Book Reviewed: Unglued

Posted on January 16, 2014 by Barbara Harper

Unglued by Lysa TerKeurst was one of those books I heard good things about, got when it was either free or on sale for the Kindle app, and then let sit there for months. I’m not sure what prompted me to read it now, but I am glad I did.

The subtitle is Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions. Most of us have had experiences with out-of-control emotions, both externally from others or internally within ourselves. Some of us are “exploders” who lash out at others in some way, and some of us are “stuffers” who seethe inside, or some combination of the two.

Emotions in themselves aren’t wrong: God gave them to us for various reasons. But just like with the rest of His gifts, we can use them in wrong ways.

Lysa starts with the idea of making “imperfect progress.” Sometimes we beat ourselves up over missteps and failures, but we need to remember it’s okay to take baby steps and to get up and start over as many times as needed, as long as we’re moving forward.

A big part of diffusing our emotions is taking control of the thoughts that feed them. “We won’t develop new responses until we develop new thoughts. That’s why renewing our minds with new thoughts is crucial. New thoughts come from new perspectives” (p. 22K – the K means Kindle version. I’m not sure if the page numbers are the same in the book itself). “Scripture also teaches that we can accept or refuse thoughts. Instead of being held hostage by old thought patterns, we can actually capture our thoughts and allow the power of Christ’s truth to change them: We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God” (p. 23K).

The other biggest factor in getting our emotions under control is spending time in God’s Word, and Lysa shares many applicable Scriptures.

Here are some other helpful quotes:

“I can face things that are out of my control and not act out of control” (p. 23).

“Could I trust God and believe He is working out something good even from things that seem no good? You see, if I know there is a potential good hidden within each chaotic situation, I can loosen my grip on control” (p. 24K).

“We can’t always fix our circumstances, but we can fix our minds on God” (p. 28K).

“Instead of condemning myself with statements like, I’m such a mess, I could say, Let God chisel. Let Him work on my hard places so I can leave the dark places of being stuck and come into the light of who He designed me to be” (p. 37K).

“I choose to view this circumstance as a call to action, not a call to beat myself up mentally” (p. 40K).

“In processing unglued reactions, soul integrity if the heart of what we’re after. Soul integrity is honesty that’s godly. It brings the passion of the exploder and the peacemaking of the stuffer under the authority of Jesus where honesty and godliness embrace and balance each other” (p. 52K).

“I stuff to protect myself by keeping conflict at bay. But if I’m stuffing and not being honest about my true feelings, that self-protection quickly turns into selfishness, and the unresolved conflict gives birth to bitterness” (p. 56K).

“Choosing a gentle reply doesn’t mean you’re weak; it actually means you possess a rare and godly strength” (p. 69K).

“Feelings are indicators, not dictators. They can indicate there is a situation I need to deal with, but they shouldn’t dictate how I react. I have a choice” (p. 72K).

“We must spend time with God, letting His truths become part of who we are and how we live. That’s what it means to have an internal experience with Him. Only then will we develop holy restraint” (p. 75).

“I acknowledge that I can only control myself. I can’t control how another person acts or reacts. Therefore, I shift my focus from trying to fix the other person and the situation to allowing God to reveal some tender truths to me…My job isn’t to fix the difficult people in my life or enable them to continue disrespectful or abusive behaviors. My job is to be obedient to God in the way I act and respond to those people” (p. 88K).

“I stuff as a false way to keep the peace. True peacekeeping isn’t about stopping the emotion. Remember, emotions move inward or outward – whether we want them to or not. True peacekeeping is about properly processing the emotions before they get stuffed and rot into something horribly toxic” (p. 91).

“Is my desire in this conflict to prove that I am right, or is my desire to improve the relationship?” (p. 92K).

“Instead of reacting out of anger, I pause and let the Holy Spirit redirect my first impulses. Then I tackle the issues – not the person” (p. 93).

“It is through God’s ‘great and precious promises’ (2 Peter 1:3-8) that I can participate in the divine nature. A nature very different from my own. I may not be gentle by nature, but I can be gentle by obedience. If – and only if – I equip myself with predetermined Biblical procedures that I can rely on when I start to feel the great unglued coming on” (pp. 104-105K).

“I started thinking that maybe I needed my own set of default procedures for when selfishness, pride, impatience, anger, or bitterness rear their ugly heads. Because in the moment I feel them, I feel justified in feeling them and find them hard to battle. But God’s promises – His truths and examples from Scripture – are powerful enough to redirect me to the divine nature I’m meant to have. Having a predetermined plan from Him will help me stay calmer when I start to feel unglued. More godly. More in line with Scripture” (p. 107K).

That’s probably way too many quotes – and that’s not even all I marked. But I hope some of them spoke to you as they spoke to me.

This is the first book by Lysa Terkeurst I’ve read, though I have two more on hand. I enjoyed her style, and I gleaned much from this one (I even went skimmed back through it after I finished to remind myself of some of the main points).

There were places where I didn’t agree with something she said, but I instead of going into them here, I’ll refer you to this review for more detail. Reading it has made me rethink this book.

(This will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

Book Review: Unspoken by Dee Henderson

Posted on January 15, 2014 by Barbara Harper

I’ve mentioned before my history of reading Dee Henderson novels. Her latest is Unspoken, which involves a survivor of one of the most famous kidnappings in Chicago. Charlotte Graham was kidnapped at sixteen and found four years later but has never said a word about it to the police or much of anyone else in the eighteen years since. She has a new life and profession and tries to keep a low profile.

But her grandfather, who is evidently wealthier than most of the population, has died and wanted her to manage his estate, part of which is a massive amount of valuable old coins. That brings her to Bryce Bishop, a dealer in coins who has his own respectable family business in Chicago. Bryce had been bored and prayed for God to shake up his life a bit, and Charlotte’s coins, the way she offered them for sale, and the woman herself have certainly answered that prayer.

Charlotte has decided she is single for life, so at first she is uninterested in anything but a business relationship with Bryce. The time they spend together leads to a friendship and interest on Bryce’s part. It’s a while before she feels free enough to disclose anything about her past, and she does so in stages. She describes herself as “at best a messed-up Christian” because she can’t reconcile how God could love her and yet let this happen to her, and how He would have forgiven her kidnappers if they had repented.

As Bryce and Charlotte work through their issues, a well-known investigative reporter decides it is time to write a book about the case. Not only will the book open old wounds for Charlotte, but it opens the door for danger as well. There is a reason she hasn’t said anything to the police about her abduction, and this reporter’s book could not only jeopardize her privacy but also the safety of her loved ones.

Paul and Ann Falcon from Full Disclosure are characters in this book as well, as friends of Bryce. You don’t have to have read that book to understand this one, but it was fun to “see” them again.

As always, Dee had done a wonderful job with the story, the suspense, the characters, and the spiritual issues in a natural way. I can always count on her books to pull me right in and keep me interested all the way through. This one did get a little boggy in places with all the detail about coins: I understand some detail was needed to be authentic, but I could have used less in places. But overall I loved it!

(This will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

How to Turn a Nightgown Into a Hospital Gown

Posted on January 14, 2014 by Barbara Harper

As many of you know, we care for my mother-in-law in our home, and one problem area in caring for someone who is almost immobile and now somewhat contracted is dressing them.

First we used hospital-type gowns: you can Google “hospital gowns” and find several places online to buy them. But the aide who cares for her during the week prefers using knit shirts because the hospital gowns’ length and extra fabric would get in the way while changing or positioning her or would get bunched up around under her. At first I didn’t like having her just in a shirt and Depends, but then she is in bed most of the time and covered up: even when we have her in her wheelchair for a couple of hours a day, she’s covered with a throw blanket, and we have enough to keep her warm. We use the longer hospital gowns if we take her out to the doctor or something, but just a shirt for everyday at home in bed.

As my mother-in-law got more contracted, it became harder to get a knit shirt on her arms and over her head. She keeps one arm pretty close to her body and it takes many encouragements to relax it before we can move it even to put deodorant on or put a sleeve over it, so we went back to hospital gowns. I did cut off the length of one and hemmed it up so it wouldn’t get so bunchy. They are much easier to get off and on, but they’re all short-sleeved (the only ones I found online with long sleeves opened in the front, which wouldn’t work for my m-i-l), and with cooler weather we wanted something with long sleeves. I was just about to look up patterns and see about making our own gowns when it occurred to me that I could take an existing gown and turn it into a hospital gown by cutting the back open and placing a Velcro patch at the top. I was concerned that the fabric taken up by finishing the edges and overlapping to use Velcro might make the gown too tight through the shoulders, so the first one was an experiment. Thankfully, most gowns are roomy enough that that wasn’t a problem (I had also thought of doing this with one of her knit shirts, but I think that would make a shirt too small).

Even though this is a pretty straightforward, self-explanatory procedure, since this is a blog and all, we must have pictures. 🙂

First I laid the gown on the table and lined up the side seams and shoulders so I could be sure I was cutting straight up the back:

One I had it straightened out and laying flat, I cut up the center of the back:

Then I turned under the raw edges just enough to stitch them down (with the knit fabric it pretty much curls into place, but I’d say I turned it under about 1/8 or 1/4 of an inch and then under again. The smaller you can make this, the less you’ll lose of the gown.

Then I sewed a Velcro patch on the right side of the fabric on one side of the gown, and the wrong side of the fabric on the other side (sounds more complicated to explain than it actually is, but basically you want to be able to place one side over the other).

(Please excuse my not-so-straight sewing there. 😳 )

Important note here: do not use stick-on Velcro! The adhesive doesn’t stick well enough on fabric to stay on through opening and closing the gown. I knew that and thought I’d use it anyway to hold the Velcro in place while I sewed it, but the adhesive glopped up my sewing machine needle with goo. Using the sew-on kind is not hard at all.

My mother-in-law’s caregiver and I were really pleased with the results. Not only is it easier to get on her and warmer, but the fabric is softer and more pliable that a regular hospital gown. For now I’ve left it its original length, but if it gets as bunchy and in-the-way as the other hospital gowns, I can cut the length off – probably not as short as a shirt, but shorter than gown-length.

If you have a serger or some way of finishing the edges without turning them under, and you want to make ties for the top instead of using Velcro, you could do this without losing the inch or so in the back. The Velcro, to me, is easier to use than tying ties. I wouldn’t use a hook and eye closure if the person using the gown is fairly immobile, because you have to watch their skin constantly for any breakage or chafing (which could quickly develop into a bedsore), and I’d be afraid a hook and eye would be more prone to that.

There you have it! I’ve redone a couple of her gowns now, and since it worked so well, I’ll be doing a few more in the coming days.

I’m linking up with “Works For Me Wednesday,” where you can find an abundance of helpful hints each week at We Are THAT family on Wednesdays.

TBR Challenge

Posted on January 13, 2014 by Barbara Harper

I appreciated my friend Lisa‘s comment on my post about book challenges last week about the struggle with balance between wanting to be intentional in reading yet not wanting to feel hemmed in. I struggle with that, too. There are some books I’d never get around to reading without some of these challenges and lists, but I don’t want to have so many lists that I’m feeling overly pressured. I know sometimes God has directed me to a book I needed right at the moment that wasn’t on my radar, and I want to leave room for that and for the just-for-fun books (because I read both to learn and to relax.)

I’ve been pondering for a few days what to list for the 2014 TBR Pile Challenge hosted by Roof Beam Reader. The challenge is to read 12 books in a year that have been on your shelves unread with a publication date before 2013. I chafe a little bit at that because I have books on my shelves published last year that I want to get to, and books I just got for Christmas that have pre-2013 publication dates but are new to me. But I do understand the need for guidelines of some kind, or else this would be just a general reading list. So I am trying to keep within the spirit of the post and choose books that I’ve had on my shelves or in my Kindle app for a while now. I came up with a list of 25, and that’s not including a box of books in my closet that I had forgotten about. 😳 So from those I’m narrowing it down to this list of 12, with two allowable alternate titles in case I decide against any of the others during the year (as per instructions, as I finish each book and review it, I’m adding the link to that review to the titles below):

1. Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire with God, Not Food by Lisa TerKeurst (pub. 2010). Proverbs 31 Ministries is hosting a study of this book beginning Jan. 19, so I’ll be joining in that. (Finished March 1, 2014)

2. Crowded to Christ by L. E. Maxwell (pub. 1952), recommended by a former pastor. (Finished April 7)

3. Ida Scudder: Healing Bodies, Touching Hearts by Janet and Geoff Benge (pub. 2012). I had read a biography of hers (though not this one) some 25-30 years ago and wanted to refresh myself on her story. (Finished Feb. 3)

4. The House Is Quiet, Now What? by Janice Hanna and Kathleen Y’Barbo (pub. 2009). The subtitle is Rediscovering Life and Adventure As a Empty Nester. My nest isn’t totally empty yet, and I don’t see a shortage of things to do for a long time to come, but figured this would be helpful with perspective. One sentence I saw while flipping through it really spoke to me (about the “sandwich generation”), so I am looking forward to this. I had thought Lisa recommended this one, but maybe that was a different book. (Finished March 10)

5. How to Read Slowly by James W. Sire (pub. 1978). Even with making notes and marking with sticky tabs. I have a hard time feeling like I’ve really grasped everything I need to from nonfiction, so I am hoping this will help in that regard. (Finished July 20)

6. How to Be a Writer by Barbara Baig (pub. 2010). I like to read a book about writing every now and then to keep those embers stirred.

7. Walking From East to West: God in the Shadows by Ravi Zacharias (pub. 2009), because Sherry recommended it to me and because I like hearing how people came to the Lord, among other reasons. (Finished March 16)

8. The Great Divorce by C. S. Lewis (pub. 1946). I’ve read Narnia, the Space Trilogy, and Mere Christianity and now want to read some other Lewis books. (Finished May 6)

9. Loving the Church by John Crotts (pub. 2010), sent to me by Carrie a long time ago. 😳 (Finished June 17)

10. The Book of Three by Alexander Lloyd (pub. 2006), first book in the Prydain Chronicles, recommended by Janet. (Finished June 30)

11. Wednesdays Were Pretty Normal: A Boy, Cancer, and God by Michael Kelley (pub 2012). (Finished May 21)

12. Why We Are Not Emergent: By Two Guys Who Should Be by Kevin DeYoung and Ted Kluck (pub. 2008), partly because I have never heard anybody adequately explain what the emergent movement is, and I’ve heard this is a good critique. (Finished October 15)

Alternates: Girl in the Gatehouse by Julie Klassen (Finished Aug. 31) and Just Jane: A Novel of Jane Austen’s Life by Nancy Moser (Finished Aug. 4). (My wrap-up post for this challenge is here: https://barbarah.wordpress.com/2014/12/15/reading-challenge-wrap-up/)

You notice how many of these are nonfiction. That’s probably why they have been languishing on my shelves. 😳 I gravitate to fiction and biographies: I like nonfiction when I read it, but I usually have to “make” myself read it. So this list will be a challenge in more ways than one!

As per Roof Beam Reader’s instructions, when I finish and review each book, I’ll make its title above into a link to the review.

Lisa mentioned on her reading challenges post this morning a Nonfiction Reading Challenge which I hadn’t seen but given all the nonfiction have listed here, I figured I may as well join up. 🙂

The Challenge: Read any non-fiction book(s), adult or young adult. That’s it. You can choose anything. Memoirs? Yes. History? Yes. Travel? Yes. You get the idea? Absolutely anything that is classified as non-fiction counts for this challenge.

I always like levels in my challenges, so here are mine:

Dilettante–Read 1-5 non-fiction books

Explorer–Read 6-10

Seeker–Read 11-15

Master–Read 16-20

This challenge will last from January 1 to December 31, 2014. You can sign up anytime throughout the year.

With the books listed about plus a couple of others I want to read this year, I am aiming for the Seeker level.

Do you have books that have been on your “To Be Read” shelves for a while? Maybe you’ll consider joining in with challenge with us, and we can encourage each other along the way.

Laudable Linkage

Posted on January 11, 2014 by Barbara Harper

Here are a few interesting reads found this week:

Head Knowledge = Good. Heart Knowledge = Good. We need both.

Reading the Bible Like Jesus: Matt. 22:31 and Reading the Bible Like Jesus: Luke 24. I would just caution, with the first one, that though we do need to read the Bible as written directly to us, we need to remember that not every instruction or promise is for us to follow. Some things were given specifically to Israel or to an individual. But, yes, even that is written to us for a purpose.

Don’t Pray in Circles!

Coming Home: When Missionaries Come Off the Field. Ways to be helpful rather than hurtful.

Rescued. Beautiful.

How Do Birds Keep Warm in Winter? HT to FFF friend Kathie (who always has gorgeous photos!) I thought our resident cardinals were just getting fat, and though they do eat more to stay warm, they also fluff layers of air amidst their wings as insulation. Very interesting article.

Saw this at Bobbi‘s. Very sweet. I don’t know if falling makes you stronger, as it says at the end, but I do hope I’ve taught my kids that falling isn’t the end. This is a good reminder, too, that though Olympic athletes are talented, they also have years of hard word leading up to their feats.

Have a good weekend!

Friday’s Fave Five

Posted on January 10, 2014 by Barbara Harper

Welcome to Friday’s Fave Five, hosted by Susanne at Living to Tell the Story, in which we can share five of our favorite things from the last week, a wonderful exercise in looking for and appreciating the good things God blesses us with. Click on the button to learn more, then go to Susanne’s to read others’ faves and link up your own.

Brrr! It was 1 degree F on Monday and didn’t get above the mid-teens all day, and this was after rain and snow, so it was pretty icy out. I haven’t been that cold in a very long time. 45 degrees today (Thursday) felt almost balmy! Here are some favorite parts of the week.

1. Not losing power. Sometimes a favorite is something that didn’t happen that you were afraid might! According to the local news, about 500 or so homes did. I felt so bad for them and prayed it would be restored quickly.

2. No broken pipes here: our church did have one, but because they were taking precautions it was minor.

3. Not running out of supplies. Somehow I was not as prepared for the weather this time as I usually am, and I’ve found that makes a great deal of difference in how I feel about the weather! We were running low on a couple of things before I felt comfortable enough to venture out, but didn’t run out completely, thankfully.

4. Warmer weather, relatively, later in the week. Supposed to be in the 60s by the weekend!

5. Sous-vide chicken. I mentioned last week that my son made a sous vide cooking apparatus for my husband for Christmas, and this is his third and so far best experiment with it. He made three kinds of chicken: teriyaki, barbecue, and a marinade he had found at the store (it is nice with this system that one can make different flavors without their mixing together with each other). The chicken breasts were so thick that he never could have grilled them without burning the outside before getting the inside done. They were so moist and good.

BTW, when I mentioned sous vide last time, someone commented on the cost of the cooker. Jim said new they’re about $500, but Jeremy had found a link with instructions to make a sous-vide cooker for about $40 and put one together for his dad. When they were first discussing it, I thought, “OK, so, what’s the big deal?” But now I am a definite fan!

Bonuses: Safety on super-icy roads was a blessing, as was my mother-in-law’s aide being able to come in spite of the weather, and throw blankets, coffee, and good books have helped make the cold days a good bit cozier.

Happy Friday!

Upcoming Reading Challenges

Posted on January 9, 2014 by Barbara Harper

I hope you’ll forgive so many bookish posts this week: it’s been a catch-up time for finishing some and writing about others.

There are a few reading challenges I’m planning to participate in this year.

Carrie is hosting a Reading to Know Classics Book Club alternating between children’s and adult classics and asked 12 blog friends to chose a book and lead a discussion of it. You can see a list of the books for this year here. There are no requirements about how much one must participate (which I appreciate very much!) We can just chose to participate whichever months we’re interested. I’m honored to be leading the discussion for To the Golden Shore about Adoniram Judson by Courtney Anderson in October. Several of the titles listed there look interesting: I’m planning to participate several months (probably most of the adult classics and maybe a few of the children’s).

Every January Carrie also hosts a L. M. Montgomery Reading Challenge. Nice way to start the year, don’t you think? I’ve reread all the Anne of Green Gables books for this challenge the last few years and last year read the first Emily book. But this year I’m reading The Blue Castle, one of LMM’s few adult books, which dovetails with the Classic Book Club above, and if I have time I’ll read the second Emily book.

In February I’m hosting the third annual Laura Ingalls Wilder Reading Challenge: more info. on that is here, and I’ll share what I am reading for that on Feb. 1.

There are a couple of other through-the-year challenges that are new to me this year that I am going to try. I believe all of these came to my attention via Joyful Reader.

The Cloud of Witnesses Challenge is sponsored by Becky at Operation Actually Read Bible, and the idea is to read nonfiction books by godly authors who have gone on to be with Jesus. They don’t have to be full books: they could be sermons or articles. A list of suggested authors is here, but Becky is open to others. I am going to commit to reading four. One is Crowded to Christ by L. E. Maxwell, highly recommended by a beloved and highly respected former pastor (though I started it this morning and it looks a little daunting, but we’ll see how it goes!) and Traveling Toward Sunrise by Mrs. Charles E. Cowman (of Streams in the Desert fame). I also have a couple of C. S. Lewis books on hand that I’ll probably include.

I’m considering the 2014 TBR Pile Challenge hosted by Roof Beam Reader. The challenge is to read 12 books in a year that have been on your shelves unread with a publication date before 2013. I’m sure I have 12 books that qualify: I’m just not sure I want to commit to 12, especially as we have to provide a list beforehand, and I don’t want to be hemmed in by reading commitments. But some of these would crossover with some of the other challenges, so I might be able to do it. Everyone who conquest their TBR list before the end of the year is entered in a drawing for a $50 gift card to Amazon, so that’s motivation, too! 🙂 ~~The list of what we plan to read for that needs to be up by the 15th, so I have a few days yet to work on it~~. (I did decide to do this: my list is here.)

And finally, Karen at Books and Chocolate is hosting a Back to the Classics Challenge (guidelines and explanations here) where we can choose classics that fit in certain categories, and there are drawings for prizes at the end of it! 🙂 There are some required categories and some optional categories. My list will overlap a bit with Carrie’s Book Club mentioned above (otherwise I’d never be able to do this!)

Required:

A 20th Century Classic: My Man Jeeves by P. D. Wodehouse
A 19th Century Classic: Bleak House by Charles Dickens
A Classic by a Woman Author: The Blue Castle by L. M. Montgomery
A Classic in Translation (A book originally written in a different language from your own.) The Brothers Karamazov by Dostoyevsky.
A Classic About War The Scarlet Pimpernel by Baroness Orczy.
A Classic by an Author Who Is New To You: The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins

Optional Categories:

An American Classic: Farmer Boy by Laura Ingalls Wilder
A Classic Mystery, Suspense or Thriller: A Study in Scarlet by Arthur Conan Doyle, the first Sherlock Holmes book
A Historical Fiction Classic: I will Repay by Baroness Orzcy, part of The Scarlet Pimpernel series. I hadn’t known there was more than one book with him!
A Classic That’s Been Adapted Into a Movie or TV Series: To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee.
Extra Fun Category: Write a Review of the Movie or TV Series adapted from Optional Category #4

Let me know if you’re planning to join in on any of these, and we can keep up with each other’s progress.

I’m giving some thought to hosting a challenge to read a certain number of missionary books throughout the year. Let me know if you’d be interested in that and how many books you think would be reasonable.

Christian Fans

Posted on January 8, 2014 by Barbara Harper

I’m not going to get into the remarks make by a professing Christian reality show star a few weeks ago: there has been plenty written about that in the weeks since. But I did want to address something that has concerned me about Christian celebrity culture.

If there are Christians in the entertainment and sports world who can let their light shine for Christ without compromising their conscience or standards or testimony, that’s wonderful. They may not do and say everything just like I would, but that’s fine – that could probably be said of all of us, and God doesn’t make cookie-cutter Christians. What concerns me is not the famous Christians out there making news: what concerns me is their Christian fan base.

Some months ago (probably years, now), when another Christian was in the media spotlight, some folks I know were discussing him on Facebook. A loved one left a verse in the comments indicating that he wasn’t totally behind one of his practices. He didn’t rail about him, discredit him, or leave a lengthy diatribe; he just left one verse, but it was a verse that seemed to go against what the man was doing. Instead of drawing the commenter out with questions and having intelligent further discussion, the fans of this man harshly turned on the commenter like hungry dogs on raw meat. These were people that this loved one knew personally and had gone to church with. (Is it any wonder that this loved one isn’t so interested in church these days?) And I thought, how sad that people will defend at all costs a media personage, even a Christian one, who will never know them or care about them, at the expense of a relationship with someone they know and are supposed to love in their very own church and community.

I saw some similar things happen after this last situation: fans and non-fans started drawing up sides for and against the Christian celebrity and fans took any opposing viewpoint as a criticism and defended their man, sometimes without much grace for their “real life” acquaintances.

If I may, I’d like to share some thoughts about Christian fandom:

1. Not everyone will like the same program or person that we do. If you talk much to people (and social media perhaps makes it more possible to toss around opinions on a variety of things), you’re going to run into people with differences of opinion on just about everything under the sun. There are some fundamental issues we can’t budge on (but even those we can discuss with grace with those who differ), but we need to learn that on secondary issues, and especially something as low on the scale as liking a celebrity, we can show grace to someone with a differing viewpoint. We all know people who come down on the opposite sides of some issues of importance to us, and both sides can love God, extend grace to each other, and be friends.

2. A difference of opinion about something a celebrity did or said is not necessarily an “attack.” Even if it were, is attacking back the right way to respond? Like any other difference of opinion, we should be able to discuss the issues and at least come to understand the other’s viewpoint even if we can’t totally agree with it. If one side or the other gets too heated about it, it’s best to “agree to disagree” and drop it.

3. We need to keep Biblical relationships in mind. If we feel the need to defend “our guy,” we need to do so with grace and remember that the friend (even the Facebook friend), neighbor, or fellow church member we’re interacting with is a person we’re supposed to exercise Biblical “one anothers” with, not someone we harbor hard feelings against because they said something on Facebook that opposed the guy we’re fans of.

Dictionary.com lists one definition for “fan” as “an enthusiastic devotee, follower, or admirer of a sport, pastime, celebrity, etc.,” and I don’t think it is wrong to be a fan of a public figure or to discuss or even promote him or her. But it also says “fan” can be short for “fanatic,” “a person with an extreme and uncritical enthusiasm or zeal” with synonyms such as “zealot, bigot, hothead, militant.” We can be fans of a Christian celebrity without being so fanatical that we harm other relationships or let our own testimony shine more for our favored celebrity than for our Lord.

A few short reviews

Posted on January 7, 2014 by Barbara Harper

I finished a few books recently that I’m going to group here together with shorter than usual reviews.

Jennifer: An O’Malley Love Story by Dee Henderson is a prequel to the acclaimed O’Malley series, which I loved (but unfortunately read before I had a blog in which to chronicle my thoughts!) Dee’s books pull me right in from the start, and this was no exception. It’s a fairly short book at 154 pages, so I can’t say too much without giving away too much, but basically it’s about Jennifer O’Malley, pediatric surgeon, youngest of the O’Malley siblings who put themselves together as a family from an orphanage. An incident in the hospital leads to Jennifer meeting a surgeon named Tom Peterson. He’s a believer, she is not, and as she gets to know Tom, she gets to know his Savior. She has some physical problems which she brushes off at first…and I’ll leave the plot at that. 🙂 It leaves off where the first O’Malley book, The Negotiator, starts (or maybe it’s the second book now and this is the first?)

I think I remember what happens to her in The Negotiator – I was hoping this book would wrap up her story. In one way I’d love to read The Negotiator again, especially to remind myself of what ultimately happens to Jennifer, but I have so many other books stacked up. I probably will find myself going back to it some time in the next few months.

One quibble I have occurs at Jennifer’s baptism, when Tom says, “On the confession of your faith…I now baptize you in the name of Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, that you might receive the forgiveness for your sins, the gift of the Holy Spirit, and the promise of eternal life” (p. 120). My quibble is with the phrase “that you might receive.” A believer receives this things immediately, and baptism pictures that fact. The way this is worded sounds to me like they’re received at baptism. Sorry to sound so nitpicky, but this is vitally important.

Hmm, that one wasn’t quite so short! But the next ones will be, I promise.

A Quiet Place: Daily Devotional Readings by Nancy Leigh DeMoss is a devotional book made up from several of Nancy’s other books. I don’t think I had read a whole book of hers before, but I loved her chapters in True Woman, and I enjoyed this very much and have several pages marked. I like her passion for the Bible and for encouraging readers to read, hear, and obey it. There were just a very few places where she seemed just a little preachy/scoldy to me, but then that just might have been my impression: I tend to be oversensitive to that kind of thing. Overall I’d highly recommend this, and I am grateful to the friend who gave it to me.

One Year Christian History by E. Michael and Sharon Rusten was another gift, and as its name might imply, it is a devotional that focuses on some event in Christian history corresponding to the date. It also shares a Scripture verse in conjunction with each story and ends with some questions to think about. I questioned a few of the inclusions being there, but overall I enjoyed it, though not in a “You have to get this!” kind of way.

The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place: Book IV: The Interrupted Tale by Maryrose Wood is every bit is fun as the first three stories of three siblings raised by wolves, discovered in the woods, taken into the home of Lord Frederick Ashton, and taught by their plucky young governess from the Agatha Swanburne School for Poor Bright Females, Miss Penelope Lumley. In this story the suspicious Judge Quinzy wants to rename the school The Quinzy School for Miserable Girls and change some of its rules. Penelope has been asked to speak at an alumni event and takes the Incorrigibles with her, where she tries to save the school and decipher a book written in invisible ink about cannibals on an island before Quinzy does. It sounds crazy, but it works. 🙂 We do get a bit more information about some of the questions that have come up from the previous books, but evidently there is another book coming, so the rest of the mysteries must wait! Once again Katherine Kellgren’s narration on the audiobook is just delightful.

(This will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

Book Review: Lost and Found

Posted on January 6, 2014 by Barbara Harper

I picked up Lost and Found by Ginny Yttrup because I loved her first book, Words (linked to my thoughts).

Lost and Found is primarily the story of two women. Jenna Bouvier once appeared to “have it all,” but her beauty has been marred by a surgical facial scar, her fairy tale marriage came with a toxicly controlling mother-in-law, and she hasn’t produced the children that she was hand-picked to provide. As her mother-in-law threatens to ruin her reputation, she struggles with what she thought it meant to take up one’s cross and lose one’s own life to follow Christ.

Andee Bell is driven to succeed and has achieved wealth, fame, and recognition as a financial expert. She’s a take-charge woman who is dating Jenna’s brother and turned off by what appears to be Jenna’s passivity. As they get to know one another, Andee discovers there is more to Jenna than meets the eye. Andee has her own secrets which fuel her ambition but now threaten to undo her. After she brokers a deal that ends up selling out someone close to her, her carefully constructed world begins to unravel. Her desire to cling to her own life as she understands it may mean losing what is most important.

I loved the story and both women’s journeys. I was put off by the practices of contemplative spirituality (not the idea of being thoughtful and meditative, but elements of the contemplative movement or contemplative spirituality. I expressed concerns about that at the end of a another book discussion, so I won’t get into them again here.) The book mentions Jeanne Guyon often, with a epigraph from her before each chapter. I am wary of “mystics,” though I don’t think I saw anything I disagreed with in any of her direct quotes, and I know Elisabeth Elliot read and quoted her, too. I should probably read about her some time, but I am not inclined to any time soon. I was also a bit uncomfortable with the attraction between Jenna and her spiritual director, Matthew – they both felt it was entirely spiritual and took precautions against it turning into or looking like it was turning into a romance, but in real life I think further care should be employed.

Looking beyond those concerns, as I said, I did enjoy the story and where it ended up. The last chapter takes place seven months after the climax of the story, and I would like to have known a few more details about how it all worked out, but I suppose those could have been outside what the story was really about.

(This will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)