How to Return to Your First Love

Posted on July 16, 2023 by Barbara Harper

Imagine a good friend tells you she’s thinking of leaving her husband. The magic is gone. They don’t love each other any more. They’re just going through the motions.

After listening to your friend, if she’s open, you might suggest several things. As I thought of these, I realized many of them paralleled how we could return to our first love spiritually.

In Revelation 2:1-7, God instructs John to write a letter to the church at Ephesus. They are commended for several things: They’ve worked hard and endured patiently for His name’s sake. They cared for truth and have tested and rooted out false apostles. Those are all good traits. Yet, Jesus said, “I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first.” It’s possible to work hard for the Lord and stand for truth, yet not do so out of love for Him.

Jesus commands them to “Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first.” Otherwise, He warns, He’ll have to remove them.

So how do we return to our first love? We can’t just flip a switch and turn on the right feelings.

Pray. The first step is to ask for help. A marriage on the brink of divorce has a lot of deep issues. Usually by the time a couple gets to that point, they’ve already made up their minds, and it’s extremely hard to turn things around. They’re going to need God’s help.

Spiritually, we start at the same place. We may be confused. “I thought I was doing everything right.” We need wisdom and insight to see how we’ve drifted into serving without love. It’s true, love is not just a feeling. But according to this passage and 1 Corinthians 13, love is not just service, either.

Romans 5:5 tells us “God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” And love is a fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5: 22-23).

Paul prays for love in various churches:

That they might be “rooted and grounded in love” and “may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge” (Ephesians 3:18-19).
That their “love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment” (Philippians 1:9).
That “the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all” (1 Thessalonians 3:12).

We can pray these things for ourselves in our relationships with others and the Lord.

Remember His attributes. You could ask your friend to remember what attracted her to her husband in the first place. Sure, his looks and physique changed over the years (so did hers). But she probably married him because she saw something in his character that she liked.

A few years ago, I read Jen Wilkin’s book on God’s attributes: None Like Him:10 Ways God is Different From Us (and Why That’s a Good Thing) and In His Image: 10 Ways God Calls Us to Reflect His Character (linked to my reviews). I expected that studying God’s attributes would inspire worship, but I was surprised to find that the study also increased my love for God. I shouldn’t have been surprised: the more we meditate on how wonderful He is, of course we’re going to love Him even more.

Remember your past history. When a couple has been together for a while, they accumulate a lot of shared experiences: fun times, the trials they worked through, the inside jokes. They have a history they share with no one else. Remembering those times might draw them closer together.

The apostle John wrote, “We love Him because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19, NKJV). Calling to mind the ways God has shown love to me inspires love for Him.

Looking back over my history with God warms my heart. He set off a series of events to bring me to faith in Himself. He loved me and drew me before I knew Him.

He has blessed me in countless ways ever since. Some years ago, I was inspired to create a list of “Ebenezers.” Samuel once set up for Israel a stone he called an Ebenezer, meaning “a stone of help,” to commemorate what God had done for them. So one year I wrote an extensive list of those special moments in my life when God intervened in a way that could only have come from Him. Remembering answered prayer and times God spoke to my heart from His Word, and so many other evidences of His care in my life, fuels my love for Him.

Psalm 63 gives a vivid picture of such remembrances:

My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,
when I remember you upon my bed,
and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
for you have been my help,
and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy (verses 5-7).

Spend focused time together. Life can settle into routines, and couples end up just passing each other while doing errands, talking only about the mundane affairs of life. We need time to set aside everything and just focus on each other, share our hearts, and listen to each other. That may be a date night or just sitting at the table with coffee.

The same happens with God. As I said last week, routines help establish time with the Lord. But after a while, they can feel just routine, like we’re just working through a list and not connecting. Remembering that I am meeting with my Lord alone helps me refocus.

Forgive. A couple on the brink of divorce has accumulated a lot of hurts and slights. It’s easy to only see the negative. It may take time and counseling to work through all of that, but at some point, they’ll need to learn to forgive each other.

Elisabeth Elliot said once that a wife may like 80% of what her husband says and does, yet focus and harp on the 20% she doesn’t like. Once we get fixated on the negative, it fills our vision til that’s all we can see.

This one is different in our relationship with God. Some people speak of “forgiving God” when He does things we don’t like, but I cringe at such talk. We don’t need to forgive Him. He’s the Holy, pure, all-wise, all-powerful, righteous God of the universe! He does nothing wrong. It’s a little audacious to think of us forgiving Him.

Yet, He does things that confuse us. He may not have answered a heartfelt prayer. He may have allowed a tragedy. We might be hurt, resentful, or even angry. But we’re in trouble if we hold these things against Him. Jesus said, ” Blessed is the one who is not offended by me” (Matthew 11:6).

Thankfully, we have the psalms and prophets as examples of people pouring out their hearts before God, sometimes in confusion and anguish and anger. They remind themselves of what they know to be true about God—that He loves them, that He will take care of them and meet their needs— and they find peace. So we need to remind ourselves of who God is and His right to rule in our lives according to His purposes. And we remind ourselves that He doesn’t bring suffering in our lives capriciously. “For the Lord will not cast off forever, but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love; for he does not afflict from his heart or grieve the children of men” (Lamentations 3:31-33).

Put the other first. When human relationships are on the verge of breaking up, selfishness has likely crept in, probably on both sides. One of my former professors (Dr. Walter Fremont) used to say love is the self-sacrificing desire to meet the need of the cherished object. It’s easy to focus on what we want others to do for us—or what they’re failing to do for us—and overlook our own failings.

God doesn’t “need” anything from us. But there are things He asks of us. We ask Him to bless our plans without considering whether they are His plans. Paul reminds us, “If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth” (Colossians 3:1-2).

I don’t mean to be simplistic about either romantic love or spiritual love. There may be a lot of layers to peel back and issues to work through. People may need help and counsel in either case. But these steps can get us started in the right direction.

What helps you rekindle your love for God?

May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Devotional Time in Different Seasons of Life

Posted on July 9, 2023 by Barbara Harper

Good routines help us establish good habits.

Reading the Bible is not just a good habit to get into: the Bible is our food, our letter from God. But sometimes it takes implementing a good routine to make time to read Scripture.

But then we have another problem: when our routine is upset, our good habits fly away.

My best time to read the Bible and pray is in the morning, before my mind gets cluttered with a thousand other things. Having my devotions, or quiet time, first thing helps set my heart in the right position and fortifies me for the day ahead.

But if I oversleep, have to get up early for an appointment, travel, have company, or get sick, my routine is disrupted. It’s not impossible to come back to a quiet time later in the day, but it’s much harder for me.

I imagine the same is true for you as well, whether your best time is in the morning, or right before bed, or somewhere between.

And then some disruptions occur not just in one day, but in a whole season of life.

What are the difficulties peculiar to each phase of life?

Childhood and teen years. I didn’t grow up in a Bible-reading home and didn’t hear about the importance of reading the Bible until I was around sixteen. I was busy with studies, a part-time job, and responsibilities at home. But my biggest hurdle was just getting a regular routine established. I had to start over many times. Eventually, devotional time became a matter of “want to” rather than “supposed to,” though that struggle pops up again and again.

My second big problem was understanding what I read. I had not grown up in church, and I was a new Christian. It didn’t occur to me to ask someone for help when I came to difficult passages. I just shrugged my shoulders and kept going until I came to something that spoke to my heart. But because most of it was new to me, I got plenty to “feed” on and to grow. I wasn’t aware of study Bibles then which contained explanatory notes, but that would have helped.

Early adult years. College was one of my busiest times of life. I was always an eager student, but college life was harder and more time-consuming than I expected.

In a Christian college, it’s easy to just ride on the spiritual atmosphere. We had chapel most days, prayer groups and devotions in the dorms, Bible reading and prayer at the beginning of most classes, and Bible classes themselves. Those are all beneficial, but none of them is the same as meeting with the Lord alone in a personal way.

Even if one does not attend college, life as a new adult has challenges. Working a full-time job is an adjustment. All the responsibilities of adulthood, like cooking, cleaning, grocery-shopping, are now on your shoulders. You may scramble to get going in the morning, spend time with friends or take care of responsibilities after work, and then fall into bed at night.

Then when you get married, you have all of that plus the adjustments of getting used to living with another person. Though marriage has lovely moments, there are small irritations with someone else’s routines conflicting with yours.

However, this period of time was actually the easiest for me in regard to devotional routine. Life was certainly busy. But college life was very structured and scheduled. It was easy to schedule the time to spend with the Lord. And with dorm roommates or early marriage, some discussion and flexibility helped work around each other.

Parenthood. This stage of life was hardest for me to maintain a quiet time, especially after my second child was born. Schedules evaporated. What I called the zombie weeks of disrupted sleep and nighttime feeding made me groggy. During the baby’s nap time, I had to choose between cleaning, sleeping, or reading my Bible. Usually sleep won out.

Then during the second child’s nap times, I had a preschooler who needed attention.

Getting up early—if I even could—would often result in the kids waking up, too.

I listened to Christian radio more then, but like chapel services and Bible classes, that didn’t take the place of one-on-one time with the Lord.

Don’t get me wrong–I loved my children and enjoyed them. But having solitude and quiet time was hard these years. I’d get to the end of the day and pray tearfully, “Lord, I don’t know when I could have had time with you today.”

It finally occurred to me to ask Him at the beginning of the day to help me be alert to opportunities to read for a bit. I couldn’t have a big, sit-down meal spiritually. But I could snack throughout the day. I wrote more about this in Encouragement for Mothers of Young Children.

The Taxi Years. That’s what I called the era when it seemed like we spent more time in the car than anywhere else, driving the kids to school, piano lessons, sports practices, friend’s houses, church events. I had quiet time at home during the day, but I also had to run errands, clean, and grocery shop. And at this time I was also the most active volunteering for church and school.

When we homeschooled for four years, solitude during the day was at a premium. We always had a quiet time in the afternoons when everyone was expected to read quietly or do something in their rooms, if they were too old for naps. That was my devotional time if I hadn’t had it earlier.

Empty Nest and Senior years. You’d think this stage of life would be the greatest time for Bible reading and prayer. And in some ways it is. But new challenges arrive in the form of physical issues or sleep problems. When one spouse retires and is suddenly home all day, the other’s routine needs adjusting. Often one parent or the other requires extra help, if not full time caregiving. Adult children have needs we like to be able to help with.

Illness. At any stage of life, an unexpected accident or illness can disrupt life for weeks, months, or even years. Some may think that extra time resting would allow for even more prayer or Bible reading time. But you’ve probably experienced being fuzzy-headed when you have a bad cold for a few days. Imagine that feeling over the course of a long-term illness. Amy Carmichael wrote in Rose from Brier, after being an invalid for a few years:

I have not found myself that illness makes prayer easier, nor do any of our family who have been ill tell me that they have found it so. Prayerfulness does not seem to be a flower of the spirit that grows of itself. When we are well perhaps we rather take it for granted that it does, as though what is sometimes called a “sick-bed” offered natural soil for that precious flower. I do not think that it does. A bed can be a place of dullness of spirit as well as of body, and prayer is, after all, work—the most strenuous work in all the world. And yet it is our only way of joining the fighting force. . . So what can we do about it? (p. 199).

One night, in severe pain, when she could “no more gather myself up to pray than I could turn in bed without . . .help,” she came to Psalm 109:21: “But do thou for me, O GOD the Lord.”

And soon the prayer passed into the most restful kind of intercession, the only kind the ill can attain unto, for they cannot pray in detail and they may know little or nothing about the needs of their dearest. But He knows all, down to the smallest wish of the heart. So we do not need to coin our gold in words, we could not if we tried: we are far too tired for that, and He who knows our frame does not ask us to do anything so arduous. Do Thou for her, do Thou for him, do Thou for them, O God the Lord (p. 200).

In any stage, the first necessity is to make time with the Lord a priority. Other duties and distractions will always pull us.

In my early married years, our senior pastor was an older man and our associate pastor was perhaps in his early thirties. They were discussing with someone else the struggles to keep a consistent quiet time. The younger man looked to the older pastor and said, “I’m sure this isn’t a problem for you.” Surely a dedicated man of God who had walked with Him for decades didn’t have to wrestle with time or interruptions or his own flesh to make time to spend with God.

The older man just laughed. Of course he still struggled. As long as we have an old nature pulling against our best intentions and an active enemy trying to trip us up, we’ll struggle.

But we remind ourselves that time in the Bible in prayer is not just one more thing to do. We greatly need to fellowship with our Father, to draw grace and help and strength from Him.

The second necessity is flexibility. I don’t like a rigid schedule, but I like a certain amount of structure and predictability to my days. When interruptions or distractions come, I need to look for other ways and times to meet with the Lord. Sometimes that means setting aside other reading or pleasurable activities. I admit I don’t always feel like switching gears if I sit down to read or watch something or scroll through my phone and I remember I haven’t met with the Lord that day. But when I set aside what I was doing to spend time with Him, I am always blessed.

The third thing we need to do: rely on God’s grace. God isn’t going to zap us with a bad day for punishment if we miss meeting with Him. The Bible doesn’t tell us to read a certain amount of time or verses every day. But it does tell us to meditate on God’s Word day and night. This is one area where previous memorization comes in handy.

Some days or seasons of life are busier or more exhausting than others. A. W. Tozer said, “We must not select a few favorite passages to the exclusion of others. Nothing less than a whole Bible can make a whole Christian.” We need times to dig deep and soak long in God’s truth. If we only read a verse a day or stayed in the Psalms over the course of a lifetime, we’d be pretty weak. But during busy or exhausting days or seasons of life, when we can truly only read a verse or two, God will feed us.

Have you had to change your devotional routine in different stages of life? What helped you?

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable. @ Timothy 3:16

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Do You Want to Be Free?

Posted on July 2, 2023 by Barbara Harper

I did not start going to church regularly until my mid-teens. It seems like we sang a lot of songs then about being free from sin.

One our youth choir sang was called “Set Me Free.” That’s the only place I ever heard this particular song. I haven’t been able to remember enough of the words to look it up.

One we sang often in my early married years was “Free From the Law.”

Then there was, “Power in the Blood“:

Would you be free from the burden of sin?
There’s pow’r in the blood, pow’r in the blood;
Would you o’er evil a victory win?
There’s wonderful pow’r in the blood.

Would you be free from your passion and pride?
There’s pow’r in the blood, pow’r in the blood;
Come for a cleansing to Calvary’s tide–
There’s wonderful pow’r in the blood.

There is pow’r, pow’r, wonder-working pow’r
In the blood of the Lamb;
There is pow’r, pow’r, wonder-working pow’r
In the precious blood of the Lamb.
– Lewis E. Jones

And “I Will Sing the Wondrous Story“:

I was bruised, but Jesus healed me;
Faint was I from many a fall;
Sight was gone, and fears possessed me,
But He freed me from them all.
– Francis H. Rowley

There are a couple I haven’t heard in church, like “For Freedom, Christ Has Set Us Free” and “Glorious Freedom.”

It occurred to me that I don’t hear these kinds of songs, or the theme of freedom from sin in Christ, much any more.

Jesus once said “if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:36). I wonder if the world doesn’t appreciate the impact of that statement because they don’t understand that they’re not free.

They think they are.

2 Peter warns of false prophets and teachers who use false words to entice people. They appeal to greed and lust to deceive. “They promise them freedom, but they themselves are slaves of corruption. For whatever overcomes a person, to that he is enslaved” (verse 19).

Their chains are so pleasurable, they don’t realize they are bound. They’re so comfortable and having such fun, they don’t want to be free.

But the pleasures of sin, Hebrews 11:25 says, are only for a short season.

Jesus also said that He is the light of the world. We need to pray that He will shine in people’s hearts and show them their need of Him and His love for them.

Jesus said He is the bread of life. He invites, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink” (John 7:37). We need to pray God would create in hearts hunger and thirst for Him greater than what the world has to offer.

And we need to tell them about Him. May they find that “the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death” (Romans 8:2).

The whole world was lost in the darkness of sin,
The Light of the world is Jesus!
Like sunshine at noonday, His glory shone in;
The Light of the world is Jesus!

No darkness have we who in Jesus abide;
The Light of the world is Jesus!
We walk in the light when we follow our Guide!
The Light of the world is Jesus!

Ye dwellers in darkness with sin-blinded eyes,
The Light of the world is Jesus!
Go, wash at His bidding, and light will arise;
The Light of the world is Jesus!

Come to the light, ’tis shining for thee;
Sweetly the light has dawned upon me;
Once I was blind, but now I can see:
The Light of the world is Jesus!
– P. P. Bliss

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

A Steady Soul

Posted on June 25, 2023 by Barbara Harper

One September morning almost twenty-eight years ago, my left hand started feeling a little funny, like I’d slept on it wrong. I shook and flexed it while I continued packing my husband’s lunch for the day.

After a while, I realized that numbish feeling was spreading up my arm.

Then it started in both feet, spreading upward.

Within three hours, my left arm, both legs, and my lower torso were numb. I couldn’t walk on my own. I developed a laundry list of other symptoms.

After multitudes of tests and blood draws over eight days in the hospital, I was diagnosed with transverse myelitis.

Transverse Myelitis occurs when a virus hits the spine, triggering an autoimmune response which causes the body to attack the myelin sheath around the nerves as well as the virus. Symptoms vary depending on where along the spine the attack occurred. If the lower spine is affected, one might experience numbness and tingling. An attack high on the spine, however, could result in losing the ability to breathe, requiring a ventilator.

My spine was affected in the thoracic region. With much prayer and months of physical therapy, I progressed from a wheelchair to a walker to a cane to wobbly steps on my own.

I still have numb areas and odd sensations. But my biggest problem is balance.

I can walk in a straight line on level ground without problems most days. But uneven ground, slopes, and stairs are a challenge.

Sometimes people will offer me an arm for support, which helps. But what helps the most is a handrail, something solid and unmovable.

Oddly, though, I have the most trouble with balance when standing still.

Proprioreception has to do with knowing where your body is in space. Some people might not know where their hands and feet are without looking at them. I don’t have that problem, but if I stand still for more than a few minutes I lose balance. Usually I’ll inch towards a chair or wall to touch as a reference point to reset my bearings.

I told you all of that to tell you this:

A few years ago when I read 2 Peter 2 in a new-to-me translation, the word “unsteady” jumped out at me because I well knew what being unsteady felt like.

Peter talks in this chapter about those with unsteady souls. Other translations say unstable, unestablished, unsettled. These souls are easily enticed by false teachers (verse 14).

How do false teachers entice these souls? 1 Peter speaks of the false prophets’ sensuality, lust, greed, passion, so they “entice by sensual passions” (verse 18). James 1:14 uses the same Greek word for “entice,” which carries the idea of baiting, alluring, deceiving, when it says, “But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.” They “despise authority” (verse 10). “They promise them freedom, but they themselves are slaves of corruption” (verse 19). They “exploit you with false words” (verse 3). They’re blasphemous (verses 10-13).

Probably many of the people who fall away to false teachers are not saved in the first place, but weak or new believers are susceptible as well. A true Christian can’t lose his or her salvation, but a believer can get tangled in false doctrines to their own confusion as well as that of everyone in their sphere of influence. But even those of us who think we’re strong need to “take heed lest we fall.” (1 Corinthians 10:12).

How can we make sure we’re not unsteady or unstable spiritually?

By orienting ourselves with the solid, unchanging Word of God.

Rest on the Bible’s sure foundation. Earlier in his letter, Peter told his readers that God’s Word was more sure than even his experience watching Jesus’ transfiguration (2 Peter 1:16-19, KJV).

Know that Scripture comes from God. Peter assured that that “no prophecy of Scripture comes from someone’s own interpretation. For no prophecy was ever produced by the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit” (2 Peter 1:20-21).

Know God Through His Word. Peter said “His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence,” which we learn about from “His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world on account of lust.” (1:3-4, NASB). Everything pertaining to life and godliness! The first time this verse impacted me, I was nearly bowled over. There may be many things we don’t comprehend about God, but He’s given us everything we need to live for Him through knowing Him through His Word.

Don’t twist the Scriptures as the unstable do. “There are some things in them that are hard to understand, which the ignorant and unstable twist to their own destruction, as they do the other Scriptures” (2 Peter 3:15-16). The unsteady twist (wrest in the KJV) the very thing which could stabilize them. We read it in context so we understand its meaning. We don’t wrangle it to make it say what we want it to say. We don’t adjust it to us: we adjust ourselves to it.

Be watchful. “Take care that you are not carried away with the error of lawless people and lose your own stability (2 Peter 3:17).

Keep growing “in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” (3:18).

Listen to sound teaching. Contrast the characteristics Peter lists of false teachers in 2 Peter to what he says about godly shepherds in 1 Peter 5. Paul tells Timothy in 2 Timothy 4: “preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths.” We seek to feed our souls His truth rather than feeding our own desires.

Jesus said the one who hears his words and does them is like a man who built his house on a rock which was unshaken by winds and flood waters.

So we watch ourselves, that we’re not being led away of wrong desires. We read and listen to God’s Word as it’s written, in context, not trying to twist it. We listen to pastors and teachers who faithfully proclaim God’s Word. We we obey it. We get to know our Savior better and better and remind ourselves of His truth. and we keep growing spiritually. Doing all of these things might bring persecution, which Peter discusses often in both of his letters. But we can trust God to keep us and deliver us. Then we can say, “My steps have held to Your paths; my feet have not slipped” (Psalm 17:5).

Keep steady my steps according to your promise,
and let no iniquity get dominion over me (Psalm 119:133).

Revised from the archives.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Fathers and Children

Posted on June 18, 2023 by Barbara Harper

Fathers have a tremendous impact on their children, for good or bad. We need God’s grace to overcome the effects of a bad father and not lose the benefits of a good father.

In Keep a Quiet Heart, Elisabeth Elliot shared an excerpt from a book titled Fathers and Sons written by Phillip Howard, her grandfather:

Do you remember that encouraging word of Thomas Fuller’s, a chaplain of Oliver Cromwell’s time? It’s a good passage for a father in all humility and gratitude to tuck away in his memory treasures:

“’Lord, I find the genealogy of my Savior strangely checkered with four remarkable changes in four immediate generations.

Rehoboam begat Abijah; that is, a bad father begat a bad son.
Abijah begat Asa; that is, a bad father begat a good son.
Asa begat Jehoshaphat; that is, a good father begat a good son.
Jehoshaphat begat Joram; that is, a good father begat a bad son.

I see, Lord, from hence that my father’s piety cannot be entailed; that is bad news for me. But I see also that actual impiety is not always hereditary; that is good news for my son.”

We’re not doomed by a bad father. We may have to overcome what we learned from him. We may have long-lasting wounds of spirit by how he treated us. But we don’t have to follow in his footsteps. When we turn from our own way in repentance and faith and follow Christ, we have a new, perfect, kind Father. The better we know Him, the more He changes us to be more like Himself. What we missed in our earthly father we can find in our heavenly one.

He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God (John 1:11-12).

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God (1 John 3:1).

Similarly, we’re not saved by a good father. His teaching may help us on the road of life. His example may be the highest we have to follow. His love and care may settle deep in our hearts and give us needed security and confidence. But his faith is not automatically passed down to us. We each have to choose to believe in, follow, and obey God personally. Our earthly father can’t be to us everything our heavenly Father is, but he can point us to Him.

And you, Solomon my son, know the God of your father and serve him with a whole heart and with a willing mind, for the LORD searches all hearts and understands every plan and thought. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will cast you off forever (1 Chronicles 28:9).

The LORD is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation; this is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exalt him. (Exodus 15:2).

Of course, most fathers are a mixture of good and bad. They’ll have some habits we want to emulate and others we want to avoid.

It’s natural for children to want to forge their own paths, make their own decisions, follow their own way as they mature. We become independent of our earthly fathers. But we should become ever more dependent on our heavenly Father. He can take us farther than our earthly father can.

There’s no greater example of parenthood than our heavenly Father. As we spend time with Him and behold Him, we become more like Him.

Fatherlike He tends and spares us;
Well our feeble frame He Knows.
In His hands He gently bears us,
Rescues us from all our foes.
Alleluia!
Alleluia!
Widely yet His mercy flows!

Henry Lyte, “Praise My Soul, the King of Heaven”

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Why Doesn’t God Make Everything Clear?

Posted on June 11, 2023 by Barbara Harper

I suppose people could disagree over almost every point in the Bible. But by and large, most Christians agree that much in the Bible is clear: the way of salvation, who Jesus is, how a person can know God, and so much more. All the most essential, non-negotiable doctrine is clear to those who seek the Holy Spirit’s guidance as they read and who don’t twist the Scriptures..

But there are issues good people have been arguing about for centuries. I fear many Christians have spent much more time causing division over these issues than they have sharing the truth they know and ministering to others.

Have you ever wondered why God doesn’t make some things more clear? So much energy and time and angst could have been saved if God had spelled some things out.

I don’t know, but just speculating, I came up with a few thoughts.

Our hearts. If you’ve ever tried to give rules to your children, you’ve probably found one who can find any loophole. We used to say that one of ours could be a lawyer, he was so skilled at this.

Even when you think the standards are pretty clear, some are going to question and push the limits.

During car trips, our kids got bored and started bugging each other. After several rounds of correction, we finally said, “Just don’t touch each other.” Then we heard cries and wails again. I turned around to see one brother holding his finger an inch away as if he was going to poke the other one. When confronted, he looked up innocently and said, “I’m not touching him.”

Even though he was obeying what we said, his heart wasn’t following what we meant.

I think God does not just want us to follow rules blindly, but He wants our hearts.

Do we prefer a list of rules, or are we going to seek to know our Father well enough to become more like Him in character?

Our consciences are at different levels of maturity. In New Testament times, Christians differed over whether it was all right to eat meat that had been offered to idols and then sold in the marketplace. Some felt the meat was tainted by its association with idols. Others felt meat was meat, idols were nothing, so eating the meat was no problem.

Paul told these saints, “I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil. . . . Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he eats. It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble” (Romans 14:14-16, 20-21).

The meat is not unclean, Paul said. But if some people think it is, don’t offend their conscience by eating it in front of them.

We knew a pastor’s wife who felt she shouldn’t wear earrings. Her husband didn’t have a problem with earrings, but allowed her to follow what she felt was God’s leading. When the “Iron Curtain” came down in Eastern Europe, this couple were among the first Christians who traveled to help, hand out Bibles, and minister in whatever way they could.

They found the Christians they encountered had strong opinions about women wearing jewelry and makeup: they thought such things were worldly. Because this woman had already voluntarily cut down on such things, she had an inroad with them.

Did these believers need to learn not to judge others for wearing jewelry and make-up? Yes. But they had many other needs that had to be attended to first. They had not had access to Bibles and regular church gatherings. Those kinds of issues would come with time, teaching, and maturity. It would not have been right to fuss over them right off the bat.

Study and prayer. When the Bible does not state something clearly, we’re disposed to dig in and study it all the more. We shouldn’t join this camp or the other just because one appeals to us. I mentioned before Romans 14:5b: “Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind.” As best we can, we need to search the Scriptures and ask God’s guidance and wisdom.

Grace. Are we going to beat everyone over the heads with our views of Bible versions, end times, modesty, standards? Or are we going to extend grace to those who differ?

I was quite grieved during the pandemic and the last couple of national elections to see how Christians treated each other’s differences. Christians have always had differences and have always needed admonishment to disagree gracefully, which is why these topics take up so much space in the epistles. But social media has taken such bickering to new lows.

I used to think that if we’re all filled with the same Holy Spirit, we should all come to the same conclusions about everything. But that’s not what the Bible says. Instead, it tells us to remember that each of us is God’s child, His image bearer, and should be treated accordingly. We should do everything we do as unto the Lord. In Romans 14, those who ate meat and celebrated certain days did so unto the Lord—and those who did not acted as unto the Lord, even though they were on the opposite sides of these issues. Both were living as unto the Lord, even though they differed on how to do so. Romans 14 also tells us not to despise or judge each other, to be fully persuaded in our own minds, not to cause others to stumble, to “pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding” (verse 19).

1 Corinthians discusses some of these same issues. Chapter 6:12 says, “’All things are lawful for me,’ but not all things are helpful. ‘All things are lawful for me,’ but I will not be dominated by anything.” Chapter 10, verses 23-24 add, “’All things are lawful,’ but not all things are helpful. ‘All things are lawful,’ but not all things build up. Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.” So some things may be strictly permissible, yet I should not do them if they dominate me, aren’t helpful, and don’t build up. I need to think about not just my good, but my neighbors’.

Seek God’s glory. After discussing several issues where Christians differed, Paul said, “May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Romans 15:5-6). We need to look for and choose the path that most glorifies God, not the easiest or the most familiar.

If God does not spell some of these issues out, how do we know what to do? “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence” (2 Peter 1:3). The next verse says “he has granted to us his precious and very great promises.” We seek Him and His Word with a sincere heart. When there is not clear chapter and verse on an issue, some of these principles we’ve discussed will guide our attitudes and actions.

Conversations with others, especially more mature Christians, can shed light. But we shouldn’t descend into bickering.

Rupertus Meldenius had it right when he said, “In essentials unity, in non-essentials liberty, in all things charity.”

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Unseen Hurts

Posted on June 4, 2023 by Barbara Harper

Though many illnesses and injuries are unseen, we often have a clue when someone is hurt physically. A big bandage or cast. Crutches. A cane. Paleness. Lack of their usual vigor or energy.

But when someone is wounded in spirit, we often can’t tell. Some are quite vocal about what’s going on in their hearts, but others are not.

And even if we are aware that someone is in spiritual, emotional, or mental pain, we forget that it takes time to heal, just like a physical wound does.

These thoughts led me to some other parallels between wounds of the flesh and spirit.

Cleansing. One of the first things we do with a physical wound is clean it out. If someone’s leg was gashed open by an animal or branch, stitching the tear without cleaning is an invitation for infection to set in. Disinfecting can be more painful than the original wound, but it saves pain in the long run.

When we’re wounded in spirit, it’s easy for infection to set in as well in the form of hatred, revenge, bitterness, or unforgiveness. Though everything in us might want to lash out, we need to apply God’s truth to our situation. Holding onto those negative reactions will only cause us more pain. We can look to our Savior, who, “When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:23).

Medicate. The next step in treating an open wound is to apply an antibiotic and pain reliever to kill germs and aid healing.

We can aid our spiritual healing by soaking ourselves in God’s Word. We can pour out our hearts with the psalmists, who experienced multitudes of inner pain: betrayal, friends turned to enemies, loneliness, guilt, and so much more. Through their anguish, they reminded themselves of God’s loving care and restored their peace.

Protect. A wound needs to be protected from dirt and germs, but also from being bumped. I broke and dislocated my little toe several years ago. Not only was it gently taped, but I had a big medical “boot” to support and protect it. Even with that protection, though, I walked slowly and gave doorways and corners a wide berth the first couple of weeks.

When people’s hearts are wounded, we often forget this step. We encourage them to forgive and trust God, but we forget that they need to be protected. Sometimes people in the church concentrate on restoration of the offender, which they should—but they need to help the wounded heal and protect them as well.

Time. It takes time to heal. There’s just no way to get around it or hurry it. God made our bodies marvelous in their ability to recover. But the process is not instant. While a person heals, they usually need extra rest and a cessation of some of their usual activities.

We forget that emotional and spiritual wounds take time to heal, too. Scripture is absolutely essential to healing, but we don’t apply it like a Band-aid and expect instant results.

So far I’ve been thinking in terms of wounds inflicted by others. But even grief from the loss of a loved one will require rest time and often a lightening of activities, depending on the individual. For more than a year after my mother passed away, I couldn’t endure loud, frothy gatherings. It’s not that I was morose and never laughed. My aunt said something that made us all laugh during my mother’s viewing before guests came, and that helped so much. I didn’t closet myself away from others. But I didn’t go to as many gatherings as I might have otherwise. I remember almost wishing we still had formal seasons of mourning, so “normal” activity would not be expected.

Negative responses. A wounded animal will often snarl and nip at the hand trying to help it, not understanding the intention. Illness isn’t an excuse to blow up at others, but when we’re wounded physically, we might find ourselves struggling to respond patiently to others. I tend to get weepy if I am sick or in pain for very long.

Wounded hearts may also struggle in their responses. They may not understand their need for help. They may not be able to sort out the emotional or mental issues and just think they’re having spiritual problems and need to “get right.” Or they may sense they need help, but others, like Job’s friends, treat their needs as spiritual problems to be fixed rather than emotional wounds which need healing.

Help. When we’re physically hurt, we need help from others. Sometimes we need the aid of a crutch or wheelchair for a while. Sometimes we need others to help us get around, bathe, go to the doctor. I’ve been abundantly blessed when ill by people who provided meals, watched my children, took them to the park for an outing, or cleaned my bathroom floors.

We need help from others when we’re wounded inwardly as well. We may just need someone to listen, cry with us, pray with us. Or we may need professional counseling. There’s no shame in needing help to cope. We should be available and willing to support each other.

Scars. Sometimes physical wounds leave a scar. Some say their healed broken bones ache when bad weather is coming. Some illnesses, like a heart attack or stroke, leave changes in our ability to function even when the original illness has been treated and healed. Nerves that have been affected may cause numbing or shooting pain or odd sensations.

Inward wounds can leave lasting results as well. Some areas of our hearts may remain a sensitive.

Post-traumatic stress. I read the account of a woman who had been hit by a bus while crossing a street. She said even a year later, some traffic situations caused anxiety. After I recovered from transverse myelitis, loud, busy places would set my nerves on edge. Since my illness started with my left hand feeling numb, like I had slept on it wrong, that feeling in any part of my body would cause panic. It’s not so much of a problem now, twenty-eight years later: I know those weird sensations come and go and don’t mean another attack is imminent.

Those with wounded spirits experience triggers as well. A woman who has been attacked may shy away from dark lonely places and may panic at feeling pinned down. Someone who has suffered a home invasion may start at any weird noise.

Some post-traumatic responses may fade over time. Some may not.

Results. Suffering a wound or illness can make us more compassionate to other wounded people. Some who have suffered at the hands of others have championed causes to help battle the offense, like Mothers Against Drunk Driving.

Suffering spiritually or emotionally can help us be more compassionate as well, more sensitive to those in need. The “God of all comfort . . . comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (2 Corinthians 1:3b-4).

Grace. Whatever God has allowed to happen to us, inwardly or outwardly, He doesn’t leave us alone to flounder. Many people who undergo trials will say that while they would never have chosen them, they’d never want to trade what God taught them during that time or the closeness they felt to Him.

We need His grace not only to heal, to get through the inconveniences and irritations of treatments and recuperation, but also for the aftermath as well. Some illnesses leave us a “new normal” or with new limitations. But He wants us to depend on Him. God’s grace is sufficient for all. “God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work) (2 Corinthians 9:8). He promises His strength in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

This is a larger topic than one blog post can cover. A few weeks ago I wrote about ways to heal from past hurts. There are many reasons God allows suffering and many aspects of healing and ministering to each other.

But we can seek God’s grace to be tender, patient, kind, and sensitive to each other’s needs. We can ask His wisdom for the best way to help and to point others to the One who “heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3).

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Storms and Rainbows

Posted on May 28, 2023 by Barbara Harper

Rainbows in the sky seem almost magical. Even though science can explain the presence of rainbows, God is the one who created the science and the elements that make up a rainbow. So rainbows still inspire awe and wonder and delight.

The first time we see a rainbow in Scripture is in Genesis 9, just after the great flood has dissipated and Noah and his family come out of the ark to live again on dry land.

God shares with Noah the details of His covenant with him in Genesis 9:1-17. God says the sign of His covenant is the rainbow, which will be a reminder that “the waters shall never again become a flood to destroy all flesh” (verse 15).

I never thought about it before, but I imagine after such a harrowing experience as the flood, perhaps Noah and his family wondered if it could happen again. They might be nervous about coming out of the ark and starting over. Before the flood, the land had been watered by a mist. Afterward, Noah’s family might have been terrified the next time they felt raindrops. But God reassures them and millions of subsequent readers that God will never again cause a worldwide flood.

This doesn’t mean that God won’t judge sin any more. He will. But not in that way.

God has to judge sin, for a number of reasons. But He prefers that people turn from their sin rather than face judgment. He told Ezekiel to tell Israel, “Say to them, As I live, declares the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live; turn back, turn back from your evil ways, for why will you die, O house of Israel?” (Ezekiel 33:11).

The rainbow reminds us of God’s mercy, of the new start He offers.

The next time we see a rainbow in the Bible is in Ezekiel 1, where Ezekiel records “a stormy wind came out of the north, and a great cloud, with brightness around it, and fire flashing forth continually, and in the midst of the fire, as it were gleaming metal” (verse 4). Out of the storm cloud came fantastic creatures like those never seen on earth before or since. He sees them darting around amidst the lightning.

Then Ezekiel sees something he doesn’t quite have the words to describe. Eight times Ezekiel uses the word “appearance.” He keeps saying “like” and “likeness.” “It was something like this”: “The likeness of a throne, in appearance like sapphire; and seated above the likeness of a throne was a likeness with a human appearance. And upward from what had the appearance of his waist I saw as it were gleaming metal, like the appearance of fire enclosed all around. And downward from what had the appearance of his waist I saw as it were the appearance of fire, and there was brightness around him” (verses 26-27). Ezekiel says a few verses later this was “the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the Lord.”

And above this bright creature on a throne Ezekiel sees “the appearance of the bow that is in the cloud on the day of rain” (verse 28).

Noah saw a rainbow after the worst storm of his life. Ezekiel saw a rainbow during a storm, after which God gave him a commission to warn His erring children to turn from their ways and come back to Him.

It’s amazing that a rainbow is around God’s throne as well as in the sky after rain. It’s like God put a little piece of His throne in the heavens to remind us of His beauty, majesty, and glory.

But the rainbow also reminds us of God’s grace, mercy, and faithfulness.

We see the rainbow a third time in Revelation 4, when John sees a vision of God’s throne. Like Ezekiel, John speaks in terms of appearances and likenesses. “Behold, a throne stood in heaven, with one seated on the throne. And he who sat there had the appearance of jasper and carnelian, and around the throne was a rainbow that had the appearance of an emerald.” “From the throne came flashes of lightning, and rumblings and peals of thunder” (verses 3-5). A storm is brewing. Just a couple of chapters later, the seals of God’s judgment open up upon the earth.

In Be Worshipful (Psalms 1-89): Glorifying God for Who He Is, Warren W. Wiersbe says at the end of Psalm 29:

After the thunder, lightning, wind, and rain comes the calm after the storm when “the LORD blesses his people with peace” (v. 11 NIV; and see 107: 29). Noah saw the rainbow of the covenant after the storm (Gen. 9: 8–17), the apostle John saw it before the storm (Rev. 4: 3), and Ezekiel saw the rainbow in the midst of the storm (Ezek. 1: 26–28). We always have God’s promise to encourage us (p. 116, emphasis mine).

Before the storm, in the midst of the storm, after the storm—in every situation we have the reminder that God’s heart is for restoration, that He blesses His people with peace.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

(Thanks to Dr. Wiersbe for setting in motion the thoughts for this post.)

When It’s Good to Be Dependent

Posted on May 21, 2023 by Barbara Harper

As parents, we ultimately work ourselves out of a job. As much as we love our children and miss them when they leave home, we want them to be able to stand on their own two feet as responsible adults. We’ll always listen, support, and help them when they need it, if we’re able. But there is every likelihood we’ll be gone before they are, so they need to function independently.

Spiritually, though, we never outgrow our dependence on God. In fact, we mature more spiritually the more we realize our need for dependence on God.

In Psalm 30, David said, “As for me, I said in my prosperity, “I shall never be moved.” By your favor, O Lord, you made my mountain stand strong; you hid your face; I was dismayed” (verses 6-7). Warren Wiersbe says “prosperity” here means “careless ease, a carefree self-assurance because things are going well” (Be Worshipful [Psalms 1-89]: Glorifying God for Who He Is, p. 116).

That happens all too easily, doesn’t it? When things are going well, we forget God is the One who made them go well. We get comfortable, and we forget our need for God . . . until a crisis comes up. The Bible is replete with examples of individuals and nations who went through that pattern.

My friend J. D. Wininger is a rancher who wrote recently about depending on God through unpredictable weather. His area faced eighteen months of drought last year. Now they’ve had so much rain, he can’t harvest some crops or plant others. I’ve often thought that the life of a farmer or rancher is one of felt dependence on God through all the things that can happen to influence the outcome of crops and herds.

But people in other occupations are just as dependent, even if they don’t know it. Employees think everything is going fine, until they receive notice that their particular job has been phased out, or their company is closing or has been bought by someone else. A new technology can put a whole industry out of business.

As the recent pandemic showed us, one part of society affects another. Suddenly we couldn’t count on finding basic supplies at the grocery store or even a bed in the hospital when needed.

And it’s not just in the area of physical provision that the rug can be pulled out from under us. We can be on top of the world socially. Then a poorly-worded tweet gets us “canceled.” Or a rumor or misunderstanding turns friends against us. David wrote, “All who hate me whisper together about me; they imagine the worst for me . . . Even my close friend in whom I trusted, who ate my bread, has lifted his heel against me” (Psalm 41:7, 9). Job lamented, “My relatives have failed me, my close friends have forgotten me. . . All my intimate friends abhor me, and those whom I loved have turned against me” (Job 19:14, 19).

Many of us have had the experience of being in perfect health one day only to be hit with a debilitating illness out of the blue. Or a loved one who seemed fine is found to have cancer that has been growing for months.

Does God shake things up for us sometimes as a thump on the head to remind us that we need Him? I don’t think so. He’s a loving father, not a capricious one.

We live in a fallen world and have an active enemy. God allows suffering for many reasons.

But I think He does teach us through His Word and through life experiences to remember to depend on Him for everything. He reminds us that He is our creator, provider, protector, friend. He promises to meet all our needs. He promises to be with us in any trial.

When we forget any of those things and become self-reliant, we usually get ourselves into trouble. I did a study once on what happens when we want our own way. It’s not pleasant.

Recently I was praying over a recurrent physical issue. As pondering and prayer intermingled, my thoughts ran something like this; “You know, most people don’t even think about this, much less pray about it. Am I going to have to pray about this every day? Can’t I just ask You to take care of it now and forever?”

The “Lord’s prayer” came to mind, where Jesus instructed His disciples to pray, “Give us this day our daily bread.” Our daily bread. Not enough for the week, or a lifetime. But just what we need for today.

One day King Asa of Judah faced a much larger army from Ethiopia that had come against Judah (2 Chronicles 14). “And Asa cried to the Lord his God, ‘O Lord, there is none like you to help, between the mighty and the weak. Help us, O Lord our God, for we rely on you, and in your name we have come against this multitude. O Lord, you are our God; let not man prevail against you’” (verse 11).

I looked up the Hebrew word translated “rely” and read some of those occurrences here. The word can also be translated, lean, stay, and rest.

Rest.

Isn’t that what happens when we rely on God? We don’t have to worry about what’s going to happen. We can trust and obey.

Jean Sophia Pigott caught this idea of resting in the Lord in her marvelous hymn, “Jesus, I am Resting, Resting.”

Simply trusting thee, Lord Jesus,
I behold thee as thou art,
And thy love, so pure, so changeless,
Satisfies my heart;
Satisfies its deepest longings,
Meets, supplies its ev’ry need,
Compasseth me round with blessings:
Thine is love indeed.

As God’s child, I never outgrow my need for Him. I never become independent from Him. The farther I go in life, the more I realize I need Him for everything, great and small.

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. (John 15:4-5).

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Is Being a Mother Worth It?

Posted on May 14, 2023 by Barbara Harper

I waited with my youngest infant son in the doctor’s examining room for a well baby check-up. It took the doctor an interminable time to come. Meanwhile, baby had a leaky diaper that necessitated cleaning him and the examining table. Then baby spit up all over his clean clothes and his mom..

And I thought wryly about “the nobility of motherhood.”

Mothering is filled with highs and lows. There is nothing like snuggling with a baby wrapped in a hoodie towel fresh from his shower, the smell of baby shampoo wafting from his hair. Or receiving your first gift of a wildflower plucked with chubby toddler fingers especially for you. Or “book gluttony” after a library visit. Or laughs and tickles and playgrounds when they are young to games and talks and insights when they are older.

But there are also continual struggles with never-ending laundry, picking up toys, feeling like there is not enough time and energy to go around, not to mention blow-out diapers, meltdowns, trying to teach manners, arguing over why eating candy before dinner is not a good idea and why “everybody else is doing it” is not a good reason.

Some women focus more on the bad than the good, as one woman did when she wrote that she regretted having children. So now she advises other women not to have them. She feels motherhood keeps women “out of the work force, trapping them in a prison of domesticity.”

One of her reasons not to have children is that her children disappointed her. She doesn’t reflect on how she disappointed them. She tells women, “To persist in saying ‘me first’ is a badge of courage.” Yet she doesn’t feel that way about the child saying “me first.”

It’s true we sometimes come to motherhood with idyllic expectations. Christians know that our children are born with sin natures, but we’re surprised how early and strongly those natures exert themselves.

And we bring our own sin natures into the mix. It’s no wonder all these sin natures bumping into each other cause conflict and stress.

But they are also an excellent segue for teaching about grace and our need for God’s forgiveness and help. It’s not for nothing Colossians 3:12-14 says, “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”

Besides sin, children aren’t born knowing how to behave, share, think of others’ feelings, take turns. That’s what parents are for: to patiently teach them all those things.

Many in our society at large honor those who invest their lives in others–teachers, mentors, philanthropists. Yet so many look down on the investments of everyday motherhood, which for love’s sake deals with the nitty gritty and teaches and trains children through the highs as well as the lows, the mundane as well as the heart-warming. Why is being in the work force considered more valuable than training children at home? Why is taking care of and training children considered such a low-level occupation (even among paid professions like child care and teaching, some of the lowest-paid jobs) when children are our future?

Being a mother is hard work. Nothing else in my life showed me my own selfishness and need for God’s wisdom and enabling.

But being a mother is also rewarding work. My children aren’t perfect–of course not, coming from an imperfect mother. I pray God makes up for my mistakes with them. But my children are enjoyable people to know and be around.

In everything else I thought about being when I grew up, I always wanted to be a wife and mother as well. I am so thankful God gave me that opportunity.

So to the naysayers I respond: yes, it is worth it to be a mother. I am so grateful for my mother’s investment of time and love in me and for other women who “mothered” me in various ways.

Even as I try to defend and support motherhood, however, I am keenly aware of the pain of some women whose longing for motherhood is an unanswered prayer. God, for reasons only He knows, has not seen fit so far to bring husband and children.

Though motherhood is a blessing, it is not God’s highest calling. God’s highest calling for each woman is to be exactly where God placed her, doing exactly what He called her to do, whether that’s being a teacher, secretary, writer, nurse, or whatever. He can work in and through us to develop Christlikeness and further His kingdom in any number of ways.