Author Archives: Barbara Harper

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About Barbara Harper

https://barbarah.wordpress.com

Friday’s Fave Five

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It’s Friday, time to look back over the blessings of the week
with Susanne at Living to Tell the Story and other friends.

Welcome to the first Friday’s Fave Fives for February! It’s been a cold, rainy month with a dusting of snow. But every day displays a little more light! Here are some highlights of this week:

1. Jesse’s 10,000th day. My older sons figured out that my youngest’s 10,000th day was coming up. They suggested we all pitch in to get him 10,000 pennies and have a little surprise get-together to commemorate the occasion. Jason and Mittu invited us for dinner, and we were able to keep the purpose a secret from Jesse.

It was fun to hear Jason tell of the reactions he got at the bank when he asked for so many pennies. He had to go to three different ones. I had no idea they put pennies into $25 bricks like this.

This is Jesse’s “I can’t believe you gave me 10,000 pennies” look.

Mittu made a wonderful dinner of tilapia. I don’t think I’ve ever had it before, or if I did, it was in a pre-flavored frozen brick and not very good. But this was great!

2. Lemon Blueberry Cake. She also made a lemon blueberry cake–a couple of Jesse’s favorite flavors. I thought I’d take a polite very small piece, because I have never had anything with that combination that I liked. But this was so good!

The boys and that gorgeous cake

3. Drawful. This is a favorite game, and the boys figured out a way to use FaceTime and Zoom so we could play it with Jeremy. And I won! 🙂

4. A five-year journal. I saw this line-a-day idea at Lisa’s and liked it so much that I ordered one. I have not kept a journal for years beyond what I record here. But I love the thought of just jotting down a line or thought from the day. I just got it, so I have not started on it yet. But I am looking forward to it.

5. Good timing. I was literally just about to leave for the grocery store when my husband brought the mail in, including a coupon for 5% off my entire order at the very store I was going to. And I had a sizable order.

What’s something good from your week?

Book Review: Influence: Building a Platform that Elevates Jesus (Not Me)

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In the very first workshop of the very first writer’s conference I attended, the speaker commented that publishing had changed significantly over the past ten years.

He didn’t say how publishing worked before. I assume writers wrote books and sent them in to the publisher, who did the rest. The author would have to fix some things after editors combed over their manuscript. But the publisher would market the book to the waiting world. And that makes sense: the publisher has a much bigger reach than individual authors in their homes.

Now, however, publishers expect authors to do most of the marketing on their own.

One reason is the rise of online book purchasing. Publishers have lost the opportunity to create attractive signs and displays to catch shoppers’ eyes as they browse a bookstore. Many brick and mortar bookstores have closed.

Additional reasons are the success of bloggers with big followings who then publish books and the availability of “influencers” on social media. And though I have not read this, I can’t help but wonder if it’s a cost-cutting measure to significantly reduce a marketing department by having writer’s do their own marketing.

So in these times, one can’t publish a book with a traditional publisher without a significant “platform.” In the blogs and Facebook writer’s groups and Twitter accounts I follow, would-be authors have lamented multiple times that they were told their concept, writing, and style were all good, but they were rejected because their platform wasn’t big enough (as determined by their social media followers and newsletter subscribers). One recent tweet I saw said the writer was told he needed upwards of 20,000 followers. I don’t know if that’s the norm. But all of this is discouraging.

Sure, anyone can self-publish these days. But a self-published book won’t get much beyond family and friends without taking some measure to get it out in front of the public.

All of this puts unknown Christian writers in a quandary. We’re supposed to humble ourselves, not exalt ourselves. We’re not supposed to be self-promotional. Drawing attention to ourselves in that way is distasteful to most of us. And we don’t want to annoy friends by constantly sharing “Buy my book!” posts on social media. So how in the world can we build a platform that publishers require and still maintain a clear conscience and a Christian testimony?

Kate Motaung and Shannon Popkin have wrestled through these issues and shared their conclusions and experiences in Influence: Building a Platform that Elevates Jesus (Not Me). They begin with this helpful analogy: instead of viewing platform like a stage where celebrities seek attention and applause, think instead of a lifeguard’s platform. He’s not there to elevate himself, but to see who needs help and get a life jacket to them. He “puts himself out there” not to be admired, but so those who need help can find him.

As Christian writers, we have a message the world needs. Focusing on serving others will help us maintain the right perspective.

Then there’s the other side of the problem: What if my book is a success? What if my blog post goes viral? How can I guard against getting big-headed and puffed up?

Kate and Shannon acknowledge that praise, attention, “likes,” and such can be addicting. They discuss pride and humility and the biblical foundations necessary for a right perspective.

They also go into envy, comparison, heart motivations, disappointments, dealing with unexpected wrenches thrown into the works. They look at how people in the Bible got their message out.

And they discuss “imposter syndrome”—the feeling that we’re fakes, that we really don’t have anything worthy to say.

The right perspective is to realize and admit that we can’t do it on our own. That we are nothing without Him. That we don’t have anything to say without His enabling. Humility is essential for the people of God. It’s a good thing to think less of ourselves. But it’s not biblical or honoring to the Lord if we doubt His ability to use us for His purposes and His glory (p. 19).

If He has called us to something, He will enable us. He doesn’t want to hide our talents in the ground. He wants us to let our lights shine where they can be seen and point the way to Himself.

There’s no need to shrink yourself down or deflate your gifts. That’s not humility any more than inflating your importance is (p. 77).

Finally, the authors discuss conquering anxiety over our platforms, times to turn down opportunities, and trusting that God is in control over all.

They’re not only grounded in Scripture, but they are transparent about their own struggles.

There are discussion questions at the end of the book for personal use to to facilitate group discussions.

The one thing I wish they had included was a chapter or appendix on practical ways to build a platform. They mention some in passing. But it would have been helpful to have a list and a brief description. No one can do all the things. Each person can only do what resonates with them and works within their time constraints and personality. But such a list might have given some new ideas to try.

Overall I thought this was an excellent book. It’s one I can highly recommend and one I should probably reread once a year or so.

(Sharing with Booknificent, Grace and Truth, InstaEncouragements,
Carol’s Books You Loved)

Book Review: In Between

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In Jenny B. Jones YA novel, In Between, 16-year-old Katie Parker finds herself a ward of the state when her mother goes to prison. Her father is out of the picture. Just about the time she gets adjusted to a group home, she’s sent to new foster parents in the small town of In Between, Texas.

But Katie doesn’t want a foster home with strangers. Her foster dad is a pastor, of all things. Katie knows next to nothing about churchy ways. Her first plan of action is to make herself as unappealing as possible so James and Millie Scott will send her back to the group home.

Meanwhile, she has multiple misadventures navigating a new school, avoiding friendship with the near-perfect Frances, who has been assigned to help her, making sense of church, and getting into trouble with her foster grandmother, “Mad Maxine.” She suspects her foster parents are hiding some secret sorrow and determines to find out what it is.

Though light and humorous in tone, the book brings out several deep truths without being preachy or didactic. I enjoyed Katie’s outside-looking-in perspective.

Some of my favorite quotes from the book:

My own mother thought variety in your diet meant eating a different Hot Pocket than you did the night before.

I was gonna read my Bible. I’m sure it’s a great book, but I decided I’d just wait for the movie.

Sometimes Christians are like Shakespeare. It’s English, but a totally different version.

I winced at Katie’s reference to God as “the Big G-man,” but she doesn’t know any better.

I don’t normally read YA (Young Adult) books. But the plot attracted me, it was on a Kindle sale, and I had enjoyed a book or two by Jenny B. Jones before. I enjoyed getting to know Katie and thought Jones did a great job telling her story.

This is the first of five books in the Katie Parker Production series.

(Sharing with Booknificent, Carol’s Books You Loved, Booknificent)

Book Review: Fear and Faith

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I was telling a friend recently that I wished we could pray and study the Bible on certain issues like anxiety or anger or being more loving and then have them settled for all time. But some of these issues seem to require a regular (sometimes daily) dose of truth. Fear and Faith: Finding the Peace Your Heart Craves by Trillia J. Newbell is another dose of truth for me.

I was not familiar with Trillia until someone I knew on Twitter kept retweeting her posts. I always liked what she had to say, so I started following her myself. I don’t remember if I discovered this book or had it recommended, but when I saw Trillia’s name, I got it. But then, it’s been sitting on my shelf for a while. I enjoyed her God’s Very Good Idea, a book for children about God’s design for different races and types of people. And then I finally picked up Fear and Faith, going through a chapter on recent Saturday mornings.

Trillia confesses she is one who “struggles with fears regularly and is fighting for faith . . . who firmly believe God is in control and yet still struggles with fear” (pp. 13-14). Exactly! I know God is in control, powerful, wise, loving, and kind. Yet fears and anxieties still come unbidden. Trillia reminds us that we’re not perfect yet, but we’re in a state of continual growth.

Trillia mentions control in almost every chapter. And it’s true, we’re less anxious in situations where we have control and we know what’s coming (or think we do).

The very thing we are holding onto (control) is, ironically, the thing we most need to let go of. As you and I come to understand that our God isn’t ruling as a tyrant but is lovingly guiding and instructing as a Father, we can loosen the tight grip on our lives that produces the bad fruit of fear. This isn’t “Let go and let God.” It’s “Let go, run hard toward your Savior, and learn to trust God” (pp. 16-17).

Trillia spends a chapter each on different kinds of fear: fear of man, fear of the future, fear of tragedy, of not measuring up, of other women, etc. She spends one chapter on “Why We Can Trust God” and another on “The Fear of the Lord”—the right kind of fear we’re supposed to have. One later chapter discusses “When Your Fears Come True”—when God allows the thing we feared or worse.

During our storms, you and I have the same God with us that the disciples had with them; we can trust that He is in the boat. He may or may not calm the storm immediately—we may have to endure great suffering—but He will not leave us (p. 141).

Trillia grounds everything she says on God’s Word. She shares from her experience and that of other women. Her writing is easily readable and relatable.

This is a good resource if you, like me, need regular doses of truth to combat anxiety and fear.

(Sharing with Carole’s Books You Loved, Booknificent, Senior Salon)

What is Success?

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What is success in the Bible?

What does the word “success” bring to mind?

Money in the bank—enough to cover bills plus a little extra? A house and two cars? A desired promotion? A vibrant ministry with thousands of followers? Plans that turn out exactly as we wanted?

Sometimes people are smack dab in the center of God’s will, yet their lives don’t appear successful.

But wait—doesn’t God promise success if we follow Him? Doesn’t Joshua 1:8 say:

This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.

And Psalm 1:3 says of the person who meditates on God’s Word day and night:

He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers.

And Proverbs 3:3-4 says:

Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man.

The very next verses in Proverbs 3 are the more well known, but we usually take them out of context:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all  your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil (verses 5-7).

Look at John the Baptist. He had faithfully preached and prepared the way of the Messiah. He pointed others to the Lamb of God, not caring that he lost “followers” to Jesus. But he spent his last years in prison and then was beheaded by an evil ruler.

After God gave Jeremiah the message He wanted him to share with the people, God said, “So you shall speak all these words to them, but they will not listen to you. You shall call to them, but they will not answer you” (Jeremiah 7:27).

When Elisabeth Elliot went to the mission field, she had every expectation that God would bless her work and that of other missionaries “in beautiful, demonstrable ways.”

Her words sounded naive. After all, she’d read missionary biographies; she knew the stories of men and women who had lost their lives, like John and Betty Stam, or lost their health, or lost their minds, in service of Christ. She was ready to pay any price to be obedient to His leading.

But, like many, she believed that God would surely take her sacrifices and make them into successes for His sake . . . glorious victories that human beings could see, that could be reported to supporters back home, bringing glory to God (Ellen Vaughn, Becoming Elisabeth Elliot, pp 100-101).

Instead, during this period in her life, Elisabeth lost a vital coworker to murder, the results of several months of linguistic study to theft, her husband and four colleagues to spears from the very tribe they were trying to reach, and the ministry she thought God had been preparing her for to relationship issues.

Elisabeth titled the book about this period of life These Strange Ashes, words taken from an Amy Carmichael poem which begins:

But these strange ashes, Lord, this nothingness,
This baffling sense of loss?

For many years, people often asked Elisabeth “if the men’s mission on Palm Beach was a ‘success.'”

To her, the only measure of any human action came down to one thing: obedience. She’d look at an interviewer as if the “success” question was dull. Yes, yes, of course. After all, they knew God wanted them to go to the tribe, and they were obedient to His leading (Vaughn, p. 259).

Vaughn goes on to say that “If ‘success’ is defined not by obedience, but by measurable outcomes, then we’ve got to get into metrics” (p. 259)—how many people were saved or called to service, and how many people the men reached as opposed to what the men might have accomplished had they lived, etc. But we can never know those things. And God doesn’t always measure success in numbers.

Elisabeth wrote:

I believe with all my heart that God’s story has a happy ending. . . . But not yet, not necessarily yet. It takes faith to hold onto that in the face of the great burden of experience, which seems to prove otherwise. What God means by happiness and goodness is a far higher thing than we can conceive (Vaughn, p. 260).

Success, basically, is doing the will of God and leaving the results to Him..

Sometimes He brings about visible results. Sometimes He turns things around, like He did for Joseph, who was the favorite son, then sold into slavery, then falsely accused and imprisoned before becoming Pharaoh’s right-hand man and saving nations from starvation. Elisabeth went on to have a long and fruitful writing and speaking ministry, made all the richer and deeper by what she went through in her early adult life. A strong group of believers grew up among the tribe she worked with her husband died for, the Waodani, with a world-wide witness despite human foibles.

Sometimes the visible outcome doesn’t occur in this life. Lazarus–not the one whom Jesus raised from the dead—was a neglected beggar at the gate of a rich man. Things weren’t set “right” in his life til he went to “Abraham’s side” and was comforted. Poor, loyal Uriah, who was so faithful that he wouldn’t enjoy the pleasures of home while the king’s soldiers were in battle, was sent to the forefront of the battle to be killed off by the king who impregnated his wife.

Hebrews 11 tells wonderful success stories of those “who through faith conquered kingdoms, enforced justice, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, were made strong out of weakness, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight. Women received back their dead by resurrection” (verses 33-35). However, “Some were tortured, refusing to accept release, so that they might rise again to a better life. Others suffered mocking and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were killed with the sword. They went about in skins of sheep and goats, destitute, afflicted, mistreated—of whom the world was not worthy—wandering about in deserts and mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth” (verses 35-38). Yet they were all “commended through their faith” (verse 39).

“For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison” (2 Corinthians 7:14).

The ultimate example of what looked like failure from a human standpoint is the life and death of Jesus

His life on earth had a most inauspicious beginning. There was the scandal of the virgin birth, the humiliation of the stable, the announcement not to village officials but to uncouth shepherds. A baby was born – a Savior and King – but hundreds of babies were murdered because of Him. His public ministry, surely no tour of triumph, no thundering success story, led not to stardom but to crucifixion. Multitudes followed Him, but most of them wanted what they could get out of Him and in the end all His disciples fled. Yet out of this seeming weakness and failure, out of His very humbling to death, what exaltation and what glory (Elisabeth Elliot, These Strange Ashes, p. 145).

The seeming failure was not a failure at all. Christ’s death accomplished salvation for all who will believe in Him.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corinthians 5:17-21).

So those verses in Joshua and Psalms and other places about success are true. God does grant success to those who meditate on His Word and walk with Him. The circumstances may or may not look successful. If things seem to be going wrong, it’s good to pray and examine our hearts and actions for sin, for blind spots, for better ways to do things. But otherwise, we can leave the results to God.

The success Psalm 1 promises is that our “leaf does not wither.” We won’t “dry up” spiritually. God will continue to give grace and strength, no matter the circumstances.

But sometimes we look at outcomes in this life, seeking the reassurance of a happy ending, and it’s just not there. What then? As Betty put it, His ways are “inscrutable.” So we have to rest, not in the peace of a pretty story, but in the reality of faith in a Person we cannot see (Vaughn, p. 245).

Psalm 1:3

(Sharing with Sunday Scripture Blessings, Selah, Scripture and a Snapshot,
Hearth and Soul, Inspire Me Monday, Senior Salon, Remember Me Monday,
Tell His Story, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee, Recharge Wednesday,
Share a Link Wednesday, Heart Encouragement, Grace and Truth.
Linking does not imply 100% agreement.)

Laudable Linkage

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A collection of good reading online

Here is a short but thought-provoking list of reads discovered this week.

Be Reasonable for the Sake of the Gospel. “Hyperbole seems to be the rhetorical strategy of the day in Christian circles. In comment boxes, imprecise language and thinking, haphazard arguments based on fallacy, and all kinds of claims about what Satan is doing often taint an otherwise helpful, measured post.” I’ve noticed this, too.

5 Common Mistakes to Avoid When Studying the Bible. “When we pick and choose verses from Scripture aimed merely at lifting our spirits when we’re feeling down, we run the risk of reducing the Bible to a self-help manual.”

Infographic: You Have More Time for Bible Reading Than You Think. Interesting graphics that show how much time it takes to read different parts of the Bible and how much time we spend in other pursuits.

The Tyranny of Tech and Trans, HT to Challies. Alarming on many levels.

I’ve heard a bit about the guarding of the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, but not as much as is shown here. I so appreciate the respect shown.

If a bear came where I was sitting, I don’t know if I could calmly sit still. But that’s probably the best thing to do.

Happy Saturday!

Friday’s Fave Five

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On Fridays I like to pause for a few moments with Susanne and friends
to reflect on some of the blessings of the week.

It has been another fairly quiet week, for which I am thankful. Here are some favorite parts:

1. An offer of pizza. I had gotten out to the store a bit later than planned on Friday. By the time I got home and we got everything put away, it was time to start dinner. Then Jim said those magic words, “Do you want to order pizza?” It’s not that getting take-out pizza is uncommon. I ask for it sometimes when I’m tired. But the fact that he took into account that I was probably tired after a long shopping excursion and offered meant a lot to me.

2. A productive day. I’d had several days where I felt like I was just spinning my wheels, busy but not accomplishing anything. Saturday morning I specifically prayed that I’d have a productive day. I got several around-the-house tasks done that morning and a lot of computer work done in the afternoon. That felt good.

3. Sunday lunch at my son and daughter-in-law’s new house. We had eaten Mexican food take-out during a work day there, and I brought dinner over on moving day. But this was the first “official” sit-down dinner there. They have everything unpacked and have gotten quite a number of projects done. Everything looks really nice!

4. Cool Ranch Doritos. Normally I don’t care for ranch-flavored things. But I snitched borrowed a few chips from someone’s plate one day, and I was hooked. I think they put something addictive in them. And this week, the sore had a buy one, get one free sale on them!

5. Blue skies and sunshine. I’ve mentioned, probably several times, longing for them. Today (Thursday afternoon) is cold, but bright and lovely. Does my heart good.

How was your week?

January Reflections

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January is usually a welcome quiet spot after the busyness of the holidays. But this year it’s appointment month for me. Mostly follow-up appointments that just happened to get bunched up together. Today is, thankfully, the last one for now.

Early in the month we helped our son and daughter-in-law move into their first purchased home. It was structurally fine but needed numerous smaller fixes–painting, patching holes, cleaning multitudes of dog hair (even from the dishwasher!), turning a space leading to the attic into a pantry, etc. They’ve just about got the preliminaries done, and then they can take some of the bigger projects one at a time. It’s exciting to see what’s new every time we go over!

We owned the house they had been renting. At one time we thought about using it as rental property or maybe moving there if we ever needed to downsize. But in the end, we decided to sell it. Jim spent a number of evenings and weekends touch-up painting and fixing things, and we all went over for an evening of cleaning. We had a good offer after just a day and a half of it being on the market! We’re waiting on the appraisal and such to be worked out but hope to close in a couple of weeks. Jim will be thrilled not to have the responsibility of two properties any more.

For the first time since about last April, COVID numbers have gone a bit down this month in our city. I hope that trend continues and spreads worldwide. But the newspaper also reported cases of a new strain that is not deadlier but is more contagious. Our church is meeting in person, with people sitting in family groups six feet apart. But a few of us are still using Zoom, mainly those with physical issues. We can’t participate in the discussion times that way like we could when we were all on Zoom, and I miss that. But I am thankful for the option to watch in real time.

Timothyisms

I don’t know if I just haven’t been paying close enough attention, or if he’s getting old enough not to say cute/funny things any more. I hope not the latter. One thing I smiled at privately: when he was packing up items from his room, he named them one by one. One was his “favorite rubber band.” 🙂

Creating

No cards this month! I can’t think of anything creative I have done in a while except hang my winter wreath out front.

Watching

We haven’t really been in movie-watching mode, either. There are a few series we follow, but not many are on now. We’ve enjoyed watching The Weakest Link. I’m still working through Lark Rise to Candleford while riding my exercise bike.

Reading

This month I finished (linked to my reviews):

I’m currently reading:

  • Nicholas Nickleby by Dickens. I’m on a quest to read the Dickens books that I haven’t yet.
  • Be Loyal (Matthew): Following the King of Kings by Warren Wiersbe
  • Write Better by Andrew Le Peau
  • The Laura Ingalls Wilder Companion by Annette Whipple
  • Influence: Building a Platform that Elevates Jesus (Not Me) by Kate Motaung and Shannon Popkin
  • In Between (A Katie Parker Productions #1) by Jenny B. Jones. I don’t usually read YA, but I found this on a Kindle sale and it looked good.
  • Fear and Faith by Trillia Newbell

That looks like a lot. But the Dickens one is an audiobook. I have been reading a chapter a week of Fear and Faith on Saturdays, which our church Bible reading plan schedules as a catch-up day if needed. I read the commentary, which amounts to half a chapter or a chapter at a time, with my morning Bible reading. I’ve been chipping away at the LIW and writing book for a long while–I don’t keep them where I usually read, so I forget about them.

Blogging

Besides books reviews and almost weekly Friday Fave Fives and Laudable Linkages, I’ve shared on the blog this month:

We have a few events to look forward to In February. And every day of winter brings us closer to spring, more sunlight, growing things returning. (Winter is not my favorite.Can you tell?) But in general I’m not looking too far ahead. There’s much in Scripture about moving forward a day at a time, a step at a time, in faith and hope and obedience.

How was your January? What are you looking forward to in February?

(Sharing with Grace and Truth, Hearth and Soul, Senior Salon, InstaEncouragements)

Book Review: Don’t Overthink It

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Many life decisions require a time of waiting and serious thought. But some of us get stuck giving too much thought to things that don’t really matter. I can’t tell you how many times I have hovered between punching in 45 or 50 seconds on the microwave before finally entering 47.

Anne wrote Don’t Overthink It: Make Easier Decisions, Stop Second-Guessing, and Bring More Joy to Your Life to help fellow overthinkers combat “analysis paralysis” and “decision fatigue.”

Overthinking also carries a significant opportunity cost. Mental energy is not a limitless resource. We only have so much to spend each day, and how we choose to spend it matters (p. 15).

I could identify with Anne Bogel’s opening illustration. She had to make a road trip, but a severe storm was predicted to come across her route. Her two main options were to leave at the appointed time and hope she was okay driving through the storm, or leave several hours earlier and miss some family activities as well as the storm. Instead of coming to a decision, she kept refreshing the weather page on her computer.

One of the biggest takeaways from the book that helped me was the realization that sometimes there is no one right perfect answer. Anne realized that in her travel decision mentioned above: she wasn’t going to be entirely happy with either option. That took some of the pressure off, and she used other factors to arrive at a decision.

I went through this a few years ago when I needed a new bedspread. I found two that I liked—unusual for me, because my favorite colors haven’t been trendy in home decorating for a number of years. I loved the fabric pattern in both. One was a little busy: a faux quilt with fabric squares in no particular order. The other was a little too plain: mostly white with a design made out of a floral fabric strip. I spent weeks (maybe months?) dropping in the two different stores to look at my choices and coming away empty-handed. I finally bought the patchwork one, put it on my bed—and immediately wished I had bought the other one. Then I realized I would have had the same reaction with whichever one I bought because neither was 100% perfect. (I did come to enjoy the bedspread I bought. But I think realizing that neither choice was perfect freed me to like the one I got instead of pining away for the other. “It doesn’t have to be perfect to be good,” p. 43)

Some of the other strategies Anne discusses are starting small, approaching change with the belief that it’s possible, examining the causes of analysis paralysis, letting go of perfectionism, letting values inform decisions, creating routines to eliminate everyday decisions, not beating yourself up over mistakes, but learning from them and moving on, building in margins for the unexpected, adopting a “try and see” approach rather than a pass/fail one, and so much more.

The last resonated with me. Anne described a yearly trip her family took in which they squeezed all the driving into one day to get it over with and have more time at their destination. For years they discussed the pros and cons of breaking the trip into two days. Finally one year they decided to just try it and see how it worked out. It was an experiment: it wouldn’t ruin their vacation. If they didn’t like it, they could go back to their one-day drive next time. That takes the pressure off.

Another tip that stood out to me: “complete the cycle,” or, basically, finish what you start. Putting things where they belong, filing the paperwork while you have it in your hand, etc. “When we promptly complete our cycles, we get to bypass all kinds of avoidable last-minute emergencies” (p. 69).

Here are a few of the many quotes I highlighted:

When seeking a solution, highly intelligent people may see whole landscapes of possibilities that others don’t see—which may inadvertently lead them to make simple decisions needlessly complex. These positive traits have an unintended consequence: they make us prone to analysis paralysis because they prod us to search for additional options, whether or not we need them. Those extra options don’t lead to better decisions; they just overwhelm us. And when we’re overwhelmed, we can’t decide anything (p. 38).

When we put off doing something we don’t want to do, we keep the unpleasant thing right in front of us for much longer than we need to. As long as we’re contemplating the issue, we’re dwelling on the negative. If we’re dreading something, we can serve ourselves well by dealing with it sooner rather than later. If we’re overthinking something we can actually do something about, the best thing we can do is speed up to move on. Take action as quickly as possible (p. 88).

It’s a mistake to give all your thoughts equal weight. Some thoughts don’t deserve to be taken seriously, so don’t dignify them with a response (p. 105).

The book is divided into three parts with questions at the end of each chapter. Linda led a discussion of each part which really enhanced our reading. (Part 1 is here, 2 is here, 3 is here.) Thank you, Linda!

I appreciated that Anne’s tips were both practical and flexible. I think this book is a good resource for anyone prone to overthink.

(I’m counting this book for the Self-Help category of the Nonfiction Reading Challenge.)

(Sharing with Carole’s Books You Loved, Booknificent)

Book Review: Becoming Elisabeth Elliot

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Elisabeth Elliot has been one of my heroes for decades. I first discovered her in college when I read Through Gates of Splendor, her book about the ministries and deaths of her husband and four friends. Then I read nearly everything she had written, received her newsletter and a Back to the Bible devotional mailing of her writings for years, and got to hear her speak in person twice.

The Elliots and their friends had wanted to reach out to a seemingly unreachable tribe in Ecuador. Though the beginning seemed promising, all five men were speared to death by the tribe, known then as Aucas (later by their own name for themselves, Waodani). A few years later, Elisabeth and her young daughter, Valerie, and Rachel Saint, sister to one of the other men, went to live among the Waodani. Some became believers, with a testimony that still stands to this day.

Elisabeth eventually came back to America. She authored 30 books and spoke to women, eventually hosting a radio program, Gateway to Joy, and sending out a monthly newsletter.

She surprised herself by remarrying a college theology professor, Addison Leitch. He succumbed to cancer four years later. She was an adjunct professor for a while. A few years later, she married Lars Gren. She had dementia the last several years of her life, lost the ability to speak, and died at age 88 on June 15, 2015.

Those are the spare details of her life. But they don’t capture her personality, her character. Why did so many women love to read her words and hear her speak and write her letters asking her advice about their problems?

Ellen Vaughn has attempted to answer those questions in her authorized biography, Becoming Elisabeth Elliot. I admit I had mixed emotions when I first heard of this project. Vaughn was well aware that she was going to be up against a number of expectations. She had access to Elisabeth’s multiple journals as well as many friends and relatives.

Of course, Elisabeth didn’t start out as the Elisabeth Elliot of such wisdom and depth. She began life as Betty Howard. Her early journals reflect a normal girlhood and a fair amount of teenage angst over boys and disagreements with her mother. Yet even as young as eleven, she showed a depth of thought and desire to follow and obey God. Betty Stam, who was killed by the Chinese along with her husband, John, had been a guest in the Howard home and made a great impression on young Betty. As a child, Betty Howard wrote and took Betty Stam’s prayer for her own.

Vaughn goes on to follow Betty’s education, meeting of Jim Elliot, and the long wrestling over whether they should marry. Jim had thought God wanted him to be a single missionary. When he became attracted to Betty, he wasn’t sure whether that was a result of God’s leading or his own desires. It took a few years to figure out. Finally he and Elisabeth married and worked among the Quichua Indians in Ecudaor. Then there are the details leading up to the Waodani outreach, the men’s deaths, Elisabeth’s wrenching grief, working with Rachel Saint, and return to the US.

The biography stops there, with a second volume in the works. I hadn’t realized that this was only part one until I started reading it. I wish that had been made more plain, but it wouldn’t have affected my desire to own and read the book.

Elisabeth was a critical thinker and wrestled with the ways of God, pat, churchy answers, what worldliness and being a missionary even meant, and so much more. She was strongly introverted and could come across as distant and aloof (when she first met Jim’s parents, he told her she had “made a universally horrible impression.”) She could seem unemotional, but she poured out her emotions in her journals.

One thing that Elisabeth discovered in her walk of faith was that God’s ways are inscrutable. She was a gifted linguist, and her first mission was an effort to reduce the Colorado language to writing. But the one man who knew both Spanish and Colorado well and who was willing to help her was senselessly murdered. Her careful work and notes were stolen. Her husband died. Her time of living with the Waodani bore some fruit but was fraught with frustrations. She felt all her work to that point was in ashes.

But she knew God was good and trustworthy, and the best thing, the only thing she could do was obey him, even when she didn’t understand. Her experiences and wrestling over issues of faith and practice made her who she was and gave her a depth and realism that struck chords with other women.

I felt overall that the biography did a good job. Ellen didn’t put Elisabeth on a pedestal, nor did she present her as unworthy of esteem. My one criticism is that, perhaps in an effort to show that Elisabeth was an ordinary woman and not a super-saint, some excerpts from her journals were shared that I can’t imagine Elisabeth would have wanted public. I understand why some people destroy their journals and letters before they die. I’m thankful Elisabeth didn’t, and I appreciate the insight they gave into her thinking. Still, some of it was probably not meant for public consumption.

Also, an index would have been helpful.

I’m looking forward to the next volume. I knew much about Elisabeth’s early life from her writings, but I’m not as familiar with the second half. I did learn several new things, however. For instance, I didn’t know (or forgot, if I had known) that Elisabeth was told about and wanted to go to the Waodani long before she and Jim married, and that part of the groups urgency to reach them was “rumors that the Ecuadorian government and the oil companies might well solve the ‘Waodani problem’ by using the military” (p. 139). Also, Through Gates of Splendor was written in a six-week period while she was in a hotel and her folks took care of her daughter. The publishers urgently wanted the story to be available. In her previous writings, I had sensed some tension between her and Rachel. The problems there are detailed here, and understandable. They were two very different personalities with completely different methods and training. I appreciate Elisabeth’s discretion in not dragging all of it out into the public eye.

I appreciate this summation of the Elliots near the end of the book:

Whether you agree or disagree with their choices, whether you resonate or not with their particular personalities, the takeaway from their lives is a reckless abandon for God. A willingness to cast off any illusions of self-protection, in order to burn for Christ. An absolutely liberating, astonishing radical freedom that comes only when you have, in fact, spiritually died to your own wants, ambitions, will, desires, reputation, and everything else (p. 274).

A couple of my friends reviewed this book as well:

Michele: A Life of Reckless Abandon for God
Ann: Becoming Elisabeth Elliot

(Sharing with Tell His Story, InstaEncouragements, Carole’s Books You Loved, Booknificent)

(I’m counting this book for the Biography category of the Nonfiction Reading Challenge.)