Book Review: Goforth of China

Posted on September 1, 2011 by Barbara Harper

Goforth of China by Rosalind Goforth is a book I have read many times, and I recently felt an urge to revisit it. It has taken me a while to talk about it, though, because I have so many places marked in it, it would be impossible to share all of them.

Jonathan Goforth grew up as the seventh of eleven children on a farm in Canada. Though an excellent farmer, he felt the call of God to go to China as a missionary after hearing someone speak on Taiwan. Jonathan’s mother was an excellent seamstress, but Jonathan was marked for teasing by his more urban classmates at college due to having home-made clothes and being somewhat naive and unpretentious. His fellow dorm mates went so far as to take new fabric he had bought to have new clothes made, cut a hole in it, put it over Jonathan’s head, and made him run up and down a hallway through a number of other laughing students. He felt afterward that this kind of behavior should be reported, but was told by the college authorities that it was just a harmless prank. It hurt him, not so much that this had been done to him, but that it had happened at a Christian college. Rosalind writes, “That night he knelt with Bible before him and struggled through the greatest humiliation and the first great disappointment of his life. The dreams he had been indulging in but a few days before had vanished, and before him, for a time at least, lay a lone road. Henceforth he was to break an independent trail. It is not hard to see God’s hand in this, forcing him out as it did into an independence of action which so characterized his whole after life” (pp. 31-32). By the time he graduated, he had the honor and support of the whole school, and many came to apologize for their actions that year. One particular student prayer meeting at a much-needed time helped make a definite change in his ability to use the Chinese language (told here).

College not only honed his intellect and forged his character, but it also was saw the beginnings of ministry as he reached out in various ways to lost people. He was a missionary long before he left the shores of his home country. He met his wife, Rosalind, as a fellow mission worker. Once when Jonathan left his Bible on a chair, Rosalind picked up his Bible. Finding markings throughout and the book itself falling apart, she thought to herself, “That is the man I would like to marry” (p. 49).

The Goforths headed to China at a time when the Chinese were greatly suspicious of “foreign devils.” Some of the stories circulated about the foreigners (such as the one that their medicine was so effective because it had the eyes and hearts of children in it, leading the people to fear the foreigners would kidnap their children) seem so ridiculous to read now and to think that anyone actually believed them, but suspicion was a great hindrance to their efforts to reach the Chinese. In an effort to counteract this, they held frequent tours of their home to let the Chinese see whatever they wanted to see (and sometimes the Chinese saw whatever they wanted to see by touching a dampened fingertip to the paper windows, making a peephole!) The result of one such incident I shared earlier near the end of this post.

The Goforths not only had to deal with everyday frustrations, but also major, heartbreaking trials. Four times in their ministry they lost nearly all their possessions, once by fire, once by flood, once during the Boxer rebellion (a harrowing time with a miraculous deliverance in itself), and lastly while on furlough when a new inexperienced missionary moved some of their belongings into an unlocked “leaking, thatched cowshed” (p. 211). After the last time, “when, in the privacy of their own room, the ‘weaker vessel’ broke down and wept bitter, rebellious tears, Goforth sought to comfort her by saying, ‘My dear, after all, they’re only things and the Word says, ‘Take joyfully the spoiling of your goods!’ Cheer up, we’ll get along somehow.'” He wasn’t being calloused: he had a generally faith-filled, buoyant spirit, while his wife had…one rather more like my own. The worst loss of all, though, that even shook Goforth himself was the loss of several children.

Despite and sometimes even through the trials they endured, God used them to bring many to Himself. Describing one of their evangelistic meetings, Rosalind said, “Oh, friends, who wrote in those days pitying us, would that you could have experienced, as we did day by day,…the keenest joy a human being can I believe experience, [seeing] men and women transformed by the message of God’s love in Christ” (p. 168).

Besides Goforth’s spirit mentioned above, one of his other major characteristics was his firmness of doctrine. Modernism was creeping into the church and eventually into its seminaries and missions, undermining its foundation, and Goforth saw firsthand the devastation it could wield on a person’s faith. He wasn’t afraid to speak out where he saw wrong, even if it wasn’t well-received and even (especially) when it infiltrated the church.

It was during such a time on furlough when some were even closing their pulpits to him that this was written, blessing my women’s-ministry-loving heart: “Many times as he went throughout the churches he remarked on the blessed and powerful influence of the Women’s Missionary Society. When inclined to be depressed at the general deadness of the church, cheer and comfort would often come from the warmth of receptions given by the women” (p. 340).

God greatly used the Goforths not only in various countries in their own time, but ever since then as well through Rosalind’s writings. A few years ago Lifeline Ministries reproduced the original unabridged version of Goforth of China, and I was so glad to get it. Some years back Bethany House produced an abridged version titled Jonathan Goforth (which sadly doesn’t appear to be in print any more, but used copies can be found, or perhaps you can find it in a church or Christian school library). I’m afraid I’ve misrepresented that version in the past by complaining that the point of view switched from third to first person, but as I reread the original version, I saw Mrs. Goforth did that herself: overall she acted as narrator telling their story, but in some parts she slipped into the first person as she described particular incidents, especially those involving herself directly. It’s not as hard to follow, though, in the original: maybe some of the transitions didn’t make it to the abridged version. In many ways the abridged version is easier to read: the unabridged lists a great many names and places that wouldn’t mean as much to people not living at the time of the writing. My particular copy of the reproduction of the original has what appears to be some ink level problems: on some pages the print is very light, but on others it is very heavy, almost bleeding through the page. Hopefully they fixed that in subsequent printings.

Mrs. Goforth also wrote Miracles Lives of China (which I haven’t read), How I Know God Answers Prayer, and Climbing, one of my all-time favorite books. Jonathan wrote By My Spirit, telling of the revivals God sent to China. Another book which I haven’t read but which I think is geared toward children is Jonathan Goforth: An Open Door in China by Geoff and Janet Benge, part of the Christian Heroes: Then & Now series.

In an earlier post about why I love missionary biographies, I said, “There are heroes of our spiritual heritage who inspire us in love and dedication to God and to greater faith in remembering that the God they served and loved and Who provided for and used them is the very same God we love and serve today and Who will provide for us and use us.” The Goforths are such heroes, though they might balk at such a designation. Reading about them not only inspires faith but encourages us to follow in their footsteps of dedication. I hope you’ll read more about them.

(This review will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

Why Don’t Older Women Serve?

Posted on August 30, 2011 by Barbara Harper

A lady asked that question some years ago on a Christian message forum online. She was asking why older women didn’t serve within the organized church programs. I don’t remember what I answered in response then, but it is a question that has stayed with me, and I wanted to share a few thoughts.

First, I think we need to be careful of blanket statements. Maybe there truly were no older women serving at her particular church, depending on what she meant by “older,” but that’s not to say no older woman serves anywhere. I’ve known some wonderful older women serving in various capacities, even through daunting physical problems.

Secondly, not all ministry tales place within organized church programs. More on that in a moment. Christians are to live a life of ministry, but that may look different at different phases and among different personalities. There are many ways to mentor.

It is true that sometimes older people can have the mindset that, “I’ve served my time, let the younger people do it.” “Serving my time” sounds like a prison sentence, which is not the joyful service a Christian should exemplify. As “older” ladies (however you qualify that), we do need to remember that we are called to minister to others, to exercise the gifts God gave us, to live out the Biblical “one anothers,” and we’re specifically called to teach younger women certain things. God has a function for everyone in the body of Christ. There is no retirement from serving the Lord, though that service may change as life changes.

But it is true that some of those life changes may indeed affect how we serve. It may not involve standing in front of a class, leading a seminar, or any number of “public” ministries. Here are a few reasons why older women may not serve as they did in younger years:

Physical issues.

There is a wide range of what’s “normal” at various stages of aging. Many of us probably know globe-trotting octogenarians who seem as sharp mentally and almost as able physically as people half their age. But we also know people who are nearly disabled by age-related problems in their sixties.

But even beyond known physical problems, like diabetes, high blood pressure, arthritis, etc., there may be physical problems an older woman may not want to talk about, like bladder issues or a gradual loss of control of some bodily functions. Forgive me if this is too much information for some of you, but it’s a reality for many women. One dear lady in one of our former churches came to Sunday School and church, but if we tried to persuade her to come to any other kind of ladies’ meeting, she would say, “Oh, I would love to, but I have such problems with gas, I don’t dare.” We went away chuckling to ourselves, but years later when experiencing some of the same problems, it wasn’t so funny. It’s hard to stand in front of a group when you’re afraid you might have to make a mad dash to the restroom, Kegel exercises notwithstanding. I’ve wanted to tell pastors when they make comments about people sitting near the back of the church that some of us have good reasons for being there!

Menopause.

This might be considered a subset of physical issues, but it carries emotional overtones as well. Some women seem to have smooth sailing through menopausal waters while others experience severe storms, either physically or emotionally or both. For some, the years leading up to menopause can be worse than menopause itself. I could give you details…but I’ll spare you.

Diminished capacity.

As people age they generally lose a certain amount of “oomph,” physically and even emotionally. There is pressure in ministry, and some might get to a point where they can’t handle it as well as they once did. Stress can affect the physical and emotional problem mentioned earlier. A woman may feel she is too wobbly and unsteady to take care of babies in a nursery. I’ve also known women who drive less as they get older, first at night and then generally.

Family obligations.

Middle-aged women are often in that “sandwich generation” where they have a parent in declining years who needs increasing care while their children are going through their teens or college years or navigating life on their own or getting married and having babies. I know one older couple who retired partly because all of their adult married children as well as their aging parents lived in other cities, and they wanted to be able to go help their kids when new babies came and they needed to be available to go at a moment’s notice to help their parents.

One wife I knew had a husband who traveled frequently for meetings, and after the kids moved out, he wanted her to travel with him.

Serving in other ways.

One lady used to apologize to me frequently because she couldn’t come to monthly ladies’ meetings. She had an adult son who was disabled physically and mentally, a widowed mother who depended on her for almost everything that needed to be done around the house, and she seemed to be the “go-to” person for anyone in her extended family needing a baby-sitter. Her whole life was a ministry despite the fact that she couldn’t come to “official” ladies’ meetings.

Another older lady whom I’ve looked up to as an example retired from teaching in a Christian school and led a ladies’ Bible study. She did a wonderful job, but she stepped back after a year or two (I didn’t ask her reasons). But I noticed and admired many “behind the scenes” ways in which she served. She noticed a new lady sitting by herself in one church service, greeted her, and invited her to sit with her and her husband. This sparked a friendship which eventually led to both the woman and her husband becoming vital members of the church. She had ladies over to her house for lunch and fellowship, one or two at a time. She and another lady from church visited my mother-in-law and another woman in an assisted living facility almost every Friday for years. For whatever reason she did not participate in public or organized ministry programs other than teaching a children’s Sunday School class, but she had a vibrant ministry.

New opportunities.

As women face the “empty nest,” sometimes they have a new freedom (depending on their family situations, as mentioned above) since they no longer have the everyday care of their children. For some that means taking classes or traveling or doing things they haven’t been able to do for years.

The woman I mentioned in the first paragraph went on to say that she had seen some of the same women who had “dropped out” of serving go on to take craft classes and such, and it seemed to her that if they could take classes they could serve at church. If those women are in “retirement” mentality, letting the younger women serve because the older women have already, she’s right. But it may be they don’t feel they can handle some of the stress and pressure of organized ministry, yet they can be a testimony in a more relaxed setting like a craft class.

“Burnout.”

That’s not really a term that I like, but people do feel “burned out” in the Lord’s service sometimes. And this is another area where we can’t make blanket statements, but for me, anyway, and at least for some other people, we’re more apt to feel that way when: 1) We’ve taken on way more than we should, or 2) We don’t have adequate help, or 3) We’re serving in our own strength rather than the Lord’s. I would encourage pastors and ministry leaders to watch out for the first two. Sometimes we seem to heap more responsibilities on someone who is already serving because we see that they’re doing a good job until they have more than they can handle, and sometimes people do things on their own feeling heavily burdened but not seeking help because they don’t know who to ask or feel everyone else is either too busy or doesn’t have time or isn’t interested. I love our current church’s method of having ministry teams for most areas of service in the church rather than just one person in charge of different areas. The third area, serving in our own strength, is so easy to do: sometimes we start off leaning on the Lord but then get frantic and run out on our own. We need to acknowledge our weakness and appropriate His grace and strength daily, sometimes even moment by moment.

They may not feel wanted.

Some years ago a younger woman confided to me that she and others her age didn’t come to our monthly ladies’ meetings because it was all “older” women (though most of us there didn’t think we were that much older). That was the only church I have been a part of where that happened – in most, the ladies’ group was a joyful mix of ages and life situations and one of the best formats, in my opinion, for us to learn from each other. And, happily, even in that church things began to change: one or two new younger married women started coming (unaware of the prevailing sentiment, I guess), and eventually a handful of younger women started coming. I pray the trend continues. But I have to admit that hurt, and it has created in me a hesitancy sometimes to even interact with younger women because I feel they don’t want me to. Thankfully that’s not the case, and I feel I have some wonderful friendships with younger women, but I have to battle against a fear of rejection.

It may be time to minister to them.

My in-laws were very generous in helping their extended family when they could, but as they got older, my father-in-law retired and was on permanent disability due to injuries sustained at work, and their income diminished. As we noticed some family members still coming to them for help, my husband and I remarked that the family needed to come to realize that things were changing, that we needed to have the mindset of seeing how we could help them rather than expecting they were always going to be able to help us.

That’s true in the church family as well. Long before a “senior saint” goes to live in a nursing home or with family members, they might benefit from church ministrations. One year our church ladies’ group collected items for gift bags for some of the “shut-ins” and older women in church, then we divided up the gift bags and visited the ladies and delivered the bags. The visits meant more to them than the gifts, though they appreciated the gifts very much, and we were blessed in trying to bless them.

We had an older middle-aged lady in our neighborhood whose church came over and painted the outside of her home. It was something she couldn’t do herself and couldn’t afford to pay someone to do, and this was a tremendous help to her.

Even just visiting older neighbors and church members with some regularity might open up areas of ministry: they might need little things done like light bulbs changed that they can’t reach or overgrown bushes in the yard that need a trim. They might be hesitant to ask, they often don’t want to “be a bother,” but if you just happen to be there and notice, an offer to take care of such a problem would mean a lot.

If you’re a younger woman who would love to benefit from an older woman’s wisdom, first of all spend time with older ladies. Go where they are. Ask them questions. Invite them over, talk to them at church, etc. You can ask them if they’re willing to serve in some formal way – some are able and willing. But if they decline, and especially if they’re flustered, don’t press the matter. Pray about it and ask the Lord to change their mind if it is His will or to lay someone else on your heart to ask.

And as “older” ladies, we do have to be careful that we don’t let years of experience turn us into opinionated old biddies who are critical of new ideas and who consistently say, “Well, the way we always did it was…” Holding on to sound doctrine is something we’re called to do, but we can learn to adapt to new methods and styles.

We may or may not be able to do the same kinds of ministries we’ve always done, but we can seek God as to what exactly He would like for us to do. As long as the Lord has left us here on earth, He has something for us to do, some way for us to bless others. Sometimes we can be dismayed by our limitations, but as Elisabeth Elliot once said, limitations just define our ministry: “For it is with the equipment that I have been given that I am to glorify God. It is this job, not that one, that He gave me.”

Two glad services are ours,
Both the Master loves to bless.
First we serve with all our powers –
Then with all our feebleness.

Nothing else the soul uplifts
Save to serve Him night and day,
Serve Him when He gives His gifts –
Serve Him when He takes away.

C. A. Fox

This post will be linked to Women Living Well.

Update: I followed this us with another post on Ways Older Women Can Serve.

Save

The Week In Words

Posted on August 28, 2011 by Barbara Harper

Welcome to The Week In Words, where we share quotes from the last week’s reading. If something you read this past week inspired you, caused you to laugh, cry, think, dream, or just resonated with you in some way, please share it with us, attributing it to its source, which can be a book, newspaper, blog, Facebook — anything that you read. More information is here.

I just started reading Worldliness: Resisting the Seduction of a Fallen World edited by C. J. Mahaney this week, am only 50 pages in, and have over ten quotes marked already.

Here are two from the foreward by John Piper:

The gospel makes all the difference between whether you are merely conservative or whether you are conquering worldliness in the power of the Spirit for the glory of Christ.

What does it look like when the blood of Christ governs the television and the Internet and the iPod and the checkbook and the neckline?… The only way most folks know how to draw lines is with rulers. The idea that lines might come into being freely and lovingly (and firmly) as the fruit of the gospel is rare (p. 11).

The last part of that second one is golden: too often people try to handle worldliness with rules, working from and on the external, rather than cultivating a heart after God which will then establish the “lines.”

The second is from the second chapter by Craig Cabaniss:

Glorifying God is an intentional pursuit. We don’t accidentally drift into holiness: rather, we mature gradually and purposefully, one choice at a time (p. 40).

If we’re “drifting,” it’s probably going to be in the wrong direction.

If you’ve read anything that particularly spoke to you that you’d like to share, please either list it in the comments below or write a post on your blog and then put the link to that post (not your general blog link) in Mr. Linky below. I do ask that only family-friendly quotes be included.

I hope you’ll visit some of the other participants as well and glean some great thoughts to ponder. And don’t forget to leave a comment here, even if you don’t have any quotes to share!

“I know their sorrows”

Posted on August 24, 2011 by Barbara Harper

Sometimes I am hesitant to bring up a stray thought I have wrestled with because I don’t want to implant it in anyone else’s mind and cause them the same problem. One of my college professors did that once: he brought up a question that he didn’t really answer, and every now and then it comes back to mind and plagues me. I don’t know if I was too timid to ask him to elaborate — I don’t think it really occurred to me to do so then.

But part of “bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” (II Corinthians 10:5b) is looking for Bible answers with which to combat errant thoughts, and, if we can’t find a direct answer, trusting what we do know of His character.

One of those thoughts that threatens my peace from time to time has to do with God’s care in our suffering. As much as I have thought and read about suffering and looked for Scriptural reasons for suffering, and know that He does have a reason for everything He allows, He does care and is with us in our trials, still sometimes the thought comes to mind that this is all for His purposes and His glory and we’re just expendable casualties. And though I am not suffering anything in particular just now and hadn’t thought about this lately, the passages in Daily Light this morning provided a welcome balm against such thoughts:

I know their sorrows.

A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. – Touched with the feeling of our infirmities.

Himself took our infirmities, and bare our sicknesses. – Jesus being wearied with his journey, sat thus on the well.

When Jesus … saw her weeping, and the Jews also weeping which came with her, he groaned in the spirit, and was troubled. Jesus wept. – For in that he himself hath suffered being tempted, he is able to succour them that are tempted.

He hath looked down from the height of his sanctuary; from heaven did the LORD behold the earth; to hear the groaning of the prisoner; to loose those that are appointed to death. – He knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold. – When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then thou knewest my path.

He that toucheth you toucheth the apple of his eye. – In all their affliction he was afflicted; and the angel of his presence saved them.

EXO. 3:7. Isa. 53:3. Heb. 4:15. Matt. 8:17. -John 4:6. John 11:33,35. Heb. 2:18. Psa. 102:19,20. Job 23:10. Psa. 142:3. Zech. 2:8. Isa. 63:9.

There are many others as well, such as:

But now thus saith the LORD that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. Isaiah 43:1-2.

Maybe it would be a good idea to collect them all in one place and add to them as I find them so that I can come back to them when that thought comes around again.

And while I was looking for something else this morning, I came across a video of a song along these lines sung by Christy Galkin. I hope it is a blessing to you.

The Week In Words

Posted on August 21, 2011 by Barbara Harper

Here are a few thought-provoking quotes that caught my eye this week:

From Robin Lee Hatcher‘s Facebook:

“Can an acorn become a rose, a whale fly like a bird, or lead become gold? Absolutely not. You cannot be anything you want to be. But you can be everything God wants you to be.” ~ Max Lucado

Is anyone else as tired as I am of sayings like “You can do or be anything you want” and “If you can think it, you can do it”? This was a wonderful answer to those philosophies.

And another from Robin:

“As we grow in Christ, we will learn how to appreciate peace over personal preferences. Remember, Christ is the Prince of Peace.” ~ Beth Moore

Though a little different, this reminded me of a quote from a forgotten source that it is not surrender to the Lord that causes us problems and anguish, it is the struggle against surrender. As long as we cling to our own preferences, our own way and will, we won’t have that peace of fully yielding to Christ. So why, then, do we keep doing it?!

See at Chrysalis:

“The arts are the John the Baptist of the heart, preparing the affections for Christ.” ~ Jacques Maritain

And finally, from another friend’s Facebook:

“Revivals should not be necessary. God intended that His people should grow in grace & holiness without periodic spells of backsliding & repenting. But so long as we have such a malarial brand of Christianity, a fever & a chill, a fever & a chill, we shall need revivals.” ~ Vance Havner

I hope you’ll visit some of the other participants as well and glean some great thoughts to ponder. And don’t forget to leave a comment here, even if you don’t have any quotes to share! 🙂

The Week In Words

Posted on August 15, 2011 by Barbara Harper

This was from Robin Lee Hatcher’s Facebook page:

“Fear of trials sometimes depletes more energy than facing trials!” Beth Moore

Isn’t that the truth?! I can waste so much time and energy on something that turns out not to be a problem after all.

And from John Piper’s Twitter feed:

After calming the sea [Jesus] said, “Why are you afraid?” Not because Christians never drown. But they are safe in drowning.

I’ve often thought that if ever there were a legitimate fear, being at sea in a storm was one, and yet Jesus questioned the disciples’ fear there. This gives insight as to why. Even if “the worst” happens — they would still be safe, as will we if we’re trusting in Jesus as Savior.

I shared this among my links on Saturday, but it was so good I wanted to mention it again in case anyone missed it. From the article We Need Boring Christians:

Many of us want to do something awesome, something epic. We tend to think that the more normal, the less ‘spiritual.’ So it is quite possible that our aspirations to be radical stem from dangerous ambitions to perform biography-worthy feats of global glory.

God does call some people some times to do something radical, something “epic,” but He also calls each of us to be faithful in everyday, “ordinary” life.

I hope you’ll visit some of the other participants as well and glean some great thoughts to ponder. And don’t forget to leave a comment here, even if you don’t have any quotes to share!

What do adults “owe” parents?

Posted on August 9, 2011 by Barbara Harper

Recently we watched “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?” The major issue in the film is interracial marriage, but that’s not what I want to discuss today (Roger Ebert has a great review of the film here.

Something that stood out to me was the speech Sidney Poitier’s character made to his father. His father is opposed to his son’s marrying a white woman, and when Poitier’s character tells his father to “shut up and let me think,” his father indignantly begins to list what he and his wife sacrificed for their son and what he owes them.

If I transcribed it correctly, the part that especially caught my ear and provided food for thought for several days was this:

I owe you nothing…You did what you were supposed to do because you brought me into this world, and from that day you owed me everything you could ever do for me, just like I will owe my son if I ever have another. But you don’t own me. You can’t tell me when or where I am out of line or try to get me to live my life according to your rules….Not until your whole generation has lain down and died will the dead weight of you be off our backs…You’ve got to get off my back.

Admittedly, both characters were having pressured-filled days, and the son later softened his tone and professed his love for his father.

I don’t want to critique this from a Christian viewpoint because I know it wasn’t written that way, and there was fault of both sides in that scene, but for now I want to take this concept of what adult children “owe” their parents out of the context of the film and just ponder it.

Truly parents shouldn’t do what they do for children for “payback,” and neither should they hold it over their offsprings’ heads as a manipulation to do things their way out of guilt, though there may be times a little adjustment in the kids’ perspective is in order. There comes a time a man has to “leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife” (Genesis 2:24; Mark 10:7; Ephesians 5:31), to step out on his own as an adult, and come to his own convictions and rules.

But there are things we do owe parents even after we’re out of the home and out from under their direct authority.

Honor

The fifth of the ten commandments was not given only to children: “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.” We usually apply it to children, but children aren’t specified in that passage. Even when we’re out from under a parent’s direct authority, we’re still to honor them. Even if they’re not everything they ought to be (who among us is?), we’re still to honor them.

Respect

This is perhaps a part of honor. Leviticus 19:32 says, “Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy God: I am the LORD,” and Proverbs 16:31 says, “The hoary head is a crown of glory, if it be found in the way of righteousness.” Proverbs 23:22 says, “Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old.” I wrote some thoughts about this a while back here. Society today does not value the elderly much, but in God’s economy we’re to greatly respect them. But the tenor of Scripture indicates respect of parents even before they get to be “elderly” — you can’t read far through Proverbs especially without picking up on that attitude.

A Hearing

The book of Proverbs is a father’s instruction to his son, except for the last chapter which is a mother’s instruction. I don’t know that all of that instruction is aimed at a minor child. Other places in the Bible, as well, urge us to listen to advice, instruction, and even rebuke from those who are wiser and more mature than we are, and parents should surely be among the first we’d listen to, because they know us best and are the most interested, usually, in our well-being and outcome. Again, not every parent’s every piece of advice is going to be on target, but it shouldn’t be dismissed out of hand: it should at least be given a fair hearing and then evaluated in light of God’s Word and prayer.

Appreciation

Honestly, I can’t think of a Bible verse for this one, but if gratitude and appreciation for what others have done are good character traits, they should certainly be applied to parents. I’ve written before about how children don’t fully understand what’s been done for them until they’re older, usually when they have children of their own. Even now that I am in my 50s and my mother has passed away, there are new realizations sometimes of things she went through, and I can’t tell her now that I understand and appreciate it, but I hope she knows.

Care

In I Timothy 5:1-15, Paul instructs the younger pastor Timothy in how the church should care for the widows in its number, and he says in verse 4, “But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God.” Jesus called out the Pharisees and scribes for allowing people to give to them what should have gone to care of parents.

Then of course, there are the Biblical “one anothers” that should govern Christians’ interaction with each other. Sometimes, sadly, we neglect those most with those closest to us.

Parents are fallible people. They’re not always on target; sometimes they might be a little out of touch. Sometimes they’re out and out wrong — I came from a non-Christian home and have written before about having to learn to respect my parents out of obedience to God even when they were doing things I couldn’t respect. On the other hand, sometimes teen or adult kids think a parent is a little too free with unsolicited advice when that advice is something they really need to hear. Parents shouldn’t nag and manipulate; kids shouldn’t ignore and disrespect. Sometimes parents do have to pull back and let their children make and learn from their own mistakes, but sometimes a parent’s advice will save a son or daughter from a serious problems and heartache. It’s a delicate balance. But if those involved are seeking the Lord’s best, He will help them find that balance and best way of interacting, and even if only one side is actively seeking to honor Him in their dealings, He will aid them.

The Week In Words

Posted on August 8, 2011 by Barbara Harper

I see this on Janet‘s sidebar:

A wise and frugal Government, which shall restrain men from injuring one another, shall leave them otherwise free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor the bread it has earned. This is the sum of good government. (Thomas Jefferson)

I agree!

Seen at girltalk:

See that your relish for the Bible be above every other enjoyment, and the moment you begin to feel greater relish for any other book, lay it down till you have sought deliverance from such a snare, and obtained from the Holy Spirit an intenser relish, a keener appetite for the Word of God (Jer 15:16). ~ Horatius Bonar

Forgot to note where I saw this — I think on a friend’s Facebook page:

“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” ~ C. S. Lewis

I think if we truly had hold of this truth, that any sin of anyone else’s against us pales next to ours against God, we wouldn’t have any trouble with forgiveness.

I hope you’ll visit some of the other participants as well and glean some great thoughts to ponder. And don’t forget to leave a comment here, even if you don’t have any quotes to share!

The Week In Words Continues…

Posted on August 1, 2011 by Barbara Harper

Thanks you for your encouraging comments and votes on last week’s poll about whether The Week In Words should continue. With the exception of one lone negative vote in the poll, it looks like there is enough interest to keep it going.

I hope I didn’t sound like I was feeling sorry for myself or looking for affirmation (though in all honesty I can’t confess to being always entirely free from that….ahem… 😳 ), but I was thinking that if there were only two or three of us interested in these posts and everyone else was skipping over them, then maybe the time and space might be better used. But I was glad to see that others read them, too. And as someone said, I would probably be posting quotes at some interval anyway, and I enjoy reading quotes you come up with, too — often they are quite convicting, thought-provoking, or entertaining.

I’ve mentioned this before, but if you don’t have a particular post for TWIW but you have a post from the previous week that contained a quote or quotes, please feel free to link that up. There have been times I’ve thought about commenting on someone’s post that “This would be a good entry for TWIW” — but I don’t want to see pushy or self-promotional. So if I ever do say that, please don’t take it that way but rather just see it as a “maybe you hadn’t thought about this, but…” kind of suggestion.

I know some of you like to save quotes from books you’re reading to share when you review or discuss the book. I do that too, except sometimes when I have way too many quotes marked to share in one review. Just occasionally I’ll repeat one here and again in the review if it is particularly striking.

Just as an FYI, my goal is to have TWIW post published Sunday night before I go to bed so it’s here first thing for those who are up early in the morning. But sometimes on Sundays I don’t have much time with the computer so I’m not able to get it up until some time Monday morning.

Okay, now that I’ve used so many of my own words….I am going to post just one quote for you this week. I saw this on Diane‘s Facebook status and loved it:

“When the devil throws our sins up to us and declares we deserve death and hell, we ought to speak thus: ‘I admit that I deserve death and hell. What of it? Does this mean that I shall be sentenced to eternal damnation? By no means. For I know One who suffered and made a satisfaction in my behalf. His name is Jesus Christ, the Son of God. Where he is, there I shall be also.’”~Martin Luther

I know his “What of it?” is not meant to be flippant but rather an answer to the “Accuser of the brethren” that that accusation is already taken care of.

I hope you’ll visit some of the other participants as well and glean some great thoughts to ponder. And don’t forget to leave a comment here, even if you don’t have any quotes to share! 🙂

The Week in Words and a Poll

Posted on July 25, 2011 by Barbara Harper

I only have a couple this week. One I posted earlier in a review of Prince Caspian, but I couldn’t resist posting it again:

“You come of the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve, and that is both honor enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth.”

This one came from an e-mail devotional of Elisabeth Elliot from a chapter titled “A Devious Repentance” in A Lamp For My Feet:

Recently I committed a sin of what seemed to me unpardonable thoughtlessness. For days I wanted to kick myself around the block. What is the matter with me? I thought. How could I have acted so? “Fret not thyself because of evildoers” came to mind. In this case the evildoer was myself, and I was fretting. My fretting, I discovered, was a subtle kind of pride. “I’m really not that sort of person,” I was saying. I did not want to be thought of as that sort of person. I was very sorry for what I had done, not primarily because I had failed someone I loved, but because my reputation would be smudged. When my reputation becomes my chief concern, my repentance has a hollow ring. No wonder Satan is called the deceiver. He has a thousand tricks, and we fall for them.

Lord, I confess my sin of thoughtlessness and my sin of pride. I pray for a more loving and a purer heart, for Jesus’ sake.

I’ve been there. You?

I’ve marked a few more from Beyond Suffering by Layton Talbert, but I think I might save those for when I review the book. It’s hard to wait to post them, though!

Also — I’ve been kind of thinking about discontinuing The Week In Words. I’ve hosted it about a year now, and most weeks there are only two or three of us who participate, though some weeks we have 4 and I think once or twice we’ve had as many was six. (I know some of you have been away lately, but I am thinking of the overall trend: it hasn’t really “taken off.”) But then it’s not really about numbers. Also, I think many people who don’t participate in it skip the post entirely (which is fine — I don’t always read or comment on every post of every blog I read, though I usually at least skim them). I’ve been going back and forth about it in my own mind for a few weeks now, and I decided to ask you what you thought. You can either vote in the poll or leave a comment, or both.

I hope you’ll visit some of the other participants as well and glean some great thoughts to ponder. And don’t forget to leave a comment here, even if you don’t have any quotes to share!