Author Archives: Barbara Harper

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About Barbara Harper

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Friday’s Fave Five

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Susanne at Living to Tell the Story hosts a “Friday Fave Five” in which we share our five favorite things from the past week. Click on the button to read more of the details, and you can visit Susanne to see the list of others’ favorites or to join in.

1. My Swiffer Wet-Jet. No, this is not a paid product placement. It doesn’t totally eliminate the need for an occasional deeper cleaning, but it is great for a quick mop-up.

2. This bug zapper.

It smaller than a tennis racket but larger than a fly swatter, which is nice because that makes it easier to actually connect with the bug. You press a button on the side while swinging at a bug, and when it connects it zaps it. Jesse even saw smoke ascending from a wasp he zapped. 🙂 That may sound cruel, but it is probably better than drowning it in bug spray or whapping it with a fly swatter and having it flail around til someone can grab it with a tissue and flush it.

3. I know I mentioned Texas Sheet Cake last summer when Jeremy made one for my birthday last summer, but I had a hankering for it again, so I made one. So good. Officially my favorite cake. I need to find or figure out a way to make a smaller version, though. It makes a cake the size of a cookie sheet, and though it’s flat, it’s very rich. It was all too easy to cut off a little square every time I went into the kitchen. To cut it down to just enough for everyone to have one serving would be perfect.

4. Ladies who extend themselves to my mother-in-law. She is friendly when people speak to her but has never been one to initiate friendships. She’s uncomfortable around a lot of people and has always been content to have just a few special friends. So it has been nice since we moved her here that a few ladies at church make a special point to come over and hug her and talk with her, and a couple of them go to see her about once a week. That’s a blessing to us as well as to her.

5. Fun family conversations, especially when we’re all together. This was a while back, but Jeremy was showing us some of these photos resulting from a man who gets up in the wee hours of the morning to take pictures of sleeping bugs covered in heavy dew. Though the shots are amazing, Jason remarked how odd it would seem to be on a date with a girl and try to explain doing this for a living.

I wish I could remember the exact words, because the conversation was so funny, but it developed into a scenario of the guy then throwing water on the girl so he could take her picture and the date not ending well.

I love my family! ♥

And just one more: I know I have mentioned this before as well, but I am amazed and grateful that the Lord meets our needs for the day so aptly in His Word. I was reading something a while back about how the writer preferred church services that were spontaneous and wanted the preacher to say whatever came to him at the moment rather than studying and planning ahead, as if the only way the Holy Spirit works is by spontaneity, giving someone what they need in the moment. He may do that sometimes, but He also works through preparation, planning, and study as we seek Him through the whole process. And this is a perfect example, when a passage I am reading in the course of progressing through the Bible, written thousands of years ago, or a devotional book written decades or even hundreds of years ago, has exactly what I need today when no one but the Lord could have known what my particular needs for the day would have been. Marvelous!

Happy Friday, and I hope you have a great weekend!

Flashback Friday: Funerals

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Mocha With Linda has begun a weekly meme called Flashback Friday. She’ll post a question every Thursday, and then Friday we can link our answers up on her site.

This week she writes:

I’ve had our bloggy friend Lidna on my heart as she is grieving the loss of a dear friend. And while I don’t want this to be a gloomy or painful Flashback Friday, I thought it would be interesting to reflect on how we experienced grief in our early years.

How old were you (approximately) when you attended your first funeral? Did your parents shield you from death and grief or was it viewed as a natural part of life? Did you experience any significant loss(es) in your growing up years? What were your early impressions of death and dying? And while I do not intend this in any irreverent way, are there any amusing memories associated with a death or funeral? If you have kids, how have you handled this subject with them? Feel free to share as vulnerably or as shallowly as you want!

As always, the questions are simply suggestions to prompt your memory and give you a starting point. You don’t have to answer them specifically, but you are welcome to. I know there are likely some tender memories on this subject, and most of our FF’s will be more lighthearted, but both our fun and our serious memories have made us who we are today.

My mother’s  mother passed away when I was about 4, but I don’t remember much about her. I wasn’t taken to the funeral. My grief in relation to her is more from wishing I’d had a chance to get to know her better. A great uncle passed away when I was a little older, and I was not taken to his funeral either. I don’t really remember much from my childhood having to do with death, dying, or funerals.

I did not attend my first funeral until after I was married. Someone from our church had passed away, and I thought I would feel very uncomfortable going to the viewing and talking to people while a dead body was in the room, but it was fine. It was actually a kind of reassurance, in an odd way, that the person really was no longer there, that the body is just a shell and the real person had gone on. And I thought I would dread funerals, but they were actually wonderful opportunities to support one another and put everything into perspective.For a Christian, the Bible says, “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints” Psalm 116:15 and that when we leave this body, we’re present with the Lord (II Corinthians 5:7-9.) As much as we would wish to have out loved ones back, to talk with them or hug them once more, we couldn’t wish them back to this world of sin and pain, away from the presence of the Lord. So we seek His grace while missing them, with the expectation that we’ll see them again. I can’t imagine not having that hope to hang onto.

I missed the funerals of both of my remaining grandparents: my last grandmother passed away on a Christmas Eve of a year when I had two small children, and the thought of taking a sudden trip at that time just seemed overwhelming. Then my last grandfather passed away a few years later when my own father was visiting and gravely ill, so I could not leave. At the time I consoled myself with the thought that the ones who had passed on weren’t really there, so they would not mind whether or not I came. But later I regretted not attending and having the opportunity to share those moments with my extended family.

The first funeral I attended of a close family member was my father’s several years ago, and then my mother’s just a few years ago. Though hard, my mother’s especially, is a precious memory. There were times that week I thought I would never make it through the events to come, but God wonderfully supplied His sustaining grace.

The only funny thing that I can recall was at my mother’s. The viewing was the night before the funeral, and the family arrived an hour before anyone else was scheduled to come to have a private time. For those of us coming from out of town, it was the first time to see my mom since our last visit; for those who had been at the hospital when she died, it was the first time they had seen her since that day. It was hard for us all. But after each having a moment to spend some time at my mom’s side, we all sat down on the couches in various states of tearfulness, and my mom’s sister said something that cracked us all up. I wish I could remember exactly what it was, but it was something like, “If you breathe through your mouth, you can’t cry.” It was just what was needed to change the mood in the room a little bit. Then she had her daughter read a very sweet tribute that she had written, which they asked my husband to read at the funeral the next day. Someone made a copy of it for all of us, and I keep it with the program from her funeral.

With my own children, we have always taken them with us to funerals. I felt that it was better to teach them how to deal with death than to shield them from it until it happened to someone they were particularly close to and have it then be a much harder experience. Though it is uncomfortable and no one likes death, it is actually therapeutic to visit with family and friends and to remind ourselves of the reality of heaven.

Earth Day 2010

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(Photo courtesy of the morgueFiles.)

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. Genesis 1:1.

The earth is the LORD’s, and the fulness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein. Psalm 24:1.

A wonderfully balanced blog post I just discovered: It’s not easy being green…and conservative.

Top Ten Poems

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Over Lent Sherry at Semicolon asked readers for their top ten “classic” poems — classic being defined here as older than copyright protection. Beginning the day after Easter, she has been counting down the top 100 in chronological order for Poetry Month. It will be interesting to see what favorites pop up that I’ve forgotten. She’s also including a bit of information about each one and sometimes a video of someone quoting it, plus such luscious quotes about poetry in general.

The ones I sent in were:

1. Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening by Robert Frost

I think this would be the most familiar poem to most Americans: I think most could quote the first two and last two lines.

2. How Do I Love Thee by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

The quintessential love poem.

3. To A Waterfowl by William Cullen Bryant

This might not be as familiar to most people. As I wrote in the post I linked to, I had originally read it in college, but it especially spoke to me when Elisabeth Elliot quoted some of it in her book The Savage My Kinsmen after her husband’s death.

4. To a Mouse by Robert Burns

Burns is one of my favorite poets. In this one he empathizes with a mouse whose nest he accidentally overturned while ploughing, and it contains the lines, “The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men, Gang aft agley,” or, as we often quote it in modern English, “The best laid plans of mice and men go oft awry.”

(Side note: you know what I would love: for Henry Ian Cusik, the Scottish actor who plays Desmond on “Lost,” To make a recording of his reading Burns’ poems.)

5. The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe

Another one I think many would be familiar with. I am not much for spooky stories generally, but Poe does such a good job conveying the atmosphere here.

6. A Red, Red Rose by Robert Burns

Sung beautifully by the King’s Singers here (only a snippet, I’m afraid.)

7. To My Dear and Loving Husband by Anne Bradstreet.

Another one that might not be as familiar to some, but the first two lines might be:

If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were lov’d by wife, then thee.

That was all I could think of at the time. At this point I’d add Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116 (the one about “the marriage of true minds” and “Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds.” And the more I think about it, the more several other poets come to mind. I might have to make a revised list when Sherry is done. 🙂

And I didn’t even think about Biblical poetry, but Sherry mentioned that first thing. All of the Psalms as well as other passages are poetry, though different, of course, that modern English poetry. She listed Psalm 23 as probably the most familiar and well-known Psalm, and I would agree.

And while I have snippets of other poems and names of poets running through my brain now, I’ll leave you with some favorite quotes about poems. It’s hard to define just what we like and what speaks to us about poetry, but here are some attempts:

“You cannot translate a poem into an explanation, any more than you can translate a poem into a painting or a painting into a piece of music or a piece of music into a walking stick. A work of art says what it says in the only way it can be said. Beauty, for example, cannot be interpreted. It is not an empirically verifiable fact; it is not a quantity.”~Wendell Berry, Life is a Miracle: An Essay Against Modern Superstition (Seen at Semicolon’s).

Poetry should… should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts, and appear almost a remembrance. ~John Keats

God is the perfect poet. ~Robert Browning

Poetry is life distilled. ~Gwendolyn Brooks

Poetry is thoughts that breathe, and words that burn. ~Thomas Gray

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words. ~Robert Frost

Poetry is ordinary language raised to the nth power. Poetry is boned with ideas, nerved and blooded with emotions, all held together by the delicate, tough skin of words. ~Paul Engle, New York Times, 17 February 1957

You can tear a poem apart to see what makes it tick…. You’re back with the mystery of having been moved by words. The best craftsmanship always leaves holes and gaps… so that something that is not in the poem can creep, crawl, flash or thunder in. ~Dylan Thomas, Poetic Manifesto, 1961

Happy Poetry Month!

The Week In Words

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http://breathoflifeministries.blogspot.com/2010/01/announcing-week-in-words.html Melissa at Breath of Life hosts a weekly carnival called The Week In Words,which involves sharing something from your reading that inspires you, causes you to laugh, cry, or dream, or just resonates with you in some way.

Here are a few:

From Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs:

Flint Lockwood: Come on, Steve. We’ve got a diem to carpe!

OK, technically I heard that first, but I was looking at the film on the IMDb website and looked through the quotes to get it exactly, so I did read it, too. 🙂 This was a book my son loved when he was younger, and I want to get it now and read it again and see how it compares to the film. But I just love that quote!

Here are two about books:

From a friend’s Facebook page:

A little library, growing larger every year, is an honourable part of a man’s history. It is a man’s duty to have books. A library is not a luxury, but one of the necessaries of life. Henry Ward Beecher

And I am not sure where I saw this one — possibly at Semicolon‘s:

“The student has his Rome, his Florence, his whole glowing Italy, within the four walls of his library. He has in his books the ruins of an antique world and the glories of a modern one.” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

And from a recent Elisabeth Elliot e-mail devotional, originally from her book A Lamp For My Feet:

What Fits Us For Service?

Is there any Christian who does not long for some special experience, vision, or feeling of the presence of God? This morning it seemed to me that unless I could claim such I was merely going through motions of prayer, meditation, reading; that the book I am writing on discipline will prove to be nothing but vanity and a striving after wind. The Lord brought yesterday’s word to mind again with this emphasis: it is not any experience, no matter how exciting, not any vision, however vivid and dazzling, not any feeling, be it ever so deep that fits me for service. It is the power of the blood of Christ. I am “made holy by the single unique offering of the body of Jesus Christ” (Heb 10:10), and by his blood “fit for the service of the living God.” My spiritual numbness cannot cancel that–the blood will never lose its power.

Top 100 Children’s Novels Meme

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I saw at Semicolon that Betsy at Fuse #8 has been counting down the Top 100 Children’s Novels from the survey she took back in January. Then, Teacher Ninja turned the list into a meme: which of the Top 100 Children’s Novels have you read? I’ve put the ones I have read on bold print, the ones I have only an acquaintance with in italics.

100. The Egypt Game – Snyder (1967)
99. The Indian in the Cupboard – Banks (1980) I liked them until I got to the end and was very disappointed at what was behind it all.)
98. Children of Green Knowe – Boston (1954)
97. The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane – DiCamillo (2006)
96. The Witches – Dahl (1983)
95. Pippi Longstocking – Lindgren (1950) (Saw a film years ago, not sure if I ever read it — don’t think so.)
94. Swallows and Amazons – Ransome (1930)
93. Caddie Woodlawn – Brink (1935)
92. Ella Enchanted – Levine (1997) (Saw the film, haven’t read the book)
91. Sideways Stories from Wayside School – Sachar (1978) (I don’t think I read this, but my oldest son did and enjoyed it.)
90. Sarah, Plain and Tall – MacLachlan (1985) (Saw the Glenn Close film and I think I read the book, but I can’t remember for sure.)
89. Ramona and Her Father – Cleary (1977)
88. The High King – Alexander (1968)
87. The View from Saturday – Konigsburg (1996)
86. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets – Rowling (1999)
85. On the Banks of Plum Creek – Wilder (1937)
84. The Little White Horse – Goudge (1946)
83. The Thief – Turner (1997)
82. The Book of Three – Alexander (1964)
81. Where the Mountain Meets the Moon – Lin (2009)
80. The Graveyard Book – Gaiman (200 8)
79. All-of-a-Kind-Family – Taylor (1951)
78. Johnny Tremain – Forbes (1943)
77. The City of Ember – DuPrau (2003)
76. Out of the Dust – Hesse (1997)
75. Love That Dog – Creech (2001)
74. The Borrowers – Norton (1953)
73. My Side of the Mountain – George (1959)
72. My Father’s Dragon – Gannett (1948)
71. The Bad Beginning – Snicket (1999)
70. Betsy-Tacy – Lovelace (1940)
69. The Mysterious Benedict Society – Stewart ( 2007)
68. Walk Two Moons – Creech (1994)
67. Jeremy Thatcher, Dragon Hatcher – Coville (1991)
66. Henry Huggins – Cleary (1950)
65. Ballet Shoes – Streatfield (1936)
64. A Long Way from Chicago – Peck (1998)
63. Gone-Away Lake – Enright (1957)
62. The Secret of the Old Clock – Keene (1959)
61. Stargirl – Spinelli (2000)
60. The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle – Avi (1990)
59. Inkheart – Funke (2003) (Saw the film)
58. The Wolves of Willoughby Chase – Aiken (1962)
57. Ramona Quimby, Age 8 – Cleary (1981)
56. Number the Stars – Lowry (1989)
55. The Great Gilly Hopkins – Paterson (1978)
54. The BFG – Dahl (1982)
53. Wind in the Willows – Grahame (1908)
52. The Invention of Hugo Cabret (2007)
51. The Saturdays – Enright (1941)
50. Island of the Blue Dolphins – O’Dell (1960)
49. Frindle – Clements (1996)
48. The Penderwicks – Birdsall (2005)
47. Bud, Not Buddy – Curtis (1999)
46. Where the Red Fern Grows – Rawls (1961) (Saw the film, think I read the book, can’t say for sure.)
45. The Golden Compass – Pullman (1995)
44. Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing – Blume (1972)
43. Ramona the Pest – Cleary (1968)
42. Little House on the Prairie – Wilder (1935)
41. The Witch of Blackbird Pond – Speare (1958)
40. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz – Baum (1900) (Who hasn’t seen the film? But I haven’t read it. Janet has.)
39. When You Reach Me – Stead (2009)
38. HP and the Order of the Phoenix – Rowling (2003)
37. Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry – Taylor (1976)
36. Are You there, God? It’s Me, Margaret – Blume (1970)
35. HP and the Goblet of Fire – Rowling (2000)
34. The Watsons Go to Birmingham – Curtis (1995)
33. James and the Giant Peach – Dahl (1961) (Saw the film, didn’t care for it.)
32. Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH – O’Brian (1971)
31. Half Magic – Eager (1954)
30. Winnie-the-Pooh – Milne (1926)
29. The Dark Is Rising – Cooper (1973)
28. A Little Princess – Burnett (1905)
27. Alice I and II – Carroll (1865/72)
26. Hatchet – Paulsen (1989)
25. Little Women – Alcott (1868/9)
24. HP and the Deathly Hallows – Rowling (2007)
23. Little House in the Big Woods – Wilder (1932)
22. The Tale of Despereaux – DiCamillo (2003)
21. The Lightening Thief – Riordan (2005)
20. Tuck Everlasting – Babbitt (1975) (Saw the film.)
19. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Dahl (1964) (Saw the film, think I may have read it, not sure. I think oldest son did.)
18. Matilda – Dahl (1988)
17. Maniac Magee – Spinelli (1990)
16. Harriet the Spy – Fitzhugh (1964)
15. Because of Winn-Dixie – DiCamillo (2000)
14. HP and the Prisoner of Azkaban – Rowling (1999)
13. Bridge to Terabithia – Paterson (1977)
12. The Hobbit – Tolkien (1938)
11. The Westing Game – Raskin (1978)
10. The Phantom Tollbooth – Juster (1961)
9. Anne of Green Gables – Montgomery (1908)
8. The Secret Garden – Burnett (1911)
7. The Giver -Lowry (1993)
6. Holes – Sachar (1998) (Saw the film.)
5. From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler – Koningsburg (1967)
4. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe – Lewis (1950)
3. Harry Potter #1 – Rowling (1997)
2. A Wrinkle in Time – L’Engle (1962)
1. Charlotte’s Web – White (1952)

Some of these I’ve not heard of. Some I have wanted to get to but haven’t yet. I am surprised to see The Hobbit classified as a children’s novel.

Some I have read that are not here:

The rest of the Anne of Green Gables series by L. M. Montgomery
The rest of the Little House books by Laura Ingalls Wilder
The rest of Louisa May Alcott’s books that could be classified as being children’s novels (Little Men, Jo’s Boys, Eight Cousins)
The rest of the Narnia series by C. S. Lewis
The Little Lame Prince
Five Little Peppers and How They Grew (sweet story)
Heidi
One or two of the Boxcar Children series
Several Encyclopedia Brown books
A few Hardy Boys novels
Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea (I think…)
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer or Huckleberry Finn or maybe both.
Black Beauty
The first few Lemony Snicket books
Keep the Lights Burning, Abbie (though that is probably classified as a chapter book rather than a novel.

…and possibly others I am not remembering. By the time my kids got to novels, either their reading had dropped off dramatically (my younger two) or their reading outpaced my own (my oldest).

Let me know if you do this so I can come over and compare lists. 🙂

I’ve Found a Friend

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I’ve found a Friend, O such a friend! He loved me ere I knew Him;
He drew me with the cords of love, and thus He bound me to Him;
And round my heart still closely twine those ties which naught can sever,
For I am His, and He is mine, forever and forever.

I’ve found a Friend, O such a friend! He bled, He died to save me;
And not alone the gift of life, but His own Self He gave me!
Naught that I have mine own I call, I’ll hold it for the Giver,
My heart, my strength, my life, my all are His, and His forever.

I’ve found a Friend, O such a friend! All pow’r to Him is given,
To guard me on my onward course, and bring me safe to heaven.
The eternal glories gleam afar, to nerve my faint endeavor;
So now to watch, to work, to war, and then to rest forever.

I’ve found a Friend, O such a friend! So kind and true and tender,
So wise a Counselor and Guide, so mighty a Defender!
From Him who loves me now so well what power my soul can sever?
Shall life or death, shall earth or hell? No! I am His forever.

~ James G. Small

A public service announcement concerning walkers

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No, not the walkers babies use, but the ones the elderly or disabled use.

1. Do not pull or jerk on the walker, even if trying to help the person over a bump. There are several reasons for this:

  • It throws them off balance.
  • The walker is an extension of themselves and it is an invasion of their personal space as much as if you pulled on their arm.
  • It can make them feel helpless and embarrassed.

Sometimes, however, the person may appreciate a little assistance if they are having trouble maneuvering. If you see someone trying to get their walker up a step or over a hump, be patient and observe for a moment and see if they are doing all right or seem frustrated. If you think they might like help, offer first. “Mrs. Jones, can I help you get your walker over this step here?” Don’t just jump in and jerk it. Gently lift it, especially being careful if they are leaning on it for balance: you may need to let them take your arm as well, depending on whether they can balance on their own for a moment or need help with a step.

2. The person with a walker usually understands that he or she is a little slow and you may want to get around them, and that’s fine, but please don’t cut in too closely — the sudden movement and closeness can also cause balance to waver.

3. Some people can’t stand long even with a walker. They would love to talk with you, but may need to sit down first.

4. If you see someone coming with a walker, please move out of their way. Often they feel conspicuous and cumbersome and are embarrassed to ask. Some are not, though, and will just call out a cheery, “Beep, beep!” or something similar — please don’t be offended.

5. Similarly, please don’t be offended if they accidentally bump into you. Sometimes, especially with older people, their depth perception is affected as well. Some might not even be aware that they bumped you, but most would be horrified.

I am writing both from the perspective of having used a walker for several months after TM, but also from my elderly mother-in-law’s perspective now. I think most people mean well, but have just never thought about or experienced some of these things from the point of view of one using a walker. A little patience and thoughtfulness are much appreciated.

Please feel free to share anything I may have forgotten or not thought about, but please keep it positive. I don’t want people to think we’re ranting or griping at them, but rather just informing and educating.

Friday’s Fave Five

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Susanne at Living to Tell the Story hosts a “Friday Fave Five” in which we share our five favorite things from the past week. Click on the button to read more of the details, and you can visit Susanne to see the list of others’ favorites or to join in.

My favorites from the past week or so:

1. Gorgeous weather this week at just the right temperatures.

2. Things are coming together for the ladies’ luncheon next month. We’d had the date, theme, and speaker for a few weeks: this week we got the caterer and menu lined up and got a good dent put into making favors at the ladies’ meeting Monday night. I need to get invitations and tickets made and printed off this weekend, then finish favors and centerpieces in the next week or two.

3. Chicken teriyaki and fried rice from the Japanese place at the mall. Jim volunteered to get that for dinner Monday night as I had a lot of preparation for the ladies’ meeting that night. Not only was that a big help to me, but I really like the stuff, too. 🙂

4. My Cricut Expressions cutting machine. My dear husband had given it to me almost a year ago, and I’ve played around with it, but hadn’t really gotten into it yet. I used it for a couple of pieces for the favors we made this week, and was able to get acquainted with it and figure some things out. Cutting 80 figures out with a machine was so much nicer and less time consuming than doing so by hand! And I so enjoyed “creating” and want to get back to doing more.

5. Some people might think that putting a Scripture passage on the same list as chicken teriyaki and nice weather is making light of Scripture. I don’t see it that way. Scripture is, of course, on a higher plane than these other things, but why wouldn’t something I read in the Bible be among my favorite things from the week? Anyway, in the last couple of days I have been in Exodus 32-34, where the children of Israel made the golden calf at the very time Moses was on the mountaintop receiving God’s commandments for them — after they had already promised to do what God said, and after all they had seen Him do. God in His anger at them wanted to wipe them out and start a new nation with Moses, but Moses interceded for them. Then God spared them, but said He would not go with them. Moses again pleaded with Him, and in one of my favorite passages in the Bible, God promises, “My presence shall go with thee, and I will give thee rest.” Moses replies, “If thy presence go not with me, carry us not up hence,” in other words, “We don’t want to go anywhere without you.”  Such a poignant scene, and such a wonderful promise, that we can trust Him not only to lead us but to be with us.

Flashback Friday: Music and other lessons

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Mocha With Linda has begun a new weekly meme called Flashback Friday. She’ll post a question every Thursday, and then Friday we can link our answers up on her site.

The question for today is:

If you have a child in your life, your calendar for April and May is probably quickly filling up with end-of-year activities – performances, recitals, etc. Did you take lessons as a child? Piano or another instrument? Gymnastics or dance? Other types of lessons? Were they weekly? How much were you required to practice between lessons? Did you participate in recitals? If so, do any of them stand out in your memory? Did they foster a love or a hate for that activity? Did you want to take lessons in a certain thing that you never got to? And if you have kids now, how did your experiences with taking lessons like these impact the activities you had/have them do?

Sadly, no, I never took any lessons of any kind as a child or teen until driver’s training. When I was in about the 3rd or 4th grade, there was an assembly discussing violin lessons, and I really, really wanted to take them. But money was always tight and I just assumed we wouldn’t have money for such a thing. I kick myself now, of course, for not asking about it, at least.

I did take one semester of piano in college and enjoyed it, but as it took me five years to finish a four-year course as it was, I didn’t see how I could fit any more lessons (and especially the practice times) in. I know I could learn now, but I have no desire to play before other people, and the amount of time it would take to learn to play well enough for it to be enjoyable and not frustrating  is just not something I have right now, at least not in light of all the other things I want to do. There are still times, however, when I long to just sit down at the piano and play something, to be able to express myself in that way.

I did take a few crafty type lessons as a young wife. We lived near a Christian college where the Home Economic Education girls had  to take a class called Teaching Home Economics, and one requirement of that class was to teach a course having to do with cooking, sewing, or crafts over a few weeks. The classes were free and open to the community. I took cake decorating (but sadly, did not take to it. I didn’t have a natural knack for it and didn’t want to put the time into practice on something that was just going to be eaten up), quilting, and a few others.

The only other lessons I have considered taking are voice lessons, but I am too self-conscious to sing alone in front of a teacher. 🙂 Plus I don’t need to add the nervousness of stress of performing in public to my life.

As far as other lessons — gymnastics, karate, etc. — that just wasn’t done much when I was a kid, at least in our circles. We mainly just rode bikes and played outside. 🙂

When my kids came along, I did want them to take piano, if nothing else. I felt that was foundational to any other instrument they might want to learn, plus it would help the if they were ever in a choir. Though not prodigies, they all did fairly well (could have done better, if they had practiced more. 🙂 ) They all wanted to quit by high school age, and I didn’t let the first two: I had heard so many people say they regretted that their mothers let them quit, plus one person we knew who was greatly skilled at it shared that he had wanted to quit when he was younger, too. So the older boys took piano through high school. By the third one, though, I was just tired of dealing with the resistance, so we did let him stop taking lessons this year. He says he just wants to take a one-year break and then come back to it…but I doubt he will. 😦

My middle son tells me he asked repeatedly to take some kind of martial arts and that I kept putting him off by saying  we should wait a while and see if he was really interested. I don’t remember that at all. I do remember thinking about it and being afraid of the Eastern religious influence. I know now that, depending on the teacher, the skills and principles can be taught without getting into the religious aspect, and I wish we had checked into it at the time. (Sorry Jason!)

I don’t remember that we really got into other lessons. They all played sports at various times, and were all in choirs at various times. We wanted to balance giving them opportunities we never had with not overloading their schedules so they (and the rest of the family) never had any down time. Besides the martial arts, I don’t remember them asking for any other lessons…except that when Jeremy was in about 4th or 5th grade, they had someone come and talk to them about playing strings, and he wanted interested in the double bass. The only problem was that they only gave the lessons during recess, and at that time he only had one recess, and one of them each week was taken up with piano lessons. I felt he needed both the physicality and the social interaction of recess more, so we didn’t sign up, and I have regretted it ever since. He tells me not to worry about it, that he hasn’t been pining away for it all these years, but I do still regret it. I think I would have signed him up if they had had an after-school program.

So, this year for us we have no piano recitals and no concerts as Jesse is not in choir this year, either. As much as I chafed at having all these programs to attend in years past, I have to admit I do kind of miss them. Not enough to go watch the other kids, though. 🙂