess Was Made By All, or, The Transformative Powers of Mud. “Today I am challenged by this memory; I have been daily cursing the mud and dirt dragged into our home by my children as they try to find rays of sun and active pastimes in our backyard. I’ve resented what the dirt represents: carelessness on the part of my children. Work for me. But writing out this fantastic and hilarious and ridiculous memory has taken me back, and I hope transformed me a bit, again.”

Finally, going along somewhat with the previous article, this is a sweet video about a boy’s adventures with his grandfather and a red wagon:

Happy Saturday!

Friday’s Fave Five

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It’s so easy to get caught up in the negative and let the positive pass by without much notice. Fridays offer us a time to stop, reflect on the past week, and recount the good things courtesy of Susanne at Living to Tell the Story.

1. Forecast. Our early spring is due to be interrupted this weekend by snow and 12-degree nights. That’s not the favorite, though. The good part is the weather is due to warm up again next week.

2. Jim’s birthday. It’s always a joy to celebrate my dear husband.

3. Tires. Jason had an appointment to get new tires, but before the appointment one of his developed a large hole. He had his car towed in, but the company from which he buys his tires had been hacked into and wasn’t operational. Thankfully, we had a vehicle we could loan him in the meantime. We just got word yesterday that the tires had finally come in.

4. Sleep. It’s odd–I love sleep and its benefits, but I hate going to bed. I think in the later evening, when there’s nothing going on and no demands on my time, I like to relish that time to just read or whatever. But then when I am up too late, or I doze off on the couch and then wake up and get ready for bed, I pay for it the next day by either needing a nap or dragging. I’ve been making a concerted effort to go to bed earlier, and it does help.

5. Not cooking, as you know, is one of my favorite things. Besides the time off from meal preparation, it’s nice not to have to think what to make and then clean up the kitchen afterward as well. Sunday we picked up Sarku Chicken Teriyaki on the way home from church. Then one night when Jim was away, I tried one of Domino’s sandwiches (not very good, I am afraid. But I had been wondering about them, and now I know). Then last night, my grocery store and drug store runs took longer than expected, and I brought home Wendy’s (and discovered their chocolate chip cookies are wonderful).

How has your week been? Don’t forget to turn your clocks ahead this weekend.