Wanting things to be “perfect”

You know how it is when company’s coming. Though you always want to keep your house to a certain level of cleanliness, and you do esteem your family members above everyone else, there is just something about having company that sets off a housecleaning frenzy.

I learned long ago that I can’t usually get everything done that I’d like to do before company comes, so I’ve learned how to prioritize and hit the most important things first. If I have enough warning, sometimes I can get some of those long overdue household projects done as well.

But no matter how much I do, it seems there is always something I miss. Recently a friend of my son and daughter-in-law’s was in town visiting them, and I invited them all over for dinner one night. I was rejoicing in getting just about everything done that I wanted to before she came. Dinner was not quite ready when they got here (because I decided I needed to vacuum my room before I started dinner, even though it was unlikely she would go in there. It had been needing it anyway and it was a relief of mind to get it done). They offered to help and set the table, but dinner was just a matter of waiting on things to cook through. While they waited, our guest played some different hymns on the piano. It rejoiced my heart to hear the piano in there again: no one had played in months since we let Jesse drop out of lessons this year. We enjoyed a nice time of fellowship later with dinner.

The next day, I was picking up some things in the living room when I noticed some scattered debris on the piano next to the keys. “What in the world…?” I thought. I had just dusted it the day before. As I drew closer to inspect it, I saw it was needles from the fir Christmas tree. From last December. On my piano in May. We had had the cover over the piano keys closed for so long, I didn’t even think to open it to dust under there. And there it was for our guest to discover!

That reminded me of another time in early married years when we wanted to have the youth group over after church one Sunday night. We had furiously cleaned the day before until everything was gleaming. As the young people came in and then started singing, my eyes strayed behind them to the bookcase, on top of which was the can of dusting spray, on top of which was the dustrag, which happened to be an old pair of my husband’s underwear with the distinctive waistband showing. I was mortified, but I couldn’t do anything about it: if I went toward it to remove it, all eyes would see and notice it then. So I just left it and hoped no one saw it. If they did, they were too polite to say so. I couldn’t do anything but laugh about it afterward, since there was no way to correct it.

I’ve had what sometimes seems like more than my share of laughable, imperfect cooking experiences from disastrous cakes to green gravy to volcanic teriyaki.

I was reading a book on hospitality once where the author wrote about a time when she had a bit of time to relax, so she sat on the sofa and read the newspaper. Then someone came to the door, and when she answered it she saw it was an acquaintance who had dropped by unexpectedly. The author was embarrassed that things weren’t “picked up,” but invited her guest in anyway. When the guest saw the scattered newspapers, she smiled and said something like, “Now we can be friends.” When people are “perfect,” we can’t quite relate to them and they can even seem unapproachable. But when we see they have the same struggles we do, then they are more genuine to us and we can interact with them more comfortably.

Years ago when I first joined the TMIC, I wanted to be a good testimony there. It’s frowned upon to use such a forum as a “bully pulpit,” and I didn’t want to do that, anyway. But I did want to honestly relate how God helped me and I wanted to be a light for Him there. Because of that, I tried to keep my posts upbeat and hopeful. Some months later another Christian lady joined, and I was blessed by how honest she was about her struggles. She wasn’t morose or complaining, but she shared her everyday struggles as well as her faith. I e-mailed her privately about how refreshing her posts were, and she wrote back that it wouldn’t pay to hide her struggles. By sharing that she struggled with the same things everyone else did, she was more genuine and had more of an open door.

In the chapter “Women of Like Passions” from her book Keep a Quiet Heart, Elisabeth Elliot wrote of a woman at a conference who had asked to speak to her, but was hesitant to “bother” her and was a little afraid of her. Elisabeth agreed to speak with her and tried to reassure her, and later the leader of the conference told Elisbaeth that the woman had told her, “Oh, it wasn’t bad after all! I walked in–I was shaking. I looked into her eyes, and I knew that she, too, had suffered. Then she gave me this beautiful smile. When I saw that huge space between her front teeth, I said to myself, ‘it’s OK–she’s not perfect!'”

Then in the same chapter she wrote of a time when her daughter, Valerie, was speaking, lost her place in her notes, and after a long, awkward time span of not being able to find it again, did the best she could ad-libbing the rest. She was nearly in tears as she finished, but afterward one person told her it was the best class so far and another thanked her for what she had said that helped her. Later she told her mother, “I couldn’t understand why this had happened. I had prepared faithfully, done the best I could. But then I remembered a prayer I’d prayed that week (Walt told me it was a ridiculous prayer!)–asking the Lord to make those women know that I’m just an ordinary woman like the rest of them and I need His help. I guess this was His answer, don’t you think?”

We need to let go of perfectionism. Who are we trying to fool, anyway? We so want for things to be “just right” when we have company or have an event. And that’s a worthy desire. It shows care for the guests and care for one’s home and surroundings. I’ve been in places where there was no such care, and they were uncomfortable places to be. But we don’t need to beat ourselves up when things aren’t “perfect” even when we’ve done our best. It helps to just laugh at ourselves (with others, if they’re aware), learn from the situation (next time I will lift the piano key cover and dust under there!), and, for serious offenses, go to Jesus for cleansing and restoration. Even though He is perfect, He is approachable because He bore our sin and its punishment so that we could be forgiven. We can never be perfect on our own, but by His grace we can be washed white as snow, pure and spotless.

For verily he took not on him the nature of angels; but he took on him the seed of Abraham. Wherefore in all things it behoved him to be made like unto his brethren, that he might be a merciful and faithful high priest in things pertaining to God, to make reconciliation for the sins of the people.  For in that he himself hath suffered being tempted, he is able to succour (help, aid) them that are tempted. Hebrews 2:16-18.

For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:15-16.

The Week In Words

Welcome to The Week In Words, where we share quotes from the last week’s reading. If something you read this past week  inspired you, caused you to laugh, cry, think, dream, or just resonated with you in some way, please share it with us, attributing to its source, which can be a book, newspaper, blog, Facebook — anything that you read. More information is here.

These thought-provoking quotes are taken from “The Glory of Plodding” by Kevin DeYoung, whom I have never read before, but I saw a link to this post at Challies.

…notions of churchless Christianity are unrealistic. It’s immaturity actually, like the newly engaged couple who think romance preserves the marriage, when the couple celebrating their golden anniversary know it’s the institution of marriage that preserves the romance.

What we need are fewer revolutionaries and a few more plodding visionaries.

Daily discipleship is not a new revolution each morning or an agent of global transformation every evening; it’s a long obedience in the same direction.

I’d recommend the whole post, but those quotes in particular stood out to me.

And seen at a friend’s Facebook update:

“He who sings his own praise is usually off key.” – Unknown

A good reminder!

And at ivman‘s just this morning:

“It doesn’t make sense to ignore God for what’s going to burn up.” – Drew Conley

That’s convicting: we spend so much time on the things that are not going to last rather than on the eternal and unseen.

Please share your links to your “Week In Words” post below, and as always, please do remember to keep it family-friendly.

Port of Two Brothers

Port of Two Brothers by Paul Schlener is the story of two brothers and their families who went out as pioneer missionaries under ABWE on the Amazon River in Brazil in the 1950s. They had to name the piece of land when they bought it, and “Port of Two Brothers” seemed the most natural name. Paul spent all of his missionary career in Brazil,. John had to leave earlier due to health.

I am grateful for the publisher who tapped Paul on the shoulder after church one day to tell him that his experiences should be in print. Though I love the “classic” missionary books, I’ve long been an advocate of modern-day missionaries writing their stories as well, to show that God still does work through willing vessels to accomplish His will, and His power and grace are the same as they have ever been.

Paul writes about the details of establishing a pioneer work in a primitive area realistically though uncomplainingly. He and John found themselves many times facing experiences outside the primary missionary tasks of preaching, teaching, and discipling that they were not prepared for, from boat repairs to building to establishing a school to providing medical aid, but in each situation they sought the Lord, got the best information they could, and plunged ahead.

Humor is sprinkled liberally throughout.  His account of his first experience pulling teeth is hilarious to read, though I am sure it was not so funny at the time. He had wanted to avoid dentistry, but when a dentist gave him unsought books and equipment, and he saw the people in such dire need, he felt he really had no choice but to do what he could.

But more important than the needed physical help the brothers were enabled to provide was the light of the gospel they brought. What a thrill and a blessing to read of those who believed and whose lives were changed. In one instance, two visiting preachers wanted to observe a Brazilian festa. Neither the missionaries nor the national Christians thought this was a good idea, but the visitors pressed, so they worked out the details to go. The ritual “celebrating” a young girl’s coming to the full responsibilities of womanhood at puberty was macabre and ghastly, and the Christians could not even stay for the worst of it. Yet within twenty years some of those involved in that ritual had become believers. As Paul visited the same village, he wrote:

I saw again the transforming power of God in the lives of these people. I could never refer to them as uncivilized, for their lives were on a far higher spiritual and moral plane than many people educated and steeped in an industrial society.

My thoughts went back to the drunken orgy held in this place 20 years ago. No one could read. There were no Bibles, no Christians, no knowledge of God and His plan of salvation; there existed only fear, superstition, witchcraft, knife fights, and drunkenness. I lamented that Jessie (his wife) wasn’t with me to see this; John would have appreciated it as well.

I approached the little table and asked Franciso to lead in another hymn while I gathered my thoughts. I still have the little index card with my few notes on the first sentence of Psalm 23: “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.” They listened as I made it through the short message without choking up.

That’s what it’s all about.

(This review will be linked to Semicolon’s Saturday Review of Books.)

The blessing of hymns

(Photo courtesy of the morgueFile.)

A couple of weeks ago, Diane at Strength For Today posted this text from the flyleaf of a hymnbook titled Tabernacle Hymns No. 5, printed in 1959:

I AM YOUR HYMN BOOK

Next to the Bible, I should be your most
treasured book.

Hold me in your hand on Sunday when you
prepare to sing.

Let your heart listen to what has been
enshrined within me.

Hear the songs and the triumphant words
of the martyrs dying for a faith the same as yours.

Give heed to the prayers of devout men who
have found the heart of God.

Follow the missionaries of the Cross on their
way to the ends of the earth.

Listen to the great minds of the Church as
they share with you the deep mysteries
of the plan and purpose of the eternal God.

Sit at the feet of the musicians and poets, of
the saints and the redeemed in all lands
and times, of all those who have seen the
hunger in the heart unsatisfied except through song.

All these I have treasured…for you.

I am your hymn book.

I love that. Though I have to admit there are times when I’m singing the familiar words while my mind is elsewhere, overall hymns have been a great blessing in my life.

My former pastor, now with the Lord, Jesse Boyd, used to say that hymns can be even more instructive than sermons because we read, sing, and hear them at the same time, providing a triple reinforcement (and that was one reason why he corrected hymns that were doctrinally askew: he didn’t want the wrong message being reinforced as we sang.) In Jim Berg’s book Changed Into His Image, he advocates using a hymnbook as part of your devotional time, to read or sing through the words. Elisabeth Elliot shared in “The Song of the Animals” from her book On Asking God Why:

When I stumble out of bed in the morning, put on a robe, and go into my study, words do not spring spontaneously to my lips–other than words like, “Lord, here I am again to talk to you. It’s cold. I’m not feeling terribly spiritual….” Who can go on and on like that morning after morning, and who can bear to listen to it day after day?

I need help in order to worship God. Nothing helps me more than the Psalms. Here we find human cries–of praise, adoration, anguish, complaint, petition. There is an immediacy, an authenticity, about those cries. They speak for me to God–that is, they say what I often want to say, but for which I cannot find words…

[The Psalmist] found expression for praise far beyond my poor powers, so I use his and am lifted out of myself, up into heights of adoration, even though I’m still the same ordinary woman alone in the same little room.

Another source of assistance for me has been the great hymns of the Church, such as “Praise, My Soul, the King of Heaven,” “New Every Morning Is the Love,” “Great Is Thy Faithfulness,” “Glorious Things of Thee Are Spoken,” and ”O Worship the King.” The third stanza of that last one delights me. It must delight God when I sing it to him:

Thy bountiful care, what tongue can recite?
It breathes in the air, it shines in the light;
It streams from the hills, it descends to the plain,
And sweetly distills in the dew and the rain.

That’s praise. By putting into words things on earth for which we thank him, we are training ourselves to be ever more aware of such things as we live our lives. It is easy otherwise to be oblivious of the thousand evidences of his care. Have you thought of thanking God for light and air, because in them his care breathes and shines?

Hymns often combine praise and petition, which are appropriate for that time alone with God. The beautiful morning hymn “Awake, My Soul, and With the Sun” has these stanzas:

All praise to Thee, who safe hast kept,
And hast refreshed me while I slept.
Grant, Lord, when I from death shall wake,
I may of endless light partake.
Direct, control, suggest, this day,
All I design, or do, or say;
That all my powers, with all their might,
In Thy sole glory may unite.

Hymns that express Scriptural doctrine and both the cries and praises of the heart have ministered to me greatly, next to Scripture itself, and not only in church but on the radio at home or in the car or even the ones that comes to mind as I go about my daily duties. In times of nervousness or distress, it has calmed me to think through the words of a hymn. And some hymns full of praise to God instruct me and inspire me as well in my praise to Him. “None Like You,” for instance, is one that almost instantly stops my in my tracks and melts my heart in praise.

So today, I am thankful for the gift of hymns.

And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord. Ephesians 5:18-19.

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. Colossians 3:16.

Book Review: The Telling

The Telling is the last  in the Seasons of Grace series by Beverly Lewis about an Amish wife and mother who suddenly and inexplicably leaves her family. Over the last two books, the family has dealt with practical and emotional ramifications of her absence and discovered a couple of clues as to where she might be while the mother, Lettie, searches for a way to make peace with her past. Lettie’s daughter, Grace, receives permission from her father to go to the last known place Lettie has been to try to find her, and her Englisher friend, Heather, offers to drive her there.

Meanwhile Lettie has gone as far as she can to try to set things right and determines she must go home and confess to her family and church, wondering all the while if they will receive and forgive her.

Heather deals with a course of holistic treatment for her cancer and some unexpected information about her own past.

Grace must continue to deal with the impact of her mother’s absence and then the consequences of her return while trying to be a friend to Heather and wondering what to do about the seeming interest of a young man named Yonnie.

I enjoyed this book very much and was well satisfied with the ending, even while seeing it coming. Various aspects of repentance, forgiveness, and grace are shown in  by each of the characters involved. It will be a little sad to leave these characters behind now.

(This review will be linked to Semicolon’s Saturday Review of Books.)

The Week in Words — under new management

I mentioned last week that Melissa was no longer able to host “The Week In Words” and that I was thinking of taking it up. I had just about decided not to, as there didn’t seem to be that much interest, but then Janet wrote me this morning asking if I was going to. So I decided to give it a try. I have never hosted a meme before, so this will be a learning experience!

One disadvantage is that wordpress.com does not support any kind of a “linky” system. Participants would need to leave their links in the comments, and I could also come back through the day and make a list within the post of those participating. This is how the various hosts of Poetry Friday usually do it, and it can work well. Thanks to Quilly, I did discover there is one Mr. Linky code that will work with the free hosted WordPress blogs.!

So..here we go!

As I have mentioned before, I love quotes: I keep a file for them on my computer, underline them in books, put a sticky tab at the top of  pages to remind me where they are. Sometimes it’s due to the succinctness and depth of truth in them, sometimes just the way it is worded causes me to think differently or more deeply about something. Sometimes I think, “I never thought about it quite that way.” Other times my response is, “That’s it exactly: that’s just how I thought, only he/she expressed it better.” If quotes affect you the same way, if something you read this past week  inspired you, caused you to laugh, cry, think, dream, or just resonated with you in some way, please share it with us.

I am struggling not to put the whole May 5 reading from Our Daily Walk by F. B. Meyer today: it’s good, and I encourage you to read it. But I think this quote will stand out better just by itself in this post. In discussing not shrinking from a loving heavenly Father’s will because it might be painful, Meyer says:

You will only lose what you would gladly give up if you know as much as God does of what promotes soul-health.

We’re so reluctant to give up anything or go through any changes, but sometimes what we cling to, what the Father is trying to pry from our clutched hands (or probably more accurately, what He is patiently waiting for us to release to Him),  is actually what is stunting our spiritual growth and health.

I’ll just leave that one quote today since I had so much else to say, but the May 7 reading about forgiveness is excellent as well. 🙂

I’m looking forward to reading what has inspired you this week. At this point I do have one major request: please keep it family-friendly. Thanks!

1. Janet
2. Susanne
3. Susan
4. Sekyoushi
5. Mama Bear

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A Mother’s Day Prayer

I highly recommend For Moms, Former Moms, and Wannabe Moms by Wendy Alsup at Practical Theology For Women. Here is a sampling:

Motherhood is not the greatest good for the Christian woman. Whether you are a mom or not, don’t get caught up in sentimentalism that sets it up as some saintly role. The greatest good is being conformed to the image of Christ. Now, motherhood is certainly one of God’s primary tools in His arsenal for this purpose for women. But it is not the end itself. Being a mom doesn’t make you saintly. Believe me. Being a mom exposes all the ways you are a sinner, not a saint. Not being a mom and wanting to be one does too. We may long to get pregnant, looking at motherhood from afar. God sanctifies us through that longing. We may lose a pregnancy or a child, and mourn the loss of our motherhood. God conforms us to Christ through that as well. We may have a brood of children of various ages, and heaven knows God roots sin out of our hearts that way. It’s all about THE greatest good, being conformed to the image of Christ – reclaiming the image of God that He created us to bear through gospel grace. And God uses both the presence and the absence of children in the lives of His daughters as a primary tool of conforming us to Christ.

I shared this last year, but it is on my mind again this year:

A Mother’s Day Prayer

God our Creator, I pray:
For new mothers, coming to terms with new responsibility;
for expectant mothers, wondering and waiting;
for those who are tired, stressed, or depressed;
for those who struggle to balance the tasks of work and family;
for those who are unable to feed their children due to poverty;
for those whose children have physical, mental, or emotional disabilities;
for those who have children that they do not want;
for those who raise children on their own;
for those who have lost a child;
for those who care for the children of others;
for those whose children have left home;
and for those whose desire to be a mother has not been fulfilled.

Bless all mothers, that their love may be deep and tender,
and that they may lead their children to know and to do what is good,
living not for themselves alone, but for God and for others.
Amen

Author Unknown

I am thankful for the mother I was blessed to have for 48 years (and I miss her sorely), my mother-in-law, older moms who have helped me along the way by their words and example, and those who call me mom.

An original poem…

When my children were babies and toddlers, the last thing I did every night before going to bed was check on them. If I couldn’t hear them breathing or see the rise and fall of their chests, I’d place my hand on their back to make sure they were still breathing. As they got older, probably until they hit puberty, checking on them last thing before I went to bed was still my nightly ritual. If they were out for some activity in their teens and college years, I could not go to bed until they came home…though I did sometimes fall asleep on the couch. It was disconcerting when they got old enough to stay up later than I did. I missed that settled feeling of knowing everyone was “tucked in” before I went to sleep. That feeling was magnified as they started going away from home for longer periods, to camp or missions trips or to work somewhere for the summer, and then as I began to think of their leaving home to establish their own. But I reminded myself that they were in God’s care.

This poem arose out of that experience. I wrote it almost two years ago and sent to my friends Bet, who teaches college journalism classes, and Ann, who teaches high school English, for their critiques. Thank you both for your invaluable comments! I put it away for a while in order to come back to it later and hopefully think more clearly about it, and just got it out again several days ago. It’s still not perfect, but it’s better than it was, thanks to Ann and Bet’s suggestions.

I debated about putting it on my blog. because once it is on the Internet it’s in danger of being kidnapped. On the other hand, people don’t write poetry to keep it in a book: I hope it ministers to others’ hearts as it did my own. I would just remind people that it is copyrighted and ask that if you use it, please include my name and preferably a link back here.

A Mother’s Nightly Ritual

Before a mother goes to bed
She checks each little downy head,
Places a hand on back or chest
Of each sleeping child at rest,
Making sure that all is well
Before succumbing to sleep’s spell.

As children grow and youth abounds,
Yet Mother still must make her rounds.
She can not rest at ease until
Her little ones are calm and still,
Safely tucked into their beds,
Then softly to her own she treads.

From childhood into youth they grow,
And she waits up until she knows
They’re settled safe and sound at home
Til the next day when they roam.
Though now they stay up long past her,
She can’t rest til they’re home, secure.

Her birds fly later from her sight.
Their beds are empty now at night.
She cannot check the rise and fall
Of sleeping breaths within her walls.
Yet she trusts they’re safely kept
By Him who never once has slept.

Though now they sleep beyond her care,
They never move beyond her prayer.
Her nightly vigil now is to
Trust them to the same One Who
Watched o’er Jacob while he roamed,
And kept him safe though far from home.

Barbara Harper
Copyright 2010

Mother’s Little Angel

by Norman Rockwell

Courtesy of imagekind

National Day of Prayer 2010

I have never “celebrated” the National Day of Prayer except to say a brief prayer in private for my country. I Timothy 2:1-2 says, “I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; For kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty.” I have to confess I often don’t think to unless there is some kind of trouble, imminent or potential, and I suspect many conservative Christians are the same way.

I know there is some controversy over the national declaration of such a day. Whatever the separation of church and state actually means, it is clear that our founding fathers did not mean that every vestige of religion be moved from public life. They often invoked God’s name in their writings, even in their official documents. While I think Christian leaders can declare such a day without governmental support, I think it is wise and helpful for government to acknowledge it is not beyond the need for prayer.

I am not much for writing out prayers — I’d rather just pray them. But I have benefited from the many prayers in Scripture and from other people’s writings, and writing them out can be a good way to sort out one’s stray thoughts, think through how one wants to pray, and focus without as much distraction. So in that vein, I wanted to write out what I want to pray today.

Dear Father,

Thank you for this nation. Even with all its flaws, it is a good place to live. I am thankful for its blessings and provisions. We too easily take for granted all we have here. Help us to be more mindful of others, even within our own country, who don’t have the blessings we’re so accustomed to, and help us to be more generous.

I do pray for our leaders, from the president all the way down to the local school board members. Help them to seek Your guidance. Help them to be honest, to be motivated by the good they can do rather than their own positions and status, to take a stand when needed and to know when and how to negotiate when needed. Help those who don’t know you to be convicted of their own need for you and to hear and believe your truth. I do pray “that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty.”

I do not pray that we may “reclaim the culture.” I think what many people mean by that is that we might return to the cleaner lifestyles and family values of decades ago. While I do pray for those things, I acknowledge that people can live even in that culture without truly knowing You and without being motivated by Your truth. What I do pray for is a revival like the kind that shook our nation during the Great Awakening, in which people would acknowledge You, be convicted about living their lives apart from the dictates of Your Word, and believe on You for forgiveness and salvation. Your Word says, “Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD” (Psalm 33:12a). May our nation become a truly Christian one.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen

Assorted reading and stray thoughts for Mother’s Day

One old post of mine getting a lot of hits these days is one about Mother’s Day reading, but since I did not know many of you then, I’ll repost a little of it here. I know some of you don’t like to look through lists of links, but there is good stuff in these. I was thinking of posting this on Saturday, but then thought some of you might like to see some of these before then.

Elisabeth Elliot wrote a leaflet she titled “A Call to Spiritual Motherhood” which she read in on of her radio broadcasts. You can read the transcript here. It is an excellent article encouraging all of us in any stage of life to spiritually “mother” younger women. Many of us have had godly women besides out own mothers who were shining examples to us, who taught us along the way and encouraged us. I think they are worthy of honor on a day like Mother’s Day, too. :)

Girltalk has some excellent articles for those who have lost children to miscarriage or a later death, struggle with infertility or have wayward children, for whom this time of year can be quite painful.

Annie’s Mother’s Day pages have several neat links. I especially liked What the Bible Says About Mothers.

I mentioned the high expectations some women might have about Mother’s Day, setting themselves up for disappointment, but I’ve often run into just the opposite: a mom who doesn’t like all the fuss on Mother’s Day, or, as Al Mohler wrote one year, that Mother’s Day is a bad idea because of the commercialism, the sentimentality, or the lack of honoring mothers other days of the year and trying to make up for it on that one day. To moms who maybe don’t like to be put on the spot or feel uncomfortable about all the attention that day, I would say just accept it as an expression of love.  You may not want or need gifts and may just want the family to have time together, and that’s fine, but don’t downplay what your family tries to do to honor you. Have you ever tried to give a gift to someone who keeps saying things like “You shouldn’t have!” so much that it takes all the joy out of giving to them? Don’t be like that (of course, balance is the key here. Maybe next year well before Mother’s Day you might want to express to your family that you really don’t want anything and ask about a family day instead, if you feel that way. But don’t downplay their efforts after they’ve already done something.)

As for the sentiment that Mother’s Day is a bad idea for the reasons mentioned: I agree with some of Dr. Mohler’s points: it’s wrong to passively neglect or actively dishonor one’s mother and then try to assuage guilt with a card and flowers on Mother’s Day. And I do agree some sentiments are over the top: sometimes when buying cards I have wondered if they were made for real people at all. Sentimentality, though, is often in the eye of the beholder. What might seem “gushy” and over the top to some might seem just right to another. And, yes, most holidays have become too commercial, but that doesn’t mean we need to do away with them completely. There are multitudes of options between going all out and not celebrating at all.

I consider Mother’s and Father’s Day and many holidays  in the same way I think of Thanksgiving: we’re supposed to be thankful all the time, but there is something special about that one day and taking special care and thought into pondering just how much we have to be thankful for and the One to Whom we owe our gratitude. So with a day dedicated to parents: it’s one of the ten commandments to honor our parents, and Mother’s and Father’s Day is just one way to do so. It’s not that we save up our honor all year for this day: we honor them all the time, but this special day we focus on them, their love to us, and all they have done for us, and let them know we love and appreciate them.

What if you don’t feel your mother is worthy of honor? The command to honor our fathers and mothers is just that — a command. During my teens I did struggle for a brief while with respecting my parents. One day after a sermon on “Children, obey your parents,” it occurred to me that the two passages that teach that (Ephesians 6:1-3 and Colossians 3:20) do not qualify the command (obey if they are saved, if they are perfect, if they do everything just right, if they deserve it). I realized that all of the commands about relationships in the rest of those passages were not dependent on the other person doing his or her part. We’re supposed to do our part whether the other one does or not. I was supposed to obey my parents and respect their position as my parents. I had to apologize for my attitude, and the Lord enabled me to indeed honor them and respect them, and even to appreciate them and to be thankful for the life they gave me, the care they took of me, and so many more things. It showed in my attitude (I had never been allowed to “backtalk,” but there are other ways a disrespectful attitude can seep out), and the Lord healed the breach between my parents and me. I only wish she were still here for me to honor, but I do honor her memory. A few years ago I wrote Things I love about my mom.

Here are some things I’ve posted in the past regarding Mother’s Day. 🙂

Mother’s Day funnies.
Mother’s Dictionary (funny).
Mother’s Kisses (poem).
Mother’s Day Poems.