Author Archives: Barbara Harper

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About Barbara Harper

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Spiritual Snobbery

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In a Sunday School lesson a couple of weeks ago, I can’t remember the exact context, but something came up about different ways saved and unsaved people react. One man pointed out that we came up with fairly tame reactions for the saved and fairly awful ones for the unsaved when actually saved people can display awful reactions and even unsaved people can display kindness, love, thoughtfulness, etc. That struck a chord with our teacher, who then spent the next two Sundays teaching about “Spiritual Snobbery.”

It jarred me a bit to think of it as “snobbery,” but that’s exactly what it is when we think we’re “better” in any way than anyone else. That led me to remember a situation when a young woman brought together her extended birth family and adopted family. The adopted family were Christians, the birth family primarily was not. Admittedly the circumstances were a bit awkward for everyone, made more so by two completely different cultures in the same room. But instead of the Christians in the room reaching out to the lost, they pretty much kept to themselves and ignored them, making them feel like outcasts and outsiders. The non-Christians didn’t approach the Christians saying, “Can you tell me how to get what you have?” There was nothing displayed that they’d want to have. Instead, they withdrew and kept to themselves.

By contrast, Jesus went out of His way to minister to the “outsiders” of His day: He took special pains to speak to the woman at the well, He called a tax collector to be one of His disciples, He ate with publicans and sinners, He accepted the love of a fallen woman, the hero of one of his parables was the Good Samaritan when the Samaritans and Israelites were enemies.

Our Sunday School teacher brought up Isaiah 5:21 (“Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight!) and II Corinthians 10:18 (“For not he that commendeth himself is approved, but whom the Lord commendeth”), discussed some of the dangers of “spiritual snobbery” and some of Jesus’s rebukes of the Pharisees, and then discussed some ways to combat spiritual snobbery. I’d like to share the ways he mentioned along with some others that came to mind.

phariseeandpublican

Cures for Spiritual Snobbery

1. Remember where we came from.

See Ephesians 2:1-14. We were dead in sins, apart from Christ.

2. Remember God’s grace.

Also from the above passage, we were saved only by the blood of Christ due to His mercy and grace, not because of anything good in ourselves or any work we could do.

3. Remember any good thing we have is from God.

“For who sees anything different in you? What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?” (I Corinthians 4:7, ESV).

4. Cultivate genuine humility.

– See the difference between the Pharisee and the publican (Luke 18:9-14).
– “Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped,but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” (Philippians 2:5-8, ESV)

5. Recognize that partiality is a sin incompatible with true religion.

See James 1:27-2:17.

6. Love our neighbors as ourselves.

Mark 12:30-31: “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

7. Esteem others to be better than ourselves.

“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves” (Philippians 2:3).

8. Develop compassion.

Keep their end in mind if they don’t come to Christ, empathize with their trying to solve their problems without Him.

9. Remember common grace.

Because everyone is made in the image of God, even though we’re marred by sin, some still retain a reflection of Him. Rosaria Butterfield pointed out in Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert that the gay community she came from was very caring of each other, and it was eye-opening when the gay community and the Christian community ended up side by side while trying to minister to someone in need.

10. Realize that even if we did every single thing right, we’d still have nothing to brag about.

Luke 17:10: “So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty.’”

Have you ever noticed a tendency toward spiritual snobbery in yourself? What has helped you to combat it?

I’m linking here today:

Book Review: The Duet

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DuetIn The Duet by Robert Elmer, Gerrit Appeldoorn is a widower who is supposed to be retired from his dairy farm in the primarily Dutch community of Van Dalen, Washington. But he struggles trying to figure out what he is supposed to do with himself, especially when his son, who has taken over the farm, fusses at him every time he tries to do any of his old chores.

One day he meets his granddaughter’s new piano teacher, widow Joan Horton, and is instantly attracted. Their many differences cause sparks to fly at first: he is staunchly Calvinistic and opinionated, has rarely been outside Van Dalen, and spent most of his life with mud on his boots. She is a Nazarene, citified, not Dutch, refined, a world traveler, on her way to becoming a department head in her university.

In addition, each faces various problems with a son and a major crisis.

I had picked this up because I loved Robert Elmer’s Wildflowers of Terezin (linked to my review) and wanted to check out another of his books. This one has its sweet moments, and I love when a love story involves someone other than the young, svelte, and beautiful, but I didn’t like it quite as well as Wildflowers. Maybe that’s because I found nothing in Gerrit that was appealing to me except his relationship with his granddaughter. But it was a pleasant read and one I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend.

(This will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

The Hidden Art of Homemaking Book Club: Chapter 9: Writing – Prose and Poetry

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Chapter 9 of The Hidden Art of Homemaking by Edith Schaeffer, which we’re discussing a chapter at a time at  The Hidden Art of Homemaking Book Club hosted by Cindy at Ordo Amoris, is about writing.

I’m a little late reading and discussing it this week because we had family here until yesterday, but this is one chapter I did not want to miss.

I’ve enjoyed writing since I was very young: poetry as a child and teen-ager, various journals (which I am grieved to say I threw away in my teens), letters, a handful of magazine articles, a few magazine columns, several years’ worth of monthly newsletters for a church ladies’ group, and a nearly 7 year old blog. I’ve always enjoyed expressing myself in that way, and find I can think things through more easily by writing about them. It’s hard to work through a swirling tangle of thoughts, and by writing I can take a strand at a time, pin it down, and then sort through them all.

I’ve often wondered if God might have something more for me to do with writing. For years I’ve had a desire to write a book, but I don’t know if that’s just a personal ambition or something from the Lord. Edith encouraged me by saying, “Writing for the enjoyment of expression – like music or painting – does not need an audience of more than one,” and “If you simply love to write and want to do it, my advice is write. But write without ambitious pride, which makes you feel it is a ‘waste’ to write what will never be published. Write to communicate to someone, even if it is literally only one person. It is not a waste to write beautiful prose or poetry for one person’s eyes alone! (p. 136).

She mentions several homey ways to write: notes in lunchboxes, cards, letters, writing out our prayers and praises to God, etc. She challenges us to write not just for people whose views are similar to our own. I love her description of trying to “formulate something in writing which will give them the feeling that they have been spending the evening with you, toasting their toes at the same fireplace with a pot of steaming tea by their sides while you have talked earnestly to them” (pp. 137-138).

She encourages us, too, that not everything we write will be a “masterpiece,” or “accomplish its purpose, and more than each meal is going to be the ‘perfect meal’ or each painting the ‘perfect painting,'” but each time we write we can do so “in a way which comes across as giving of oneself” (p. 140).

I received a thoughtful, handwritten thank you note this morning, a treasure in this electronic age, and can enjoy the reading of it over and over and the remembrance of my friend and our time together. Some of my treasures are letters, especially those from my mom, who did not write much (she preferred calling to writing), especially now that she has passed on. I have little from my maternal grandmother, who dies when I was four, besides two handwritten recipes, another treasure.

I was reminded, while reading this chapter, that Laura Ingalls Wilder and other writers didn’t start until later in life, and that she wrote magazine columns before books. That encourages me that sometimes things that have to be left on the back burner are more flavorful for their time there. Isobel Kuhn, a very expressive writer, began by writing “circular letters” of the people they ministered to in China for their supporters, lively descriptions rather than bare-faced facts and figures, and out of that grew her writing of several books. That encourages me that writing “where we are” can develop the skills for a wider audience later.

So I am encouraged and refocused, to write as unto Him, to write as giving of myself, to write to encourage others, to write earnestly so as to make the other feel they’re right beside me, and to trust Him for leading, guidance, and grace to write in whatever venues He provides.

And I am so very glad God communicated to us through writing, through the written Word and the Living Word.

Family Visit and Friday’s Fave Five

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Wow, I don’t think I have ever been away from my blog for a whole week before! My step-father, two of my sisters, and one nephew from TX came for nearly a week-long visit and just left this morning. We had a great time with a balanced amount of just hanging out and talking and then going and doing some fun things. All of us except Jim, Jason, and Mittu, who had to work, drove a couple of hours to meet up with another sister, her significant other, a niece, and her daughter from SC in Asheville, NC. for  few hours yesterday, and one night we got together at a restaurant with an aunt and uncle from across town that we’d been trying to get together with for three years – we joked that it took family coming from TX to make it happen. We did a lot of talking, eating, and laughing all week.

This has been a whole week of highlights, here are five of them:

1. Visiting with extended family, of course. 🙂

2. Meeting my great-niece for the first time. She’s two and absolutely adorable.

3. Playing games. We had several rousing hands of Apples to Apples one night and Taboo another night.

4. Going to Jason and Mittu’s for dinner one night. She makes a wonderful easier and lighter version of Chicken Cordon Bleu that is one of my favorite dishes, had some neat egg salad bites for appetizers, and chocolate waffles with ice cream for dessert.

5. Dixie Stampede. A rootin’, tootin’, wild west revue type of show is not necessarily my favorite, but the whole experience  of a dinner show with the family was great fun. We had a fun, wonderful waiter. One of the food items you get is a whole small rotisserie chicken, and as he was serving those he was calling out, “Chicken nuggets!” I had seen on the web site that they don’t offer serving utensils as part of the experience, so I slipped some plastic ones in a plastic bag for us. When our waiter saw them, he said, “Cheater, cheater!” and when he was gathering up plates afterward joked about not wanting to touch the “contraband.” They serve one food item at a time (which works out well, because they serve a massive amount of food, and you’d never be able to eat it all at one time), and when he delivered the corn on the cob, he joked, “Try eating that with a fork!” They do give you a warm, wet cloth at the hand to wipe your hands.

All in all it was a great week! But I am officially giving myself the day off today, except for laundry, and I foresee a nap in my future since we got up with them at 4 a.m. to see them off. And I will try to catch up with you all throughout the day.

Linking up with Susanne‘s Friday’s Fave Fives today:

FFF daisies

Friday’s Fave Five

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FFF daisies

Welcome to Friday’s Fave Five, hosted by Susanne at Living to Tell the Story, in which we can share five of our favorite things from the last week,  wonderful exercise in looking for and appreciating the good things God blesses us with. Click on the button to learn more, then go to Susanne’s to read others’ faves and link up your own.

Another week has flown by. Whew!  Here are some of its highlights.

1. A game night. This is actually from weekend before last but I had forgotten it by Friday. Jason and Mittu came over for a game of Settlers of Cataan, which we hadn’t done for a while. It ended up being about the closest game of that I ever remember playing.

2. Crescent rolls without seams:

Barbara's Cell phone pics 198

I have a couple of recipes which use crescent roll dough rolled out, and you’re supposed to press the seams together. They rarely stay pressed, so this was nice to see.

3. Annette’s Snickerdoodle Bars, made when my friend from last week came. I think I have mentioned them before: they’re a highlight any week I make them. 🙂

4. A nostalgic breakfast. My friend who came through last week on her way to see her daughter came back through last night, and we went out for breakfast this morning. We were headed out to one place when we saw the sign for Shoney’s breakfast bar. That used to be our go-to place when our kids were babies: they’d have regular coupons, and kids ate free. So we went there for old time’s sake, and they had many of the same features I remembered.

5. An eventful phone call. A man in our church has been on a list for a lung transplant and just got the call last night to head up to PA for surgery. I haven’t heard any word yet as to how everything went, but we’re hoping and praying for the best.

I may be scarce this next week as I have family coming in from out of town.

Happy Friday!

Spurgeon on criticism

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Someone posted this quote on Facebook recently:

“Brother, if any man thinks ill of you, do not be angry with him; for you are worse than he thinks you to be. If he charges you falsely on some point, yet be satisfied, for if he knew you better he might change the accusation, and you would be no gainer by the correction. If you have your moral portrait painted, and it is ugly, be satisfied; for it only needs a few blacker touches, and it would be still nearer the truth.” Spurgeon

The first sentence especially resonated with me. I was just discussing with my son yesterday that the first response to any criticism should be to examine it to see if there is any truth to it. I’m amazed at people who can’t take the merest suggestion that they might be doing something not quite right without becoming defensive and blowing up, or, in opposite fashion, becoming wounded and closing in on themselves.

Yet I have to admit, my first response to criticism isn’t, “Thank you: you’ve give me something to think about.” I might not say so out loud, but my first thoughts are likely to be something like, “You don’t understand,” or, “How DARE you!” or, “Oh yeah? Well take a look at yourself and deal with your own faults!” Not very pretty, is it? My first response should probably be, “Yes, and you don’t know the half of it!”

It should be no surprise to us that we’re not perfect, and no surprise that someone else notices that fact from time to time. Proverbs has much to say about hearing reproof:

For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life. Proverbs 6:23.

He is in the way of life that keepeth instruction: but he that refuseth reproof erreth. Proverbs 10:17.

Poverty and shame shall be to him that refuseth instruction: but he that regardeth reproof shall be honoured. Proverbs 13:18.

The ear that heareth the reproof of life abideth among the wise. Proverbs 15:31.

He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding. Proverbs 15:32.

A reproof entereth more into a wise man than an hundred stripes into a fool. Proverbs 17:10.

We can take comfort in the fact that God sees believers through His Son, Jesus Christ, and that once we savingly believe on Him, His righteousness is transferred to our account because He took our sinfulness on His. Because of His amazing grace, those who have believed on Christ for salvation become God’s children, and will have a home with Him in heaven. Our eternal life begins NOW, not when we die.

Yet until we get to heaven, we have a sin nature to contend with, and we’re instructed to “grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” (II Peter 3:18). II Timothy 3:16-17 tell us: “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work” (ESV). Part of that growing, completion, equipping, is realizing those areas where we have a problem and then seeking God’s grace and relying on His Word to change us. So when we receive a criticism, instead of just brushing it off, we can see if God means to use it to show us something we need to know about ourselves.

There is only one perfect person in the universe, and as we behold Him, He changes us to be more like Himself:  But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord. II Corinthians 3:18.

Book Review: The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place, Book 1: The Mysterious Howling

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IncorrigibleI hadn’t planned on reading The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place, Book 1: The Mysterious Howling by Maryrose Wood, but I had seen the title on different people’s book lists, and when I saw the audiobook was free (through today, June 12) via Sync, I decided to give it a try. I’m so glad I did.

The story involves a star graduate from Swanburne Academy for Poor Bright Females, Penelope Lumley, age fifteen, who is taking up her first assignment as a governess. Her charges are unusual: two boys and a girl with somewhat…canine tendencies, having been raised by wolves. Lord Ashton found them, but Lady Ashton is less than pleased.

Penelope is up for the challenge, which has its various ups and downs, along with several mysteries: How did the children come to be living alone in the woods? What happened to Penelope’s own parents? Why does Old Timothy, trusted servant and coachman, seem to be lurking about when Penelope is outside with the children?

The writing is a delight, with the quirky flavor of the Lemony Snicket and Mysterious Benedict Society books and an abundance of colorful similes, odd sayings of Swanburne’s founder (“If it were easy to resist, it would not be called chocolate cake”), amusing asides, and references to Dickens and Sherlock Holmes.

Katherine Kellgren’s reading brought the book wonderfully to life, with a variety of accents and tones for the different characters.

I’m hooked, even though it is technically a children’s book (but then, some of the best books adults love are children’s books, e.g, Narnia, Anne of Green Gables. etc). I already checked out the second book from the library.

(This will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

And Carol‘s Books You Loved.

Books you loved 4

The Hidden Art of Homemaking: Chapter 8: Food

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Chapter 8 of The Hidden Art of Homemaking by Edith Schaeffer, which we’re discussing a chapter at a time at  The Hidden Art of Homemaking Book Club hosted by Cindy at Ordo Amoris, is about food.

Once again Edith emphasizes that in this area as in all others, we have to balance time, money, energy, and priorities, and there will be times when food has to take a back seat to other things going on. But God has created a variety of foods that are both nutritious and beautiful to look at and has given us the taste buds, sense of smell, and eyes to enjoy them. She has some interesting observations on the manna that God provided the Israelites with during their travels in the wilderness, and notes that God could have made all food like that – nutritious compact packets – but that was just temporary “traveling food,” and for all the rest of time He’s allowed a great variety to enjoy.

Food is a major aspect of hospitality, and she emphasizes that the people Jesus said to include are not just old friends or people we’re trying to impress, but also “the least of these.”

I have to admit that I am relieved that this chapter is not what I thought it was going to be. I remember learning how to make radish roses in a high school Home Ec. class and thinking it was such a waste. She is not talking about providing extravagant meals or elaborate garnishes, but enjoying simple food prepared and offered with the simple artistry of a variety of colors, shapes, and textures. Although my husband appreciates the effort behind a nice meal, I think he would much rather have something simple and peaceful than something that takes hours and wears and stresses me out.

On the other hand, Edith describes a tramp coming to her door to ask for food, and instead of reluctantly thrusting whatever was at hand out the door at him, she made him a tasty and nice-looking sandwich and soup on a tray complete with flowers. Those little touches and efforts can convey, “You matter, and I care.”

Food cannot take care of spiritual, psychological and emotional problems, but the feeling of being loved and cared for, the actual comfort of the beauty and flavour of food, the increase of blood sugar and physical well-being, help one to go on during the next hours better equipped to meet the problems (p. 124).

One of the most well-known quotes about Edith herself, though I don’t know the source, is “As many people were brought to the Lord through Mrs. Schaeffer’s cinnamon buns as through Dr. Schaeffer’s sermons!”

I confessed some years ago that I don’t really like to cook a lot of the time, but I like to eat, and they sort of go together. 🙂 I recognize that it is a ministry to my family and part of my job description, and once I get going I’m ok with it. I just usually dislike having to stop whatever else I am involved in to go make dinner, but we all have to do things like that. I’m sure my husband doesn’t feel like going to work every day, either, but thankfully he does.

In discussing the last chapters, I’ve showed pictures of things I am pleased with: this time I am going to show you some of my epic fails, because I have had more of those in cooking than anything else. Enjoy. 🙂

Failure

One day I posted just this picture with the title “This is how my day has been going.” That was supposed to be for a ladies’ function at church the same night, so I had to come up with a plan B. I did dig the rest of the cake out of the pan, put it on the platter, covered it with glaze, and we enjoyed it as a family. It did taste good even if it didn’t look so good!

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These were supposed to be little Muppet-looking cupcakes, but the runny green icing made them look like baby swamp monsters.

Cake decorating has never been my forte, but I used to be able to spell.

And then there was the green gravy. One day years ago I was trying to make gravy that wasn’t turning as brown as I wanted it to. I had heard somewhere that mixing red and green make brown, so I added a few drops of red and green food coloring into the gravy. It turned green, and no amount of added red food coloring drops would change it to any other color. That time, instead of crying into my gravy, I started laughing hysterically until my husband came to see what was going on. But I couldn’t eat it. The strange greenish color was revolting. (I rarely make gravy, but these days I eat it whatever color it ends up being.)

And then there was the time I reached for the cinnamon instead of the chili powder for chili mac. That turned out….interestingly. And the time I accidentally grabbed baking soda instead of corn starch for teriyaki – that made it foam like a science fair volcano. I scooped out the foam and tried to rectify it, but it was still so salty that we were drinking fluids all evening to counterbalance the extra sodium in our systems, and my husband can’t eat my teriyaki to this day.

Thankfully I’ve had more successes than failures, and though I’m not the best cook in the world, my family likes it enough to keep coming back for more, and we appear to be relatively healthy. 🙂

Some other cooking-related posts here that you might enjoy:
Cakes Are My Culinary Waterloo.
Cooking style.
Cooking experiences.
Food flashbacks.
Encouragement for Homemakers.

Book Review: The Merchant’s Daughter

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Merchants daughterI picked up The Merchant’s Daughter by Melanie Dickerson on Lisa’s recommendation.

It’s the story of Annabel Chapman in the England of 1352, whose merchant father has died and whose proud family refuses the duty of every villager to work in the lord’s fields. As punishment, someone from her family is required to be his servant for three years, and Annabel offers herself for that position.

Lord Ranulf le Wyse is said to have a very short temper and to have some sort of deformity, making him repulsive to look upon and frightening to Annabel, but she soon discovers a different side to him.

Meanwhile, the bailiff, old enough to be her father and disgusting, has set his sights on her. Unfortunately, her duties at the lord’s house bring her into more contact with him, and even worse, her brother has given the man permission to pursue her.

Annabel feels the only way to both escape the bailiff and have access to the Bible she longs to read for herself is to escape to a nunnery as soon as her servitude is over, but when the opportunity arises, she questions that desire.

This story is based loosely on Beauty and the Beast, so of course I knew where it was ultimately going, but that was actually fun, to see how it corresponded to the fairy tale. It is a realistic retelling, though – no magic wands or spells – but I enjoyed that.

Probably my favorite parts involved Annabel being asked to read the Bible to Lord le Wyse since she is one of the few people in his household who can read Latin. Reading the Bible for herself (not everyone had one: even the local priest did not) has been one of her lifelong desires, and it’s a joy to watch her pore over it and discover its treasures for herself, stopping in her reading to ponder what it says.

This book was a pleasant companion on a recent “sick day,” and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I’m looking forward to checking out Melanie’s other books.

Here’s the book trailer for The Merchant’s Daughter:

Updated: I just discovered that the Kindle edition of this book is on sale for a limited time at $2.99. You don’t have to have a Kindle to get deals on Kindle books: they have apps for computer, tablets, and phones.

(This will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

And Carol‘s Books You Loved.

Books you loved 4

Laudable Linkage

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Here are just a few good reads from the last couple of weeks:

Examine Your Profession of Faith.

Speaking the Truth in Love. “Truth becomes hard if it is not softened by love; love becomes soft if it is not strengthened by truth.”

Idolizing Worship. “A true worshiper is not a consumer or a spectator. A true worshiper is one who is personally engaged with God in spirit and truth. The means of our worship is not Christ’s point of emphasis….In general we devote ourselves to building up the church, not simply pursuing an idealized experience that makes us feel as if we’ve worshiped.”

Slowing Down rather than rushing and hurrying children.

Sync Free Audiobooks. Sync is offering a couple of different audiobooks for free each week through the summer, several classics among them.

Why I Think You Should Break the Blogging Rules.

Hope you have a great weekend!