Mom

Posted on December 10, 2008 by Barbara Harper

It was three years ago today, right about this time of day, when I got the news that my mom had passed away. I wrote about that day more here, and there’s nothing new to add, really. It hasn’t been a hard day — more wistful than sad. There are still times I miss her intensely.

We got a Christmas card today from a former neighbor whose husband passed away this year, and she included this poem about spending Christmas with Jesus this year. It’s not a literary masterpiece on par with Christina Rossetti or Emily Dickinson — but the thought was a blessing today. So often when I have wished I could pick up the phone and call Mom or do something with her, the thought of what she’s experiencing in heaven makes me realize that any earthly experience would pale in comparison. Elisabeth Elliot once wrote that God doesn’t tell us much about heaven because we’d be so distracted by what’s to come that we couldn’t get anything done here — like if you told your children you were taking them to Disneyworld next year. You’d have to answer a million questions a day about it. That may well be true.

Christmas Spirit award and tag

Posted on December 10, 2008 by Barbara Harper

chirstmasaward Jewel at Down in My Little Valley gave me a Christmas Spirit Award with the following tag:

“The rules are to tag someone with this award that I know loves Christmas, and has Christmas spirit. They must link back to my blog to indicate where they were tagged, and they need to add 1 to 45 reasons why they love Christmas.”

1. I love Christmas first of all because it’s the time we celebrate the birth of our Savior: “For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace” (Isaiah 9:6).

2. Christmas music.

3. Christmas lights. OK, some can be a little on the gaudy side. But I love that so many people put lights outside their houses as well as in, and I love lights on the tree.

4. The Christmas tree. In itself it may seem a little strange to bring a tree inside and hang decorations on it…but I love it.

5. Christmas ornaments, little miniature decorations, often with a story of how it came to be, who gave it to whom, etc.

6. Christmas cards, the opportunity to send and receive greetings with friends and loved ones.

7. Christmas newsletters. Yes, I love them! I enjoy catching up with what’s been going on with people.

8. Christmas events. Though it does tend to make the calendar more full than usual, I love attending our kids’ plays, our Sunday School Christmas party, events in town, etc.

9. Christmas foods.

10. Time off. The kids are off from school, and my husband often takes a few vacation days.

11. Calling loved ones on Christmas Day.

12. Giving gifts.

If you love Christmas consider yourself tagged!

I’ve been tagged with a couple of other memes and was originally going to do them all together…but I think this one needs to stand alone. So I’ll do the others later on. This may be meme week as Real Life is incredibly busy!

Christmasy at last!

Posted on December 8, 2008 by Barbara Harper

No “Blue Monday” today. It wouldn’t take too long to put a post up for it, but I feel the point of those interactive memes is to interact, LOL! I have a whole list of things to get done today, so since I don’t have time to visit around for that, I’ll refrain this week. I’ve been by to see some of my regulars already and will see the rest later on.

We finally got our Christmas tree up this weekend. I say finally — it’s not terribly far into December yet. But when we had originally planned to do it earlier, it seems like we’re running late. We like to do it all together, so as long as we have family nearby to do it, we’ll arrange our time to do it together. It just gets so much harder as kids get older and have college classes and work obligations. So because of that we went to get the tree on Sunday, something we don’t normally do.

We have Grandma with us on Sundays through church and dinner and brought clothes for her to change into to go get the tree. She did that but then wanted to go home before we decorated it. I think she was just wearing out, plus she said even when her kids were small she never did much with decorating — her husband and kids put all the ornaments on the tree. I think if she had stayed she would have enjoyed watching the antics of the kids — it’s always a riot as they put the ornaments on. We always do some odd things — maybe it comes of having older boys. There is a hook in the ceiling that the previous owners had either a lamp or a hanging plant on that we’ve never removed. One year one of the boys put a snowflake ornament there. The next year I kept saying, “No, don’t put that there,” so now it has become sort of a family joke to get the snowflake up there before I tell them not to. We have weird traditions, I know, LOL! But to me that’s the best kind — the kind that just arise from the moment. Then we have this one angel that my husband and I bought our first Christmas together that came apart a few years ago, and I keep forgetting to either fix it or get rid of it (do other people do this? When we get ornaments out I find ones that need a little repair work and think I’ll get to it some time. Then when we put ornaments away in January I think I’ll get it next year. So they stay in the box unused — unless my kids get to them and find unique ways to use them. My oldest called them “the island of misfit ornaments.”) So one year they hung the head separately from the body. There are one or two ornaments that they do something “different” with every year. It sounds weird, I know, and it is. But it’s one of those things unique to our family.

At one point while we were driving home with the tree on top of the van, Jesse and Jason kept saying it was sliding. They had been talking about seeing the shadow of it while we were driving, so I thought they meant it looked like it was scooting backwards. Just as we were slowing down to turn into a parking lot to see what was going on, it slid off the side and was just hanging by the twine tied to the luggage rack on the roof. We could just imagine what people in other cars thought — a new way to transport your Christmas tree! The two older guys had cameras but didn’t think to take a picture. I would have loved to post a picture of the tree hanging down the side of the car with just the title “Ooops!”

So now the tree is up and the house is decorated and I feel all Christmasy. I love the pine smell in the living room and the way the lights look when the rest of the room is dark.

Last week was supposed to be my week to get lots done while this week has a lot of events to go to, but everything didn’t get done last week that I had planned — one task took longer than planned plus I didn’t use my time to the best advnatge earlier in the week. So…I’d best get to it. I had planned to do a couple of memes I’ve been tagged for, but I’ve chattered on so much I’ll need to save those for another day.

Happy Monday!

Deep Waters

Posted on December 7, 2008 by Barbara Harper

I mentioned a few weeks back that George and Gerry Stouffer were at our church’s missions conference, and for a couple of the meetings some of their sons came to sing with them. I was so blessed by the music — wonderfully done, beautiful harmonies, but most of all a heart of service and blessing underneath it all. I bought their CDs and have been thoroughly enjoying them.

This particular song has been speaking to my heart in a special way. I think I have heard it before. It’s based on Luke 5:1-11. I don’t think I would ever have made that application from the passage — that if you obey the Lord’s sending you out into the “deep waters” of life, He’ll bless you in ways you never expected, but that certainly is true.

Their fishing nets were empty when they first saw the Lord.
All night they had been fishing in the waters by the shore.
The Lord said “Go to deep waters, cast your nets once more.”
And because they obeyed, they would never be the same.

Go to deep waters, deep waters, where only faith will let you go.
Go out to deep waters, deep waters, harvests of faith will overflow.

They cast their nets and almost before they could begin
Their nets were overflowing and they had to pull them in.
And though this was their greatest catch their fishing days would end.
For they abandoned all when they heard the master’s call.

Go to deep waters, deep waters, where only faith will let you go.
Go out to deep waters, deep waters, harvests of faith will overflow.
Go.

~ Pepper Choplin

You can hear a 90-second clip of it here. (Updated 9/3/18: Some of the links I had here were no longer active, so I deleted them. I did find a different group, Project 10 Men, singing it on YouTube here).

jesus07

(Source of painting unknown. I saw it in two places with no comment as to it’s name or the name of the painter. If you know either, please let me know.)

Friday’s Fave Five

Posted on December 5, 2008 by Barbara Harper

Susanne at Living to Tell the Story hosts a “Friday Fave Five” in which we share our five favorite things from the past week. Click on the button to read more of the details.

1. My thermostat. We forget what a luxury it is to be able to heat our homes with the push of a button. I’ve been sp grateful for that this week!

2. My nice warm winter coat. It really came in handy this week for…

3. “Dickens of a Christmas.” An annual holiday event where Main Street downtown is blocked from traffic, there are store window displays of people acting out scenes from Dickens’ era (including one ballet group who performs “The Nutcracker” every year) — not from his books necessarily, but just from those times. There are different groups who sing or play instruments, anyone who wants to can dress in in period attire. Then there is a carol sing and lighting of the downtown Christmas tree. There’s a food court and one group who gives out free apple cider. It’s just a fun time to get out and about and even run into people you know. Here are a few scenes as recorded by my oldest son.

A choir:

A dance group:

This is my favorite musical group. I wish we had recorded them. Good, fun music, and they were just off the main sidewalk where everyone could still see and hear them, but there was room to gather around.

Christmas lights downtown:

4. Goodies. I had ordered some things from Hydrangea Home through the weekly Pink Friday sales event from the Make Mine Pink shops (which I could list an another favorite thing. They have a theme every Friday for kind of an online sidewalk sale — kitchen things, tea things, beach things, etc. This week it’s “last minute Christmas gifts.”), and they came in this week.

I am borrowing her pictures since I haven’t had a chance to take any, and hers are so much better than mine would be anyway, but I don’t think she’ll mind since I am linking back to her. 🙂 Everything was packaged so beautifully. and she added in a free ornament and some pretty notecards.

5. Krispy Kreme donuts, especially when the “Hot Donuts Now” sign is one. We went there after the Dickens event.

Krispy Kreme

6. If I could add a sixth “bonus” one, it would be the encouragement of friends. Thanks to those who commented on yesterday’s post. That first incident mentioned happened at church — where you’d expect people to smile and greet everyone. I do agree with what everyone said about shyness. I so want to write a post about that — I used to be painfully shy, so much that I would panic if someone spoke to me in a group. The Lord has helped me with that a lot. It’s still my default setting, but by His grace I can extend myself. But that will have to wait probably til early next week — I have a deadline today for another responsibility. I’ll be around to visit later on!

Happy Friday!

Frustrations and forbearance

Posted on December 4, 2008 by Barbara Harper

You know how it is when you’re going to pass someone you know on the sidewalk. You look away, you look around, you look at the person to see if they’re looking your way, and when at some point your eyes meet, you smile and say hello (or am I the only one who does that? It seems most people do the same thing from my observation.) Last night I was about to pass a man I know on the sidewalk, all ready to say a friendly hello, and he walked right by me staring straight ahead. This happens every time we happen to pass each other. The only time he ever looks at me or speaks to me is when he has to, on business with the groups we’re both involved in, and he seems friendly enough then. I have heard he is really shy, but I’ve often wondered if he actively dislikes me for some reason. I don’t mind not being close personal friends with everyone I know — that’s just not possible for any of us — but if someone seems to dislike you, you can’t help but wonder why and feel bad about it. And in a situation where it feels like you’ve been snubbed, it does hurt a little, even if you tell yourself the other person is shy, maybe didn’t see you, certainly didn’t mean anything by it, etc.

A woman I know seems to dwell under an emotional dark cloud all the time. Almost every situation and many an innocent remark is turned to mean something negative against herself. Almost every event she’s involved with at some point will have some kind of drama and crisis and hurt feelings. She doesn’t practice Proverbs 18:24a (“A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly”) yet feels that no one is friendly to her.

A man takes a strong and good stand on the side of righteousness, yet even little points where there is room for differences are treated like hills to die on, and any difference from his own view on anything is treated with disdain and condescension. After just reading this morning from Ephesians 4:1-3 (“I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called, With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”) I saw an incident between him and another totally lacking in humility, longuffering, forbearance, or grace.

These are all people I’ve known for years (none of them reads my blog, yet I’ve been purposefully vague “just in case”) and with whom a “situation” has arisen within just the last 24 hours, leaving me feeling down and frustrated. The last two did not affect me directly this time, yet seeing the same reactions yet again have stirred up the frustrations of my whole history with them.

The common thread with each situation is that there is nothing I can do about it, except in the first situation I can extend myself and be friendly even if it is not reciprocated. I’m not a confrontational person, even when I should be, but a part of me wants to take each one by the shoulders and say, “Do you realize how you’re coming across?!” I don’t think it is my place to correct the men (the last one does not receive correction from anyone anyway), and the woman would only feel persecuted and misunderstood (I used to think she just needed someone to listen to her and sympathize with her, but that doesn’t work).

I can pray, of course. Not the complaining type of prayer (“Lord, would you please speak to so-and-so about this…”). But the type of prayer Paul prayed in Ephesians 3:

14 For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,

15 Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,

16 That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man;

17 That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,

18 May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;

19 And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.

20 Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,

21 Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.

The goal isn’t for so-and-so to get whatever problem they have fixed (so that it doesn’t rub me the wrong way any more — an entirely self-centered focus), but rather that “we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ” (Ephesians 4:13).

I can exercise forbearance in love as mentioned earlier in Ephesians 4:2. One former pastor used to call forbearance “just good old-fashioned putting up with one another.” And we’re not just to “grin and bear it”: we’re to forbear one another in love. We’re all going to have our faults and failings until we get to heaven and if we don’t know how to interact with love and forbearance and grace, we’re all going to be pretty miserable…not to mention a poor testimony to others. We’re commanded to love others as Christ loved us, and He loved us “while we were yet sinners.”

And I can remember, work on, and pray over my own faults. I have plenty to deal with without worrying about anyone else’s. There’s probably something I do or don’t do that sets someone else to stewing sometimes.

I am sorely tempted to delete this, now that I’ve gotten it out of my system. But I think I’ll leave it, for now at least. All is not always rosy here in the land of Stray Thoughts, and I want to “keep it real,” as they say. And we all have to deal with this type of thing, so maybe my reasoning with myself here will be a help to someone else.

WFMW: Geeky Gifts For Guys

Posted on December 3, 2008 by Barbara Harper

I have a husband and three sons. They’re not sports fans or hunters or golfers, but they do like technology and gadgets. For anything really technical I need to get the exact name, product code, etc., but these are some “other” gifts they’ve enjoyed receiving over the years.

1. USB Rocket Launcher plugs into the USB port of your computer. My husband has one on his desk at work that coworkers like to launch.

2. USB Doomsday Device Hub

It has a series of buttons and levers, and people just can’t resist pushing and flipping them to see what will happen, despite the dire warnings. Of course, Jeremy and Jesse wanted to try it out.

3. USB Beverage Cooler

When you don’t want to walk all the way to the kitchen for a cold drink. It holds one drink can.

4. Duct Tape wallet. Because guys can make ANYTHING out of duct tape.

5. Digital Temperature Fork. This is handy if your guy grills: a fork with a meat thermometer built in. Ours came with a set of grilling utensils. We got this from a department store (J. C. Penney’s, I think) one Father’s Day, but I ran a search for it and found several sources online.

6. Digital Bank

Ours, which we found in the men’s department at a store in the mall, is much plainer than this version from SlashGear, but there are several online. It keeps count of the total of the coins as you drop them in. I don’t know how you adjust it if you remove any — maybe that’s motivation not to!

7. Anything from Scottevest, a line of clothing designed to accommodate the wires and cords from electronic devices and all sorts of pockets and compartments. A couple of my guys had their jackets on their “wish list” for years, but they were kind of expensive, so all we ever got was this hat (you can click on the video link there to see where the compartments are).

8. Many of the above items can be found at ThinkGeek, the name of which speaks for itself. Lots of…interesting stuff there. It’s mostly a family-friendly site, but, as with all external links, use caution and discretion.

You can find a plethora of workable tips at Rocks In My Dryer each Wednesday.

Christmas Meme

Posted on December 2, 2008 by Barbara Harper

I received this in an e-mail, and I think I saw it on someone’s blog, but forgot to note where. I added a few questions of my own at the end.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Some of each. For the family it’s mostly wrapped packages unless something is an odd shape. For anyone outside of family it’s often a gift bag.

2. Real tree or Artificial? Real so far, but after getting rained out of getting our Christmas tree when we’d planned to I am thinking more about an artificial one.

3. When do you put up the tree? Usually whenever everyone’s schedules can coincide. We like to get the tree and decorate it together as a family. I like the first Sat. in December. This year we were thinking about the day after Thanksgiving since everyone will was off then, but it rained on the day we were going to get it. This Saturday some of he kids works in the afternoon and others of us have events in the evening. So I don’t know when we’ll get to do it.

4. When do you take the tree down? By New Year’s if not before.

5. Do you like eggnog? I don’t, but Jim and the boys do.

6. Favorite gift received as a child. Barbie dolls, because my nickname was Barbie.

7. Hardest person to buy for? My step-father.

8. Easiest person to buy for? Jesse, my youngest.

9. Do you have a nativity scene? No. The closest I have is this little musical figurine my mom gave me.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mostly snail-mail, but a few e-mail.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received. Chocolate covered cherries (Bleah!)

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? White Christmas

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Some time after Thanksgiving usually, but not Black Friday!! When my mom was alive, we would tuck little things away for each other all through the year. I knew what kinds of things she liked and would buy them as I found them. With my boys now, as they grow their tastes and desires change, plus whatever new game or gadget they want won’t be available until closer to Christmas, so I usually wait. (More on gadget gifts for guys tomorrow!)

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? I think I may have, though I can’t remember any specifics. I know I have given away Christmas presents I received but didn’t want without presenting them as a gift from me.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Harvest loaf Cake

16. Lights on the tree? Of course.

17. Favorite Christmas song? Too many good ones to have one favorite! But “In The Bleak Mid-winter” and “Infant Holy, Infant Lowly” would be at the top of the list. I like the “Carol of the Bells” the first couple of times I hear it.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay at home? Stay home.

19. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer? No

20. Angel on the treetop or a star? Angel but I’d like to replace it with a star.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Morning

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? Crowds in the stores, over-full schedule

23. What theme or color are you using? Usual Christmas colors. We have a wide variety of ornaments and decorations — I never went in for a themed tree — but we do have a lot of snowmen.

24. Favorites for Christmas dinner. Ham, mashed potatoes, pies.

25. What do you want for Christmas this year? I haven’t thought much about it yet.

26. Do you have a favorite ornament, what? I have several favorites — it is fun to see them and recall the stories behind them as we decorate the tree.

27. Favorite Christmas special on TV? Charlie Brown Christmas would be tops, but also The Little Drummer Boy and The Grinch Stole Christmas.

28. Do you give gifts to extended family (adult siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins)? Family gifts or individual ones? Not cousins or aunts or uncles. I like giving to everyone, but it has kind of fallen off over the years. Even when we did it, it wasn’t reciprocated — it just gets too expensive, and not living nearby, we don’t know their tastes any more. But sometimes if we have a really good, inexpensive idea, we’ll go for it, like last year when we ended up with a lot of old family pictures and made a CD of them for everyone plus copied an 8×10 of my mom and step-dad for everyone.

29. Christmas parties? Our Sunday School class has one as does the ladies’ group at church. Only once or twice has my husband’s job had anything that involved spouses.

30. Do you bake Christmas cookies? What kind? We did decorated sugar cookies when the kids were little but haven’t in the last few years. I also make gingerbread teddie bears some years. They’re a lot of work, so I don’t do them every year, but I have been craving them this year. If I make them I’ll show them to you.

31. Special church services? There is always a kid’s play or presentation, an adult choir Christmas cantata, and usually a Christmas Eve service.

32. Christmas events you like to attend? Our town has a “Dickens of a Christmas” evening downtown where there are different groups singing, little plays or ballets in shop windows, etc. There are a couple of places with light displays that we usually drive through. That’s all I can remember we do regularly, but if something else comes up that we’re interested in and have time for, we’ll go.

33. Read the Christmas story on Christmas? Yes, my husband does, usually before we open gifts, usually from Luke 2 but sometimes from other passages.

Let me know if you do this and I’ll come by to see your answers!

(Graphic courtesy of the stock.xchng)

Blue Monday & etc.

Posted on December 1, 2008 by Barbara Harper

We had a bit of drama this morning when Jim’s mom called about 7:30 a.m. saying her hearing aid was broken. He had left already, and I told her to get her old one in the meantime, but she couldn’t find it. I went over, and thankfully figured out that the tube had just come out of the earpiece and was able to easily get it back in. It’s working fine but I am afraid it might happen again when she tales it in and out. Jim said we could probably take it in to get the tube replaced — it’s just probably gotten a little too flexible with use. Then when I went to look for her old hearing aid, I couldn’t find it, either, and almost started to panic. Turns out she had it in — but without a battery. So I replaced the battery in it and showed her where the case was and left a note for the people who work there in case it happens again.

Jesse’s home sick today with a pretty bad cold. I am hoping it doesn’t spread through the family.

Jason and his girlfriend, Mittu, have this one last day before they start back to classes, but they both have papers due, so I expect it will be a pretty quiet day. I had thought about making Christmas cookies today — I have kind of gotten away from that the last few years. But between the work they need to do and Jesse’s cold, it might not be the best time.

I was bummed that Toni and Dallas didn’t make it into the Amazing Race final 3. That was so sad! He’s going to be kicking himself about losing their money and passports for a long time, I’m afraid. The two guys have made so many mistakes I really felt it was their time to go. If they end up winning…I am going to be even more bummed.

The next two weeks are really busy both with stuff to do and things to attend. Sat. night we have out adult Sunday School Christmas party, Sunday is church as usual, Monday is the ladies’ Christmas party, Tuesday is Jesse’s first basketball game, Wed. is prayer meeting as usual, Thursday is Jesse’s piano recital, then Friday is his second BB game. I’m not one who likes to “go and do” that much — I am getting tired just thinking about it! So, since there are so many things to attend next week, I am hoping to get a bunch of stiff done this week. All I really want to do right now is sit here and fiddle around on the computer! But I need to make a master list so I can best use my time this week.

On to Blue Monday:

Smiling Sally hosts a Blue Monday in which we can post about anything blue — pretty, ugly, serious or funny — and then link up to other Blue Monday participants.

This is a Paula Vaughan cross stitch pattern: one of my sisters made it for me several years ago.

I paired it with a quote of Proverbs31:24-26 in calligraphy from Doorposts which I placed in a blue frame and a partially blue mat.

I thought they went well together not only because of the color but because of the reference to clothing in the verse and the dress in the cross stitch — letting our physical clothes remind us of the need to be clothed with strength and honor even in — especially in our homes.