Category Archives: Christian Life

A New Year’s Prayer

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I saw this on Ellen‘s Facebook page yesterday, and it really resonated with me. It’s been dawning on me lately that, with my own family especially but with others as well (and even for myself), I tend to pray that whatever trial they’re going through will pass quickly and everything will work out for the best as soon as possible. That’s not wrong, I don’t think, but I often forget to pray that they’ll be strengthened in it, grow from it, see God in it, and learn whatever He has for them in allowing it. Sometimes in just wanting out of it we can miss the benefits of it.

A New Year’s Prayer

May God make your year a happy one!
Not by shielding you from all sorrows and pain,
But by strengthening you to bear it, as it comes;
Not by making your path easy,
But by making you sturdy to travel any path;
Not by taking hardships from you,
But by taking fear from your heart;
Not by granting you unbroken sunshine,
But by keeping your face bright, even in the shadows;
Not by making your life always pleasant,
But by showing you when people and their causes need you most,
and by making you anxious to be there to help.
God’s love, peace, hope and joy to you for the year ahead.

Anonymous

I pray the same for you! May 2014 be a year of growth and blessing and drawing ever nearer to our God.

Book Review: Save Me From Myself: How I Found God, Quit Korn, Kicked Drugs, and Lived to Tell My Story

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save me Save Me From Myself: How I Found God, Quit Korn, Kicked Drugs, and Lived to Tell My Story by Brian Welch wasn’t on my radar. I had heard of Korn, but I was never into metal music, never heard them, and did not know any of the band members’ names. But this book caught my eye when it was on sale for a low price for both the Kindle and audiobooks versions, so I thought I’d check it out. I was wary at first about how explicit he might have been about his former life, but Amazon reviews assured that he wasn’t graphic about it.

Brian grew up as an ordinary kid in Bakersfield, CA, who had a passion for music and was a part of several bands before Korn came together and exploded onto the music scene. He first tried drugs at the age of eight with a friend but didn’t get into them heavily until later on. By young adulthood he drank heavily, was addicted to meth, and sometimes tried other drugs. He says that meth was considered a “dirty’ drug but Xanax and prescription drugs were more respectable. He describes an ER doctor bringing drugs to the band, getting high with them all night, and then getting ready to go back to work at the ER the next morning (I would have hated to have been that guy’s patient).

Though he attained his childhood dream of becoming a rock star and loved performing, he found he was unsatisfied. There was an undercurrent of anger in his life beginning with his father’s “Mr. Hyde” moments and his own insecurities from being bullied as child. That was an aspect that caught me by surprise: I think we sometimes think of drug addicts as into it for pleasure and partying and don’t realize that they want the same things everyone else does: a home, a family, someone to love. When relationships fail and when life’s problems surface, it hurts them as deeply as anyone else, and they try to deal with the pain by anesthetizing it with drugs. But the drugs wear off, leaving them depressed, and they know they should stop, but they’re hooked. I also hadn’t realized that meth could leave a user severely depressed as they came off of it, perpetuating a vicious cycle of taking the drug again to numb the pain.

Brian quit several times, but after a time would try it again “just once,” and then “once in a while,” and before long he would be using regularly again. And before we scowl at that, we need to remember how often we’ve decided we need to “cut down” on sweets or TV or social media or whatever, only to pick it all back up again at the slightest provocation. It’s hard enough to break any habit, but when a drug is tailor-made to be physically and mentally addicting, getting off of it for good seems hopeless.

When Brian heard his five year old daughter singing around the house one of Korn’s songs about being addicted to sex, he felt something had to change, but he was so foggy from drug use that he couldn’t think clearly. He was suicidal much of the time that he wasn’t on drugs and felt that the drugs would do him in at some point, but he felt powerless to change anything.

Then God created a perfect storm to draw him to Himself: a real estate business partner who was a Christian shared a Scripture verse with him that spoke to his heart (Matthew 11:28: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest”), he began to run into old friends who had become Christians, he attended a church service with a friend, and he gradually came to a point of believing for himself on the Lord Jesus Christ for salvation. I was almost in tears at this part of the book.

Around the same time he felt he should quit Korn to focus on raising his daughter, and the rest of the book tells of his early “baby steps” as a Christian, his growth, trips to Israel and India, and working on new music.

Sometimes when a celebrity professes faith, we can be wary because we don’t know exactly what they’ve heard or why they’re responding, but as far as I can tell, Brian’s faith is the real deal. Do I agree with every little thing he wrote and has done since? No. 🙂 Some things he wrote caused me to think, “Wow, that’s some good insight,” but then a few paragraphs later I’d wince a bit. He had only been a believer for a couple of years or so when he wrote this, so I pray he will continue to grow in the Lord.

I know some of you would want to be forewarned that there is a bit of bad language scattered through the book. Most of you who have read here long know that the “f word” is usually a deal-breaker for me in books and films, particularly when it is thrown in gratuitously. It’s not just that I don’t like it (though I don’t: I loathe it), but I don’t want words like that floating around in my brain that can then come to the forefront at an inopportune moment, and the more I read them, the more likely it is that they’ll do just that. On the other hand, I have relatives who use such words, and I have to delete about every other post of theirs on Facebook because I don’t want that language on my screen and in my mind, but I can’t unfriend them, because they’re family, after all. I don’t want to be aloof from them and make them feel like they have to clean up their act before I’ll interact with them: that is the complete opposite of the grace of Jesus Christ. Sometimes we have to take people where they are. Brian did say at some point in the book that God was working on him about cussing, and hopefully as he grows in the Lord, God will speak to him about the language of Christians.

There is another issue I wanted to comment on mainly because I feel a responsibility when I mention a book here, because sometimes people have bought books on my recommendation, and I don’t want anyone to get the mistaken idea that I am promoting something in a book that I’m not. That issue in this book is speaking in tongues. The pastor and church Brian was initially under were not charismatic, but later he came under some charismatic teaching and followed it. I know there are good people on both sides of this issue: some of our relatives that we are closest to in other doctrinal issues we would differ from in this. I don’t doubt anyone’s salvation or sincerity if they speak in tongues (though we have had people doubt ours because we don’t), but I personally believe there is a good case for believing that some of the miraculous “sign” gifts like tongues, prophecies, etc., ceased once the Bible was completed. I wrestled with this a lot in my early Christian days after reading The Cross and the Switchblade and being exposed to some charismatic television. I even called in to the TV show one day, and I don’t remember if the person on the line asked me if I was saved or believed in the Lord: they asked me if I had spoken in tongues. They tried to get me to come out with a few syllables to get things going. Alone in my room I prayed that if this was something God had for me, that He would allow it to happen, and I was disappointed when nothing happened. It took me a while to realize He answered my prayer, and that He didn’t have that for me. I don’t think that the modern charismatic movement is much like the tongues-speaking in the book of Acts: there was no trying to work it up by mouthing a few syllables there, and according to Acts 2, the tongues were actual languages that the speaker didn’t know but the hearer did. I do agree with Brian when he writes that God is not going to love you more if you do or don’t speak in tongues.

I would also say to him, if I could, that though I understand his frustration over factions of Christians fighting over doctrinal issues, that doesn’t mean they’re not important and that we can chuck them overboard. The Bible has much to say about sound doctrine, and the apostles spent a lot of time correcting false doctrine. We are all at different stages of our understanding level and maturity level, so there are going to be differences of opinion. I’ve mentioned ere before that years ago when I read 50 People Every Christian Should Know by Warren Wiersbe, I was struck by the fact that many of the people he mentioned were on opposites sides of the fence on some issues, yet God mightily used all of them. That doesn’t mean those issues aren’t important: each of us is responsible to study them out before the Lord. But people can differ on some side issues and still be friends and love God and be greatly used by Him.

Brian’s style of writing is conversational and easy to read. I was immensely blessed by hearing how God brought Brian to Himself. I was a little dismayed to read that in recent years he has gone back to playing with Korn, in that the lifestyle as well as the lyrics of their old songs (at least what little I know of them from what he says of them) do not seem conducive to Christian life and growth. I hope he’s not setting himself up for a fall. Yes, as he said in an interview, Jesus did hang out with sinners, but the Bible also tells us there are some things to flee and some things to follow. But I do pray he continues to grow in the Lord and to shine for Him, and I wish him all the best.

(This will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

Happy Thanksgiving!

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So much to be thankful for –

God, all of His wonderful attributes, His lovingkindness towards us in making us, providing for us, sending His Son to die for us, loving us still when we fail..

His Word to instruct, guide, encourage us

Family near and far

Friends old and new

The fellowship of believers

Food, shelter, safety, necessities of life

“Extra” blessings of books, music, chocolate, the Internet, senses, useful occupations and enjoyable diversions

More blessings than we can count…

Though we are to give thanks every day in all things, it’s nice to have a special time of emphasis to remind us of it and revive thankfulness in our lives.

I hope you have a wonderful day with loved ones and good food and a time of pondering and thanking God for all He has provided.

Thanksgiving Bible Study

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This is a Bible study on Thanksgiving I did a few years ago. It is by no means an exhaustive study: it’s just a result of looking up “thanks” and “thanksgiving” in an online concordance. Many of the passages would fit under multiple headings and I am sure there are others that could be added. But this is a good start. It would be profitable to study many of these verses within the context of the passages they came from.

And when ye will offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving unto the LORD, offer it at your own will. Leviticus 22:29.

As ye have therefore received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk ye in him: Rooted and built up in him, and stablished in the faith, as ye have been taught, abounding therein with thanksgiving. Colossians 2:6-7.

It is a sacrifice:

By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name. Hebrews 13:15.

It is often a testimony to others of God’s person and work:

That I may publish with the voice of thanksgiving, and tell of all thy wondrous works. Psalm 26:7

I will praise the name of God with a song, and will magnify him with thanksgiving. This also shall please the LORD better than an ox or bullock that hath horns and hoofs. Psalm 69:30-31.

Ye also helping together by prayer for us, that for the gift bestowed upon us by the means of many persons thanks may be given by many on our behalf. II Corinthians 1:11.

For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God. II Corinthians 4:15.

For the administration of this service not only supplieth the want of the saints, but is abundant also by many thanksgivings unto God; Whiles by the experiment of this ministration they glorify God for your professed subjection unto the gospel of Christ, and for your liberal distribution unto them, and unto all men; And by their prayer for you, which long after you for the exceeding grace of God in you. II Corinthians 9:12-14.

And all the angels stood round about the throne, and about the elders and the four beasts, and fell before the throne on their faces, and worshipped God, Saying, Amen: Blessing, and glory, and wisdom, and thanksgiving, and honour, and power, and might, be unto our God for ever and ever. Amen. Revelation 7:11-12.

Give thanks unto the LORD, call upon his name, make known his deeds among the people. Sing unto him, sing psalms unto him, talk ye of all his wondrous works. I Chronicles 16: 8-9.

And say ye, Save us, O God of our salvation, and gather us together, and deliver us from the heathen, that we may give thanks to thy holy name, and glory in thy praise. I Chronicles 16:35.

So we thy people and sheep of thy pasture will give thee thanks for ever: we will shew forth thy praise to all generations. Psalm 79:13.

It is a good thing to give thanks unto the LORD, and to sing praises unto thy name, O most high: To shew forth thy lovingkindness in the morning, and thy faithfulness every night. Psalm 92:1-2.

Often coupled with joy and singing:

And at the dedication of the wall of Jerusalem they sought the Levites out of all their places, to bring them to Jerusalem, to keep the dedication with gladness, both with thanksgivings, and with singing, with cymbals, psalteries, and with harps. Nehemiah 12:27.

Give thanks unto the LORD, call upon his name, make known his deeds among the people. Sing unto him, sing psalms unto him, talk ye of all his wondrous works. I Chronicles 16: 8-9.

Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing. Know ye that the LORD he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name. Psalm 100:2-4.

Sing unto the LORD with thanksgiving; sing praise upon the harp unto our God. Psalm 147:6.

Therefore will I give thanks unto thee, O LORD, among the heathen, and sing praises unto thy name. Psalm 18:49

Psalm 93:1-3;

Often coupled with prayer:

Offer unto God thanksgiving; and pay thy vows unto the most High: And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me. Psalm 50:14-15.

I will offer to thee the sacrifice of thanksgiving, and will call upon the name of the LORD. Psalm 116:17.

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7.

Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving. Colossians 4:2.

Cease not to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers. Ephesians 1:16.

A result of meditating on God’s Word:

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. Colossians 3:16-17.

A result of being filled with the Spirit:

And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Ephesians 5:18-21.

Reasons to thank the Lord:

It’s commanded:

Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name. Psalm 100:4.

Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving. Colossians 4:2.
His greatness, His creation:

O come, let us sing unto the LORD: let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation.
Let us come before his presence with thanksgiving, and make a joyful noise unto him with psalms.
For the LORD is a great God, and a great King above all gods.
In his hand are the deep places of the earth: the strength of the hills is his also.
The sea is his, and he made it: and his hands formed the dry land.
Psalm 95: 1-5

Oh that men would praise the LORD for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men! And let them sacrifice the sacrifices of thanksgiving, and declare his works with rejoicing. Psalm 107:21-22.

His comfort:

For the LORD shall comfort Zion: he will comfort all her waste places; and he will make her wilderness like Eden, and her desert like the garden of the LORD; joy and gladness shall be found therein, thanksgiving, and the voice of melody. Isaiah 51: 3.

His bountiful supply:

Being enriched in every thing to all bountifulness, which causeth through us thanksgiving to God. II Corinthians 9:11.
His unspeakable gift:

Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gift. II Corinthians 9:15.

Meat:

Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth. For every creature of God is good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving: For it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer. I Timothy 4:3-5; Matthew 15:36

Deliverance from enemies:

And that bringeth me forth from mine enemies: thou also hast lifted me up on high above them that rose up against me: thou hast delivered me from the violent man. Therefore I will give thanks unto thee, O LORD, among the heathen, and I will sing praises unto thy name. II Samuel 22:49-50

And say ye, Save us, O God of our salvation, and gather us together, and deliver us from the heathen, that we may give thanks to thy holy name, and glory in thy praise. I Chronicles 16:35.

Psalm 18:48-50

His goodness:

O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good; for his mercy endureth for ever. I Chronicles 16:34; Ezra 3:11; Psalm 106:1; 107:1; 118:1, 29; 136.

His holiness:

Sing unto the LORD, O ye saints of his, and give thanks at the remembrance of his holiness. Psalm 30:4.

His deliverance from sorrow:

Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: thou hast put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness; To the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks unto thee for ever. Psalm 30:11-12

His righteous judgments:

At midnight I will rise to give thanks unto thee because of thy righteous judgments. Psalm 119: 62.

Victory over death:

The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. I Corinthians 15:56-57.

Causing us to triumph, making Himself known through us:

Now thanks be unto God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savour of his knowledge by us in every place. II Corinthians 2:14.

His working through other people:

But thanks be to God, which put the same earnest care into the heart of Titus for you. II Corinthians 8:16.

Cease not to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers. Ephesians 1:16.

We give thanks to God and the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, praying always for you, Since we heard of your faith in Christ Jesus, and of the love which ye have to all the saints. Col. 1:2-4

I Thessalonians 1:1-3; 3:9-10; II Thessalonians 2:13-14.

Saving us:

Giving thanks unto the Father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light: Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son: In whom we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins. Colossians 1:12-14.

All things:

Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Ephesians 5:20.

In everything:

In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. I Thessalonians 5:18.

Authorities:

I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; For kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty. For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour. I Timothy 2:1-3.

His power and reign:

Saying, We give thee thanks, O LORD God Almighty, which art, and wast, and art to come; because thou hast taken to thee thy great power, and hast reigned Revelation 11:17.

Results in worship:

And when those beasts give glory and honour and thanks to him that sat on the throne, who liveth for ever and ever, The four and twenty elders fall down before him that sat on the throne, and worship him that liveth for ever and ever, and cast their crowns before the throne, saying, Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created. Revelation 4:9-11.

Other passages:

Psalm 105:1-3

Getting in tune

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“Some people seem to think that if they set apart certain definite days for praise, it is enough. For example, they will be grateful for a whole day once in the year—thinking that this is the way God wants them to show their gratitude. But the annual Thanksgiving Day is not intended to gather into itself the thanksgiving for a whole year; rather it is intended to give the keynote for all the year’s life. Life’s true concert pitch, is praise. If we find that we are below the right pitch, we should take advantage of particular thanksgiving seasons to get keyed up. That is the way people do with their pianos—they have them tuned now and then, when the strings get slack and the music begins to grow discordant—and it is quite as important to keep our life in tune as our piano.” – J.R. Miller

greatisthyfaithfulness

Book Review: A Severe Mercy

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Severe MercyThere are several tracks of interest in A Severe Mercy by Sheldon Vanauken. The first is his love story with his wife, nicknamed Davy, her death, and how he dealt with it (no spoiler there: it’s mentioned up front and the whole book is colored by her death). The second is their journey from condescending atheism to Christianity, and the third is their friendship with C. S. Lewis.

The book begins, of course, with their meeting and falling quickly in love. They had a penchant for naming everything: cars, houses, events, periods in their history. They constructed what they called the Shining Barrier around their love:

The Shining Barrier – the shield of our love. A walled garden. A fence around a young tree to keep the deer from nibbling it. An fortified place with the walls and watchtowers gleaming white like the cliffs of England. The Shining Barrier – we called it so from the first – protecting the green tree of our love. And yet in another sense, it was our love itself, made strong within, that was the Shining Barrier (p. 36).

They promised to share everything in life, even to the point of deciding not to have children (because they couldn’t share in that experience equally and a child might divert their love for each other) and declaring that one would not die without the other.

They called this their pagan love, this era their pagan days, either because they were not believers at this time, or they made idols out of each other and their love, or both.

They had the opportunity to go to Oxford for a time and there met some fellow students who were Christians. They had been rather scornful of Christianity to this point, but these friends were kind, intellectual, wonderful to talk to, and they decided perhaps they should study Christianity out just to find out for themselves what they believed about it and to be fair. They read Pilgrim’s Progress, Augustine’s Confessions, and a multitude of other books, but the ones that impacted them the most were C. S. Lewis’s, who “could…swiftly cut through anything that even approached fuzzy thinking” (pp. 108-109). Vanauken wrote to Lewis a couple of times with questions which Lewis graciously answered. The book details their thought processes during this time, with Davy coming to believe first and Sheldon a couple of months later.

They thrived and grew for months, but eventually realized that Christianity itself was a breach to their “Shining Barrier.” After a while Sheldon “wanted life itself, the colour and fire and loveliness of life. And Christ now and then, like a loved poem I could read when I wanted to. I didn’t want us to be swallowed up in God….But for Davy, to live was Christ…His service was her freedom, her joy” (p. 136). He was jealous of her relationship with God and resented the intrusion of love for Christ for a time but, admitting one “cannot be only ‘incidentally a Christian.’ The fact of Christianity must be overwhelmingly first or nothing,” he eventually came to the point of realizing and being willing for full surrender himself.

Then vague symptoms Davy was having became a serious illness and then a terminal one, and the author shares the details and struggles of that time. He felt the “severe mercy” was God’s taking Davy from him in light of the fact that he still had a tendency to idolize her and their love. Perhaps. We don’t see the whole picture as God does, nor can we know all of His purposes for what He does. Davy was willing to go, even offered up her life to God for Sheldon, and God’s answer to that prayer was evidently what was best for both of them. “[Her death] saved our love from perishing in one of the other ways that love could perish. Would I not rather our love go through death than hate?”

They had visited with C. S. Lewis several times while in Oxford and their correspondence with him continued. It was interesting viewing him as someone’s friend and the impressions he made when he came to their apartment. Some 18 of his letters are included in the book. I enjoyed seeing a dashed-off note sprinkled with abbreviations yet still full of razor-sharp wit and clarity. His encouragement in Sheldon’s grief came full circle when he married Joy Davidson, came to love her, and then saw her through illness and death. Though grieving, Sheldon and Lewis both saw death as “an act which consummates, not…merely stops, the earthly life” (p. 183).

It took me a while to get into the book. My more left-brained practicality couldn’t quite fathom some of the more right-brained conversations they had at first. But after a while much in the book resonated and inspired me, especially their journey to faith and its implications on their lives. I wouldn’t agree with every little point in their theology and doctrine but I don’t feel the need to dissect that here: most of my quibbles were minor. I did enjoy each of the tracks of interest.

(This will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

Book Review: The Chance by Karen Kingsbury

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The ChanceIn The Chance by Karen Kingsbury, teenagers Ellie Tucker and Nolan Cook have been best friends since grade school. He says he is going to marry her some day, but she just laughs. Tragedy strikes when Ellie’s parents separate because her mom has been unfaithful and her dad decides suddenly to move himself and Ellie from Savannah to San Diego. Ellie and Nolan decide to write letters to each other about their true feelings, bury the letters in a tackle box under the tree in the park that is their special place, and plan to meet together in exactly 11 years to unearth to contents. They assume they’ll be in touch in the meantime, but just in case, they’ll have this last chance to connect with each other.

As it happens, they do lose touch. Ellie’s letters don’t get to Nolan and he doesn’t have an address for her. In the years that follow, Nolan realizes his dream of playing NBA basketball and Ellie becomes a single mom, barely supporting herself and her daughter as a hair stylist, all thought of college and writing a novel long gone. Ellie has also lost her childhood faith. As their 11-year rendezvous approaches, Ellie assumes Nolan has forgotten her and wouldn’t be interested anyway since their lives are so different from one another’s now.

You probably have an idea where this plot will go (especially if you’ve ever read Kingsbury), but that’s not all bad. After all, in movies like An Affair to Remember, you know, or at least hope, it will end up as you think it’s going to, and you still enjoy the ride.

I hadn’t expected, though, the depth in the subplot with Ellie’s parents and the exploration of the hard work that is involved in forgiveness and taking the first steps toward restoration. Even though the ending is maybe a bit happily-ever-after-ish, none of the characters gets there easily. If you’ve ever known anyone with these kinds of breaches in relationships, this is how you’d wish it would end.

Some readers might object to Ellie’s mother’s adultery as a catalyst for the plot-line, but I’d just say this happens all too often, even in Christian circles, and the hard consequences are clearly spelled out. Though the author tells a bit more about it than I would personally care to know, there is nothing explicit.

If you’ve read The Bridge, also by Kingsbury, the two main characters from it make an appearance in this book, though it is not necessary to know their story to understand this one.

Though there are some unlikely and mildly problematic plot elements, overall I did really enjoy this book. I listened to the audiobook version, and the narrator was okay: I’ve heard better and worse.

(This will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

Tense anticipation

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When my mother-in-law first started losing muscle strength and tone, going from a walker to a wheelchair to not being able to feed herself to “total assist,” in the physical therapist’s parlance, it seemed as if her muscles were getting limper and weaker. Now some of them are getting strong in the wrong way. When muscles are disused, they can get contracted. She received physical therapy for a few weeks in the nursing home until she “plateaued,” got to a place where they felt they were not going to see any more improvement. The aides were supposed to continue range-of-motion exercises, but being overworked and understaffed, this was neglected, especially during time she developed a pressure sore and had to remain in bed for weeks. We didn’t realize the extent of the need nor the neglect until she already started contracting. We didn’t know to keep on top of it because we thought they were doing everything they were supposed to do. When she was released from the nursing home, her legs would no longer straighten out completely and both arms tended to be drawn up to her chest.

Grandma's hands

She received physical therapy at home for four weeks, which helped, but the PT told us it was unlikely that her limbs would get completely uncontracted. They did improve, but she still keeps her left arm pulled up tightly to her chest most of the time. That makes changing clothes and cleaning hard for both her and her caregiver.

A new problem developed in the last few weeks: two fingers on her right hand began contracting, called Dupuytren’s contracture. It is extremely painful to even have the fingers moved. We have a home health nurse who comes out once a week, and she arranged for an occupational therapist to work with her fingers and arm. Of course, he has to gently but persistently open her fingers, try to stretch them out, and massage the offending tendon in her palm, and of course this about sends her through the roof in pain. She was cooperative the first time he came and even laughed and joked a little, but each visit seems to get a little harder. When she sees him she knows it is going to hurt, so she tenses up in anticipation, which makes it worse. The OT and the aide spend most of the therapy session encouraging her to relax. She can relax her arm and fingers, and when she just relaxes and lets him work and works with him, the whole session goes much better and isn’t nearly as painful. But it is hard for her to understand that or to remember it in the midst of discomfort and pain. The last time the OT was here, her muscles were tensing before he even got started.

I have to admit it’s very hard to watch her in pain, especially when she looks at me like, “WHY don’t you do something?! Why are you letting him do this to me?” I’ve even wondered, “Is this worth it? Should we just let her be?” But without some intervention she would get more contracted and in more pain. Plus the crease in her elbow and her closed hands are more prone to skin breakdown and infection if they are not opened up. Even now the aide has to be careful to wash her hands often because she gets a sour smell in them from their being closed up.

A brace is supposed to be on order (sometimes it takes a while to get things through the doctor, insurance company, and Medicare) which will help keep her hand open naturally and hopefully help over the long haul.

I’d appreciate your prayers for her about this, especially for her OT sessions.

There were some lessons for me, though, in my mother-in-law’s latest therapy session. My mind often goes into, “What’s the worst that can happen?” scenarios. If I am catching a cold, it’s probably going to turn into strep throat and lay me out for a week: if someone is late coming home, maybe they were in an accident, etc. I’m much better about that kind of thing than I used to be, but my mind still runs in those tracks sometimes, scaring myself to death with “What ifs?” I wrote an earlier post titled “When Afraid to Surrender” about the fear we sometimes have that if we truly surrender everything to the Lord, He might ask us to undergo some great trial. He does do that to people sometimes. Just ask Job, or Joni Eareckson Tada, or any number of other people. Even knowing that God has many purposes for allowing suffering doesn’t make us look forward to the prospect.

But He doesn’t want us to live in rigid anticipation, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Whatever He allows – and I am convinced every Christian undergoes trials of some kind, whether physical ailments, relationship or family issues, financial struggles, or something else – we know He has a purpose in allowing it and has promised to be with us and to give us His grace as we need it (not before it is needed).

Perhaps you’ve heard of someone who fell or was in an accident that was made worse because they threw their arms straight out ahead of them to brace themselves, and their arms or wrists were broken. I had a tumbling class in college P.E., and our teacher said if you are about to fall, the best thing you can do is roll with it. That tense rigidity only causes harm. It lessens the joy in life we should be experiencing now. It hinders whatever God is trying to do. Like the occupational therapist, He has to gently, patiently, and persistently work with the very areas that are the most painful in order to accomplish the needed good. Tension against His working only makes it harder and more painful: relaxing into His care allows Him to accomplish His purposes with much less pain and fear. He is not just a therapist: He is a loving Father who wants our good.

“Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” James 1:3-4

(Sharing with Tell His Story)

New lyrics to “So Send I You”

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When I was a teenager, the hymn “So Send I You” was sung sometimes when a missionary was there to speak at a service or, more often, at a service when the emphasis was a call to “full-time” Christian ministry. I didn’t think the lyrics  were depressing at the time: they just seemed like a serious and sober look at a calling that would probably be hard. But they do seem to emphasis the hardships and neglect the joys:

So send I you to labor unrewarded,
To serve unpaid, unloved, unsought, unknown,
To bear rebuke, to suffer scorn and scoffing-
So send I you to toil for Me alone.

So send I you to bind the bruised and broken,
O’er wand’ring souls to work, to weep, to wake,
To bear the burdens of a world aweary-
So send I you to suffer for My sake.

So send I you to loneliness and longing,
With heart ahung’ring for the loved and known,
Forsaking home and kindred, friend and dear one-
So send I you to know My love alone.

So send I you to leave your life’s ambition,
To die to dear desire, self-will resign,
To labor long, and love where men revile you-
So send I you to lose your life in Mine.

So send I you to hearts made hard by hatred,
To eyes made blind because they will not see,
To spend, tho’ it be blood, to spend and spare not-
So send I you to taste of Calvary.

As the Father hath sent Me, so send I you.

Evidently the author, Margaret Clarkson, eventually recognized the lack of balance in the hymn and penned new lyrics later in her life.

She was born into an unhappy home, was bed-bound with juvenile arthritis when she was three, and suffered migraines and vomiting. Pain was a constant companion, but she was able to attend school and become a teacher. She couldn’t find a position until she accepted one at an isolated mining camp, where general loneliness was a factor, but spiritual loneliness especially overshadowed her as she said she had no real Christian fellowship for about seven years. “So Send I You” was written at this time, colored by her loneliness and pain, and probably pretty accurate for her circumstances at the time.

Some years later, though still battling pain, she found other teaching positions and began having her writing published. She came to believe “So Send I You” was one-sided, and wrote new lyrics that she felt were more biblically balanced between the trials and joys of the Christian life under-girded by God’s grace:

So send I you-by grace made strong to triumph
O’er hosts of hell, o’er darkness, death, and sin,
My name to bear, and in that name to conquer-
So send I you, my victory to win.

So send I you-to take to souls in bondage
The word of truth that sets the captive free,
To break the bonds of sin, to loose death’s fetters-
So send I you, to bring the lost to me.

So send I you-my strength to know in weakness,
My joy in grief, my perfect peace in pain,
To prove My power, My grace, My promised presence-
So send I you, eternal fruit to gain.

So send I you-to bear My cross with patience,
And then one day with joy to lay it down,
To hear My voice, “well done, My faithful servant-
Come, share My throne, My kingdom, and My crown!”

“As the Father hath sent Me, so send I you.”

It does make a difference where our focus is.

A longer biography of Margaret is here.

I found a simple but nice rendition of the new lyrics here (I’m not familiar with the singer):

I had wanted to include this in the 31 Days of Missionary Stories, but ran out of days. 🙂 I hope it’s a blessing to you.

31 Days of Missionary Stories: Pedestals?

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We’ve come to the 31st post of this 31 day series (I started a day late, thus ending Nov. 1), and I am feeling a little like the writer of Hebrews in chapter 11, verse 32:  “And what shall I more say? for the time would fail me to tell of” David Brainerd, David Livingstone, Ida Scudder, William Borden. Henry Martyn, Ann Judson, Margaret Paton, and many more. Maybe from time to time I’ll post some of their stories, although I am sure you could find some information about them online.

I’ve tried to bring a variety in this series of “classic” missionary stories and newer ones, some from the jungle, some from the city, etc. I suppose if I had thought and planned for this enough ahead of time, I could have done them in chronological order. As it was I just went from day to day with whichever one was on my heart.

mission_biosI wanted to leave you with a list of missionary biographies I have enjoyed. Some are older and out of print, but I have had great success buying used books for just a few dollars via Amazon.com (this isn’t a commercial for them – I am not in their affiliate program, though I should probably check into it, as much as I link to them!) Any links in this list are to previous posts here on this blog.

Before I get to that list, I wanted to leave you with a quote of Elisabeth Elliot in A Lamp for My Feet:

Pedestals

A student asked me whether I thought it was a problem that we tend to place missionaries on pedestals. My answer was that indeed we do, but servants of the Lord ought to be models of the truth they proclaim. Paul was bold enough to say, “Be followers of me” (l Cor 4:16).

At the same time let us always remember that the “excellency of the power” (2 Cor 4:7 AV) is never ours but God’s. It is foolish to imagine that the missionary, or whoever the hero is, is sinless. God uses sinners–there is no one else to use.

Pedestals are for statues. Usually statues commemorate people who have done something admirable. Is the deed worth imitating? Does it draw me out of myself, set my sights higher? Let me remember the Source of all strength (“The Lord is the strength of my life,” says Ps 27:1 AV) and, cheered by the image of a human being in whom that strength was shown, follow his example.

Admittedly some of the older missionary books make missionaries look a little more saintly and unflawed. I think perhaps the authors didn’t want to gossip, or perhaps they assumed everyone knew everyone else had flaws without having to lay them out for everyone to see. Perhaps because “love covers over a multitude of sins” (I Peter 4:8), they didn’t feel at liberty to divulge those of their subject (I’ve found many an autobiography to be much more frank about the author’s failings.) But I do understand it does help us to relate better to someone when they seem more real to us, as flawed as we are, and even the Bible tells us how people failed as well as how they followed the Lord. I’ve known some people who didn’t like to read missionary biographies because they thought they were too perfect: just understand that they’re not, they would never claim to be, and be inspired by the rest of their story.

Another thing to keep in mind when you read biographies is that you might come across things you disagree with: for instance, there was a time when most missionaries, especially in more remote fields, would send their children to boarding school at a certain age because there were no other schools available. With the advent of an abundance of home schooling materials and a change in mindset over the years, most would find that unthinkable now. I wouldn’t try to justify, condemn, or defend the practice: just understand that that was the way it was then. Probably some of the very problems and sorrows inherent in that practice led to the changes we have today. Similarly, a lot of older missionaries, especially in primitive areas, would hire servants. This wasn’t so they could live a class above the people they were ministering to: it was just simply to help the missionaries with the everyday tasks that in that time and culture could literally take up all of their time, especially as, being new to the field, they might not know how to do some of the things. Hiring some helpers freed them to minister more. Also, in that way they could help a new convert whose family might have turned against them. In addition, you might find some language we would not regard as “politically correct” these days, but we can’t expect them to have the sensibilities and sensitivities that have developed over hundred of years.

Some years ago when I read 50 People Every Christian Should Know by Warren Wiersbe, I was struck by the fact that the 50 he mentioned, though they agreed on the core, fundamental doctrines, like the inspiration of the Bible, the Deity of Christ, the way of salvation being by grace through faith in Him, etc., they were on either side of a multitude of fences on other issues, yet God used each of them. That doesn’t mean those issues aren’t important: each of us is responsible to study them out before the Lord. But people can differ on some side issues and still be friends and love God and be greatly used by Him.

On the other hand, we can get too enthralled and feel we need to do everything just like they did. When I started reading biographies as a young Christian, I would read how one person had their devotions, think that was a great idea, and then do the same — until I read the next book and saw how someone else did it differently. 🙂 Some of them might have employed some practices that would be good to try, if we feel led, but we don’t need to feel compelled to copy everything they did.

On to the list. I have read all of these (some multiple times) in the last 35 years:

I compiled a list of missionary books for children here.

I know I have also read biographies of William Borden, David Livingston, David Brainerd, and Ida Scudder, but that was before the days that I wrote these things down and I can’t remember which books I read about them. And there are probably some I am forgetting. But there are some wonderful, inspiring, challenging stories there, and I hope you can find and read some of them.

I’ve enjoyed much this 31 day series, but if I do it again I think I’ll do 31 one-liners or quotes or something a little shorter. 🙂 Thankfully some of these were written years earlier for a ladies’ church newsletter and only needed a little tweaking, and some had appeared on the blog before, but some were new or were woven together from a couple of other posts. It has been so good, though, to go back over these stories of how people walked with God and how He met with them and ministered through them. I hope you’ve enjoyed the series as well.

(You can see a list of other posts in the 31 Days of Missionary Stories here.)

(This will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)