Book Review: Passionate Housewives Desperate for God

Posted on June 18, 2009 by Barbara Harper

The authors of Passionate Housewives Desperate for God, Jennie Chancey and Stacy McDonald, purpose to encourage women in their roles as homemakers and to dispel various homemaker myths: the 1950s stereotypical housewife, vacuuming in pearls and high heels; the perfect super-mom; and the bored, sensual “desperate housewife” of TV fame. They not only outline the biblical teaching of a godly homemaker, but also encourage her that God will give her the strength and grace she needs.

They also want to speak out and warn against feminism and the inroads it is making into Christian culture. I knew that feminists frowned on stay-at-home mothers, but I didn’t realize quite the extent of it. The book is well-documented in its confrontation of feminism: here are just a couple of quotes of feminists themselves:

No woman should be authorized to stay at home and raise her children. Society should be totally different. Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one.

~ Simone de Beauvoir, “Sex, Society, and the Female Dilemma,” Saturday Review, June 14, 1975.

Being a housewife is an illegitimate profession…The choice to serve and be protected and plan toward being a family-maker is a choice that shouldn’t be. The heart of radical feminism is to change that.

~ Vivian Gornick, University of Illinois, “The Daily Illini,” April 25, 1981

So much for women’s choice!

The authors also argue against what they call “Me-ology” — “books that encourage women to ‘pamper’ rather than ‘sanctify’ their flesh,” the idea that it’s “okay to live for self.” They’re not against the occasional bubble bath or time alone, but rather the idea that women should put themselves first in order to be better wives and mothers, or that they need to “escape” from their duties. The Bible teaches in many places that Christians are to live their lives in service to God and others and not for self and the more we try to grasp for ourselves, the more miserable we and our families will be (John 15:12-13, Matthew 10:39, Philippians 2:3-7, II Corinthians 5:15, Matthew 25:40, Matthew 16:24-26).

While it may seem counterintuitive, the lesson is true: living more for self will only keep us further from that true joy we’re after as women. God wants us to know that we can’t do it all, so that He can do it through us — so that He can equip us with the grace and strength we need to accomplish His will — which includes serving Him by serving others’ (p. xxv).

Please understand there is nothing intrinsically wrong with [spas, massages, pedicures], as long as we understand that we don’t need them to be content or healthy and that we aren’t somehow deprived if we don’t get them. There are many ways we can relax and enjoy ourselves when God gives us opportunity, but to feverishly pursue solace in worldly leisure and personal pleasure is to run to an empty comforter (p. 15).

I think this book is a great encouragement to any homemaker, particularly the chapters “Embracing Your Sacred Calling” and “So Show Me What a Keeper at Home Really Looks Like.” I have multitudes of quotes marked that spoke to me, too many to list, but here are a couple:

We must view serving our families as acts of service to God, rather than as acts that “get in the way” of serving Him. Martin Luther wrote about this very idea:

[Christian faith] opens its eyes, looks upon all these insignificant, distasteful, and despised duties in the Spirit, and is aware that they are all adorned with divine approval as the costliest gold and jewels. A wife…should regard her duties in the same light, as she suckles the child, rocks and bathes it, and cares for it in other ways; and as she busies herself with other duties and renders help and obedience to her husband. These are truly golden and noble works (from a sermon titled “the Estate of Marriage”) (pp. 55-56).

You see, homemaking isn’t about the house itself or the things it contains. Being keepers at home is about focusing on the Lord in all the everydayness so that our houses become centers of hospitality, forgiveness, training, business, welfare, charity, shared mourning and celebration, and — oh, yes — lots of tracked-in mud, crumbs under the chairs, and everything else that goes with human beings. We must not lose sight of the fact that our homes are God-given tools to bless others. They aren’t the end goal; they are, simply, one of the means to the end. And what is the end? Dying to self, laying down our lives, serving others that Christ may grow His kingdom and transform the world and ourselves as we do things His way (p. 94).

No talents are wasted in the Kingdom of God, and putting gifts to use in the service of husbands and godly households is not akin to burying talents in the ground. Proverbs 31 should put that notion firmly to rest, as Scripture demonstrates the wonderful scope for creativity, productivity, and achievement given to the godly keeper of the home (p. 106).

Any mother of young children has, I am sure, experienced this kind of scenario:

I remember one night praying fervently (after the baby had been up twelve or thirteen times), “Please, God, please, please, please let him sleep.” And then I heard the inevitable scream. I cried into my pillow because I knew it was only an hour before I had to get up. Wasn’t God listening?

So I pulled [the baby] into bed with me to nurse, quieted his fretful wails, and drifted off to sleep one more time, desperately hoping for just a “few more minutes” of rest. Yet, as if in a dream, I heard the distant voice of one of my older children, “Mom…Mom, Melissa’s throwing up.”

It was true. Sleep was not meant for me that morning. But I had a choice: I could be bitter toward the family God had called me to serve, or I could ask God to give the strength I needed to die to self and glorify Him. At the end of the day, though I was physically tired, I marveled at how I had made it through and was able to see ways God had eased my burden and refreshed my soul. I was able to nap when the baby rested later in the afternoon, a friend had made an “extra” casserole and wanted to know if I wanted one, and my time seemed to be multiplied. — I was shocked at how much I had accomplished. When we trust God, take our eyes off our troubles, and simply choose to do what needs to be done, God blesses us.

Your burdens will seem lighter as you allow Him to carry you. The hours of sleep may not always be [what] you would choose, but they will be enough — He always gives us enough. Give thanks to God for His provision, for the life He has given you, and for the family He has entrusted to your care.

While the book is filled with wonderful advice and encouragement, there are just a couple of things I would disagree with. One is the idea of the “dominion mandate,” taking God’s instructions to Adam and Eve far beyond what I believe is meant there. For example, one sentence on page 43 says, “If we are faithful in bearing and training up our children, by God’s grace, we will see a growing army for Christ — an army that will take dominion of the godless nations of the earth for the glory of God.” I put a big question mark next to that sentence in my book. I don’t see any instructions in the Bible for New Testament Christians to “take dominion of the godless nations of the earth.” We’re told to share the gospel and make disciples, and all through the New Testament to live a life that glories God, but we are also told we’ll face opposition and persecution, and Christ’s kingdom won’t be fully realized until He returns to Earth.

I also have problems with what they call “the myth of a quiet time.” I do know that when children are small, finding time alone with the Lord is a challenge and might not look like it always has before, and I wrote about that in a post titled “Encouragement to mothers of young children.” And that’s basically what they are saying as well, but to call it a “myth” seems to me to give the wrong impression.

And finally, though Vision Forum, through which this book is published, has a lot of good material and promotes many of the same values and beliefs I do, I would disagree with them on a few things. As just one example, I’ve mentioned before that a woman’s primary ministry is to her family (I Timothy 5:14, Titus 2:4-5, Proverbs 31:27), whether she works outside the home or not, but Vision Forum teaches that even unmarried women should not work “alongside men alongside men as their functional equals in public spheres of dominion (industry, commerce, civil government, the military, etc.)” (see point number 14 here). They take what I believe to be an extreme view in some areas. Neverthless, I think much good can be gleaned from heir materials though most of us would not embrace some of their more extreme stands.

(This review will be linked to Semicolon’s Saturday Review of books and Callapidder Days’ Spring Reading Thing Reviews.)

Hodgepodge

Posted on June 16, 2009 by Barbara Harper

Busy morning — I have to run my husband’s mom over to the audiologist. The part of her hearing aid that goes into her ear has torn a little.

Why does it seem when you’re most in a hurry, the computer runs the slowest?

I discovered an extra week! I had thought getting ready for Father’s Day, getting Jesse ready for camp, and getting the ladies booklet done all had to happen this week, but looking again at the calendar, I saw one of those things didn’t have to happen til next week and another the following week. That’s sure a nice feeling!

I need to get back to making lists. I always think with all the obligations of the school year past and a mostly wide open schedule, that I’ll get so much done over the summer. But somehow that’s not happening! It’s not like I am lazing around in front of the TV (summer TV is pretty much a wasteland!!) but things aren’t getting done — at least not the things I am wanting to get done, though I did get my closet cleaned out and went through a stack of magazines in addition to the ever-present laundry.

Once a quarter or so my mother-in-law’s assisted living facility has a “family dinner” where family members of the residents are invited to come for a meal, and the one for the summer was last night. Always an interesting experience. 🙂 Many of them get so agitated when there is any change and routine, and you want to somehow help them just relax and assure them it will be ok. Unfortunately, I can see seeds of that in myself already! (edited to add: I see from Thom’s comment I may have given the wrong impression. It was an enjoyable time, but some of the folks were a bit more fidgety. Jim’s mom tends to get agitated and repeat herself a bit more when anything “different” comes up, but afterward she said she enjoyed it.)

Back later to catch up with you all…..

Children, dogs, and safety

Posted on June 15, 2009 by Barbara Harper

Yesterday afternoon I heard my neighbor calling out to her little foster daughters, who obviously weren’t responding, because she kept calling over and over. It occurred to me that sometimes she lets the girls come over and pet our dog, so I thought perhaps I should go outside to check on things. I have never known our dog, Suzie, to even snap at people, much less nip or bite, unless she was hurt. She’s as gentle and patient as the day is long. Normally if any stranger comes into the yard, she lopes up to them, tongue out and tail wagging, wanting to be petted. But, still, you never know. Especially with children, a poke or pull or something sudden or unexpected, inadvertently hurting or surprising a dog, and who knows what could happen.

I went outside, and the little girl was chasing a tiny Chihuahua dog in our back yard right in front of Suzie.

I have known Suzie to snap at other dogs before, so this made me very tense. Even though Suzie was only looking at it like, “What is this thing?” — if she should snap at it and get the little girl instead — I just didn’t want to even imagine it. I went out and held her line until the mom got dog and child in tow. The mom said she knew Suzie was good with kids but jokingly said the little dog would be a “snack” for her. I told her that the only time I had seen Suzie upset and snap was at another dog so that hopefully she would understand that letting a dog and child run around near her unguarded was not safe.

Some years back a little girl in our area was severely injured when she wandered into the yard of a neighbor who had a Rottweiler. She had let the child play alone on the back yard, and the child ended up going to see the dog. I tended to be way overprotective when my children were young, so I don’t think I would ever have left them alone even in my own back yard when they were pre-school age. Who knows what they might put in their mouths or who might happen along to lure them or take them from safety or what they could get into. But I was astounded to read in the newspaper the mother’s quote, “I had told her not to go over there.” You can’t give a child at that age instructions like that and then walk off and leave them. They’re learning to obey, but they don’t have it down yet: a distraction, forgetfulness, desire, any number of things can make them forget or disregard those instructions. They need parents with them to guide them, warn them, watch out for them.

There was a big fuss in the paper about the dog being chained up, and chained dogs were supposedly more territorial and prone to attack. I don’t believe that is true. When you take a walk in any residential neighborhood, all the dogs, even the ones behind fences, get territorial and start barking. The chained ones don’t bark more than the fenced ones.

Suzie is on a chain, but she is on a line so that she can run the length of the whole yard (at night or in bad weather she is put into a smaller fended area where her dog house is, but it is too small to keep her there all the time). We do want to build a fence, but it just hasn’t been in the budget. But, as I said, she’s not a snarling, snappish dog who barks and bites anyone who comes onto the property even though she is on a line.

But whether a dog is on a line or behind a fence is really beside the point. Little fingers poked into a fence can be snapped at. The point is children should never, ever be alone in close proximity to a dog, even a neighbor’s dog, without adult supervision. Children don’t know what could provoke a dog, they don’t know the warning signs, they don’t have enough experience or common sense yet to know what to do or not do or when to back off. Even a gentle, patient dog can snap if hurt, and some dogs will snap with very little provocation.

I’m not writing this to “rant” about my neighbor; not at all. This incident just reminded me about the awful situation with this little girl and other children who have been hurt by dogs. “Better safe than sorry” should be the principle applied here.

Flag Day

Posted on June 13, 2009 by Barbara Harper

Someone mentioned yesterday that Sunday was Flag Day, and one of my sons said jokingly, “So, we’re worshiping the flag?’ No, not worshiping, but revering, respecting.

The closest thing I can liken it to is a wedding ring. What it symbolizes is more important than the symbol, but the symbol holds a special place in the hearts of its owner, too.

It’s sad to me that the flag is not more highly regarded than it is by and large these days. Maybe we’re too far removed from the days of waiting, hoping, praying through the night to see if “the flag was still there.” I think we take our freedoms too much for granted.

I posted this last year, but it is a good reminder.

I Am Old Glory

I Am Old Glory: For more than ten score years I have been the banner of hope and freedom for generation after generation of Americans.

Born amid the first flames of America’s fight for freedom, I am the symbol of a country that has grown from a little group of thirteen colonies to a united nation of fifty sovereign states.

Planted firmly on the high pinnacle of American Faith my gently fluttering folds have proved an inspiration to untold millions.

Men have followed me into battle with unwavering courage.

They have looked upon me as a symbol of national unity.

They have prayed that they and their fellow citizens might continue to enjoy the life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, which have been granted to every American as the heritage of free men.

So long as men love liberty more than life itself; so long as they treasure the priceless privileges bought with the blood of our forefathers; so long as the principles of truth, justice and charity for all remain deeply rooted in human hearts, I shall continue to be the enduring banner of the United States of America.

Originally written by Master Sergeant Percy Webb, USMC.

I love this poem as well:

Off with your hat as the flag goes by!
And let the heart have it say;
You’re man enough for a tear in your eye
That you will never wipe away.
You’re man enough for a thrill that goes
To your very finger-tips–
Ay! the lump just then in your throat that rose
Spoke more than your parted lips.
Lift up the boy on your shoulder high,
And show him the faded shred;
Those stripes would be red as the sunset sky
If death could have dyed them red.
Off with your hat as the flag goes by!
Uncover the youngster’s head;
Teach him to hold it holy and high
For the sake of its sacred dead.

~ H. C. Bunner

Graphic fis courtesy of Anne’s Place.

Friday’s Fave Five

Posted on June 12, 2009 by Barbara Harper

Susanne at Living to Tell the Story hosts a “Friday Fave Five” in which we share our five favorite things from the past week. Click on the button to read more of the details, and you can visit Susanne to see the list of others’ favorites.

1. Our ladies’ meeting at church Monday night with one of my favorite people, a “retired” missionary with one of the merriest hearts I’ve ever known.

2. The poem I posted for Poetry Friday, “The Barefoot Boy.” Though my boys don’t explore outside in the summertime now like they did when they were little, this poem just brings back those memories of when the “great outdoors” of the back yard was a wonderland.

3. Puff’s Plus with lotion has been my best friend this week.

4. I’ve just become a convert to Ricola cough drops. I like Hall’s when I’m clogged up, but they do leave kind of an unpleasant aftertaste. My husband likes Ricola better, and I tried them last night and this morning. Very soothing for a sore throat.

(Forgive me, I don’t mean to sound like I am whining or sympathy-seeking by talking about my cold all week, but it has kind of been a major factor. I’m pretty much better except for post-nasal gunk irrituating my throat and making me cough.)

5. Dinner out with my boys at Fuddrucker’s — best burgers in town, though also about the most expensive, making them only an occasional treat, plus they have luscious fudge brownies. And root beer!!

And though my root beer spillage in my car was not a favorite thing, I just want to say a special thank you to my husband. He happened to be working at home that day, and when I told him about it, I was thinking I’d just need to sop up the mess with towels and then maybe try some carpet cleaner. Without being asked, he just stopped what he was doing, got the wet-vac (that thing has paid for itself many times over!) out of the shed, cleaned out the whole mess as well as the rest of the carpet in the van on a hot, humid day with sweat dripping, all without a word of complaint. I love that guy!

Poetry Friday: The Barefoot Boy

Posted on June 12, 2009 by Barbara Harper

Poetry Friday is hosted at Critique de Mr. Chompchomp today.

I posted this a couple of years ago, but it’s once again “boyhood’s time of June,” and with three boys, I just couldn’t resist. I love this poem. These are only two of the five stanzas.

Blessings on thee, little man,
Barefoot boy, with cheek of tan!
With thy turned-up pantaloons,
And thy merry whistled tunes;
With thy red lip, redder still
Kissed by strawberries on the hill;
With the sunshine on thy face,
Through thy torn brim’s jaunty grace;
From my heart I give thee joy,—
I was once a barefoot boy!
Prince thou art,—the grown-up man
Only is republican.
Let the million-dollared ride!
Barefoot, trudging at his side,
Thou hast more than he can buy
In the reach of ear and eye,—
Outward sunshine, inward joy:
Blessings on thee, barefoot boy!

Oh for boyhood’s time of June,
Crowding years in one brief moon,
When all things I heard or saw,
Me, their master, waited for.
I was rich in flowers and trees,
Humming-birds and honey-bees;
For my sport the squirrel played,
Plied the snouted mole his spade;
For my taste the blackberry cone
Purpled over hedge and stone;
Laughed the brook for my delight
Through the day and through the night,
Whispering at the garden wall,
Talked with me from fall to fall;
Mine the sand-rimmed pickerel pond,
Mine the walnut slopes beyond,
Mine, on bending orchard trees,
Apples of Hesperides!
Still as my horizon grew,
Larger grew my riches too;
All the world I saw or knew
Seemed a complex Chinese toy,
Fashioned for a barefoot boy!

From The Barefoot Boy by John Greenleaf Whittier (1855)

The picture is Boy and Dog in Nature by Eugene Iverd, from AllPosters.com.

Feeling blah

Posted on June 11, 2009 by Barbara Harper

I finished two books this morning and I started to review one, but the with the time of day it is already and the need to get some other things done and the desire to take great care with one of them, I think I’ll save it until I can do it justice.

I was amazed at the Ladies’ meeting Monday night that I felt great, and I thought, Wow, this must’ve been the shortest cold in history! But I think the Lord was just giving me a respite to get through the meeting. Over the weekend I had more of a foggy-brained and tried feeling with a few cold symptoms, but by Tuesday morning, the drippy nose and sore throat started picking up, joined now by a barking cough. Bleah. I’m not “feeling” as bad as I did over the weekend, but this part is a real nuisance!

I slept in this morning and need to go get dressed and get a few necessities done, but otherwise I don’t have great plans for the day.

I wanted to leave with you something I marked the other day. A few years ago I read Joy and Strength, a devotional book of verses, poems and quites by Mary Wilder Tileston, because it was recommended by Elisabeth Elliot, but it hasn’t been one of my favorites. Some parts of it are too “mystical” for me. Nevertheless parts of it did really speak to me, and off and on this year I’ve been recording quotes from it that I had marked. This one from June 8 was a rebuke to me:

Put on therefore, a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; forbearing one another, and forgiving each other, if any man have a complaint against any; even as the Lord forgave you, so also do ye.
COLOSSIANS 3:12,13 (R. V.)

THE discord is within, which jars
So sadly in life’s song;
‘Tis we, not they who are in fault,
When others seem so wrong.
FREDERICK WM. FABER

SELF-PREOCCUPATION, self-broodings, self-interest, self-love,–these are the reasons why you go jarring against your fellows. Turn your eyes off yourself; look up, and out! There are men, your brothers, and women, your sisters; they have needs that you can aid. Listen for their confidences; keep your heart wide open to their calls, and your hands alert for their service. Learn to give, and not to take; to drown your own hungry wants in the happiness of lending yourself to fulfil the interests of those nearest or dearest. Look up and out, from this narrow, cabined self of yours, and you will jar no longer; you will fret no more, you will provoke no more; but you will, to your own glad surprise, find the secret of “the meekness and the gentleness of Jesus”; and the fruits of the Spirit will all bud and blossom from out of your life.
HENRY SCOTT HOLLAND

Of lists and marriage

Posted on June 10, 2009 by Barbara Harper

Some time after posting about the Marital Rating Scale from the 1930s yesterday, I remembered making my own list when I was dating (not in the 1930s! More like the 1970s). It was kind of a popular thing to do when I was in college, to make a list of what you would look for in the guy you wanted to marry.

I don’t really remember what was on mine except for the first two items. I think I may still have it in a trunk out in the shed where other things from that era are: I am hoping we can clean the shed out one of these days and get to that trunk, and I hope everything survived and isn’t mildewed or eaten by bugs!

But, being a Christian, the first necessity on my list was to marry a Christian. Secondly, he needed to be a Christian not just “in name only,” but a genuine, growing, active Christian who lived out his faith.

I think probably the rest of the items had to do with general character qualities: kindness, even-temperedness, etc. I think such a list was a good thing in that it got girls’ minds off of just hair and eye color and height and all the physical attributes and on to character and personality, the more important things. It would be interesting to compare my original list to one I made for my sons about what Christian women want in a man.

The only problem with making a list, though, is that we might not be aware of what we need. For instance, somehow I didn’t realize at the time that I was a pretty tense person. I don’t think I realized it until after we were married a while and I saw that Jim was fairly laid back. If we’d both been as intensely tense as I was, we’d have driven each other crazy. But where I can get tied up in knots about something, he can deal with it clearly and calmly, and that’s such a blessing. Of course, it can be a source of conflict — if I am all stirred up about something and he’s not, it can seem like he’s not taking it seriously or he just doesn’t understand. But by this point in our married lives –we’ll celebrate our 30th anniversary in December — I know we just approach things differently. And I think we’ve balanced each other out some: I think I’m more relaxed now, at least in some areas. But I never would have thought to put something like that on a list.

I wrote the rest of our love story out here a few years ago.

On the other hand, we have to be careful not to be overly picky and fault-finding. I believe in settings standards high, and as someone once said, it it wise to keep eyes wide open before marriage and half-shut afterward. But, as I said yesterday, no one is going to be perfect.

I had written most of this post last night, then this morning at the end of ivman‘s post on Mergers and Marriages was a link to “What she wants in a man.” I should post it separately as it is long and this post is already long (and believe it or not, I am trying to write shorter posts ), and with two posts on marriage this week I don’t want to add a third and have it look like “marriage week” here. But this just fits too well. 🙂 Enjoy!

What She Wants in a Man, Original List:

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. Imaginative and romantic

What She Wants in a Man, Revised List (age 32)

1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Romantic at least once a week

What She Wants in a Man, Revised List (age 42)

1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn’t drive off until I’m in the car
3. Works steady – splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I’m talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy foods I don’t like
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What She Wants in a Man, Revised List (age 52)

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn’t belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn’t borrow money too often
4. Doesn’t nod off to sleep when I’m venting
5. Doesn’t retell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What She Wants in a Man, Revised List (age 62)

1. Doesn’t scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn’t require much money for upkeep
4. Snores only lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he’s laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it’s the weekend

What She Wants in a Man, Revised List (age 72)

1. Breathing
2. Doesn’t miss the toilet

Marital Rating Scale

Posted on June 9, 2009 by Barbara Harper

Carrie at Reading To Know recently posted this Marital Rating Scale from the 1930s which she saw at Crooked House.

There is an article in Monitor on Psychology about it here. It was developed by a psychologist to help marriages based on interviews with 600 husbands about wives’ positive and negative qualities. I thought it was fun to look at.

This must only be the first page, because there is no way to get a Superior rating even if you scored all merits and no demerits listed here.

I get 7 demerits and 17 merits. I do tend to stay up later than my husband and I’m not as timely as I should be about mending. I wouldn’t have the first clue about how to darn socks. Thankfully curling irons take the place of going to bed with curlers and I don’t wear hose at all any more, much less with seams. But, I agree, if you’re going to wear seamed nylons, the seams need to be straight. 🙂 I do run late more often than I like — not for lack of trying to get places on time.

I think I’m an OK hostess and can carry on an interesting conversation. Meals aren’t always on time. No musical instruments, sorry! I don’t “dress” for breakfast except for a nightgown and robe, and my house isn’t always what I’d call tidy. It’s not a disaster area, but it’s not squeaky-clean. The kids generally put themselves to bed, though I do have devotions with Jesse at bedtime still. And I think I score ok on the last four items on the merit list — we get up for breakfast and church on Sundays, but I don’t wake him up until necessary.

Funny how it lists the wife being relgious and her and the children going to church. I am glad my husband takes us and doesn’t send us! And though I don’t wear red nail polish, I wonder what was considered wrong with it — probably too bold and racy in those days.

I don’t think I put cold feet on my husband, but it was funny in some of the comments on the other blogs, some thought that was a basic reason for getting married and should be written in the vows. 🙂

I wonder how a similar checklist would read today. I think some things would carry over — being clean, punctual, not flirting, etc., while the hose and nail polish issues are dated. Though we’re a traditional family, I don’t think things like putting the kids to bed belongs to one gender or the other.

There was a test for husbands, too, though this shows only the first half. Though I didn’t check off or tally up the scores, my husband rates pretty well. 🙂 But I could have told you that without a test. 😀

Though it’s fun, I don’t know how helpful this kind of thing would really be. Maybe if a couple was having trouble, this could get them started talking out the issues. But it could start one fault-finding. NO ONE is going to be perfect in anyone else’s estimation: we’re all going to have little foibles. Colossians 3:12-14 applies in marriage as much as anywhere else:

Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.