Missing something? No, I don’t think so after all.

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When we were preparing to move last summer, I unearthed a whole stack of family-oriented magazines from several years back. In more recent years I had marked and torn out what I was interested in (or checked and bookmarked the article online) and then passed it on to a friend, but this stack must have accumulated and then been forgotten before I started doing that.

I brought them with us to look through as I had time and just got to them last week. Many had turned-down corners noting something I wanted to consider doing with my own sons. I started looking at the dates of the magazines: many were from the time my youngest was in his toddler to preschool to early elementary years.

At first I started to kick myself and feel really guilty that I had never done all these neat activities with my children.

But then, I thought, “Now, wait just a minute!” We did do lots of things together:

We sat on the floor and made Lego creations.

We read books. Lots and lots of books. We made regular trips to the library and every library day afternoon was spent in happy reading all the new treasures.

We built tracks and loops for Hot Wheels cars.

We did puzzles.

We colored and painted.

We made various Play-Dough creations.

We had a multitude of Little People sets, thanks to my mom, and played seemingly endless scenarios with them.

We played untold rounds of a game called something like Memory Match (like Concentration from my childhood), Hi Ho Cheerio, Sorry, Candyland, and other games.

We took walks.

We went to the park.

We visited friends.

We played in the sandbox.

We blew bubbles.

We went to the zoo.

Even going to the grocery store was considered fun at certain ages.

We may not have done some of those neat unique activities in the magazines, but we did a lot of fun things and spent a lot of time together. I’ve thought to myself that I hoped that my lack of keeping up with baby books as I would have liked was due to my actually spending time with my kids.

Were those magazines a waste, then? I don’t think so. I did use some ideas over the years, but even the ones I missed using had a positive influence. Just like visiting a craft store or craft show or craft blogs sparks my own creative juices even if I never do the specific crafts I see, I think family magazines and idea books and these days mommy blogs can inspire my own goals with my family. But they need to be kept as an inspiration, a creativity-sparker, a supplement to our own real lives, not a burden, a guilt-producer, a competition against other moms and kids, an addition to an already crowded schedule.

As long as we’re spending both quality time and quantities of time together, nourishing our relationships, learning and growing, we don’t have to worry that we’re not keeping up with whatever everyone else does. Attentive time together is what matters most.

This post will be linked to “Works For Me Wednesday,” where you can find a plethora of helpful hints each week at We Are THAT family on Wednesdays, as well as  Women Living Well.

Book Review: Lady in Waiting

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Lady in Waiting by Susan Meissner caught my eye when both Susanne and Quilly highly recommended it.

It’s a dual story of two Janes. Jane Lindsay’s husband unexpectedly walks out on her, and she is stunned. They had been married twenty-two years, and she thought everything was fine. Giving him the space he says he wants, she occupies herself with her antique business, confiding in her friend, who urges her to see a counselor, yet trying to keep the situation from her meddlesome mother. She finds an unusual, very old ring in the binding of an old book, a ring that happens to have her name engraved inside it, along with a phrase in Latin. Intrigued, Jane tries to learn who her namesake might be.

Lucy Day becomes the new dressmaker to a very young Lady Jane Grey and assists her for the next several years, becoming as close a friend and confidant as their two different stations will allow. Lady Jane’s entire life seems to be under the control of others, and as events unfold and political forces begin to swirl, Lucy fears not only for her lady’s happiness, but for her life.

Both Janes seem to be victims of their circumstances and the choices of others, but both find, as the back of the book says, they each have “far more influence over her life than she once imagined. It all comes down to the choices each makes despite the realities they face.”

Lady Jane Grey is one whose circumstances I could never remember, though I thought she came to an untimely end. But I am sure that from now on I’ll remember her story. Though Lucy and the ring and Jane’s possible love interest are all fictional, Susan Meissner paints a realistic portrait of the kind of person Jane might have been.

I could empathize with Jane Lindsay’s situation as well and wanted to defend her against everyone else and cheered her on in her journey. Though I appreciated the way the author ended with a glimmer of the future rather than neatly tying the story up, I didn’t want my time with Jane to end: I wanted to see what happened down the road!

Susan Meissner did an excellent job weaving the two stories together and bringing out the theme. Different points or subtexts keep coming to mind from the story even after finishing it. This is the first of Meissner’s books that I’ve read, but it definitely will not be the last.

(This review will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

What’s On Your Nightstand: May

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What's On Your NightstandThe folks at 5 Minutes For Books host What’s On Your Nightstand? the fourth Tuesday of each month in which we can share about the books we have been reading and/or plan to read. You can learn more about it by clicking the link or the button.

It’s been a busy month, but I’ve been able to get some good reading in.

Since last time I finished:

A Novel Idea: Everything You Need to Know about Writing Inspirational Fiction, reviewed here. Probably a must-read if you’re thinking of writing Christian fiction.

Women’s Ministry in the Local Church by Ligon Duncan and Susan Hunt. Hope to have a review up soon.

Leaving by Karen Kingsbury, first in a new series with Bailey Flanigan from previous series.

Love Finds You in Camelot, Tennessee by Janice Hanna, a fun romantic comedy but with some depth as well, reviewed here with Leaving.

Words by Ginny Yttrup, destined to be one of my top ten books of the year, I believe, reviewed here.

Lady in Waiting by Susan Meissner, reviewed here. Just finished this one yesterday and hope to review it soon. Loved it.

Currently reading:

The Deepest Waters by Dan Walsh.

Up next:

The Judgment by Beverly Lewis, second in The Rose Trilogy.

Mine Is the Night by Liz Curtis Higgs.

The Judgment is the last of my Spring Reading Thing list unless I want to add more of the non-fiction I was considering. But I have a whole list of recommended books to choose from as well.

The Week In Words

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Welcome to The Week In Words, where we share quotes from the last week’s reading. If something you read this past week  inspired you, caused you to laugh, cry, think, dream, or just resonated with you in some way, please share it with us, attributing it to its source, which can be a book, newspaper, blog, Facebook — anything that you read. More information is here.

Here are a few that stood out to me this week:

I saw this on Lisa‘s Twitter sidebar:

“When you labor to show yourself righteous so that God will accept you, you are not submitting to God’s righteousness.” -John Piper

Paul says he wants to “be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith” (Philippians 3:9). There are whole systems built on laboring to be righteous to “gain” God’s acceptance, but even those of us who should know better tend to fall back into that mindset sometimes. I am so glad God’s righteousness is by faith.

Seen at Challies:

There can be no victory where there is no combat. —Richard Sibbes

I tend to want victory without having to expend the effort of combat, and it just doesn’t work that way.

And I hadn’t realized it t first, but these quotes might seem to be opposites. How can we expend victory by effort (or combat) if spiritual victory is by faith? Well, the first quote deals with the righteousness we need to stand before a holy God and not be condemned but rather approved, and Christ’s righteousness is the only kind that will suffice. That we receive by faith. We can’t earn it or work it up on our own. With that righteousness we can stand before a holy God without fear. But working that out into our everyday lives is what we call sanctification. Even that is accomplished by faith, and yet there are times God asks us to act on something in faith. In some of Israel’s battles in the Old Testament, God fought for them in unusual ways; in others, they had to actually take up sword and spear and shield and go to battle, yet they had no victory unless God enabled them. So even though my standing before God and his acceptance of me is by faith, in everyday battles, like, say, eating right and getting exercise, I still lean on Him for grace and strength, but I still have to expend effort: my body isn’t going to exercise itself, God isn’t going to exercise it for me, and I am not going to have any victory in weight loss without expending some effort at it. Someone once said “God will help you with your math homework, but He is not going to do it for you.”

I know many of you already know these principles, but I just felt I needed to explain further for anyone who might be confused by those two statements.

In another vein, this struck me from Warren Wiersbe’s With the Word, p. 293, commenting on Job 21, particularly Job’s “friends” trying to tell him that his suffering must be because of sin because God prospers the righteous:

If comfort and wealth are evidences of holiness, our Lord was not holy, for He had little earthly comfort and wealth, and He died a terrible death on the cross. Perhaps you need to examine your own “logic” and see if you are thinking like God or like the devil (Ps. 1:1; Matt. 16:21-28).

I don’t know how the “prosperity gospel” people miss things like that.

If you’ve read anything that particularly spoke to you that you’d like to share, please either list it in the comments below or write a post on your blog and then put the link to that post (not your general blog link) in Mr. Linky below. I do ask that only family-friendly quotes be included. I hope you’ll visit some of the other participants as well and glean some great thoughts to ponder.

Don’t forget to leave a comment, even if you don’t have any quotes to share! 🙂

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Watch therefore: for ye know not what hour your Lord doth come.

Therefore be ye also ready: for in such an hour as ye think not the Son of man cometh.

Matthew 24:42, 44

Laudable Linkage

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Wow, it’s been a super-busy week — I can’t believe it’s the weekend already.

Here are a variety of interesting things seen ’round the Web over the last couple of weeks:

Gentleness: a forgotten virtue, HT to Challies.

You are my sunshine. Sweet, tender.

Parenting 001. Hilarious and wise at the same time.

Praying for a Pearl. We’ve often heard about praying for our children’s future mate, but what about their future mother-in-law?

What Not to Wear — no, not the TV show, but a little bit different take on modesty.

Everyday Theology: You Need to Feed Yourself. Similar thoughts to what I had in “Not Being Fed.”

Why Won’t God Just Tell Me What to Do?

Animals with stuffed animals — if you need a dose of cuteness.

Preschool Teacher Appreciation Card.

Ten Terrific Teacher Gifts.

Ideas for Graduation Celebrations.

More Graduation Party Ideas.

A Craft Suitcase — a neat idea for storing or transporting certain craft stuff.

Thought this was really cute even though it’s past Mother’s Day. I don’t think I’m this bad! But I do still need help on many things and am thankful for my techno-competent sons being willing to.

Kids, DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME! Seriously! (Or adults either, for that matter!)

This is totally too cute:

Happy Saturday!

Friday’s Fave Five

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Welcome to Friday’s Fave Five, hosted by Susanne at Living to Tell the Story, in which we can share five of our favorite things from the last week. This has been a wonderful exercise in looking for and appreciating the good things God blesses us with. Click on the button to learn more, then go to Susanne’s to read others’ faves and link up your own.

This will be one of those weeks where it is hard to narrow it down to five. Here goes:

1. Baby-back ribs. This has become my entree of choice at a few restaurants, and that and an excellent salad made for a scrumptious meal out last Friday night at a local place. The only bad thing about the meal was that the noise level inside the restaurant was insanely loud to me.

2. Voyage of the Dawn-Treader. We finally saw this DVD and loved it. It’s been too long since I’ve read the book to remember whether it followed it as closely as I like for films to do, but the film itself was a feast.

3. Mother-daughter luncheon at our church last Saturday. Nicely done. It was a little strange not to have a hand in this one! I did think about calling to see if they needed help, but as it turned out it was best I didn’t this time.

4. Visit from a dear friend. My friend Valorie, one of my oldest (in terms of how long we’ve known each other, not age. 🙂 ) and dearest friends, came up with her dad for just a quick visit. He was visiting her in SC and had friends about an hour from us here in TN, so they came up Sunday in time for dinner and then stayed overnight before going on to see her dad’s friends Monday, and even took me out for breakfast before they got on the road. We met way back in early married days and had kids around the same time (with her having all girls and me having all boys, you’d think there would have been one romance in there somewhere…). Val hosted my baby shower, and then when we had our first kids we lived down the street from one another and shared many walks with babies in strollers and lunches and visits to the park and breakfasts where the buffet was $2.99 and kids ate free. 🙂 It was so good to see each other and catch up a bit.

5. Unsolicited help. This past was weekend unexpectedly busy — it hadn’t clicked in my mind that with Jesse’s Junior-Senior banquet and everything involved there Friday night and then the Mother-Daughter Luncheon Saturday, time for cleaning was going to be tight. Val and I have seen each other’s houses at their worst over the years, but, still, you want to get the basics done before anyone comes over! But you can only clean so much early on without having to do it all over again before company comes. I had to head to the store after the luncheon and naively thought I’d finish my cleaning after that. While I was out my husband saw my list and got most of the tasks done on it for me. I’m not opposed to men helping around the house, but when he works 60+ hours a week and has his own lists of things he needs to do on the weekend, I figure cleaning the house on my own is the least I can do, so I don’t generally ask for help unless I’m in a bind. It was such a blessing that he pitched in and took care of those things for me.

So after a super-busy weekend, the rest of this week has been a lighter, thankfully. We have a few things coming up this next week, and then school’s out and our schedule immediately slows down! Though I miss my alone time in the summers, I do like not having to set the alarm clock and having a generally more relaxed schedule.

Hot off the press bonus: I mentioned a couple of weeks ago a serendipitous encounter that might lead to a job for Jason….I just found out that he did get the job!!! He had gone to one place to submit a resume only to find that the business he was looking for was no longer in that office. But as he talked with the man who was there, this man said he had been considering hiring someone: he had been handling his business alone and wanted to expand at some point. They talked, he had Jason do a couple of assignments to check out what he could do, he looked into what he would have to do as an employer to hire someone — and Jason just got the call this morning that the job was his. Praise the Lord!

Have a great weekend!

Book Review: A Novel Idea

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Those of you who read here regularly know I’ve been working on reading A Novel Idea: Everything You Need to Know about Writing Inspirational Fiction a bit at a time in-between other books. I felt I’d get more out of it that way than reading it all at once. I finally finished it this week!

This book is a treasure trove for anyone considering writing Christian fiction. A multitude of published authors, from well-known names like Karen Kingsbury, Francine Rivers, Robin Lee Hatcher, and Randy Alcorn, to authors I’ve heard of but haven’t read yet, to some I’ve not heard of at all, have all contributed chapters that make up this book.

The chapters cover just about everything you might like to know, like how to map out the plot, how to develop characters, point of view, finding your own “voice,” the characteristics and nuances of Christian fiction, how not to make it “preachy,” all the way down to writing proposals and networking.

If you click on either the linked title or the book above, then click “Additional views” and then “Next,” you’ll see a list of the table of contents along with the author who contributed each chapter.

It would be impossible in one little review to give you an overall flavor of the book since it covers so much material by so many authors, but I wanted to bring out just a couple of morsels that particularly stood out to me.

In Robin Lee Hatcher’s chapter “How I Felt God Calling Me to Write For Him,” she shares that she had a career in the secular market, but as she contemplated writing Christian fiction, she wondered, “Can’t I reach more lost people with a Christian worldview in my secular books than I can writing for those who are already Christians? Isn’t writing for the Christian market preaching to the choir?”

The answer she sensed from the Lord was, “Yes. And the choir is sick.”

Very true. I know in my own life, not only do I read for fun and enrichment, but Christian fiction has convicted and instructed me as well.

Ron Benrey has some great thoughts in his chapter “Distinctives of Christian Fiction,” especially a section about unrealistic Christianity and Christian characters.

An especially intriguing chapter is Athol Dickson’s “Evil in Fiction.” One charge I’ve heard against Christian fiction is it’s not being gritty or edgy enough (though I think most of it that I have read does well enough), but Athol reminds us “of the novelist’s most powerful tool, the reader’s imagination” (p. 221) and the need to avoid “[becoming] part of the problem we set out to solve” (p. 225) by including too much evil or too much detail. Yet evil must be included both to be real and to provide plot and motivation. But Athol advises:

To the extent that evil titillates or revolts his readers, the author has failed. Titillation makes his readers a friend of the very thing the author wants them to oppose alongside Christ. Revulsion shuts down readers’ imaginations, because when they look away, the novelist has lost them (p. 224).

Instead, he advises, aim for “hatred of the evil and a deep desire to see it vanquished ” (p. 223). And remember “A writer shows the deeper truth of evil best by shining light most brightly on what is good, while never letting readers forget what waits within the shadows” (p. 222).

Good stuff.

This book is filled with good stuff, and it is going on my shelf to be referred to often.

If you have any inclination toward writing Christian fiction, this book is an invaluable tool. And some of the chapters, like that on evil, might even be enlightening to those who read Christian fiction without a desire to write it.

(This review will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

Wednesday Hodgepodge

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Joyce From This Side of the Pond hosts a weekly Wednesday Hodgepodge of questions for fun and for getting to know each other.

Here are the questions for this week:

1. What reveals more about a woman-her refrigerator or her purse?

I think the refrigerator. My purse is full of things that I think have to be there, so there’s not much choice involved except brands. But people’s preferences in food and drink are interesting.

2. When was the last time you went to the zoo? Where? What’s your favorite zoo animal?

Oh, let’s see — maybe when we lived near Atlanta and went to the big zoo there. That’s the last time I remember, but then Jesse would have been under 4 years old, so he wouldn’t have any memory of going to a zoo, and that’s sad. Maybe we did go when we were in SC again, but I don’t remember. The zoo was in a town 30 minutes away, so it wasn’t something we’d just pick up and do. Hollywild Animal Park in SC set up drive-through Christmas light displays that we went to for several years, though, and they had a petting zoo. Favorite zoo animal? Maybe the giraffes. They’re just so unique.

3. What social issue fires you up?

I am not sure what constitutes a social issue, but if abortion is one, that would be it. It’s just so hard to understand people not understanding that a life is involved.

4. Are you a coupon clipper? If so, are you extreme?

I clip them once every few months and sometimes even remember to file them, but often forget them when I dash off to go shopping. So the next time I clip and file, I throw away the expired ones and lament the money I could have saved. I just hate to mess with them, especially the ones that have persnickety restrictions.

5. What is one of your favorite souvenirs brought back from your travels?

A little heart shaped ornament from Asheville, NC.

6. Lemon meringue or key lime?

Lemon meringue. Not a big lime-flavor fan, though I do like lime jello just very occasionally. Not a big jello fan, either. 🙂

7. What is the most beautiful word you know in any language?

Love.

8. Insert your own random thought here.

These are the kinds of conversations that go on in my head sometimes:

We’re having a cold snap now, but a few days ago the temperatures were at the level that I needed the AC on in the car for a bit, but then it would be too cold and I’d have to turn it off, then back on, etc. I remember thinking, “The dial on the AC setting needs one more notch between the lowest setting and ‘Off.'”

Then I thought: “You should be ashamed of yourself for being so picky and discontent. Some people don’t even have AC. Be grateful for what you’ve got.”

And then, “Yeah, but being content doesn’t mean we never see things that need improvement or let people know who could work out the improvements. Contentment doesn’t mean we sit around mindlessly grinning and never advance.”

It’s interesting….

Book Review: Words

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Words by Ginny Yttrup came highly recommended by Quilly, (and maybe one or two others whom I can’t remember) and her review as well as the first few paragraphs she had posted from the book drew me in immediately.

I was going to say this at the end but thought perhaps since some of you might feel the same way that I should say at the beginning that normally I would not pick up a book which has abuse a big factor because it would either make me very angry or very sad (or both), and because some books sensationalize it. But Ginny does not sensationalize: unfortunately she speaks from sad and all too real experience, yet her book is as much about healing as it is abuse.

Ten year old Kaylee has lost her words, her voice: she hasn’t been able to speak since her mom left, abandoning her to the care of the mom’s boyfriend — though you could hardly call it “care.” The boyfriend, Jack, not only neglects to take care of Kaylee, but he does unspeakable things to her. Kaylee stays because she has nowhere else to go, no resources, no help, but also she wants to be there in case her mom comes back. Meanwhile, she takes refuge in a dictionary that belonged to her mother, savoring words and their meanings and storing them up in her mind.

Sierra is a woman in her thirties who cannot forgive herself for a wayward period in her past that caused great pain to her family and the loss of her daughter’s life twelve years earlier. She tries to bury the pain that is too raw to bring to light and expresses herself in her art, but those who love her worry that she’s going to crack if she continues to keep her emotions inside. Though she has amended her ways, she has not returned to the God of her childhood.

God brings Kaylee and Sierra together in their vulnerability and works in and through each of them to bring healing through the Word, Jesus Christ.

It’s hard to believe this is Ginny’s first novel: she does a masterful job not only telling the story in a compelling but not maudlin way but also in layering various subtexts throughout the plot. The book is riveting, hard to put down, eloquent, and full of depth.

I especially appreciated one section in which Sierra realizes that oft-misapplied John 8:32 (“And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”) isn’t just referring to telling personal truth, but to the fact that Jesus is the truth that heals and frees us.

This book is one of my favorites read this year, and I can’t recommend it highly enough.

Here is the book trailer:

And a short interview with the author:

(This review will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)