Author Archives: Barbara Harper

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About Barbara Harper

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Top Ten Poems

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Over Lent Sherry at Semicolon asked readers for their top ten “classic” poems — classic being defined here as older than copyright protection. Beginning the day after Easter, she has been counting down the top 100 in chronological order for Poetry Month. It will be interesting to see what favorites pop up that I’ve forgotten. She’s also including a bit of information about each one and sometimes a video of someone quoting it, plus such luscious quotes about poetry in general.

The ones I sent in were:

1. Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening by Robert Frost

I think this would be the most familiar poem to most Americans: I think most could quote the first two and last two lines.

2. How Do I Love Thee by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

The quintessential love poem.

3. To A Waterfowl by William Cullen Bryant

This might not be as familiar to most people. As I wrote in the post I linked to, I had originally read it in college, but it especially spoke to me when Elisabeth Elliot quoted some of it in her book The Savage My Kinsmen after her husband’s death.

4. To a Mouse by Robert Burns

Burns is one of my favorite poets. In this one he empathizes with a mouse whose nest he accidentally overturned while ploughing, and it contains the lines, “The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men, Gang aft agley,” or, as we often quote it in modern English, “The best laid plans of mice and men go oft awry.”

(Side note: you know what I would love: for Henry Ian Cusik, the Scottish actor who plays Desmond on “Lost,” To make a recording of his reading Burns’ poems.)

5. The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe

Another one I think many would be familiar with. I am not much for spooky stories generally, but Poe does such a good job conveying the atmosphere here.

6. A Red, Red Rose by Robert Burns

Sung beautifully by the King’s Singers here (only a snippet, I’m afraid.)

7. To My Dear and Loving Husband by Anne Bradstreet.

Another one that might not be as familiar to some, but the first two lines might be:

If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were lov’d by wife, then thee.

That was all I could think of at the time. At this point I’d add Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116 (the one about “the marriage of true minds” and “Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds.” And the more I think about it, the more several other poets come to mind. I might have to make a revised list when Sherry is done. 🙂

And I didn’t even think about Biblical poetry, but Sherry mentioned that first thing. All of the Psalms as well as other passages are poetry, though different, of course, that modern English poetry. She listed Psalm 23 as probably the most familiar and well-known Psalm, and I would agree.

And while I have snippets of other poems and names of poets running through my brain now, I’ll leave you with some favorite quotes about poems. It’s hard to define just what we like and what speaks to us about poetry, but here are some attempts:

“You cannot translate a poem into an explanation, any more than you can translate a poem into a painting or a painting into a piece of music or a piece of music into a walking stick. A work of art says what it says in the only way it can be said. Beauty, for example, cannot be interpreted. It is not an empirically verifiable fact; it is not a quantity.”~Wendell Berry, Life is a Miracle: An Essay Against Modern Superstition (Seen at Semicolon’s).

Poetry should… should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts, and appear almost a remembrance. ~John Keats

God is the perfect poet. ~Robert Browning

Poetry is life distilled. ~Gwendolyn Brooks

Poetry is thoughts that breathe, and words that burn. ~Thomas Gray

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words. ~Robert Frost

Poetry is ordinary language raised to the nth power. Poetry is boned with ideas, nerved and blooded with emotions, all held together by the delicate, tough skin of words. ~Paul Engle, New York Times, 17 February 1957

You can tear a poem apart to see what makes it tick…. You’re back with the mystery of having been moved by words. The best craftsmanship always leaves holes and gaps… so that something that is not in the poem can creep, crawl, flash or thunder in. ~Dylan Thomas, Poetic Manifesto, 1961

Happy Poetry Month!

The Week In Words

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http://breathoflifeministries.blogspot.com/2010/01/announcing-week-in-words.html Melissa at Breath of Life hosts a weekly carnival called The Week In Words,which involves sharing something from your reading that inspires you, causes you to laugh, cry, or dream, or just resonates with you in some way.

Here are a few:

From Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs:

Flint Lockwood: Come on, Steve. We’ve got a diem to carpe!

OK, technically I heard that first, but I was looking at the film on the IMDb website and looked through the quotes to get it exactly, so I did read it, too. 🙂 This was a book my son loved when he was younger, and I want to get it now and read it again and see how it compares to the film. But I just love that quote!

Here are two about books:

From a friend’s Facebook page:

A little library, growing larger every year, is an honourable part of a man’s history. It is a man’s duty to have books. A library is not a luxury, but one of the necessaries of life. Henry Ward Beecher

And I am not sure where I saw this one — possibly at Semicolon‘s:

“The student has his Rome, his Florence, his whole glowing Italy, within the four walls of his library. He has in his books the ruins of an antique world and the glories of a modern one.” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

And from a recent Elisabeth Elliot e-mail devotional, originally from her book A Lamp For My Feet:

What Fits Us For Service?

Is there any Christian who does not long for some special experience, vision, or feeling of the presence of God? This morning it seemed to me that unless I could claim such I was merely going through motions of prayer, meditation, reading; that the book I am writing on discipline will prove to be nothing but vanity and a striving after wind. The Lord brought yesterday’s word to mind again with this emphasis: it is not any experience, no matter how exciting, not any vision, however vivid and dazzling, not any feeling, be it ever so deep that fits me for service. It is the power of the blood of Christ. I am “made holy by the single unique offering of the body of Jesus Christ” (Heb 10:10), and by his blood “fit for the service of the living God.” My spiritual numbness cannot cancel that–the blood will never lose its power.

Top 100 Children’s Novels Meme

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I saw at Semicolon that Betsy at Fuse #8 has been counting down the Top 100 Children’s Novels from the survey she took back in January. Then, Teacher Ninja turned the list into a meme: which of the Top 100 Children’s Novels have you read? I’ve put the ones I have read on bold print, the ones I have only an acquaintance with in italics.

100. The Egypt Game – Snyder (1967)
99. The Indian in the Cupboard – Banks (1980) I liked them until I got to the end and was very disappointed at what was behind it all.)
98. Children of Green Knowe – Boston (1954)
97. The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane – DiCamillo (2006)
96. The Witches – Dahl (1983)
95. Pippi Longstocking – Lindgren (1950) (Saw a film years ago, not sure if I ever read it — don’t think so.)
94. Swallows and Amazons – Ransome (1930)
93. Caddie Woodlawn – Brink (1935)
92. Ella Enchanted – Levine (1997) (Saw the film, haven’t read the book)
91. Sideways Stories from Wayside School – Sachar (1978) (I don’t think I read this, but my oldest son did and enjoyed it.)
90. Sarah, Plain and Tall – MacLachlan (1985) (Saw the Glenn Close film and I think I read the book, but I can’t remember for sure.)
89. Ramona and Her Father – Cleary (1977)
88. The High King – Alexander (1968)
87. The View from Saturday – Konigsburg (1996)
86. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets – Rowling (1999)
85. On the Banks of Plum Creek – Wilder (1937)
84. The Little White Horse – Goudge (1946)
83. The Thief – Turner (1997)
82. The Book of Three – Alexander (1964)
81. Where the Mountain Meets the Moon – Lin (2009)
80. The Graveyard Book – Gaiman (200 8)
79. All-of-a-Kind-Family – Taylor (1951)
78. Johnny Tremain – Forbes (1943)
77. The City of Ember – DuPrau (2003)
76. Out of the Dust – Hesse (1997)
75. Love That Dog – Creech (2001)
74. The Borrowers – Norton (1953)
73. My Side of the Mountain – George (1959)
72. My Father’s Dragon – Gannett (1948)
71. The Bad Beginning – Snicket (1999)
70. Betsy-Tacy – Lovelace (1940)
69. The Mysterious Benedict Society – Stewart ( 2007)
68. Walk Two Moons – Creech (1994)
67. Jeremy Thatcher, Dragon Hatcher – Coville (1991)
66. Henry Huggins – Cleary (1950)
65. Ballet Shoes – Streatfield (1936)
64. A Long Way from Chicago – Peck (1998)
63. Gone-Away Lake – Enright (1957)
62. The Secret of the Old Clock – Keene (1959)
61. Stargirl – Spinelli (2000)
60. The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle – Avi (1990)
59. Inkheart – Funke (2003) (Saw the film)
58. The Wolves of Willoughby Chase – Aiken (1962)
57. Ramona Quimby, Age 8 – Cleary (1981)
56. Number the Stars – Lowry (1989)
55. The Great Gilly Hopkins – Paterson (1978)
54. The BFG – Dahl (1982)
53. Wind in the Willows – Grahame (1908)
52. The Invention of Hugo Cabret (2007)
51. The Saturdays – Enright (1941)
50. Island of the Blue Dolphins – O’Dell (1960)
49. Frindle – Clements (1996)
48. The Penderwicks – Birdsall (2005)
47. Bud, Not Buddy – Curtis (1999)
46. Where the Red Fern Grows – Rawls (1961) (Saw the film, think I read the book, can’t say for sure.)
45. The Golden Compass – Pullman (1995)
44. Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing – Blume (1972)
43. Ramona the Pest – Cleary (1968)
42. Little House on the Prairie – Wilder (1935)
41. The Witch of Blackbird Pond – Speare (1958)
40. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz – Baum (1900) (Who hasn’t seen the film? But I haven’t read it. Janet has.)
39. When You Reach Me – Stead (2009)
38. HP and the Order of the Phoenix – Rowling (2003)
37. Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry – Taylor (1976)
36. Are You there, God? It’s Me, Margaret – Blume (1970)
35. HP and the Goblet of Fire – Rowling (2000)
34. The Watsons Go to Birmingham – Curtis (1995)
33. James and the Giant Peach – Dahl (1961) (Saw the film, didn’t care for it.)
32. Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH – O’Brian (1971)
31. Half Magic – Eager (1954)
30. Winnie-the-Pooh – Milne (1926)
29. The Dark Is Rising – Cooper (1973)
28. A Little Princess – Burnett (1905)
27. Alice I and II – Carroll (1865/72)
26. Hatchet – Paulsen (1989)
25. Little Women – Alcott (1868/9)
24. HP and the Deathly Hallows – Rowling (2007)
23. Little House in the Big Woods – Wilder (1932)
22. The Tale of Despereaux – DiCamillo (2003)
21. The Lightening Thief – Riordan (2005)
20. Tuck Everlasting – Babbitt (1975) (Saw the film.)
19. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Dahl (1964) (Saw the film, think I may have read it, not sure. I think oldest son did.)
18. Matilda – Dahl (1988)
17. Maniac Magee – Spinelli (1990)
16. Harriet the Spy – Fitzhugh (1964)
15. Because of Winn-Dixie – DiCamillo (2000)
14. HP and the Prisoner of Azkaban – Rowling (1999)
13. Bridge to Terabithia – Paterson (1977)
12. The Hobbit – Tolkien (1938)
11. The Westing Game – Raskin (1978)
10. The Phantom Tollbooth – Juster (1961)
9. Anne of Green Gables – Montgomery (1908)
8. The Secret Garden – Burnett (1911)
7. The Giver -Lowry (1993)
6. Holes – Sachar (1998) (Saw the film.)
5. From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler – Koningsburg (1967)
4. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe – Lewis (1950)
3. Harry Potter #1 – Rowling (1997)
2. A Wrinkle in Time – L’Engle (1962)
1. Charlotte’s Web – White (1952)

Some of these I’ve not heard of. Some I have wanted to get to but haven’t yet. I am surprised to see The Hobbit classified as a children’s novel.

Some I have read that are not here:

The rest of the Anne of Green Gables series by L. M. Montgomery
The rest of the Little House books by Laura Ingalls Wilder
The rest of Louisa May Alcott’s books that could be classified as being children’s novels (Little Men, Jo’s Boys, Eight Cousins)
The rest of the Narnia series by C. S. Lewis
The Little Lame Prince
Five Little Peppers and How They Grew (sweet story)
Heidi
One or two of the Boxcar Children series
Several Encyclopedia Brown books
A few Hardy Boys novels
Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea (I think…)
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer or Huckleberry Finn or maybe both.
Black Beauty
The first few Lemony Snicket books
Keep the Lights Burning, Abbie (though that is probably classified as a chapter book rather than a novel.

…and possibly others I am not remembering. By the time my kids got to novels, either their reading had dropped off dramatically (my younger two) or their reading outpaced my own (my oldest).

Let me know if you do this so I can come over and compare lists. 🙂

I’ve Found a Friend

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I’ve found a Friend, O such a friend! He loved me ere I knew Him;
He drew me with the cords of love, and thus He bound me to Him;
And round my heart still closely twine those ties which naught can sever,
For I am His, and He is mine, forever and forever.

I’ve found a Friend, O such a friend! He bled, He died to save me;
And not alone the gift of life, but His own Self He gave me!
Naught that I have mine own I call, I’ll hold it for the Giver,
My heart, my strength, my life, my all are His, and His forever.

I’ve found a Friend, O such a friend! All pow’r to Him is given,
To guard me on my onward course, and bring me safe to heaven.
The eternal glories gleam afar, to nerve my faint endeavor;
So now to watch, to work, to war, and then to rest forever.

I’ve found a Friend, O such a friend! So kind and true and tender,
So wise a Counselor and Guide, so mighty a Defender!
From Him who loves me now so well what power my soul can sever?
Shall life or death, shall earth or hell? No! I am His forever.

~ James G. Small

A public service announcement concerning walkers

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No, not the walkers babies use, but the ones the elderly or disabled use.

1. Do not pull or jerk on the walker, even if trying to help the person over a bump. There are several reasons for this:

  • It throws them off balance.
  • The walker is an extension of themselves and it is an invasion of their personal space as much as if you pulled on their arm.
  • It can make them feel helpless and embarrassed.

Sometimes, however, the person may appreciate a little assistance if they are having trouble maneuvering. If you see someone trying to get their walker up a step or over a hump, be patient and observe for a moment and see if they are doing all right or seem frustrated. If you think they might like help, offer first. “Mrs. Jones, can I help you get your walker over this step here?” Don’t just jump in and jerk it. Gently lift it, especially being careful if they are leaning on it for balance: you may need to let them take your arm as well, depending on whether they can balance on their own for a moment or need help with a step.

2. The person with a walker usually understands that he or she is a little slow and you may want to get around them, and that’s fine, but please don’t cut in too closely — the sudden movement and closeness can also cause balance to waver.

3. Some people can’t stand long even with a walker. They would love to talk with you, but may need to sit down first.

4. If you see someone coming with a walker, please move out of their way. Often they feel conspicuous and cumbersome and are embarrassed to ask. Some are not, though, and will just call out a cheery, “Beep, beep!” or something similar — please don’t be offended.

5. Similarly, please don’t be offended if they accidentally bump into you. Sometimes, especially with older people, their depth perception is affected as well. Some might not even be aware that they bumped you, but most would be horrified.

I am writing both from the perspective of having used a walker for several months after TM, but also from my elderly mother-in-law’s perspective now. I think most people mean well, but have just never thought about or experienced some of these things from the point of view of one using a walker. A little patience and thoughtfulness are much appreciated.

Please feel free to share anything I may have forgotten or not thought about, but please keep it positive. I don’t want people to think we’re ranting or griping at them, but rather just informing and educating.

Friday’s Fave Five

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Susanne at Living to Tell the Story hosts a “Friday Fave Five” in which we share our five favorite things from the past week. Click on the button to read more of the details, and you can visit Susanne to see the list of others’ favorites or to join in.

My favorites from the past week or so:

1. Gorgeous weather this week at just the right temperatures.

2. Things are coming together for the ladies’ luncheon next month. We’d had the date, theme, and speaker for a few weeks: this week we got the caterer and menu lined up and got a good dent put into making favors at the ladies’ meeting Monday night. I need to get invitations and tickets made and printed off this weekend, then finish favors and centerpieces in the next week or two.

3. Chicken teriyaki and fried rice from the Japanese place at the mall. Jim volunteered to get that for dinner Monday night as I had a lot of preparation for the ladies’ meeting that night. Not only was that a big help to me, but I really like the stuff, too. 🙂

4. My Cricut Expressions cutting machine. My dear husband had given it to me almost a year ago, and I’ve played around with it, but hadn’t really gotten into it yet. I used it for a couple of pieces for the favors we made this week, and was able to get acquainted with it and figure some things out. Cutting 80 figures out with a machine was so much nicer and less time consuming than doing so by hand! And I so enjoyed “creating” and want to get back to doing more.

5. Some people might think that putting a Scripture passage on the same list as chicken teriyaki and nice weather is making light of Scripture. I don’t see it that way. Scripture is, of course, on a higher plane than these other things, but why wouldn’t something I read in the Bible be among my favorite things from the week? Anyway, in the last couple of days I have been in Exodus 32-34, where the children of Israel made the golden calf at the very time Moses was on the mountaintop receiving God’s commandments for them — after they had already promised to do what God said, and after all they had seen Him do. God in His anger at them wanted to wipe them out and start a new nation with Moses, but Moses interceded for them. Then God spared them, but said He would not go with them. Moses again pleaded with Him, and in one of my favorite passages in the Bible, God promises, “My presence shall go with thee, and I will give thee rest.” Moses replies, “If thy presence go not with me, carry us not up hence,” in other words, “We don’t want to go anywhere without you.”  Such a poignant scene, and such a wonderful promise, that we can trust Him not only to lead us but to be with us.

Flashback Friday: Music and other lessons

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Mocha With Linda has begun a new weekly meme called Flashback Friday. She’ll post a question every Thursday, and then Friday we can link our answers up on her site.

The question for today is:

If you have a child in your life, your calendar for April and May is probably quickly filling up with end-of-year activities – performances, recitals, etc. Did you take lessons as a child? Piano or another instrument? Gymnastics or dance? Other types of lessons? Were they weekly? How much were you required to practice between lessons? Did you participate in recitals? If so, do any of them stand out in your memory? Did they foster a love or a hate for that activity? Did you want to take lessons in a certain thing that you never got to? And if you have kids now, how did your experiences with taking lessons like these impact the activities you had/have them do?

Sadly, no, I never took any lessons of any kind as a child or teen until driver’s training. When I was in about the 3rd or 4th grade, there was an assembly discussing violin lessons, and I really, really wanted to take them. But money was always tight and I just assumed we wouldn’t have money for such a thing. I kick myself now, of course, for not asking about it, at least.

I did take one semester of piano in college and enjoyed it, but as it took me five years to finish a four-year course as it was, I didn’t see how I could fit any more lessons (and especially the practice times) in. I know I could learn now, but I have no desire to play before other people, and the amount of time it would take to learn to play well enough for it to be enjoyable and not frustrating  is just not something I have right now, at least not in light of all the other things I want to do. There are still times, however, when I long to just sit down at the piano and play something, to be able to express myself in that way.

I did take a few crafty type lessons as a young wife. We lived near a Christian college where the Home Economic Education girls had  to take a class called Teaching Home Economics, and one requirement of that class was to teach a course having to do with cooking, sewing, or crafts over a few weeks. The classes were free and open to the community. I took cake decorating (but sadly, did not take to it. I didn’t have a natural knack for it and didn’t want to put the time into practice on something that was just going to be eaten up), quilting, and a few others.

The only other lessons I have considered taking are voice lessons, but I am too self-conscious to sing alone in front of a teacher. 🙂 Plus I don’t need to add the nervousness of stress of performing in public to my life.

As far as other lessons — gymnastics, karate, etc. — that just wasn’t done much when I was a kid, at least in our circles. We mainly just rode bikes and played outside. 🙂

When my kids came along, I did want them to take piano, if nothing else. I felt that was foundational to any other instrument they might want to learn, plus it would help the if they were ever in a choir. Though not prodigies, they all did fairly well (could have done better, if they had practiced more. 🙂 ) They all wanted to quit by high school age, and I didn’t let the first two: I had heard so many people say they regretted that their mothers let them quit, plus one person we knew who was greatly skilled at it shared that he had wanted to quit when he was younger, too. So the older boys took piano through high school. By the third one, though, I was just tired of dealing with the resistance, so we did let him stop taking lessons this year. He says he just wants to take a one-year break and then come back to it…but I doubt he will. 😦

My middle son tells me he asked repeatedly to take some kind of martial arts and that I kept putting him off by saying  we should wait a while and see if he was really interested. I don’t remember that at all. I do remember thinking about it and being afraid of the Eastern religious influence. I know now that, depending on the teacher, the skills and principles can be taught without getting into the religious aspect, and I wish we had checked into it at the time. (Sorry Jason!)

I don’t remember that we really got into other lessons. They all played sports at various times, and were all in choirs at various times. We wanted to balance giving them opportunities we never had with not overloading their schedules so they (and the rest of the family) never had any down time. Besides the martial arts, I don’t remember them asking for any other lessons…except that when Jeremy was in about 4th or 5th grade, they had someone come and talk to them about playing strings, and he wanted interested in the double bass. The only problem was that they only gave the lessons during recess, and at that time he only had one recess, and one of them each week was taken up with piano lessons. I felt he needed both the physicality and the social interaction of recess more, so we didn’t sign up, and I have regretted it ever since. He tells me not to worry about it, that he hasn’t been pining away for it all these years, but I do still regret it. I think I would have signed him up if they had had an after-school program.

So, this year for us we have no piano recitals and no concerts as Jesse is not in choir this year, either. As much as I chafed at having all these programs to attend in years past, I have to admit I do kind of miss them. Not enough to go watch the other kids, though. 🙂

The Hidden Flame

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The Hidden Flame by Janette Oke and Davis Bunn is the second in the Acts of Faith series set during the time of the early church in Acts. The first book, The Centurion’s Wife (reviewed here) took place just after the death and resurrection of Christ. The Hidden Flame picks up right where the action left off in the earlier book, but then there is a two-year gap before we see the early disciples in their new patterns of life.

The main character of this book is Abigail, a friend of Leah’s from the previous book. Abigail thought she had lost her entire family, but discovered her brother alive at the end of the first book. Now they have become integrated with the disciples, and despite Abigail’s previous injuries from a cauldron of boiling water spilling onto her, she is an active member, busy ministering in the kitchens and in distributing food to the poor. Two men are after her hand: one an older, wealthy Jewish merchant, the other a young Roman soldier. The problem, though, is that neither of them are believers, which is something she strongly desires in a mate, but women in that day had little say about whom they were given to in marriage.

I mentioned in my review of the first book that I approach Biblical fiction somewhat warily as too often the author’s imagination can take off and obscure or even supersede the facts. But David Bunn and Janette Oke are as careful as I think they can be. The reader has to understand  that the characters who are developed a little more than the Bible gives us information about are products of the author’s imagination and therefore not entirely Biblical, but I think the authors do a good job of fleshing out what they think the Biblical characters might have been like.

The main events from the book of Acts here are the way the church dealt with the persecuted or displaced early believers, the deaths of Ananias and Sapphira, the naming of the first deacons, and the stoning of Stephen. I especially appreciated the way the situation with Ananias and Sapphira was handled. We tend to breeze right through that passage on the way to the next, but this caused me to think for the first time how the incident must have impacted  both the community and the believers, who I imagine would have been very shaken. As the different believers in the story wrestle with what has happened and discuss it with each other, we hear varying views of possible reasons the Lord handled the situation in just that way without a one dogmatic, overriding view.

I am assuming there will be more books in the series: there were no loose ends at the conclusion, but there was a feel that there was more of the story to come. I look forward to it.

(This review will be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

Tax Funnies

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This is the day in America in which all income tax returns are due in. Before electronic filing, I remember when the post offices would stay open til midnight on April 15 so taxpayers could get their returns in. I remember one year when we were in line at the post office late the evening of April 15 to turn ours in! We only did that once!

To ease the pain of taxes a bit, here are some jokes about them:

1040 EZiest TAX FORM
___________________

1. How much money did you make? $____________

2. Send it to us.

U.S. Gov’t. Form 8765309
____________________________________________________

* The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. ~ Mark Twain

* Income tax time is drawing near. Did you ever notice that if you take the two words – “The” and “IRS” it spells “Theirs”?

* Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it. ~ Ronald Reagan

* The IRS looks at every taxpayer as having what it takes.

* A political promise today means another tax tomorrow.

* We wonder why they call them tax returns when so little of it does.

* April is always a difficult month for Americans. Even if your ship comes in, the IRS is right there to help you unload it.

* IRS agent to taxpayer: “I’m afraid we can’t allow you to deduct last year’s tax as a bad investment.”

* If you think nobody knows you’re alive…try filing your income tax late!

* The ideal situation, of course, is for the government to live within its means and without yours.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

The stockbroker received notice from the IRS that he was being audited. He showed up at the appointed time and place with all his financial records, then sat for what seemed like hours as the accountant poured over them.

Finally the IRS agent looked up and commented, “You must have been a tremendous fan of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.”

“Why would you say that?” wondered the broker.

“Because you’ve made more brilliant deductions on your last three returns than Sherlock Holmes made in his entire career.”
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, “Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated.”

“And what,” his friend asked, “Do you want me to do with your ashes?”

The businessman said, “Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service and write on the envelope, “Now you have everything.”
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditor who had come to review his records. At one point the auditor exclaimed, “Mr. Carr, we feel it is a great privilege to be allowed to live and work in the USA. As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to eagerly pay them with a smile.”

“Thank goodness,” returned Mr. Carr, with a giant grin on his face from ear to ear. “I thought you were going to want me to pay with cash.”
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

There was a man who computed his taxes for 1998 and found that he owed $3,407. He packaged up his payment and included this letter:

Dear IRS:
Enclosed is my 1998 Tax Return & payment. Please take note of the attached article from the USA Today newspaper. In the article, you will see that the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat.

Please find enclosed four toilet seats (value $2,400) and six hammers (value $1,029).
This brings my total payment to $3,429.00. Please note the overpayment of $22.00 and apply it to the ‘Presidential Election Fund,’ as noted on my return.
It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.

Sincerely,
Tax Payer
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

And a serious quote or two:

We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. ~ Winston Churchill

The point to remember is that what the government gives it must first take away. ~ John S. Coleman

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. ~ George Bernard Shaw

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free. ~ P.J. O’Rourke

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. ~ Gerald Ford

A Kitchen Meme

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Whew! Yesterday was super-busy getting ready for the ladies’ meeting last night, where we worked on favors for the upcoming ladies’ luncheon. I am going to wait to show them, though. 🙂 Traditionally, for some reason, we have fewer ladies come out to the type of meeting where we’re doing anything hands-on than when we have a speaker (I would have thought maybe some were wary putting together anything crafty, but even when we do something like wrap missionary Christmas presents, we have fewer.) But I really enjoy the fellowship over whatever we’re working on plus the creativity of the other ladies. We got quite a few favors put together.

I only had time for a quick drive-by of some posts yesterday, but I hope to catch up with everyone today.

I saw this over at Mama Bear‘s and thought it looked like fun.

1. Do you have magnets on your fridge? Yes. I did a post on them once. I have so many I had to take some down and store them in a drawer. This is one of my favorites:

Magnet

2. Do you have a calendar in your kitchen, if so, what’s the theme of it? Yes. It’s the Faithful Moments 2010 calendar illustrated by Lisa Blowers. It has homey drawings with Scripture verses. Here is this month’s page:

3. What is your favorite kitchen gadget? My wire whisk. I could never make gravy well until I got one. I don’t know how my mom managed without one. Now I use it on white sauces, cream of wheat — anything that needs to be smooth and lump-free.

4. Are you lucky enough to have a pantry of some kind? No, and I miss having one.

5.What is your favorite appliance? I probably should say microwave, as much as we use it, but I’ll say toaster oven (assuming, of course, that whoever made this up meant smaller appliances. I’d have a hard time going without the stove and refrigerator.)

6. Do you have an eat in kitchen (table in it)? I guess you would say so. It’s all in the same room but separated by cabinets and the stove. We do not have a separate dining room.

7. Do you have a bread box? Yes.

8. Do you have a picture of your kids on the fridge? No. They’re in the hallway. 🙂

9. Do you ever cook breakfast in your PJs? On weekends.

10. Do you have a favorite cookbook that you use? Yes, an old Betty Crocker one and my church cookbook.

11. Are you lucky enough to have recipes that were passed down from your mom or grandma? I make some of the same dishes my mom did, but I don’t have her recipes written down. I do have a couple from one grandmother but I have never tried them.

12. What’s your favorite food? It would be too hard to choose one overall favorite  — I like many things, and what I prefer each day varies.

13. What’s your favorite thing to cook? For dinner, something with chicken tenderloins. I like that you can take them straight from the freezer and have a meal made in 30 minutes or less. Chicken Enchilada Bake is one family favorite using them.

14. Is your coffee pot electric or stove top? Electric. I grew up with a stove-top percolator but didn’t think anyone used them any more.

15. Do you ever make your own bread? No. Well, banana and pumpkin bread, but not sandwich bread. I tried a few times in early marriage but it always came out really heavy in texture.

16. Name one thing that you have hanging on your wall in your kitchen: A pegged shelf with little heart ornaments accumulated from various places we’ve visited.

17. Is there a clock in your kitchen? Yes, one in the microwave, one on the “dry sink.”

18. Do you have a bowl of fruit sitting on your table or counter? No, all fruit except bananas are in the refrigerator. I like them cold. And I don’t like fruit flies.

19. What type of canisters do you have? An old Tupperware set, the kind with the accordion-pleated lids.

20. Does your kitchen have a theme? Hearts and pink roses.

21. What’s for supper tonight? Good question! 🙂

22. Do you have enough cabinet space? No. Some of the bigger stuff is in the living room closet.

23. Does your family use paper plates? Frequently for snacks and lunches, occasionally for dinner if we’re having something like hamburgers. We use them for Sunday morning breakfast so as not to have to wash plates again before dinner.

24. Do you have a good set of china? No. Just my Tea Rose Pfaltzgraf, which I love. There is no room for a china cabinet, anyway.

25. Do you wear an apron to work in your kitchen? No. Some of the ones I see these days are really cute, but I just don’t like to bother.

26. Name one thing, if anything, that you would like to change about your kitchen. More cabinet and counter space, a pantry, and more room around the table. Sorry, that’s three. 🙂 But we can’t do any of that without knocking out a wall, and that’s too expensive.

Feel free to borrow this as well. Let me know if you do!