Happy Birthday to Jesse!

Jesse turns 16 today!!

Jesse was our little “surprise,” but, once we got used to the idea, a pleasant one. I can’t imagine our family without him.

He was 12 lbs when he was born. He was born in a women’s hospital, which usually only had newborn babies around, and someone from the hospital had to go out and buy diapers because the newborn ones wouldn’t fit.

Expecting Jesse

Newborn Jesse

We knew he was big, but he surprised us all! I don’t know why — no gestational diabetes, and that pregnancy I had the most moderate weight gain of the three. And now he’s the skinniest of the bunch.

He’s always been a pretty cheerful guy, easy to get along with, quick to bounce back, makes friends easily, can talk with about anyone, and a pretty good worker once he gets going.
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Jesse in park 2

He likes to get in weird positions. I call these “pretzael mode” and “vulture mode.”

Jesse in pretzel mode

Doing Homework

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Happy Birthday, Jesse!

May you always be cheerful, helpful, kind, loving, interested in others, and may you always love the Lord with all your heart and walk closely with Him.

From the worldling’s hollow gladness

In the “one thought leads to another and I don’t know how I got here” department, I found myself thinking this morning about an incident in the junior-high years of one of my sons. Junior high is probably not anyone’s best time of life, but some people have a harder time of it. One of my sons got into trouble one day for using a phrase that had a “dirty” meaning. Fortunately the principal believed him when he said he didn’t know what it meant, that he just said it because other kids were saying it. (We had been here a little over a year and he hadn’t really made friends yet and was trying to “fit in.” I think we must’ve talked to him about not saying or doing wrong things to fit it and not trying to fit in with the wrong crowd — and yes, sadly, there is a wrong crowd even in Christian schools. I know we talked to him about not using phrases when you don’t know what they mean.) Oddly, neither the teacher nor the principal nor my husband nor I knew what the phrase meant. None of us had ever heard it before. Discreetly my husband asked someone he worked with, and we were shocked that such an innocent expression had such a meaning. It’s amazing to me how people can dirtify words with double entendre. It reminds me of Titus 1:15: “Unto the pure all things are pure: but unto them that are defiled and unbelieving is nothing pure; but even their mind and conscience is defiled.”

When my son was in the tenth grade, an evangelist came to their school under whose ministry he was saved. He had made a profession before and had seemed to understand, but we were happy for him to have the matter settled in his own heart. We weren’t about to tell him, “No, no, you were saved as a little child. Don’t you remember?” I had had enough struggles with assurance on my own that I would never say that to anyone wrestling with whether they had really believed on the Lord. And that was a changing point in his life. A generally resistant spirit was gone and he began taking real and observable steps in his walk with God.

Some years later I found an essay in that son’s school folder that he had written for Bible class. I don’t remember what the main topic of the essay was, but in it my son described how in his junior high years he was actually in the wrong crowd, whereas I had thought he had merely had a brush with them. It wasn’t widely known what kinds of things these kids talked about because they were wise enough to keep their conversation generally clean around teachers and other students. But, my son went on to write, in the intervening years, every guy in that group had either gotten right with God or left the school.

I was surprised, frightened, and saddened that these things had gone on under my nose without my having a clue, or missing the clues I did have. But then my heart was so warmed and I was so grateful that God was watching out for my boy in those situations and brought him out and turned his life around. When I think of how easily he could have gone the other way…well, I just can’t think about that too long. And to see his growth and to see him now as a young man seeking to walk with the Lord, and to have an openness between us that was absent those years ago — my heart overflows.

I don’t know why this came to mind this morning or why I felt strongly led to share it. Perhaps another parent can use the encouragement. We do need to “be sober, be vigilant; because your [and their] adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:  Whom resist stedfast in the faith” (I Peter 5:8-9). We can’t afford to be lax, but then again we can’t be neurotically overzealous to the point of driving them away. And at some point in their lives they will spend time away from us. We can trust God for wisdom and balance in raising them and trust Him to see and deal with what we don’t see. He cares for them even more than we do and wants what is best for them infinitely more.

I posted this poem, written by Amy Carmichael for the children under her care, a couple of years ago, but it is one that I come back to often and that echoes my own heart’s desire for my children as well as other children I know:

Father, hear us, we are praying,
Hear the words our hearts are saying,
We are praying for our children.

Keep them from the powers of evil,
From the secret, hidden peril,
Father, hear us for our children.

From the whirlpool that would suck them,
From the treacherous quicksand, pluck them,
Father, hear us for our children.

From the worldling’s hollow gladness,
From the sting of faithless sadness,
Father. Father, keep our children

Through life’s troubled waters steer them,
Through life’s bitter battle cheer them,
Father, Father, be thou near them.

Read the language of our longing,
Read the wordless pleading thronging,
Holy Father, for our children.

And wherever they may bide,
Lead them home at eventide.

Friday’s Fave Five

friday-fave-five-springSusanne at Living to Tell the Story hosts a “Friday Fave Five” in which we share our five favorite things from the past week. Click on the button to read more of the details, and you can visit Susanne to see the list of others’ favorites or to join in.

1. My Birthday Lunch. I mentioned my birthday last week — but right at the beginning of it, so we hadn’t really celebrated it. Our custom is to let the birthday honoree chose a place or a special dish for dinner. We chose to go out for lunch this time because Jason had to work that evening, so we went to Fatz’s.

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2. My birthday cake. I LOVE Texas Sheet Cake but for some reason just never made one — we pretty much have cake only around birthdays. But Jeremy made one for my birthday!

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3. Pink office supplies. I don’t know why — they just make me happy. 🙂

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4. Storage units for my craft/sewing/guest room.

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5. New books!

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Thank you to my family for all you did to make it a great day for me!

Bonus:

I mentioned it yesterday, but our church held a nice reception for Jason and Mittu Sunday night.

And we don’t have the wedding pictures yet, but we did get this one:

Jason and Mittu Wedding Day kiss

I can’t wait to see the rest!!

Happy Friday!

Back to the routine…almost

So I have been a mother-in-law one whole week already. So far, so good. 🙂 It seems unreal that Jason has been married a week now.

There has been an odd sensation of waiting for him to come home, in the evenings, especially. Always before when he was out with Mittu he came home at night, so Mama Hen didn’t go to bed til everyone was back home and doors were locked for the night. The first few nights there was just this odd sensation of waiting for him and of course realizing he has a new home now. There have been a few pangs of missing him, but mostly there has been joy for the both of them. I’m just glad they’re living close by. I do feel bad for Mittu’s mom — the only time I “lost it” during the wedding reception was when she said she was alone now and started crying — then I started crying as we hugged each other. She does have a wonderful church family and a number of Indian friends and family, so she’s not totally alone, but it’s not quite the same. We Moms know the day is coming when we send our little chickadees out of the nest on their own, and we know that’s how it is supposed to be, but it is still an adjustment.

Since he is our first child to be married and since we never lived near either set of parents, this is new territory for us. We want them to feel generally free to come over any time but don’t want them to feel obligated. I hope we can continue our Sunday dinners together with them and Grandma, but we’ll understand, especially as they start a new Sunday School class for young marrieds and make friends there, that they might want to get together with others some times. And, of course, they will just want to be alone together some times.

It will probably take us a while to settle into new rhythm of a new normal. But they’ve had fun this week setting up housekeeping and we’ve had fun vicariously as they did.

This week Jason reluctantly has to go back to work. He’s wishing they could follow the Old Testament injunction that a husband not “be charged with any business” for the first year of marriage (We know a couple who actually did that: they went camping for their whole first year of marriage.)

Jim heads back to his first full week back as well, and Jesse starts school Friday. Odd, I know, to start on a Friday, but it is just a half-day run-through so they have their books and know their places and can start in full-fledged the next Monday.

I have mixed emotions about school starting. I love the laid-back pace of summer and hate the thought of the regular weekly/monthly schedule getting full again. But I am about ready to get back into a routine, and I’ll love getting my seven hours of quiet back. 🙂

Quilly mentioned the other day that I’ve had a lot of life events going on; Jason’s birthday, then an out-of-town trip and his wedding, then Jeremy’s birthday. We have more to come with getting ready for school and then my birthday coming up on Friday, then we have a bit of a respite til Jesse’s in September. I call mid-July through mid-September our birthday season as all of us except Jim, and now Mittu, have our birthdays in that time period. Then our church is having a reception for Jason and Mittu Sunday night.

We got Jesse’s school supplies set: now one day this week I need to take him over to the uniform store to get new pants — 45 or so minutes away, unfortunately.  His shirts fit, but his legs keep growing. 😀 I was supposed to take him for his driver’s test and to get his eyes and mine checked during the summer. I may try to squeeze those in this week.

I start the week with a dentist’s visit for a cleaning — no fun! Hopefully it will just be a cleaning and they won’t find anything that needs work. Then amidst the getting-ready-for school activities I am hoping to get a start on my sewing/craft/guest room. A few times over the summer I was itching to get some of those things organized but kept telling myself I may as well wait til I got ready to move it all into the new room. I’m searching for a work table, a white bookcase, and trying to decide on a futon, daybed, or sofa-sleeper for a place to sit and for overnight guests to sleep. My preference would be for the sofa-sleeper….but that is, I think, the most expensive option and may not be plausible.

And I have three book reviews I agreed to do, besides the ones I do just for fun  — I’ve read one of the books, one is waiting for me, and one should be coming soon. And there is my lingering list of things to do…like those curtains I still haven’t gotten to…

So it looks like I have plenty to do to keep busy in the next several days!

Happy Birthday to Jeremy!

Today was Jeremy’s 25th birthday!

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Have I really been a mom for a quarter of a century now?

I love and appreciate my first-born: he survived our first-time-parent mistakes with grace, is always ready to help, has a dry sense of humor, is quick to want to get things right again when there has been any kind of rift. He has a good mind which I hope and pray he will always use as unto the Lord.

Thou therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. II Timothy 2:1.

Happy Birthday, Jeremy!
Love you, hon!

A few pictures from the wedding festivities

I mentioned in my description of the wedding that we didn’t get pictures of the bride in her dress or the ceremony — I was in the front row and didn’t want to be disruptive (plus I just wanted to take it all in), and when they were taking the offical photos afterward we were visiting with my family that had come in. We’d only gotten to give them a hug and say hello in passing until that point. We’re looking forward to getting the official photos hopefully soon.

But we got a few of various things.

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This was the temporary hand tattoos made from henna that I mentioned.

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The beginning of the tumeric paste and rice ceremony the night before the wedding.

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The end result.

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Jason getting help getting gunk out of his hair.

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Mittu after a shower to get all the stuff off. Isn’t she lovely? 🙂 They said in India they do the rice and tumeric thing seven days in a a row.

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The front of the church.

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My dress didn’t have any pink in it, but I think adjusting the lighting so it could be seen clearly affected the color.

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Mother of the Groom. 🙂

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The musicians did a great job. Saris everywhere provided a lot of beautiful color.

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The bridesmaids. All of our pictures of the groomsmen were blurry, sadly, but they wore black suits and white shirts.

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Mittu changed into this outfit for the reception made from the same fabric as the bridesmaids’ saris. These are longtime dear friends of her family – we really enjoyed getting to know them. Sweet people.

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Exiting amidst bubbles.

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The decoy get-away car — this was actually the best man’s car. He drove them around to theirs decorated like this:

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I hope to have pictures of the main event soon!!

The Wedding

I’m baa-acck!

This past Saturday was Jason and Mittu’s wedding! I would have loved to have blogged about it along the way or at least mentioned the date ahead of time, but I have this phobia of some cyber-stalker figuring out that I’m away from home and looting the house while I’m gone, so I didn’t want to mention being away. I had planned to blog a little every day, but the last few days it just wasn’t possible.

So, last Tuesday Jim, Jeremy, and Jesse took off to OK in the car pulling a trailer with which to bring back some of Mittu’s furniture and wedding gifts, etc. We had planned to rent a U-Haul there, but U-haul won’t rent to folks with Ford Explorers due to a lawsuit some time ago. 🙄 Jason and I flew out Wed. morning. Originally Jason was flying out so he could get there earlier to get things done for the wedding, then Jim saw that the one-way flights weren’t that terribly expensive, so he offered to let me fly with Jason. That flight and trip was probably the smoothest, most problem free I have ever experienced. That spared me the long car drive and them from having to stop quite so often. They ended up not stopping overnight as planned — just pulled into a rest stop for a couple of hours — so we ended up all getting there close to the same time.

From Wed. through Sat. was filled with getting things done for the wedding and meeting people. I was especially impressed with some of the ladies from Mittu’s church — they were there lending a hand at just about every phase. Meeting people is not my best thing, though God has helped me with that over the years, and there was just one point when it seemed overwhelming and I wished for a quiet spot alone, but that coincided with a bit of tummy trouble which may have had a lot to do with those feelings. Much of Mittu’s extended family  flew in and overall they were very kind.

There were a couple of Indian rituals along the way. One was what they called Mehndi which involved temporary painted tattoos made from henna on the hands of the female wedding party attendants. All of the immediate family is Christian rather than Hindu so none of these things were done with Hindu rites in mind.  Just out of interest I asked the lady doing it if there was any symbolism or history to it — but it seemed to be “just one of those things Indians do” and was meant to be ornamental in itself and the process almost along the lines of a spa treatment, a time to relax. I don’t think I got any pictures of it. There was another involving putting a paste made of tumeric on the bridal couple’s face, arms, and feet — I’m not sure of the word for that one — but it is somehow meant as a blessing to them. What’s supposed to happen afterward is everyone then paints this on everyone else and it’s meant to be a fun time of getting to know each other, but somehow they didn’t do that part. I don’t know if it was in deference to us (though we were prepared for it), or, as one said, it just just getting late and everyone was hungry and wanted to go ahead and eat.

The wedding morning dawned bright and sunny Saturday. I’m afraid I don’t have any pictures of the wedding itself — we’ll have to wait for the ones from the photographer. The only time I almost lost it was when the bride walked in and when toward the beginning of the ceremony they presented gifts to the parents. There were a couple of moments of unreality (“Is that really my son up there?!”) but overall things went really well. No major glitches except the city tornado warning siren going off toward the end. 😀

One other Indian custom during the wedding involved Jason tying a necklace made of a gold cord and a locket around Mittu’s neck while a longtime family friend read about the custom. It’s the Indian equivalent of the exchange of rings. It did have Hindu roots, but it has been Christianized and mention was specifically made of it being done in God’s name, so we had no problem with it (much like using Christmas trees and other such things which purportedly have pagan roots but which are used now in good conscience without those connections).

The family was careful to serve both Indian and American foods during all the get-togethers. Indian food is quite spicy but they would point out to us which ones were milder.

I just love all the kids in the bridal party. Most of them were friends from college and/or the camp where Jason and Mittu worked. I had met many of them before, and they were all such fun and all, especially the best man and maid of honor, put in a lot of work to help their friends.

My step-father and two sisters from Texas were able to come, and we enjoyed visiting with them during the reception and then at dinner that night and a quick breakfast before heading out.

We set out on the road Sunday morning and some time in the afternoon just before Clarksville, Arkansas, the tire of the trailer blew out. Jim called AAA only to discover they don’t cover trailers, and even if they did, they could only change the tire, not bring us out a new one. They called several tire places for us but they were all closed because it was Sunday. Jeremy googled around and found a Wal-Mart two exits up (the AAA person had said there were no WAl-Marts in the area…), so we had to disconnect the trailer and leave it on the side of the road with much prayer for protection while we zoomed up to Wal-Mart to get a lug wrench. Jim was going to try to put the spare from the car on the trailer long enough to get back up to Wal-Mart and replace the tire. While we were doing all that, who should call but Jason — he and Mittu had just passed the trailer on the side of the road! So they stopped to help us out. We got up to the Wal-Mart service center just as they were closing, but they graciously helped us out. If Jason and Mittu hadn’t “happened” along just when they did, we would have gotten to Wal-Mart past the tire center closing time. After all that was taken care of, we got to eat together, and then each went on our way. An unconventional way to spend part of one’s honeymoon, but I am glad it happened as it did! As we were dealing with disconnecting the trailer for a while, and I was praying that no one would steal it or its contents, I was thinking of the ramifications of all of that. Sometimes God does allow for such things to happen, and there are things He wants us to learn from such experiences, but it’s a little harder on one’s faith. I was just thrilled that He allowed the way it all worked out so that His hand was so obviously at work.

We ended up driving straight through (I say we — Jim drove the whole way) except for about an hour or so at a rest stop. Then we unloaded the trailer at the kids’ house, went back to our house and loaded Jason’s bedroom furniture on it and unloaded the same at their house, then got some pizza and crashed at home.

Got a great night’s sleep and a much-needed shower, and now need to finish unpacking and go to the store and then go over to the kids’ house to do a bit of cleaning.

It was a great time over all. I miss having a hotel room cleaned, beds made, and towels washed every morning. 😀 But other than that I’m glad to be home. Hope to have pictures soon!

Friday’s Fave Five

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Susanne at Living to Tell the Story hosts a “Friday Fave Five” in which we share our five favorite things from the past week. Click on the button to read more of the details, and you can visit Susanne to see the list of others’ favorites or to join in.

1. The birthday of Jason, my middle son.

2. Jason’s excitement about setting up housekeeping. He found a house to rent nearby and was so excited to show it to us and buy the first few things for it. He’ll be even more excited to bring his bride home in a few weeks when he gets married. Though there have some bittersweet moments at the thought of his “leaving the nest,” it’s also a happy, exciting time seeing him take these steps.

3. Chocolate night at church. During the summers on Wed. nights at church we have Family Camp type meetings with a fellowship afterward, and each fellowship centers around a theme — breakfast foods one night, peaches one night, etc., and last night was chocolate night. My favorite. 🙂 I made a Four-Layer Dessert (except I made a graham cracker crust instead), which we all love, but I only make it for a fellowship like this or when we have company because it’s just too much for our family. Plus I was hoping someone would bring a certain type of cake — I don’t know what it is, but it’s flat and has a particular flavor of icing. I think it might be Texas Sheet Cake, but I’ve never tried making it myself. Someone (I haven’t figured out who) often brings it to church fellowships, and I was hoping it would be there and I would get some — and they did and I did!

4. Books about craft areas. Have I mentioned that when Jason gets married I am inheriting his room as a sewing/craft/guest room? Maybe once or twice? 🙂 I was going to ask for Where Women Create and Organizing Your Craft Space, both by Jo Packham, for my birthday, but then I realized that I’d have the room by my birthday and could use the ideas before then. Both arrived this week. I devoured the one and started the other last night. I’m enjoying the luscious pictures and great ideas.

CreateParty PosterJuly5. Where Bloggers Create. I saw at Quill Cottage that today is a blog event called Where Bloggers Create in which bloggers are invited to shop what their creative space looks like. I’ve been looking forward to this since I first saw it mentioned. I won’t be joining in, because my creative space is in need of much help, whether I were getting a room for it or not. But I’ll be looking forward to getting ideas and inspiration.

Happy Friday!

“Despise not thy mother when she is old.”

I was reading on a completely different topic yesterday when I was brought up short as the writer quoted the second half of Proverbs 23:22:

Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old.

We usually think of the word “despise” by today’s definition: “to regard with contempt, distaste, disgust, or disdain; scorn; loathe” (Dictionary.com). But sometimes the word translated “despise” in the KJV has an added layer in addition to those: “to hold as insignificant” (Bible StudyTools.com).

As a general rule, older people aren’t very well respected in American society. Oh, we might respect our individual grandparents and have a general feeling that we should be kind to older people. But they are often the target of jokes and stereotypes, and get behind one in a slow-moving vehicle or try to maneuver through a store having “Senior’s Day,” and frustration (and worse feelings) can abound. We often think of them as “out of touch” and do our best to just tolerate them.

Scripture has a different view of the elderly:

Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy God: I am the LORD. (Leviticus 19:32)

The hoary head is a crown of glory, if it be found in the way of righteousness. (Proverbs 16:31)

The glory of young men is their strength: and the beauty of old men is the grey head. (Proverbs 20:29)

I have to admit there can be frustrations in dealing with older people, which have become even more acute to me with my mother-in-law moving here: going through the same conversational loop four times in twenty minutes; a loss of social graces they once had; fretting and fears that they once could keep in perspective and under control but that now run rampant, etc. I don’t say these things to “talk down” about her or any older person, but just to be honest. The first verse I mentioned spoke to me in reminding me not to let those frustrations spill over into negative attitudes. We may not always have warm, fuzzy, altruistic, loving feelings when we’re helping or serving others — sometimes we do, but sometimes those come afterward (as one beloved professor used to say, “Good feelings follow right actions”), but we can guard against the negative.

A verse that I sometimes pray just before going to see my mother-in-law is “Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness” (Colossians 1:11), and I’ve been reminded recently of our Lord’s words that “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me” (Matthew 25:31-46) (not that I think of my mother-in-law or older people as “the least of these,” but rather I’m reminded that serving anyone else is service to Christ.) I Thessalonians 5:14 reminds me,”Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men.” And I remember sometimes, too, that some day, Lord willing, I’m going to be elderly, and “And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise” (Luke 6:31).

In some ways I am hesitant to post this because I don’t want to sound as if dealing with the elderly is all a trial of patience, and I don’t want to sound gripey. It can be pleasant, even fun sometimes. I hope those who don’t deal with the elderly and who might think we shouldn’t have any negative feelings will withhold judgment: There are frustrations in any relationship that we need to learn how to deal with Biblically. I’ve made several friends in cyberspace who also care for elderly parents, and I don’t want anyone to think I am talking about them: I’m just sharing what the Lord’s been dealing with me about, and I hope it is a blessing to you, too. It’s been a help to me when I read of your dealings with your loved ones.

The following has also been a blessing to me:

Grandmother’s Beatitudes or Beatitudes for Friends of the Aged

Blessed are they who understand
My faltering step and palsied hand.
Blessed are they who know that my ears today
Must strain to hear the things they say.
Blessed are they who seem to know
That my eyes are dim and wits are slow.
Blessed are they who look away
When coffee spilled at the table today.
Blessed are they with a cheery smile
Who stop to chat for a little while.
Blessed are they who never say
“You’ve told that story twice today.”
Blessed are they who know the ways
To bring back memories of yesterday.
Blessed are they who make it known
That I’m loved, respected, and not alone.
Blessed are they who know I’m at a loss
To find the strength to carry the cross.
Blessed are they who ease the way
On my journey Home in loving ways.

~ Author unknown

It’s beginning to sink in…

When Jason and his fiancee first starting talking about marriage, they were planning to go to CA — aaaaallllll the way across the country from SC — to work in the camp where Jason has worked for 5 or 6 summers. But that camp closed down. So they decided to live nearby in the meantime, work on paying off school debts, and pray about where to go. I want them to be wherever the Lord wants them, of course, but I am delighted to have them nearby for a while. I attributed the fact that I hadn’t had any mushily sentimental moments to the fact that I wasn’t really  “losing” a son since he was only going to be ten minutes away. I also joked with some of you that my inheriting Jason’s room for a longed-for sewing/craft/guest room is softening the loss a bit.

Jason found a little house to rent and, since it has no current occupants, the landlord went ahead and gave him the keys. Jason wanted to go ahead and start packing up some of his things to take to the house so there wouldn’t be quite so much to do after the wedding. When I peeked in and saw all those boxes…that’s when it began to really sink in that he was actually moving out.

Jason’s been my rover — away almost every summer for years, on two international mission trips, and even though he lived at home during college, he was often gone from 7 a.m. til 10 or 11 p.m. So you’d think we’d be “used to” his being gone. I don’t know that we ever got completely used to it, but, even still, his room was always there waiting for him to come back. And the sight of all those boxes being packed up suddenly confronted me with the reality that he is actually moving away from home. Not far — but, still, it’s the end of an era.

When I commented on that fact and got all teary, my husband, Jim, teasing, said, “No, no — think sewing room! Sewing room!

And later I smiled to see that Jason had made this sign and put it on his door:

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The moment passed. Jason took us over to his new house and showed us around. His happiness and excitement are infectious. It’s just really cute to see (forgive me for putting it that way, Jason. 🙂 ) We are happy and excited for them and love our future daughter-in-law. But I am sure there will be a few more of those poignant, teary moments in the next few weeks.