Sometimes the joy comes after

Posted on May 21, 2009 by Barbara Harper

Yesterday was the kind of day some harried mother must have had when she coined the phrase, “If a woman’s place is in the home, why am I always in the car?”

I knew I had to be at one place at 9 a.m., but I hadn’t foreseen several other things coming up and errands piling upon errands throughout the day. I won’t bore you with a blow-by-blow account, but by 5:30 p.m. I ended up bringing fast-food dinner home to sit down for a few minutes until church. During the course of the day I was informed of an opportunity for service at church that evening — actually more of a responsibility than an opportunity. Maybe because it was unexpected, maybe because I was already tired — I’m a homebody, and being out all day makes me tired and a little cranky — I did not react with joy and enthusiasm at the news. Some of the unexpected errands had to do with preparations for this unexpected event. By church time, honestly, if I hadn’t had this responsibility, I might have talked myself into being too tired to go.

Yet we live by faith, not by feeling, and part of faith is not just what we believe but also the outworking of that faith into our daily lives, sometimes in spite of feelings. So I went. And as so often happens, I was glad I did. I had begun the evening tired and harried, and came home joyful and refreshed.

That has happened so often in my life: I remember times of being asked to do something and not feeling the liberty to say no (it’s not that I never say no — I feel perfectly free to decline at times), yet instead of “serving the Lord with gladness” I dragged my feet and chafed at the intrusion on my time and energy. Then afterward I was so ashamed of myself for my negative feelings and so immensely glad I done the task — not just in the satisfaction of having done one’s “duty” or “a good deed” but — I don’t know how to describe it — just joy in actually serving.

Last night I picked up a copy of Joy And Strength, a devotional book of quotes and verses compiled by Mary Wilder Tileston. I had gone through it a few times several years ago and had it nearby to glean some of the quotes of it I wanted to remember. The reading for yesterday fit perfectly:

He hath chosen us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love.
EPHESIANS 1:4

O LOVE, who formedst me to wear
The image of Thy Godhead here;
Who soughtest me with tender care
Through all my wanderings wild and drear;
O Love! I give myself to Thee,
Thine ever, only Thine to be.
JOHANN SCHEFFLER

WE live not for ourselves, but for God; for some purpose of His; for some special end to be accomplished, which He has willed to be accomplished by oneself, and not by another; something which will be left undone, if we do it not, or not be done as it would have been done, if the one ordained to it had done it. We live gifted with certain forms of spiritual grace embodied in us, for some purpose of Divine Love to be fulfiled by us, some idea of the Divine Mind to be imaged forth in our creaturely state. To devote oneself to God is to concentrate the powers of one’s being to their ordained end, and therefore to have the happiest and truest life–happiest, because happiness must be in the accordance of these powers with the law of their creation, and truest, because the attainment of the highest glory must be in the accomplishment of the end for which we were created.
T. T. CARTER

The May 21-25 readings are good and applicable as well.

So much for the deep thoughts…

Posted on May 20, 2009 by Barbara Harper

They’re going to have to simmer on the back burner a little while longer…Meanwhile here are a couple of things you might enjoy.

Seen at wanderingheart designs:

Your rainbow is shaded white.

What is says about you: You are a contemplative person. You appreciate quiet moments. People depend on you to make them feel secure.

Find the colors of your rainbow at spacefem.com.

The graph above is supposed to have several rows of colored stripes, but they keep disappearing. I am more contemplative and love quiet moments.

funny

Assorted Thoughts and 20 Favorite Things

Posted on May 18, 2009 by Barbara Harper

I noticed my last post was my 1,500th. I should celebrate or something!

Karla Dornacher, whose artwork and books I love, is giving away this gift basket around 4 p.m. May 20.Isn’t it lovely? See this post if you’re interested in winning it.

I mentioned we were celebrating Mother’s Day yesterday since last weekend was full with graduation and company. My family gave me some books I’d wanted (Yay!) and some gift cards (Yay!) and a Wii Fit, which I’d been wanting. We had a lot of fun with it yesterday. Jason thinks the novelty will wear off in a couple of weeks, but the more you do, the more new exercises you “unlock,” so that’s probably designed to keep interest stimulated. Plus, even though Jim and the boys cooked dinner last week, they did again this week. I know, I’m spoiled.

I feel like a lot of my posts over the last few weeks have been kind of lightweight due to all the other events going on. I really do have some Deep Thoughts that I hope to delve into over the next few weeks.

I need to find a way to dictate posts while in the shower. I do some of my best thinking in there.

There is absolutely nothing extra-curricular on the schedule this week, and I love it. Now is an opportunity to get to all those other things I’ve been wanting to. But I’m not sure where to start. I think maybe I’ll work on organizing some of my craft stuff. There have been a few times I wanted to do a quick something but couldn’t because I couldn’t find which drawer I had something stashed in. Curtain-making is on the agenda as well, hopefully soon — I am still undecided about trim and need to go to the next town to look at some. Sadly, most of the fabric stores have closed here — even Wal-Mart doesn’t carry fabric or trims any more.

Finally, I saw this at Mama Bear‘s, but it is originally from The Simple Woman:

20 Favorite Things

1. Color…pink
2. Dessert… devil’s food cake with chocolate fudge icing
3. Smell… something baking or the scent outside a steakhouse (makes my mouth water!!)
4. Flower… pink roses
5. Animal… dog I guess — I am not much of an animal lover.
6. Month… December maybe? There is something I like about most of them.
7. Beverage… decaf Diet Pepsi
8. Pair of shoes… simple black flats
9. Snack… sweet: chocolate chip cookies; salty: sour cream and onion potato chips
10. Song… too many to have one favorite! Hymn: “Beneath the Cross of Jesus” is one favorite as is “Be Thou My Vision“; old song: “Someone to Watch Over Me” or “The Way You Look Tonight.” Irish folk song: “Star of the County Down,” especially the King’s Singer’s version.
11. Book… the Bible
12. Fruit…bananas
13. Hairstyle- shoulder length, turned under
14. Piece of clothing… this is a hard one…I guess a lightweight seersucker dress I like to wear when the weather is warm…or the pink dress I wore to graduation. That’s my favorite “nice” dress.
15. Store to clothes shop…Cato’s
16. Season…spring or fall
17. Hobby… reading
18. Thing to collect…heart-shaped things, Boyd’s Bear figurines
19. Movie…Little Women — the Wynona Ryder version
20. Restaurant…Cracker Barrel

Feel free to join in, and let me know if you do!

Honoring Mom

Posted on May 17, 2009 by Barbara Harper

I’m thinking about Mother’s Day a week late since we postponed most of our celebration due to all the busyness last week.

I was saddened recently to read Albert Mohler’s thoughts that “Mother’s Day is a bad idea.” I agree with some of his points: it’s wrong to passively neglect or actively dishonor one’s mother and then try to assuage guilt with a card and flowers on Mother’s Day. And I do agree some sentiments are over the top: sometimes when buying cards I have wondered if they were made for real people at all. Sentimentality, though, is often in the eye of the beholder. What might seem “gushy” and over the top to some might seem just right to another. And, yes, most holidays have become too commercial, but that doesn’t mean we need to do away with them completely. There are multitudes of options between going all out and not celebrating at all.

I consider Mother’s and Father’s Day and many holidays in the same way I think of Thanksgiving: we’re supposed to be thankful all the time, but there is something special about that one day and taking special care and thought into pondering just how much we have to be thankful for and the One to Whom we owe our gratitude. So with a day dedicated to parents: it’s one of the ten commandments to honor our parents, and Mother’s and Father’s Day is just one way to do so. It’s not that we save up our honor all year for this day: we honor them all the time, but this special day we focus on them, their love to us, and all they have done for us, and let them know we love and appreciate them.

I did not always honor her as I should have. I wrote more about learning to do so at the end of this post. A couple of years ago I wrote Things I love about my mom. I won’t repost it, but I did enjoy reading over it again. I only wish she were still here for me to honor, but I do honor her memory.

Today I wanted to share a couple of poems I’ve seen around the Internet.

This one was seen at The Sparrow’s Nest:

A Mother’s Day Prayer

I said a Mother’s Day prayer for you
to thank the Lord above
for blessing me with a lifetime
of your tenderhearted love.

I thanked God for the caring
you’ve shown me through the years,
for the closeness we’ve enjoyed
in time of laughter and of tears.

And so, I thank you from the heart
for all you’ve done for me
and I bless the Lord for giving me
the best mother there could be!

~Author Unknown~

Often this day can be painful to those who aren’t mothers and want to be. I saw this prayer at Quill’s Cottage and thought it beautifully encompassed many different types of mothers.

A Mother’s Day Prayer

God our Creator, I pray:
For new mothers, coming to terms with new responsibility;
for expectant mothers, wondering and waiting;
for those who are tired, stressed, or depressed;
for those who struggle to balance the tasks of work and family;
for those who are unable to feed their children due to poverty;
for those whose children have physical, mental, or emotional disabilities;
for those who have children that they do not want;
for those who raise children on their own;
for those who have lost a child;
for those who care for the children of others;
for those whose children have left home;
and for those whose desire to be a mother has not been fulfilled.

Bless all mothers, that their love may be deep and tender,
and that they may lead their children to know and to do what is good,
living not for themselves alone, but for God and for others.
Amen

~ Author Unknown

Here’s some other previously published Mother-related thoughts:

Mother’s Day funnies
Mother’s Kisses
A few Mother’s Day poems

Sometimes I am greatly embarrassed by my fellow Christians

Posted on May 16, 2009 by Barbara Harper

I was reading an article earlier this week wherein the author quoted from a source that had a Biblical fact wrong, and the snide, ridiculing comments were just atrocious. Of course, not all of the people who responded that way were professing Christians, but I am sure some were. Good grief, people. What does it say to a non-Christian when Christians come across with such arrogance and self-righteousness? How does that reflect on Christ, whom we’re supposed to be representing? Where is the grace? Then another friend spoke with sorrow on the attacks his friend received online due to a lifestyle that most professing Christians could not condone. How did Jesus deal with people — the women at the well and the adulterous woman, for two examples?

I Timothy 2:24-26: And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient,In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.

Colossians 4:5-6: Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time. Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

In Philippians 4:5, “Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand,” the word “moderation” means “a sweet reasonableness” according to Word Studies in the Greek New Testament and is translated “genetleness” or “reasonableness” in other translations. The KJV translators probably meant moderation in the sense of moderation of spirit.

And of course I am not saying we should just condone everything. I’ve written before on what “judge not” doesn’t mean and the fact that sometimes the most loving thing you can do is confront someone about their sin.

Contending for the faith doesn’t mean we have a generally contentious nature. We can stand for Biblical truth without being obnoxious and driving away the very people Christ loves and for whom He died. We need to show the same grace we have been shown. “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

Friday’s Fave Five

Posted on May 14, 2009 by Barbara Harper

Susanne at Living to Tell the Story hosts a “Friday Fave Five” in which we share our five favorite things from the past week. Click on the button to read more of the details, and you can visit Susanne to see the list of others’ favorites.

1. Graduation weekend. Both the graduation ceremony and our celebratory dinner were highlights of the year!

2. Having my son’s fiancee back for a visit. She’s nice to have around. 🙂 It was fun just to have her here, but talking over wedding plans and such was a delight, too. And, I don’t know how to word this exactly, but I enjoyed seeing her and Jason’s relationship deepen and seeing them take “adult” steps like looking at places to live, etc. I’m seeing aspects of Jason I haven’t seen before. 🙂

3. Having my computer crash was NOT a fave thing, but having a son capable of handling it is. Plus with reinstalling everything I have newer updates, and getting rid of some old unused files streamlined everything. Thanks again, Jeremy!

4. Jesse’s piano recital Tuesday night and spring concert Thursday night. He did a great job!

CIMG2808

5. Having the above major events and a few others throughout the spring OVER!! There is not much outside the home on the schedule next week besides the usual church services and shopping, and it feels so good!

Bonus: 6. New shoes! I’d been needing some new everyday shoes, but hadn’t had time to shop. My feet are hard to fit and it isn’t always easy to find something I like that works that isn’t too expensive, but one day when I was in W*Mart I whipped by the shoe section, and voila! Found some nice ones for $11.

I didn’t mention Mother’s Day because we decided to postpone our own celebration since last week was so busy with graduation and company. We did have cards and gifts for my mother-in-law and my son’s fiancee’s mother and hope they had a great day! And all my guys made their awesome traditional Mother’s Day dinner.

If you’d like to see others’ favorites or join in with your own, stop by Susanne‘s. I’ve been enjoying this weekly opportunity to stop and reflect on good things from the past week.

If you left a comment recently…

Posted on May 14, 2009 by Barbara Harper

…on the post “Caring for Elderly Parents,” I apologize, but it was accidentally deleted. It was in my spam folder, which I do check every day, because sometimes legitimate comments get caught in there. But I only skim those posts lightly because they are so often vile (why do spammers not find better uses of their time??!!) I skimmed through the spam comments, clicked delete, and just before it disappeared saw what looked like a legitimate lengthy comment on the post about elderly parents, mentioning something about coming up to the one year mark of having moved my mother-in-law near to us. I checked with the WordPress support forum, and there is no way to get it back.

I hope whoever left that comment sees this and resubmits it. I would very much like to read what you had to say! My apologies again.

By request: gold curlicues and bookmark tutorial

Posted on May 13, 2009 by Barbara Harper

When I posted about our ladies’ luncheon at church, Sally said she wished she could see the gold curly things in the centerpieces a little better, and Mama Bear asked if I might do a tutorial on the bookmarks we used as favors. I am happy to do both.

Here are those curlicue thingys en masse.

They were a dark reddish brown and came four to a stalk at $1.98 at Hobby Lobby, and I got them at half price. I don’t know what they’re called, but they were in with the floral stems. I spray-painted them in gold to go along with our color theme. We used about three per bud vase, varying the heights. Here’s a hastily reassembled one to give you an idea of how we used them.

Bookmark tutorial:

1. You can buy book-marked sized cardstock at craft stores, usually in white or off-white. You can also cut them out of any color or style of card stock. If you cut them 2″ x 6″ you can get 12 out of a sheet of 12 x 12″ card stock, but you can make them larger or slightly smaller than that as well.

Unless you have a very steady hand, it’s best to use a paper-cutter. Either the craft or office variety will work. I don’t usually use decorative scissors on this base piece, though you could.

2. The second layer is usually decorative paper. Scrapbooking paper works great, but anything will do. If the base is a solid color, I like for this part to be patterned, although a complementing solid color will do. I often do use decorative scissors or paper punches on this layer. It should be cut slightly smaller than the base piece and glued on with a glue stick. You could use two different patterned pieces as well — one on the top third or half and another on the bottom.

3. The next layer is usually where a verse or quote goes. Those can be printed on the computer or with stamps or hand-written on solid-colored paper. If I am making several bookmarks at once, I’ll print several on a sheet of paper from the computer or stamp several on one page so they’re “at the ready.”

This layer should be cut slightly smaller than the decorative second layer — maybe 1/8 of an inch less or so all around. It can be cut back way more, depending on what else you might be using for a design, but be sure to leave the same margin of “white space” all around so it doesn’t look lopsided. Again, decorative scissors or paper punched can be used.

4. Add embellishments — stickers, bits of ribbon, etc. Just remember that for the main part of the bookmark you want it to lie flat, so put anything that is raised near the top so that part can stick out of the book.

If you are laminating the bookmarks, you don’t have to glue things that securely, but if not, be sure that everything is glued down really well.

Here are some examples. Most have appeared on my blog at some time, but I wanted to put them all in one spot here.

This is the one from the ladies’ luncheon. It’s very simple, all solid colors, little embellishment or decoration, mainly because we needed to make so many of the same type.

You can see what I mean here by trying to have the same “margins” all the way around — though, technically, the white part with the verse should have come down a little. The circle at the top was printed on the computer using clip art and Avery 1″ circular stickers (#5410).

Here are a few our ladies’ group made to send to our missionaries:

You can see that some use the decorative scissors and paper punches on different parts. The two in the middle have corners rounded off by a paper punch made for that purpose.

Here are a few more:

This one also has most of the corners rounded off. The little heart design across the bottom of the white paper is from a paper punch.

Some people like to put ribbons at the top that would then stick out of the book. Personally I don’t really care for ribbons sticking out of my book, and this adds an extra step in the process. But you can punch a small hole or two at the top and add a ribbon if you’d like (I’ll have to add a picture later as I am running out of time.)

These make for a fun group project, especially if everyone isn’t making the exact same type. Everyone brings their own equipment, and we all are spurred on by each other’s ideas. It is good to make more than you think you will need, as you’ll have to go through them and do a little quality control afterward.

I hope this is clear! If not, please let me know and I’ll try to clarify.

I am linking this post to Kelli’s Paper Crafting Wednesday. She’s much better at tutorials than I am!

Graduation dinner and assorted stray thoughts

Posted on May 12, 2009 by Barbara Harper

Poor Jeremy! It took all of yesterday to rectify my computer issues, but he made a disk that should shorten the process if it should ever happen again. Everything is up and running beautifully, even faster than before since, in selecting files to be backed up, we got rid of several we hadn’t used in ages.

The housework got mostly done — I’ve learned I never get everything done I’d like to before company comes, so have earned to prioritize. All of the major, regular stuff got done and we were presentable. There were just some spring-cleaning type things I would like to have gotten to, but likely no one but me knew they were needed.

The visit with out of town company went well, I think. I had mentioned being concerned about Mittu’s mom’s Indian accent since I have to really concentrate when we talk on the phone, but, as expected, it was much easier in person. It was a whirlwind weekend — I felt bad for the lack of down time to just sit and visit. But overall I think it was a good first visit. I thought, between her accent and Grandma’s hearing problems, they’d have a hard time understanding each other, but that didn’t seem to be a problem: in fact, they had a real affinity for one another.

Graduation day was very. very long, but good overall. The ceremony began at 9 a.m., so to account for being 45 minutes away, needing to get there about an hour early to be sure to get on the main floor, and getting 7 people through our one shower, I had to get up about 4:30. I had some things just sitting out for breakfast for everyone to get whatever they wanted whenever they weren’t in the shower. We got there in good time and did make the main floor — there is a balcony but no handrails on the steps and I get really wobbly up there. One little personal thing I was worried about: after the ceremony starts, if you leave the building you can’t reenter, just so there is not a lot of commotion and distraction, but you can go to another building where the overflow crowd can see the events broadcast. The thought of sitting for 2 and 1/2 hours without getting to the bathroom made me nervous, but God answers even such prayers. There were a few tummy troubles, but I think they were just from “nerves.” Believe it or not, I did stay awake the whole time! I lost focus and kind of zoned out a time or two, though.

Instead of having a graduation speaker, they have various students share a testimony while diplomas are being handed out (instead of calling each name out, they have a big screen showing each student as they receive their diploma and have their name displayed, so we did get to see them “close up” at that moment.) The testimonies are always a blessing as students share something about their college experience. I wish that people who think BJU is racist could see and hear the diverse group of graduates praising the Lord for what they’ve learned there and what He has done in their lives.

After graduation we met up with Jason, took pictures, greeted several other folks we knew, met a few of Jason’s teachers and friends as they stopped by. That’s always a fun if noisy and chaotic time.

A lot of people have some kind of drop-in party graduation afternoon or evening, but since we were too far from campus for most of the student friends to come, and there were four other graduates from church each having their own celebrations (plus a wedding that day!), we just went out to a nice restaurant for a family celebration that evening. We went to a Japanese place where they cook the food right there at your table.

Jeremy said this guy at the entrance looked like a Japanese Darth Vadar.

Grandma had never been to a restaurant like this. She was taken aback — literally! — when the flame shot up at the beginning while the cook was cleaning the grill:

Our cook was great. This was the lava onion rings:

The happy couple in life…

…and on cake…

Mittu had finished in December, but she chose not to “walk” for graduation. We wanted to honor her accomplishment as well, though.

We all attended church Sunday morning, then Mittu’s mom went home that afternoon. We decided to postpone our family Mother’s Day celebration til next week since we hadn’t really had time to do much for it, but Jim and the boys did make lunch and we had cards and little gifts for Grandma and Mittu’s mom. I had planned for Monday to be kind of a “day off.” It turned out not to be that exactly, but, still, it was really nice not to have to go anywhere! Jason and Mittu worked on creating a slide show for the wedding reception, so it was fun going through baby and childhood pictures. Then they spent hours printing off their wedding invitations and RSVP cards and stuffing envelopes. Though they’ve talked about wedding stuff for hours on the phone, it helps to discuss a lot of that kind of thing in person or with family around. I feel a lot of progress was made on that front.

Mittu goes home today, and Jason’s starts a new full time job Monday while continuing to work his part time one through the summer. I had thought the whirlwind of busyness would slow down this week, but Jesse has a piano recital and spring concert on two different nights this week. But, still, it is a lot less busy than last week.

Though usually I am a pretty sentimental person, somehow I haven’t really had those teary moments I’ve heard other moms express over a weekend like this. I think it was just too busy getting through everything! I have had “those mements” throughout the last several months, realizing this was Jason’s last Christmas at home before getting married, having him share something he wanted to do next Easter and then experiencing a pang when I said, “You won’t be here next Easter,” etc. Originally they had planned to go to CA after they got married, but since finding out they are going to be fairly nearby instead, I don’t have the feeling I am “losing” them. But I am sure between now and the wedding there will be several sentimental teary moments mixed in with the joy! For now there’s just joy.

Thank you, Lord, for such a great weekend!

Computer woes

Posted on May 11, 2009 by Barbara Harper

I was all set to post more about graduation day and our celebratory dinner last night when some strange things started popping up on my computer — some fake spyware thing added several files. I ran the virus scan and it dealt with several of them, but something is still wrong — my computer now crashes in anything but safe mode. 😦

My computet wiz son worked on it til the wee hours this morning and is now backing up files and reinstalling windows — hopefully that will work! meanwhile I am using my husband’s antique old computer, but I don’t have access to my pictures from here.

I’m so glad Jeremy’s here and knows what to do! Hope to be back in action soon!