Category Archives: Christian Life

Resurrection Hope Beyond Easter

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We think of Easter as the joyful end of a long period of sadness. Even if we don’t formally practice Lent, we spend the time leading up to Easter contemplating the last week of Jesus’s life, His trial, and His crucifixion. We mourn over our sinfulness, which required such a price for atonement.

But then we burst forth into joy and praise on Easter Day. Christ is risen! He overcame death and the grave!

And then Monday we go back to our normal routine. We don’t think much about the resurrection again until next Easter or until someone dies. Then we’re encouraged that we’ll see our missing loved ones again.

But the resurrection changed everything. It touches our lives much more than one day a year.

Here are some ways resurrection hope affects our lives:

Testifies that Jesus is the Son of God. Jesus “was declared to be the Son of God in power according to the Spirit of holiness by his resurrection from the dead” (Romans 1:4).

Dismantles our fear of death. Hebrews 2:14-15 tells us, “Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery.”

In Isobel Kuhn’s books, she cites that many Lisu people came to faith in Christ due to the resurrection. Their previous beliefs held no hope after the grave. They thought death was the end of the body, soul, and spirit. Some mourned inconsolably at a loved one’s grave or cowered in abject terror at the thought of their own end. Learning who Jesus was, the salvation He accomplished for their forgiveness, and the hope of eternal life transformed them.

Jesus told Martha, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” (John 11:25).

Allows Christ to live in us. Paul said part of the ministry given to him was to preach “the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory” (Colossians 1:27). We not only have His fellowship, comfort, and so much more, we have His power to live. “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Galatians 2:20).

Assures justice will be done. When the King comes to reign, everything will be as it should be.

Removes death’s sting. 1 Corinthians 15:54-57 says:

When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written:

“Death is swallowed up in victory.”
“O death, where is your victory?
    O death, where is your sting?”

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Jesus’ death breaks the power of sin in our lives. We still have to fight the old nature and resist the devil, but they have no more authority over us.

Gives meaning to our labor. 1 Corinthians 15 is the great “resurrection chapter.” After 57 verses about the resurrection, Paul says, “Therefore, my beloved brothers“—because of all he had said about the resurrection up til now—“be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.” We can be steady in our labor for God, even if we don’t see any results. Galatians 6:9 puts it another way: “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”

Gives comfort and hope in our sorrow. Our grief when a loved one dies is tempered by the fact that we’ll see them again.

But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. Therefore encourage one another with these words (1 Thessalonians 4:13-18).

We still grieve and miss them sorely, but we have great joy to look forward to.

Gives perspective to our sufferings. When we’re suffering, our pain can take over our minds and emotions. Suffering seems endless. It outweighs everything else. But as heavy as suffering is, in heaven, our time of suffering will seem “light” and “momentary.” “So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison” (2 Corinthians 4:16-17). Romans 8:18 puts it this way: “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”

Provides a new address. Philippians 3:20 tells us, “But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.” Warren Wiersbe says in his commentary on Philippians, Be Joyful, “We look at earth from heaven’s point of view” (p. 95). Our time here is relatively brief, and eternity is long.

Promises reward for our service. The Bible speaks of crowns that will be rewarded to various believers. Jesus said that when we have a feast, we should not only invite friends and loved ones. We should gather in those who can’t repay us, “and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the just” (Luke 14:14).

Shows forth God’s power. One of the things Paul prays that the Ephesians might know is “the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 1:19-20). Paul’s burning desire was “that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead” (Philippians 3:10-11).

Gives focus for our daily walk. 1 Corinthians 4:18 says, “as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” Paul says, “But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13-14).

Because of the resurrection, we know this life is not all there is. “If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory” (Colossians 3:1-4). One of our former pastors used to frequently quote from a little chorus by Al Smith, “May I do each day’s work for Jesus, With eternity’s values in view.”

I love this stanza in “I’ve Found a Friend” by James G. Small:

I’ve found a friend, O such a friend!
All power to Him is given,
To guard me on my onward course,
And bring me safe to Heaven.
The eternal glories gleam afar,
To nerve my faint endeavor;
So now to watch, to work, to war,
And then to rest forever.

May the “eternal glories” that “gleam afar” nerve our own “faint endeavors.” May we carry resurrection hope in our hearts every day.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Applying God’s Word

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The Bible tells us to be doers of the Word, not just hearers (James 1:22, Matthew 7:21, Luke 6:46, Romans 2:13).

But sometimes it’s hard to know what we’re supposed to do with some parts of the Bible.

Some verses are easy to understand how to put into practice. For instance, Ephesians 4:28 says, “Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need.” The thief needs to stop stealing, obviously. But the instruction doesn’t stop with a “don’t.” It continues with a “do” to replace the “don’t”: work hard and give to others who have a need.

But what do we do with passages that don’t explicitly contain instructions about what to do or not do?

I read somewhere about a man who, after reading the creation account in Genesis 1 and 2, felt that in response he needed to clean out his garage. Well, yes, God is orderly, and to some extent He wants us to be orderly as well. But I’m not sure that’s what the creation account is in the Bible to tell us.

Here are a few tips I’ve found helpful to understand how to apply Scripture.

Pray. We need God’s wisdom to know how to put His Word into practice.

Observe and interpret first. Observation, interpretation, and application are the three sides of Bible study. If we’re off on the first two, we’ll be off on the third.

Part of observation is seeing who said what to whom in the passage. Sometimes a command or promise is given to one person or group of people in the Bible, but they are not meant for all people or all time. However, God included those passages for a reason and there’s something He wants us to learn from them.

For instance, the Old Testament law in the first five books of the Bible was given partly to express God’s holiness and partly to show people that they could never earn righteousness by keeping it, because no one could keep it completely. New Testament writers take pains to explain that Jesus fulfilled all the law in our place and we’re not under it any more. But we learn about the cost and pervasiveness of sin in Leviticus and see symbols of Christ in the sacrifices (I wrote more about what we can get out of Leviticus in Where Bible Reading Plans Go to Die.)

Study the context. Mark 14 tells of a woman who broke open an expensive alabaster box and poured the costly perfume on Jesus. I read an article years ago where the writer compared the alabaster box to a girl’s virginity, something rare and precious that she could only give once. While I appreciated the parallel the author was trying to make, she completely missed the point of the passage. Instead, she made the passage mean something it didn’t mean. This demonstration was an outpouring of the woman’s love and a foreshadowing of Jesus’ death and burial. Jesus Himself said she had “done what she could; she has anointed my body beforehand for burial” (14:8). Imagine the girls who read that article associating it with virginity for the rest of their lives and missing the extravagant love of this woman as well as the reference to Jesus’ death.

Prescriptive or descriptive? Part of interpreting the Bible (which I wrote more about here) is determining whether the passage is describing something we should emulate. Just because the Bible records people doing things in Scripture doesn’t mean it’s approving what they do or saying we should follow their example. Some of the historical passages are descriptive: they just tell us what people did. We can still make observations, but the passage isn’t there to give us an example to follow.

A prescriptive passage, though, is one that “prescribes” a certain behavior. Much of Proverbs and the epistles are prescriptive, though prescriptive passages are throughout Scripture.

I’ve seen people use Abraham’s example of looking for a wife for his son, Isaac, to say that we should promote courtship rather than dating among young people. Some said that fathers should choose spouses for their adult children, or at least be heavily involved in the process. The courtship vs. dating debate has been a hot topic that I don’t want to get into any more here; I just wanted to say that this passage in particular doesn’t teach it. We can learn from it the necessity to be careful and prayerful in finding a spouse, to look for one of the same faith, to trust God and seek His direction. But nowhere in the Bible are we told to find spouses for our children in the same way Abraham did.

Find principles to draw on. A former pastor once read an OT passage about oxen to the congregation. Then he asked, “Do any of you own oxen?” No one did. He asked, “How many of you have ever even seen an ox?” A couple of people raised their hands. The pastor said, “So this doesn’t apply to us. We just turn the page and move on, right?” We didn’t think so, and he agreed. Then he brought out several principles from the passage. An ox who accidentally gored someone was handled one way. But if the ox was known to be cantankerous and try to gore people, and the owner didn’t take any means to keep the animal penned in, the owner was more liable if the animal hurt someone. We can see the parallel with dogs prone to bite. If someone saw their neighbor’s ox wandering far from home, he wasn’t supposed to ignore it. He was supposed to help his neighbor.

Romans 14 lists several principles involving meat offered to idols. Some of the early Christians felt that meat was okay to eat, because the idol is a false god and the sacrifice didn’t taint the meat. Others felt it was wrong to eat that kind of meat because of the association with idol worship. Even though we don’t deal with this issue in most of the world today, several issues apply to actions like this where the Bible doesn’t give any clear teaching: do whatever you do as unto the Lord; be fully convinced in your own mind; don’t judge the brother who handles the meat differently than you would; don’t do anything that would cause another to stumble.

Some responses are inward. One source I read years ago said that we should end every time of Bible reading with an action item, a plan to put into practice what we read.

To be sure, if we’re convicted from the passage we’re reading that we need to confess something to the Lord or apologize to someone, we need to act as soon as possible.

But some parts of Scripture are there to promote wonder, awe, and worship of God and faith in His ability and power and wisdom. Those passages will affect our actions, but they’re concerned with the condition of our hearts.

And some passages can’t be obeyed just by checking off an action item. Say, for instance, we read the passage about loving our neighbor. We think about our literal next-door-neighbor, an elderly widow living alone. We decide next time we have the mower out, we’ll cut her grass as well as ours. And maybe we’ll make some banana bread and take a loaf over to her. And we brush our hands and think, “There! I’ve loved my neighbor.”

But did God put that command in Scripture to inspire random acts of kindness to check off our to-do list? Yes, love will manifest itself in thoughtfulness and actions. But love is more than an action item. It’s an attitude of heart to carry with us all the time. Like when another neighbor’s backyard party is too loud and long. Or when he keeps borrowing your tools and returns them broken and dirty, if he returns them at all. Or when a neighbor child rings the doorbell just after you finally got the baby to sleep. Passages like the one about the Good Samaritan teach us that our neighbors are not just the friendly ones and that ministering to others can be inconvenient and costly. But what a picture of Christ, who sacrificed Himself for us while we were yet sinners.

Much more could be said about applying Scripture. But one last point I want to make is that the more we read the whole Bible, the more we’ll understand it and know how to apply it.

What tips have you found to help you put Bible teaching into practice?

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

We Need Time Alone with God

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In a recent magazine article, a Christian college professor expressed concern that his students weren’t Biblically literate even though they read their Bibles every day and even had parts of it memorized. His solution was that people should shift away from private, personal time in the Bible to communal times.

I don’t want to dissect and discuss the article here. However, I wanted to focus on the concept of communal vs. private times in God’s Word.

Do we need time together in the Bible? Yes. Reading and studying the Bible with others helps us get more out of the passage, encourages us, and (hopefully) keeps us from going off on tangents due to misinterpretation.

But I’m concerned that, in the battle against individualism and people pulling away from church attendance, we might go too far the other way and de-emphasize our personal walk with God.

God is the heavenly Father of all those who believe in Him. But we don’t relate to Him only as a group. Wise human fathers spend time with the family all together but also with individual members one-on-one. Our Father in heaven is even wiser. Though He created us to interact with and encourage each other, He also has a personal relationship with each of His children. And relationships thrive on communication.

When I was in college, we were sometimes reminded a Christian university was one of the easiest places to grow cold in our walk with God. Even though we heard the Word of God regularly in classes, in chapel, and in prayer groups, we couldn’t just coast on the spiritual atmosphere. We shouldn’t let Bible classes take the place of our personal time in Scripture.

Our time with others informs our personal time with God. And our time alone in His Word informs our time all together.

The psalms were sung in the congregation. Yet they are full of personal singular pronouns.

I sought the LORD, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears (Psalm 34:4).

He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. (Psalm 40:2).

O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water (Psalm 63:1).

My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night; for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me (Psalm 63:5-8).

As much as we need each other, sometimes we have to stand alone with God.

David “encouraged himself in the Lord” (1 Samuel 30:6) when the men of Israel were ready to stone him.

Joseph spent years as the only apparent believer in the one true God that he knew when he was a slave in Egypt. His witness did seem to spread to others. But he had to remind himself of God’s truth on his own.

Two turning-point meetings with God in Jacob’s life happened when he was alone.

Daniel had friends of the same faith, but he faced the lion’s den alone, received visions alone, and prayed alone.

Paul ministered with companions but sometimes was alone.

Jesus dealt with crowds of people yet sought His Father alone.

We’ll each give account of ourselves personally to God. “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil” (2 Corinthians 5:10).

If we’re reading the Bible regularly and still don’t know much about it, there are ways to improve. Jen Wilkin’s book, Women of the Word, was written for just that reason. I’m trying to write a book on the same topic. There are aids all over the Internet to improve our devotional time, or quiet time, or time in God’s Word. I’ve written about several aspects here.

But let’s keep things in balance. Meet with other believers to read and study God’s Word. But meet with Him alone as well.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Is It Wrong to Read Romance Novels?

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Recently I visited an old Christian message board that I used to frequent to see if it was still active. I came across a conversation where someone asked if reading romance novels was wrong. The only respondents were men. One said he thought they weren’t wrong, but they were a silly waste of time. Another said he thought they could be wrong.

I didn’t want to take the time to find my log-in information and wasn’t inclined to get into the discussion anyway. But I thought about the question for a few days.

So, do I think it’s wrong to read a romance novel?

It depends.

“Romance” covers a wide territory. Many books outside of the romance genre will contain a love interest. But in a romance, the main point of the plot is two people coming to realize and declare their love for each other.

Is there anything wrong with that as a basic plot? No. The Bible contains romances (Song of Solomon, Ruth and Boaz, Jacob and Rachel). Ephesians 5 tells us marriage is a picture of Christ and the church.

When I’m getting to know a couple, one of the first things I want to know is how they met. That usually leads into a longer story of how they knew they were right for each other. It’s always neat to see the Lord’s hand in bringing them together.

But that’s real life. Isn’t a fictional romance a waste of time?

No, a story isn’t a waste just because it’s imaginary. Jesus used fictional stories to make a point. So did OT prophets.

Fiction fleshes out truth. When I’m listening to a sermon, I might get the pastor’s point but wonder what it looks like in real life. Then he shares a sermon illustration so I see the truth in action.

Randy Alcorn said, “Some Christians view fiction as the opposite of truth. But sometimes it opens eyes to the truth more effectively than nonfiction.”

We read fiction for a number of reasons: to see life through another’s eyes, to get to know how other people think, to develop empathy, to experience other cultures, to stimulate thinking, to learn discernment, gain information, to broaden our horizons.

Can we do all that with romances? Sure.

Some of the classics are romances: Romeo and Juliet, Jane Eyre, Wuthering Heights, all of Jane Austen’s novels.

But the best romances have something going on besides falling in love. One or both characters will need to grow or overcome something. In Pride and Prejudice, for example, the two main characters need to get past their titular characteristics before they can come together. In Sense and Sensibility, one sister needs to learn the value of restraint and appreciating more about a potential husband than good looks, charm, and excitement. All of Austen’s romances involve a whole lot more than just the love story. They are commentary on the times and culture in the setting as well.

The same things can happen in a modern romance.

So how can romances be wrong?

When they produce longings that can’t be fulfilled now. If you’re struggling with being single, a romance might encourage you that God could do the same for you. Or it might discourage you because He hasn’t done so yet. If you’re in a long engagement before you can be married, you’ll have discern whether reading romances makes waiting harder for you.

When they focus too much on the physical. I avoid most modern secular fiction, especially romances, for this reason. I only pick one up after carefully researching reviews or receiving a good report from a trusted friend. But even Christian romances can go too far here. And even if a romance avoids bedroom scenes, there can be an overemphasis on her seeing his bulging muscles under his shirt, wondering what it would be like to kiss him, feeling an electric jolt when they accidentally touch. Do such things happen when people are becoming attracted to each other? Sure. But in real life or fiction, the physical shouldn’t be the main thing.

When they make you discontent with everyday life. Lisa-Jo Baker shared in The Middle Matters that a teenager quoted in the Huffington Post felt her love life would never be adequate “until someone runs through an airport to stop me from getting on a flight.” The girl probably saw that in a movie somewhere. Her romantic life is going to be difficult if she sets up a test scenario in an airport every time she thinks she’s in love. Real love is usually shown in everyday ways more than the grand gesture.

When you long for a perfect “Mr Right.” There is no perfect Mr. or Mrs. Right. The best writers write flawed, realistic characters. But sometimes a character can seem so exquisitely attractive that no one in real life could measure up. If you find yourself looking down on your husband (or potential husband, if you’re not yet married) because he falls short of a fictional hero, it might be time to lay aside the book.

I sometimes see romance writers talking about writing swoon-worthy characters, especially male characters. A character having admirable qualities is one thing. But I don’t want to swoon for anyone other than my husband.

Personally, romances aren’t my favorite genre. I read some. But I don’t want the story to stop with a wedding and a promise of happily ever after. To me, the wedding is a beginning, not an ending. I prefer women’s fiction or historical fiction, where there is more going on than an initial romance, though there may be romance in the story.

But thankfully, there are romances that are good stories, where the characters grow and learn, where we learn about the culture or setting of the book, where we can connect with human growth and experience.

“It is only a novel… or, in short, only some work in which the greatest powers of the mind are displayed, in which the most thorough knowledge of human nature, the happiest delineation of its varieties, the liveliest effusions of wit and humour, are conveyed to the world in the best-chosen language” ― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

The Power of God’s Word

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When I was in college, the “Iron Curtain” separated the extended Soviet Union from the rest of the world. One campus group I participated in prayed regularly for Christians who had been arrested for their faith in eastern European countries under the rule of communism. Georgi Vins was one of the prisoners we prayed for, and it was a thrill when he was released.

One occasional guest speaker in chapel was an evangelist who made clandestine trips into the Soviet Union to encourage the Christians there. He may have smuggled Bibles and Christian literature in—I don’t remember. It’s probably a good thing that I can’t remember his name.

Once he told of a particular couple in one underground church. The wife was a Christian. The husband was not, but went with his wife to church meetings even though he was deathly afraid of being arrested.

The church didn’t have enough Bibles for everyone. It would have been too conspicuous for people to have Bibles in their homes, anyway. So when the church met in the woods, the leaders would tear out pieces of a Bible and hand the scraps to the congregants.

This particular man got a piece of Scripture that read, in part, “The Lord said to Jeremiah . . . ” Frustrated, the man thought, “Jeremiah? Who is this Jeremiah? Who has even heard of him?”

After a while, though, the man was encouraged. “If God can speak to this Jeremiah, who no one has even heard of, then God sees me and can speak to me, too.” This was the first step that led to the man becoming a believer in the one true God.

Such is the power of the Word of God that He can use even an obscure phrase of it to draw someone to Himself.

God’s Word is so powerful, He made everything in the world, except people, just by speaking. Over and over in Genesis 1, God said, “Let there be. . . ,” and there was. “By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible” (Hebrews 11:3).

Jesus “is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power (Hebrews 1:3).

Jesus healed, stilled a storm, cast out demons, and raised the dead all by His words.

Jesus resisted Satan with Scripture (Matthew 4:1-11). Ephesians 6:16-17 says the Word of God is our spiritual sword. As Luther wrote in “A Mighty Fortress Is Our God”:

The prince of darkness grim,
we tremble not for him;
his rage we can endure,
for lo! his doom is sure;
one little word shall fell him.

Jesus is the Living Word. The Holy Spirit breathed out God’s Word through the people He used to give us the written Word in Scripture.

God’s Word is so powerful that people who sought to disprove it, like Lee Strobel and Viggo Olsen, were instead converted by it.

God’s Word is powerful to convict of sin. When Peter preached it, men were “cut to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, ‘Brothers, what shall we do?'” (Acts 2:37).

“For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God” (1 Corinthians 1:18).

“For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek” (Romans 1:18).

God’s power, though His Word, enables us to live for Him. “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire” (2 Peter 1:3-4).

God’s Word is so powerful, we can lean the weight of our entire soul upon it. It’s not a magic wand: it doesn’t promise healing or prayers answered just the way we want. But it promises God’s wisdom and grace. When it says we can be saved by trusting Jesus, we can. When it says He will meet our needs, He will.

God’s Word is so powerful, we can use it even when people say they don’t believe it. We shouldn’t club them with it or be obnoxious about sharing it. But as we share with people what God said, He will use His Word to open their eyes and shine His light in their hearts.

Don’t be afraid to rely on and share God’s Word. He promises it “shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it” (Isaiah 55:11). “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12).

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Grace When Others Fail Us

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Grace when others fail us

As I puttered around the kitchen, the radio preacher shared a hypothetical story.

In the context of teaching women to love their husbands from Titus 2, the speaker told of a man whose main conversations with his wife at home centered on her telling him what needed to be done around the house. Then when the man went to his workplace, his pretty young secretary built up his ego by pointing out how well he did his job, how capable he was, etc. Since the husband felt starved for attention and affirmation, he was ripe for at least an emotional and perhaps even a physical affair with his secretary—and it was all his wife’s fault.

Now, a sermon illustration by its nature is sometimes oversimplified. But this one stirred a few thoughts.

First of all, should women be careful how they speak to their husbands? Of course. When Jesus said to love our neighbors as ourselves, our family members are our first neighbors. All the Bible says about speech being kind, gracious, and edifying needs to be applied at home before anywhere else. Sometimes we’re on our guard when we speak to others outside the home, but get careless within our own walls.

When the honeymoon is over and life gets busy, it’s easy to fall into utilitarian conversation and forget to talk just to enjoy each other. We need to remember to thank each other for the things that are done and not take each other for granted.

We need to treat our husbands respectfully (Ephesians 5:33). I cringe when I hear women talk to their husbands like children or give them a dressing down or ridicule or belittle them.

So yes, I agree, how we speak to our husbands is a big factor in how we show love to them. And building them up at home will help them be less susceptible to the flattery of others.

However . . .

A husband is not justified in seeking attention elsewhere if he feels he’s not getting enough at home.

When we stand before God some day to give an account of our lives, we’re not going to be able to point to anyone else and blame them for our sins.

God provides a way out of temptation. “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it” (1 Corinthians 10:13).

God’s grace is sufficient for whatever He requires of us. “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.” (2 Corinthians 9:8).

God has given us everything we need to live godly lives. “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire” (2 Peter 1:3-4).

The Bible warns us about flattery, particularly the dangers to men of a flattering woman.

“Wisdom will save you also from the adulterous woman, from the wayward woman with her seductive words” (Proverbs 2:16, NIV. Other translations say “smooth” words or “flattering” words).

“With much seductive speech she persuades him; with her smooth talk she compels him. All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a stag is caught fast till an arrow pierces its liver; as a bird rushes into a snare; he does not know that it will cost him his life.”

“And now, O sons, listen to me, and be attentive to the words of my mouth. Let not your heart turn aside to her ways; do not stray into her paths, for many a victim has she laid low, and all her slain are a mighty throng. Her house is the way to Sheol, going down to the chambers of death” (Proverbs 7:21-27).

“For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil,
but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword” (Proverbs 5:3-4).

If one of my kids or grandkids or any other young person under my influence came to me with the situation in the sermon illustration and asked what to do, I’d advise two things.

First, at a relaxed time, talk to your spouse. Don’t accuse or act defensive, but just honestly state you’re feeling more like a handyman than a husband (or, if the situation is reversed, feeling more like a maid than a wife). Perhaps say, “I don’t know if you realize it, but all of our conversation lately is about stuff that needs to be done. I’d like to talk about more.”

Second, take the initiative. Talk to her as you want her to talk to you. Ask how her day was. Ask what she thinks about something in the news. Find out her “love language” and express it to her. Let her know you care about her beyond what she does for the home and family. In fact, this could possibly be the first or only step.

All of these principles—the fact that we’re responsible for our own reactions and can’t blame anyone else for our sin, that God provides a way out of temptation, that He gives grace to do right, that we need to guard against being led astray by flattery, that we can look for ways to rectify the problem rather than responding negatively—are true for men and women in multitudes of situations.

If we’re feeling unappreciated or uncared for, the first thing to do is go to God and ask Him what to do and how to respond. Even our dearest earthly loves will fail us sometimes. But He never will.

2 Corinthians 9:8 God's grace

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Tips for Getting Out of a Devotional Rut

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Tips for getting out of a devotional rut

Do you ever chafe at the routine things you have to do?

Some days I am irked at having to take a shower. I know, I know, people didn’t always bathe every day, and I don’t have to. But if I don’t, I won’t be able to stand myself before the day is over.

Then we unload and reload the same dishes in the dishwasher, wash the same clothes, buy the same groceries only to have them disappear.

Sometimes that sense of sameness can creep into my time with the Lord as well. I’ve mentioned before that I like to start with what we call “the Lord’s prayer” and expand my prayer time from there. But when I see those same words every day, it’s easy to run through them without even thinking.

We know reading God’s Word and talking with Him in prayer are precious privileges. What can we do when they seem just part of the day’s routine?

Here are some ideas:

Pray. Ask God to help you treasure time with Him and give you wisdom to keep it fresh.

Change the order of what you do. If you normally pray and then read, reverse the order. Or pray as you read, letting the Scripture prompt your prayers.

Change your time or location. If you normally have your quiet time in a comfy living room chair, try the kitchen table or the patio or the park.

Listen to the passage instead of reading or while reading. Some Bible apps have the ability to hear the passage read.

Go back to basics. Journals, markers, commentaries, etc., can all aid in Bible study. But sometimes we get more caught up in the aids than the Word itself. Just pick up the Bible sometimes and ask God to speak to you through it rather than looking at your time with God as a homework assignment to get through.

Use a study Bible or commentary. I don’t mean to contradict what I just said. But if you are used to just reading through a passage, then a study Bible can shed new light or bring in insights with background information or connection to other passages.

Use a different aid. If you use the same aids all the time, ask a trusted friend for recommendations of others.

Vary how much you read. If you usually read a chapter or two a day, try slowing down and digging all you can out of a few verses. Or, if you like to go slowly, try reading through a whole chapter or book. We benefit from both the larger overview reading and camping out in one place for a time.

Start with a hymn or psalm. Some people like to sing during their devotional time. But even just reading through the words of a hymn can spur our hearts to worship. And the psalms remind us God is interested in our hearts.

Read from a different translation. I see things I didn’t notice before when I read from a translation I am not used to. Or a familiar verse won’t sound familiar and I’ll question, “Is that what it really says,” prompting further study.

Have a Bible reading project. Some years ago, I heard someone say that Jesus never claimed to be God. I knew that wasn’t true, but I also knew He didn’t stand on a mountaintop and proclaim His identity to the world in a public way. So as I read through the gospels, I put a “C” by every verse where Jesus claimed something about Himself. That was such a rich study. It woke me up in my reading since I was looking for particular things. You could also go through the gospels and put a “P” by every verse which fulfills a prophecy from the Old Testament. Someday I’d like to note every verse which speaks about creation and what we learn from it.

Take a break from the book you are in. I like to read through a book of the Bible rather than hopping around at random. You get the context of the overall message that way and see how the individual points fit together. But some books, like Leviticus and Chronicles, can be a little dry. Take a break one day and read a few psalms or a short epistle like Philippians.

Build in a free day. The church we attended the last few years had a Bible reading plan that spanned five days of the week. We discussed the week’s reading on Sunday. Saturday was a catch-up day. Since I didn’t usually need to catch up, and I didn’t want to get ahead of where we were reading as a group, I used Saturdays to work through a different Bible study book or Christian nonfiction book. I benefit more from those kinds of books when I set aside time to dig in; I can’t just pick them up at random and read a few paragraphs like I can other books (at least I can’t get as much out of them that way). I’ve come to treasure my different routine on Saturdays. I read from Daily Light on the Daily Path every day, so I am getting something directly from God’s Word even if I don’t read a whole chapter.

Remind yourself of the benefits. It helps to get through routine tasks when I remind myself of their benefits. On occasional days I don’t make my bed, I am reminded that the room does look more neat when the largest item in it is neat. When the room is neat, I feel less cluttered mentally. I remind myself to be thankful that I can take a shower easily: in some eras and cultures, that wasn’t always possible. Though going to the grocery store is tiring, we’re blessed to have food readily available.

There are almost innumerable benefits to reading the Bible and praying. God’s Word sheds light, gives wisdom, peace, comfort, teaches us who and how great God is, and so much more.

Read and pray anyway, even if you don’t particularly feel like doing so. The worst thing we can do on those days is avoid the Bible and prayer or just give them short shrift. God’s Word revives us, so if we avoid it, we’re avoiding the very means God can use to enliven our hearts and renew our love for His Word. “Unless thy law had been my delights, I should then have perished in mine affliction. I will never forget thy precepts: for with them thou hast quickened me” (Psalm 119:92-93, KJV). One of our former pastors said that one of his best times of prayer happened when he had to start out confessing that he didn’t feel like praying.

Every meal is not a Thanksgiving feast, but every meal nourishes us. In the same way, some times with the Lord in His Word will be special and deeply meaningful. Other times may not feel that way, but they still nourish our souls and help us grow spiritually.

What have you found to help when your devotional time is in a rut?

Your testimonies are my delight and counselors. Psalm 119:24

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

God’s Correction Is a Blessing

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God's Correction is a blessing.

I recently saw a meme which said that our relationship with God is not about Him pointing out our sin, but about exchanging our hearts with Jesus.

I had to think about that a while.

I’m not sure what the writer meant by exchanging hearts with Jesus. Maybe she was alluding to Ezekiel 36:26, where God says He will remove our heart of stone and give us a heart of flesh.

But what particularly struck me was the downplaying, even the rejection, of the need for God to point out our sin. The thought reminded me of a song that was popular when I was a kid. The singer prays at night during a lonely time. She doesn’t want God to correct, challenge, or chasten her. She just wants Him to listen.

Our relationship with God is more than dealing with sin, of course. But dealing with sin is certainly part of it. Even the allusion to needing a new heart is an indication that all is not right with ours.

No one enjoys having their wrongdoings pointed out. Yet God pointing out our sin is not a negative aspect of our relationship with Him. It’s a blessing. It’s sin that comes between us, hinders our prayers, and clouds our fellowship. When God convicts us of sin, it’s a sign of His love and an opportunity to confess to Him and be forgiven. Proverbs 28:13 says, “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.”

We might think of it a little like this. Suppose a young boy who is old enough to know better kicks a ball around in the house and breaks a window, hits his little sister, skips school, and is found smoking with his friends—and then asks his parents for the latest video game. Most parents would say, “We have some other things to talk about first.”

The parents correct the child not just because he’s not living up to their standards or embarrassing them in front of the neighbors, but for his own good. A child who is never corrected by his parents will never learn to say no to himself or rein himself in. He’ll most likely have trouble in school, in his job, and in relationships because he’s never been taught to do anything but have his own way.

We don’t like to be shown that we’re doing something wrong. Everyone having their own “truth” these days makes it even harder to pin down an authoritative right and wrong.

But what about when we are wrong?

If you’re going the wrong direction, wouldn’t you want someone to tell you before you go too far out of your way?

If you are training to be an accountant, wouldn’t you want to work out the mistakes in your calculations so you don’t cost yourself or your client great sums of money?

If you’re a brain surgeon, wouldn’t you want the best training and practice so you’re not a hazard to your patients?

Correction is a fact of everyday life. We’re in a constant state of growth. Learning better ways to do things and treat people involves examining our thoughts, motives, speech, and actions, ferreting out what’s bad, and learning improved ways to think, feel, speak, and act.

The need for correction is even more vital spiritually.

Sin is what originally separates us from God. Isaiah 59:2: “Your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear.”

Jesus died on the cross to take care of our sin. 1 John 3:5: “You know that he appeared in order to take away sins, and in him there is no sin.” Galatians 2:21b: “If righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose.”

Well, you might say, I am a believer. The Bible says “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). So I don’t have to worry about sin any more.

No, that’s not true. I John 1:6-10 says—to Christians—

 If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

Our sins are forgiven and we’re not under condemnation. But we still have an old nature. After we’re saved, we fight against sin because we have a new nature that wants to please our Father. As we grow in Him, He convicts us of things that are wrong so we might confess them and put them aside. Sin doesn’t sever our relationship, but it does affect it.

Usually after several years of being a Christian, we’ll be convicted about things we never thought of when we were first saved. That’s a blessing: if God dealt with everything in our lives at once, we’d be overwhelmed. As parents, the things we deal with our children at age fifteen will be different, and likely more advanced, than what we dealt with at age five.

Being convicted of our sin does more than prompt us to confess and forsake the sin. It also humbles us and reminds us how much we need to be in God’s Word and to rely on Him for our daily walk.

A. W. Tozer said, “We must allow the Word of God to correct us the same way we allow it to encourage us.” “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work’ (2 Timothy 3:16-17). Multitudes of verses in proverbs tell us that wise people receive corrections, but fools don’t listen.

Like the psalmist, we need to regularly invite God to “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23-24). “Examine me, O LORD, and prove me; Try my mind and my heart” (Psalm 26:2). Paul tells us to examine ourselves before taking communion.

God “disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:10b-11).

We don’t approach a stern judge who is ready to bang his gavel. We come to one who sympathizes with us in grace. “Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:14-16).

So don’t search the Bible or pray only for assurance and affirmation. Let God’s Word and Spirit do their sanctifying work of searching you and correcting you. The process may not be pleasant, but His cleansing ultimately brings great peace and joy.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Tips for Finding a New Church Home

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I wrote a couple of weeks ago about ways churches could help visitors to find out more about their church. I thought it only fair to look at the other side of the coin: how can new visitors to a church help their visit to go well?

We have many options to watch churches online. But we miss so much if we just observe from afar rather than taking the time to participate with others of like faith. Yes, all Christians belong to the church as a whole. But it’s in our individual congregations where we serve, learn, grow, build each other up, practice the “one anothers” in the Bible.

It’s disconcerting to look for a new church home. On one hand, we don’t want to flounder around for long. On the other, we want to take time to make the best decision. Meanwhile, we feel adrift until we find the place where we feel we belong and can serve.

These are some factors that have helped us when visiting churches.

1. Pray for God’s wisdom and direction, not just before your search, but all during it.

2. Decide what’s most important to you. Obviously, you want to find a church that preaches truth from the Bible. But as I mentioned in the previous post, it’s possible in cities like ours to find hundreds of churches with the same statement of faith, the same core beliefs that we ascribe to. So sometimes we end up weighing secondary issues, like:

Traditional vs. contemporary style of service and music
“King James Only” or other Bible versions
Casual or formal
Expositional or topical preaching
Continuationist or cessationist (referring to certain gifts of the Holy Spirit)
Reformed or not
Age-segregated or family-integrated
Songleader and choir or worship team
Premillennial, post-millennial, amillennial (referring to “end times”)

We can acknowledge that no one’s salvation is dependent on their views of these secondary issues, and Christians have freedom of conscience in some of these areas to choose what they think best. But if you feel strongly one way, you’re going to be uncomfortable in a church that practices another way.

And then there are issues like programs for the various family members, preferences for a large or small church, etc. But I would encourage folks not to be too rigid about programs and church size. We were hesitant about our last church because it had fewer than 25 people, and we didn’t want to be in a church that small. But we loved the church and the people, and it had a real family feeling to it. There are advantages to large and small churches–neither is right or wrong. If you’ve been used to one, maybe give the other a try. And personally, I am less interested in programs than I used to be.

3. Research. Asking people you know for church recommendations is often a good place to start. But it’s vital to research churches on your own as well.

Thankfully, these days most churches have at least basic websites where you can find a statement of faith. Most church sites will tell you a little more about themselves (though, after you’ve looked at several, they all begin to sound alike. One of my pleas in the previous post was for church websites to tell what’s distinctive about the church as much as possible). Many church web sites will have audio or video recording from previous services, which helps you know what the worship and preaching styles of the church are. We also like to look at information about the pastoral staff. Where a pastor has gone to school or what organizations he has served with will shed light on where he is coming from.

Many churches have a Facebook page. Some will have more information there than on their web site.

Sometimes we’ve looked up the pastor’s Facebook profile if we don’t find much information on the church’s website or Facebook page.

Doing as much research as possible ahead of time will help you narrow down your church choices and hopefully avoid unpleasant surprises.

4. Arrive early for your first visit. We try to leave early for our first time at a church for several reasons: we don’t know what traffic will be like; we like to find out where to go and where bathrooms are; we want to allow time to chat if people stop to introduce themselves.

5. Be friendly. Many church members fail in greeting first-time visitors. But we can make it easier by being approachable, friendly, open-faced, even introducing ourselves first. If we scowl or avoid eye contact or arrive late and leave as soon as possible, we’re not giving people a chance to welcome us.

6. Go to a smaller service. Usually we just go to the main service for our first visit to a church. If all goes well, then we’ll go to Sunday School or a midweek prayer meeting. Those meetings are often where people are more open and friendly—I don’t know if it’s because the group is smaller, or they regard visitors to those services as less likely to be just passing through.

7. Go more than once. Unless something glaring comes up in our first visit, we go to a church we are considering at least twice, and usually much more often.

8. Don’t judge; give grace. At the church we belonged to when we were first married, we had a visitor once who griped about several things. While we were glad to have problems pointed out so we could correct them, it was dismaying that this man had so many complaints, and that he voiced them his first time there.

Sometimes things might be a little off during your visit—that’s one reason we try to go more than once. Sometimes the sound system will have problems one morning or someone will flub the announcements or misspeak. There might be dust and debris on the bathroom floors; maybe a cleaning crew member was sick or missed their rotation. Any number of things can go wrong–or at least not as well as hoped.

9. Jot down questions as they arise. We don’t usually fill out a visitor’s card. If we visit a couple of times and decide to move on, we don’t want to keep receiving letters or phone calls from a church.

But if we attend over several weeks, questions might come up about the pastor’s or church’s stand on particular issues. Sometimes we ask about those when chatting with the pastor after a service. Sometimes my husband will call the pastor during the week. Usually if we’re seriously considering membership, we’ll meet with the pastor or invite him and his family for dinner. We’ve found most pastors to be very open to questions.

10. There is no perfect church. A church is made up of imperfect people, so of course it’s not going to be perfect. We know that on one level, yet it’s easy to go from church to church without finding one that’s “just right.” With so many churches close by, it’s easy to think the ideal one with all the features we want might be the next one. And if family members disagree about what features they want, the decision is even harder.

The church my husband grew up in was the only Baptist church in an area dominated by a different sect. The church members just had to learn to get along and set aside their differences, because there was nowhere else to go. That’s not a bad scenario.

Lastly, don’t be like Mr. Bean. 🙂 I don’t know how everyone around him kept a straight face.

You want to look for a place where you can serve, not just a place where you can receive benefit. But for us, looking for specific ways to serve (beyond greeting, praying for people, showing kindness, pitching in, etc.) comes later as we see the needs and see where we best fit.

Eventually, God will lead us to the local church we can call home and settle into.

What has helped you as you have looked for a new church home?

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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