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About Barbara Harper

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Happy Anniversary to us!

Today is our 28th wedding anniversary!

For my “Show and Tell” today I wanted to show the necklace I wore at my wedding. I was thinking my husband gave it to me, but the more I think about it, the more I am not sure. I may have bought it myself.

Wedding necklace

A similar symbol was on our invitations.

Invitation

I’m sorry, I couldn’t get that picture any clearer after several attempts. Here is a close-up of the symbol.

Symbol on invitation

That symbol was also on our napkins at the reception, along with our names and the date, but for some reason I don’t have one of the napkins in my wedding album.

We chose the symbol of the two wedding rings on the cross because we wanted to symbolize several things: that our love was based on God’s love for us shown in many ways but most of all on the cross, that we wanted our lives centered on Christ and the gospel, that the strength to have a good, godly, edifying Christian marriage would come from Him.

We were delighted to find the same symbol on the necklace.

Here is a wedding picture where you can see the necklace…

Wedding

…although it’s crooked and my eyes are closed and Jim looks a little tipsy though neither of us drinks. 🙂 I have to say my wedding photos were my one disappointment. In most of them my eyes are closed. Double exposure was “the” big special effect then…

Wedding

…but this one places the candles in our noses.

I like this one..

Wedding

…though a background besides a brick wall would have been a little more romantic. 🙂

Photography has come a long way since then. 🙂 I’m sure digital cameras help a lot. But — though lovely pictures are nice, having everything “picture perfect” is not the most important thing. When I see young brides stressing out over wedding details, I wish I could encourage them to just relax: the important business will get done whether all the little details do or not, and a good marriage can survive without all the fuss around the wedding ceremony itself.

Happy anniversary to my one and only. Thanks for 28 wonderful years! 

show-and-tell.jpg Kelli at There’s No Place Like Home hosts “Show and Tell Friday” asking “Do you have a something special to share with us? It could be a trinket from grade school, a piece of jewelry, an antique find. Your show and tell can be old or new. Use your imagination and dig through those old boxes in your closet if you have to! Feel free to share pictures and if there’s a story behind your special something, that’s even better! If you would like to join in, all you have to do is post your “Show and Tell” on your blog, copy the post link, come over here and add it to Mr. Linky. Guidelines are here.“

Fall Into Reading Wrap-Up and Reviews

Katrina at Callapidder Days hosted another Fall Into Reading challenge these last few months, and since today is the last day of autumn, it’s time to wrap up the challenge.

Here is my list with links to my reviews of the ones I finished. I’ll answer Katrina’s questions at the end.

Spirit of the Rainforest: A Yanomamo Shaman’s Story by Mark Ritchie, recommended by Jungle Mom, reviewed here.

In the Best Possible Light by Beneth Peters Jones, about Biblical femininity. I started this one but didn’t finish it. I could tell after a chapter or so into it that I wouldn’t get as much out of it from my usual piecemeal style of reading. Usually with Christian non-fiction I incorporate them into my devotional time. I want to do that with this one after Christmas. With everyone on a break from work and school, I have a little more time in the mornings without having to keep one eye on the clock. It’s a timely and important subject that I’ve been wanting to explore.

Return to Me by Robin Lee Hatcher, about a prodigal daughter, reviewed here.

Simple Gifts by Lori Copeland, read but not reviewed yet. Maybe in a few days. 🙂

The Parting, the first in a new series by Beverly Lewis, who is always good, reviewed here. Most, if not all of her stories are stem from her grandmother’s Amish heritage.

Just Beyond the Clouds by Karen Kingsbury, a sequel to A Thousand Tomorrows, continuing the story of Cody Gunner, dealing in this book with the care of his brother who has Down Syndrome, reviewed here.

Home to Holly Springs by Jan Karon, a new novel about Father Tim of the Mitford series, reviewed here.

I also like to include at least one classic, and this time it was supposed to be The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas pere, but I never made it to the library to check it out. So I’ll look forward to doing that in the next few weeks.

I included my daily/weekly reads this time:

Queen of the Castle: 52 Weeks of Encouragement for the Uninspired, Domestically Challenged or Just Plain Tired Homemaker by Lynn Bowen Walker. I finished it a couple of weeks ago. I haven’t formally reviewed it — I might after Christmas — but I have mentioned it many times. Love it! Lots of good stuff. I will probably read it again week by week this year, too. My interview with Lynn is here.

Daily Light on the Daily Path compiled by the Samuel Bagster family. I use this to begin my devotional times and help me get my mind in gear. I’ve used it for years and have mentioned it many times. On Sundays and occasional busy or sick days this might be all I do, but it gives much food for thought.

Wonderful Words by Stewart Custer. It is another daily devotional with a different word for each day and various verses containing that word. It’s interesting and the Lord has used it to speak to me, but I think it would be better if the verses weren’t listed in the order they appear in the Bible but were rather connected by meaning.

The Bible: Finished Psalms, which I was partway into when the challenge started, and went on to complete Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, and Song of Solomon. I’m now about 30 chapters into Isaiah.

Books I read that weren’t on my list:

Shopping For Time was written by the authors of the girltalk blog, mom Carolyn Mahaney and daughters Nicole Mahaney Whitacre, Kristin Chesemore, and Janelle Bradshaw, reviewed here.

The Restorer’s Son wasn’t originally on my Fall Reading List simply because I forgot it was coming out in that time frame. How could I have forgotten? Sharon Hinck is one author whose books I eagerly anticipate. The Restorer’s Son is a sequel to The Restorer (previously reviewed here), second in The Sword of Lyric trilogy. My review is here.

I also read When Crickets Cry after I won it from Deena’s (thank you, Deena!) I haven’t reviewed it yet — I am still pondering it. The writing is excellent, the story is good, but there are a couple of odd situations or people that seemed out of sync to me.

Currently I am mostly through A Victorian Christmas Keepsake, a book of three short novellas. It was part of a set of book all with “Victorian Christmas” in the title that caught my eye at a yard sale because the lead writer in the set was Catherine Palmer, whose other novels I had very much enjoyed. Plus I am also reading Never Say Can’t by Jerry Ballard about Tom Willey. I had first read it maybe 20 years ago from a lending library kept by the ladies’ group of the church we attended then and it made a major impact on me. Mr. Willey didn’t have a lot of confidence and didn’t feel he was very gifted, nor was he very educated (he only had a third grade education when he applied for college: when asked how many credits he had, he told about how much money he had in the bank), but he determined that by God’s grace he would never say “I can’t” do something God wants done, and he was marvelously used of the Lord. The book is out of print, but I just recently found used copies at Amazon.com.

Katrina asks:

* Tell us how you did. Did you finish all the books you had on your original list? If not, why not? Did you get distracted by other books? Were you too busy to read as much as you would have liked? And if you did finish them all, did you read more?

Most of that is answered above book by book.

* Tell us what you thought.
What book did you like most? Least? Did you try a new author that you now love? Have you written off an author as “I’ll never read anything by him/her again!”?

I enjoyed Return to Me and The Parting a lot, but I think I benefited most (aside from Scripture directly, of course) from Spirit of the Rainforest. It touched me and instructed me in so many ways.

I don’t think I had read Lori Copland before, but I want to read more of her books.

* Tell us what you learned.
Maybe you learned something about yourself, your interests, your reading patterns. Maybe you learned that you love/hate a particular genre. Maybe you learned some fabulous little nugget of truth from one of the books you read. Whatever it is — please share!

I don’t think I learned anything new about my interests and reading patterns that I didn’t already know — I love Christian fiction and missionary stories and read every chance I get. I think I learn something — maybe not something new, but sometimes spiritual truths are reinforced — by most of the books I read. Probably out of this list, though, I was impacted again by the power of the gospel to change lives in Spirit of the Rainforest and by the people’s dismay at learning that some think they should be left alone in the jungles.

By the way, many participants posted reviews of the books they read for the challenge on a post of Katrina’s site here if you’d like some good book recommendations.

Whew!!

The Lord has really blessed — I got everything on my list from this post done plus got most of my shopping done and a handful of other errands. I found some really great deals — that I can’t tell about til after Christmas — the stores weren’t too crowded, people were pretty pleasant, and I got a special little project for my siblings done (actually Jeremy did most of it) — that I also can’t elaborate on til after Christmas.

I feel about like I’ve just run a marathon, though! After I wrap presents and kind of assess where I stand, I’ll see if I need to do any more shopping tomorrow. I do still need to make a pre-Christmas grocery store run, but I want to avoid other stores Saturday and Monday!! (We don’t usually shop on Sundays, anyway.)

Oh — and I need to do laundry and declutter in there somewhere.

My learning style seems to be “Do it wrong first and then you’ll see a better way.” I’ve been kicking myself for not getting some of this done earlier and I have seen ways I could do better next year. I am thankful the Lord is gracious and helps us and gives us strength.

It just might be worth putting your hands in someone’s mouth, then…

Last night at dinner we were discussing Jason’s wisdom tooth extraction (he’s doing great, by the way. Thanks to those who prayed!) Though technically the medical person involved was an oral surgeon, we tend to use “dentist” as a broad generic term for anyone who has a career involving teeth.

Jesse: Do you keep the teeth or does the dentist?

Jason: I think he just throws them away.

Jeremy: No, he keeps them all and puts them under his pillow and makes money that way.

Me: So that’s why people become dentists! I always wondered.

😀

An event-full week

My entry for BooMama‘s Christmas tours of homes is a few posts below — or you can click here. I have enjoyed the ones I have seen so far and have even found a couple of cute decorating ideas.

Last week we had something going on just about every night. Monday evening was our church ladies’ group Christmas party where we also revealed our Secret Sisters for the year — lots of fun! We have several places in the area that you can drive through all done up in holiday lights, so we chose one and went there Tuesday night. Jason’s girlfriend was here for a few days before going home for Christmas break, so it was especially fun to take her. The place we went was one of those drive-through zoo type places and at the end they had an area where you could get out and get refreshments or visit a petting area. Jesse got to feed a bottle to a baby goat.

Wed. night was regular prayer meeting; Thursday night was Jesse’s piano recital.
Jesse's piano recital

They have kids from early elementary age all through way through twelfth grade, so there is a variety of pieces and abilities. It’s an enjoyable time.

Friday night was the last night before Jason’s girlfriend left, so we all went out to eat at Red Lobster with gift cards just received from my stepfather. Then, they had been watching our DVDs of the Lord of the Rings films through the week, but we didn’t have the last one, The Return of the King. I had Jason get the extended version of it that day and we watched it that night (though I confess I dozed off a time or two — it’s very long!! We had seen the regular version before, so I knew what happened).

Saturday evening was our adult Sunday School class’s Christmas party. We didn’t make it to this last year — we tend to be homebodies anyway and had been out a lot with other activities and were just too tired. Plus the year before it was at this event that I received news that my mom had passed away, and I was a little too emotional to go and have those memories stirred up. I wasn’t feeling really excited about going this time for the same reasons, but I am glad we did — it was a lot of fun.

Last night was the Christmas cantata at church. It’s always enjoyable. This year we didn’t have any participants from our family: at various times in the past we’ve had one or two of us in choir, and a couple of times one of us (not me!!!) has had speaking parts. But this year we just observed and enjoyed. It was a cantata I had never heard before: with all new songs it is a little hard to take it all in, but there were some lovely pieces in it. It’s events like that that help us stop for a moment and reflect on what Christ did for us by coming to earth to live and then die for us. Not that we don’t do that at home or at other times, of course, but these events help keep us focused.

As I mentioned in the last post, Jason had two wisdom teeth out this morning. Everything went well and he’s asleep upstairs, getting up every now and then to change the gauze. On one side where the root was close to a nerve in the jaw, the doctor said he didn’t encounter it during the surgery, so it should be fine — he might have some tingling there. I’m off to get his antibiotics and pain medication in a little bit.

Tomorrow night is Jesse’s Christmas program at school, Thursday night he has a teen caroling party, and Friday night is Jeremy and Jason’s college and career class Christmas party. Friday is also our 28th wedding anniversary. ♥

After that we’re back to our regular life schedules except for Christmas and New Year’s and vacation days. :p But the special events will be over. Though sometimes all the activities do leave me exhausted (one year in the past we had kids in two recitals and two school Christmas programs in the same week!), this year I have been really enjoying them.

I spent a lot of last week getting most of the last of the missionary Christmas packages out. I still have a couple of stragglers — people who signed up to bring things but haven’t gotten them in. Thankfully these packages are going to folks in the States.

My goals for today:

1) Mail out one more package.

2) Look on my family’s Christmas lists to see if there is anything else I need to order and take care of that.

3) Edit our family Christmas letter and print it off. I finished it last night but wanted to let it sit overnight before reading over it one last time and tweaking anything necessary.

4) Print Christmas pictures.

Here’s the one I think I’ll be using for Christmas cards:
Christmas card picture
Jason’s in a bit of a shadow there, but in the ones where I used my flash, there’s a glare on Jeremy’s glasses.
This…is real life: 😀
Real life!

5) Work on getting Christmas cards ready. I say every year I am going to get that done earlier — I actually had most of the letter done Dec. 2 and the boxes of Christmas cards have been sitting here. But there have been other things going on…

6) When my family came up in October they brought a ton of pictures for us all to go through. We took some of the one-of-a-kind ones to scan and put on a CD. Jeremy has been scanning and editing them (and I am amazed at how much clearer he’s made many of them!) I’m going to work with him some time today to choose which ones to put on the CD (many are my baby pictures and I figure the rest of the family won’t be as interested in those. 🙂 ) and rename them so they know who the people are in some of the older pictures. Then hopefully we’ll get that CD made and I can get them ready to send out.

Then maybe I can get some Christmas shopping done….

Monday Morning Miseries….

Jason, my middle son, is having two wisdom teeth pulled tomorrow. Fun way to spend Christmas break, eh? We saw the oral surgeon last summer, and the x-rays showed the bottom two were coming in at an angle that would push the rest of his teeth in, and the roots of one were very near a nerve. He said we could wait til Christmas to have them pulled, but he wouldn’t advise waiting much longer.

He only has the bottom two — the x-rays showed no wisdom teeth at all on the top. So that’s good.

I’d appreciate your prayers that all will go well with no complications as he heals. He’s never been under anesthesia before. He usually handles physical problems, the few he’s had, very well.

I told him at least this will take his mind off the fact that his girlfriend is five states away for the rest of Christmas break…

I Hear Thy Welcome Voice

I hear Thy welcome voice
That calls me, Lord, to Thee,
For cleansing in Thy precious blood
That flowed on Calvary.

Refrain

I am coming Lord!
Coming now to Thee!
Wash me, cleanse me in the blood
That flowed on Calvary!

Though coming weak and vile,
Thou dost my strength assure;
Thou dost my vileness fully cleanse,
Till spotless all, and pure.

Refrain

’Tis Jesus calls me on
To perfect faith and love,
To perfect hope and peace and trust,
For earth and Heav’n above.

Refrain

All hail! atoning blood!
All hail! redeeming grace!
All hail! the gift of Christ our Lord,
Our Strength and Righteousness.

Refrain

~ By Lewis Hartsough

His Dear Wife

Several years ago I heard Claudia Barba speak at a ladies’ conference at a nearby town. Her husband had been a church planter and an evangelist and currently has a ministry helping church planters get their churches established. He had spoken at a missions conference at our church a few years earlier and his family was there: I may have met Claudia then, but I didn’t know she spoke to ladies groups and I didn’t know she was the sister of a college friend, who was the pastor’s wife at this church. You know how some people can speak and convict you and you feel like you’ve been beaten up, and others can speak and convict you and leave you feeling hopeful and encouraged and looking forward to what the Lord can do in and through you. Claudia is the latter kind of speaker. Her talks were practical and convicting and went right to the root of my selfishness, but they were tremendously encouraging as well. At that time she mentioned an e-mail list she had started called “Monday Morning Club.” It was primarily for minister’s wives, but was open to everyone, so I subscribed. I’ve been enjoying Claudia’s Word-based instruction and encouragement ever since. Later our own ladies group was blessed to have Claudia as a speaker at our spring Ladies’ Luncheon.

This particular “Monday Morning Club” e-mail has spoken to my heart again and again. Even though my husband is not a pastor, every Christian is a minister of the gospel in some way, and I found much to convict and inspire in this piece. I don’t know what brought it to mind again, but when I thought of it this morning I e-mailed Claudia to ask permission to publish it here, and she graciously gave it.

If you would be interested in receiving Claudia’s Monday Morning Club e-mails, you can e-mail her at cbarba@ipresson.com. The Barba’s web site is Press On! Ministries.

His Dear Wife

by Claudia Barba

It happened again recently. Sitting in church, I heard the pastor welcome us to the service: Dave Barba and his “dear wife.” I think that pastors use that phrase as a graceful way to introduce me when they have forgotten my name. But it always makes me want to laugh as I imagine my husband as a majestic buck in the deep woods, and me as the docile doe by his side. My son (Bambi, I guess) added to my amusement years ago when, during a similar introduction, he grinned at me and formed antlers with his fingers on his head.

This time, after my invisible (I hope) laughter, I began to think about that word—“dear.” It was okay to daydream; none of the pastor’s announcements applied to me.

“Dear” people are precious—beloved, highly esteemed, valuable, cherished, and treasured. I like to believe that that is how my husband thinks of me. But “dear” also has another definition, and I am sadly aware that sometimes that meaning can apply to me as well. “Dear” can mean expensive. A wife can be precious to her husband, or she can be costly to him.

On a literal plane, I can be a drain on his budget or a plug for it. When money is scarce, I have to make every dollar stretch a mile. I can do it cheerfully and creatively, or I can do it grudgingly. One attitude makes me precious to him; the other makes me just another burden—his doe spending his dough.

When he preaches, I can be his silent cheerleader. I can stay awake. I can nod and smile at him from the pew, listen and take notes. I can thank him for praying and preparing, and tell him how the Lord has used his sermons to help me. That makes me precious. On the other hand, criticizing or ignoring his preaching costs him dearly, for it damages his confidence in the pulpit.

When enemies attack our ministry, I can crumple, weep, and blame him for my pain. After all, if he would just be perfect like me and please everybody all the time, no one would criticize and life would be bliss! Or I can bravely and tearlessly remind him in our most painful times that the Lord is the One Whose approval we need. Pleasing everybody else, all the time, is impossible.

If he has worked hard for few visible results, I can “dearly” remind him of the laws of sowing and reaping. I can point him to the future, when God will reward his labor. Or I can drain his spirit by questioning if the ministry is really worth all the work.

When he gets discouraged, I can find ways to lift his heart: a picnic in the park or a love letter slipped into his briefcase. I can pass along compliments from others and promises from the Lord. I can be steady, patient, prayerful, and dear until he’s himself again. I can be his ladder for climbing out of the pit. Or I can jump in with him and then expect him to lift me out.

I can praise his leadership at home and his skill working with people. I can honor the hidden character and steadfastness that I know better than anyone else. I can point out the good I see in him. How precious it is for a man to know that his wife admires him! Or I can take the good for granted and focus on his flaws—costing his self-image dearly.

Someday (long before your funeral, I hope), your husband may say that you are a woman with a price “far above rubies.” That can be true because of your incredible value to him, or because of what it costs him to keep you around. I want to be precious, not expensive—don’t you?

dear-couple.jpg

Show and Tell Friday

show-and-tell.jpg Kelli at There’s No Place Like Home hosts “Show and Tell Friday” asking “Do you have a something special to share with us? It could be a trinket from grade school, a piece of jewelry, an antique find. Your show and tell can be old or new. Use your imagination and dig through those old boxes in your closet if you have to! Feel free to share pictures and if there’s a story behind your special something, that’s even better! If you would like to join in, all you have to do is post your “Show and Tell” on your blog, copy the post link, come over here and add it to Mr. Linky. Guidelines are here.“

You know how we get used to the things we have around us and don’t “see” them any more (which is probably why we like to rearrange them sometimes), and then one day something catches our eye and brings a smile. That happened this morning with this little figurine. Jesse bought it for me at the gift store at the camp he went to last summer.

From Jesse

When he first went to camp in about the 4th grade, he used some of the spending money we sent with him to buy something for each of us. I’m not sure why he thought of it: traditionally none of us brings back presents when we travel. But he’s continued to do that every year. This morning I “saw” this again and it reminded me of the love of a then 13, now 14 year old boy for his mom. I’m glad he’s not afraid to show it.

Holiday Home Party and Christmas Tour

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Karla at Karla’s Cottage is having a “What do you love about your holiday home?” party and BooMama is hosting a “Christmas tour of homes.” I’m using this same post for both events. 🙂 All of these have appeared on my blog before — I don’t think we have added anything new this year. Yet. 🙂

So come on in…

Snowman at door

Have a slice of Harvest Loaf Cake.

Harvest Loaf cake

Even though its name sounds fallish, we like to use it for the holidays. I don’t make it at Christmas because we have all those pies then, but usually some time in early December I make some for us and some for gifts.

 I am a Christian and believe Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Christ who came to die for our sins. I’ve been saying “Happy Holidays” for years, though, to include Christmas and New Year’s Day, so I am not trying to be “PC” by saying Happy Holidays. 🙂

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Decorations on the piano. I did the calligraphy about 20 years ago in an adult ed. class — but I haven’t done any calligraphy since then.

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My mom gave me this several years ago. I has a button in the back that you can push to hear Christmas music and watch the lights flash. The boys have loved this. Since my mom passed away almost exactly two years ago, these gifts from her are even more treasured.

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This is something else my mom sent: a Nativity musical figurine.

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This is one of my most special treasures, also from my mom. I collect Boyd’s Bear figurines, and somewhere she found this Christmas tree with little miniature scenes all though it.

Boyd's tree house

Here are a couple of close-ups:

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On the other end table are these snowpeople. I got the three snowboys because they reminded me of my three sons. ) Then the boys got each of the bigger snowmen in a crane game. So we put them all together as our family representatives. I should get a little feminine hat for one of the bigger ones to represent me.

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I have pastel colors and a lot of pink in my home. That’s a bit of a dilemma at Christmas with all the reds: some of my ornaments and things that were given to me have red in them. In recent years I’ve leaned toward the maroonish bluer reds and dark pinks that would go better with the rest of the decor. But, as I said in the earlier posts about ornaments, I want this all to be family-friendly more than “designer” decorating, so for the most part I just don’t worry about it. However, I was delighted to find this little snowman in my living room colors:

Snowman in my living room colors!

One of my favorite decorations is this little mouse. If you light the candle in the back it looks like a fire in the fireplace.

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Here is the fireplace in the family room with the stockings. I made the plaid ones after we were first married and a dear friend knit the others for each of the boys as a baby gift after they were born. The rest of this room is in blue, tan, and off-white, so the red doesn’t clash with pinks in here. )

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I need to redo the white fluffy parts on mine and my husband’s stockings and maybe appliqué something on them.

Here is our tree with a few favorite ornaments:

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These are some felts ones I made early on in our marriage, I think from a kit. I love the little sheep.

This is a Boyd’s Bear ornament my dear friend Carol gave me:

This is from a set of Victorian ornaments that I love which includes a ball and a teardrop shape with the same little flower cluster:

This is a nativity ornament which clips on to one of the light bulbs so it shines through. Someone gave this to someone else at a Secret Sister Christmas party at church, and I liked it so much I went out and bought one for us. ) I think it is the only Hallmark ornament we have.

This is one I made early on. It has about 1/3 of a toilet paper roll inside and is wrapped in a strip of red felt. White felt circles go over the ends and cross-stitch floss is used to sew the tops and bottoms on in that drum-like pattern. Then little strips of felt are rolled around the end of toothpicks for the drumsticks, and they are glued on. This is made to sit on a branch, but you could use the same floss to make a loop through the edge of the top white felt circle.

This is from a cute little felt snowman set I liked. I bought it rather than made it, but I made the little plastic canvas candy cane.

This one is special to me because it is one of the first ones I ever made. I found the little circle, stained it, found the little miniature tree, dipped the tips of its branches in glue and then it different colors of glitter, then glued it into the circle and added a gold thread loop.

This is one of our newer ones, bought last year at the Christian bookstore. Having all boys, I’ve loved cards and ornaments with little shepherd boys.

This is one of my two attempts at One Stroke painting.

 

This is one of several cross-stitch ornaments I made several years ago. I think these were the first things I cross-stitched. Sorry this one is a little blurry.

I made this ornament last year — after Christmas, actually — after seeing various button wreaths on a few blogs:

Ornament made with buttons

I realized afterward that the little Christmas tree is a charm rather than a button, but that’s ok. 🙂

Thanks for visiting! I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year.