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Author Archives: Barbara Harper
Works For Me Wednesday: Cleaning drip pans and rings
Drip pans and rings from the stove used to be cheap enough that I tossed them out when they got covered with hard, caked-on grunge. But then they went up in price, so I wasn’t comfortable doing that as often. Yet it took a lot of scrubbing even make a dent, and getting them thoroughly clean seemed impossible. Then I came across this tip in the Frugal Living section of About.com: Dissolve about a 1/4 cup of baking soda in a large pot of warm water. Add the drip pans ands rings and boil for a few minutes. Let it all cool and then scrub the drip pans. I was amazed at how well it works.
I also started sprinkling baking powder on pans that are hard to get clean and scrubbing with a sponge that has an abrasive side. Works great and doesn’t have the fumes and irritants to my hands that other cleaners have.
Visit Rocks In My Dryer for more real live workable tips from real live people who have tried them. 🙂
A loss by any other name…is still a loss
Several years ago, friends of friends experienced a devastating loss: two of their three sons were killed in a one-car accident. Our friends were very close to the family and ministered to them as much as they could. Our church and ladies’ Bible study were frequently asked to pray for this family during the dark days of grief that followed. The family experienced many ups and downs, as you can imagine. One night at our ladies’ Bible study when this family was brought up as a prayer request in their time of loss, another sweet, well-meaning mutual friend said something like, “They haven’t lost anything. We know right where those boys are.”
I thought that, though true, it seemed a bit…insensitive, though the lady who said it is kindness personified and I know meant it as a comfort.
I’ve been dismayed over the years to hear this sentiment — that you haven’t “lost” your loved one because you know where he or she is — many more times in different situations. It seems to be “catching on.”
Well, it’s true, for those who have placed their faith in Christ. We know they are safe in heaven, free from pain, sin, temptation, enjoying the Presence of the Lord, and we know we will see them again. And that is a comfort, it really is. It is for those reasons alone we would not wish them back when our own grief longs for them.
But when we say we’ve lost them, we don’t mean it in the same sense that we lost our car keys or puppy dog. We’ve lost their presence, the ability to be with them, share with them, talk with them, experience life with them. It’s a very real loss and there’s nothing wrong with grieving over it. As far as I can recall, there was only one person in Scripture who was told not to grieve (Ezekiel 24), and that was a one-time object lesson to the children of Israel. The fact that he was told not to grieve indicates that grieving over the loss of his wife would have been the normal course of action. Paul said that he would have had “sorrow upon sorrow” if Epaphroditus had died of his illness (Phil. 2:25-30).
We do sorrow, but not as those who have no hope (“But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus.” I Thess. 4:13-14, NASB).
Romans 12:15 tells us to ” Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” Too often, instead, we want to make those who are weeping rejoice. There is a time for that, as well, but sometimes just coming alongside a fellow believer in sympathy is the best ministry.
So, I would encourage you, the next time someone tells you, “I lost my mom” (or husband or son or whomever), please, please don’t tell them they haven’t really lost anything. They really have, and counseling-by-catch-phrase is not all that helpful most of the time.
Well, I suppose I can’t really tell anyone not to say that — but just think about it and see if that’s really what you think the Lord wants you to say. Sometimes a person might benefit from being reminded that their loved one is with the Lord and free from pain and sin. Most Christians know that already, but sometimes a shift in focus might help. But don’t say it flippantly or in a way that it makes them feel guilty for grieving.
So what does one say to one who is grieving? There’s not a formula…just depend on the Lord for the right words to say and the right timing. When my mom died last December there were different things individuals said or wrote, different verses shared at different times that really helped at the moment. Sometimes just a hug, and hand on the shoulder, an “I’m so sorry — we’re praying for you” is immensely helpful. Sometimes people “pitched in” unasked in helpful ways like making a meal, offering to watch children, etc. Don’t over-worry about saying or doing the wrong thing, but just ask the Lord to speak through you if He wants to.
(There was someone with whom I was discussing these things on a forum recently, and though I don’t think that person reads my blog, just in case he does, please let me assure you this is not a “rant” and is not in response to that conversation. These thoughts have been collecting for years.)
October’s Party
October’s Party
by George Cooper
October gave a party;
The leaves by hundreds came.
The Chestnuts, Oaks and Maples,
And leaves of every name.
The Sunshine spread a carpet,
And everything was grand,
Miss Weather led the dancing,
Professor Wind the band.
The Chestnuts came in yellow,
The Oaks in crimson dressed;
The lovely Misses maple
In scarlet looked their best.
All balanced to their partners,
And gaily fluttered by;
The sight was like a rainbow
New fallen from the sky.
(Photo courtesy of stock.xchange)
He Is Seeking You
I’ve been reading through several of the stories listed at the Bloggy Tour of Testimonies, and I have to tell you, my heart is warmed to read of all the different ways God “broke through” to different people. Some were rebellious, some made false professions at first, some were “good kids” who found they were still sinners who needed the Lord, some were confused, some had a general believe that there was a God and that Jesus died for sinners without realizing, at first, that they needed to believe on Him for their own sin.
There are many on my heart who don’t know the Lord, and these testimonies have encouraged me that God is persistent in seeking out people and leading them to Himself.
These thoughts reminded me of a song I was listening to this morning from the A Quiet Heart CD:
He Is Seeking You
by Eileen Berry
Through the loveless dark this lonely night,
To your empty heart there shines a light.
Glorious light of love for all to see,
Jesus, Son of God in truth must be.
He is seeking you with a tender voice,
He is calling you to make a choice;
Tune your ear to hear this quiet sound,
He is seeking you, will you be found?
God has sent His Son through Israel
To all people who in darkness dwell.
Giver of the light to all is He;
In the face of Christ His Glory see.
He is seeking you with a tender voice,
He is calling you to make a choice;
Tune your ear to hear this quiet sound,
He is seeking you,
Will you be found?
Miscommunication
My youngest had a few days off due to a teacher’s conference, so my husband was able to take a few days off as well and took him camping overnight at a lake nearby. My oldest son and I went out there after he got off work yesterday and ate grilled hamburgers, then I came home (I am not a happy camper. 🙂 I don’t like walking with a flash light on uneven ground to the bathroom in the middle of the night and waking up feeling damp in a tent and various other things about camping.) My middle son came home about 10 pm, when it was too late to go out there.
They trooped home this morning. In the course of telling me about their time camping, my husband said, “Someone had a baby at the camp site.” I thought he meant someone gave birth (isn’t that what that sounded like?) I thought maybe some expectant mom thought she’d get a last camping trip in with her family and went into labor early, or some back-to-nature enthusiasts wanted to experience a roughing-it type of birth in the woods. My husband talked about the baby’s crying waking them up at 3 a.m. and then again at 6. I was thinking about the other sound effects and the dark and unsanitary conditions and commented about that to my husband He looked momentarily confused and said, “No…someone didn’t birth a baby there, they brought a baby to the camp site.”
Oh.
(Duh! 😳 )
Well, we had a good laugh anyway.:D
A corn of wheat
Wher’er you ripened fields behold
Waving to God their shields of gold,
Be sure some corn of wheat has died,
Some saintly soul been crucified:
Someone has suffered, wept, and prayed,
And fought hell’s legions undismayed.
–A. S. Booth Clibborn
Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit. –John 12:24
Wordless Wednesday: Brotherly Love
This is one of my favorite pictures. 🙂
It’s from a few years ago. Thankfully they still love each other. 🙂 This picture is from a few weeks ago:
You can find other neat Wordless Wednesday pictures (and even link to your own) at 5 Minutes For Moms‘ place.
Works-For-Me Wednesday: Clutter Prevention and Time Saver
Shannon over at Rocks In My Dryer hosts the weekly “Works For Me Wednesday” conglomeration of tips offered by scores of folks. She asked us to consider going back into our archives and posting a “classic” tip this week…..but since I have only been contributing for a few weeks, and therefore all of my posts would be within recent memory, and since I already had something else in mind, I’ll post my “new” one.
It took me seemingly ages (and a lot of frustration) to learn this, but it’s better to prevent clutter that to have to sort through it. One of the best ways to avoid clutter is the OHIO principle: Only Handle It Once (I first heard this from my former Home Economics teacher, Mrs. Karis Wickensimer. I don’t know it is is original with her). Most clutter comes from setting something out of place “just for now until I can get back to it ,” and by the time we get back to it, it has multiplied somehow.
Here’s one example from my early married years. We used to have a trunk in our bedroom, and at night when it was late and we were tired, we’d lay our clothes from the day across it. After several days I’d have to make time to sort through the pile. Anything that could have been worn again originally was now wrinkled and needed to be ironed or washed. Taking the few seconds to go ahead and hang clothes back up or put them in the hamper as soon as I took them off saved time and frustration and certainly made the room look a lot better. (Looking back, I can’t believe I ever used to do that. :oops:)
An example from current life: when my son brings home a permission slip for a field trip, if I set it on the counter or the desk, I’m likely to forget about it until the last minute, when it’s a mad scramble to try to find it on the day it’s needed. It’s much more efficient to go ahead and sign it, make note of the details on my kitchen calendar, get out the money for it, and have my son put it back in his bookbag right when he first gives it to me.
Using this principle not only prevents clutter but also saves time by not having to deal with the same paperwork or item again. And usually dealing with these things right away makes them a whole lot less complicated.
There are, of course, some household tasks for which this would not work well: clipping coupons, for instance, is usually best done as an assembly-line procedure with the Sunday paper insert rather than filing each individual coupon as you clip it.
And it is meant to be a general principle, not the law of the land with which you beat yourself (or anyone else). There will be times when it’s not possible. But when it is, it will save time, energy, and frustration and prevent clutter. And that works for me!
For other great tips, see this week’s WFMW posts here.
Carnival of Beauty: The Beauty of Sacrifice
The Carnival of Beauty, sponsored by Sallie at A Gracious Home and hosted this week by Renee at Of Noble Character, has as its theme this week “The Beauty of Sacrifice.”
Sacrifice, in and of itself, doesn’t seem like a beautiful word. It conjures up images of animals, blood, and altars, or it makes us think of something we should give up that we don’t want to. I looked it up on dictionary.com and found a long list of definitions for different parts of speech. One that stood out to me was, “Forfeiture of something highly valued for the sake of one considered to have a greater value or claim.”
In that definition I see a glimmer of the beauty of sacrifice.
On the one hand I think of the sacrifices God made for us. If you think of the amount of time and trouble we cost Him on an everyday basis (I hope I am not sounding irreverent: I am not meaning to) it seems like He could have created something that would have been far more pleasurable and less work for Himself. Yet He created us and He desires our fellowship. Amazing! And because He does, He sent only begotten sinless Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, to lay down His life and take on Himself our sin and the just punishment we deserved so that if we repent of our sin and believe on Him, we can be saved, cleansed, forgiven, and made His own children, with a home waiting for us in heaven and His grace, Presence, and help here and now. We don’t merit that forgiveness and salvation by any kind of sacrifice we make: there’s nothing we could ever do that would be enough to earn it. It’s a free gift based on His sacrifice.
In His example, though, I think the definition doesn’t quite fit in the sense of surrendering something highly valuable for something of more value. We are certainly not of more value than His Son. But He did love us enough to give His greatest treasure for our redemption.
The Lord Jesus, in full agreement and in full submission to His Father, willingly surrendered, sacrificed His life for us.
In light of that, any kind of sacrifice we might make for Him pales in comparison. I’ve known of dear folks who echo David Livingstone’s sentiments:
People talk of the sacrifice I have made in spending so much of my life in Africa. Can that be called a sacrifice which is simply paid back as a small part of a great debt owing to our God, which we can never repay? Is that a sacrifice which brings its own blest reward in healthful activity, the consciousness of doing good, peace of mind, and a bright hope of a glorious destiny hereafter? Away with the word in such a view, and with such a thought! It is emphatically no sacrifice. Say rather it is a privilege. Anxiety, sickness, suffering, or danger, now and then, with a foregoing of the common conveniences and charities of this life, may make us pause, and cause the spirit to waver, and the soul to sink, but let this only be for a moment. All these are nothing when compared with the glory which shall hereafter be revealed in, and for, us. I never made a sacrifice. Of this we ought not to talk, when we remember the great sacrifice which HE made who left His Father’s throne on high to give Himself for us.
(http://www.cooper.edu/humanities/classes/coreclasses/hss3/d_livingstone.html)
I understand what he means. Yet the Bible does honestly speak of sacrifices we are to make once we are His children:
Ye also, as lively stones, are built up a spiritual house, an holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices, acceptable to God by Jesus Christ. (1 Peter 2:5)
What kind of spiritual sacrifices are we to make?
For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise. (Psalm 51:16-17)
Even in Old Testament times, the sacrifices which were a picture of the coming perfect Sacrifice could be an empty ritual if one’s heart was not broken and contrite before God. I think this is the first sacrifice: our pride, our stubborn clinging to our “own” way, our laying aside of anything in our lives that is not pleasing to God. It’s also a continual sacrifice as we walk daily with the Lord, read His Word, grow in Him, and become more aware of how much that desire for our “own” way is ingrained in our thinking.
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. (Romans 12:1)
Not just our broken spirit and heart, but even our bodies are to be surrendered to Him. He reminds us that this is only our reasonable service in light of God’s mercies to us.
By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name. (Hebrews 13:15)
I’ve wondered why our praise to God would be called a sacrifice: perhaps because we have to get our attention off ourselves and our concerns.
But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased. (Hebrews 13:16)
Some years back my husband commented on the honesty of this verse, acknowledging that it does cost us something to do good to others.
But I have all, and abound: I am full, having received of Epaphroditus the things which were sent from you, an odour of a sweet smell, a sacrifice acceptable, wellpleasing to God. (Philippians 4:18)
This and the previous verse indicate that sometimes those spiritual sacrifices manifest themselves in meeting physical needs, and Paul response to the Philippians’ sacrifice shows forth some of the beauty of a sacrifice given and received.
A few years ago my husband took our youngest son out to shop for my birthday. My son was excited about perhaps getting to buy a little something for himself after getting Mom’s present. As they shopped, my son chose the item he wanted to purchase for me. My husband told him that if he got that item, that would take all the money he had. It took my son a few moments to process the realization that if he bought that gift for me, he wouldn’t be able to buy anything for himself. Finally, though a little teary, he decided to go ahead with the purchase. I can’t tell you how that touched my heart to realize that he denied himself to do something special for me.
Yea, and if I be offered upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I joy, and rejoice with you all. (Philippians 2:17)
Paul was willing for his life to be poured out in ministry to others.
And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour. (Ephesians 5:2)
Even more than Paul, Christ is our example of walking in love and giving oneself.
What makes a sacrifice seem hard is the struggle to give up what we think is ours: our time, our schedule, our goods, our lives. But as David prayed after the people of Israel offered the things needed for the building of the temple, “But who am I, and what is my people, that we should be able to offer so willingly after this sort? for all things come of thee, and of thine own have we given thee” (II Chronicles 29:14). If we remember that anything we have is not our own but was given to us by God in the first place, and if we meditate on His mercies and all He has done for us, it doesn’t seem so hard then to surrender it back to Him. Back to our definition, whatever the value of what we need to sacrifice, it pales in comparison to the worth of the One to whom we are sacrificing.
The beauty of sacrifice is the humble surrender to God of what He freely gave us, in response to His great love and mercy, for use in His service in a life of love and ministry to others, which He regards as wellpleasing, as a “sweetsmelling savour.”
God is the LORD, which hath shewed us light: bind the sacrifice with cords, even unto the horns of the altar. (Psalm 118:27)
