Irritating or Irritable?

Posted on June 29, 2025 by Barbara Harper

When one of my sons was a child, he got hold of the word “irritating” – as in, “Mo-ooom, he’s irritating me.”

We tried to teach our boys not to irritate each other on purpose, not to hit, tease, “bother,” bait, infringe on the possessions or person of the other, etc. But sometimes in everyday living together, we’re going to irritate each other.

After listening to whatever had irritated my young son, I would deal with the issue. But when the complaints of irritation grew, I would say something like, “You need to work on not being so irritate-able” (pronounced on purpose for emphasis). That was not a satisfying answer. The problem is with the other guy, Mom! You need to make him stop!

I need to heed my own advice. I find myself getting far too irritated far too often. Sometimes it’s the other thing or person that is being irritating, or causing the issue: the ~~stupid~~ recalcitrant computer, the driver who wasn’t watching what he was doing, the Alexa device that can’t handle a simple request, etc.

But too often, it’s just a matter of my own irritate-ableness. Touchiness, my mom used to call it.

Honestly, little irritations trip me up spiritually much more often than major trials.

So what can I do when I am feeling irritable?

Remember we live in a fallen world. Appliances and cars break down at the most inconvenient times. Traffic jams seem to occur when I am most in a hurry. We all have sin natures that won’t be completely eradicated until we get to heaven. I shouldn’t be surprised when things go wrong or when there are occasional misunderstandings.

Fix the issue, if possible. Find out if there is something wrong with the computer, leave early so every red light isn’t aggravating, slow down and take the necessary time to accomplish something so haste doesn’t create more problems, gently ask the other person to refrain from or change whatever they are doing,etc.

Forbear. A former pastor used to say forbearing was just good old-fashioned putting up with each other. Ephesians 4:1-3 goes a step further and speaks of “forbearing one another in love” (“bearing with” in some translations).

Humble myself. The verses mentioned speak of humility and meekness. Who am I to think that the entire world should revolve around my preferences? Colossians 3:12-14 also speaks of forbearance in the context of “kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering,” and forgiveness.

Focus on the other person. When I am fixated on an irritating behavior in someone else, I view the whole person through that lens. Instead, I need to focus on that person as another child of the Father whom He loves every bit as much as He loves me and seek ways to serve him or her.

Do unto others as I would have them do unto me. I need to remember that I’m probably unwittingly irritating someone else who is being forbearing with me. I need to handle the irritations that come from other people as graciously as I would want them to handle mine.

Don’t make excuses. There are certain times, seasons, hormones, and circumstances that make one more susceptible to irritability. I admit it is really hard for me to be civil, much less loving, when I haven’t had enough sleep. And during certain hormonal surges I’ve wondered how in the world not to blow up at someone. But God’s promises and requirements don’t have exception clauses for “those” times. He gives more grace when we ask Him and rely on Him for it.

Behold our God. II Corinthians 3:18 says we’re changed more and more into Christ’s likeness as we behold Him. When I look inside and tell myself I need to be more kind, loving, forbearing, etc., I get discouraged and fail because I don’t have it in myself (Romans 7:18). But when I look at Him, that irritability seems to just melt away.

The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
The Lord is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made (Psalm 145:8-9).

For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly (! Peter 2:21-23).

Pray. I often pray Colossians 1:9-14 for myself and my loved ones. Verse 11 says, “Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness.” We need God’s strength to be patient. Along with His power, He also gives us joy.

Trust God to work through even this. Author and missionary Elisabeth Elliot has been my “mentor from afar” for most of my adult life. She was honest about her human failings and struggles. She wrote in A Lamp for My Feet:

How can this person who so annoys or offends me be God’s messenger? Is God so unkind as to send that sort across my path? Insofar as his treatment of me requires more kindness than I can find in my own heart, demands love of a quality I do not possess, asks of me patience which only the Spirit of God can produce in me, he is God’s messenger. God sends him in order that he may send me running to God for help.

It encouraged me that Elisabeth had some of the same feelings I wrestle with.

God uses some people and circumstances as sandpaper to smooth our rough edges. Romans 5:3-5 tells us “suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” That’s true of “little” sufferings as well as the big ones.

(Revised from the archives.)

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

What Are You Stirred Up About?

Posted on October 29, 2023 by Barbara Harper

It’s easy to get whipped into anger and indignation these days. With social media, we hear people’s conflicting opinions more than we used to. News outlets keep the injustices of the world constantly before our eyes.

Some time ago, I noticed the harmful effect of stirred-up women in Acts 13:50. In the KJV this passage says: “But the Jews stirred up the devout and honourable women, and the chief men of the city, and raised persecution against Paul and Barnabas, and expelled them out of their coasts.” Some other translations use the word “stirred”; some say “incited.”

In this chapter, Paul and Barnabas had come to Antioch and shared the gospel, and many believed. “But when the Jews saw the crowds, they were filled with jealousy and began to contradict what was spoken by Paul, reviling him,” verse 45 (ESV). Then by verse 50 the Jews stirred up others to expel the preachers.

I know the passage refers to men as well, but it struck me both as a woman reader and as someone who has seen the results of getting stirred up woman both in others and in myself.

I looked up the Greek word translated as “stirred” or “Incited” in this verse and found it is only used here. So I looked up other verses using the English word “stir.” An interesting study!

One can be stirred up in a bad way (all references are from the ESV unless otherwise noted):

All day long they injure my cause; all their thoughts are against me for evil. They stir up strife, they lurk; they watch my steps, as they have waited for my life (Psalm 56:5-6).
Deliver me from those who work evil, and save me from bloodthirsty men. For behold, they lie in wait for my life; fierce men stir up strife against me. For no transgression or sin of mine, O Lord, for no fault of mine, they run and make ready (Psalm 59:2-3).
Deliver me, O Lord, from evil men; preserve me from violent men, who plan evil things in their heart and stir up wars continually (Psalm 140:1-2).
Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses (Proverbs 10:12).
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Proverbs 15:1).
A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention (Proverbs 17:18).
A greedy man stirs up strife, but the one who trusts in the Lord will be enriched (Proverbs 28:25).
A man of wrath stirs up strife, and one given to anger causes much transgression (Proverbs 29:22).
And they stirred up the people and the elders and the scribes, and they came upon him [Jesus] and seized him and brought him before the council (Acts 6:12).
Then all the city was stirred up, and the people ran together. They seized Paul and dragged him out of the temple, and at once the gates were shut. And as they were seeking to kill him, word came to the tribune of the cohort that all Jerusalem was in confusion (Acts 21:30-31). (There are several passages in Acts about people being stirred up after the apostles preached.)
As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned (Titus 3:10-11).

Or one can be stirred up in a good way:

And they came, everyone whose heart stirred him, and everyone whose spirit moved him, and brought the Lord‘s contribution to be used for the tent of meeting, and for all its service, and for the holy garments (Exodus 35:21).
And every skillful woman spun with her hands, and they all brought what they had spun in blue and purple and scarlet yarns and fine twined linen. All the women whose hearts stirred them to use their skill spun the goats’ hair [for the tabernacle] (Exodus 35:25-26).
And Moses called Bezalel and Oholiab and every craftsman in whose mind the Lord had put skill, everyone whose heart stirred him up to come to do the work (Exodus 36:2).
Then rose up the heads of the fathers’ houses of Judah and Benjamin, and the priests and the Levites, everyone whose spirit God had stirred to go up to rebuild the house of the Lord that is in Jerusalem (Ezra 1:5).
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near (Hebrews 10:23-25).
Wherefore I put thee in remembrance that thou stir up the gift of God, which is in thee by the putting on of my hands (2 Timothy 1:6, KJV).
Therefore I intend always to remind you of these qualities [in verses 3-11], though you know them and are established in the truth that you have. I think it right, as long as I am in this body, to stir you up by way of reminder…(2 Peter 1:13).
This is now the second letter that I am writing to you, beloved. In both of them I am stirring up your sincere mind by way of reminder, that you should remember the predictions of the holy prophets and the commandment of the Lord and Savior through your apostles (2 Peter 3:1-2).

Furthermore, “stirring” can be done by God, by ourselves, by other people, and by situations.

Sometimes we need stirring. Hosea speaks of sinful people “like a heated oven
whose baker ceases to stir the fire” (7:4b). A fire that’s not stirred might go out. Food that isn’t stirred while cooking will heat unevenly.

But sometimes we’re stirred up to the point of getting out of hand. Whipping cream is supposed to be stirred into a frenzy, but not scrambled eggs or vegetable soup. We can be rightly stirred up about an issue and handle it wrongly.

So when I feel “stirred up,” I need to ask myself:

What is stirring me up? Is this from God, from myself, from others?

What emotions are stirred up? Anger, spite, selfishness, jealousy? Or love and compassion?

Am I being stirred up to a mindless, destructive frenzy or to purposeful usefulness?

What am I stirred up to do? Lash out? Exact vengeance? Harm? Put someone in their place? Use my gifts to help others? Serve? Love?

I think of Amy Carmichael, stirred to compassion and action when a young Indian girl came to her care, rescued from being sold into prostitution at a temple in India. Amy eventually directed the building of an entire compound to house and teach both boys and girls.

Or William Wilberforce and Hannah More, who not only prayed against the evil of slavery but were stirred up to fight against it.

When I first read of the stirred-up women in Acts13, I only saw the danger. Their stirring led to the persecution of God’s messengers.

But after this study, I see being stirred up not just as a danger, but as a power for good or evil. Self examination in the light of God’s Word will help me understand whether that stirring is something I need to yield to or to confess and repent of.

(Revised from the archives)

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Called to Sacrifice

Posted on April 16, 2023 by Barbara Harper

Several years ago, a man in our church who had spent much of his life as a missionary in Africa spoke of not liking the word “sacrifice” in reference to his service. He said it was his privilege to serve the Lord and not at all a sacrifice.

David Livingstone said something similar:

People talk of the sacrifice I have made in spending so much of my life in Africa. Can that be called a sacrifice which is simply paid back as a small part of a great debt owing to our God, which we can never repay? Is that a sacrifice which brings its own blest reward in healthful activity, the consciousness of doing good, peace of mind, and a bright hope of a glorious destiny hereafter? Away with the word in such a view, and with such a thought! It is emphatically no sacrifice. Say rather it is a privilege. Anxiety, sickness, suffering, or danger, now and then, with a foregoing of the common conveniences and charities of this life, may make us pause, and cause the spirit to waver, and the soul to sink, but let this only be for a moment. All these are nothing when compared with the glory which shall hereafter be revealed in, and for, us. I never made a sacrifice. Of this we ought not to talk, when we remember the great sacrifice which HE made who left His Father’s throne on high to give Himself for us. (Speech to students at Cambridge University, December 4, 1857.)

I understand what these dear men meant. God did so much for us, and loves us so much. How can we help but lovingly serve Him in return?

Yet the Bible calls us to sacrifice.

We don’t sacrifice as people did in the Old Testament. The sacrifices for sin were fulfilled in Christ. The book of Hebrews goes into great detail about how so much of the OT sacrificial system symbolism comes to fruition in Jesus.

And according to Galatians (as well as many other places in the NT), we are no longer under the OT law.

But 1 Peter 2:4-5 tells us: “As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.“

What are these spiritual sacrifices?

A broken and contrite heart. In David’s psalm of repentance, he says, “For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise” (Psalm 51:16-17). Even under the OT system, God didn’t want His people to simply go through a rite. He wanted their hearts.

Our bodies. Romans 12:1-2 tells us, “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” We don’t just yield our hearts or souls, but our very bodies. “So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31).

Praise. Hebrews 13:15 says, “Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name.” Why would praising Him be considered a sacrifice? Perhaps because we’re turning our thoughts and words away from selfish pursuits to think of Him. Perhaps because some situations are hard to praise God for. Praising Him reminds us of His power, His care, His wisdom even when life is hard.

Service and giving to others. Hebrews 13 goes on to say, “Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God” (verse 16). When the Philippians sent a gift to Paul, he wrote back, “I am well supplied, having received from Epaphroditus the gifts you sent, a fragrant offering, a sacrifice acceptable and pleasing to God” (Philippians 4:18).

Love. “And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God” (Ephesians 5:2). When we love others, we set aside our own desires and needs to minister to them.

When you minister to people, sometimes you feel spent. That’s because you have been. Paul wrote to the Philippians, “Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all.” We pour out, and it’s okay to feel drained. Paul reminds us later in chapter 4 that God will supply all our needs (verse 19) and we can do all things through Him who strengthens us (verse 13).

What makes a sacrifice a sacrifice? Definition.org has this as one meaning of sacrifice: “Forfeiture of something highly valued for the sake of one considered to have a greater value or claim.” When David was repentant for taking a census that he wasn’t supposed to in 1 Chronicles 21, God told him to “go up and raise an altar to the Lord on the threshing floor of Ornan the Jebusite” (verse 18). When David tried to pay for the threshing floor, Ornan wanted to give it to him. But David replied, “I will not take for the Lord what is yours, nor offer burnt offerings that cost me nothing” (verse 24). Sacrifices cost something.

But God doesn’t want us to moan and groan or whine about sacrificing to Him. Nor does He want us to be prideful about it. Our definition of sacrifice above says we give something of value “for the sake of one considered to have a greater value.” We give to Him not only because He gave to us, but also because we love and value Him.

We appreciate more than we can say the soldiers, firefighters, and policemen who endanger themselves for others, even to the point of giving their lives. But dying physically is not the only way to lay down our lives. Soldiers also sacrifice time with their families and normal comforts for our protection. We admire missionaries and mission workers who work much more than a 9 to 5 job in places far from home.

Yet sacrifice does not occur only in the big things. We lay down our lives, dying to our own will, being poured out in everyday love and service. We seek grace to welcome an interrupter kindly when we longed for a few moments alone. A husband works hard to provide for his family. A mom wakes up at night to feed or comfort her children. A friend makes time for a long phone call. Volunteers at a church work day give up leisure or family time to pull together on a project.

Missionary and writer Elisabeth Elliot often used the phrase, “My life for yours.” We give ourselves to Him first of all, and then serve Him by serving others.

So we don’t have to shy away from the word “sacrifice.” God calls us to it. All that we are and have belongs to Him anyway. But when we yield everything back to Him, “such sacrifices are pleasing to God” (Hebrews 13:16).

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Dormant Souls

Posted on April 3, 2022 by Barbara Harper

One of my least favorite parts of winter is the barrenness of the landscape. Besides a few fir trees, nothing is growing and everything looks dead and gray.

The plants and trees aren’t dead, of course. They’re just dormant, suspending their usual growth process for their protection. Life is still inside the plants and their roots, ready to spring forth when conditions are ripe again.

I think our souls sometimes go through periods of dormancy, too. We all have ups and downs, times when we “feel” more fervent and spiritual than others. We know we don’t rely on feelings, but they can sure make things easier or harder.

Grief can look like dormancy. Just like a broken leg needs time to heal, a broken heart does as well. Much of a grieving person’s energy goes towards healing. They’re still very much alive, spiritually and otherwise. Some say that their deepest periods of growth have come during their most sorrowful times. But they may not look or act like their normal selves and may not appear to be as fruitful as they usually are.

King David’s life seems to me to display dormancy after his great sin with Bathsheba and his unthinkable plot to have her husband killed. The first part of his life had gone well as he followed God closely. He wasn’t perfect, but he was “a man after God’s own heart.”

But after these sins, David tried to cover his tracks for several months. Then God’s prophet confronted him, and David broke down. He confessed his sin and repented.

Yet even forgiven sin has consequences. David’s household was in turmoil for years afterward. One son raped his half-sister. Another son killed the first and tried to take over David’s kingdom.

And David said nothing to rebuke his sons. Did he feel he had no right in light of his failures? Did he feel the events in his family were part of his punishment? It would have been better to be honest with them about his sin, to warn them about the dangers of temptation and the necessity to nip it in the bud, to point out that he didn’t “get away with it,” as perhaps they hoped to do, but he was under God’s chastening hand.

In fact, David is pretty quiet from the time of his sin until his return to the kingdom after Absalom’s rebellion. But he doesn’t seem fully himself again until 1 Kings, as he helps Solomon get ready to build the temple.

In today’s cancel culture, David’s career would be over and his esteem among his people would have been lost.

But God wasn’t done with David. David’s spiritual life wasn’t dead: just read Psalm 51, written after his repentance. According to this site, Psalms 32, 86, and 122 were also written after this time.

John Newton captured this idea of reviving in spring in a couple of poems. One, written in April of 1776, begins “Pleasing spring is here again” and goes on to capture evidences of spring. The next few stanzas say:

What a change has taken place!
Emblem of the spring of grace;
How the soul, in winter, mourns
Till the Lord, the Sun, returns;
Till the Spirit’s gentle rain,
Bids the heart revive again;
Then the stone is turned to flesh,
And each grace springs forth afresh.

Lord, afford a spring to me!
Let me feel like what I see;
Ah! my winter has been long,
Chilled my hopes, and stopped my song!
Winter threatened to destroy
Faith and love, and every joy;
If thy life was in the root,
Still I could not yield thee fruit.

Speak, and by thy gracious voice
Make my drooping soul rejoice;
O beloved Saviour, haste,
Tell me all the storms are past:
On thy garden deign to smile,
Raise the plants, enrich the soil;
Soon thy presence will restore
Life to what seemed dead before.

In the last stanza, Newton longs for his eternal home where winter will be no more.

In “Waiting for Spring,” written a couple of years later in March of 1778, Newton revisits this idea. In the first three stanzas, he talks about the change of seasons as part of God’s decree. Then he writes:

Such changes are for us decreed;
Believers have their winters too;
But spring shall certainly succeed,
And all their former life renew.

Winter and spring have each their use,
And each, in turn, his people know;
One kills the weeds their hearts produce,
The other makes their graces grow.

Though like dead trees awhile they seem,
Yet having life within their root,
The welcome spring’s reviving beam
Draws forth their blossoms, leaves, and fruit.

Then he prays in the last stanza:

Dear Lord, afford our souls a spring,
Thou know’st our winter has been long;
Shine forth, and warm our hearts to sing,
And thy rich grace shall be our song.

It’s one thing when circumstances or sorrows cause us to draw in and heal, or God’s chastening weighs us down for a while. It’s another thing if we’re dormant because we’ve neglected God’s means of growth.

Like plants, we need light.

There are many who say, “Who will show us some good? Lift up the light of your face upon us, O LORD!” (Psalm 4:6)

The Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you;
the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace (Numbers 6:24-26).

The unfolding of your words gives light; it imparts understanding to the simple. (Psalm 119:130).

Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life” (John 8:12).

We need water.

Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word (Ephesians 5:25-26).

Jesus stood up and cried out, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. (John 7:37).

And we need nourishment.

I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my portion of food (Job 23:12).

Your words were found, and I ate them, and your words became to me a joy and the delight of my heart, for I am called by your name, O LORD, God of hosts. (Jeremiah 15:16).

Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.” (John 6:35).

Whether your soul is feeling sluggish and sleepy or in full bloom, or in-between, will you turn to His light and let it warm you? Will you take in His water and let it soak down deep in your soul? Will you partake of His nourishment to strengthen your roots and bring forth fruit in your life?

After two days he will revive us; on the third day he will raise us up, that we may live before him.

Let us know; let us press on to know the Lord; his going out is sure as the dawn; he will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains that water the earth (Hosea 6:2-3).

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

God Is Not Going to Slap the Cookie From Your Hand

Posted on January 23, 2022 by Barbara Harper

Many decades ago, during my college years, an administrator said that most religions of the world emphasized trying to earn God’s favor. Christianity, however, declared that it’s not by trying, but trusting—trusting the perfect, sinless Son of God who took our place on the cross we deserved.

These words were a relief to me. I had been familiar with Ephesians 2:8-9 for a few years by then: “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” But I still had to reassure myself that salvation was not a matter of being “good enough,” but rather resting in His goodness.

I had to learn the same principle in my Christian walk. Even after salvation, my standing with God was not a matter of trying to be good enough. My works were not to earn His approval. I would never be more saved or more loved than I already was. My walk, or sanctification, or growth was as much a matter of faith as my salvation. It was still Christ’s righteousness, not mine, that counted before God. The whole book of Galatians was written to people who thought they had to obey certain rules in order to be right with God:

Let me ask you only this: Did you receive the Spirit by works of the law or by hearing with faith? Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh? Did you suffer so many things in vain—if indeed it was in vain? Does he who supplies the Spirit to you and works miracles among you do so by works of the law, or by hearing with faith—just as Abraham “believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness”?

It’s given immeasurable rest to my spirit to know I can always “with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16).

The same college administrator made another statement at another time that has stayed with me all these years: “God’s not going to do your math homework for you.”

I don’t recall the context of that statement. Perhaps there were college students who thought prayer took the place of study. I can understand, as one who prayed my way through various lessons. I’m sure there were courses that were passed only through prayer. But they also required mental and physical effort.

Since then, I have amended that administrator’s statement about what God is not going to do:

God is not going to slap your fifth cookie out of your hand.

God is not going to turn off the TV when the sex scene starts.

God is not going to have devotions for you.

God is not going to make you take the opportunity you’re afraid of.

And so on.

I tend to be overly analytical. I’ve spent a great deal of thought on what’s God’s part and what’s our part in the Christian life. I can’t say I have it all figured out, even now. My tendency is to want to sort it out neatly in a series of points. God does this: 1, 2, and 3. And we do this: 1, 2, and 3. But I don’t think it works like that.

I do know this: As I said, our standing before God and His love for us are totally dependent on His grace, not our actions. My ups and downs, stumblings, faults, and failures don’t threaten His love for me or my salvation.

But Jesus did say, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments” (John 14:15).

We don’t keep His commandments to earn His love or favor or salvation.

But we keep His commandment from His love and favor and salvation.

Because He loves us, saved us, changed us, we’re new creations.

We don’t put down the cookie because we’ll lose points with God if we eat it. But His Spirit dwells within us, and part of His fruit is self-control.

We don’t turn off the sex scene because we’ll go to hell if we don’t. We turn off the sex scene because we love a pure and holy God.

We don’t have time in prayer and the Bible because we’ll have a bad day if we don’t. We spend time with God because He is our Father, and we want to hear His great and precious thoughts.

We don’t take the scary opportunity because God won’t love us if we don’t, but because we want to do what He has called us to.

We can’t do anything without Him.

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing (John 15:4-5).

But as we walk through the day, seeking grace to help in time of need, asking for His strength, step by step, we yield to Him.

What do we do when we see a “Yield” traffic sign? We let the other drivers have the right of way.

What do we do when we yield to God? We let Him have His way. We acquiesce to His will.

The fact that our salvation is by grace through faith doesn’t mean there is no effort to the Christian life. Grace does not preclude obedience. Grace is not good just for forgiveness. Grace enables obedience.

The verses that seem to most clearly show our effort and His working:

But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me. (1 Corinthians 15:10).

For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live (Romans 8:13).

So maybe there is no actual dividing line between God’s part and our part as we seek to live for Him. We don’t muster up the strength or will to serve Him on our own—we feed on His Word for our nourishment and strength and ask for His grace and help through prayer. Maybe it’s like the man with the withered hand or the paralyzed man in Scripture whom Jesus told to do the very things they could not do. With faith and obedience came enabling.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Pressure

Posted on September 26, 2021 by Barbara Harper

My husband and I listened to an online sermon recently which contained a story I had never heard before.

The USS Thresher was a nuclear-powered submarine that sank in 1963, killing all 129 people on board. A series of events caused it to sink and then to implode due to the extreme pressure deep in the ocean.

Research equipment with cameras that could withstand the oceanic pressure were lowered and found the Thresher in five pieces.

It’s hard to fathom water pressure strong enough to crush a submarine.

Yet there are fish and creatures that live at such depths. How are they not crushed?

This article tells of some features of a few specific deep-sea creatures. But the bottom line, Wikipedia says, is “Deep-sea organisms have the same pressure within their bodies as is exerted on them from the outside, so they are not crushed by the extreme pressure.”

The fish and other creatures aren’t crushed by deep sea pressure because their internal pressure is equal to it. In fact, many die (even explode) when they are brought to the surface for study because their pressure is no longer equalized.

We face a lot of pressures these days, don’t we? Making a living, keeping up with responsibilities, making time for those we love. Then we all have struggles against our own besetting sins. The world is getting less friendly to Christianity every day. And we have an enemy of our souls who seeks our destruction like a roaring lion.

We’re not equal to it in ourselves. “My flesh and my heart may fail,” Asaph says. Mine, too. But he goes on to say, “but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” (Psalm 73:26).

“Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world” (1 John 4:4). The one within us is more than equal to the pressures around us.

“Now we have this treasure in clay jars, so that this extraordinary power may be from God and not from us. We are pressured in every way but not crushed; we are perplexed but not in despair” (2 Corinthians 4:7-8, HCSB).

Sometimes God relieves pressure by removing a burden from us. Other times, He gives us grace to bear it. He invites us to cast our care on Him, to depend on His strength in our weakness, to come to Him for rest.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

15 Favorite Posts from 15 Years of Blogging

Posted on August 3, 2021 by Barbara Harper

I mentioned in my end-of-July post that I forgot my blogging anniversary until WordPress sent me a reminder. It’s been fifteen years!

Often in the past I’ve done something special to observe my blogiversary. Since it caught me off guard this year, I didn’t have anything prepared.

I had been pondering ways to bring some of old posts back to the forefront, since they were published before I knew some of you. Then, voila! The idea came to list fifteen of my favorite blog posts to commemorate my fifteenth year of blogging. There won’t be one from each year—that would have taken too much time to search out. But these were either fun to write or were special to me in some way.

So here we go, in no particular order:

Coping when a husband is away. This is my top-viewed post of all time. I had no idea it would touch such a chord. My husband had to travel heavily for at least half, maybe as much as two-thirds of our 41-year marriage. Though I didn’t like it, I am thankful God used what He taught me to help others.

2. How Not to Become an Old Biddie. After seeing examples of different kinds of older ladies, I realized I needed to start working on what kind of older lady I want to be now. (Related: Why Older Women Don’t Serve and Ways Older Women Can Serve.)

3. With All Our Feebleness. Reflections on serving God with physical and other limitations.

4. My Ebenezers. In 1 Samuel 7:12: “Samuel took a stone . . . and called its name Ebenezer; for he said, ‘Till now the Lord has helped us.’” “Ebenezer” means “stone of help.” In this post, I listed some of my verbal “Ebenzers,” commemorations of the Lord’s special help in my life.

5. Having Devotions When You’re not Feeling Very Devoted. We’ve all been there, I’m sure. (Related: When There Is No Hunger for God’s Word.)

6. Strong Women. What feminine strength means and doesn’t mean, with literary and Biblical examples.

7. Encouragement for Mothers of Small Children in the area of trying to find quiet time with the Lord.

8. The Back Burner. The stuff on the back burner is all the more flavorful for its time sitting and simmering. So with the things in our lives we have to set on the back burner: they’ll be all the better for the wait.

9. Why Read? Why Read Fiction? Why Read Christian Fiction? Every reason I could think of for reading all of them.

10. Can Frugality Go Too Far? Even good traits can be carried too far.

11. It’s Not For Nothing. Caregiving can seem monotonous and futile when the patient sleeps most of the time, can’t speak, and isn’t interested in food, as was the case for my mother-in-law her last two years in our home. These were truths that encouraged me. (Related: Remembering the Loved One Who Has Forgotten You.)

12. Manufactured Spirituality. Routines and programs can help us spirituality, but sometimes we focus on them to the detriment of real spirituality.

13. The Quiet Person in the Small Group. How not to torture your introverts.

14 Going to a Church with Problems. They all have them, even the ones in the Bible. (Related: What You Miss When You Turn Your Back on Church.)

15. Myths and Maxims of Ministry gleaned over many years. Myth #1: “Since this is being done for the Lord, everything should go smoothly.” Nope!

These are the posts that floated to mind. If I had actually searched every year’s posts, I might have had a different list. But there’s probably a reason these are the ones that came to mind.

As you’ve noticed, I ~~cheated~~ stretched my numbers a bit. Sometimes I couldn’t decide between a couple of posts on a similar topic, so I included one as “related.”

I’ve noticed that I should probably go back and edit some of the older posts. One of the tendencies my first critiquer at a writer’s conference pointed out was “long, convoluted sentences” that should be broken into two sentences (or three or four). Hopefully some day I can correct those in my older posts.

Thank you so much to all of you who read and comment. Without you, this would just be an online journal. Nothing makes me day like hearing that something here has blessed and helped someone.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers)

What Are You Looking For?

Posted on June 13, 2021 by Barbara Harper

What are you looking for as you go through life?

Peace?

Love?

Justice?

A good time?

Happiness?

We might find those in some measure. Some of them are God’s good gifts. Some are a foretaste of heaven.

But none will be perfect. This world is fraught with strife, selfishness, conflict.

And such characteristics are not just out there. They’re in our hearts as well.

Whatever troubles or pleases us about this life, none of it will last. Peter says some day “the elements will melt with fervent heat; both the earth and the works that are in it will be burned up” (2 Peter 3:10b).

If we’ve staked all our hopes and dreams on this earth, we’ll be in trouble.

Since this earth won’t last forever, what should we do? Peter goes on to say, “Therefore, since all these things will be dissolved, what manner of persons ought you to be in holy conduct and godliness, looking for and hastening the coming of the day of God, because of which the heavens will be dissolved, being on fire, and the elements will melt with fervent heat? Nevertheless we, according to His promise, look for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells. Therefore, beloved, looking forward to these things, be diligent to be found by Him in peace, without spot and blameless” (2 Peter 3:11-14, NKJV).

Others passages echo this truth:

For our conversation (citizenship) is in heaven; from whence also we look for the Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ: Who shall change our vile body, that it may be fashioned like unto his glorious body, according to the working whereby he is able even to subdue all things unto himself (Philippians 3:20-21, KJV).

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works (Titus 2:11-14, NKJV).

And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment: So Christ was once offered to bear the sins of many; and unto them that look for him shall he appear the second time without sin unto salvation (Hebrews 9:27-28, KJV).

Other translations say “wait for” instead of “look for,” but the Greek definitions can be translated either way. We wait with expectation, with eagerness, looking for Him.

Only with Him will we find perfection. Only in heaven will there be no sin, no sorrow, no crying, no pain–none of the negative things that taint life here.

Is this just escapism from reality? No, it’s arriving at reality. We look forward to our true reality, our true home. C. S. Lewis called this life the Shadowlands. In The Last Battle, when the children and animals realize they’re in a new Narnia, the Unicorn says:

I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it til now. The reason why we loved the old Narnia is that it sometimes looked a little like this.

Aslan told the children, “The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is the morning.”

It was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and title page: now, at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read, which goes on forever; in which every chapter is better than the one before.

Elisabeth Elliot has quoted George MacDonald as saying, “If you knew what God knows about death, you would clap your listless hands.” I remember reading somewhere that one reason God doesn’t tell us much about heaven is that we would look forward to it so much, we wouldn’t be able to get anything else done here.

I admit, there’s much I still enjoy and look forward to in this life. There’s much I’d like to do. One of the most important things I desire is to be a positive influence in my grandson’s life, and hopefully, at some point, in the lives of future grandchildren. God has given us a strong survival instinct. One preacher once said that one reason our bodies start falling apart as we get older is to ready us to let loose of them. “So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).

I need the reminder that this life isn’t all there is. Imagine a rope stretched out east and west farther than we can follow, and let it represent eternity. The piece of the rope in front of us is taped off for a few inches. That taped part would represent the whole of life on earth for all time compared to eternity. Time is short. Eternity is long.

But before we look for Him to take us there, we have to look for Him here. Jeremiah 29:13 (ESV) says, “You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” If you don’t have a saving relationship with Jesus, if you’re not sure of heaven, please read here.

We enjoy God’s blessing here. But we know this world isn’t all there is. Like Abraham, we “[look] forward to the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God” (Hebrews 11:10).

Are you looking for Him?

(I often link up with some of these bloggers)

Laudable Linkage

Posted on March 20, 2021 by Barbara Harper

Here are a few noteworthy reads discovered in the last couple pf weeks.

On Deconversion. A plausible reason why we’re seeing more of this phenomenon.

Live According to a Plumb Line, not a Pendulum, HT to Challies.

Book Banning in an Age of Amazon, HT to Challies. “Forget the ‘firemen’ from Fahrenheit 451: You needn’t burn forbidden books if people can’t buy them in the first place.”

Is the Crucifixion of Christ Cosmic Child Abuse? HT to Challies. This video clip from the American Gospel film (which I haven’t seen but should) answers that charge as well as the question of why God needs sacrifice to forgive. It might be confusing if you don’t know who the people are in the video, but basically it shows clips from people on opposite viewpoints.

This World Is Passing Away. Beautifully written and a much-needed reminder.

Interactive Bird Map, HT to The Story Warren. This is pretty cool—follow the link to a site where you can click on a bird to see what it sounds like. We have some of these in our yard, but I had not connected which sounds went with which birds except the mourning dove.

“I See the Light” parody—with Ducks. HT to The Story Warren. This is one of my favorite Disney songs, but this parody made me laugh.

Finally, I loved this clip of a baby hearing violin music for the first time.

Happy Saturday!

How to Quiet Your Soul

Posted on March 15, 2021 by Barbara Harper

Has your soul been unquiet lately? The pandemic, civil unrest, the daily news, politics, social media bickering, and a host of other factors can disturb our peace.

We can’t live like ostriches with our heads in the sand. We need to live in but not of the world and minister to others. But what do we do when it all gets to be too much?

We all vary in how much news or social media is good for us. But when it’s too noisy in our souls, here’s how we can quiet them again:

Remember God’s love.

The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. (Zephaniah 3:17)

In my early Christian days, when anything bad happened, my confidence in God’s love was shaken. How could He allow this if He loved me? What did I do wrong?

Though God sometimes uses calamities to discipline us, bad events aren’t always meant to chasten. He has many reasons for allowing trials and suffering. But He assures us of His love all through the Bible. We can rest secure in His love no matter what else is going on in the world.

Hope in God

Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; For I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God. (Psalm 43:5, NASB)

Other translations say disturbed, restless, or in turmoil in place of disquieted, but they all paint a similar picture. Like Peter on the water, we sink if we look at the storm. But if we keep our eyes on Jesus, we’ll be fine.

Wait on the Lord

“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. (Lamentations 3:24-26)

Just before these verses in Lamentations, Jeremiah writes of his soul being bowed down, yet having hope because “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness” (Lamentations 3:20-23). God will take care of us and meet our needs, but we have to wait on His timing.

Trust the Lord

For thus said the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel, “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.” But you were unwilling. (Isaiah 30:15)

Instead of sinking under the weight of trials. a quiet trust in God gives us strength to carry on.

The last phrase indicates that returning, rest, trusting, and quietness are related to our will (more on that in a moment). We need to deliberately turn to God and place our faith in Him. (Some good commentary on this verse is here, especially the one by MacLaren).

Quiet our souls

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me.(Psalm 131:1-2)

The commentaries and ESV Study Bible notes I consulted all seemed to emphasize the idea of contentment here. A baby would normally clamor to be fed in the way it was used to from its mother, but here an older child is content to “simply [have] its mother’s presence.” “So the faithful worshiper is content with God’s presence, even when there are many things he would like God to explain” (ESV Study Bible notes, p. 1109).

Feed our souls truth

Someone mentioned the other day that we can’t tell people who are struggling, “Just trust the Lord and everything will be okay.” We should be empathetic, and there are times friends just need a listening ear. The psalms are full of laments, crying out to God in the midst of deep pain, betrayal, confusion, or loss. Trite answers don’t help at those times.

Yet the psalmists at some point reminded themselves of God’s truth. In all but one or two of them, the writer ended up in a different frame of mind from where he started. He reminded himself of God’s love, power, wisdom, and other attributes. He reviewed times in the past when God had intervened on his behalf.

The passages mentioned above indicate action on our part. Isaiah 30:15 said the people were unwilling to be quieted. Psalm 131:2 says, “I have calmed and quieted my soul. “David encouraged himself in the Lord his God” when he was surrounded by trouble (I Samuel 30:6b). The writer of Psalm 42 prayed, poured out his soul, and then admonished himself, “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God” (verse 11).

We cry out to God for peace and rest of heart, and He ministers to us from His Word, His love, His providence. His Holy Spirit will “bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you” (John 14:26). Like the psalmists, we look to Him and hope in Him. And we join them is saying:

I sought the Lord, and he answered me
and delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant,
and their faces shall never be ashamed.
This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him
and saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the Lord encamps
around those who fear him, and delivers them.
Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!
Psalm 34:4-8

When I looked up the definitions to one of the Greek words for “quiet” in one of these passages, one of them said that the same word was often translated “rest.” Rest would be another valuable word study, but it brought to mind this hymn: Jesus, I am Resting, Resting. May God give us grace to rest in Him today.