Book Review: Better To Be Broken

Better_to_Be_BrokenBetter to Be Broken is the testimony of Rick Huntress. The book opens with a horrific accident: while on a training mission on an Air Reserve base in GA, the locking system for the two-ton cargo bay door of an airplane where Rick was supervising a cargo load failed, and the door came crashing onto his head, shattering three vertebrae which severed his spinal cord, leaving him a paraplegic.

The next chapter goes back to Rick’s previous life. He had accepted Christ as his Savior at a young age, but early on he loved “praise and accolades.” “Because I had no understanding at that age where my gifts came from, the deadly sin of pride thrived in fertile soil…It made me think I was something special, and that attitude only served later to alienate me from my peers.” He developed a drive to be on top, out front, well thought of, and so he hid his personal weaknesses and his real self. He served in the Air Force, married, attended college, and started a good job all with the same mentality. After a while things began to deteriorate, especially in his marriage.

The next chapter picks back up to the time right after the accident and the ensuing weeks in a hospital. Between pain, drugs, confusion, and fear, finally his walls started breaking down. He tells not only of the progress in his condition but also the progress in his soul as he began to face reality.

I wouldn’t say that God caused my accident to happen, but He did allow it to happen. During the weeks after my surgery, as my body was physically healing, God knew that what I needed most was spiritual healing. That could only be accomplished by His direct hand. He brought me to a place in which rescue was possible only by complete trust in Him. It had been so long since I had trusted in Him that I had forgotten how. But from the moment of the accident, the journey had begun.

Verse 17 of Psalm 51 says, “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou with not despise.” I, too, was broken, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. My broken back is a blessing from God. He used it to bring me back to Himself. I have heard it said, “God sometimes puts us flat on our back, so we can learn to look up at Him.” That certainly was true for me.

Rick continues to tell of physical and mental adjustments once he was well enough to go home, adjustments to the house, to life in a wheelchair, to not being able to do what he always did. It was hard to navigate the “new normal.” But eventually he came to peace with the differences and found new ways to serve, especially ministering to others in similar circumstances. He once even organized a memorable trip to Israel for several disabled people.

Rick concludes, “If it took a wheelchair for me to have a close relationship with my heavenly Father, then I would choose it all again” and “This is not a sob story about my broken body, it is my sincere attempt to give God the glory for breaking my stubborn will. It is the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Though I winced at several of the things Rick had to go through, I was greatly blessed and challenged by his story, and I highly recommend it to you.

(This review will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

Laudable Linkage

It has been almost a month since I’ve shared links that I have found interesting for one reason for another, so I hope you’ll forgive a longer list this time, and I hope you find something of interest among them:

Twenty-One Grains of Wheat. A must-read about the 21 people killed by ISIS.

An Extraordinary Skill for Ordinary Christians. Ways any of us can minister to others.

How to Make the Most of Your Bible Study.

Intimacy or Familiarity. Sometimes it is good to read large portions of the Bible to get the overall view, sometimes it is good to hone in on a smaller passage for a longer time. Love the truth that Bible study doesn’t have to be either/or, but that we need both.

23 Things That Love Is.

What My 9-Year-Old Taught Me About Being Willing to Follow God Into Uncomfortable Places.

How to Spot Mean Girls at Church, and How Not To Be One.

When To Overlook a Fault. This is something I’ve struggled with – when to confront and when to overlook.

When Pain Enters, HT to Lisa. Setting aside the Calvinist/non-Calvinist arguments over which so many disagree, there are some good thoughts from one in pain about how God uses it.

Praying For Adult Children.

Spurgeon on Christians Who Rail Against the Times. HT to Challies. Of course we observe the times and interpret them in light of what the Bible has to say, but I do get frustrated with those Christians whose constant theme is harping about how bad the times are. Evidently there were those even in Spurgeon’s day. I love what he had to say: “What have you and I to do with the times, except to serve God in them?” “We must not be “Woe! Woe!” Christians. We must be “Grace! Grace!” Christians.”

Gentle Fiction: What It Is and Why I Write It. I had never heard the term “gentle fiction” before, but it perfectly describes the kinds of books I most like to read.

Forty Portraits in Forty Years, HT to Challies. One photographer took a photo of four sisters once a year over 40 years. Fascinating to see the progression.

Adding Beauty. Love this philosophy of decorating and making home “homey.”

Why Missionaries Hate Airports from my real-life friend and missionary, Lou Ann. I always love glimpses into aspects of missionary life that we might not have thought of or realized.

Dear Moms: It’s OK to Be Unremarkable. Nothing wrong with gleaning neat ideas from Pinterest, posting pictures on Facebook, or making 3-layer cakes, but the point is well-made that we don’t need to “compete” in all these areas.

Are You Too Sensitive?

Six Reasons Your Husband May Not Like Your Women’s Group.

Dear Mom…Worried About Your Daughter’s Reading Material?

Emotional Vertigo.

7 Principles of Sabbath Rest.

God Makes One Baby Boy “Different” To Save Hundreds of Others.

And in the “You think YOU’VE got snow” category, Kathie, one of my FFF friends in Prince Edward Isle, showed 16-foot snow banks in her area and shared this funny clip:

Too much snow for me!

Hope you have a great day!

 

How Not to Become an Old Biddy

Crabby-Old-Lady

After I was married but before I had children, I worked for some years at a fabric shop. We had a variety of customers of all ages, but some of the ones that stood out to me were the older ladies. Some were very sweet. I remember one, after I had spent a great deal of time helping her (to choose some buttons, if I remember correctly), saying, “You’ve been so kind – here, let me buy you a cocoa” while she put some change on the counter. I don’t remember what I did in response: I remember thinking I probably shouldn’t take her money, but I didn’t want to offend her, either.

On the other hand, other older ladies were…cantankerous, to put it nicely. Really, all customers could fit into either of these categories, but somehow they seemed sharper and more focused in old age.

I remember thinking that I hoped when I became an old lady, I’d be one of the nicer ones. Then, of course, it dawned on me that I was in the process of becoming the kind of older lady I would be, and I needed to start working on that now.

Now I am in my “middle years,” but with “old age” looming some time in the future (when exactly it starts keeps getting pushed back further and further 🙂 ), I’ve started to think in a more concentrated manner about becoming the right kind of older lady. So I thought I’d preach to myself a little bit in preparation. You’re welcome to read along. Keep in mind I am preaching to myself, not older ladies – that’s not my place.

Avoiding the wrong kind of old age:

Having a know-it-all attitude. Years and experience can provide more wisdom, but we should never get to the place where we can’t humbly receive what someone else has to say.

“The way we always did it” syndrome. Every new generation brings with it new vocabulary, new technology, new methods. Older people can help younger ones discern between new methods and old truth and try to keep the latter from sliding into oblivion, but we shouldn’t insist that everything be done the way we always did it (or gripe when it isn’t).

Being busybodies. Many years ago, an older lady in our church at the time told one young mom of seven that she was having too many children too close together, and another young married lady, who with her husband wanted to wait until he was out of school before starting a family, that she needed to get busy and start having children. You can imagine that both women were hurt and offended. I am sure that was not the older woman’s intent and that she thought she was helping others with the benefit of her accumulated wisdom, but she overstepped. Before sharing advice, we really need to seek the Lord about whether it is really needed and how and when it should be shared.

Being quick to judge.

Gossiping.

Impatience. You would think a person would increase in patience over the years, but I have not found that to be the case for myself. This is one area I know I especially need to work on.

Forgetting what it is like to be young, to have small children. etc.

Sharp words.

Being caught up in our physical issues. I have mixed emotions about this one. One does start having more physical issues the older one gets, and we shouldn’t expect older people to try to cover that up: we need to listen and empathize. We know how we feel now when we’re ill or hurting for a few days or weeks: imagine if that was the norm and not the occasional occurrence. On the other hand, if I expand my horizons a little bit, it will probably help my own outlook as well as give me something else to talk about.

Developing into the right kind of old age.

Keep in the Word of God. If you’ve read it through several times during your life, you may feel like you’ve got it all down. But we always have room to learn and grow spiritually: we always need fresh communion with our heavenly Father.

Take an interest in others. One serious problem for older people in our churches, as they wane in energy or start having physical problems and can’t attend as often, is that we tend to forget them. Or we hope they’re doing ok but neglect taking the time to make contact, especially if they don’t have e-mail or aren’t on Facebook where we can do so easily. As we age we may get to a place where we can’t contact others, but until then, as much as possible we can take the initiative to make a phone call or send a note.

Look for ways to serve others. You may not be able to head VBS or organize a banquet or serve in the ways you used to, but you can look for ways you can serve in your present capacity.

Don’t stop learning and growing.

Come to terms with a failing body. I don’t mean that we stop taking care of ourselves, but we realize that our physical bodies come with a limited shelf life. Years ago I heard a radio preacher say that one reason God lets our bodies start failing us as we get older is to make us more willing to give them up when the time comes. Each aging problem is a reminder that I won’t live on this earth forever, and I need to be prepared for eternity.

Don’t be bitter. People have failed us and will continue to. “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:31-32).

Seek God’s will and wisdom in sharing advice. The Bible does say one thing older women are supposed to do is teach the younger (Titus 2:3-5), but it’s not always easy to know how to go about it. Dispensing unwanted advice right and left is not usually received well, especially, when it is done with harshness and impatience and a superior attitude. We need to pray much and be sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s leading in speaking to others.

Remember God has a purpose for your being here. I’ve heard older women wonder why they are still here when many of their loved ones have passed on and they can’t do much any more. Perhaps God wants you to minister in prayer for others or to be a godly example in your circumstances: perhaps He want to bless and grow others as they care for you.

Throughout my life, from my teens until now, God has placed older women at the stage just ahead of where I am whose example I can learn from. From single college girls to young wives to young parents to parents of older kids and then teens, and now facing the almost empty nest years and “middle age,” I’ve had godly examples to look to. I was inspired by one older lady where we used to live who was put into a frustrating situation of having to retire earlier than expected from a job she loved. She could have become bitter at the situation, but she came to terms with it and went on to find other ways to serve. I watched her make a point to welcome new people at church and invite them to sit with her, have other women two or three at a time over to her house for lunch, and visit with a couple of ladies in assisted living a few times a month. A couple of older ladies in our church now are consistently cheerful and take an active interest in others. One writes notes to my mother-in-law and gets together regularly with another older lady (neither of them drives, but the daughter of one takes them to a restaurant and then picks them up when they’re done).

My own mother-in-law has been a great example to me. I used to say I wanted to live until I was 100: after seeing what she has gone through in the last several years, I’ve amended that to “I want to live until I’m 100 if I can live in my own home, go to the bathroom by myself, and take care of myself.” I hope that will be the case, but God may allow something different in my life as He has in hers. So often when we’re changing her or positioning her or giving her a shower, I think, “You know, I would hate this – I would hate having other people have to handle me and take care of my most intimate needs and not be able to do anything for myself.” She probably would have felt the same way: everyone wants to be able to take care of themselves. But now that she is in this situation, she doesn’t complain (except maybe when our hands are too cold or when we have to wash a contracted hand that hurts) and is usually upbeat and cheerful. She thanks us for the least little thing we do for her. I remind myself that God gives grace for what we need when we need it: I don’t have the grace for old age now, but whatever situation God puts me in at that time, He will provide the grace then for it.

The Bible does have specific instruction for older women:

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Titus 2:3-5

A godly example of an older lady is found in I Timothy 3:9b-10:

…having been the wife of one man. Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints’ feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work.

Some of the older women in the Bible that stand out to me are Elisabeth, Mary’s cousin; Anna, who served God in the temple and told others about the coming Messiah; Lois, Timothy’s grandmother, whose “unfeigned faith,” along with that of his mother Eunice, surely influenced him.

And there is specific encouragement for that time of life:

Cast me not off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength faileth. Psalm 71:9

Those that be planted in the house of the Lord shall flourish in the courts of our God. They shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be fat and flourishing; To shew that the Lord is upright: he is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in him. Psalm 92:13-15

And even to your old age I am he; and even to hoar hairs will I carry you: I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver you.  Isaiah 46:4

Can you think of any other truths we need to keep in mind for our old age? Have you had any godly examples of older ladies in your life?

Book Review: Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl

LysaA few years ago I served a very brief stint as a book reviewer for a particular publisher. I love to read and love to talk about books, so what could be better than being given books for FREE to review, right? But the publisher sent me six books at a time every month. They didn’t expect me to read and review all six every month, but still – I didn’t want reviewing for a publisher to take over my reading time, so I dropped out. One of the books I received for review during that time was Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl by Lysa TerKeurst. I don’t think I had heard of Lysa before that time (since then I have read two of her other books), but this title caught my eye. I determined to read it “sometime,” and it got put in a box of unread books all awaiting the opportunity to see the light of day. I did get it out at one point and put it on a bookshelf – but still didn’t get to it. That’s one reason the TBR Challenge is good for me. At any rate, the copy I have is an advanced reader copy from 2009 (ahem…blush!), and on the back it says it is an “uncorrected proof,”  so it may be  a bit different in places from the version you can buy today. But the bulk of it should be the same.

When I first saw this book, I thought it was going to be about getting more from one’s Bible study. Though Lysa does discuss that in a couple of chapters, the overall purpose of the book is to move Bible study from our to-do list and just acquiring knowledge, to living out what God is teaching us, to enjoy a deeper connection with God.

Lysa says in the first chapter:

I want my life with Jesus to be fulfilling. I want my beliefs to work no matter what life throws at me. I want to be so certain of God’s presence that I never feel like I have to face anything in my own strength or rely on my own perspectives. My strength will weaken during hard times. My perspectives get skewed by my emotions.

I want total security no matter what happens. In other words, I want my relationship with Jesus to be enough to keep me sane and together and still fully devoted. Is this possible? True fulfillment no matter what?

Fulfillment means to be completely satisfied. How might our lives look if we were so filled with God’s truths we could let go of the pain of our past, not get tripped up by the troubles of today, or consumed by worries about tomorrow?…Just going through the motions [of prayer, Bible study, etc.] will not in and of themselves fill our souls. They must be done with the great expectation and heart cry for God to lead us into a deeper and more life-changing connection with Him (p. 25).

The rest of the book fleshes out that purpose, discussing being “good enough” (and how we aren’t except through Christ), not feeling like we measure up, our relationships, our thoughts, our ministries, when our “ugly comes out,” when we’re hurt or offended by God.

A few more quotes I noted:

“Why doesn’t Jesus work for me?” is never the right question. Instead, when circumstances shift and we feel like we fall short, we should ask, “How can I see Jesus even in this?” (p. 41).

Don’t we get into God’s Word so it can get into us? So that it can interrupt us, change us, satisfy us? How sad to simply settle for learning facts about the Bible when it was meant for so much more (p. 74).

Just because you…achieve what you always thought would make you feel special does not fix that deep-down internal insecurity. External achievement never equals internal acceptance (pp. 86-87).

Too many of us live with an uncontrolled thought life. It is possible to learn to identify destructive thoughts and make wiser choices. Instead of letting those thoughts rumble freely about in my mind, I make the choice to harness them and direct them toward truth (pp. 99-100).

Grace doesn’t give me a free pass to act out how I feel, with no regard to His commands. Rather, His grace gives me consolation in the moment, with a challenge to learn from this situation and become more mature in the future (p. 123).

Satan would love for us to pick ourselves apart, to obsess on the negative. When we do, we become hyper self-focused and take our eyes off of Jesus and the mission set before us. Many of us spend years trying to hide or fix what we perceive as personal flaws. Jesus would love for us to see ourselves as a package deal of unique qualities that He – the author and perfecter of our faith – saw as necessary for the life He’s calling us to live (p. 164). (She’s not talking here about not confessing sin: she discusses that in other places, but here she is referring to accepting how God made us).

Ask Jesus to help you fully understand the joys of obedience. Also, ask Him how you can be a woman fully committed to obedience without slipping into a legalistic approach to life. We must always remember our goal is pursuing revelations of Him. Our focus can’t be just following rules but following Jesus Himself (pp. 174-175).

I realized that most times it’s not the big things along my spiritual journey that tempt me to get off track. It’s a culmination of small daily aggravations I know God could fix but doesn’t. But what if instead of seeing these aggravations as inconveniences, I saw them as reminders to draw near to God? (p. 197).

How I long never to diminish God by loving lesser things. Rather, I want to make much of God by diminishing lesser things. May I make less of me, less of this world, less of the temporary…so that I may be a vessel more full of God, more full of eternal perspectives, more full of His everlasting! (p. 200).

Having a set of goals is a good thing for many people. But when a goal takes your focus off God and His daily intentions for you, it can cause trouble. Being driven by my plans can shift the focus of my heart from following God and being open to His unfolding invitations, to following only that which leads me closer to my desires. For me, I started falling into a trap of making plans each day around what I wanted to see happen. Anything that wasn’t part of my plan became a distraction and an unwelcome interruption (p. 211).

I have many more marked but should probably stop there. I particularly liked the chapters “Beyond Sunday Morning,” where she talks about looking at a verse phrase by phrase to discern its meaning, and “Unlikely Lessons From a Pineapple,” a great chapter talking about drawing lessons from the lives of people in the Bible, even familiar ones that we might feel we’ve known all there is to know since we were children.

I was especially blessed by a chapter where she talks about waiting for God’s timing in our calling and serving Him in the mundane, everyday tasks He has placed before us until then, realizing that they are our ministry unto Him, not a hindrance or interruption of our ministry. I came to that chapter the day after posting The Back Burner, which is along a similar vein, and was touched at God’s timing and confirmation of the truths He had been teaching me.

I appreciated Lysa’s personal experiences, transparency, and sense of humor throughout the book, but most of all I appreciated her high view of Scripture that was not an end in itself but a means of knowing and experiencing God.

There were just 2-3 minor places where I disagreed with her interpretation or application just a smidgen, but they’re not big enough to go into. I would just mention one place where, in communion with God, things were flooding her mind that she felt were from the Lord, she says, “Bits and pieces of Scripture were woven throughout, and it made me smile. It confirmed that this was, in fact, God speaking” (p. 197-198). Satan uses Scripture, too (Matthew 4), and just because thoughts come to our minds that contain Scripture doesn’t mean they are automatically from the Lord. A lot of cults have been founded on bits of Scripture wrongly interpreted and taken out of context. I’m not trying to diminish the experience she was telling about, and I feel sure she’d agree with what I am saying, but just the way it was phrased could, I thought, be confusing to some readers who might think that if a thought contained Scripture, that meant it was confirmation from the Lord.

Overall I thought this was a wonderful book that fulfilled its purpose to encourage women to go beyond checking the boxes in their Christian lives to deepening their relationship with God.

 

(This will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

Repost: The Back Burner

I’ve had some other obligations this week that have taken much of my computer time: I’ve been thinking about and working on some other posts, but they need to incubate a while longer. Meanwhile, this morning this post came back to mind, and I thought I’d share it again. Sometimes I chafe that there are still things on the back burner that I thought I’d be able to get to when my children got older. I have to accept that the circumstances God has me in are His will for me now, and if those other desires are truly from Him, He’ll make a way for them in His time. So even though the major thrust of this article has to do with parenting, it applies in any area where God wants us to wait on His timing.

This is one of the few articles I’ve had published. It appeared in Frontline magazine’s July-August 2005 issue. I wrote to Frontline asking permission to reprint the article here in January of 2008, which they granted: I am going to assume that permission extends to this repost as well.

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The Back Burner

Every mother, particularly one who has very small children, can get discouraged sometimes. Even though a woman has looked forward to being a mother all her life and delights in her child, there are those days when she feels she is accomplishing nothing beyond wiping noses and changing diapers, when she feels her mind is turning to mush after reading Dr. Seuss and Curious George all day, when she longs to do something “important.” Certain intellectual and creative pursuits have to be put on the back burner because there are only so many hours in the day. Even some ministry opportunities have to wait until the children are a bit older. It is easy to lament what we can’t do.

Of course, young mothers are not the only ones who have to put things on the back burner. Newlyweds, new teachers, students, young singles getting started in a career, middle-aged children taking care of an elderly parent, and any number of other life situations will cause us to have to focus on the business at hand and delay other pursuits. But motherhood is the area through which the Lord taught me about the back burner.

Some 15-20 years ago I read something in a secular women’s magazine that greatly encouraged me and has stayed with me ever since. Unfortunately, I can’t remember even what magazine it was, much less what author. The writer was talking those things that have to be put on the back burner. But, she wrote, what is usually on the back burner when we are cooking? Isn’t it something that has to simmer awhile, that is all the richer in flavor for the time it spent there on the back burner? The meat gets tender, the flavors blend, the smell wafts though the house, and we can hardly wait until dinnertime.

Oh, dear mother….what you are doing is vitally important. Your little one may not remember the specific things you did together or all your loving care in their early childhood, but those loving ministrations laid the foundation for your future relationship. The time you spend together reading, playing, rocking, feeding, nurturing a new little life that God has given to you to care for is precious.

As the children get older, their need of your care is still vital, though it is different from when they were small. Instead of feeling isolated at home, you may feel you are nearly living out of your car with all the places you have to take your children to. We have to keep a balance between giving them opportunities and spreading everyone too thin, but some of those times in the car can be precious as well. One of my sons does not open up to me if I sit across the table from him and ask him how things are going in his life, but a casual conversation or observation made while we are out and about can give me glimpses into his heart. Sometimes children feel a little freer to open up while we’re driving.

Someone once said, “With children, the days are long, but the years are short.” That is all too true. You have heard it before, but they do grow up so fast. You always have a ministry with them and an influence on them, but your main years of training them are when they are little. Redeem the time and enjoy it to the hilt.

Don’t worry about those things on the back burner. Give them a stir every now and then. Perhaps you can skim over the newspaper headlines or watch some of the evening news with your husband, or spend 15 minutes or so a day reading a good book to stimulate your mind. Buy a craft kit, take a class, jot down story ideas, or somehow “stir the pot” of whatever your areas of interest are. Take advantage of opportunities to get together with other ladies for fellowship. Explore what ministry opportunities you can within the constraints of your situation, but remember that ministry doesn’t only take place within the four walls of the church: getting to know your neighbor, inviting another mother from the baseball league to church, baby-sitting for another mother for a doctor’s appointment, giving a tract to the repairman are all outlets through which the Lord can use you as well as being an example to your children.

Then, as you stir those things on the back burner from time to time, perhaps you can take a small taste to test the readiness of it. After all, if you start to write the next great novel, and find the timing still isn’t right, you can let it simmer a little longer.

Don’t get discouraged if other women seem to have all their burners going at once, accomplishing things right and left. I used to lament that I couldn’t do as much as some other ladies til I finally had to come to grips with the fact that God made us with different capacities, abilities, and personalities.

Ultimately we have to entrust those back burner issues to our loving Lord and ask His guidance as to when and how to proceed with them. There may be some things He wants us to relinquish completely, and here our back burner analogy breaks down: there are some things He never intended for us to pursue, and we have to set aside what was a personal desire that was not His will. We have to remind ourselves that, no matter how strong and even good a desire was, if it is not God’s will, it would not have been good for us and may actually have been harmful and taken away from what He did have for us to do. On the other hand, we can’t let the back burner become a place of excuses and, due to laziness or fear, place things there that the Lord does want us to pursue now. How can we know the difference? By walking with him day by day, seeking His guidance, asking Him to open doors He wants open and close doors He wants closed. When it is His timing to finally serve one of those “back burner” dishes, it will indeed be “just right.”

Laudable Linkage

Its been another good week with some thought-provoking posts to ponder:

Open Roof Hospitality. Very convicting to me. If I had been the lady of the house whose roof was being torn up so people could bring their paralytic friend to Jesus, my first emotion would not have been gratitude and joy, I’m sure.

Pressing In To the Ungrateful.

Is It Possible For Christians to Idolize the Bible?

Seven Questions to Ask Before Having a Difficult Conversation.

The 3-Second Pause That Can Save a Morning and Spare Some Pain.

Six Observations About Speaking to Pastors Right Before They Preach. Although these are especially true for pastors for obvious reasons, many of them hold true for anyone. Once when my husband was the head usher in a very tightly packed church and was trying to find seats for people right before the service, someone who was also a neighbor chose that moment to tell him that he thought the lawn mower that we often let him borrow had been stolen. Hard to concentrate on anything in the service after that. 🙂

The Do Not Depart site has been focusing this month on what we can learn from the lives of Godly Women: Inspiring Stories of Faithful Daughters, mostly from the past. You know how much I love biographies, so I have enjoyed this series. So far they’ve shared from the lives of Corrie ten Boom, Susanna Wesley, Elisabeth Elliot, Helen Roseveare, Harriet Tubman, and Monica of Hippo (Augustine’s mother).

I saw this on Facebook and thought it rang very true. 🙂

Sports

The bad weather that was forecast for last night did not happen, yay! Have a wonderful Saturday!

Laudable Linkage

Here are some noteworthy reads discovered in the last couple of weeks:

My Love List, for when you need to remind yourself of God’s love for you.

One Indispensable Rule for Bible study.

9 Things You Need to Know About Widows.

What Everybody Ought to Know About Moms and Sons.

The Lens of Attention. Loved this.

What to Say to That Immodestly Dressed Girl at Church. Mentioned this last Thursday but wanted to list it here as well.

Stages of Grief: Anger. Alicia has been discussing stages of grief, and Christian ways to handle them, in reference to a life-changing condition.

How to Write Good.

Finally, Carrie shared some bookworm problems earlier this week, and I could identify with many, especially these:

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bookworm1

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Hope you have a great weekend!

 

Are We Responsible for God’s Reputation?

One of the things writing does for me is to help me think things through in ways that I can’t always do mentally. With writing I can take each strand of swirling thoughts, lay it out in black and white, follow it through to completion, go on to another, put them all together in some order, and then stand back and take a look at them. When I try to do that without writing them down, they just continue to swirl, and I can only think about one part for a brief time.

Something that’s been on the back of my mind for months is an offhand statement I saw on someone’s blog. When I go to a new blog, if what I see there interests me, I often will check out the “About Me” section to find out a little more about the person, to get more of an idea of who it is I am reading about. A part of what this particular blogger wanted people to know about her was that she was taught in her church and youth group to keep certain standards in order to maintain a good testimony before others, so people would think well of her God by what they saw her do;  but as she got older she felt that many of those standards went beyond the parameter of what she was called to do, and furthermore, she felt that she was not responsible for God’s reputation, that He was big enough to take care of that on His own. She wasn’t advocating a total overthrow of any standards at all, but she was refusing to place them on that level on importance.

Now, I agree with this young woman that some people go beyond what the Bible actually teaches or implies in their standards, and that some place their standards almost on par with the ten commandments and look quite condescendingly at anyone who practices something different than they do, and that both of those approaches are wrong. What I mean by standards are the practical ways people work out their beliefs and convictions that may vary from person to person (Romans 14) as opposed to the bedrock doctrinal truth that there can be no variations on.

But what really stood out to me and has had me pondering these many months is the thought that we are not responsible for God’s reputation. Is that true?

First my mind went back to verses in the New Testament about doing or not doing things so that God’s Word is not blasphemed. For instance in Titus 2:3-5, older godly women are instructed to teach younger women in a variety of areas – soberness (self-control in the ESV), loving husband and children, being “discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands,” so that “the word of God be not blasphemed” (reviled in the ESV). The word of God can be blasphemed when I am indiscreet, lacking in self-control, or unloving to my family? Apparently so.

In I Timothy 6:1, servants were to “count their own masters worthy of all honour, that the name of God and his doctrine be not blasphemed.”

I Peter 2:11-12 says, “Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.”

Philippians 4: 5 says, “Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand.”

Philippians 1:27 says, “Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel.”

In II Corinthians 6:3-4a. Paul says, “We put no obstacle in anyone’s way, so that no fault may be found with our ministry, but as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way.”

In the Old Testament, God’s reputation was a motive for prayer. When God was going to destroy the Israelites for their lack of faith in going into the promised land, Moses prayed:

“Then the Egyptians will hear of it, for you brought up this people in your might from among them, and they will tell the inhabitants of this land. They have heard that you, O Lord, are in the midst of this people. For you, O Lord, are seen face to face, and your cloud stands over them and you go before them, in a pillar of cloud by day and in a pillar of fire by night. Now if you kill this people as one man, then the nations who have heard your fame will say, ‘It is because the Lord was not able to bring this people into the land that he swore to give to them that he has killed them in the wilderness.’” (Numbers 14:13-16).

In Psalm 106:21, 27, David prays, “But you, O God my Lord, deal on my behalf for your name’s sake; because your steadfast love is good, deliver me!…Let them know that this is your hand; you, O Lord, have done it!

The sake of God’s name is a factor in many prayers and actions in the Bible, so I think, yes, we should be concerned about how we are representing God in what we say and do. Stated a little differently, I Corinthians 6:19-20 conclude that we should not do certain things because “your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”

That doesn’t mean different people can’t have different standards. I think people’s carping about other people’s different standards does far more harm to the reputation of God’s people than the different standards do. The Bible does teach grace in dealing with others who may not see everything quite the same way we do. But our motivating factor should be God’s honor and glory: even those with different practices in Romans 14 each did what they did “as unto the Lord.”

On the other hand, sometimes God does call someone to do something that seems harmful to their reputation, and to His. Mary’s reputation suffered as well as Jesus’s by the virgin birth, but it suffered in the eyes of people who didn’t believe it, and someday it will be vindicated. There are actions of God, or sometimes what seems to be a lack of action, that cause some to call Him unfair. But off the top of my head, areas in which people criticize God come down to problems on our end of things, not His. We don’t see the big picture or understand all His purposes and lack faith in His character, His wisdom, His love, etc.  He is willing to risk being misunderstood to do what is right and necessary in any given situation and He wants us to know Him and trust Him even when everything doesn’t make sense to us.

When Jesus lived on the earth, He “made Himself of no reputation” and “though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped.” He did defend and explain His Father and even His own actions sometimes, but He wasn’t grasping after His rights or His “place” as the Son of God.

It is a misguided attempt to defend God’s reputation that sometimes earns Christians and the God they think they are representing a bad reputation. In almost any online forum, when a non-Christian makes a disparaging remark about God or the Bible or Christianity, you can count on some Christian leaping to God’s defense. That is not a bad thing in itself, but it can be if it is done harshly or condescendingly. Just this morning I came across a blog post about why Christians don’t seek to avenge insults against God: He Himself showed people grace in their ignorance and unbelief when He died for them on the cross, and in His love and longsuffering He waits and draws them to Himself. He wants us to show that same grace, love, kindness, and longsuffering. Of course we can and should soak ourselves in His Word and attempt to explain or put things into perspective for others and ask God to make it plain to them. Jude 3 speaks of “earnestly contending for the faith,” and I Peter 3: 14b-16 says, “But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame.” That’s quite a different stance than “pouncing” on someone for saying something out of line with the Bible.

The more I think about this issue, the more I realize it is probably too big a topic for one simple blog post. But here are some conclusions I think I can draw so far:

1. Yes, God can take care of His own reputation. He is willing to be misunderstood in the short term, but some day everything will be set to rights and people will see and know Him for who He really is.

2. We can and should contend for the faith and have a reason for the hope that lies within us, but we should be gracious and respectful about it.

3. We do represent God both to other Christians and to unbelievers and we do need to be aware that our actions and attitudes reflect on Him favorably or unfavorably.

4. That will filter down into our everyday lives and standards. But I don’t think the emphasis should be on keeping standards in order to maintain a good testimony. That puts all the focus on the outward form rather than the inward reality. As Erin Davis said in What to Say to That Immodestly Dressed Girl at Church:

This requires an important shift. We need to stop asking, “How can we get our girls to dress modestly?” and start asking, “How can we get our girls to be passionate students of God’s Word?” Hebrews 4:12 tells us that God’s Word works like a sword, surgically removing those parts of our hearts that don’t line up with the holiness of God. Which would you prefer? A girl who covers up out of obligation, or a girl who chooses to change because of God’s work in her through His Word?

Now, when it comes to immodesty, especially with three sons, my first instinct would be to say, “Let’s cover up first, even if it is out of obligation, and then we’ll study the reason for it.” 🙂 There may be times for that kind of an approach: as a parent, often you have to require certain actions and standards for your children even if they don’t understand the reasons behind them. But the motivation, the overarching focus should be love for God and living for Him and what pleases Him and brings Him glory. It should be that inner love that works itself out into our everyday actions. In one biography I read years ago, a young person had grown up with certain standards against “worldliness” which she then joyfully jumped into when she turned away from God for a time. But once she came to truly know Him, the more she grew in her knowledge of Him and love for Him, the more those things just fell away on their own.

From a writerly point of view, I should probably let this sit a few more days and tighten, organize, and “polish” it better. But I am going to let it stand as a “thinking through my fingers” post.

What are your thoughts about our responsibility for God’s reputation?

Laudable Linkage

It’s been about a month since I shared interesting reading I’ve found around the Web. Here is what especially caught my eye lately:

Stop Waiting For a Zap. This was one that hit me right between the eyes.

How Salvation Brings Freedom. Excellent.

No Voice Like Yours.

The Tragic Prevalence of Sexual Assault. Best ways to handle the accusation for both parties.

Is It Biblical to Teach Our Kids About Sex?

A Response to “No, You’re Not Running Late. You Are Rude and Inconsiderate.” Good balance. People who are chronically late do need to realize the impact their lateness has on others and work on some time management skills, but we need to be careful not to sit in judgement whenever someone is late, for reasons the author delineates.

Are You Doing Too Much? Something we all need to evaluate periodically, especially if we’re feeling stressed or drained.

The Trail of Bible Documents. A good and clear explanation of them the different manuscripts Bible translators use.

Are You Ignoring Your Mommy Radar?

Finally, this is one of the most beautiful renditions of “Silent Night” I have ever heard. I wish they had done more than the first stanza, but the harmonies and expression are just beautiful.

Happy Saturday!

 

Book Review: The Weight of Glory

Weight of GloryThe Weight of Glory and Other Addresses by C. S. Lewis is a collection of his essays. Some were sermons, some were addressed to specific groups, a couple were published in other venues. Five of them were published together in a book during his lifetime and a few more were added in a 1980 revision. There is a lengthy introduction by Walter Hooper, in which he gives some of the background of the essays, where, when, and to whom they were given, as well as his connection to Lewis.

I probably have a higher percentage of pages tabbed in this book than any other. I’ll list the essays with a few words about each:

“The Weight of Glory” discusses out desire for heaven and what “glory” actually means. That seems like such a paltry summation, but thoughts from this essay stayed with me for days. An excellent outline of the chapter is here. In talking about whether the promise of heaven is a “bribe” and whether longing for it is right, Lewis remarks:

“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased” (p. 26).

He speaks of the almost ineffable quality of longing we have for something we haven’t quite experienced yet:

“In speaking of this desire for our own far off country, which we find in ourselves even now, I feel a certain shyness. I am almost committing an indecency. I am trying to rip open the inconsolable secret in each one of you—the secret which hurts so much that you take your revenge on it by calling it names like Nostalgia and Romanticism and Adolescence; the secret also which pierces with such sweetness that when, in very intimate conversation, the mention of it becomes imminent, we grow awkward and affect to laugh at ourselves; the secret we cannot hide and cannot tell, though we desire to do both. We cannot tell it because it is a desire for something that has never actually appeared in our experience. We cannot hide it because our experience is constantly suggesting it, and we betray ourselves like lovers at the mention of a name. Our commonest expedient is to call it beauty and behave as if that had settled the matter. …The books or the music in which we thought the beauty was located will betray us if we trust to them; it was not in them, it only came through them, and what came through them was longing. These things—the beauty, the memory of our own past—are good images of what we really desire; but if they are mistaken for the thing itself they turn into dumb idols, breaking the hearts of their worshipers. For they are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never yet visited” (pp. 30-31).

About the things we do not understand:

“If our religion is something objective, then we must never avert our eyes from those elements in it which seem puzzling or repellent; for it will be precisely the puzzling or the repellent which conceals what we do not yet know and need to know” (p. 34).

The section on the glory of heaven is deeply thought-provoking. Just one quote from it:

“The sense that in this universe we are treated as strangers, the longing to be acknowledged, to meet with some response, to bridge some chasm that yawns between us and reality, is part of our inconsolable secret. And surely, from this point of view, the promise of glory, in the sense described, becomes highly relevant to our deep desire. For glory means good report with God, acceptance by God, response, acknowledgement, and welcome into the heart of things. The door on which we have been knocking all our lives will open at last.”

I’ll try to be a little more brief with the remaining ones.

“Learning in War Time” addresses students who wonder if they should be working toward their chosen professions while the war is on, whether doing so is “like fiddling while Rome burns.” Lewis brings this into the larger question of whether “creatures who are every moment advancing either to Heaven or hell” should “spend any fraction of the little time allowed them in this world on such comparable trivialities as literature or art, mathematics or biology” (pp. 48-49). His answer is yes, and he goes on to explain why.

“The work of a Beethoven and the work of a charwoman become spiritual on precisely the same condition, that of being offered to God, of being done humbly ‘as to the Lord'” (pp. 55-56).

“An appetite for [knowledge, beauty, the arts] exists in the human mind, and God makes no appetite in vain” (p. 56).

“Why I Am Not a Pacifist” was given to a pacifist society in 1940. Lewis explains that while “war is very disagreeable,” there are just causes for war (for instance, what would have happened if no one had stood up to Hitler?) and there are Biblical examples affirming war. He then goes on to explain why Jesus’s command, “”But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also” (Matthew 5:39) is not a justification for pacifism. Lewis says the text “means exactly what is says, but with an understood reservation in favour of those obviously exceptional cases which every hearer would naturally assume to be exceptions without being told” (p. 85). One example he proposes is when one witnesses and attempted murder, tries to help, and is knocked away by the assailant. No one would think this verse meant to stand back and let the murderer have his way. But in a case where “the only relevant factors…are an injury to me by my neighbor and a desire on my part to retaliate,” we’re to mortify that desire.

“Transposition” was probably the hardest for me to grasp. The basic theme is that it is hard to take something very complex and put it into simple forms: for example, a pencil drawing or even a painting of a landscape may be beautiful and give us an idea of the actual scene, but it is not the same. The actual scene has elements which can’t be expressed in limited resources. We face the same problem with trying to explain spiritual things when there is so much more to them, so much that we won’t even grasp until we’re transformed in heaven.

“Is Theology Poetry?” answers the question “Does Christian theology owe its attraction to its power of arousing and satisfying our imaginations? Are those who believe it mistaking aesthetic enjoyment for intellectual assent, or assenting because they enjoy?” While Lewis concedes that Christianity has some poetical or metaphorical aspects to it (indeed, one can hardly describe spiritual truths without some kind of metaphor), the metaphor is not to be mistaken for the reality. He also discusses that Christianity can make room for science and reason and makes some pretty good points against evolution.

“The Inner Ring” is about what we would call the inner circle in our day and the fact that nearly every group has one. It may not be bad in itself, but “our longing to enter them, our anguish when we are excluded, and the kind of pleasure we feel when we get in” (p. 149) can  lead us into temptation. If you’ve read That Hideous Strength, the third in Lewsis’s space trilogy, this was exactly what drew Mark Studdock further and further into an evil organization, which he didn’t recognize as such because he was so blinded by his ambition to be included.

“Membership” deals with the idea that though we need solitude sometimes, we are created as part of the body of Christ. Religion seems to be “relegated to solitude,” or made a private affair, by a society which then keeps one so busy that there is little time for solitude, and the busy-ness of “the collective” takes the place of true spiritual friendship. As one who likes time alone, this sentence convicted me: “The sacrifice of selfish privacy which is daily demanded of us is daily repaid a hundredfold in the true growth of personality which the life of the Body encourages” (p. 167). He is not saying at all that one should never have privacy or solitude, nor is he saying that we lose our identity when we become a member of the Body of Christ, but rather that is where we find our true identity. The following paragraph stood out to me:

“The infinite value of each human soul is not a Christian doctrine. God did not die for man because of some value He perceived in him. The value of each human soul considered in itself, out of relation to God, is zero. As St. Paul writes, to have died for valuable men would have been not divine but merely heroic; but God died for sinners. He loved us not because we were lovable, but because He is love” (p. 170).

“On Forgiveness” begins with Lewis wondering why believing in the forgiveness of sins was put in the Creed of his church, when it seemed that would be obvious and go without saying or without need of reminder. But he discovered that believing in forgiveness is not so easy to do and does need frequent reminding. Too often when we come to God for forgiveness, what we really want is for Him to excuse us.

Forgiveness says, ‘Yes, you have done this thing, but I accept your apology; I will never hold it against you and everything between us two will be exactly as it was before.’ But excusing says ‘I see that you couldn’t help it or didn’t mean it; you weren’t really to blame.’ If one was not really to blame then there is nothing to forgive (pp. 178-179).

Too often we “go away imagining that we have repented and been forgiven when all that has really happened is that we have satisfied ourselves with our own excuses” (pp. 179-180).

And he reminds us that the same forgiveness we seek from God, He commands us to show to others. It is in this essay that his famous line comes from: “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you” (p. 182).

On “A Slip of the Tongue,” Lewis shares that one day in his prayers he inadvertently mixed up the “temporal” and the “eternal.” Though it was just a slip of the tongue, he did realize that too often that is exactly what we do.

“I mean this sort of thing. I say my prayers, I read a book of devotion, I prepare for, or receive, the Sacrament. But while I do these things, there is, so to speak, a voice inside me that urges caution. It tells me to be careful, to keep my head, not to go too far, not to burn my boats. I come into the presence of God with a great fear lest anything should happen to me within that presence which will prove too intolerably inconvenient when I have come out again into my ‘ordinary’ life. I don’t want to be carried away into any resolution which I shall afterwards regret. For I know I shall be feeling quite different after breakfast; I don’t want anything to happen to me at the altar which will run up too big a bill to pay then…The root principle of all these precautions is the same: to guard the things temporal.”

“This is my endlessly recurrent temptation: to go down to that Sea (I think St. John of the Cross called God a sea) and there neither dive nor swim nor float, but only dabble and splash, careful not to get out of my depth and holding on to the lifeline which connects me with my things temporal” (p. 187).

“Our temptation is too look eagerly for the minimum that will be accepted. We are in fact very like honest but reluctant taxpayers” (p. 188).

“For it is not so much of our time and so much of our attention that God demands; it is not even all our time and all our attention; it is ourselves. For each of us the Baptist’s words are true: ‘He must increase and I decrease.’ He will be infinitely merciful to our repeated failures; I know no promise that He will accept a deliberate compromise. For He has, in the last resort, nothing to give us but Himself; and He can give that only insofar as our self-affirming will retires and makes room for Him in our souls. Let us make up our minds to it; there will be nothing ‘of our own’ left over to live on, no ‘ordinary’ life” (p. 189).

“What cannot be admitted—what must exist only as an undefeated but daily resisted enemy—is the idea of something that is ‘our own,’ some area in which we are to be “out of school,” on which God has no claim. For He claims all, because He is love and must bless. He cannot bless us unless He has us. When we try to keep within us an area that is our own, we try to keep an area of death. Therefore, in love, He claims all. There’s no bargaining with Him” (p. 190).

This is so convicting to me, because that is precisely my tendency, to keep some area of my will for my own, to fear what He might ask. Even after, as Lewis said, “daily or hourly repeated exercises of my own will in renouncing this attitude…it grows all over me like a new shell each night” (p. 192). Thankfully “failures will be forgiven; it is acquiescence that is fatal…We may never, this side of death, drive the invader out of our territory, but we must be in the Resistance” (p. 192).

One of the things I appreciate most about Lewis is that he “could…swiftly cut through anything that even approached fuzzy thinking,” as Sheldon Vanauken wrote. Plus he so often hits the nail right on the head: in the last essay I had the feeling my innermost thoughts had been found out. I came across a blog post a few weeks ago where the blogger, whose views I would probably generally agree with, mentioned several areas where he differed with Lewis. So far I haven’t found the differences he mentioned. The only one that stood out to me in this book was that he would take some parts of the Bible as symbolic that I would take to be literal. But I think if we are regularly feasting on and meditating on God’s Word, we can read with discernment authors with whom we might not agree on every little point. Lewis has a way of writing that delineates the truth clearly and precisely (even though his intellect is so far above my own) in a manner that is easy to understand. And I can’t think of any writer whose work make me long for heaven more. This book will definitely be reread at intervals through the years, especially the first and last essays.

(This will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)