Laudable Linkage

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Here’s another list of good online reads:

To the Woman Who Is Deconstructing. “You’ve been raised with one understanding of who God is, what His Word means, and how you’re supposed to live, but lately the foundation of your faith feels a little . . . fractured. Something you’ve read or experienced or felt has changed you. It’s like you’re wearing a new pair of glasses. Everything you thought you knew about Jesus suddenly looks very different.” I don’t know that I’d equate deconstructing with questioning—though deconstruction probably begins with questions, it seems to indicate those who have gotten past the questions to actually dismantling their belief system. Nevertheless, this post has some good encouragement for when questions about faith come up.

Pastor, Your People Need the Hard Texts, HT to Knowable Word. Good for writers and teachers, too. “We love the highlights of Joseph and Genesis 39. But we also need the lowlights of Genesis 38. God meets us in the lowlights. It’s there in the wreckage of our lives that God shows us the way out.”

Who Gave You the Right? “The sanctified instinct of the Christian heart should not be to discourage but to encourage, not to further demoralize other people but to give them strength, to give them heart, to give them courage.”

Focusing on What I Can Measure, HT to Challies. “My physical health is more than the numbers I can measure. And my spiritual health is, too. It’s always tempting to focus on what I can measure in my relationship with God.”

Patience: More Than a Virtue for Motherhood, HT to The Story Warren. “The last thing I wanted to hear as I hurried the kids to get ready for church were the words I had spoken to them many times during the week, “Mom, remember patience is a virtue and a fruit of the Spirit.” They can’t remember to say thank you or where they last left their shoes, but they remember this?! I was beyond impatient. I was angry and aggravated—but also convicted. How easy it was to come up with such a memorable and catchy quotable to use on my kids, but how hard it was for me to receive it back from them!”

Identifying Stanzas in Lamentations. An interesting, different, and inspirational way to look at probably the most well-known passage in Lamentations—through the pronoun shifts.

How to Brainstorm a Nonfiction Writing Project. I think this would be good for brainstorming other things as well. I tend to just jot lists, but I can see value in this method.

How to Feel Comfortable in Front of a Camera. Often when trying to get a group photo, someone will protest that they hate having their picture taken. As people try to draw them in, they protest more. By trying not to call attention to themselves, they draw more attention. And I’ve often thought, “We all know what you look like anyway!” It’s not like no one else will see them because they’re not in a photo. But I have known of people who grieved because they had few photos of a departed loved one who always shied away from the camera. April‘s tips will help, whether you’re in a photo with a group or alone.

This video, HT to Steve Laube, reminds me of Psalm 8:3-4: “When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?” The God who created the vastness of all the planets and stars and space cares about us and the details of our lives.

Friday’s Fave Five

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It’s Friday, time to look back over the blessings of the week
with Susanne at Living to Tell the Story and other friends.

It has been a good week for staying indoors. Here are some highlights from the beginning of August:

1. Dinner out and free pie. I had plans to meet a friend for lunch at O’Charley’s for their free pie Wednesday. Unfortunately, my friend texted me the day before that she was sick. I was sad that she wasn’t feeling well and couldn’t get together. And I had my taste buds all set for that pie. So I asked my husband if he wanted to take his wife out for dinner and pie, and he indulged me.

2. Dinners and a celebration. My and my son daughter-in-law invited us to their place Sunday night for enchiladas. Then yesterday she texted me to say she could bring over dinner Thursday night. I was a little surprised, since they had just made dinner for us so recently. Come to find out, the meal was a celebration of my 15th blogging anniversary, along with pink roses and a sweet card.

3. Lunch take-out. I didn’t intend to make my faves all about food this week, but not having to cook is always a favorite. There’s an Asian restaurant we like, but it’s a little too far out for takeout generally. However, it’s not far from our church, so we swung by there after the Sunday morning service to get lunch and bring it home.

4. An overdue haircut. The stylists at the place I go have always done an okay job, but I finally found one who does the layering the way I like it best.

5. A little project. I saw this idea of shells and fairy lights in a Mason jar, but when I saw this lantern in Hobby Lobby, I loved it. Thankfully it was half off and I had a gift card. I had a container of potpourri with shells and little blue balls and flowers that I filled the lantern with.

Bonus: An inspirational movie. I mentioned in my book review for Unconditional by Eva Marie Everson that I had watched the movie the book was based on. Jim came in for the last part of it. I thought it was very good, all the more so for being based on true events.

How was your first week of August?

Unconditional

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Unconditional by Eva Marie Everson is based on a movie by the same name, which in turn was based on true events.

Samantha Crawford loves her life, living on a ranch with her beloved husband, Billy, riding her horses, and writing and sketching children’s books.

Then tragedy strikes. Billy is gunned down in an alley in a poor part of town.

Samantha loses her belief in God’s love and goodness. She doesn’t write any more.

At her lowest point, Samantha encounters a child hurt by a hit-and-run driver. Taking the child and the child’s brother to the hospital, Samantha runs into one of the children’s neighbors—her best from from school, Joe Bradford.

As Samantha reconnects with Joe, she learns he has kidney disease. But he spends his time ministering to the children in his neighborhood. He and his girlfriend, Denise, provide after-school snacks, attention, affirmation, and encouragement. But Joe’s time is running out unless he can get a kidney transplant.

Observing Joe’s simple faith and ministry, Samantha’s heart starts to warm again. But she’s also driven to find her husband’s murderer, convinced that the police have given up on the case. And she thinks she just may have found him—in Joe’s neighborhood.

I had not heard of the movie, but picked up this book on a Kindle sale because I had enjoyed some of Eva Marie Everson’s books. I didn’t know when I started reading it that it was based on a true story. “Papa Joe” Bradford started Elijah’s Heart to aid at-risk children.

Finding out the story was true made it even more heart-warming and inspirational than it already was. In an interview, Joe Bradford says about 97% of film is true to his life and the Samantha character is a composite of different friends.

The movie used to be on Netflix, but isn’t any more. However, it’s online here and on YouTube here. I enjoyed watching it last night. The book uses scenes and dialogue from the movie, but includes more information. Here’s a trailer for the film:

Have you seen or read Unconditional? If not, I hope you do.

15 Favorite Posts from 15 Years of Blogging

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I mentioned in my end-of-July post that I forgot my blogging anniversary until WordPress sent me a reminder. It’s been fifteen years!

Often in the past I’ve done something special to observe my blogiversary. Since it caught me off guard this year, I didn’t have anything prepared.

I had been pondering ways to bring some of old posts back to the forefront, since they were published before I knew some of you. Then, voila! The idea came to list fifteen of my favorite blog posts to commemorate my fifteenth year of blogging. There won’t be one from each year—that would have taken too much time to search out. But these were either fun to write or were special to me in some way.

So here we go, in no particular order:

  1. Coping when a husband is away. This is my top-viewed post of all time. I had no idea it would touch such a chord. My husband had to travel heavily for at least half, maybe as much as two-thirds of our 41-year marriage. Though I didn’t like it, I am thankful God used what He taught me to help others.

2. How Not to Become an Old Biddie. After seeing examples of different kinds of older ladies, I realized I needed to start working on what kind of older lady I want to be now. (Related: Why Older Women Don’t Serve and Ways Older Women Can Serve.)

3. With All Our Feebleness. Reflections on serving God with physical and other limitations.

4. My Ebenezers. In 1 Samuel 7:12: “Samuel took a stone . . . and called its name Ebenezer; for he said, ‘Till now the Lord has helped us.’” “Ebenezer” means “stone of help.” In this post, I listed some of my verbal “Ebenzers,” commemorations of the Lord’s special help in my life.

5. Having Devotions When You’re not Feeling Very Devoted. We’ve all been there, I’m sure. (Related: When There Is No Hunger for God’s Word.)

6. Strong Women. What feminine strength means and doesn’t mean, with literary and Biblical examples.

7. Encouragement for Mothers of Small Children in the area of trying to find quiet time with the Lord.

8. The Back Burner. The stuff on the back burner is all the more flavorful for its time sitting and simmering. So with the things in our lives we have to set on the back burner: they’ll be all the better for the wait.

9. Why Read? Why Read Fiction? Why Read Christian Fiction? Every reason I could think of for reading all of them.

10. Can Frugality Go Too Far? Even good traits can be carried too far.

11. It’s Not For Nothing. Caregiving can seem monotonous and futile when the patient sleeps most of the time, can’t speak, and isn’t interested in food, as was the case for my mother-in-law her last two years in our home. These were truths that encouraged me. (Related: Remembering the Loved One Who Has Forgotten You.)

12. Manufactured Spirituality. Routines and programs can help us spirituality, but sometimes we focus on them to the detriment of real spirituality.

13. The Quiet Person in the Small Group. How not to torture your introverts.

14 Going to a Church with Problems. They all have them, even the ones in the Bible. (Related: What You Miss When You Turn Your Back on Church.)

15. Myths and Maxims of Ministry gleaned over many years. Myth #1: “Since this is being done for the Lord, everything should go smoothly.” Nope!

These are the posts that floated to mind. If I had actually searched every year’s posts, I might have had a different list. But there’s probably a reason these are the ones that came to mind.

As you’ve noticed, I cheated stretched my numbers a bit. Sometimes I couldn’t decide between a couple of posts on a similar topic, so I included one as “related.”

I’ve noticed that I should probably go back and edit some of the older posts. One of the tendencies my first critiquer at a writer’s conference pointed out was “long, convoluted sentences” that should be broken into two sentences (or three or four). Hopefully some day I can correct those in my older posts.

Thank you so much to all of you who read and comment. Without you, this would just be an online journal. Nothing makes me day like hearing that something here has blessed and helped someone.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers)

Under His Shadow

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It’s hot. I’ve run errands in a high temperature, humidity, and heat index. My car has air conditioning, but the seats are hot and the AC takes a few minutes to cool off. After several hot-then-cool transitions, I’m feeling a little nauseated.

When I get home, shoes come off, the AC is turned up, the ceiling fan is turned on. I get a cold drink, and I sit down to cool off and dry out. I may even have ice cream or a root beer float.

Not so many years ago, all those options weren’t available. We didn’t have central air conditioning in our house when I was a child. We didn’t even have a room unit. We attempted to take parent-mandated naps with windows open and an oscillating fan cooling off head or feet, but not both at the same time.

When my aunt bought a home with central air, I thought it was so luxurious to nap in the coolness of her room with dark blue curtains that shut out the sunlight.

In older times, and even now in some countries, refuge from the scorching heat is first sought in shade: under a tree, in the shadow of a building, anything that will put a barrier between people and the blazing sun.

Shadows can represent many things: the Bible uses the metaphor of shadows to illustrate the brevity of life or the nearness of death. But often Scripture speaks of shadows in reference to God. His shade provides:

Protection. Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings (Psalm 17:8). David prayed this seeking refuge from enemies. We can pray it when weary of a world that opposes God or weary of our own fight against sin. Some of those seeking David’s life were a former friend and his own son. People will fail us: God never will.

Refuge. Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by (Psalm 57:1).

Provision. How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings. They feast on the abundance of your house, and you give them drink from the river of your delights (Psalm 36:7-8).

Joy. For you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy (Psalm 63:7).

Shelter. He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” (Psalm 91:1-2).

For you have been a stronghold to the poor, a stronghold to the needy in his distress, a shelter from the storm and a shade from the heat; for the breath of the ruthless is like a storm against a wall (Isaiah 25:4).

Keeping and care. The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life. The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore (Psalm 121:5-8).

Delight and sweetness. As an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. With great delight I sat in his shadow, and his fruit was sweet to my taste (Song of Solomon 2:3).

Forgiveness and fruitfulness. The prophet Hosea pleads, “Return, O Israel, to the Lord your God, for you have stumbled because of your iniquity. Take with you words and return to the Lord; say to him, ‘Take away all iniquity” (Hosea 14:1-2a). God promises that if they will do this, “I will heal their apostasy; I will love them freely, for my anger has turned from them. . . . They shall return and dwell beneath my shadow; they shall flourish like the grain; they shall blossom like the vine (Hosea 14:4-7b).

In the March 30 reading of Edges of His Ways, Amy Carmichael wrote, “If the Bible had been written in England, there would not have been nearly so many words about the comfort a shadow can be. But it was written in countries where the heat could be very great and where great open plains of burning sand make the shadow of a great rock something to be remembered.” She then shared her poem “I Follow Thee,” which captures the idea of shelter from heat as well as Israel’s flight from Egypt:

Shadow and coolness, Lord,
Art Thou to me;
Cloud of my soul, lead on,
I follow Thee.
What though the hot winds blow,
Fierce heat beats up below?
Fountains of water flow –
Praise, praise to Thee.

Clearness and glory, Lord,
Art Thou to me;
Light of my soul, lead on,
I follow Thee.
All through the moonless night,
Making its darkness bright,
Thou art my heavenly Light –
Praise, praise to Thee.

Shadow and shine art Thou,
Dear Lord, to me;
Pillar of cloud and fire,
I follow Thee.
What though the way be long,
In Thee my heart is strong,
Thou art my joy, my song –
Praise, praise to Thee.

Are you hot, weary, depleted, in need of shelter and refuge? Come under His shadow.

This is a beautiful piece based on the Song of Solomon passage, set to music by Elizabeth Poston: “Jesus Christ the Apple Tree”:

(I often link up with some of these bloggers)

Laudable Linkage

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A collection of good reading online

Here are a few of the noteworthy reads found online this week:

Teachable, HT to Challies. What teachability is, isn’t, contrasts with faux teachability. This hit on a number of points I’ve been thinking about lately.

Joy and Idol-Smashing, HT to Challies. “If I’m not reading my Bible, praying diligently, loving my church, hiding God’s Word in my heart, then my earthly relationships, especially the closest ones, will suffer from my inattention to Jesus. I can’t see my idols if I’m not looking at Jesus.”

Judge Not Lest You Be Blind, HT to Edie Melson. “Choosing not to judge someone else? It’s called grace — and judging others, as Dietrich Bonhoeffer says, blinds us to grace. I want to be more lavish with grace, while ignoring the impulse to judge. After all, how would I want others to respond to me? With judgement … or with grace?”

Sticks, Stones, and Words . . . Can Cut Me Deeply, HT to Linda. “Words transform. They heal. And they can…and sometimes do…’hurt me.’”

The 7 Types of Rest that Every Person Needs, HT to Linda. “Have you ever tried to fix an ongoing lack of energy by getting more sleep — only to do so and still feel exhausted? If that’s you, here’s the secret: Sleep and rest are not the same thing, although many of us incorrectly confuse the two.”

Even to Your Old Age: New Life for Christian Grandparents, HT to Challies. “What does the Bible say about grandparenting? Very little. Although past generations matter significantly to the biblical authors, the Bible does not give grandparents specific attention. The word grandparent does not even appear in the English Bible. Nevertheless, we know this role is essential to God, our extended families, and our local churches.”

Recommended, HT to Challies, a not-so-hypothetical short story.

This was one of my favorite Olympic moments. A teenager from Tunisia won a gold medal when not expected to. When discussing the swimmers, the announcers didn’t even mention his name til almost halfway through the race. The last few seconds of the last lap were pretty exciting!

Happy Saturday!

Friday’s Fave Five

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It’s Friday, time to look back over the blessings of the week
with Susanne at Living to Tell the Story and other friends.

Not just another week, but another month is coming to an end. It’s time to stop for a few minutes and appreciate the good things of the week.

1. Watching the Olympic opening ceremonies with the family. I made spaghetti, Mittu made Oreo cupcakes. We didn’t realize Team USA wouldn’t be coming into the stadium until near the end, so everyone here had to go before that happened. But it was a fun evening.

2. Olympic gymnastics. I’m not much of a sports fan, but I do like watching gymnastics in the summer Olympics and figure skating in the winter. I’ve caught a couple of the swim meets as well.

3. The retirement home service our church does once a month has occurred often enough now that some of the residents recognize us. The ones who come out regularly seem a cheerful bunch. The lady Jim and I have talked with the most wasn’t there this time. We were told her leg was hurting to the point of being unable to walk (she had a hip replacement after a bad fall a few years ago). An aide offered to take us to her room, but her son was with her and we didn’t want to intrude. I sent her a card this week and ordered a book for her—when it comes in I’ll see if I can go over and visit her in her room.

4. My patient husband hung a big piece of art work and a couple of shelves in our new guest room on Saturday. I can handle a hammer and nail, but I appreciate his help with things that need more than that.

5. Jeopardy! episodes on YouTube. Jeopardy! has had a series of guest hosts for the last several months since Alex Trebek passed away. The one I was most looking forward to, Levar Burton, is hosting this week. But our local station isn’t showing this week’s episodes due to the Olympic Zone program. The Jeopardy! web site seems to only have old episodes. I was pretty bummed about not being able to see them until someone suggested they might be on YouTube. And they were, at least the first couple! I hope they will all be eventually.

Anything interesting happen for you this week?

July Reflections

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Elisabeth Elliot used to say that when she spoke on a certain topic, she would be tested on that topic right before or after she spoke. Boy, have I experienced that since writing about impatience and frustration Monday! One example: Tuesday I was making a card that I wanted to send out that day. It wasn’t essential that I mail it off that day, but that was my desire. After I cut out the scrapbooking paper I wanted to use, I noticed red splotches all over the paper and the blank card. Then I noticed blood on my finger. I must have gotten a paper cut at some point. So I had to go wash my finger, get a bandaid, toss the paper and card, and start all over. That made me late getting done and running my errands, and I came home late and very hot and sweaty. Then I requested getting hamburgers for dinner since I did not feel at all like cooking, and happily, my husband agreed. So it ended up well. 🙂 I don’t even remember what the other issues were, but they were all little things and all tested my desire to be calm and patient.

In other news . . . It’s hot. Very hot.

My fifteenth blogging anniversary passed by forgotten until WordPress reminded me. I’ve very much enjoyed it, especially getting to know many of you.

Family

We enjoyed a long 4th of July weekend and grilled hamburgers here. We celebrated my middle son’s birthday this month at his house with grilled chicken and S’mores cake.

We’re continuing to work on the guest room. My husband painted a desk for me and put new hardware on it. My son and daughter-in-law gave us their queen bed since they wanted a king-sized one. We put curtains and shelves up as well as the main piece of art work over the bed. The room is in a usable state for when my oldest son comes to visit next month, but there are still a few things I’d like to get done in there. I’ve been enjoying the process.

Creating

I made a few more cards than usual for July. This was for Jason’s birthday:

The beard was done on the Cricut.

These two were done for different friends going through various issues:

The “I’m thinking of you” sentiment is a stamp that I’ve had for ages.

This one was for friends who just recently revealed they are expecting a new little one early next year:

The little “onesie” shape was done on the Cricut.

Reading

Since last time, I have finished:

  • The Book Woman of Troublesome Creek by Kim Michele Richardson is a novel that ties together two interesting historical factors: the blue people of Kentucky and the Pack Horse Librarians. Very interesting!
  • Heaven Sent Rain by Lauraine Snelling. Christian contemporary fiction about a scientist and entrepreneur who notices a boy with his dog outside her office building. She buys the boy breakfast, beginning a regular habit. Then he calls her when his dog is in an accident, and she is pulled into his family’s life. Very good.
  • Three Shall Be One by Francena Arnold. An older Christian fiction book (published in 1953) about a young couple with extreme in-law issues. Neither are believers. Despite a couple of implausible plot twists, it’s a sweet story.
  • The Summer Kitchen by Lisa Wingate. Contemporary Christian fiction about a woman getting her uncle’s house ready to sell and who gets involved with several people in the low-income neighborhood.
  • Out of the Shadows by Sigmund Brouwer. Excellent mystery or suspense about a man recalled to Charleston, SC, a city he had agreed never to return to. He’s lured by promise of information about the mother who abandoned him as a child.
  • A Southern Season: Stories from a Front Porch Swing, four stories set in the South by Eva Marie Everson, Linda W. Yezak, Claire Fullerton, and Ane Mulligan. Very good.
  • Ten Words to Live By: Delighting In and Doing What God Commands by Jen Wilkin. Excellent nonfiction about the Ten Commandments.
  • The Secret War of Charles Fraser-Smith, the “Q” Gadget Wizard of World War II by Charles Fraser-Smith. Fascinating true story about a man tasked with procuring and hiding supplies to British soldiers and agents during WWII.

I’m currently reading:

  • Be Equipped (Deuteronomy): Acquiring the Tools for Spiritual Success by Warren Wiersbe
  • The Good Portion—Scripture: The Doctrine of Scripture for Every Woman by Keri Folmar
  • Unconditional by Eva Marie Everson
  • The Man Who Was Q: the True Story of Charles Fraser-Smith, the ‘Q’ Wizard of World War II by David Porter
  • Anne Morrow Lindbergh: Her Life by Susan Hertog (audiobook)

Someone asked me in a comment recently how many books I finish a week. It varies from zero to three, but it’s usually one or two.

I usually finish around 70+ a year. I usually have four going at a time: one on an audiobook that I listen to while driving, dressing, doing housework; one on my Kindle app that I usually read a little while in the evenings until I get too sleepy; one in the bathroom ( 🙂 ); one Christian nonfiction that I read on Saturdays, the day our church Bible reading program doesn’t have anything scheduled. I can only do that if they are all different. If I read more than one contemporary Christian fiction or WWII book or whatever at the same time, I’d get them mixed up. I expanded on this a few years ago in Finding Time to Read.

Blogging

Besides the weekly Friday’s Fave Fives and almost weekly Laudable Linkages and book reviews, I’ve shared these posts:

  • 14 Reasons to Read the Old Testament. Many of us gravitate to the NT, but it’s built upon and entwined with the OT.
  • Remembering How God Has Led. “My heart was tender thinking back over God’s working in my life. As I opened my Bible reading for the day, I came to Deuteronomy 8:2: ‘And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness.’ It’s amazing how God prepares me for what I am going to encounter in His Word.”
  • Don’t-ing or Doing. “The Bible does have a lot to say about what we should not do. . . . But the Bible doesn’t stop with a list of ‘don’ts.’ ‘So flee youthful passions,’ 2 Timothy 2:22 says. But it goes on to say, ‘and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.'”
  • Battling Anger, Frustration, and Impatience. “When a flash of anger or frustration or impatience flares up, I pray for forgiveness and try to gain the right perspective. . . . Lately I’ve wondered if there’s a way to head that flare-up off at the pass. ‘Good sense makes one slow to anger’ (Proverbs 19:11). So I sat down one afternoon and sought some good sense ‘to be renewed in the spirit of [my] mind’ (Ephesians 4:23).

Writing

Not much besides the blog.

In August, our oldest son coming for a visit. His time here will include both his birthday and mine. My husband will take that week off, and we’re looking forward to lots of family time with the whole gang together.

How was your July?

(I often link up with some of these bloggers)

A Southern Season: Stories from a Front Porch Swing

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I picked up A Southern Season: Stories from a Front Porch Swing because I liked the title and concept. Plus, I had read several books by one of the authors, Eva Marie Everson, and heard her speak at a writer’s conference I attended virtually.

The book contains four novellas written by different authors. Each story takes place in the South in different seasons.

the first is Ice Melts in Spring by Linda W. Yezak. Since her husband’s drowning, Kerry Graham had avoided the coast. But now she has been requested by a reclusive author to come and catalog the items the author is donating to the museum Kerry works for. As the author lets down her guard and shares from her life, Kerry finds they have more in common than she knew.

In Lillie Beth by Eva Marie Everson, Lillie Beth was overjoyed not only to fall in love, but to escape her abusive home life. After she married David, Lillie Beth lives with David’s Granny while he goes to Viet Nam. But David doesn’t come home: he is killed in action.

Meanwhile, a Dr. Gillespie comes to town to help and then replace the town doctor. Dr. Gillespie’s wife had died, and he feels God has abandoned him. As the doctor helps Lillie when Granny is dying, he sees Lillie Beth’s simple faith and strength of character.

In Through an Autumn Window by Claire Fullerton, Cate returns to her Memphis hometown after her mother passes away. Her brother perpetuates their sibling rivalry until the two of them face a common enemy.

In A Magnolia Blooms in Winter by Ane Mulligan, Morgan James is living her dream as a Broadway actress. It was harder to break in than she thought. While waiting to hear whether she got her first leading part, her mother calls her home. The man leading the Christmas play has been injured. Since Morgan wrote the play, and her mother is responsible for the man’s accident, her mother asks Morgan to come help out. Morgan finds unexpected joy in directing the play and helping other young actors. When she reconnects with an old flame, she struggles with the thought of giving up what she thought was a God-given dream to act on Broadway. But could God have given her that dream for a specific purpose and season?

I enjoyed all these stories. Some were sad, some were funny. All were poignant and hopeful. The title fit well: this was a good book for summer evenings.

(Sharing with Carole’s Books You Loved)

Battling Anger, Frustration, and Impatience

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You might not suspect it, but I have a short temper sometimes. I don’t yell. I grew up with yelling and didn’t want it in my home. But I tend to seethe silently, which is no better (and certainly isn’t healthier).

Of course, some anger is justified. Ephesians 4:26 says, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” But the next verse warns, “and give no opportunity to the devil.” There are a number of warnings in Proverbs and other Scriptures about the dangers of anger.

What trips me up most often are dumb little things. Like trying to get one coat hanger, which somehow makes others fall down. Or the easy-open package which doesn’t live up to its description. Or tossing a plastic bottle into the recycling bin only to have it bounce out and roll under the car.

When a flash of anger or frustration or impatience flares up, I pray for forgiveness and try to gain the right perspective.

I pray for patience. People say not to do that because, since “tribulation worketh patience” (Romans 5:3, KJV), you’re asking for more tribulation. But I am asking for grace to respond better when even these minor tribulations show up.

Lately I’ve wondered if there’s a way to head that flare-up off at the pass. “Good sense makes one slow to anger” (Proverbs 19:11). So I sat down one afternoon and sought some good sense “to be renewed in the spirit of [my] mind” (Ephesians 4:23).

We live in a fallen world. Stuff will go wrong. The computer will mess up just as I was finishing my work. Ants will find their way into my kitchen, despite having a whole big world outside to explore. Weeds will grow faster than plants. Ever since the fall of man in Genesis 3, life has been harder than it was before.

In my early adulthood, we didn’t have the plethora of personality profiles we do today. No one had heard of the Enneagram or Meyers-Briggs. All we had to go by were the four temperaments. Some Christian books on the subject were very helpful in understanding myself. But it was a preacher who shared in passing something that was a big eye-opener to me. He mentioned that melancholics (my personality type, but not meaning sad) liked things to be right. They’re often seen as critical (and can be), but that’s an outgrowth of wanting to fix what’s wrong.

But there’s no way I can personally set everything right, from hard-to-open packages to social justice. I can only do what’s before me to do. I ask God to set things right and pray for grace to deal with the everyday frustrations of life.

Who am I, that I should expect everything to go my way? I’m running late and get frustrated with red lights, as if the whole transportation system should rearrange itself for my benefit. I get angry at the driver who cut me off or took the parking space I was aiming for, as if I had a right to those spaces over him. A lot of my frustration boils down to selfishness.

Giving way in small things makes it easier to give way in big things. I used to think it wasn’t necessarily wrong to take anger out on an inanimate object when I was alone. It didn’t have feelings, and I wasn’t ruining my testimony. But letting myself “lose it” in those moments just makes it easier to keep responding the same way. As the old hymn says:

Yield not to temptation,
For yielding is sin;
Each vict’ry will help you,
Some other to win;
Fight valiantly onward,
Dark passions subdue;
Look ever to Jesus,
He will carry you through.

Ask the Savior to help you,
Comfort, strengthen and keep you;
He is willing to aid you,
He will carry you through.

H. R. Palmer

Impatience and frustration are not Christlike. “Whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked” (1 John 2:6). “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God” (Ephesians 5:1-2). Yes, Jesus got angry. But when He overthrew the money-changer’s table in the temple and cursed a fig tree, those incidents were not flash-in-the-pan exasperation or losses of temper. They were a demonstration of His authority and a small preview of the judgment to come. In His dealings with everyday people, He was meek and kind.

For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.(1 Peter 2:21-23)

The fruit of the Spirit. Last week I talked about not just “don’t-ing,” not just concentrating on what we’re not supposed to do, but pursuing what we are supposed to. For the past few weeks I have been asking God every morning to fill me with His Holy Spirit and work out His fruit in my life. Then I recite the fruit of the Spirit to myself: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance. Keeping those things at the forefront of my mind will hopefully incline me more toward them than the flesh.

Meditating on God’s Word. In addition to the passage about the fruit of the Spirit and anger, verses like these melt my anger away:

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:30-32)

Anger and frustration are not worth the consequences, physically (high blood pressure, headaches, etc.), mentally (letting the next minutes be ruined by a sour attitude over some frustration) or spiritually.

Remember little things are just little things. Don’t let them foment into a bigger problem.

Take practical measures. Stop struggling with the package and just get the scissors. Leave the house with a cushion of time. Set reminders so I don’t forget things.

Let God use frustrating circumstances for good. Elisabeth Elliot wrote in Keep a Quiet Heart:

Everything about which we are tempted to complain may be the very instrument whereby the Potter intends to shape His clay into the image of His Son–a headache, an insult, a long line at the check-out, someone’s rudeness or failure to say thank you, misunderstanding, disappointment, interruption. As Amy Carmichael said, “See in it a chance to die,” meaning a chance to leave self behind and say YES to the will of God, to be “conformable unto His death.” Not a morbid martyr-complex but a peaceful and happy contentment in the assurance that goodness and mercy follow us all the days of our lives. Wouldn’t our children learn godliness if they saw the example of contentment instead of complaint? acceptance instead of rebellion? peace instead of frustration?

Elisabeth once quoted what George MacDonald said in What’s Mine is Mine: “Because a thing is unpleasant, it is folly to conclude it ought not to be. There are powers to be born, creations to be perfected, sinners to be redeemed, through the ministry of pain, to be born, perfected, redeemed, in no other way.”

A Chinese proverb says, ‘”A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.” 

Amy Carmichael once wrote:

The hardest thing is to keep cheerful (and loving) under little things that come from uncongenial surroundings, the very insignificance of which adds to their power to annoy, because they must be wrestled with, and overcome, as in the case of larger hurts. Some disagreeable habit in one to whom we may owe respect and duty, and which is a constant irritation or our sense of the fitness of things, may demand of us a greater moral force to keep the spirit serene than an absolute wrong committed against us. [Houghton, Frank. Amy Carmichael of Dohnavur. (Fort Washington, PA: Christian Literature Crusade, 1983), 86-87]

I make my prayer Colossians 1:11 (KJV): “Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness.” Not just patient and longsuffering, not just “grin and bear it,” but joyful!

What helps you to battle impatience, frustration, and anger?

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