What I’ve Learned About Ministry

Posted on April 19, 2026 by Barbara Harper

I didn’t attend church regularly until I was about sixteen. When I started participating in various church ministries in the next several years, I didn’t realize I had some mistaken expectations about how church ministry should go.

By “ministry,” I don’t mean just “full-time” ministry: pastor, missionary, evangelist, etc. Many are called to those positions. But every Christian is called to minister to others in some way. God has gifted each of us with spiritual gifts and talents to use in serving Him and each other.

Though I’m mainly talking about ministries within the church, there are also plenty of ways we can minister to one another outside of official church groups.

Here are some things I’ve learned in nearly fifty years of ministry in and out of church.

Try different things. As a young person, I had no idea what my gifts and abilities were. I was asked to work in the nursery and participate in children’s ministries, eventually teaching Sunday School and children’s church. I learned to do those things–but I didn’t enjoy them. Then one year, our Awana secretary asked me to be her assistant–keeping score in games, tallying points for team events, ordering supplies, getting the awards ready for the close of each night. I felt like I’d come home, like I had finally found my niche. As we pray and try different things, we’ll get a sense of where our gifts are. Feedback from others will help confirm where they see God working in your life.

Some things will go wrong. I used to think anything done for the Lord should go smoothly. I was mystified when it didn’t. Sometimes the devil actively attacks. However, often our troubles stem from living in a fallen world. Equipment will break down, weather won’t cooperate, etc.

We won’t always agree. I used to think that any group of people who loved the Lord and wanted to serve Him would be able to work together in perfect harmony. Experience shows otherwise, but I should have noticed that even people in the Bible didn’t always agree on what or how things should be done. Sometimes differences occur because we’re all sinners. Other times, our different backgrounds and experiences will form our views. It’s good to hear each other out. Sometimes different ideas will shine a light on an area we hadn’t thought about. We shouldn’t be overprotective about our proposals and methods, but hear each other out. Even when we need to stand firm about how something needs to be done, we can be gracious towards others’ opinions.

People will let you down. Once I was to meet another lady at church to put up a bulletin board together. I had a nursing baby at home who wanted to be fed every two to three hours and who would not take a bottle. But I felt I could get back home in time if my coworker and I got as much done ahead of time as possible–all the letters cut out, etc. When we arrived at the church, she did not have all of her pieces ready. I was so frustrated.

When we work with others, we’ll see they have feet of clay–and they’ll see the same about us. Someone will forget their turn in the nursery, not show up when needed, not complete the job they agreed to do. None of us is perfect. We’re all sinners. That’s one reason all those verses about forgiving one another and forbearing with one another are there in the Bible. We might need to have a discussion with them. We shouldn’t hold grudges or gossip about each other’s failures, but rather forgive and do our best to smooth things over.

People will surprise you. One time I asked someone who looked to me like she had plenty of time to help with a committee, but she said no. Then another lady that I would not have asked because she was so busy volunteered. We don’t know everything going on in another’s life, so we shouldn’t make assumptions about whether they are able to help. We need to pray before seeking coworkers and trust God to lead us to the right people.

Then there are dear people who just happen to be around and pitch in when needed–cleaning up after an event, going for needed supplies, stepping in the nursery when someone is home sick or has forgotten their turn, sharing a word of encouragement , etc.

I won’t always feel joyful in ministry. There are times we feel defeated, discouraged, overwhelmed, and wish we hadn’t agreed to help. There are even times I’ve locked myself in the bathroom, crying, before an event where I had a big responsibility. It helped me to realize that I feel that way in other areas of life as well. A lack of joy may indicate a heart problem, or it may mean it’s time for a change. But usually it just means we’re human. We remind ourselves we’re doing what we’re doing as unto the Lord. And I’ve often found that the joy does not often come before a task, but sometimes during and usually after it’s over.

I shouldn’t say no unless I pray about it. This was drilled into us by the head of our ladies group in the church my husband and I were in when we first married. I was asked to be on the committee that did monthly bulletin boards featuring a missionary each month. Bulletin boards had been the bane of my existence in college, where students had to do bulletin boards for various classes. But as I prayed, I didn’t feel I should say no. The next year, I was asked to head that committee for the following year. I didn’t look forward to it. But all that I had learned in school and on the committee the previous year finally came together, and God gave me some wonderful ideas for boards.

There are times to say no. In my early Christian life, I thought I should do anything anyone asked me to do. I quickly got overwhelmed. After we pray about it, we should feel no guilt saying no if we feel that’s God’s answer. If He doesn’t want us in a certain position, He has someone else in mind. In fact, one time when I did have to say no, the person who said yes did a much better job than I could have. I realized that saying no sometimes makes way for another to step into that place.

There are times a ministry has to shut down. When we lived in GA, we had a wonderful, active homeschool support group. One mom started it simply, but then it grew to hundreds of people. When the coordinator was pregnant with her seventh child, she just could not handle the group any more. We did without the group for about a year. But then one woman volunteered to do the newsletter. Another agreed to coordinate the monthly meetings. One by one, the various aspects of the group were taken on by others. It took that year of being without the group to make everyone realize how much they wanted it and to be willing to structure it differently.

On the other hand, sometimes a particular ministry lasts for a time and then gives way to something new as the times or the needs of the group change.

I won’t always feel sufficient. Like Moses when God called him to lead the people of Israel, I often feel insufficient for a job before I start. But even when I do something that I feel God has equipped me for, at some point I often feel overwhelmed. That’s a good place to be, though, because we learn by experience that His strength is made perfect in our weakness.

Ministry will stretch us. If we never venture out of our comfort zones, we’ll never grow. It’s scary, but God will meet us in our need.

Keep first things first. Like Martha, we can be “cumbered about much serving” and forget the one needful thing: fellowshipping with our Savior and getting to know Him better. Serving is no substitute for growing in love for Him and His people.

There’s nothing like seeing God provide strength and ideas and even tiny details that make us marvel at His attention and love and care.

There is nothing like being used of God. That’s what ministry comes down to: allowing God to work through us in others’ lives. When someone lets us know that they were blessed, encouraged, instructed, or helped by some small thing we said or did, and we know it was only because of God’s grace, our own hearts rejoice and are encouraged.

The Bible tells us, “If anyone speaks, let it be as one who speaks God’s words; if anyone serves, let it be from the strength God provides, so that God may be glorified through Jesus Christ in everything. To him be the glory and the power forever and ever. Amen” (1 Peter 4:11, CSB). That’s our ultimate purpose in all we do: to glorify God with the strength He provides.

There is much more that can be said about ministry: there are whole books written on the subject. But I hope some of these thoughts help encourage you in your ministry for the Lord.

What have you learned about ministry along the way?

Revised from the archives.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Giving and Receiving God’s Word

Posted on June 6, 2021 by Barbara Harper

I was surprised recently to read of someone offering their support and sympathy but promising not to share Bible verses.

My first thought was, “Isn’t the Bible our main source of comfort?” Human comfort helps, but it only goes so far.

I think I know what the person meant, though. Sometimes it’s easy to pat someone on the back, quote Romans 8:28, and go on our merry way. That’s like the spiritual version of what James says about physical needs: “If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace, be warmed and filled,’ without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?” (James 2:15-16). We’re instructed to be quick to hear and slow to speak, to weep with those who weep, to suffer with others in the body of Christ who suffer. We’re to “Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body” (Hebrews 13:3). We need to enter in to someone else’s pain rather than just offer them a bandage.

We also need to discern whether others are ready to hear. God had Elijah eat and sleep before talking with him. Nathan told David a story before confronting him with his gross sin. Jesus once told the disciples, “I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now.”

Once one of my coworkers suffered a miscarriage. This young woman was not a Christian. She told our manager that she didn’t want anyone to say anything about her situation when she returned to work. But one of the other ladies, a Christian, made it a point to speak to her about her miscarriage on her first day back. I don’t know what was said or how it was received. But it seemed unwise not to give this woman the time she asked for.

Someone has said that Job’s friends did more for him when they sat in silence than when they began to advise him. Sometimes a sorrow is so deep or so new, we should just express sympathy and share our presence and support. Pat answers and cliches don’t help.

Sometimes, too, when the person we want to comfort is a mature Christian, we can’t tell them anything they don’t already know. They know how to seek the Scriptures and lay their hearts bare before the Lord. That doesn’t mean we should never say anything comforting to them from the Word, but we just need to be led by the Spirit and not by our need to “say something” or “fix” the situation.

We need wisdom, grace, discernment, and the Holy Spirit’s leading when we share God’s Word with people. Job’s friends were sure that Job was suffering because he sinned. Since God said Job had not sinned, all his friends’ counsel was misapplied. In fact, Job called them miserable comforters.

But I have known what is it, as I am sure you have, to have someone share “a word spoken in due season.” When my mother passed away, someone shared in a card the verse that shaped my prayers for that time: “Let, I pray thee, thy merciful kindness be for my comfort, according to thy word unto thy servant” (Psalm 119:76, KJV). Often someone has shared a verse or sometimes just a thought or principle from the Bible at just the right time for whatever I was dealing with at the moment. That’s the kind of comforter and encourager I want to be. That can only come from walking closely with the Lord and spending time in God’s Word so the Holy Spirit can bring to mind what He wants us to share.

On the other side of this coin, though, as one receiving comfort or instruction, aren’t there times we just don’t want to hear it? Sometimes that’s because it’s coming from someone who hasn’t taken the time to really listen and enter in to the situation. But sometimes it’s due to other causes.

Sometimes we don’t want to hear because of our flesh. When you’re reaching for your third donut, you don’t want to hear about self-control. When you want to lash out at someone, you don’t want to hear verses about forbearing and forgiving. I’ve often prayed that God would help me look for the way to escape tem ptation that He promised rather than looking for an excuse to indulge.

Sometimes we don’t want to give up our pain because we want the person who caused it to suffer. Sometimes we might even be mad at God for what He allowed.

Sometimes we might not want to hear truth because we’re feeling a little dull or distracted spiritually.

The times when we least want to hear God’s Word are the times we most need it. A verse I like to pray in those times is Psalm 119:36: “Incline my heart to your testimonies.”

The Holy Spirit uses the Word of God to revive us.

Jesus said, “It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life” (John 6:63).
“This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life” (Psalm 119:50).
“I will never forget your precepts, for by them you have given me life.” (Psalm 119:93).

We’re still responsible for the truth we hear and read, even if the person sharing it isn’t doing so in the best way or time. Sometimes we just have to extend grace and ask God to minister to our hearts.

May God give us eager “ears to hear” His Word and make us gracious and sensitive encouragers.

. (I often link up with some of these bloggers)

Laudable Linkage

Posted on April 4, 2020 by Barbara Harper

I used to share good reads found online only a couple of times a month. But I’ve found enough lately to post them every week. Here are the latest:

Easter Week in Real Time, HT to True Woman. A synthesis of the gospel accounts of what happened the week of the crucifixion and resurrection.

Locked Down Alone. Words of advice from those in other countries who went into lockdown due to the virus, especially for those who live alone.

Confined to Quarters. Written two years ago, but timely now. “Most of us in our lives will experience a season of confinement. But God has His way. Confinement may liberate us for service that we otherwise would not do. Or God may place us strategically where a Christian testimony is most needed. Confinement may also simply be God’s way of sanctifying us and weaning us from this world to look with greater longing for our heavenly home.”

Weapons for Fearful Times. “God didn’t leave us without options, weapons if you will. Instead of a fearful spirit, what did he give us?”

Loose Lips Sink Families. “For both men and women, our words have tremendous power. They can motivate others to live more like Christ or be exactly the push they need to make choices that are less than God-honoring.”

Sorting Through Our COVID Anxieties, HT to Challies. “Replace ‘what if’ with ‘even if’ and identify the relevant attributes of God that would be relevant. For example, instead of thinking, ‘What if I lose my job’ replace that with, ‘Even if I lose my job God will still be faithful and has given me a church family to walk through those times.'”

Helping Children with Scary News, HT to Story Warren.

Remember the Grandladies. I loved this!

I Love You from Over Here, HT to Challies. “Maybe instead of just saying ‘we miss you’ we can say to our friends ‘I love you from over here.'” Good suggestions of ways to show love from afar.

I know some of you are fond of castles. Since it would be too expensive to reconstruct the damaged ones, someone has Digitally Reconstructed Medieval Castles to show what they’d look like. HT to Challies.

Perhaps, like me, you are old enough to remember Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean’s beauitful ice dancing routine to Ravel’s Bolero, for which they won a gold medal and broke records in the 1984 Olympics. Or perhaps you’ve seen the video since then. Someone organized a mass reenactment with people from many occupations, ethnicities, shapes, and ages. It’s pretty cool to watch. HT to The Story Warren.

Sing the Psalms. Like This. This paraphrase of Psalm 46 from Joe Tyrpak and Church Works Media is beautiful, timely, and encouraging. They’re offering it as a free download here.

“Just Wait: It Gets Harder”

Posted on October 7, 2019 by Barbara Harper

A young mom friend shared that she gets the above response whenever she mentions that life can be hard with several little children at once.

Why do we women do that to each other?

I’m so thankful that when I was a young mom, a special older lady told me that each stage of our children’s lives has it’s high and low points, and we shouldn’t dread any stage. I think at the time my oldest was about to turn two, thus I was cringing at the thought of the “terrible twos.” Her words helped me not to view that season of life negatively, and the “twos” were not all that terrible.

Though baby- and toddlerhood hold some cute, sweet, fun, and incredibly precious moments, small people depending on you for every little thing can be exhausting. I loved my babies and little ones, but this stage of life was hardest for me. When they can feed themselves, go to the bathroom by themselves, dress themselves, etc., life gets a lot easier.

Perhaps for some moms, what I call the “taxi years” are the most taxing, when you’re chauffeuring kids to sports practice, music lessons, church activities, birthday parties, school activities, etc., etc. That season does have its challenges. We tried hard to strike the right balance by offering our kids a number of opportunities without the whole household revolving around children’s schedules. It’s not easy. But one perk was that one of our children opened up much more in the car than if I tried to draw him out across the table.

Probably most who warn about harder years of parenting are referring to the teen years. Once, when my children were still young, an older mom and I were working on a bulletin board together at church. As she shared something about her teenage daughter, she said something like, “Don’t dread the teen years. If you keep the relationship good, keep communication open, and train them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, the teen years don’t have to be a trial for either of you.” And she was right, just like my mom friend who told me not to dread the “terrible twos.” The world has bought into this idea that rebellion is a teenage rite of passage, but it doesn’t have to be. They do ask hard questions, but we should welcome them and help them seek answers. They should be coming to a point where their beliefs are becoming their own rather than just rotely following what they’ve always been told. There might be a few bumps in the road towards independence, but it doesn’t have to be an all-out war.

And then we come to parenting adults. In some ways, it’s a relief that all their decisions are their own responsibility now. Yet we have to let them make their own mistakes. We only offer advice when asked, and then carefully. We have to let go, but we can pray.

Each stage of development is a necessary part of growing up. Each has its hardships and its blessings. We need to encourage each other all along the way.

Imagine you’re hiking up a mountain trail. The way is rough, you’re hot, and you’ve still got a long way to go. Way up ahead you see another hiker. You call out to her and ask how the trail is between you. She says, “You think it’s bad now; you think you’re tired now; just wait. It only gets harder the further you go.”

How encouraged would you be? Not at all.

How much better if those ahead on the path called back, “Yes, it’s tough. But God gives grace. You can do it. Keep up the good work!” Or, even better, we can share how we found verses like 2 Corinthians 9:8 true in relation to motherhood: “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.”

Motherhood has been one of the hardest aspects of my life. Not much else (besides caregiving) showed me how selfish I was and how much I needed God’s grace. But watching and learning from other moms was a great encouragement.

Much has been said in recent years about mentoring, but we don’t need to set up formal mentoring relationships in order to encourage others. So often, I’ve received the most encouragement from off-the-cuff, seemingly random conversations in passing. But looking back, I know they weren’t random. I know God placed those people in my path for my encouragement.

I’ve shared before this poem from an unknown author that was quoted in Rosalind Goforth‘s autobiography, Climbing (one of my favorites). I had always thought of it in relation to life in general, Christian life in particular. I had mostly thought of it in relation to missionary and other Christian biographies. Even though it’s not specifically about motherhood, much of it can apply. We don’t need to demean or “one-up” others. Older moms, let’s call back encouragement to younger moms. Older women, let’s support younger women whether they are mothers or not, married or not.

Call Back!

If you have gone a little way ahead of me, call back-
It will cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track;
And if, perchance, Faith’s light is dim, because the oil is low,
Your call will guide my lagging course as wearily I go.

Call back, and tell me that He went with you into the storm;
Call back, and say He kept you when forest’s roots were torn;
That when the heavens thunder and the earthquake shook the hill.
He bore you up and held where the very air was still.

O friend, call back, and tell me, for I cannot see your face;
They say it glows with triumph, and your feet bound in the race;
But there are mists between us and my spirit eyes are dim,
And I cannot see the glory, though I long for word of Him.

But if you’ll say He heard you when your prayer was but a cry,
And if you’ll say He saw you through the night’s sin-darkened sky-
If you have gone a little way ahead, O friend, call back-
It will cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track.

Has someone “called back” in a way that encouraged you? I’ve love to hear about it in the comments.

(I’ve read several posts about encouragement this week. This must be a
message God wants emphasized at this particular time.
I love how Kelly expanded this truth to all scenarios here.)

(Sharing with Inspire Me Monday, Global Blogging, Literary Musing Monday,
Hearth and Home, Purposeful Faith, Tea and Word, Tell His Story,
Happy Now, InstaEncouragement, Anchored Abode,
Let’s Have Coffee, Recharge Wednesday, Share a Link Wednesday,
Wise Woman, Worth Beyond Rubies, HeartEncouragement,
Grace and Truth, Faith ‘n Friends)