Book Review: Everyday Grace: Infusing All Your Relationships With the Love of Jesus

Posted on September 1, 2015 by Barbara Harper

I’ve mentioned several times here that I read years ago in an old biography of a missionary who felt strongly the lack of love in her life, felt guilty about it, berated herself over it often, tried to spur herself on to do better, all to no avail. But when she began instead to meditate on God’s love for her, He began to transform her in ways she was unaware of until her husband told her people were commenting to him about the change in her.

In Everyday Grace: Infusing All Your Relationships With the Love of Jesus, Jessica Thompson takes this same principle and applies it to nearly every relationship we might have. She points out that most relationships operate on the basis of karma – I’ll do for you if you’ll do for me, or maybe I’ll do for you so that you’ll do for me in return. But Christianity operates on the basis of grace: God loved us and Jesus died for us when we were enemies, when we didn’t care, when we didn’t love Him, and He wants us to love others in the same way.

But how can we do that? He is God, and though he has saved and changed us, in our everyday lives our old fleshly nature too often evidences itself.

We are not basically good people who need a little instruction so that we can live up to our full potential. We are completely sinful people who need help from outside of ourselves in order to be made alive (p. 39).

We don’t just need a new list; we need a new heart. That is exactly what is promised to us in Ezekiel 11:19-20:

And I will give them one heart, and a new spirit I will put within them. I will remove the heart of stone from their flesh and give them a heart of flesh, that they may walk in my statutes and keep my rules and obey them. And they shall be my people, and I will be their God (p. 47)

We can operate from a basis of grace because Jesus lived a perfect life, keeping all God’s commands in our place, and died, taking all of our sin and its punishment in our place.

My hope is that this book will help you “taste and see that the Lord is good” (Psalm 34:8). That as I open up to you all that he is and all that he has done…as you taste this multifaceted relationship with God, it will transform all of your other relationships (p. 43).

Paul doesn’t just pray [in Ephesians 3:14-21] that the Ephesians would get their act together; he prays that they would somehow be able to comprehend the incomprehensible love of God in Christ (p. 49).

In subsequent chapters, Jessica discusses God as our Father and husband and how that influences our relationships with our spouse and children, Jesus as a friend, coworker, brother, and how that influences our relationships in each of those areas, as well as how our relationship with God directs our interactions with our communities and fellow church members. She ends with discussing the Holy Spirit’s help, dealing with difficult people, and “The Gospel for the Relationship Failure.”

In the chapter on friendship, she writes:

Jesus tells his disciples, “You are my friends if you do what I command you.”…It seems to be saying that he will be our friend only if we obey. But that isn’t what Jesus is saying at all. His friendship came first. This obedience is not what makes them friends; it is what characterizes his friends. I have lived most of my life under the assumption that if I am not obeying, then Christ doesn’t want any part of me. That is a terrible weight and it is a lie. God’s love for us in Christ always precedes our loveliness. His faithfulness always precedes ours, and his friendship is what brings us into relationship with him…If we are true believers in Christ, we will obey. That doesn’t mean we will obey perfectly…But it does mean that we will have a desire to obey. If your life is characterized by a growing desire to obey, you can be sure that you are a friend of Jesus. It is his very pronouncement of “my friend” that gives us the longing to be obedient to his commands. His love for us is what engenders a heart of obedience (pp. 76-77).

In a chapter on work, she writes:

While there is nothing wrong with doing a job you enjoy or looking for a job that you are passionate about, we have made a terrible point of our focus. We are setting out to fulfill ourselves instead of looking for ways to serve others. How often do we really think of our jobs as a way to be God’s hands, even if our job is just stacking books at the library? (p. 169)

[Jesus’] work wasn’t dependent on the one who received the benefit of his work. His work was only and always dependent on his love for God and his love for his people (p. 171).

I thought this from the chapter on church members was particularly lovely:

So we are humble with one another, not thinking we are better than others. We are gentle with each other, instead of beating each other over the head with a long list of “you-shoulds.” We can point out sin, when necessary, without distancing ourselves or acting like our friends have a disease that we might catch if they don’t get their acts together. We bear with one another in love, which is tough, especially if their sin affects us personally. And we are eager and excited to maintain peace, instead of eager and excited when we get a juicy bit of gossip about our friend. We remember that we are one body, and if I hurt you, I am actually hurting myself. We take a vested interest in each other and in loving one another. Lastly, we remember that all of our failures to live as one body have been paid for by the Savior. We don’t have to hide from our community when we sin against them. We confess and remember that even the sin of hurting others in the church was paid for on Christ’s cross. We pray for a new and deeper understanding of what he went through to make us one body; and we pray that this understanding changes who we are as individuals and as a community, one redeemed sinner at a time (pp. 161-162).

In the chapter on difficult people, she talks about not only people whose personalities rub us the wrong way or who have hurt us, but also those going through hard trials – not that they are difficult, but because we find it difficult to know what to say or how to comfort them. A few lines from that chapter were instructive to me:

Part of the reason I struggle to be around people who suffer is because I have to come to grips with my own inability to make everything better. I hate to see that I am actually not the Holy Spirit and I can’t bring them the comfort they need. I hate that I say the wrong things at times and I end up hurting more than helping. But I believe it is in embracing that very weakness that the Holy Spirit has more room to work. The more I try to make it better, the more I try to come up with the perfect verse, the more I am ultimately in the way. When I relinquish my desire to be the Savior and just grieve with my friends, the Holy Spirit does some pretty amazing work (p. 189).

While I found this book immensely helpful in many ways, I’m not eager to go out and buy everything Thompson has ever written. The truth grabbed me: for the most part, the writing did not. I haven’t spent a lot of time analyzing why, but it could have been a lot tighter and less wordy in places (and I realize I have no room to talk there. 🙂 ) There was a lot of repetition. Plus I think she went way too far in her speculations in some biblical situations that the Bible doesn’t spell out, like the ways in which Jesus was tempted, the situation between Paul and Barnabas’ disagreement, what was going on in Mary’s mind the time she and her other children tried to get in and see Jesus, and instead of instructing them to be admitted or going to the door, He told those He was teaching that whoever does His will is is family. Saying, “Mary might have thought or reacted…” in a particular way is one thing. Saying Mary did think and feel in ways that the Scripture doesn’t say or even indicate she did is dangerous (Thompson postulates that Mary doubted or forgot who Jesus was for a time). This kind of thing keeps me from fulling trusting Thompson’s handling of Scripture, but she seems better in exegesis and application than in speculation. On the other hand, speculation and imagination do serve her well in some areas where she doesn’t go too far, such as picturing Jesus working as a carpenter and encountering the same kind of people we encounter in the workplace.

I found much more that I did like in the book than I didn’t like, and I feel I could recommend it with a caution about those sections.

(This review will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

Laudable Linkage

Posted on August 29, 2015 by Barbara Harper

It’s been a few weeks since I have had time to share, but here are some thought-provoking reads discovered recently:

How to Repent Without Really Repenting.

For the Woman Who Is Simply Weary of Serving.

10 Ways to Overcome Spiritual Weariness.

How to Move On When You’ve Been Betrayed.

Invent a Ministry. HT to Challies. Love this. One of my themes is that ministry isn’t always in an official church-sponsored activity. It’s being available for God to use you all throughout the day. Another is the “Someone should…” or “The church should…” mentality, forgetting we ARE the church. I’ve been thinking about a possible blog post along these lines.

Unavoidable Tantrums. Good thoughts here.

12 Things That Every First-Time Dad Should Know.

Have This Conversation Before You Send Your Baby Back to School. I wouldn’t say, “Don’t strive to do your best,” but otherwise very sound advice.

The Dramatic, Adrenaline Soaked Life of a Missionary, or, It’s Not Like You Read in All Those Classic Biographies, and That’s OK. From a missionary we know in real life.

What It’s Like When You Publish a Book. Interesting thoughts on the type of people God uses (clue: messed-up ones, because that’s the only type available).

Sticking With It, on reading long books with dull spots, either personally or to children. I don’t think the author is advocating for never putting a book aside, but I like the analogy that life is going to be that way sometimes.

25 Ways to Ask Your Kids ‘So How Was School Today?’ Without Asking Them ‘So How Was School Today?’ HT to The Story Warren. I had to learn this with one child who would always just answer, “Normal.” I don’t think I used any of these, but I did learn to ask specific questions.

Finally, this cute little boy, his reaction to hearing he is going to become a big brother, and his accent are all adorable:

And this was sweet: an orphaned kangaroo hugging a teddy bear:

Happy Saturday!

Knowing God, Chapters 3 and 4

Posted on August 26, 2015 by Barbara Harper

We’re continuing to read Knowing God by J. I. Packer along with Tim Challies’ Reading Classics Together Series. This week we are in chapters 3 and 4.

Chapter 3, “Knowing and Being Known,” is one of those chapters that I wish I could produce in it’s totality, one in which I have numerous places marked.

Since Jesus said in John 17:3, “And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent,” and since knowledge of God is commended throughout the Bible, what does it mean to know God?

It is clear, to start with, that ‘knowing’ God is of necessity a more complex business than ‘knowing’ a fellow-man, just as ‘knowing’ my neighbour is a more complex business than ‘knowing’ a house, or a book, or a language. The more complex the object, the more complex is the knowing of it. Knowledge of something abstract, like a language, is acquired by learning; knowledge of something inanimate…comes by inspection and exploration…But when one gets to living things, knowing them becomes a good deal more complicated. One does not know a living thing till one knows not merely its past history but how it is likely to react and behave and specific circumstances…

In the case of human beings, the position is further complicated by the fact that…people keep secrets. They do not show everybody all that is in their hearts…you may spend months and years doing things in company with another person and still have to say at the end of that time, “I don’t really know him at all.” We recognize degrees in our knowledge of our fellow men…according to how much, or how little, they have opened up to us (pp. 34-35).

Taking it one step further, Packer points out that if we’re meeting someone “above us” in some way, like a queen or president, that person takes the initiative into whatever relationship we might or might not have.

And God, who is so much more “above us” than anyone else, has taken that initiative, spoken to us, invited us into His confidence.

Knowing God is a relationship calculated to thrill a man’s heart. What happens is that the almighty Creator, the Lord of hosts, the Great God before whom the nations are as a drop in a bucket, comes to you and begins to talk to you through the words and truths of Holy Scripture. Perhaps you have been acquainted with the Bible and Christian truth for many years, and it has meant little to you; but one day you wake up to the fact that God is actually speaking to you – you! – through the biblical message. As you listen to what God is saying, you find yourself brought very low; for God talks to you about your sin, and guilt, and weakness, and blindness, and folly, and compels you to judge yourself hopeless and helpless, and to cry out for forgiveness. But this is not all. You come to realize as you listen that God is actually opening His heart to you, making friends with you and enlisting you a colleague…(p. 36)

What, then, does the activity of knowing God involve? Holding together the various elements involved in this relationship, as we have sketched it out, we must say that knowing God involves, first, listening to God’s Word and receiving it as the Holy Spirit interprets it, in application to oneself; second, noting God’s nature and character, as his Word and works reveal it; third, accepting his invitations and doing what he commands; fourth, recognizing and rejoicing in the love that he has shown in thus approaching you and drawing you into this divine fellowship (p. 37).

Packer talks about four analogies the Bible uses to help us understand how we know God: “in the manner of a son knowing his father, a wife knowing her husband, a subject knowing his king, and a sheep knowing its shepherd” (p. 37).

Then the Bible adds the further point that we know God in this way only through knowing Jesus Christ, who is himself God manifest in the flesh. ‘Don’t you know me…? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father’; ‘No-one comes to the Father except through me’ (John 14: 9,6 NIV). It is important, therefore, that we should be clear in our minds as to what ‘knowing’ Jesus Christ means (p. 37).

Packer discusses how the disciples knew and interacted with Jesus, and, since His death and resurrection, we can know Him in the same way except in a spiritual rather than physical (bodily) way, and we have more revealed truth than they did, and “Jesus’ way of speaking to us now is not by uttering fresh words, but rather by applying to our consciences those words of his that are recorded in the gospels, together with the rest of the biblical testimony to himself. But knowing Jesus Christ still remains as definite a relation of personal discipleship as it was for the twelve when he was on earth. The Jesus who walks through the gospel story walks with Christians now, and knowing him involves going with him, now as then” (p. 38).

After sharing several passages that talk about hearing Him (John 10: 27; 6:35; 10:7, 14; 11:25; 5:23-24; Matthew 11:28-29), Packer explains:

Jesus’ voice is ‘heard’ when Jesus’ claim is acknowledged, his promise trusted, and his call answered. From then on, Jesus is known as shepherd, and those who trust him he knows as his own sheep. ‘I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no-one can snatch them out of my hand’ (John 10: 27-28 NIV). To know Jesus is to be saved by Jesus, here and hereafter, from sin, and guilt, and death.

He closes the chapter by noting that “knowing God is a matter of personal dealing,…personal involvement,…and grace” (pp. 39-40).

Knowing God is more than knowing about him; it is a matter of dealing with him as he opens up to you, and being dealt with by him as he takes knowledge of you. Knowing about him is a necessary precondition of trusting in him (‘how could they have faith in one they had never heard of?’ [Romans 10:4 NEB]), but the width of our knowledge about him is no gauge of the depth of our knowledge of him.

Chapter 4, “The Only True God,” mainly discusses the second commandment about not making idols or bowing down and worshiping them. He spends a great deal of time explaining why he believes that commandment precludes pictures of Jesus, and I understand his points that any picture, sculpture, etc., in any kind of media will be limiting and may portray Him falsely. Christians through the ages have had various opinions about that (there have been some lively discussions on the Facebook group for this series.) I wrestled with it myself when my husband gave me a print of Jesus as the Good Shepherd having just found the lost sheep. I came to terms with it because I felt it wasn’t meant to be a representation of Him, but an expression of that truth of the Shepherd’s love and care for His sheep and the sheep’s rest in the Shepherd. But I have wondered if I should take it down so it is not a stumblingblock to anyone else.

Packer also cautions us to watch for wrong mental images about God, as they can be just as idolatrous and false as wooden or sculpted ones.

How often do we hear this sort of thing: “I like to think of God as the great Architect (or Mathematician or Artist).” “I don’t think of God as a Judge; I like to think of him simply as a Father.” We know from experience how often remarks of this kind serve as the prelude to a denial of something that the Bible tells us about God. It needs to be said with the greatest possible emphasis that those who hold themselves free to think of God as they like are breaking the second commandment (p. 47).

I hadn’t thought of it in exactly that way before, but I think this is the basis of the problem I had with a book that portrayed God as an artist and not a technician. It wasn’t a full and true representation of Him: though we can and do appreciate His artistry and creativity and eye for beauty in His creation, that is only one aspect of His character.

All speculative theology, which rests on philosophical reasoning rather than biblical revelation, is at fault here [emphasis mine here]. Paul tells us where this sort of theology ends: “The world by wisdom knew not God” (1 Cor 1:21 KJV). To follow the imagination of one’s heart in the realm of theology is the way to remain ignorant of God, and to become an idol-worshipper, the idol in this case being a false mental image of God, made by one’s own speculation and imagination.

In this light, the positive purpose of the second commandment becomes plain. Negatively, it is a warning against ways of worship and religious practice that lead us to dishonor God and to falsify his truth. Positively, it is a summons to us to recognize that God the Creator is transcendent, mysterious and inscrutable, beyond the range of any imagining or philosophical guesswork of which we are capable and hence a summons to us to humble ourselves, to listen and learn of him, and to let him teach us what he is like and how we should think of him (p. 48).

This book has been immensely helpful so far, and we’re only four chapters in. We’re taking them two at a time, and they’re not overly long or difficult. It’s not too late to join in!

Reading Classics Together: Knowing God

Posted on August 19, 2015 by Barbara Harper

Somehow I have never read Knowing God by J. I. Packer, though I have heard it is wonderful. The title came to my attention again a few weeks ago, and I thought it might be a good time to start it. Then I saw that Tim Challies was leading readers through the book for his Reading Classics Together Series on Thursdays, and that added impetus to read it now, along with the fact that a few blog friends will be reading it at this time as well.

I’ve only participated in Tim’s Reading Classics Together one other time, with The Disciples of Grace by Jerry Bridges. I had decided I wasn’t going to blog about this book every week like I did then, especially since Tim has closed comments on his blog and readers can only participate via a Facebook group for that purpose. I’m really sad about that, for a number of reasons. But as I read the first chapter, I decided it would help me get more out of it and cement what I was learning to keep notes from each chapter rather than just trying to tie it all together at the end.

Chapter 1 is “The Study of God.” I don’t think I am going to summarize or outline each chapter, as Tim will probably do that. I’m just going to share a few things that stood out to me.

Packer starts out with a lengthy quote from Spurgeon extolling the virtues of studying God, reproduced here. Packer counters charges that such a study would be boring, impractical, and irrelevant and instead asserts that “it is the most practical project anyone can engage in” (p. 19).

He talks in the preface and some in the chapter about the spirit of the modern age of skepticism, and here comments, “I ask you for the moment to stop your ears to those who tell you there is no road to knowledge about God, and come a little way with me and see. After all, the proof of the pudding is in the eating, and anyone who is actually following a recognized road will not be too worried if he hears nontravelers telling each other that no such road exists” (p. 19).

Packer warns that, “To be preoccupied with getting theological knowledge as an end in itself, to approach Bible study with no higher a motive than a desire to know all the answers, is the direct route to a state of self-satisfied self-deception. We need to guard our hearts against such an attitude, and pray to be kept from it” (p. 22).

“There can be no spiritual health without doctrinal knowledge; but it is equally true that there can be no spiritual health with it, if it is sought for the wrong purpose and valued by the wrong standard” (p. 22). I very much appreciate that he doesn’t downplay Bible study or knowledge – too many people today, trying to make the same point Packer does, tend to set up false dichotomies about whether we love God or the Bible when we actually learn to love God through the Bible. Rather, he says, yes, study God’s Word – that’s how we learn what He wants us to know about Him – but don’t stop with the academics and the facts. Yearn to get to know God Himself through your study of His Word.

The psalmist [of Psalm 119] was interested in truth and orthodoxy, in biblical teaching and theology, not as ends in themselves, but as means to the further ends of life and godliness. His ultimate concern was with the knowledge and service of the great God whose truth he sought to understand (pp. 22-23).

One of the ways we do this is by meditation, “the activity of calling to mind, and thinking over, and dwelling on, and applying to oneself, the various things that one knows about the works and ways and purposes and promises of God. It is an activity of holy thought, consciously performed in the presence of God, under the eye of God, by the help of God, and as a means of communion with God. Its purpose is to clear one’s mental and spiritual vision of God, and to let His truth make its full and proper impact on one’s mind and heart. It is a matter of talking to oneself about God and oneself; it is, indeed, often a matter of arguing with oneself, reasoning oneself out of moods of doubt and unbelief into a clear apprehension of God’s power and grace” (p. 23).

Chapter 2, “The People Who Know Their God,” Packer expands on the theme of knowing God vs. just knowing about Him. Daniel 11:32b says, “the people that do know their God shall be strong, and do exploits,” or, as another version states it, “shall stand firm and take action.” Drawing from the book of Daniel, he notes and discusses that:

Those who know their God have great energy for God.
Those who know their God have great thoughts of God.
Those who know their God have great boldness for God.Those who know their God have great contentment in God.

It’s not too late if you’d like to join in on this study. We’re reading and discussing two chapters a week, and the chapters are easy to read and not long. I am finding it very beneficial so far.

Laudable Linkage

Posted on August 8, 2015 by Barbara Harper

It has been quite a while since I have been able to do one of these, but here are some posts I’ve found interesting the last few weeks. Maybe you’ll enjoy one or two of them as well:

Planned Parenthood: Four Ways to Respond.

Explaining the Problem Does Not Eliminate the Problem.

Gentle Selfishness, HT to Challies. Guilty.

How We Do Family Devotions.

Are You Believing This Lie About Love?

Getting Acquainted With God.

The Sunday Worship Killer.

A Right Theology of Fear (and Why You Need It.)

A few on mothering:

Talking to Your Kids About Same-Sex Marriage.

The Beginning of the Sacrifice of motherhood.

How Much Should a Mom Minster Outside the Home?

Hidden. God has a purpose in “hidden years.”

A few on online communication:

How Should Christians Comment Online?

An Embarrassing Week For Christians Sharing Fake News. Yes! Confirm before you share.

Why I Removed Extremely Effective Pop-ups From My Web Site. Yes! Wish everyone would do this!

What Makes Readers Lose Interest in a Blog?

Four Easy Ways to Create Quote Graphics for Facebook, Pinterest, and Your Blog. Do you use any of these, or any others? I’ve used Quozio a few times.

21 Self-Editing Secrets That Can Supercharge Your Manuscript.

In Zimbabwe, We Don’t Cry For Lions. HT to Challies. A different and refreshing perspective on the Cecil the Lion story.

Someone shared this on Facebook:

Amen! Happy Saturday!

Exceeding abundantly, but unseen

Posted on July 22, 2015 by Barbara Harper

In one of those “one thought leads to another” progressions, a line in girltalk’s post this morning, “No Grace For Your Imagination,” stood out to me: “But for today’s sufficient trouble there is God’s more-than-sufficient grace.” That reminded me of Ephesians 3:20: “Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us.” That, in turn, got me to thinking that we tend to associate “exceeding abundantly” as “big and dramatic,” but often the process of God’s working is barely perceptible. We also tend to associate it with material needs, and it can apply to those, but look at the prayer requests that proceeded this tribute to God:

For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.

This passage, along with Colossians 1:9-14 and Philippians 1:9-11, is one that I often pray for myself and my loved ones. The particular qualities mentioned are not only unseen and internal (though the results of them are seen), they’re also the kinds of things we don’t receive in a moment. They take time to grow and develop.So praying for them can often seem discouraging because we “don’t see anything happening.” Yet even in those, especially in those, we can trust God to work “exceeding abundantly.”

For years I had written Bible verses out at the bottom of my letters to my father. He never commented on them, so I just assumed he skipped over them, thinking, “There she goes again” while rolling his eyes. Yet he told the pastor who led him to the Lord that he had read them. My mother, as well, went from not wanting to hear about the things of the Lord to being very open to them at the end of her life. If I had asked her what caused the change or how it happened, she probably could not have told me. I’ve mentioned before a missionary who longed and prayed to be more loving, and turned from berating herself to instead meditating on God’s love for her, resulting in changes she wasn’t even aware of until people commented to her husband about the change in her. Many of us have experienced being given grace and strength for a trial that we didn’t “feel” so much at the time, but looking back, we wondered how we ever got through it and knew we could only have done so by God’s grace.

William Cowper says in his hymn, “God Moves in Mysterious Ways,”

Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs
And works His sovereign will.

Even in the deepest recesses of hearts, we can trust Him to work “exceeding abundantly” to answer our requests and fulfill His will.

It’s ok to say it hurts

Posted on July 20, 2015 by Barbara Harper

Recently a friend shared a painful incident that had occurred in her life, and when a couple of us who were listening tried to express sympathy, her tone changed to one of upbeat cheeriness while she tried to assure us everything was ok and she was rejoicing in the Lord.

It’s not the first time that kind of thing has happened.

As Christians, when we face some kind of trial, we remind ourselves of Biblical truth: God is in control, this has not taken Him by surprise, He has a purpose for it, something to teach us in it; He wants to grow our faith by it; He will give us the grace and strength to deal with it. Those are comforting and do help us as we work through the situation.

On top of that, we’re conscious that other people are watching, and we want to be a good testimony and to glorify God in our responses. So sometimes we translate that into putting on a happy face before others and dealing with our confusion and pain in private.

I’ve mentioned that I used to do this after contracting transverse myelitis and finding an online support group of TM patients and caregivers. Honestly, at first I didn’t join them with the idea of trying to be a good testimony. I was just looking for answers in an era when I couldn’t find information anywhere else (thankfully there is a great amount of information available now). But as I interacted with the group, I did realize that I couldn’t help but share God’s grace in dealing with me and helping me cope. I wanted to represent Him well, so I shared only the positive and kept to myself the hard days and frustrations. Later on another Christian joined the group, and she was refreshingly honest and real about her struggles, yet still expressed faith and reliance on God. That was one incident that helped me realize that having joy in the Lord is not the same thing as grinning and bearing it or keeping a stiff upper lip.

The Bible is full of God’s people speaking honestly about their pain and trouble. The Psalms especially are balm for a weary soul. Lamentations shares the full emotion resulting from God’s judgment even while acknowledging God’s justice in His actions. Paul says, “ We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body” (2 Corinthians 4:8-10). He admits to being troubled, perplexed, and cast down while still testifying to God’s keeping him from being distressed, in despair, forsaken, and destroyed. Even our Lord Jesus “offered up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears unto him that was able to save him from death” (Hebrews 5:7).

I admit it’s hard sometimes to find the balance. We do want to honor the Lord in our trials and not sound like we’re complaining. But I think it helps people more to see us apply Biblical truth to our painful situation rather than acting like we’re above it all and unaffected. Thus, I’d rather hear, “It hurts that so many special things were stolen in the break-in, but it’s a reminder to us that thieves do break through and steal in this world, and we’re to store up treasures in heaven” than an attempt to brush it off. Or, “God, this disease really hurts today. I so wish and pray you’d take it from me. In the meantime, please give me the grace to deal with it.” Or, “I don’t understand why God took my wife home so early, and it hurts like crazy, but I depend on His grace moment by moment.” In one of Elisabeth Elliot’s writings, she said that even with knowing so many wonderful things God did as a result of her husband’s death, that still didn’t satisfy. God can save people and draw them to a closer walk with Him or into service for Him without taking someone’s life to do so. Yet she accepted it and trusted Him in the midst of it. The “peace that passes understanding” that God gives when we take our requests to Him with prayer and thanksgiving doesn’t deny the pain or problems: in fact, it’s all the more marvelous because it occurs in the midst of the pain and problems.

It doesn’t dishonor God to say that something hurts or confuses us. It might dishonor Him to wallow in it without looking to Him. But when we look to Him, honor Him, rejoice in Him, and trust Him even while acknowledging painful or frustrating situations, people see His grace is sufficient for any need.

For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong. 2 Corinthians 12:8-10

Sharing at Thought-Provoking Thursday.

Fallow Hearts

Posted on July 15, 2015 by Barbara Harper

The parable of the sower speaks of different “soils” of the heart that produced different results from the sowing of the Word of God. What can we do to help our hearts be “good ground” so that God’s Word can take root and bring forth fruit?

1. Hosea 10:12 says, “ Sow to yourselves in righteousness, reap in mercy; break up your fallow ground: for it is time to seek the LORD, till he come and rain righteousness upon you.” Jeremiah 4:3 also speaks of breaking up our fallow ground.

2. We need to remove the “stones,” the hard places of our willfulness, and the “thorns” of the cares and pleasures of this life which want to choke out the Word. In a different seed metaphor, the seed being ourselves this time, John 12: 24-25 says, “Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit. He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal.” In order to bring forth spiritual fruit we have to be willing to die to our own plans, dreams, desires, and will and yield all of those things to the Lord. This sounds so difficult, and it is, but the more we know the Lord, the more we can trust Him with all of those things and stop grasping them for ourselves, thinking we can protect them. His way really is so much better, but often we can’t see that til we get on the other side of the issue at hand, til after we’ve yielded. That’s where faith comes in — faith in Who He is, His love, wisdom, and goodness.

3. Psalm 25:9 says, “ The meek will he guide in judgment: and the meek will he teach his way.” Elisabeth Elliot writes in Keep a Quiet Heart, “Meekness is teachability. ‘The meek will he teach his way’ (Psalm 25:9, KJV). It is the readiness to be shown, which includes the readiness to lay down my fixed notions, my objections and ‘what ifs’ or ‘but what abouts,’ my certainties about the rightness of what I have always done or thought or said. It is the child’s glad ‘Show me! Is this the way? Please help me.’ We won’t make it into the kingdom without that childlikeness, that simple willingness to be taught and corrected and helped. ‘Receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls’ (James 1:21, KJV). Meekness is an explicitly spiritual quality, a fruit of the Spirit, learned, not inherited. It shows in the kind of attention we pay to one another, the tone of voice we use, the facial expression.”

4. Psalm 25:14 says, “The secret of the LORD is with them that fear him; and he will shew them his covenant.” Reverence for the Lord makes us teachable. Proverbs 1:7 says, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

5. In Matthew 15:16 and Mark 7:13, Jesus tells the Pharisees and scribes that they have made the commandment or word of God “of none effect” through their traditions. That is a scary thought, that we can diminish the effectiveness of the Word by our preconceived notions or our imposing on the Word our own ideas of what it says or means.

6. In John 7:17, Jesus says, “If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself.” A willingness to do His will makes us teachable.

This is not meant to be an exhaustive list, and there are probably many other aspects to consider, but, if you’re like me, this is more than enough to get started.

What do we do, though, if we’re not feeling particularly meek, if we know we don’t reverence the Lord as we ought, if we’re feeling stubborn and willful and we know it is wrong, but we don’t know quite what to do with ourselves? Should we avoid the Word, then, thinking it will be useless with our hearts in that condition? That’s exactly what we need not to do. One definition for “fallow” at Dictionary.com is “not in use; inactive.” The last thing we need is to let the “ground” of our hearts remain inactive. That’s one of the times we need the Word the most.

When I am feeling like that, first of all I pray and confess that to the Lord and ask Him to change my heart. Then I look up verses like three in Psalm 80 which say, “Turn us again, O God, and cause thy face to shine; and we shall be saved,” or Psalm 85:6: “Wilt thou not revive us again: that thy people may rejoice in thee?” or Psalm 119:36-37: “Incline my heart unto thy testimonies, and not to covetousness. Turn away mine eyes from beholding vanity; and quicken thou me in thy way” or Psalm 119: 10-11: “ Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness. Quicken me, O LORD, for thy name’s sake: for thy righteousness’ sake bring my soul out of trouble.” (If you have a concordance or Online Bible program, it’s very helpful to search for the word “quicken” and read through the verses that contain that word, and use those in your own prayers.

When we go to Him confessing our lack of meekness, reverence, and willingness and asking Him to work on us in those areas, then He can use His Word to begin to plow up the soil of our hearts and make “good ground.”

If we leave a field untended, it grows weeds and the ground hardens again. So this plowing must be a continual process. It might sound painful, “but no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby” (Heb. 12:11). The more our hearts are “weeded” and kept soft and pliable, the more the seed of God’s Word can take root and bring forth fruit.

Break up my fallow ground, Give a heart just like your own.
Where your word will find sweet soil Everywhere that it is sown.
Break up my fallow ground, Rid my heart of sinful stone.
Break up my fallow ground–My heart your throne

Lord you saved me with your blood you shed on Calvary,
And sweet blessings you have given everyday.
But my stubborn heart has often not been yielded
To your plan you had for me–your perfect way.

Every day I am so easily distracted
from the glory and the joy of serving Thee.
Wicked pride and bitterness are there to strangle,
Sinful habits keep me from the victory.

~ Julia Montoro

(Photos courtesy of the stock.xchng)

(Revised and reposted from the archives)

Sharing at Thought-Provoking Thursday.

Laudable Linkage

Posted on July 10, 2015 by Barbara Harper

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve shared some links that caught my eye. Here are the latest – hope you find something of interest:

As Somebody Somewhere Said. Good reasons to read the Bible as a whole rather than only parts of it.

Hoaxes and Hermeneutics. The need for learning how to interpret the Bible rightly.

How To Complain Without Grumbling. There’s a difference, and I am so glad to see someone finally say so.

Jesus Speaks Out For Marriage.

How the Gospel Ended My Same-Sex Relationship.

Do You Treat Your Husband Worse Than a Stranger?

5 Questions I Wish My Accountability Partner Would Ask Me. I am wary of accountability partner set-ups for several reasons, and while the author still recommends them, he advocates facets that are much more in line with Biblical accountability and relationships that what I usually see.

Twenty Years. A man’s reflection on twenty years of marriage.

Mama, Are You Thinking Ahead?

Teach Your Children to Have Devotions. Wish I’d had something like this to read when mine were small.

It’s OK For Kids to Be Bored During Church.

Why Little Kids Need Big Biblical Words.

Cherishing and Protecting Our Freedoms.

4 Tips For Dealing With Procrastination.

Navigating the Challenges of Real Life Online. “If you share everything, you’re an exhibitionist. If you share nothing, you’re closed-off and unapproachable. If you share too many good things, you’re fake. If you share too many bad things, you’re a whiner.” Jenn discusses some principles and guidelines for finding balance here.

10 Things Photographers Hate With a Passion. I had never seen the dinosaur wedding thing before. Bizarre! I don’t agree with every point – I think some trendy or “as seen on Pinterest” requests are inevitable – but otherwise some good things for us to think about.

And I saw this on the C. S. Lewis Facebook Page.

Happy Independence Day!

Posted on July 4, 2015 by Barbara Harper

I discovered the following on the back of a church bulletin in a box I was cleaning out. It was written by a former pastor of our family’s, Jesse L. Boyd, for whom our son, Jesse, was named.

Are Your Free?

One of the frequent cries of our day is, “I want to be free.” Well, what is freedom? It is not the living of life without restraints of law.

It is not licentiousness or immorality, because their slimy arms can soon wrap us up in their dark and dismal prison-house of suffering.

It is not the lack of government, but rather the privilege of having the right of freely enjoying one’s own government.

It is true Americanism: founded on the Holy Bible, bequeathed to us by our forefathers, and symbolized in Old Glory — The Star-Spangled Banner — “Oh, long may it wave o’er the land of the free, and the home of the brave.”

It is the privilege of spending one’s treasure, of spilling one’s blood, and of being prompted by the spirit of liberty to stand against despotism and tyranny.

It is liberty and loyalty combined.

It is the enjoyment of civil and religious liberty.

It is the title to justice.

It is living as one should; no wicked man lives as he should, therefore, he is never free.

It is having full mastery over all matter.

Freedom ends where tyranny begins.

It comes by mastering one’s self.

It comes through knowing the truth. “Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (John 8:32).

It comes through receiving Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour. “If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed” (John 8:36). “It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1, NAS). “For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death” (Romans 8:2). Hallelujah! What a Saviour!

Freedom is that which one receives from God in the new birth. Man cannot govern himself, because, when all restraints are taken away, then evil dethrones him. He can only find rest (soul rest; freedom) in the arms of Jesus Christ. Are you free?