Little things

It’s funny — I’ve been pondering a post about my tendency to overreact get frustrated and upset over little things, and I was trying to find the quote below by Amy Carmichael. I thought I had written about it before, and when I searched and found this post, I was convicted and instructed all over again. This was better than what I had in mind to write now. This is from August 2007. Obviously I haven’t completely learned the lesson yet. Maybe I should read this regularly.

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Sometimes it seems easier to trust the Lord for the big trials of life rather than the little things.

When a major crisis comes my way, I realize it’s too big for me. I’m acutely aware of my need for God’s grace and strength. I feel myself sinking, like Peter, and cry out for help almost instinctively.

But when I encounter some smaller provocation — when someone interrupts what I am doing; when I’m trying to wrap up computer time or I’m just logging in for something quickly and my computer decides to run extremely slowly or “time out” on the connections I am trying to make; when I am running late to an appointment and hit every red light along the way; when another driver cuts me off; when I am in a hurry at the grocery store and find the shortest check-out line only to have the customer in front of me encounter some time-consuming problem; when I give dinner a quick stir and slosh red sauce over the side of the pan and onto the stove, the floor, and/or myself — then too often I react with simmering impatience, carnal anger, unloving harshness, discouragement or depression.

Amy Carmichael once wrote:

The hardest thing is to keep cheerful (and loving) under little things that come from uncongenial surroundings, the very insignificance of which adds to their power to annoy, because they must be wrestled with, and overcome, as in the case of larger hurts. Some disagreeable habit in one to whom we may owe respect and duty, and which is a constant irritation or our sense of the fitness of things, may demand of us a greater moral force to keep the spirit serene than an absolute wrong committed against us. (1)

“Well, I was provoked.”

Love…is not easily provoked. I Corinthians 13:5

“I’m only human.”

Yes. That’s the problem, not an excuse. With the exception of One, all humans have a sinful nature. Our natural reaction is likely to be a selfish one. As Christians we’re called to have a supernatural reaction.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance. Galatians 5:22-23.

Even on the highway or in a check-out line.

Thank God there is forgiveness with Him, His mercies are new every morning, and if we confess our sin, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness(I John 1:9).

But how can I get the victory over wrong reactions to little provocations and react in a right manner the next time?

  • I think first of all by not excusing it, but recognizing it as sin and confessing it to Him.
  • A careful evaluation of using my time better is a good practical solution to some situations, such as stopping whatever I am doing soon enough to leave early enough for an appointment so that a few red lights (which really don’t last as long as they seem to) will not cause me to be late (or agitated).
  • Putting it into perspective. A little thing is just a little thing. Being a Christian doesn’t mean every little bump in the road is going to be removed.
  • Then relinquishing control of my life and time and schedule into the Lord’s hands will help me to handle interruptions better. Have you ever studied the life of Christ with an eye toward how much He was interrupted? It’s enlightening. Even when He was interrupted during prayer or on his way to perform a miracle, He never reacted harshly or impatiently.
  • I need to relinquish the “I” factor as well. Some of the agitation I experience is simply my thwarted desire for things to go my way. I mentioned in an earlier post that another of Amy Carmichael’s experiences that helped me was when she felt the “I” “rising hotly” in her toward one who was unfair and dominating, and she realized that moment was a chance to die to self. “See in this which seems to stir up all you most wish were not stirred up — see in it a chance to die to self in every form. Accept it as just that – a chance to die.”
  • Remembering that my testimony before others is at stake helps as well. “That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world” (Philippians 2:25). I sometimes think of Satan standing before God and accusing that Job only served God because God blessed him, but let Satan take away Job’s blessings, and he would curse God. I envision him saying of me, “Yes, she acts like a nice Christian at church, but let me trip her up here and there and see how she reacts.” We not only forget that we are a testimony to others in our homes and at check-out lines, but we forget that our testimonies are as far-reaching as heaven. Rosalind Goforth was a missionary wife to China during years in which the Chinese were quite suspicious of and disdainful toward “foreign devils.” To try to alleviate those feelings and establish relationships with the Chinese, the Goforths would allow crowds of the curious into their home to look around and to talk with them. This resulted in some agitation and disruption as well as theft of some of their belongings, but overall they felt it was worth it. Of one particular day, Rosalind writes:

The day had been an unusually strenuous one, and I was really very tired. Toward evening, a crowd of women burst through the living room door and came trooping in before I had time to meet them outside. One woman set herself out to make things unpleasant. She was rough and repulsive and– well, just indescribably filthy. I paid no attention to her except to treat her as courteously as the rest. But when she put both hands to her nose, saying loudly, “Oh, these foreign devils, the smell of their home is unbearable!” my temper rose in a flash and, turning on her with anger, I said, “How dare you speak like that? Leave the room!” The crowd, sensing a “storm,” fled. I heard one say, “That foreign devil woman has a temper just like ours!”

Now, I had not noticed that the door of my husband’s study was ajar, not did I know that he was inside, until, as the last woman disappeared, the door opened and he came forward, looking solemn and stern. “Rose, how could you so forget yourself?” he said. “Do you realize that just one such incident may undo months of self-sacrificing, loving service?”

“But Jonathan” I returned, “you don’t know how she — “

But he interrupted. “Yes, I do; I heard all. You certainly had reason to be annoyed; but were you justified, with all that is hanging in the balance and God’s grace to keep you patient?”

As he turned to re-enter his study, he said, “All I can say is I am disappointed!

Oh, how that last word cut me! I deserved it, yes, but, oh, I did so want to reach up to the high ideals he had. A tempestuous time followed alone in our inner room with my Lord. as I look back now, it was all just one farther step up the rocky hillside of life — just climbing! (2)*

  • The verses mentioned above in Galatians 5 say that gentleness, long-suffering, self-control, etc., are all a part of the fruit of the Spirit. Maintaining time in the Word so He can speak to me through it, yielding to His control throughout the day, memorizing verses in the areas I am having trouble with, sending out a quick prayer for help when I feel that agitation and frustration building up will all help in gaining the victory.

Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16.

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(1) Houghton, Frank. Amy Carmichael of Dohnavur. (Fort Washington, PA: Christian Literature Crusade, 1983), 86-87.

(2) Goforth, Rosalind. Climbing. (USA: Bethel Publishing), 45-46.

Make Me Thy Fuel

From prayer that asks that I may be
Sheltered from winds that beat on Thee,
From fearing when I should aspire,
From faltering when I should climb higher,
From silken self, O Captain, free
Thy soldier who would follow Thee.

From subtle love of softening things,
From easy choices, weakenings,
(Not thus are spirits fortified,
Not this way went the crucified)
From all that dims Thy Calvary,
O Lamb of God, deliver me.

Give me the love that leads the way,
The faith that nothing can dismay,
The hope no disappointments tire,
The passion that will burn like fire;
Let me not sink to be a clod:
Make me Thy fuel, Flame of God.

~Amy Carmichael

Three short(er) reviews

I’ve finished three books in the last couple of weeks, but for whatever reason haven’t felt inclined to do full-fledged reviews. But who knows — once I get going these may expand. 🙂 My intention, however, is just to mention a few things about these.

The Missing The Missing is the second in the Seasons of Grace series by Beverly Lewis. In the first book, the mother of the Amish Byler family, Lettie,  left without explanation one morning (no plot spoilers there — that was the main plot point of the book.) In this book she is still missing and the reasons are unfolded bit by bit. We see her search and her struggles and her family’s continued coping with the consequences and questions and confusion, particularly her husband and oldest daughter, Grace. The everyday running of the household falls largely to Grace. In the last book she broke her engagement to a young man as reserved and uncommunicative as her father. In this book, the boy who had previously shown interest in her friend is now showing interest in her, and at first she does not return his interest, but finds herself attracted to this Amishman with his unusual ways and chatty nature. Then there is Englisher Heather who has come to the area to seek natural methods for fighting cancer, not wanting to put herself through the torment and side effects of the lost battle her mother fought with the disease. She and Grace meet and form an unexpected but pleasant friendship.

Though some parts of the plot are somewhat predictable, the character development is intriguing. I enjoyed the book, as I do all of Beverly’s, and look forward to the final book due out in April.

Surrendered HeartA Surrendered Heart by Tracie Peterson and Judith Miller is the third in the Broadmoor Legacy series. Each book focused on one of three cousins from the wealthy Broadmoor family. In this book, Amanda has plans to go to college to study to become a doctor and in the meantime is working with a local doctor in her uncle’s “Home for the Friendless.” Her father arranges for her college application to be denied and makes plans for her to marry another wealthy man. Though he had expected her to do so all along, now his finances are in dire straits and he needs her to marry well, not only for the family’s reputation but out of necessity. Will his nefarious scheming catch up with him or will he get away with his wrongdoings? Meanwhile a cholera epidemic breaks out, confining Amanda to the Home for the Friendless under quarantine.

We see the other cousins’ relationships developing as well. I particularly appreciated the struggles shown between party-loving free spirit Sophie and her reserved, serious, minister husband. So many books end with the wedding, but I liked that the authors continued to show the struggles this couple would naturally have. I enjoyed this book as well.

Dr. FrauDr. Frau: A Woman Doctor Among the Amish by Grace H. Kaiser is a non-fiction book about this doctor’s experiences among the Amish in the Lancaster, PA area for 28 years beginning in the 1950s. Grace writes with humor and clarity as we follow along with her delivering babies at homes in blizzards and all kinds of other conditions and handling a variety of other needs. Her picture of Amish life is less idyllic than Beverly Lewis’s but no less appreciative.

I love her phrasing: “The last sticky pan hit the sink at half-past collapse time,” “The room hummed like bees in a June clover field.”

The only thing I didn’t like about this book her father’s response when Grace was tempted to stop pursuing her dream of becoming a doctor: “‘What do you want to do, let some man support you all your life?’ he asked with contempt.” That kind of attitude is a slap in the face to homemakers. Maybe he thought it would goad her on, I don’t know. But we do see glimpses into her family life and good-natured teasing with her husband about his staying in a warm bed when she had to make night calls.

I didn’t realize until I got to the end of this book that she had written another, Detour, about suffering an accident which left her disabled which in turn caused her to retire early. I immediately put it on my wish list!

(These reviews will be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

Friday’s Fave Five

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Susanne at Living to Tell the Story hosts a “Friday Fave Five” in which we share our five favorite things from the past week. Click on the button to read more of the details, and you can visit Susanne to see the list of others’ favorites or to join in.

1. The Lord’s compassion and patience in His correction. My earthly father wanted my good in teaching me right from wrong, but his way of discipline was harsh and authoritarian. Plus my parents were from an era in which it was thought that loving or hugging after discipline would somehow take away from the discipline. Thankfully I was taught differently before I had children. A child’s heart is often most tender right after correction, and that’s when they most want to make sure the relationship is restored and everything is okay between you. There is a particular “besetting sin” the Lord has been bringing me to conviction about, and I am just so grateful for His tender hand.

2. Jeremy and I are often home during the day but don’t often eat lunch together as we get up and eat breakfast at different times. But one night when I had a lot of leftover rice from dinner, he suggested making fried rice for lunch the next day. He went out and got shrimp and snap peas to add to the chicken and rice we had. It’s fun having a son take an interest in cooking! It was very good — we’re talking about making it for dinner for everyone else some time. I had planned to take a picture but forgot.

3. An unexpected package — though I should have expected it. Carrie at Reading to Know reviewed some Little Pink Books a while back, and, remembering how much I love pink, she e-mailed me and asked me if I’d like them. Wasn’t that thoughtful? I had forgotten in the mean time that they were coming, so it was a pleasant surprise to get her package in the mail this week.

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4. A fun excursion to Tuesday Morning. It’s tucked away behind some other stores and I often forget it is there, but a sales flyer this week had some items I was interested in. They didn’t have one thing I wanted — I have been searching for a new bedspread or quilt for some time in the right colors, but nothing they had would really work. But I did pick up a few neat things, one of which was this:

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Not quite sure where I will put it yet: I have a couple of ideas but usually have to think about it for a while.

5. Two unusual music videos, both fairly short:

Bach on the big piano at FAO Schwartz:

Music made with bottles and roller skates:

(If for some reason the videos aren’t showing up for you, you can find them here and here.)

Happy Friday!

Repost: When there is no hunger

In my reading this morning I came across a reference to Matthew 5:6: “Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.” That convicted me because though I do desire righteousness, I can’t say every day that I hunger and thirst for it. That reminded me of this post: though it deals specifically with lack of hunger for God’s Word, the same things can block our hunger for righteousness. It was originally posted in March 2007: I thought I had reposted it since, but I had only linked back to it.

When There Is No Hunger For God’s Word

In something I read online recently, a new Christian wrote of his intense love for the Word of God, taking it with him to work and on vacation and making every attempt to read it every day. He continued,

“I cannot for the life of me understand people that say that they are saved [and] never open the book. Can we truly be living our lives for Jesus Christ and not (or rarely) open the word of God? How does a Christian learn to know God just by going to church or praying? I have a Christian friend that told me, ‘I already read the whole Bible once.’ Does the average newer Christian read the Bible for a few years and then put it up? Am I just a Bible nut? I hope and pray that 25 years from now, I still hunger to read his word (God willing I am still here).”

New Christians can really put us to shame, can’t they?

If a professing Christian has absolutely no appetite for God’s Word, it would indeed be good for him to check his heart and make he truly does possess new life in Christ.

Yet there are things that can affect spiritual hunger just as there things that can affect physical hunger.

1) “Spoiling our appetite.” Moms throughout the ages have told children they can’t have a treat before dinner because it would spoil their appetite. When we’re full of other things, we won’t hunger for God’s Word. Proverbs 27:7: “The full soul loatheth an honeycomb; but to the hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet.”

2) Illness. Many physical illnesses can cause a loss of appetite. We need to ask the Great Physician to examine us, search our hearts, and see if there is anything in our lives quenching our hunger for Him and His Word. Psalm 139:23-24: Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 119:25: My soul cleaveth unto the dust: quicken thou me according to thy word.

3) Service. “But I thought service was a good thing!” It is, but not when it causes us to replace time with Him with our service. Mary and Martha are our classic examples of the difference between busy (and frustrated) service vs. choosing “that good part” of giving time and attention to sitting at our Lord’s feet. (Luke 10: 38-42).

4) Distraction. Sometimes people can get so busy they forget to eat. Mark 4:19 lists three “distractions” which “choke” the Word: cares of this word, deceitfulness of riches, and lusts of other things (Luke 8:14 calls that last one the “pleasures of this life.”) We need to “cast our cares on Him” (I Peter 5:7) and remind ourselves of what the Word says about the deceitfulness of riches and keep pleasures in their proper perspective.

5) Hardness of heart. I don’t know that there is a physical parallel with this one, and I am in danger of mixing my metaphors, but the parable of the sower speaks of one whose heart is “stony ground.” I think the parable is likely referring to an unsaved person, but throughout the Bible God’s people are told to “harden not your hearts.” Hosea 10:12 says, “Sow to yourselves in righteousness, reap in mercy; break up your fallow ground: for it is time to seek the LORD, till he come and rain righteousness upon you.”

6) Enemies. People can neglect or abuse their responsibility to feed others under their care. Prisoners of war have been given very little to eat, and then found themselves eating loathsome things because they were so hungry they’d gladly eat anything. Satan can use some of the other things already mentioned, but the parable of the sower mentions that, “When any one heareth the word of the kingdom, and understandeth it not, then cometh the wicked one, and catcheth away that which was sown in his heart” (Matthew 13:19). Again, this is referring to a lost person (Luke 8:12), yet there is a parallel for saved people. When we hear or read the Word inattentively, sleepily, or hurriedly, we won’t understand it and whatever truth we were supposed to have gotten is caught away.

What’s the best way to develop (or redevelop) an appetite for God’s Word? Seek God’s help to diagnose and deal with any issues that are quenching our hunger for it. Then just start partaking of it. I used to hate to drink water, but due to health problems with caffeine and sugar (not to mention calories), I began to drink water rather than soft drinks with meals when we were out. I came to not mind it so much, then to actually like it. I grew up not eating broccoli, but developed a taste, and then a love for it in college just by continuing to try it. We need to set our priorities and put everything else in its proper perspective. We need to partake of it even when we don’t feel hungry for it, just as we need to eat to keep up our health and strength even if we don’t feel physically hungry. Perhaps a reading of Psalm 119 would whet our appetites by reminding us of how great and good the Word is and of what we’re missing when we neglect it.

As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby. I Peter 2:2.

Neither have I gone back from the commandment of his lips; I have esteemed the words of his mouth more than my necessary food. Job 23:12

Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by thy name, O LORD God of hosts. Jeremiah 15:16

Random Dozen #8


Hosted by Linda at 2nd Cup of Coffee. Visit Linda’s to link up or find other participants.

1. Candy corn: Your thoughts?

Bleah. Not a fan. Don’t like the taste. If I am going to ingest calories of sugar, it needs to have chocolate.

2. Briefly, what was the first conversation you ever had with your spouse? (or best friend, if you’re not married.) (Or someone significant, like your librarian.)

“Hello, my name is Barbara…” We both worked in the library and introduced ourselves. Pretty basic, but at that time in my life I didn’t initiate conversations often, and I was surprised at myself that I did this time.

3. Could you ever become a vegetarian?

Nope. I love meat. And with low blood sugar, I need the protein. I suppose if it were medically necessary I’d have to see what I could do, but I can’t see myself ever becoming one by choice.

4. Have you ever dressed up your pet in a costume?

No!!!!!

5. Name something about childhood that you miss (like Clark Bars, Teaberry Gum, Malibu Barbie, cracking fake eggs on people’s heads with your fist and “It’s the Great Pumpkin” airing only once a year).

This question is the one that I have let sit here for hours without coming up with a definite answer. Probably half a dozen things will come to mind in the next day or so. Though there are many things that make me feel nostalgic about my childhood, I can’t think of a particular item that I miss. I do miss the carefreeness of childhood — even though there were some rough patches, overall I have more fond memories than bad ones. And I miss the family togetherness. Since we’ve all left home we don’t keep in touch as much, especially since my mom passed away. And of course, my mom would be the person I miss the most, with my grandfather and grandmother as well.

6. Have you ever won a trophy? If not, what do you deserve a trophy for?

No, I haven’t, and I can’t think any trophy-worthy accomplishments.

7. When do you think is the appropriate time to begin playing Christmas music each year?

Dec. 1.

8. What’s your favorite board game?

Scrabble, though I like Ticket to Ride and Settlers of Catan a lot, too.

9. How do you feel about surprises (receiving, not giving)?

I don’t mind them but they make me a little antsy because I’m so particular about what I like that often a surprise gift is not something I would have chosen. While I appreciate the thought and the effort and the care, it’s a little frustrating to know I’ll just tuck it away til the next yard sale. But when a surprise really hits the mark — well, I love that. And when surprise things are done — when someone unexpectedly fills up the gas tank or cleans something they’ve not been specifically asked to or offers to make dinner — well, I love that.

10. Is it easy for you to say, “I’m sorry?”

I think so.

11. What is your favorite candle scent?

Most candle scents give me a headache, so I don’t have them except for decoration. I even have to give candle stores in the mall a wide berth when walking by them. I thought I’d make a quick dash into one once to get a gift for my sister, but after a few seconds felt like I couldn’t breathe and had to leave.

12. October is traditionally “open house” time in public schools. If you had a literal open house in your home (like a reception) what light snacks would you serve visitors and what would you show them (as in art projects, graded papers) that would uniquely represent you?

Light snacks would probably include veggie pizza squares and pudding chip cookies. I don’t think I would have an open house to show people things that represent me — though in a sense our homes do that in themselves — but hypothetically speaking, like a school-type open house, I suppose I’d show the few articles I’ve had published, maybe print-outs of a few favorite blog posts, a few craft things I’ve made, family photos. My heart collection would be pretty obvious.

You can find more entries or join in the fun at Linda‘s.

A Thousand Words In Idioms: The Last Version

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If “language is the dress of thoughts” ( Johnson), then idioms must the wardrobe.

Jientje at Heaven Is In Belgium hosts A  Thousand Words In Idioms on Wednesdays wherein she asks participants to illustrate an idiom or two with a photo. This is the very last one, so if you’ve been thinking about joining in, this is the time!

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Staying on track.

If you’re staying on track, you’re keeping in line with your goals or you’re keeping within the parameters of your goals, e.g., “If I want to lose weight, I need to stay on track with my diet and exercise.” (I just finished watching The Biggest Loser, so weight is on the mind. 🙂 )

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Making tracks.

This usually means leaving one place to go someplace else. I’ve also heard it used to mean that one needs to go fast: “If I’m going to make it to the store before it closes, I need to make tracks.”

The top picture was taken by Jeremy, my oldest son, and the bottom one by my husband a few years ago, but they are all in our archives together as family pictures, so I hope it is okay I am not using photos I took myself.

No idiom to go with this one, but I just wanted to show what Jason made with his tracks:

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Awww! I could have used that one for warm fuzzies even though it was a cold day.

You can see more at Jientje‘s on Wednesday.

Microfiction Monday

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I saw at Thom‘s that Susan at Stony River has begun a Microfiction Monday wherein participants write a story in 140 characters, and she even shared a link to Design 215’s Character Counter to help count. More information is here.

I thought this would be an excellent exercise to stimulate creativity while at the same time learning to streamline our words. Normally I am not very concise, so this is something I need to work on.

This is the picture we’re to base our story on, followed by my contribution:

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“Did I turn off the oven?”

“I’m sure you did, dear.”

“I wonder if I unplugged the iron.”

“I’m sure you did, dear.”

“Did I…?”

“Yawn..”

Poetry Friday: September

Even though this poem by John Updike is titled “September,” the first line or so has been running through my mind the last few days. And the last four lines seem to describe the rainy week we’ve had.

The breezes taste
Of apple peel.
The air is full
Of smells to feel-
Ripe fruit, old footballs,
Burning brush,
New books, erasers,
Chalk, and such.
The bee, his hive,
Well-honeyed hum,
And Mother cuts
Chrysanthemums.
Like plates washed clean
With suds, the days
Are polished with
A morning haze.

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An explanation of Poetry Friday is here. It’s being hosted today by Laura Salas.
Photo is from morgueFile.

Friday’s Fave Five

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Susanne at Living to Tell the Story hosts a “Friday Fave Five” in which we share our five favorite things from the past week. Click on the button to read more of the details, and you can visit Susanne to see the list of others’ favorites or to join in.

1. A ladies’conference that a sister church invited our ladies to last weekend with the theme “Christ My Light.”

2. A relatively quiet week after several busy ones.

3. The Private Diary of Bella Swan, HT to Carrie. I haven’t read the Twilight books and only saw the film because my son and his girlfriend wanted to, so I’m not a fan, but I thought this was funny.

4. This video:

5. Not one but TWO food items! Both chocolate.

I’m on a quest to find a chocolate chess pie recipe that tastes similar to the one at Golden Corral. The first one I tried was The Angus Barn Chocolate Chess Pie. It was good – but not like Golden Corral’s. So the experimentation will continue. 🙂

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And I’ve been craving these Choco Peanut Butter Dreams for days and finally made them last night.

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Happy Friday!