Category Archives: Christian Life

Snowglobe thoughts

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snowman_c

(Picture courtesy of the morgue file.)

No, that title doesn’t mean it is snowing again. It means my thoughts are swirling around like a snowglobe. I often sort things out in the process of writing, but I have a to-do list longer than the day, so there’s not really time…plus I am really trying to avoid long, long, long posts, believe it or not. So I may just hit some highlights — or I may delete this if it is not making sense and come back when there is more time.

Our church is having revival services this week, and in preparation I began what I thought was going to be a word study on the topic in the Bible last week. But the concept is much broader than the verses that mention the word “revive” specifically. Really, the idea of searching our hearts and getting things right with the Lord is all throughout Scripture. So, though I started a post about it last weekend, I didn’t finish — it was just too big for a blog post.

But I’ve been thinking, usually the need for revival stems from one of two things. Either there is some kind of sin in the life that needs to be forsaken and confessed, or we’ve “left our first love” even though we’re doing all the right things:

Revelation 2:2 I know thy works, and thy labour, and thy patience, and how thou canst not bear them which are evil: and thou hast tried them which say they are apostles, and are not, and hast found them liars:

3 And hast borne, and hast patience, and for my name’s sake hast laboured, and hast not fainted.

4 Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love.

5 Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent.

In either case, the solution is the same: repentance.

If you’d like to study this out more, you can look for verses with the following words or phrases: revive, quicken, return (in Isaiah, Jeremiah, Revelation, and some other places), turn us again (you’ll have to filter out some usages of those words that aren’t talking about revival or coming back to the Lord specifically).

Then yesterday in a grand evidence of my own need for revival, I got colossally angry over a relatively small thing. There is not time to give a detailed account, but, no, it wasn’t with anyone in my family. It was at a store, and I was in the right, and I did something I don’t think I have done since childhood: I stormed off in obvious anger while the other person was talking. After a while I was smitten — I thought, what if that person happens to come to our revival services and sees me? I totally ruined my testimony — over $2.50 plus tax.

And this anger bubbling up, usually below the surface, has been happening all too often lately. So, I’ve been doing some confessing and going over Colossians 3, especially verses 8-17, and Ephesians 4:20-32.

And I was thinking, in the course of all that, how are you supposed to handle it when you are in the right? There is such a thing as righteous indignation. Many of the Scripture verses about anger refer to God’s anger, so anger in and of itself isn’t always a sin, though of course my reaction was a sinful one. Sometimes we are called on to suffer wrong or to overcome evil with good. As I was dressing and fixing my hair, I listened to the section of Jim Berg’s Quieting a Noisy Soul dealing with overcoming anger. He read the incident in Numbers 20:1-13 where the Israelites were without water and were complaining to Moses about it. Moses had just suffered the loss of his sister, Miriam, and the people were wrong in their attitudes and demeanor, but Moses reacted in a wrong way, striking the rock rather than speaking to it, and losing the opportunity to enter the promised land. People often say Moses was punished because he obscured the symbolism, but God says in this passage he was punished “Because ye believed me not, to sanctify me in the eyes of the children of Israel.” Berg brought out that unbelief was the source of his anger, and he sanctified something else rather than God. That’s what I did — I sanctified my “rightness” over “the principle of the thing” instead of God and His instructions to me about how to honor Him and conduct myself.

Then, looking unto Jesus as our example in all things, I thought how often He could have been frustrated when He walked the earth with all that was done wrong, yet He was longsuffering and gracious.

Later this morning as I was maiking breakfast, I was listening to the new CD by the Galkin Evangelistic team, Christ Only Always. The song “Come, Let Us Return to the Lord” really stood out to me last weekend, and then again this morning it was a balm to my heart. I’ll just include the chorus here:

Oh Come, let us return to the Lord.
Let our hearts yearn for the Lord.
Only His love will save us.
For though our lives are broken,
He will mend and restore hope again.
Let us return to the Lord.

(Words and music by Dick and Melodie Tunney)

Well — I’ve gone ahead and ended up with a long post, haven’t I? 🙂 It’s been a help to me. Hopefully it will be to someone else as well.

I’ll close with one of my favorite passages from my study last week:

Lamentations 3:40-41:
Let us search and try our ways, and turn again to the LORD.
Let us lift up our heart with our hands unto God in the heavens.

The Conversion of Adoniram Judson

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This is something I wrote for our ladies’ ministry booklet. I thought you might enjoy it, too.

I have been rereading To The Golden Shore by Courtney Anderson, a biography of Adoniram Judson, America’s first missionary. He has one of the most…I hate to use the word “thrilling” salvation stories, because every saved sinner’s story is thrilling, and a conversion isn’t more or less genuine based on the drama involved. However, the way the Lord brought this young man to Himself has me on the edge of my seat even though I know the story well. Plus, I have known people in much the same situation as Adoniram, and the obvious hand of God in his life gives hope and encouragement that He is at work drawing them as well, bringing them to the influences and people through whom He can work in their lives.

Adoniram had been raised in a strict Congregationalist pastor’s home in the late 1700s. There was never any indication that he didn’t believe: everything outwardly indicated his lifestyle was in line with what he had been taught all his life. When it was time for him to go to college, his father chose one where he was sure his son wouldn’t be led away from sound doctrine.

Adoniram had a brilliant mind which evidenced itself early in life and which God later used in translation work. He did excellently at college. He fell in with some friends who were Deists, who “rejected all revealed religion…. All the Deist admitted was the existence of a personal God.” They believed the Bible as well as other religions’ texts were only the work of men and that Jesus “was not the Son of God except in the sense that all men are” (p. 33. 38). One of his best friends who had much influence on him was free-thinking Jacob Eames.

When he graduated and came home, he felt he could not just quietly go along with the family’s beliefs and practices any more. He broke the news to his parents that he had chosen a different way. His father tried to reason with him. “Very shortly he realized with dismay that every argument he advanced was being met by two better ones. Not for nothing had Adoniram been valedictorian of his class. Exposing the fallacies of his father’s syllogisms was child’s play. Point by point, with crushing finality, he demolished every thesis his father set out to prove…So far as logics and evidence went, Mr. Judson had to concede…He still knew he was right, but he could not prove it” (p. 38). His mother’s tears seemingly had little effect, either.

Adoniram had decided he wanted to go into the theater and perhaps become a playwright, so he left home and made his way to New York.

He happened to arrive during a very quiet time for the theater, He couldn’t find work, and then when he did find a theater troupe that hired him, the morals of the group appalled him.

He left to travel some more and ended up at an uncle’s home during the time a visiting young preacher was filling in for him. He and this young man of God “spent several hours in conversation. Adoniram was struck by the fact that, although his host was as pious as his father, there was a warmth, ‘a solemn but gentle earnestness,’ in his speech which kindled an answering warmth in the heart. To be a devoted minister it was not necessary, it seemed, to be austere and dictatorial like the Reverend Mr. Judson. Adoniram rode away in the morning deeply impressed. …The young minister…would [not] experience the pain of Adoniram’s inner conflict. He was at peace with himself” (p. 42).

Later in Adoniram’s travels, he came to a country inn, looking for a room for the night. The only available room, the innkeeper explained apologetically, was next to a young man who was dying. Adoniram assured the innkeeper that was all right, but through the night, he heard the sounds from the next room, and his thoughts were greatly disturbed considering what might happen after death.

The next morning as Adoniram checked out, he asked about the young man and learned that he had indeed passed away. For some reason he asked the young man’s name, and was startled to hear it was Jacob Eames.

Adoniram was stunned. Though shocked and saddened at the loss of a dear friend , especially one so young, even more disturbing were the thoughts that his beliefs could possibly be wrong. Was his friend even now experiencing “the unimaginable torments of the flames of hell — any chance of remedy, of going back, of correcting, lost, eternally lost?” “For already, this moment, Eames knew his error — too late for repentance” (p.44).

He wasn’t converted immediately, but he did realize that no one but God could have orchestrated all of the events since he left home, that they weren’t mere coincidence: the unexpected conversation with young preacher, the failure and disappointment of his plans in New York, and his ending up in a room in an inn next door to his dying friend. He felt he must learn more.

He went home where, soon afterward, two leading Congregationalist pastors came to visit his father to discuss a new theological seminary. They spent several hours talking with Adoniram. He “made an instant impression on [them]. His personality was ingratiating, yet without false humility. His mind was of the finest order. He already knew more theology than many theological students. He was open to conviction. He understood that he must undergo inner regeneration before he could look forward to faith and personal salvation. But clearly this was not to be accomplished in a few hours of argument. The very qualities that made the boy so worth saving made him hard to save. Yet the visitors felt almost at once that if he could find conviction he could become a minister such as had not been seen since the days of Whitefield and Jonathan Edwards” (pp. 47-48).

Eventually “they suggested that Adoniram enroll in the new seminary, where he would have the materials he needed to study to make up his own mind, and the counsel of some of the best theologians in the country” (p. 48). He was enrolled “as a special student — not as a candidate for the ministry” (p. 48). He began his studies: “under Dr. Pearson, he began to read the sacred literature in the original [languages]. At the same time he began to thrash out his theological doubts with Professor Woods, who turned out to be fully his match as a dialectician” (pp. 49-50).

He “felt no blinding flash of insight,” but by November he “began to entertain a hope of having received the regenerating influences of the Holy Spirit,” and December 2 “made a solemn dedication of himself to God” (p. 50).

No one understands like Jesus

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Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.
Psalm 139:2

For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.
Hebrews 4:15-16

No one understands like Jesus.
He’s a friend beyond compare;
Meet Him at the throne of mercy;
He is waiting for you there.

No one understands like Jesus;
Ev’ry woe He sees and feels;
Tenderly He whispers comfort,
And the broken heart He heals.

No one understands like Jesus
When the foes of life assail;
You should never be discouraged;
Jesus cares and will not fail!

No one understands like Jesus
When you falter on the way;
Tho’ you fail Him, sadly fail Him,
He will pardon you today.

CHORUS:
No one understands like Jesus
When the days are dark and grim;
No one is so near, so dear as Jesus–
Cast your ev’ry care on Him!

Words and music by John W. Peterson. The story behind the hymn here.

Trust in God, My Soul

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I was listening to the Depths of Mercy CD from Soundforth this morning and was blessed especially by this song:

Trust in God, My Soul

Words by Frances Havergal and David Burke

Oh, Lord, I trust Your grace; it is enough, enough for me.
In every trial I shall trace its all-sufficiency.

And, Lord, I trust Your strength; in You alone I shall be strong:
My failing flesh will learn at length a daily triumph song.

Oh, trust in God, my soul, and look into His face.
Oh, trust in God, my soul; His holy will embrace.
Then I shall stand complete and whole, a trophy of His grace
As I trust God.

Oh, Lord, I trust Your Word; it gives me hope and light to see.
The path ahead, though now obscured, will open wide for me.

Oh, Lord, I trust Your love; I feel its warm and changeless glow;
My life or death shall only prove its everlasting flow.

Oh, trust in God, my soul, and look into His face.
Oh, trust in God, my soul; His holy will embrace.
Then I shall stand complete and whole, a trophy of His grace
As I trust God.

Book Review: Falling For You Again

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falling Falling For You Again is the third in the Four Seasons series by Catherine Palmer and Gary Chapman implementing Chapman’s teaching about seasons in marriage. I reviewed the first in the series, It Happens Every Spring, here, and the second, Summer Breeze, here.

Though all of the previous couples are mentioned, this book focuses on Charlie and Esther Moore, the “older couple” of the community, married nearly fifty years. Esther begins having memory problems and doing odd things, like driving the wrong way off the carport and putting the electric can opener in the dishwasher. Esther goes through depression, then denial, then fear and refusal to have the recommended treatment all the while becoming more irritable and confused. Though the Moores are looked up to as a stable example of marriage, they still have unresolved issues and everyday irritations that challenge both of them.

As they work through their problems, Charlie finds himself helping young, brash Brad Haynes on a housing project, alternately wanting to help and be an example to him and getting frustrated with Brad’s view of his own marriage and his seeming unwillingness to put any effort into it.

This book effectively and realistically dealt with different personalities, viewpoints, needs, and love languages in marriage. The Moore’s story is sweet but sad as they work through their challenges and focus on the good things and the underlying love they have for each other.

(This review will be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books, a great place to skim through reviews of titles you might be interested in.)

Repost: When afraid to surrender

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This was originally posted August 15, 2006. I am reposting it today because I needed to go over these thoughts again. I couldn’t sing “I Surrender All” last night in church — there was just a hesitancy to once again declare a relinquishment of everything, even though I have before.

Sometimes we wrestle with the thought, “If I really surrender all to God, what will He do to me?” Even if we have made that surrender before, that thought can come at odd moments. After all, Joni Eareckson Tada was paralyzed as a teen-ager and has been in a wheelchair for, I think, 30-some years. Elisabeth Elliot lost not one, but two husbands. A dear professor at BJU has had Lou Gehrig’s disease for 20 years before passing away. The apostle Paul’s ministry was certainly not all roses ands sunshine.….our minds can go on and on with other examples we know.

There have been whole books written about reasons for suffering, and we hear testimonies of God’s grace through those times. Yet that lurking fear or reluctance can still snake into our thoughts.

As I was pondering these things this morning, the thought came, “What’s the alternative, really?” Suffering will come to most of us in some form or another. We live in a fallen world and deal with its effects; we’re not in heaven yet, where there are no tears, sorrow, pain. We’re not going to stop these things from coming into our lives if we don’t surrender to God. We can’t somehow insulate ourselves or protect ourselves from any pain or trial.

But if we are the Lord’s, we can trust that He has a purpose in what He has allowed. We can trust Him for His presence, peace, grace, and help. If we’re surrendered to Him, we can face these things in a way that we can’t otherwise.

One comment that stayed with me from a forgotten article about a trial a lady faced was this: “I was glad, when this happened, that He was not a stranger to me.” It’s certainly better to face a trial with Him rather than apart from Him. Sometimes He does work through the trials of life to bring people to Himself from their position as a stranger to Him, or to bring His children back from a backslidden position, or draw His children closer. But after that, we can “glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us” (Romans 5:3-5).

We need not hold back our wills from the Lord for fear of what might happen. It’s futile to do so, really. But even aside from that, we can face whatever He sees fit to allow into our lives knowing that He will work all things together for good to them that love God (Romans 8:2) and by relying on His promises:

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness (Isaiah 41:10).
Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need (Hebrews 4:16).

Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (II Corinthians 12:8-10).

As I was going over this again, I thought sometimes the issue isn’t so much what He might do to me, but what He might ask me to give up. But, really, is anything worth holding onto if He wants us to relinquish it? When this life is over and we get to eternity, will we look back with regret over the petty things we let keep us from being fully and completely yielded?

Things to be left behind

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From the January 15 reading of Our Daily Walk by F. B. Meyer:

“Lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus.”– Heb 12:1-2.

LEAVE BEHIND your past sins. They have been many and great, more than you can count. But if you have confessed and forsaken them, they have been put away, “as far as the east is from the west.'” Nothing could be more explicit than 1Jo 1:9. It is useless to brood over the past. God has buried it in the grave of Christ. Go and sin no more!

Leave behind your bad habits that encumber you (R.V. marg.). You know what they are, and how they cling–ill-temper, jealousy, pride, evil-speaking, and many another! You have fallen again and again, overtaken by them, tripped up, your robes stained and torn. There should be some finality in your life, a mark on the grass from which you start to run the race. The command to put off the old man is in the definite tense (Col 3:8-9). It be-speaks one sudden strong act of the will, God-nerved and God-empowered. This, then, is the hour when you must strike for liberty “Ye have died, and your life is hid with Christ in God.”

Leave behind your accomplished ideals. They were once far in front and above you. As you climbed they seemed almost inaccessible, and mocking voices rang out their defiance of your attempt. But by the grace of God things that once you dreamt of are now realised, and you are sitting on the peak that once seemed to laugh you to scorn. But you must leave it behind! Look up! look forward! Are there not fresh ideals calling to you? Leave behind your attainments and strike your tents. One battle is fought, but a yet stronger foe bars the way immediately in front. It is suicidal to rest on your oars; to do so will expose you to the inevitable backward drift.

The best way to leave behind is to press forward. The Spirit of God bids us “run with patience the race set before us, looking unto Jesus.” He is our Forerunner, always before us, always leading us on. His crest, like the plume of Henry of Navarre, is always in the very thick of the fight. Let the soul follow hard after Him, and it will become almost oblivious to what it leaves behind. The boy who is running for the goal, in his eagerness to win the prize, strips himself of one and another article of clothing. He will not count their worth, so long as he may win the prize. So run that ye may attain! Apprehend that for which you were apprehended! Lay hold on the outstretched crown of life!

PRAYER

Most gracious God, quicken me by Thy Holy Spirit, that I may run in the way Thou hast marked out for me. May I ever be kept looking off unto Jesus. AMEN.

Book Review: What Women Wish You Knew About Dating

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what-women-wish-you-knew-about-datingSome months ago I saw What Women Wish You Knew About Dating: A Single Guy’s Guide to Romantic Relationships by Stephen W. Simpson mentioned on a couple of blogs with, if I remember correctly, the first chapter included on one. Having two sons of dating age and one approaching it in a few years, I thought this might be a good resource, so I wanted to check it out first.

I’m more conflicted about this book than any other in recent memory.

There is a lot I like about it. I agree with a lot of the actual dating advice: getting to know the other person in group situations before asking them out, tips for actually asking them plus suggestions for the first couple of dates, being a man rather than “a guy,” being assertive without being overbearing, taking the lead without being controlling, differences between being authentic (not putting on a false front to impress people) yet not being blunt, working on your life before asking anyone out, signals that she is not interested, understanding that no other person can take God’s place in your life and no one else is responsible for your self-esteem.

But I do have several problems with the book as well.

1. In a discussion of places to meet women and the advantages and disadvantages of each, bars are listed as a possibility. I don’t know why a Christian writer writing to Christians would even list bars and nightclubs: the author does discuss the potential problems of such a setting, and with all the caveats mentioned, any thinking young person would deduce that bars are not really options. To give the author the benefit of the doubt, perhaps that is exactly what he was trying to do: help the reader see the problems without outright saying, “DON’T go to these places,” knowing that that in itself would cause some to seek them out; or perhaps he was thinking of a wider audience who might already have some experience in such places, and he was trying to help them see they were the least attractive options. But I can just picture some people thinking that, because it is listed, and he didn’t say not to consider them, then they’re plausible options: He does say, “This is not to say that bars and nightclubs are evil (though some are close). You can have fun as long as you pay attention to the fun you’re having” (p. 87). As the daughter of an alcoholic and therefore, I am sad to admit, having spent some time in those places growing up, they are really no place for Christians.

2. Drinking alcohol is mentioned here and there as a natural thing that Christians might be doing. If you have a young person old enough to consider dating, you’ve probably already had discussions about your standards on this issue — if not, you should. But with this consideration and the first one, you’d really need to take into account how your young person might respond. (I’m thinking about another post with my own thoughts on this subject, but let me just say for now that though personally I don’t believe in social drinking, I don’t toss a book out just because it might be mentioned, but a book made up of advice for primarily young adults is one where I would be wary of the subject.)

3. I’ve lamented before that reverence seems to be a lost commodity in a lot of Christian literature. Jesus is a “friend who sticks closer than a brother” and was called “a friend of sinners,” but he’s not a buddy. There is a difference. But there is that overly-familiar, irreverent tone towards the Lord in the book, such as “God will never leave you. And He’s a great guy to have around” and our being “lucky to have Him around” (pp. 200-204). I don’t think we have to address Him as “Thou” and speak in King James English to and about him, but to hear the Creator, the Lord of glory being spoken of casually as “a great guy to have around” does just rub me the wrong way.

4. Simpson advocates waiting until the third date to kiss, and that’s with the understanding that the young man has gotten to know the young woman well before he even asked her out: he even advocates it because otherwise “she’ll think you don’t like her” (p. 158). He does advocate waiting until there is some level of commitment and avoiding physical contact on a casual date. Personally I would advocate waiting much longer for that kind of physical contact until there is much more of an understanding and commitment. He also “oks” brief hugs on the first date, but with the increased amount of body contact involved in hugging, I’d hold off on that, too. He also lists “cuddling while sitting up” as an “appropriate physical behavior” for those in “committed relationships” (p. 188). I would be very cautious about that, because, honestly, that’s where a lot of problems start. Parents need to have discussions on this topic with their young people, and seriously dating young people need to discuss it with each other, but one of the things we have told our boys is not to linger with a kiss or hug. Cuddling on the couch while watching a movie is inherently lingering and is especially dangerous if the couple is alone.

Then I have some other areas of disagreement though I wouldn’t call these major problems:

1. The overall tone of the book is more like an older friend or brother coming alongside and giving friendly advice rather than an authority figure giving lists of dos and don’ts, which I think would go over much better with the intended audience. Either the tone or the author’s personal style leans towards a casualness which overall is fine and fitting, (except in reference to God as mentioned above), but here and there it makes me wince, as when, in discussing several Biblical character’s accomplishments, he describes Paul’s trials as going “through a bunch of crap” (p. 37). (I’ve written before how I feel about that word.)

2. He lists as a “myth” the idea that God has one person picked out to be your spouse and that He will guide you to that person. I disagree that that’s a myth — I think God does guide us to the right person — but I do agree probably too many Christians take that to mean there will be some “sign” or that it won’t take personal effort on their part. I think it is like anything else in the Christian life — we don’t always know exactly what is “our part” and “His part,” but they work together: as we walk with Him each day, seeking His direction, He leads and guides, but it doesn’t mean we sit idly by. Dr. Bob Jones, Jr. used to say something like “God will help you with your responsibilities if you ask Him, but He’s not going to do your math homework for you.” He does guide and direct and help, but we have our responsibilities as well, and often He directs through what He guides and helps us to do.

3. For those who believe in courtship over dating, Simpson does not, so if you have strong views you’d want to preview his book before passing it on . I am not one who believes “courtship” is the only option for Christians, nevertheless I do share the concerns some of these folks have. For those who have no idea what I am talking about, there is a growing segment who believes that dating as we know it in this era is wrong for several reasons and that we need to go back to the practice of courtship, where young people don’t date widely and generally, but that a young man comes “calling” on a young lady when he is ready to pursue that relationship through to marriage (unless they discover along the way some reason not to marry), and the girl’s father has to give his permission for this step. There are various levels of belief in regard to courtship, some very rigid and extreme. Perhaps that would be a subject for another post, but the major point I disagreed with Simpson on was a quote from Henry Cloud and John Townsend in Boundaries In Dating that “fear of rejection has spawned the anti-dating movement in the church.” I don’t believe that was the primary factor, if it was a factor at all: rather, I believe it was concern that, 1) the date, form an exclusive relationship with, then break up cycle occurring over and over wasn’t good training for marriage; 2) that these young people who were going together were emotionally married even without being physically and financially married and this wasn’t healthy but rather too intense for this stage of their relationship; 3) that this kind of dating put more temptation and pressure on the young people to get involved physically.

Favorite quotes from the book:

“That’s why this poor girl whom I hardly knew was carrying the weight of my self-worth. It was never hers to bear in the first place” (p. 12, emphasis mine.) (That would solve so many problems if we would realize our self-worth isn’t any one else’s weight to bear.)

“When he’s competing, his goal is to challenge himself instead of humiliating others” (p. 29).

“Confidence is not being cocky and loud. It’s not a personality style. Confidence means trusting that you are God’s unique and important creation” (p. 28).

“You need a reason for getting out of bed in the morning other than finding Miss Right. You need to focus on Mr. Right Now” (p. 36).

“”Being yourself’ isn’t the same as hurling forth every thought without hitting the censor button. It means that you can express yourself while caring enough about someone not to offend them if you can avoid it” (p. 65).

In conclusion, if you have a young adult in your home or under your influence, and you’d like to give them a book about dating, or you are a young person interested in the subject, you would have to evaluate this book (and any other) in light of your beliefs and convictions. I am still undecided about whether to pass it on to my sons or not.

Related posts:

What women want…in a Christian man

Christmasy links

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Nannykim suggested I post some pictures of the “misfit ornaments” I mentioned the other day. I would so love to do that! I think it would be a lot of fun, and I’m in the mood for it. I’d love to do that today — but I must exercise self-disciple and get some things done. I’m kicking myself not so much because I am running behind, but because it is my own fault. So I am thinking maybe Saturday — though weekends are usually low blog-reading days for many — maybe early next week. If WordPress would support Mr. Linky I’d even think about setting it up where others could post links (but then that would be assuming that other people save their misfit ornaments like we do!)

This is a busy week — ladies’ group party was Monday (fun!), Jesse’s first basketball game was Tuesday (more on that tomorrow, hopefully), prayer meeting at church last night, Jesse’s piano recital tonight, then another basketball game tomorrow night. Plus some of my stuff to do from last week didn’t get finished then. So it’s been “lite” posting this week, though there have been some deep thoughts along the way. 🙂

During the Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons, my blog stats go way up because of several things I posted my first year of blogging. I had a lot of poems, quotes, etc. gleaned from several years of compiling our ladies ministry newsletter, and evidently people do a lot of searching for that kind of thing this time of year! I didn’t know some of you then, and I didn’t want to repost them but thought I’d post the links if any of you has time and inclination to look around. I’ll post some of my links first and then some other links around the blogosphere that have caught my eye recently.

My Christmas links:

Christmas links I have seen elsewhere lately:

One word about Christmas crafts: I see all these cute ideas during during December bur don’t have time to try them then. So the past few years I have made some in the week or two after Christmas. I’m still in the mood and the stores still have some Christmas supplies (though you could get the supplies earlier, if you’re afraid they’ll run out, and just make them when you can).

Happy reading!

Frustrations and forbearance

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  • You know how it is when you’re going to pass someone you know on the sidewalk. You look away, you look around, you look at the person to see if they’re looking your way, and when at some point your eyes meet, you smile and say hello (or am I the only one who does that? It seems most people do the same thing from my observation.) Last night I was about to pass a man I know on the sidewalk, all ready to say a friendly hello, and he walked right by me staring straight ahead. This happens every time we happen to pass each other. The only time he ever looks at me or speaks to me is when he has to, on business with the groups we’re both involved in, and he seems friendly enough then. I have heard he is really shy, but I’ve often wondered if he actively dislikes me for some reason. I don’t mind not being close personal friends with everyone I know — that’s just not possible for any of us — but if someone seems to dislike you, you can’t help but wonder why and feel bad about it. And in a situation where it feels like you’ve been snubbed, it does hurt a little, even if you tell yourself the other person is shy, maybe didn’t see you, certainly didn’t mean anything by it, etc.
  • A woman I know seems to dwell under an emotional dark cloud all the time. Almost every situation and many an innocent remark is turned to mean something negative against herself. Almost every event she’s involved with at some point will have some kind of drama and crisis and hurt feelings. She doesn’t practice Proverbs 18:24a (“A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly”) yet feels that no one is friendly to her.
  • A man takes a strong and good stand on the side of righteousness, yet even little points where there is room for differences are treated like hills to die on, and any difference from his own view on anything is treated with disdain and condescension. After just reading this morning from Ephesians 4:1-3 (“I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called, With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”) I saw an incident between him and another totally lacking in humility, longuffering, forbearance, or grace.

These are all people I’ve known for years (none of them reads my blog, yet I’ve been purposefully vague “just in case”) and with whom a “situation” has arisen within just the last 24 hours, leaving me feeling down and frustrated. The last two did not affect me directly this time, yet seeing the same reactions yet again have stirred up the frustrations of my whole history with them.

The common thread with each situation is that there is nothing I can do about it, except in the first situation I can extend myself and be friendly even if it is not reciprocated. I’m not a confrontational person, even when I should be, but a part of me wants to take each one by the shoulders and say, “Do you realize how you’re coming across?!” I don’t think it is my place to correct the men (the last one does not receive correction from anyone anyway), and the woman would only feel persecuted and misunderstood (I used to think she just needed someone to listen to her and sympathize with her, but that doesn’t work).

I can pray, of course. Not the complaining type of prayer (“Lord, would you please speak to so-and-so about this…”). But the type of prayer Paul prayed in Ephesians 3:

14 For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,

15 Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,

16 That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man;

17 That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,

18 May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;

19 And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.

20 Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,

21 Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.

The goal isn’t for so-and-so to get whatever problem they have fixed (so that it doesn’t rub me the wrong way any more — an entirely self-centered focus), but rather that “we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ” (Ephesians 4:13).

I can exercise forbearance in love as mentioned earlier in Ephesians 4:2. One former pastor used to call forbearance “just good old-fashioned putting up with one another.” And we’re not just to “grin and bear it”: we’re to forbear one another in love. We’re all going to have our faults and failings until we get to heaven and if we don’t know how to interact with love and forbearance and grace, we’re all going to be pretty miserable…not to mention a poor testimony to others. We’re commanded to love others as Christ loved us, and He loved us “while we were yet sinners.”

And I can remember, work on, and pray over my own faults. I have plenty to deal with without worrying about anyone else’s. There’s probably something I do or don’t do that sets someone else to stewing sometimes.

I am sorely tempted to delete this, now that I’ve gotten it out of my system. But I think I’ll leave it, for now at least. All is not always rosy here in the land of Stray Thoughts, and I want to “keep it real,” as they say. And we all have to deal with this type of thing, so maybe my reasoning with myself here will be a help to someone else.