From the worldling’s hollow gladness

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In the “one thought leads to another and I don’t know how I got here” department, I found myself thinking this morning about an incident in the junior-high years of one of my sons. Junior high is probably not anyone’s best time of life, but some people have a harder time of it. One of my sons got into trouble one day for using a phrase that had a “dirty” meaning. Fortunately the principal believed him when he said he didn’t know what it meant, that he just said it because other kids were saying it. (We had been here a little over a year and he hadn’t really made friends yet and was trying to “fit in.” I think we must’ve talked to him about not saying or doing wrong things to fit it and not trying to fit in with the wrong crowd — and yes, sadly, there is a wrong crowd even in Christian schools. I know we talked to him about not using phrases when you don’t know what they mean.) Oddly, neither the teacher nor the principal nor my husband nor I knew what the phrase meant. None of us had ever heard it before. Discreetly my husband asked someone he worked with, and we were shocked that such an innocent expression had such a meaning. It’s amazing to me how people can dirtify words with double entendre. It reminds me of Titus 1:15: “Unto the pure all things are pure: but unto them that are defiled and unbelieving is nothing pure; but even their mind and conscience is defiled.”

When my son was in the tenth grade, an evangelist came to their school under whose ministry he was saved. He had made a profession before and had seemed to understand, but we were happy for him to have the matter settled in his own heart. We weren’t about to tell him, “No, no, you were saved as a little child. Don’t you remember?” I had had enough struggles with assurance on my own that I would never say that to anyone wrestling with whether they had really believed on the Lord. And that was a changing point in his life. A generally resistant spirit was gone and he began taking real and observable steps in his walk with God.

Some years later I found an essay in that son’s school folder that he had written for Bible class. I don’t remember what the main topic of the essay was, but in it my son described how in his junior high years he was actually in the wrong crowd, whereas I had thought he had merely had a brush with them. It wasn’t widely known what kinds of things these kids talked about because they were wise enough to keep their conversation generally clean around teachers and other students. But, my son went on to write, in the intervening years, every guy in that group had either gotten right with God or left the school.

I was surprised, frightened, and saddened that these things had gone on under my nose without my having a clue, or missing the clues I did have. But then my heart was so warmed and I was so grateful that God was watching out for my boy in those situations and brought him out and turned his life around. When I think of how easily he could have gone the other way…well, I just can’t think about that too long. And to see his growth and to see him now as a young man seeking to walk with the Lord, and to have an openness between us that was absent those years ago — my heart overflows.

I don’t know why this came to mind this morning or why I felt strongly led to share it. Perhaps another parent can use the encouragement. We do need to “be sober, be vigilant; because your [and their] adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:  Whom resist stedfast in the faith” (I Peter 5:8-9). We can’t afford to be lax, but then again we can’t be neurotically overzealous to the point of driving them away. And at some point in their lives they will spend time away from us. We can trust God for wisdom and balance in raising them and trust Him to see and deal with what we don’t see. He cares for them even more than we do and wants what is best for them infinitely more.

I posted this poem, written by Amy Carmichael for the children under her care, a couple of years ago, but it is one that I come back to often and that echoes my own heart’s desire for my children as well as other children I know:

Father, hear us, we are praying,
Hear the words our hearts are saying,
We are praying for our children.

Keep them from the powers of evil,
From the secret, hidden peril,
Father, hear us for our children.

From the whirlpool that would suck them,
From the treacherous quicksand, pluck them,
Father, hear us for our children.

From the worldling’s hollow gladness,
From the sting of faithless sadness,
Father. Father, keep our children

Through life’s troubled waters steer them,
Through life’s bitter battle cheer them,
Father, Father, be thou near them.

Read the language of our longing,
Read the wordless pleading thronging,
Holy Father, for our children.

And wherever they may bide,
Lead them home at eventide.

A Thousand Words In Idioms: Stitched and Sewn

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Jientje at Heaven Is In Belgium hosts A  Thousand Words In Idioms wherein she asks participants to illustrate an idiom with a photo.

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A stitch in time saves nine.

If you have have a small tear in a piece of clothing, if you go ahead and mend it when you first notice, you’ll ony have to take a few stitches: if you wait, the tear will grow bigger and you’ll have to spend more time and work to fix it. So this idiom is a way of saying we should take care of problems when they are small before they get bigger and more complicated and require more effort to repair.

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Sewed up.

If a project or situation is sewed up, it is taken care of, concluded, completed. The phrase could also mean to gain control of or assurance of, as in “The senator sewed up the votes needed to pass the bill.”

May all you stitches be taken and projects sewed (sewn?) up in good time!

Book Review: How Do I Love Thee?

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How do I love thee How Do I Love Thee? by Nancy Moser is the story of Elizabeth Barrett Browning and Robert Browning. I had always been intrigued by what little I knew of their love story and welcomed the chance to read more about it.

The book begins with Elizabeth as an established, respected poet in her later thirties, but practically a recluse. As a child she had begun having some recurrent chest congestion which led to her becoming weak and easily over-tired and over-stimulated. Further reading outside the book indicated that her illness was never specifically diagnosed. She became nearly an invalid, and with that and her father’s unusual disinclination toward visitors, her world was primarily her room. She became afraid of even meeting people and turned down requests from other poets of her day to meet with her. Any visitors outside her family and small circle of friends would cause her to panic.

Her father was beyond authoritarian to the point of insisting that none of his children marry. This is never explained — his reasons may not have been known. Perhaps after his wife died it was his way of not “losing” any more of his family. But he was Elizabeth’s chief love, and her loyalty caused her to think he was only somewhat eccentric. Later she realized that “he…instead of loving me with the unconditional love that had been my offering, loved with a possessive hand that hurt in its clutching, that caused bruises and offered no solace” (p. 223). “His love consumed me like a shroud, cloaked me in anxiety, bathed me in fear of an unwitting transgression that would bring his displeasure. Being loved by Papa involved clutching my arms around myself in protection”(p. 235).

She was thirty-nine when she received a letter from fellow poet and admirer, Robert Browning. She was aware of his work and admired it and decided she did want to meet him. They were opposites in many ways. Her life had been overshadowed by sorrow; his had been bright and happy. She lived in her room; he had traveled the world. She was retiring; he was effusive. But they fell in love. “I had found the population of books gentle mates but hadn’t known there was any sweeter music…” until Robert (pp. 232-233). Then they had to figure out what kind of relationship they could have in light of her health and her father.

I mentioned several days ago that at first I wasn’t enjoying the book as much as I thought I would. Part of the reason for that is that Robert doesn’t come into the picture until a third of the way through the book. Yet I can understand now that the first third of the book is needed to fully understand Elizabeth’s life and what it meant for her to take the steps she did. It would not have made the same impact and would not have entirely made sense if the book had started with their meeting. Also, at first I didn’t like that the point of view was in the first person. I know that poets probably don’t talk in everyday life like their poems sound, but at first I didn’t see much depth in her conversations. And, knowing this was a fictionalized story, I disliked reading as if I were hearing her own thoughts without knowing if they were hers or the author’s and would have preferred a third person viewpoint. By the time she first heard from Robert, though, I liked being inside her head, and at that point the story became captivating. Theirs was no fairy-tale infatuation: their love strengthened each other and brought out the best in each other.

I appreciated that Nancy Moser included several appendices in the back, especially a section discussing what was fact and fiction in the story. Some of her changes were understandable, such as changing duplicate names to avoid confusion. Purist that I am, I wish she had not changed any of the incidents. But I feel confident overall that the story is truly Elizabeth’s and Robert’s, and I very much enjoyed reading it.

(This post will be linked to Semicolon’s Saturday Review of Books.)

Contentious Christians

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The Bible tells in many places to love the brethren, and I do. But like any family, its members sometimes embarrass each other. One of the times I am most embarrassed by some of my fellow Christians is when they get riled up about something, especially something the unsaved world is doing. I’ve winced to read on both secular and Christian message boards and hear on radio call-in programs where someone has gotten all in a dither over the issue being discussed and ended up just ranting rather than saying anything constructive.

I do believe in taking a stand, a firm and uncompromising stand for truth and righteousness. The prophets did; Peter did; Paul did, the Lord Jesus did. But the way it is done can either make the truth clearer and make righteousness both attractive and reasonable, or it can come across like a goat butting its head against everything in sight. And when it deteriorates from dealing with the issue to just making snide remarks or personal attacks, it has seriously overstepped the bounds.

Dictionary.com defines “rail” as “To express objections or criticisms in bitter, harsh, or abusive language” and “revile” as “to assail with contemptuous or opprobrious language; address or speak of abusively.” If you look up either of those words in a Bible search program, you’ll see that they are not to be characteristic of a Christian’s speech. I Corinthians 6:9-11 lists revilers right along with adulterers and thieves as the type of people we’re not supposed to be; I Corinthians 5:11 lists a railer alongside idolaters and extortioners. The Bible says that even angels “bring not railing accusation” against evildoers (II Peter 2:10-11); even “Michael the archangel, when contending with the devil he disputed about the body of Moses, durst not bring against him a railing accusation, but said, The Lord rebuke thee” (Jude 8-10). I Peter 3:8-10 instructs that even when we’re railed against, we’re supposed to respond with blessing rather than railing — certainly not a natural response but a supernatural response made possible by God’s power. Our Lord Jesus Christ was the supreme example of this: “Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth: Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously: Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed” (I Peter 2:22-24).

I came across this quote this weekend:

“I have noticed this, that when a man is full of the Holy Ghost, he is the very last man to be complaining of other people. He loves everybody too tenderly. He loves even a cold church, and is anxious to lift them up and bring them to a kinder feeling and sympathy.” D. L. Moody.

I’m still pondering that statement, but I think he is right on that our motivation is love. I think when we’re full of “righteous indignation,” even when we think we are so on the Lord’s behalf, that’s when we fall into whining, complaining, reviling and railing, being filled with the flesh rather than the Holy Spirit.

James 1:19-20 tells us “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.”

Psalm 37 tells us in three places (vv. 1, 7, and 8 ) to “fret not” because of evildoers, but rather to

“Trust in the LORD, and do good” (v. 3)
“Delight thyself also in the LORD” (v. 4)
“Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him” (v. 5)
“Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him” (v. 7)
“Cease from anger, and forsake wrath” (v. 8 )
“Wait on the LORD, and keep his way” (v. 14).

There are various reasons given for trusting the Lord concerning evildoers in that chapter, among them the facts that we can trust God to take care of us and to take care of them. But other places in the Bible go a step further:  I Peter 2:11-12 says, “Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul; Having your conversation honest among the Gentiles: that, whereas they speak against you as evildoers, they may by your good works, which they shall behold, glorify God in the day of visitation.” Our right reactions glorify God and are a testimony of Him. And, as one of the thieves beside Christ on the cross first railed against Him but later came to see his own sinfulness and Christ’s holiness and then believed on Him, so our Christlike responses can lead some to Him.

All of this does not mean we become spineless or doormats or wishy-washy, never saying anything, never taking a stand. There are numerous places where we are instructed to speak out for the truth. But the way we do so can either help or hurt the cause of Christ.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23.

O Jesus, Thou art standing

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O Jesus, Thou art standing
Outside the fast-closed door,
In lowly patience waiting
To Pass the threshold o’er:
Shame on us, Christian brothers,
His Name and sign who bear,
O shame, thrice shame upon us,&
To keep Him standing there!

O Jesus, thou art knocking;
And lo, that hand is scarred,
And thorns Thy brow encircle,
And tears Thy face have marred:
O love that passeth knowledge,
So patiently to wait!
O sin that hath no equal,
So fast to bar the gate!

O Jesus, Thou art pleading
In accents meek and low,
“I died for you, My children,
And will ye treat money so?
O Lord, with shame and sorrow
We open now the door;
Dear Savior, enter, enter,
And leave us nevermore.

~ W. Walsham How, 1867

This song sounds like it is taken from or inspired by Revelation 3:20 where Jesus said, “Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.” That verse is used often to invite the lost to “open the door” to Christ, and though I think it’s fine to use it that way, in context it is written to Christians, specifically lukewarm ones who think they have need of nothing. It’s all to easy to crowd Him out. May we ever keep the door open.

Saturday morning cartoons

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Did you grow up watching Saturday morning cartoons? I did. I think it was the parents’ way of keeping us occupied so they could sleep in.

These aren’t cartoons, but here are a few interesting things I’ve seen lately:

The Remember Song. I can all too easily identify…

I don’t drink beer. Cute. But all good reasons!

Hot Pockets. My kids like to eat Hot Pockets for lunch some times, so this cracked us all up.

I don’t know how to embed this one since it is from another service, but it is titled “How to fit in at almost any church.” It would probably be more aptly titled “What not to do to draw undue attention to yourself at church.” My favorite is fact-checking the pastor on Wikipedia during the service — although I have heard some things from preachers that probably should have been checked our before being shared…

This isn’t a blanket endorsement of any of these people — all I know about them is what’s on these clips.

Happy Saturday!

Poetry Friday: My Advocate

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(My Friday Fave Five post is below this one.)

An explanation of Poetry Friday is here. It’s being hosted today by Book Aunt.

I posted this poem a couple of years ago, but I was reminded of it again after reading this morning of Satan being the “accuser of the brethren.”

My Advocate

I sinned. And straightway, post-haste, Satan flew
Before the presence of the most high God,
And made a railing accusation there.
He said, “This soul, this thing of clay and sod,
Has sinned. ‘Tis true that he has named Thy name,
But I demand his death, for Thou hast said,
‘The soul that sinneth, it shall die.’
Shall not Thy sentence be fulfilled?
Is justice dead?
Send now this wretched sinner to his doom.
What other thing can righteous ruler do?”
And thus he did accuse me day and night,
And every word he spoke, O God, was true!

Then quickly One rose up from God’s right hand,
Before Whose glory angels veiled their eyes.
He spoke, “Each jot and tittle of the law
Must be fulfilled; the guilty sinner dies!
But wait — suppose his guilt were all transferred
To Me, and that I paid his penalty!
Behold My hands, My side, My feet! One day
I was made sin for him, and died that he
Might be presented, faultless, at Thy throne!”
And Satan flew away. Full well he knew
That he could not prevail against such love,
For every word my dear Lord spoke was true!

– Martha Snell Nicholson

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(You can read more of Mrs. Nicholson’s poetry here.)

(Photo courtesy of stockxchng).

Friday’s Fave Five

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friday-fave-five-springSusanne at Living to Tell the Story hosts a “Friday Fave Five” in which we share our five favorite things from the past week. Click on the button to read more of the details, and you can visit Susanne to see the list of others’ favorites or to join in.

1. My Birthday Lunch. I mentioned my birthday last week — but right at the beginning of it, so we hadn’t really celebrated it. Our custom is to let the birthday honoree chose a place or a special dish for dinner. We chose to go out for lunch this time because Jason had to work that evening, so we went to Fatz’s.

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2. My birthday cake. I LOVE Texas Sheet Cake but for some reason just never made one — we pretty much have cake only around birthdays. But Jeremy made one for my birthday!

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3. Pink office supplies. I don’t know why — they just make me happy. 🙂

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4. Storage units for my craft/sewing/guest room.

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5. New books!

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Thank you to my family for all you did to make it a great day for me!

Bonus:

I mentioned it yesterday, but our church held a nice reception for Jason and Mittu Sunday night.

And we don’t have the wedding pictures yet, but we did get this one:

Jason and Mittu Wedding Day kiss

I can’t wait to see the rest!!

Happy Friday!

What’s New?

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My mother-in-law asks me this nearly every day, and most often my answer is, “Not much!” Just the usual — laundry and meals and dishes and such. But here are some odds and ends of stray thoughts and happenings:

  • Our church had a lovely reception for Jason and Mittu last Sunday night after the evening service. Since most of the folks couldn’t go to the wedding in OK and since Mittu wasn’t here for several months before the wedding and we couldn’t do the normal bridal shower, they had this reception. It worked well because Jason was with her and could introduce her to those she didn’t know — she didn’t have to be by herself with a room full of women she didn’t know at a shower. They had just gotten a DVD of the wedding, so we had that playing in the background. We have some incredibly sweet and generous folks at our church!

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  • I’m still having this odd sensation of waiting for Jason to come home at night, even though I know better. Just habit, I guess. I don’t remember feeling that way when he was away at camp for the summer — maybe because he was actually away then, and now he’s here, but not here. When he was at camp I did actually forget and set the table as if he were here a few times — I’ve only done that once since he’s been married. 🙂
  • The newlyweds seem to be doing well. In the “being a mother hen never stops” department, I am hoping the folks in their new “young married” class are friendly and open to them.  It takes a while in any new class to feel a part of things, but I hope they have a very short transtion period. Mittu has been looking for a job, but so far nothing seems to be open in area day cares. I was surprised that there weren’t even any listings in the classifieds. But she’s been submitting applications anyway to some in the area. I’m still trying to find the balance between giving them their space and privacy and keeping in touch. I don’t want to “bug” them and often second-guess whether I should call — but I want to be available and keep in touch.
  • Funny how a room looks big until you start putting stuff in it. I’ve been enjoying getting my sewing/craft/guest room set up (though I need to find a shorter name for it!) I’ve got all the major pieces in except a daybed or futon or something for guests to sleep on. Need to go shopping for that. During the summer when I kept feeling inclined to sort through my craft stuff, I kept thinking it would be more efficient to just wait til I was able to move things into my new room, only handling them once that way. I should have gone with my inclination!! Sorting and organizing is what will take the longest. I’m enjoying it, though.
  • I mentioned on my nightstand post on Tuesday that I wasn’t enjoying How Do I Love Thee? by Nancy Moser as much as I thought I would.  That changed within 24 hours. 🙂 I would love to just take the day off and read it.
  • I haven’t gotten my body clock changed around for the new school schedule yet. I’m getting up earlier but hadn’t been getting to bed earlier until last night, so then I’ve been needing a nap during the day, which cuts into my work time. I should go to bed when Jesse does at 11 — but I like to unwind for a while before doing so.
  • Sherry at Semicolon had an excellent, thought-provoking post about using the Muslim thirty days of Ramadan as a time of special prayer for them.

I think those are all the stay thoughts swirling about just now.

Have a great day!

Works For Me Wednesday: Wedding Tips

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wfmwbannerKRISTEN

Works For Me Wednesday is hosted by We Are THAT Family as an opportunity for bloggers to share the tips they’ve learned along the way with others. Be sure and stop by to peruse a plethora of tried and true tips.

We’ve just had the first wedding among our kids. That doesn’t make me an expert, but there are some things I observed along the way (not just at our wedding but at weddings in general over the years) that might be helpful:

For friends of the bride and groom:

1. The bride in particular is getting bombarded on every side with wedding advice and expectations on several fronts. Avoid saying, “You should…,” “You ought to…,” “Why don’t you….?” Sometimes sharing something really nice you’ve seen at another wedding can be shared simply that way, “At my cousin’s wedding they did this really neat thing where they…” The idea is out there, the bride can think about it or not as she sees fit, but she doesn’t feel pressured.

2. If you use a gift registry to buy a wedding gift, be sure to follow the instructions so that the store registers that particular gift as having been fulfilled.

3. Include a gift receipt in the card or with the gift if possible: most stores do provide them. Sometimes the registry still doesn’t “register” for various reasons, and duplicates do happen. A gift receipt makes it so much easier if the couple does have to return something.

4. If you order something online to be delivered to the bride or groom, be sure to indicate that it is a gift if there is a place to do so in the ordering process. Usually there will be a little space for you to type in a note if it is a gift. My son and daughter-in-law did receive a couple of gifts that way that they have no idea who sent them. You could also let them know ahead of time that a package is coming from you via whatever store to their home so that when it comes they’ll know it was from you. They sincerely do want to send thank yous for the generosity of their friends and loved ones.

5. Attach your card firmly to the gift you are taking to the wedding. Most wedding gifts aren’t opened at the reception: they are at least taken back to the bride or groom’s family’s home: they may even be taken across the country before being opened. The couple wants to get the right thank-you card to the right people, and, of course, the gift giver wants the right card on the right gift. So use a lot more tape than you think you need, or, better yet, put the card inside the gift and then wrap it.

6. I saw many ways that friends or church family helped out, ways that had never occurred to me before:

  • Helping clean the bride’s family’s home before guests arrived.
  • Bringing over food.
  • Offering to house guests.
  • Picking up out-of-town guests from the airport.
  • Helping to set up, clean up, or serve not only for the wedding but for events before the wedding.
  • Running errands.
  • Bringing light snacks or something to drink for the rooms where the bride and bridesmaids or groom and groomsmen are getting ready before the wedding.
  • Being available the hours before the wedding to get items, run messages, etc.

7. If you see any member of the bridal party dashing by before the wedding and you try to speak to them, please don’t be offended if they don’t stop at that moment to talk. There are a multitude of things that come up at the last minute that have to be taken care of. Most everyone relaxes a lot more and has more time after the wedding or at the reception.

For the bride and groom:

1. Do as much as you can ahead of time. Things have a way of snowballing at the end with unforeseen details, plus you want to have some time to just relax with guests if possible.

2. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

3. It’s a good idea to check your registries every now and then in case some of the items have been discontinued since you made the registry. It’s frustrating to go to a store and print out a registry and start shopping only to find that half the registry isn’t available. You may not want to peek at it because you don’t want to see what people have bought yet: perhaps a friend or family member could keep an eye on it for you. And if you receive something from another source or change your color scheme in a room, etc., be sure to adjust your registry accordingly. It saves a lot of time in taking things back later.

4. Consider your guests. My son and daughter-in-law did a great job with this, and I commend another young couple in our church who scrambled the day of their wedding when the weather turned blisteringly hot to change the venue from outdoor to indoor. But one wedding we attended a few years ago was outdoors — in the South in August — and the bride or groom or family, I forget who, got upset that some of the older people stayed inside a nearby lake house to watch. As it was the wedding coordinator fainted and my youngest son got violently ill after running around in the heat.

5. Don’t fret if something goes wrong. There are probably very, very few events that go off absolutely perfectly. The little (or big) things that go wrong are what make for funny stories in years to come.

6. Keep prespective of what the day is all about: celebrating your union together. No matter what else happens or doesn’t happen, if that happens, the day is a success.