On asking God why

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Elisabeth Elliot wrote a book by that title which I read and learned much from years ago, though I don’t remember much specific about it now. But this excerpt comes from a chapter titled “Ever Been Bitter?” in Keep a Quiet Heart:

Is it a sin to ask God why?

It is always best to go first for our answers to Jesus Himself. He cried out on the cross, “My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?” It was a human cry, a cry of desperation, springing from His heart’s agony at the prospect of being put into the hands of wicked men and actually becoming sin for you and me. We can never suffer anything like that, yet we do at times feel forsaken and cry, Why, Lord?

The psalmist asked why. Job, a blameless man, suffering horrible torments on an ash heap, asked why. It does not seem to me to be sinful to ask the question. What is sinful is resentment against God and His dealings with us. When we begin to doubt His love and imagine that He is cheating us of something we have a right to, we are guilty as Adam and Eve were guilty. They took the snake at his word rather than God. The same snake comes to us repeatedly with the same suggestions: Does God love you? Does He really want the best for you? Is His word trustworthy? Isn’t He cheating you? Forget His promises. You’d be better off if you do it your way.

I have often asked why. Many things have happened which I didn’t plan on and which human rationality could not explain. In the darkness of my perplexity and sorrow I have heard Him say quietly, Trust Me. He knew that my question was not the challenge of unbelief or resentment….

I don’t understand Him, but then I’m not asked to understand, only to trust. Bitterness dissolves when I remember the kind of love with which He has loved me–He gave Himself for me. He gave Himself for me. He gave Himself for me. Whatever He is doing now, therefore, is not cause for bitterness. It has to be designed for good, because He loved me and gave Himself for me.

Friday’s Fave Five

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Susanne at Living to Tell the Story hosts a “Friday Fave Five” in which we share our five favorite things from the past week. Click on the button to read more of the details, and you can visit Susanne to see the list of others’ favorites or to join in.

1. School’s out! Jesse’s school has a teacher’s conference for a couple of days.

2. The Biggest Loser. I only started watching the show last year. I don’t like the trainers’ yelling in faces, but I love seeing the contestants’ progress. I loved that everyone did well and no one got sent home this week.

3. Triple chocolate chip cookie from the Barnes and Noble Cafe. Jeremy brought one back for me when he went out there this week. It was perfect — fresh and soft. And no, the irony is not lost on me that I mention that after mentioning The Biggest Loser — or that I received it while watching that show.

4. Picking up my cross stitch again. I had set it aside before Christmas and just got it out again this week. I like working on it while watching TV — unless it’s something really suspenseful and needs full attention.

5. Jasmine rice. Jeremy, my oldest, has been teaching himself to cook in anticipation of leaving the nest one day. He’s very much a by-the-book cook whereas I tend to throw things together, substituting or leaving out ingredients I don’t have. He has taught me a few things! I’m finding out those little touches can make a big difference. Something he made called for jasmine rice, and I really liked it. It comes out better for me and takes a little less time than long grain, but has a better texture than Minute rice. I used it for the first time myself in one dish this week, and really liked how it came out.

I’m off to the doctor this morning — NOT a favorite thing. But it’s been well over a year since I have been there, and they won’t refill my prescriptions unless I come in. I know, I know, how demanding. 🙄 Just kidding. I don’t mind the not eating before the lab work that much, but not drinking is really getting to me. I almost always have something to sip on close at hand. This will be my first “over 50” appointment where I already know she’s going to want to discuss some of those over-50 things they like to schedule…so I am not looking forward to that. But, I’ll be around to visit you all later on today.

Helpers

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I’ve mentioned that I am rereading Becoming God’s True Woman, a series of messages to women edited by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Today I finished the latter half of the chapter “A Wife’s Responsibility to Help Her Husband” by Barbara Hughes, which was reprinted from her book Disciplines of a Godly Woman, which I’ve not read. One part particularly stood out and spoke to me this morning.

In Genesis 2:18, before creating woman, God said, “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”

This doesn’t mean, of course, that the man never helps the woman or that the woman never does anything else in life but sit beside the man waiting to see what he wants help with. The fact that we feel the need to clarify and explain this underscores the truth of what Barbara goes on to say:

So why does our blood pressure rise at the mention of the word helper? It’s a cultural norm for us to associate weakness and even inferiority with the one who assists. No one wants to play second fiddle. But the fact is, without a second violin there is no harmony.

And harmony, my friends, is a beautiful thing.

Then later in the chapter she points out that in John 14:16 Jesus promises His disciples that the Holy Spirit will come to them after He has ascended back to the Father: “And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever.” Some versions use the word “Helper” in place of Comforter. The Holy Spirit is by no means an inferior member of the Godhead, yet part of His role is that of helping believers. Barbara goes on to say:

By addressing the Holy Spirit as a helper, Jesus forever elevated the position of one who assists. Trace the Holy Spirit’s actions through the New Testament, and you’ll find the Spirit repeatedly encouraging, comforting, coming alongside, and helping. The work of the Holy Spirit, the Helper, is beautiful!…

So Christian wives must never resent or despise the term helper or consider it demeaning. To help is divine!

Good reminders!

Random Dozen Meme #3

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Hosted by Linda at 2nd Cup of Coffee.

1. Please share one middle school memory. It can be good, bad, ugly, funny. Pictures or words, I don’t care, just share.

I had junior high rather than middle school — it wasn’t until a few years after that that schools in our area went to a middle school format. 7th grade is mostly a blur — I was only in that area one year. Before 8th grade we moved to a new town that was THE most clique-ish place I have ever been in. There were three distinct “groups” in school, and they didn’t seem open to new people. I spent the first few weeks of the school lunch hour walking around by myself crying. Finally a girl named Dawn befriended me. A couple of years later when I had made friends with a few other people and started dating one guy, they urged me to “drop” Dawn, but I said no way. All of that may have been the Lord’s protection, though — years later I found out some of the most popular kids were into some pretty unwholesome things, including one guy I’d had a crush on. That was a vulnerable time in my life because those were the years leading to my parents’ divorce. If I had gotten in with that group of kids, who knows what kind of trouble I would have ended up with.

2. What’s your favorite Beatles song?

I’m not really a Beatles fan, but in my teens I liked “Yesterday.” I don’t know why — it was kind if depressing.

3. If I asked you to describe your most comfortable outfit, what would it be?

Most of my everyday outfits are pretty much the same style: a dress of lightweight woven fabric that is loose but not baggy.

4. Would you rather host a party or be a guest?

I’m not much for parties, but I’d rather be a guest. I enjoy hosting when I do it, but I find it stressful.

5. Do you think we will move completely from traditional books to digital ones, and if we do, are you OK with that?

I hope we never do. I think most people who enjoy reading enjoy more than just absorbing words: there is that whole feel and experience of holding a book…not to mention my eyes feel strained at just the thought of trying to read much in one of those tiny screens. But I can see the portability of digital ones, especially when traveling.

6. Do you learn best by reading, listening or experiencing?

It depends on what it is I am learning. I do better with a task by listening while experiencing, but overall I’d say I learn most by reading.

7. If you are (or when you were) single, what is the kiss of death for you concerning the opposite sex? (That is, what is one trait or behavior or habit or anything at all that immediately turns you off from considering that person a potential match for you?)

Self-absorption, selfish, thoughtless behavior.

8. Snacks. Salty or sweet?

Usually sweet though sometimes I crave something salty.

9. Look around you in a four foot radius. What object is around you that you didn’t realize was there or forgot was there? How long has it been there?

A vase from my son and daughter-in-law’s wedding that I need to return to them.

10. What is your favorite Tom Cruise movie?

I don’t think I have seen many Tom Cruise movies. The only one that comes to mind is the first “Mission: Impossible.” I saw it on TV, so if it had any bad language or scenes, they were cleaned up, and I enjoyed the suspense.

11. You buy a bottle of shampoo and discover that you don’t like what it does to your hair at all. What do you do with that full bottle?

I might offer it to someone else, with full disclosure as to why I don’t want it, but if no one wants it I eventually throw it out. I was thinking I couldn’t take it back to the store unless there were something actually wrong with it, but I don’t know — some may have a money-back guarantee. But if that involves sending the unused portion back, I don’t think it would be worth it.

12. Your favorite Fall comfort food? (Last week it was beverage.)

Quick breads — banana bread, pumpkin bread, zucchini bread…mmmmm…

A Thousand Words In idioms: The Bookish Version

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If “language is the dress of thoughts” ( Johnson), then idioms must the wardrobe.

Jientje at Heaven Is In Belgium hosts A  Thousand Words In Idioms on Wednesdays wherein she asks participants to illustrate an idiom or two with a photo.

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By the book.

If someone goes “by the book,” they are going exactly by the rules or established procedures, or sometimes literally by what a book says to do. I illustrated that with a list of “How to” books because if someone is looking for a book about how to do something, they are wanting to go to some extent by the book.

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An open book.

If someone’s life is an open book, they have no secrets, no skeletons in the closet; they’re open to scrutiny without fear of what anyone will find. A variation is “his or her face is an open book,” meaning they don’t or can’t hide their feelings. You can pretty much tell their reaction or what they’re thinking by looking at them.

I know we’re only supposed to do two — but of the three I have I can’t decide between just two. So I hope you’ll forgive me for including one more.

My Bible

The Good Book.

Sometimes people refer to the Bible as the Good Book. It is that — but it is so much more than just that.

What’s On Your Nightstand: September

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What's On Your NightstandThe folks at 5 Minutes For Books host What’s On Your Nightstand? the fourth Tuesday of each month in which we can share about the books we have been reading and/or plan to read. You can learn more about it by clicking the link or the button.

I forgot this occurred on the fourth Tuesday! I thought it was coming next week, so I am scrambling here.

I finished this past month:

How Do I Love Thee? by Nancy Moser about the relationship between Elizabeth Barrett and Robert Browning, reviewed here. It took a while for it to grab me, but when it did, it was hard to put down.

Fatal Illusion by Adam Blumer, reviewed here. Grabbed me from the first chapter!

Things Left Unspoken by Eva Marie Everson, reviewed here. Enjoyed it very much.

I have also been getting caught up on a few magazines.

I am currently rereading Becoming God’s True Woman edited by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

I just posted my Fall Into Reading goals, but the first two in the queue are A Surrendered Heart by Tracy Peterson and Judith Miller and The Missing by Beverly Lewis.

Now if ony the laundry would do itself and dust-covered end tables became fashionably acceptable…

Fall Into Reading 2009

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Happy First Day of Autumn!

With the first day of fall comes the start the Fall Into Reading Challenge sponsored by Katrina of Callapidder Days. More information is here, but the basic idea is to post a list of books you’d like to read this fall and share that via the links on Callapidder Days Fall Into Reading post. It is just a list of goals — there is no need to feel pressured, to feel like you’ve failed if you don’t read everything on your list. Sometimes something unexpected comes up, sometimes we read something other than what we listed. But it is fun to share our reading goals with others — my TBR list has expanded greatly by seeing what others are reading. Plus it is a way make time for books I had been wanting to read but just hadn’t picked up yet. Plus there are prizes! Posting guidelines are here. And even though it starts September 22, I think you can join in any time during the fall season. Then on the last day of fall, December 20, we write a wrap-up post about what we did actually read, and Katrina usually has discussion questions we can answer if we want to.

So, here is the list of books I would like to read this fall:

Christian Fiction:

A Surrendered Heart by Tracy Peterson and Judith Miller, third in the Broadmoor Legacy series.

The Missing, second in the Seasons of Grace series by Beverly Lewis.

American Haven by Elisabeth Yates.

Plain Perfect by Beth Wiseman.

The Heirloom by Colleen L. Reece and Julie Reece-DeMarco, given to me by my friend, Carol.

My Heart Remembers by Kim Vogel Sawyer.

The Hidden Flame by Janette Oke and Davis Bunn. second in the Acts of Faith series. This doesn’t come out til Dec. 1, but I think I can get it in.

Nonfiction:

How To Read Slowly by James W. Sire. I keep saying I am going to read that and keep not getting to it. But I plan to.

Becoming God’s True Woman edited by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. I had read it earlier this year but am going through it again.

Dr. Frau: A Woman Doctor Among the Amish by Grace H. Kaiser.

My Heart Restored, a Bible study by June Kimmel.

I do have many more both on my shelves and on a list of books to read, so if I get through all these, I still have many more to choose from.

I also usually like to include one classic novel, but I don’t have a specific one in mind yet. Then again, I have so many other books stacked up to read, perhaps I’d better just concentrate on those.

You can visit the sign-up post at Katrina‘s to check out what others are reading or to join in.

Book Review: Things Left Unspoken

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Things Left unspokenOne of the unexpected blessings of blogging about books is that every now and then I hear from an author. Eva Marie Everson commented on my earlier review of one of the Potluck Club books and e-mailed me a while back to offer to send me a copy of her new book if  I would like to review it. Of course I jumped at the chance!

In Things Left Unspoken by Eva Marie Everson, Jo-Lynn Hunter has come home to Cottonwood, Georgia, for the funeral of her great-uncle Jim, who had been like a grandfather to her. She discovers while there that a company wants to revitalize the town, “bringing it back to its former glory,” renovating or replacing old buildings, bringing in new businesses, etc., and they want to use Aunt Stella’s house as a museum.  Unhappy in her marriage and on indefinite leave from her job as an interior decorator, Jo-Lynn accepts her great-aunt’s invitation to stay and renovate her home. But as she digs into the work, she begins to uncover clues to more than one old family secret, and sightings of strange men leaving the barn at night and increasingly serious acts of vandalism indicate that someone wants those secrets to remain unknown.

Some parts of Aunt Stella’s story are told in a series of flashbacks, so the reader is in on it early on, but the rest is uncovered in Jo-Lynn’s research along the way. J0-Lynn has to wrestle with the state of her marriage and the consequences of her agreement with her husband not to have children as well as the realization that Uncle Jim might not have been the kind of man she thought he was.

This book took me back to my younger days with my great-Aunt Jewel. I was not as close to her as Jo-Lynn is with Stella, but the setting, the relationships, the vivid immersion into old Southern culture was much the same and brought back warm memories. As a reader I liked being in on the one secret, wondering how or if it would come to light, while being in on Jo-Lynn’s other discoveries along the way. I really liked how the book ended, which was a little different from where I thought it was going.

As a Christian, my only quibble is with Jo-Lynn’s thoughts about her relationship with God. When she says she knows God personally and has gone to church all her life, on first reading it sounded to me like she was basing her relationship with God on her church attendance rather than on faith. But looking back over that section again, I can see that the church attendance was part of her life of faith and not necessarily the basis of it. In the parts of the South I have lived in, people are prone to believe they are Christians because of such things rather than having a personal relationship with God based on faith, so I might be more sensitive to that than other readers. I don’t think every book of Christian fiction necessarily has to spell out the full plan of salvation, but I do like for any mention of it to be crystal clear.

Eva Marie’s own Southern heritage gives the book its authentic ring, and while the story is not from her own family, it is based on an old home of her great-grandparents. The theme of renovation touches many levels. I enjoyed the story very much.

(This review will be linked to Semicolon’s Saturday Review of books.)

Wise vs. Foolish Women

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In the book Becoming God’s True Woman, Nancy Leigh DeMoss has a chapter on discretion which includes a study of the foolish woman in Proverbs 7. That triggered a further (though not exhaustive) study. Here are some of her characteristics (sentences within quotes are Miss DeMoss’s unless otherwise noted):

  • She uses flattering words (also translated “smooth” or “seductive” in other versions), v. 5, 21.
  • She is in the wrong place at the wrong time by choice; she goes to a place where it is easier to stray, vv 12-15.
  • She dresses like a prostitute, v. 10.
  • “She is religious; she tries to spiritualize her sensuality and immorality with talk about sacrifices and offerings,” v. 14.
  • “She is not satisfied with the mate God has provided…Rather than looking to God to fulfill the deepest needs and longings of her heart, she focuses on what she does not have and looks to others to meet those needs. Rather than pouring her love, attention, and devotion upon her husband, she invests her heart, energy, and efforts in another man,” vv. 18-20.
  • She is subtil or wily of heart, “crafty in her intent” (“the inward attitude that produces the outward manifestation”), v. 10.
  • She is loud, stubborn, an impudent, vv. 10-13. “She does not exercise restraint or self-control…She is headstrong and defiant against God’s law and against the obligations of morality.”
  • She is a gadabout, not content at home, v. 11 (see also I Timothy 5:13),
  • She is aggressive in her relationship to men, v. 13-15.
  • She is “consumed with physical, temporal values rather than that which is enduring,” v. 16-18.
  • “She is indiscreet — she talks freely about intimate subjects that should be reserved for conversation with her husband,” vv. 16-18.
  • She “does not understand the nature of true love. True love is giving, not getting…She is a taker rather than a giver. She seeks immediate gratification….She fails to think about the long-term consequences of her choices.”
  • She indulges in what she thinks is secret sin while her husband is away, forgetting that God sees.
  • Though others are responsible for their own sins, she uses her influence to bring them down rather than building them up, vv. 21-27.

Miss DeMoss points out that even though we may not consider ourselves to be full-blown foolish women, we need to be on guard against subtle foolish characteristics creeping into our lives.

By contrast, the wise woman:

Another vivid contrast between the wise and foolish woman is in Proverbs 9, where, interestingly, they start out with the exact same invitation.

Citizens, do not be alarmed…

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…if you see these beings skulking around your neighborhood.

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It’s just my son and his friends with their Airsoft guns. Somehow they derive great fun from shooting each other with plastic pellets. (Not my idea of fun, but they like it.)

Actually, one time they were playing in an undeveloped part of a friend’s apartments, and a lady who saw them called the police. Tip: The orange tips on the end indicate toy guns.

Jesse had a few friends over who brought all their Airsoft guns, and we took them to Jason and Mittu’s house last night because they have a back yard perfect for that kind of thing. Mittu made munchies, Jeremy made homemade pizza, I brought another birthday cake, and we all had a good time. Then we came home and the boys played video games til the wee hours. Egg sandwiches and doughnuts this morning, more video games and more shooting.

Teen-age birthday get-togethers are much different from children’s! Different, but fun.