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Book Review: The Wedding Dress

Posted on July 29, 2013 by Barbara Harper

The Wedding Dress by Rachel Hauck opens with Charlotte Malone trying to find some solitude to think and pray about her current relationship, but she finds herself at an auction instead, one that she had not realized would be taking place at the location she was visiting. As she tries to depart, her attention is arrested by an old trunk with the lock welded shut. She surprises herself by bidding on it in the first place and then bidding much more than she wanted to, but she ends up winning the bid.

Her fiance is not at all pleased that she spent so much money, but as he later helps her get the trunk open, she finds a wedding dress in it. The dress is supposedly about a hundred years old but looks new and has never been altered. Charlotte is intrigued by the dress and starts to search for the dress’s history. She is also the owner of a contemporary bridal shop and longs to find the perfect bride for this special dress.

The story moves back and forth primarily between Charlotte’s perspective and Emily’s, the first owner of the dress, as we learn more of their situations and relationships. Charlotte doesn’t find out about Emily’s life until much later, but in the process she finds two other wearers of the dress and gets to know them and their history.

It seems the dress only gets passed along to very special brides in unique ways, and each bride in this case had some need, something to learn, some way in which to grow that the dress, or rather the circumstances involving the dress, helped along.

There is a bit of fairly tale-ish supernaturalness (though the book itself is not told in the style of a fairy tale) with a mysterious man in purple who visits at least two of the brides and facilitates their acquiring the dress. Or perhaps he is supposed to be more allegorical: later in the book we’re told what the wedding dress represents (though I find the analogy of what it represents breaks down in light of Charlotte’s having paid a great sum for it, whereas what it represents is free. Although, on the other hand, Charlotte paid for the trunk, not knowing the dress was in it, so I guess the dress was indeed free in a way)…but I can’t say more without spoiling the storyline).

Overall I liked the premise, the journey of each bride, and how the story ended up.

But there were elements that just irritated me or that I found just strange (like a certain scent associated with Charlotte’s coming to Christ and certain encounters afterward). It may just be me – the reviews on Amazon are mostly good. I’ve been wrestling with myself about whether to go into them and decided to do so, but I don’t want to come across as hypercritical or sound like I am just “tearing into” the author. That’s not my tone, but I figure if these bothered me they might bother someone else, too, and that might be helpful for writers to know. 🙂 So here they are:

Sentences like, “The feathery kiss of destiny sent a shiver over her soul as the breeze rushing over the mountaintop tapped her legs.” I don’t even know how to explain why that makes me cringe.

Grown women talking baby talk to each other: “Don’t deny me my one widdle talent.” Shudder. Thankfully I think there is only that one instance.

Charlotte’s talking to the dress. “This is a TV, dress. Have you ever seen TV before?” Really?

Emily’s chastising a potential suitor one minute about his love for baseball (“Imagine, grown men running around all day in the dirt, chasing a small white ball”), then chastising him again when he tells her he has quit the game to be near her (“I can’t believe you’re quitting the game you love. I declare it makes me almost not respect you.”) I suppose that may be there to show her immaturity at that point?

“Mary Grace popped the air with her lightly-fisted hand. A don’t-you-just-know gesture.” I have no idea what a don’t-you-just-know gesture is supposed to look like. Someone popping a fisted hand in the air, I guess.

“The wind raced through the trees. Her thoughts raced through her mind.” OK. I get the picture. But how about something like, “Thoughts raced through her mind as fast as the wind raced through the trees.”

Ms. Hauck has published several successful books, whereas I have published exactly zero, so obviously she knows what she is doing and I am not speaking from the point of an expert. I’m “just your average reader” expressing an opinion. 🙂 Perhaps I was a little more sensitive with this reading, because on the day I started it I had just insisted to Carrie, who doesn’t like Christian fiction, that not all of it is poorly written. 🙂 And I would not say this is poorly written – as I said, there were just these few instances that rubbed me the wrong way.

I went back and forth listening to this book via audiobook and reading the Kindle version – both were on sale at the time for a low price, and the “Whispersync” system between Amazon and Audible allows one to pick up in one version where one left off in the other. That worked quite well. Usually an audiobook enhances a story for me, but I didn’t like this one (sorry to sound so grumpy today! You know I am not usually when talking about books.) The narration wasn’t distinct enough for me to be able to tell who was talking during the dialogues.

But, as I said, I liked the overall story. Many people have posted great reviews and loved the book, and you might, too.

(This will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

Laudable Linkage

Posted on July 27, 2013 by Barbara Harper

Here are some thought-provoking reads from the last couple of weeks:

Just Obey. Why grace-focused, gospel-centered churches and individuals don’t need to shy away from the word or the concept.

On Loneliness: A Letter to My Children. Poignant.

Ordinary Christians and a Great Commission. “So many of today’s bestselling Christian books…tell us we ought to live extraordinary lives, crazy and above-and-beyond lives. Some of these authors tacitly (or even blatantly) suggest that ordinary must be synonymous with apathetic and that all these comparative and superlative terms–this-er, that-er–are synonymous with godly. But when I look to the Bible I just don’t see it.”

Embrace Sufferer’s For the Things They Offer You rather than avoiding them in fear.

Faith in Fiction – the need for it, and for current examples of it.

Why Story Warren. “This feeling of –incredibly, out of nowhere– finding an ally in the struggle of our lives, is unforgettable. Even in a tale…How sweet it is when we discover a story, a record, a movie, or a play where our kids are seeing the very best of truth, beauty, and goodness. We see the truth we are longing for them to latch on to neither subverted, nor sanitized to death, but upheld. We feel there is someone on our side. It’s not a minefield; it’s the cavalry!” Just discovered this site yesterday and have had fun poking around. Janet, I think you’d like it.

Why I Don’t Drink.

Fruit of the Spirit Resources for Children’s Ministry, HT to Annette, who created a resource of her own as well. I’ve started studying the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians and want to look into some of these for my own information.

Looking Forward to the Reward. We can feel it is not quite right to serve God with thought of reward, but God tells us about rewards for a reason.

8 Ways to Just Keep Writing.

A Daily Dose of Faith for Writers. Love the opening quote about Jan Karon’s portrayal of Father Tim’s “everyday faith.”

And my book-loving friends will agree with this, HT to Carrie:

Hope you have a great weekend!

Friday’s Fave Five

Posted on July 26, 2013 by Barbara Harper

It seems like I say it has been a busy week every Friday, and so far it has been a busier than usual summer. But this is probably the busiest week so far. Here are some of the highlights:

1. Jason’s birthday celebrations. His birthday was Thursday, we took him and Mittu out to eat at a new-to-us Chinese place Friday and then went to their place for cake and presents, then Saturday Mittu threw him a surprise birthday party with friends at our house. Each event was much fun!

2. A good session with the doctor. I had my yearly physical Monday and was able to discuss some concerns that, for whatever reason, I hadn’t wanted to bring up before, but we were able to have a good discussion and he gave me some practical solutions.

3. A friend indeed. A friend at church who has taken a special interest in Grandma, always greeted her at church, and has visited her on occasion, was asking me about her on Sunday. She hadn’t heard that we were planning to bring her home, and as I was telling her about it and admitted I was struggling a bit with having my peaceful solitude at home “invaded,” I got unexpectedly emotional. She didn’t judge, just hugged and understood and said…I don’t even remember what, but it helped. 🙂

4. A word in due season. Either the morning we were to bring her home or the morning before, I was seriously wrestling with how I’d be able to handle it, and God gave me just exactly what I needed in my morning devotions and gave me a calmness of heart.

5. A smooth transition for Grandma. We moved her home Wednesday, and she seems to be doing well so far. Change, even positive change, can be hard, especially at her age and situation, but she seems happy and peaceful, and she’s very patient with our bumbling attempts at her care. The home health aide has been great with her and we all seem to connect well. The nursing home gave referrals for a physical therapist, a home nurse to visit a couple of days a week (they came yesterday), a speech therapist, and an occupational therapist (still to meet them). I was very glad – otherwise we, or at least I, would have felt set adrift after leaving the nursing home. We have been very pleased with all of them so far. Health care workers who are compassionate, caring, and competent are worth their weight in gold.

I’m understandably behind with reading and commenting on blogs, but I hope to catch up this weekend, when some of the extra therapists and such won’t be here and it will be a fairly regular day – at least as far as I can foresee just now. 🙂

Friday’s Fave Five is hosted by Susanne at Living to Tell the Story, who invites us to share five of our favorite things from the last week. It’s a wonderful exercise in looking for and appreciating the good things God blesses us with. Click on the button to learn more, then go to Susanne’s to read others’ faves and link up your own.

What’s On Your Nightstand: July 2013

Posted on July 23, 2013 by Barbara Harper

The folks at 5 Minutes For Books host What’s On Your Nightstand? the fourth Tuesday of each month in which we can share about the books we have been reading and/or plan to read.

Wow, it’s been another super busy month. Here’s what I’ve been reading and plan to read next.

Since last time I’ve finished:

Through Gates of Splendor, by Elizabeth Elliot, a missionary classic about the lives and deaths of Jim Elliot, Nate Saint, and their three friends who tried to reach a savage tribe in Ecuador, for Carrie’s Reading to Know Book Club for June, reviewed here.

The Hidden Art of Homemaking by Edith Schaeffer along with Cindy at Ordo Amoris who is hosting a read-along book club where we discuss a chapter at a time. My discussions are here.

The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place, Book II: The Hidden Gallery by Maryrose Wood, reviewed here, another fun one.

The Magician’s Nephew by C. S. Lewis for Carrie‘s Chronicles of Narnia Reading Challenge, reviewed here.

Light From Heaven by Jan Karon, last of the Mitford series, via audiobook. I summed up all the Mitford books here.

I’m currently reading:

The Last Battle by C. S. Lewis for Carrie‘s Chronicles of Narnia Reading Challenge

The Fruitful Wife by Hayley DiMarco.

The Wedding Dress by Rachel Hauck.

Next up:

Invisible by Ginny Yttrup.

On Distant Shores, hot off the press by Sarah Sundin.

Gulp: Adventures on the Alimentary Canal by Mary Roach.

Daniel Deronda, by George Eliot for Carrie’s Reading to Know Book Club for August.

If I should finish those, I have others lined up and just have to decide which to delve into. 🙂

What’s on your nightstand?

The Hidden Art of Homemaking Book Club: Chapter 14; Environment

Posted on July 22, 2013 by Barbara Harper

(Graphics courtesy of Julia Bettencourt)

We’re discussing The Hidden Art of Homemaking by Edith Schaeffer a chapter at a time at The Hidden Art of Homemaking Book Club hosted by Cindy at Ordo Amoris.

The last chapter of the book is “Environment,” and I wasn’t sure what to expect from it at first. Edith had promoted involvement in nature and decried the “plasticness” of her era earlier in the book, so I assumed this chapter would be along those lines. But I suppose that would have been a bit redundant since she had already discussed those things, and I was delighted to find she was referring instead to the environment each of us creates through our personalities, outlook, etc., as well as how we keep and decorate our homes. Perhaps some would understand this better as an aura, though not in the New Age sense of the word.

I marked many long paragraphs in the book that would be too much to reproduce here, so let me see if I can pick out a few of the key thoughts.

We produce an environment other people have to live in. We should be conscious of the fact that this environment which we produce by our very ‘being’ can affect the people who live with us or work with us. The effect on them is something they cannot avoid. We should have thoughtfulness concerning our responsibility in this area. We should be artists in doing something about the environment we are creating – artists before God, of course. We have His help because we are artists in this sense, in the hands of the Holy Spirit; for if we are Christians, He is dwelling in us, and we can ask for His power to help us.

Here in this life, a Christian should be an environment which is helpful to the people with whom he lives. This is not just a matter of dress and tidiness but also of character and spiritual life. It is worth considering what sort of an “art form” we are. What sort of an environment do we drag in with us? How do we affect other people in their attitudes toward that which we are supposed to represent? (p. 212).

“We are either being what the Holy Spirit would have us be, or we are hindering His work in us and through us. As God created the world, He was creating an environment for man which, we are told, was ‘good.’…It was a good environment before sin entered to spoil it. But Christians, who are restored to relationship and fellowship with God, should ask that they might be an environment that is conducive to others wanting to come to God (p. 212).

I am sure that there is no place in the world where your message would not be enhanced by your making the place (whether tiny or large, a hut or a palace) orderly, artistic and beautiful with some form of creativity, some form of ‘art’ (p. 213).

I was just thinking today, not for the first time, that I get frustrated at sentimental prose which seems to indicate that one can either have a clean house or spend quality time with kids, and of course the more godly person chooses time with kids. But does it have to be either/or? Sure, there are times we get too task-oriented and have to remind ourselves that people are more important than to-do lists. But I think one of the best ways to avoid this dichotomy to to integrate fun and family time into work. I appreciate that in the Little House on the Prairie series, and though I’m not a big proponent of Amish culture, I do like that both in the home and the community people pitch in together to work. In that way children learn the satisfaction of seeing a job well done, learning new skills as they grow up, and fellowshipping with others at the same time. My mother-in-law was a great example of this: until she started to decline, she always had a cheerful industriousness about her, and I appreciate that that rubbed off on her youngest son. I’m afraid I let my own negative attitude about work rub off on my children, but on the other hand I think they do have pleasant memories of working on projects with their dad in particular.

One of Edith’s examples in the book is that of roommates and how the slovenly habits of one affect first the mood and then the motivation of the other. As Edith said in some of the quotes above, our “environment” can either lift someone up or drag them down.

It goes without saying, too, that ‘The Environment’, which is you should be an environment which speaks of the wonder of the Creator who made you (p. 213).

I want to thank Cindy for hosting this book club. I gleaned much, much more out of the book by just reading a chapter a week, writing up thoughts about it, seeing what others had to say and pondering sometimes different perspectives or emphases, and then thinking about it all through the week before the next chapter, than I would have just plowing through on my own. I am thinking that this extended working through a non-fiction book is a much better way or retaining what I read.

This has been at least my second time through the book – I may have read it more times than that, but I can’t remember. I’ve enjoyed going back over it once again.

Book Review: The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place, Book 2: The Hidden Gallery

Posted on July 20, 2013 by Barbara Harper

After I listened to Book 1 in The Incorrigible Children series, The Mysterious Howling (linked to my thoughts), I had to get the audiobook for Book 2: The Hidden Gallery. The children are not called incorrigible because they are disobedient, but their benefactor, Lord Ashton, has given them that name after he found them in the woods, deduced they had been raised by wolves, and brought them home. His wife was less than pleased, but hired a star graduate from Swanburne Academy for Poor Bright Females, Penelope Lumley, age fifteen, to be their governess in the first book. Miss Lumley genuinely cares about the children and has brought them a long way, though they still have some howling inclinations and the tendency to drool at the sight of small birds.

The Hidden Gallery opens with workmen repairing the damage caused by the mayhem in Book 1. The noise and bother causes Lady Ashton to take the whole family to London while the work is being done. Penelope enjoys taking the children to see the sites, but they do have some mishaps, such as when the children mistake the furry hat of a stoic guard at Buckingham Palace for a bear.

The also have an odd encounter with a gypsy soothsayer with a mysterious prognostication and meet a new friend in young Mr. Simon Harley-Dickinson (he of the “perfectly nice young face, waves of brown hair, finely formed features, gleam of genius,” p. 154), and Penelope receives some strange warnings and instructions from her former teacher and mentor, Miss Mortimer.

Some mysteries just hinted at in the first book are expanded upon a bit here, such as the similarity in color between Penelope’s hair and the children’s, Lord Ashton’s somewhat wolfish behavior and absences during full moons, and the mural in the attic whose likeness appears in an art gallery, but we don’t seem to be close to finding answers for them nor the questions of what happened to the children’s parents nor Miss Lumley’s. I don’t know what the long term plans are for this series – I know Book 3 is out and Book 4 is due in December – but I’d rather have a short, really good series than have some of these questions dragged on for 8 or 10 books. But if the rest of the books are as fun as the first two, I don’t suppose people will complain too much, and it will be an enjoyable ride.

There are more pithy sayings from Swanburne Academy for Poor Bright Females’ founder, Agatha Swanburne, sprinkled throughout the book (such as “She who waits for the perfect moment to act will never make a turn at a busy intersection”) and apt descriptions (“If you have ever ridden on a tire swing after turning the rope ’round and ’round until it was twisted from top to bottom, you will have some idea of the wild, spinning, escalating whirl of Lady Contstance’s distress,” p. 5). Author Maryrose Wood also offers some amusing asides of instructions to her younger readers, such as the difference between high dudgeon and dungeon, or the meaning of some French phrases, and then refers back to these throughout the book.

Katherine Kellgren did another wonderful job narrating, and I enjoyed the book so much more by hearing her intonations. I did check the book out of the library as well to refer back to passages I heard in the audiobook.

The only real objectionable element was the soothsayer. She’s not a major character, but she appears three times in the book and speaks of a curse on the children. If I were reading this to children I’d feel the need to expound against soothsaying and fortune-telling.

With that caveat, I can recommend this as another fun, clever, witty, enjoyable book from Maryrose Wood.

(This will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

Friday’s Fave Five

Posted on July 19, 2013 by Barbara Harper

Another busy week has passed – I’m going to need a break from summer break. 🙂 But I appreciate having the opportunity each Friday to stop and think about the best parts of the week. Without Friday’s Fave Five I might let those blessings sail by without as much thought and thanks as they should generate, and I might forget to look for them in the weeks that are more problematic or heavy. Thanks once again, Susanne, for hosting this!

So here are some of the highlights from this week:

1. Mexican food. We hadn’t had any in a while – out, that is. There are a few dishes I make, but chimichangas aren’t one of my specialties, and that’s what I love to get when we eat at a Mexican food place.

2. My favorite All Meat pizza. There is a little local pizza place that Jesse and I love but my husband doesn’t care for. One night when Jim had an evening meeting, Jesse and I got a pizza from this place. Always nice to have a night “off” from cooking, especially unexpectedly on a week day, and this is one of my favorite things to have on that occasion.

3. Picking up my latest stitching project again. I had laid it aside….oh, I think maybe during Christmastime, and it has been such a busy year since that I just haven’t been inclined to get back into it. But for some reason I was inspired to this week, and once I get going I feel driven to keep at it. Here’s what I have so far:

4. A successful outreach cookout. Our church has been breaking up into small groups on Sunday nights to go through Tim Keller’s Gospel in Life series. Part of the emphasis is that the gospel isn’t just for salvation, but it is supposed to affect every area of life, and part of the emphasis is on community. The cookout was partly for members to get to know each other better but mainly for an opportunity to invite visitors. Rain was forecasted but thankfully did not appear, and the lake view next to the pavilion where we were was beautiful. There was a good ratio of visitors to church folks: if everyone had brought visitors, we each would likely have been taken up with our own visitors, without as much opportunity to interact with each other. As it turned out we sat across from a couple who were neighbors of one of our group and had a thoroughly enjoyable time chatting. I have to admit as an introvert that this kind of thing is intimidating to me, and I was feeling overwhelmed when I first came and saw a lot of people, in particular a lot of people I didn’t know (our “small” group is one of the biggest), but thankfully God gave grace and it went very well.

5. Your warm and thoughtful comments on my post about bringing Grandma home.

Stay tuned over the next couple of weeks for a giveaway to celebrate my 3,000th post and upcoming 7th blog anniversary. I’m not sure what I will do for it yet, but I’m pondering!

My 3,000th post!

Posted on July 19, 2013 by Barbara Harper

It seems that my 3,000th post should call forth something witty or wise or philosophical…unfortunately it is a busy day and nothing along those lines is coming to mind. 🙂

But I do plan on some kind of giveaway later this month to commemorate my 3,000th post as well as my 7th blogging anniversary coming up at the end of July. As soon as I decide what to do for that, I’ll let you know.

Meanwhile, thanks for being there. I write sometimes just to express myself or to work things out in my own mind or to pass along something the Lord’s taught me, and it’s a wonderful blessing when one of those things connects with some of you. I appreciate the blogging friends I’ve made!

Happy Birthday to Jason!

Image

Jason’s first birthday

Jason’s birthday last year

Hope you have a wonderful day!

We love you!

Bringing Grandma Home

Posted on July 17, 2013 by Barbara Harper

I mentioned briefly recently that we decided to bring Jim’s mom home to our house.

Years ago when it became clear that she could no longer live on her own, we evaluated the situation and chose an assisted living facility for her. She has been in three different assisted living facilities since then (we moved once and her declining health necessitated the other moves. I’ve been thinking of writing a post about assisted living experiences: my main conclusion is that they are ok if you don’t need that much assistance), and she has been in a nursing home since February.

A number of factors went into deciding to bring her home, but the main ones were that my husband would like to spend as much time as possible with her in the time she has left, he feels she’d rather spend her last days at home rather than in a facility, and we feel she’d receive better care with one caregiver focused on her rather than an assortment with many others to care for.

There have been some excellent aides in each facility she has been in, and some of the best have been in the nursing home, ironic since that is the one we were most reluctant about. But in a sense these facilities are only as good as their weakest employee. If we could request that only this and that person be her caregivers, that would be great, but that’s not possible.

The biggest issue has been in regard to eating. Ever since her hospitalization earlier this year, she has had trouble swallowing and has been on a pureed diet. That didn’t do much to increase her appetite at first, but once she got used to it she seemed to do fairly well. But as she has seemed to be continually losing strength over the last few years, even just eating requires more energy than she can muster sometimes. It has seemed to work best to give her a bite or two, give her something to drink, let her rest for a bit, then give her another bite or two, etc. We got a call a few weeks ago saying she had lost weight and they wanted to talk about feeding tubes. We had researched feeding tubes earlier in the year and felt that if she could not swallow, that was one thing, but we felt that this was more a matter of taking time with her meals (hard to do when there are others waiting to be fed), and interacting with her during feeding. My husband has walked in some times during meal time when the aide has been watching TV and not talking to or looking at his mom at all except to spoon food in. Jim asked that they turn the TV off during meal times, make sure her hearing aid is in, and interact with her during meals. Most of them have done that, and her weight has picked up again.

But we’ve felt that her eating and her general care will improve at home with more individual focus. When Jim was there a few nights ago, she was in pain, and he asked the nurse at the desk for pain medication for her. He waited in his mom’s doorway about ten minutes while the nurses chatted and laughed together, and when he saw the nursing supervisor and started to approach her, then the nurses scurried around and brought Mom’s medicine. We know they can’t drop everything and come running for every request, but when someone is in obvious pain and asking for medicine (and she has never been “the squeaky wheel” – she’s not one who rings her bell and asks for things all the time. In fact, I doubt that she has ever rung for anyone), it seems like one could forgo chatting and laughing with a friend for a few minutes to attend to that need.

We will have home health care aides come in about 8 hours a day at first, and then as we get adjusted to her needs and routine, we’ll probably cut back on the time we have them here. We will likely always call them for her bathing: just for her safety we want someone who knows what they’re doing, and neither of us feels confident about being able to bathe someone who is losing more and more muscular ability, can’t sit up on her own, etc. On the other hand, she sleeps most of the time, and we don’t want to pay someone to just sit with her while she sleeps, so we may get to a point of just having them come in to help her with her morning routine.

Honestly, I am ~~a little~~ uncomfortable about having non-family members in the house for long periods, so I think as soon as we can find the best balance for having aides here as long as needed but no longer, the better it will be. I’m also a little antsy about pureeing foods to the right level of consistency in a way that will be appetizing for her, but I’ve been researching it and plan to talk with the speech therapist at the nursing home, so I think that will be ok once we get started.

With the Medicare and nursing home regulations, if we find it is just impossible to care for her at home, we could have her readmitted within 30 days (normally you can’t be admitted unless you’ve had a stay of at least three days in the hospital), but we both don’t want to even try this if we don’t think it will work. It’s traumatic for her to be moved at this stage (and that’s something else we discussed about moving her here, but we feel she’ll settle in fine with us to be here with her more), so we certainly don’t want to move her here and then back within 30 days.

We’re planning to bring her home next week. The social worker at the nursing home has been great about lining up a hospital bed rental, a Hoyer lift, and getting us in touch with the home health care aides, etc.

I don’t know what this will mean for blogging, either my own or visiting others. Obviously that will have to take a back seat. It may not be impacted at all, as she does sleep a great deal, but if I’m scarce for a while, you’ll know where I am . 🙂 I so appreciate your interest in and concern for our family, and appreciate your prayers for this new stage of life.