Thankful in everything

I Thessalonians 5:18: “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” I can give thanks…

In infirmities — because His grace is sufficient, His strength is made perfect in my weakness. II Corinthians 12:9-10.

In reproaches — because it is an opportunity to see a fault I may have been unaware of and to deal with it, or if it is due to His Name, because it is a sign I belong to Him (Matthew 5:10-12) and not a part of the world system that opposes Him; I am a partaker of His sufferings (Philippians 3:9-10)

In necessities — because it is an opportunity to learn to be content in every circumstance (Philippians 4:11-13), and to see His provision (Philippians 4:19), and for Him to receive glory in the answer (II Corinthians 4:15)

In persecutions — because it is a sign I belong to Him (Matthew 5:10-12) and not a part of the world system that opposes Him; I am a partaker of His sufferings (Philippians 3:9-10)

In distresses — because it is an opportunity to find out my limits and my need and to see His provision and deliverance.

In chastening — because it is an indication that I belong to Him and because it will work out in me “the peaceable fruit of righteousness” (Proverbs 3:11-12, Hebrews 12:5-11)

In any trial — because the trying of my faith works patience and endurance into my character (James 1:2-4, Romans 5:3-5)

F. B. Meyer, commenting on Romans 5:17 in the January 21 reading from Our Daily Walk says:

This blessed life of victory is only possible to those who have been born from above. By nature we were born from below into the first Adam, who was “a living soul.” We must be born from above, into the second Adam, who becomes to all who trust in Him a Life-giving spirit (1Co 15:45). That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and cannot of itself rise into the Spirit; the Holy Spirit must stoop to lift it into union with Himself. But He will do this for you, if only you will lift your heart to Christ in simple faith and surrender.

The difference it will make! Each life has been planned by God with the intention of training it for high service here and beyond; and whatever happens in life, there is always an abundance of grace awaiting our use. But how often we are as blind to it as Balaam was to the Angel that stood on the wayside! We make our plans! We lie awake half the night in a fever of anxiety! We go to this friend or that! But we do not claim that abundance of grace which is intended to meet the need of the hour. It is only as we receive it by a childlike faith that we can reign in life. That word “abundance” in its Latin original speaks of ocean-waves. Stand on the shore and look out on that infinite expanse, and do not be content with scooping up enough to fill an oyster-shell!

What will result? A royal life! If a throne means power–we are strengthened with might by His Spirit in the inner man. If it means victory–we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us. If it means largess–we have always all sufficiency in all things, and abound to every good work.

PRAYER

Heavenly Father, I thank Thee for the trials and pains that are ever working for my good, and making me a partaker of Thy holiness. May I receive the abundance of Thy grace, and reign in life here and hereafter. AMEN.

So when any kind of need or problem arises, I can stress over it, wail “Why me?”, wring my hands, worry — or I can acknowledge my own deficiencies and rest in childlike faith in my heavenly Father, knowing He can take care of any need, physical, financial, emotional, spiritual, and joyfully watch to see what He will do, thankful for the opportunity to once again turn my eyes away from myself and to Him and His greatness, power, and majesty.

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong. II Corinthians 12:9-10.

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7.

My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. James 1:2-4.

Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. Romans 1:1-5.

It Was For Me

I love the words to this song,  and the music by Rod France arranged by Faye Lopez beautifully expresses the message.

Why leave a heav’nly mansion?
Why choose a simple stall?
Why wander poor and homeless,
The King and Lord of all?
Why heal a lonely beggar?
Why cause the blind to see?
The Light of all creation,
Shining there for me?

Chorus:
It was for me He cried, for me He died,
for me He shed His blood upon the tree.
It was for me He came, for me His shame;
For me, oh praise His name, it was for me.

Why stay in Olive’s garden?
Why spend the night in prayer?
Why suffer such betrayal
In anguish kneeling there?
Why leave His mother crying?
Why set Barabbas free?
The spotless Lamb of heaven
Given there for me.

Why climb that dreadful mountain?
Why suffer agony?
Why give His blood a fountain,
Spilled and broken, flowing free?
When He walked the road to Calv’ry,
Gave His life so willingly,
Broken there, the Rose of Sharon died for me.

(Chorus)

The King who came from heaven,
To the cry, “There is no room,”
Now must lay His weary body
In a cold and borrowed tomb.
But the grave, it would not hold Him;
Death lost its victory.
The risen Lord of glory
is living now for me.

It was for me He cried, for me He died,
for me He shed His blood upon the tree.
It was for me He came, for me His shame;
For me, oh praise His name, it was for me.

— Dave Bolling

But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. Isaiah 53:5-6.

______________________________

Updated to add: I have been asked several times for the sheet music for this song. I don’t have it. I only have a recorded version on a couple of CDs (Creator, Redeemer and King by The Wilds Men’s Quartet; another is Sing Praise to God by The Wilds Christian Camp. An instrumental version is on the Almighty, Unchangeable God CD, also from The Wilds.) At this time the Wilds Christian Camp has a SATB version as well as a TTBB version on their site. Go to http://wilds.org/, click on Store, then Click on Product Search and search for the song by title.

Haiti

Sometimes the news is just too horrific to watch. I can’t imagine how much more horrific it is to actually experience what is happening in places like Haiti after its devastating earthquake.

The Livesays (they’re the ones who made that sweet Christmas video I posted in December) are missionaries currently in Haiti who are updating as much as they are able with news and practical advice, for instance:

Coming down if you are not willing to risk and get in and clean out horrific wounds would just tax an already taxed place. Medical professionals should contact organizations with the ability to coordinate efforts and try to get here. It won’t help to have more non-medical people to feed and house. Hope that does not sound harsh – but it is truth.

Many of you know Frank Garlock, via either his books or messages about music or his hymn arrangements or as father-in-law to Ron Hamilton, aka “Patch the Pirate,” but he was on a mission trip to Haiti when the earthquake hit, and they’ve not heard from him or been able to get through to find out if he is all right. The local news had several folks in the same predicament with loved ones and friends in Haiti and means of communication being down. Update: Dr. Garlock has been found and is fine. Updates can be found here, but there are many with no word yet.

It always makes me sad when some are quick to say that sufferers are being judged for their sins, like Job’s miserable comforters. There are many reasons God allows suffering (and I urge you to take time to peruse that post, especially if you’re struggling with why God might allow such things as this.) One paragraph from that post:

Another thought is that God does not view death as we do. This was one thing that helped my son when he was troubled about why God let natural disasters like Hurricane Katrina happen. Death is in God’s hands, whether it is the death of an individual or hundreds of people, whether it happens in a car crash or an illness or a natural disaster. And, for the Christian, God looks at death differently than we do. On His side of it, He is ushering us into His Presence, and nothing could be better. To the lost and to the saved as well, these things can be a wake-up call — we all have a time limit, it is not guaranteed that we will live a certain number of years, and we need to be ready to meet eternity at any moment.

Some organizations are already collecting for needed relief efforts (please be careful — unfortunately, scam artists come out in droves at times like this), and beyond that, we can pray:

  • for those who are trapped to be found and rescued.
  • for communications to be restored.
  • for word to arrive about friends and loved ones there.
  • for medical help to arrive.
  • for wisdom for those coordinating relief efforts.
  • for wisdom for those like the Livesays who are there, that they might know the best ways to help.
  • for the physical needs.
  • for the spiritual needs: comfort, grace, and for those who do not know God to find Him.

Finding God’s will for your life

My oldest son is in a Sunday School class for young adults, and he says quite often guest teachers who come will speak on the topic of finding God’s will for your life. That age group is in the midst of or on the brink of making major life decisions, so it makes sense that a speaker would think that’s the kind of information they need to know. And they do — but it does get tiring hearing it over and over again with few explorations from the rest of God’s Word, and he was frustrated that so often the advice was to simply read your Bible, pray, and be willing to do whatever God wants you to do.

Those are the most important and basic components. But there are other considerations and practical helps as well.

A few years ago it was a “hot topic” in many churches that perhaps God doesn’t have a specific will for your life (what line of work, where to live, whom to marry, etc.): perhaps He leaves the choices to you. Proponents of that line of thinking would say something like, “Do we really believe God has a will for every part of our day, even down to what cereal we eat?” And because it seemed ridiculous to them to think that God wouldn’t expect us to use the powers of reason He gave us to make those kinds of decisions, it seemed to follow that He would expect us to do the same with life’s major decisions.

God did give us powers of reason and expects us to use them. In the December 6 reading of Our Daily Walk by F. B. Meyer, he writes:

There is every reason why we should employ the faculties of judgment and choice. When Samuel sent the young Saul away, he said, “Thou shalt do as occasion shall serve thee”; we are also told of Peter, that when the angel left him, he considered the matter, and came to Mary’s house.

But God’s purpose is behind all human decisions. There must be room for man to devise his steps, else we should become automatons. But all our volitions and choices must be ultimately subjected to the Rule and Will of the Most High. Let us commit our works and ways to God. We must roll our burden and ourselves on our faithful Creator.

While it is true that God expects us to use the minds He gave us,  there are too many instances of God’s specific will in the Bible to say He doesn’t ever have such. He wanted David, not his brothers, to be king; He wanted Solomon, not David, to build the temple; He wanted Mary to bear the Christ child; He directed Paul away from a specific area in his missions trip, etc..

Proverbs 16:9 says, “A man’s heart devises his way: but the Lord directs his steps.” I think the key must be along the lines of praying and seeking God’s will, asking Him to guide in choices and decisions.

It would be really nice if we could go to an oracle or prophet like they did in Old Testament times, or hear the direct voice of God as some did in Scripture, but God does not usually choose to reveal His will in those ways these days. Why? I am not sure of all the reasons, but I think one must be that in the process of seeking His will we draw nearer to Him, and we evaluate and pray over aspects of our life that we might not otherwise.

What follows is not a scholarly treatise but rather the outworking of my own thoughts on the matter.

Steps to finding God’s will

Read your Bible and pray. 🙂 OK, I did say that was basic. That does not mean we’ll find the name of the college, major, or spouse for our lives written either explicitly or in code there. But the more we’re walking with Him, aware of what He has already revealed and how He has worked in other people’s lives, getting to know Him better, in tune with how He thinks, the more easily He can lead us, and the more we’ll have the basis for making godly decisions in our own thinking.

Conversely, Psalm 1:1-2 says, “Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.” If we’re taking in more of what the unsaved world says than what God says, it stands to reason that our thinking will be colored by them and not by Him.

Be willing to do whatever God wants. This is basic as well. In John 7:17 Jesus said, “If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself.” Though this verse is talking about doctrine, I think the principle is true as well that if we’re willing to do His will, He will be willing to show us. There have been instances where God showed His will to someone who was unwilling — Moses and Jonah are two that come to mind — but overall it is easier if one is willing at the outset.

What do you want to do? This is actually a little trickier than it sounds. Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” That doesn’t mean He will give you everything your little heart desires, because He knows some things you want would not be good for you. But if you’re truly delighting in Him, He will place the right desires within your heart. And it only stands to reason that whatever He wants you to do, He will give you an inclination toward, an aptitude for. But the tricky part is that sometimes you don’t have the desire to do what He wants you to. Moses comes to mind again as does Jeremiah. As they obeyed God, He did transform their desires. But there are times when what God wants you to do seems daunting, and it takes trust that He will give the enabling you know you don’t have yet.

Ask others. Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.” A parent, trusted teacher, pastor, or a mature friend (not the one who is going to tell you what you want to hear) can give you insight into what they think your aptitudes are. Some schools (and probably other places) have tests that you can take to help ascertain where your skills lie.

Try different things. This will give you experience in different areas which will help reveal where your gifts and talents are as well as help you develop needed skills.

For example, for years my husband and I worked with the children’s ministry in our church when our children were in it. He was really good at it; I did not enjoy it so much, but I could do it, and I did like that it was something we could do as a family. But one year the secretary of the organization asked for my help, and I discovered I loved the behind the scenes organizational work. I felt like I finally found my niche for that time in my life: I could still participate with my family, but in a way that was better suited to my particular personality and gifts.

Serve faithfully where you are. Joseph could not have known, as a favored son, as a servant, or as a prisoner, that one day he would be second in command to Pharaoh, but in every situation he did his best. Even in prison he manifested a cheerful attitude, a concern for others and a dependence on God. David could not have known, as a young shepherd boy, that one day he would be the king of Israel, but his early experiences gave him vital training that would translate into being a good leader as well as time to meditate on the things of the Lord and get to know Him in a way that was foundational to the rest of his life.

Another aspect of this principle is the saying that “It is easier to steer a car that is moving than one that is parked.” There are times to be still, to get alone and pray and think, to wait, but often God reveals His will while we’re faithfully doing the job at hand. The Biblical figures I’ve mentioned above as well as most of the prophets and disciples were all “called” in that way. Abraham’s servant, when sent to find a bride for Isaac, testified, “I being in the way, the LORD led me” (Genesis 24:27).

Open doors. Explore the possibilities that are open to you. Though we’re blessed to have multitudes of opportunities and freedom to choose (in the sense of not being expected to follow our ancestors in a certain trade), sometimes the wide array of choices can make it even harder to narrow down what options we should pursue. But as you search for a job, for example, you explore the options at hand, whether through the local want ads or job recruitment businesses or sites or personal leads from people you know, sift and sort through them until you find a few that seem to click with you, and then follow those possibilities as far as you can until you have some idea whether or not they are for you. An open door doesn’t necessarily mean you should keep going until you go through it, but it is a good indicator; likewise a closed door is a pretty good indicator that that job or possibility was not for you, but then again, it may just mean that the time is not right yet.

Check for “blockage” in your communication with the Lord. There are some things that hinder our prayers from being answered.

Often people speak of having “a peace” about a certain decision as an indication or confirmation that that decision was from the Lord. I am not sure where that principle comes from Scripturally unless it is based on Colossians 3:15: “Let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.” The context of that verse, though, has to do with interpersonal relationships rather than finding the will of God. And I think we can safely say that a feeling of peace doesn’t always accompany the revelation of God’s will (Moses again comes to mind as well as others.) But there is something, though  I hate to call it a feeling: maybe a settledness would be a better word, or an assurance that this is the right way to go. God rarely reveals His whole will for your life as a blueprint for you to then follow, but He usually leads step by step. There may be opportunities, whether in a job, a ministry, a potential mate, where everything seems like this would be a good choice, but there is something in your spirit that just doesn’t feel settled about it. It may just be fear or nervousness, but I wouldn’t move forward until you’ve had time to try to discern whether that is the case or whether that’s the Lord’s leading that this is not His will.

To try to sum it up, I would say that finding God’s will involves doing all you know to be His will currently, staying in close communication with Him through His Word and prayer, exploring the opportunities available to you, not expecting an audible response or a “revelation,” but trusting that He will guide through circumstances, counsel of others, and His impressions on your heart.

To give a couple of personal examples, when I was a student at a Christian college with almost 6.000 other young people and felt pretty sure my future mate was there somewhere, I was almost overwhelmed, wondering how in the world we would ever find each other. But I had to trust that the Lord would lead our paths together. Once Jim and I did start dating, I had trouble with knowing for sure whether he was “the one.” But after a lot of prayer and searching, I realized that I had prayed, just before he asked me out the first time, that only the guys would ask me out whom the Lord wanted me to go out with, and I had been seeking and wanting His leading all along. There every reason to believe that He had led me to this point and this man.

That story and part of my struggle with what to do with my life is told here, but I always knew I wanted to be a wife and mother, though I did have to wrestle with being surrendered to the Lord if that was not His will for me. At various times in my life I also wanted to be a teacher, a psychologist, a writer, a missionary, and I don’t remember what all else. As I explored those options, one by one they fell away. As I began to serve in my local church, I eventually became involved with the ladies’ missionary fellowship. As I mentioned before, other experiences seemed to indicate to me that I was more of a “behind the scenes” person. I loved what I did within that niche. Then one day while at a Bible Conference, the preacher of the hour (I’ve forgotten who) spoke about those who helped Paul along the way in his missionary journeys. My heart just leapt in response to what he was saying and I felt this was my calling.

Even in “smaller” decisions, like the theme for the annual ladies’ luncheon, as I pray about it, I’ll jot down several ideas that come to mind, then think and pray over those ideas til one seems to stand out. I’ll do the same with speakers, and then contact the ladies I have in mind until I come to the one who is willing and whose schedule is free. With this and other decisions, it’s not so much that there are lights flashing, arrows pointing, an audible “Yes! That’s it!” But seeking God’s leading all along, sifting through the possibilities, one rises in my mind, and I follow that lead until it becomes clear that it is the way to go or that it is not an option.

I hope and trust that this has been a help, not for my own children, for whom I have prayed for the Lord’ leading all their lives, but for anyone else who happens upon it.

Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee. Psalm 143:8.

The meek will he guide in judgment: and the meek will he teach his way.
Psalm 25:9.

For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name’s sake lead me, and guide me. Psalm 31:3.

I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye. Psalm 32:8.

Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory. Psalm 73:24.

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6.

Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore. Psalm 16:11.

Rest

Rest,
The Lord is near.
Refuse to fear.
Enjoy His love.

Trust
His mighty power
Fills every hour
Of all your days.

There is no need
For needless worry.
With such a Savior,
You have no cause
To ever doubt.
His perfect Word
Still reassures
In every trial.

Rest,
The Lord is there.
Lift up your prayer.
Let Him be strong.

Trust.
He’ll bring release
And perfect peace
Will calm your mind.

There is no need
For needless worry.
With such a Savior
You have no cause
To ever doubt.
His perfect word
Still reassures
In any trial.

Call Him if you are frightened,
Call Him with loving care.
He’ll lift your burden and you’ll rest.

The Lord is near.
Refuse to fear.
Enjoy His love.

Trust,
His mighty power
Fills every hour
Of all your days.

Rest,
The Lord is near,
No need to fear,
Enjoy His love.
Enjoy His love.

For thus saith the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel;
In returning and rest shall ye be saved;
in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength. Isaiah 30:15a.

Prayer for the New Year

O Lord,
Length of days does not profit me
except the days are passed in Thy presence,
in Thy service, to Thy glory.
Give me a grace that precedes, follows, guides,
sustains, sanctifies, aids every hour,
that I may not be one moment apart from Thee,
but may rely on Thy Spirit
to supply every thought,
speak in every word,
direct every step,
prosper every work,
build up every mote of faith,
and give me a desire
to show forth Thy praise;
testify Thy love,
advance Thy kingdom.

I launch my bark on the unknown waters of this year,
with Thee, O Father as my harbour,
Thee, O Son, at my helm,
Thee O Holy Spirit, filling my sails.
Guide me to heaven with my loins girt,
my lamp burning,
my ear open to Thy calls,
my heart full of love,
my soul free.

Give me Thy grace to sanctify me,
Thy comforts to cheer,
Thy wisdom to teach,
Thy right hand to guide,
Thy counsel to instruct,
Thy law to judge,
Thy presence to stabilize.
May Thy fear by my awe,
Thy triumphs my joy.

From The Valley of Vision

Seen at Challies.

Ah, Dearest Jesus

Ah, dearest Jesus, holy Child,
Make Thee a bed, soft, undefiled
Within my heart, that it may be
A quiet chamber kept for Thee.

My heart for very joy doth leap,
My lips no more can silence keep;
I, too, must sing with joyful tongue
That sweetest ancient cradle song.

Glory to God in highest Heaven,
Who unto man His Son hath given;
While angels sing with tender mirth,
A glad new year to all the earth.

— Martin Luther

Merry Christmas!

For God, the Lord of Earth and Heaven,
So loved and longed to see forgiven
The world, in sin and pleasure mad,
That He gave the greatest Gift He had,
His only begotten Son, to take our place,
That whosoever – oh, what grace!–
Believeth, placing simple trust
In Him, the righteous and the just,
Should not perish lost in sin
But have everlasting life in Him.

— Author unknown

Wishing you all a wonderful day of fun, family, feasting, and especially remembering the birth of our Savior.

Christmas version of I Corinthians 13

I posted this three years ago, but I need the reminder every year:

1 CORINTHIANS 13 – – A CHRISTMAS VERSION –

By an unknown author

If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love, I’m just another decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love, I’m just another cook.

If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love, it profits me nothing.

If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir’s cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.

Love stops the cooking to hug the child.
Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband.
Love is kind, though harried and tired.

Love doesn’t envy another’s home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.

Love doesn’t yell at the kids to get out of the way, but is thankful they are there to be in the way.

Love doesn’t give only to those who are able to give in return but rejoices in giving to those who can’t.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails.

Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust, but giving the gift of love will endure.

Pre-Christmas Ruminations

On all those memes asking if we might have a white Christmas, I mentioned it wasn’t likely here in SC. We had about five minutes of snow yesterday, but then rain for most of the day, turning to slush with ice pellets by evening. Even before the ice, the rain was kind of a miserable cold rain and the wind alternated between turning my umbrella inside out or pushing it on top of my head. By the way, I learned that when your umbrella does get inverted, it doesn’t help much to try to pull on it to get it back down, but aiming it in the direction the wind is coming from helps the wind push it back down.

I persevered because I really wanted to get done, partly because I wasn’t sure what the weather would be like today, partly because I try to avoid malls and W-Mart on pre-Christmas Saturdays, and partly because we have Special Plans (not involving Christmas) for next week — which I’ll wait to tell you about until afterward! 😀 I’ll explain why then.

Janet at Across the Page posted an excerpt from C. S. Lewis’s thoughts on Christmas. Here is just one part:

You have only to stay over Christmas with a family who seriously try to ‘keep’ it (in its third, or commercial, aspect) in order to see that the thing is a nightmare. Long before December 25th everyone is worn out — physically worn out by weeks of daily struggle in overcrowded shops, mentally worn out by the effort to remember all the right recipients and to think out suitable gifts for them. They are in no trim for merry-making; much less (if they should want to) to take part in a religious act. They look far more as if there had been a long illness in the house.

I have certainly had Christmas seasons like that, where it felt more burdensome than joyful. I liked all the individual elements, but all together with the extra events on the calendar and all the regular everyday responsibilities just created too much pressure.

We’ve scaled back in the gift-giving department. We used to give to all the nieces and nephews until they got to the age where you never knew what they’d like and never heard back from them. It was fairly easy when they were little and were satisfied with any toy. Then they married and started having their own kids, and there just got to be too many people to keep up with. We used to give to my siblings (Jim is the youngest in his family and they stopped giving to each other long before) and their husbands, but eventually it became the same issue — too many people and no real knowledge of what anyone would like. Living 1,000 miles away, we’re not aware of the everyday things they could use or would like, and just trading gift cards seemed useless to me. Then sending packages costs extra time and money. We tried drawing names one year and it just didn’t go over well, though that works for many families. So eventually we just phased out everyone but our kids, parents, and a few close friends.

So that helps a lot. I love giving, but as Lewis pointed out, the gift-giving of olden days was much less than it is now, and it is not the main point.

Getting started early helps, too. I keep saying I am going to do my Christmas cards Thanksgiving weekend, but haven’t yet. I need to do better in this department.

Online shopping has helped a lot, as well. It’s much easier to search a store site for a size or color that I need rather than looking through every.pair.of.pants in a store to find the elusive sizes my menfolk need. But other things really need to be seen and handled in person before making a decision. Now that my guys are older and into geeky technology stuff, my husband buys most of that kind of thing because he know much more about what it is or where to find it than I do, and that helps a lot.

Also, some years we haven’t gone to every party and program available, either. I enjoyed all of them once we got there, but the preponderance of extra things to attend can create pressure in itself.

I’ve learned, too, that though I’ve sometimes felt too rushed or pressured for regular devotions, I must continue to take that time, no matter what else does or doesn’t get done. I can’t expect to have God’s peace or the right attitudes or perspective without it. I’ve mentioned before that I am reading the devotional book Come Thou Long Expected Jesus, which I hope to say more about next week, but I can see its use becoming a yearly tradition.

A great post along these lines I just discovered yesterday through a reference on Facebook: 3 Ways to Put the “Merry” in “Merry Christmas“ at Women Living Well. I heartily recommend it.

From an old Generous Wife newsletter I kept this quote:

In planning for your holidays, realize that your husband would love to have a peaceful, happy wife.  Work to scale back and simplify your holiday plans (grab a pad and pencil, write down everything that you plan to do, circle and do the really important stuff, cut back on the rest or cross it off your list altogether).  Being an unfrazzled wife is one of the kindest gifts you can give your husband for the holidays.  You really don’t have to do it all.

Though it is from a wife’s perspective, it is true for everyone — it’s good to be an unfrazzled friend, church member, co-worker, sibling, etc.

So whatever we do or don’t do, however we scale down or not, each individual and family needs to find what works best for them to keep the right balance, perspective and joy of the season.

I also wanted to share with you this sweet video I saw on Chrysalis yesterday. It’s made by a family with seven children who are missionaries in Haiti, though I couldn’t tell from their site what kind of missionaries they are. Their children portray the Christmas story — with real donkey and lambs! — but the highlight is the little seven-year-old girl singing with a beautiful, clear voice. Her “Glory to God” has been echoing in my mind ever since I heard it. It’s a nicely done video and the kids are all precious.