Is It More Important to Read the Bible Together or Alone?

Posted on September 24, 2023 by Barbara Harper

What’s more important: having regular personal time alone with the Lord or hearing the Bible read and taught in community at church?

You might respond, “We need both. Why pit them against each other?”

That’s my question. Why, indeed?

Nevertheless, I’ve seen a couple of recent articles positing that the church service is to be our main spiritual meal.

One author’s reasons for her premise was that in Scripture, God spoke to groups through a prophet or preacher, and the New Testament epistles were written to churches.

But God spoke to individuals as well. And many NT letters and books were written to individuals (Luke, Acts, Titus, Philemon, 1 and 2 Timothy).

I suspect this idea that we need to hear the Word gathered together more than we need to read it on our own arose for a couple of reasons. One is the drifting away of many from church and the desire to stress to believers the importance of meeting together.

Another is the almost universal guilt people feel about their time in the Bible. Every time this topic comes up, I hear disappointment or frustration or disillusionment. People feel guilty if they miss a day (or several days), if they fall asleep or get distracted while praying or reading the Bible, if they didn’t particularly get anything out of it or felt bored.

It’s true there’s nothing in the Bible that tells us to read it every day or prescribes exactly how a quiet time or devotions should be practiced.

But Psalm 1 tells us that the stable, fruitful person meditates on God’s law day and night. God specifically told Joshua to meditate on the book of the law day and night. We’re told throughout Scripture to remember what God said. We can’t meditate on (think about, turn over in our minds) what we have not heard or read.

The psalms in the Bible are songs which were sung by the children of Israel. Some of them have plural pronouns, but many have personal pronouns. That means even though the congregation is singing about the truths of the passage together, the passage was written by someone’s experience with the Lord alone. Psalm 119:148, the writer actually anticipates “the night watches, that I may meditate on Your word.”

Our time alone with God should feed into our time together, and our time in the Word together should edify our inner souls and equip us in our daily walk.

Time with other believers learning God’s Word is vital and wonderful. But we only meet together once or twice a week. The Bible is our spiritual food, and we need to eat more than that.

We don’t relate to God only as “one of the kids.” In a family with multiple children, each child relates to the family as a whole. But each child also relates to the father and mother as individuals.

We’re to meet together frequently (Hebrews 10:25), “stir one another up to love and good works” (Hebrews 10:24), learn from the incredible gifts God gave to the church in pastors and teachers (Ephesians 4:11-13), sing worshipful, Scripture based songs together (Colossians 3:16).

But just as children are born into a family individually, no matter who else might be there, we’re born again by personal repentance and faith in Christ as Lord and Savior. We get to know Him by spending time with Him, listening to Him, alone and with others. Though our brothers and sisters in Christ are great encouragements, sometimes we stand with God alone and encourage ourselves in God alone, like David did. We praise and meditate on Him alone in the middle of the night (Psalm 63:5-7). We’ll each give account of ourselves to God (Romans 14:11).

What about the disappointment we feel when our devotional time is less than stellar?

We need to remember the point of a devotional time is not to get through an assignment, to feel proud that we’ve completed our plan for the day, or to turn in a great performance. The point of a devotional time is to get to know God better.

When we get to know other people, we spend time with them, learn about them, listen to them, talk with them. Just like with others in our lives, those conversations will vary. Some interactions are long and deep, some are hurried and surface-level.

I like to think of it this way: every time in the Bible is not going to be like a Thanksgiving feast, where we’re filled to bursting with all our favorite things. But every meal nourishes us, even the tuna casseroles or peanut butter sandwiches and their spiritual equivalents.

God knows we’re only human. “As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust” (Psalm 103:13-14).

And feeling sleepy, bored, or not with it on a given day happens in church as well as home alone with our Bibles.

When the Bible was being written, no one had a completed copy of it. And most people did not have their own copy of any part of it. Listening to the Bible being taught was the main way, often the only way, they were exposed to it. Even when the Bible was completed, it was a long time before individuals had their own.

But we do have the completed Bible. And most of us have several copies, as well as apps to read or listen to. William Tyndale, John Wycliffe, and others gave their lives to provide people with copies of the Scripture they could read in their own language.

If every word in the Bible is God-breathed, shouldn’t we spend time taking it in as much as we can?

A couple of older saints inspire me to read God’s Word for myself:

Above all theologies, and creeds, and catechisms, and books, and hymns, must the Word be meditated on, that we may grow in the knowledge of all its parts and in assimilation to its models. Our souls must be steeped in it; not in certain favorite parts of it, but the whole. We must know it, not [only] from the report of others but from our own experience and vision. . . Another cannot breathe the air for us, nor eat for us, nor drink for us.—Horatius Bonar from They Walked With God

You all have by you a large treasure of divine knowledge, in that you have the Bible in your hands; therefore be not contented in possessing but little of this treasure. God hath spoken much to you in the Scripture; labor to understand as much of what he saith as you can. God hath made you all reasonable creatures; therefore let not the noble faculty of reason or understanding lie neglected. Content not yourselves with having so much knowledge as is thrown in your way, and as you receive in some sense unavoidably by the frequent inculcation of divine truth in the preaching of the word, of which you are obliged to be hearers, or as you accidentally gain in conversation; but let it be very much your business to search for it, and that with the same diligence and labor with which men are wont to dig in mines of silver and gold.—Jonathan Edwards

Granted, the articles I mentioned earlier did not say we should only read and hear the Bible in church and never read it on our own. They encouraged private devotions as well, but elevated church reading and teaching above them. However, I would say reading and studying the Bible alone is not second fiddle to hearing it taught at church. Both are good and needed ways to get to know our God and His will better.

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly - Colossians 3:16a

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

How Can I Be Nice When My Hormones Are Raging?

Posted on September 17, 2023 by Barbara Harper

(My male readers may want to pass this one by. Then again, if you have women in your life, you might find this helpful.)

Between Sunday School and church, our small choir would meet in a downstairs hallway to run through the song we’d practiced the week before. As my friend, Christy (not her real name), came in, I handed her a songbook.

Christy took the book, threw it across the room onto a table, and kept walking.

I was stunned. So, apparently, were the others waiting in the corridor. Most were aware of her physical issues, and one asked, “Is Christy on her period this week?”

I thought, “How embarrassing that the whole church knows when it’s ‘that time of month.'”

Granted, Christy had more severe problems than most. She ended up having a hysterectomy in her thirties.

Though most of us don’t have that level of discomfort, I don’t know anyone who just breezes through their menstrual cycle. There’s always some level of physical discomfort, inconvenience, and emotional fluctuations that can vary month to month and year to year. Much worse has been done due to hormones than throwing a book.

And “that time of month” isn’t the only time hormones fluctuate to almost unbearable levels. They can run askew at other times. Pregnancy, the post-partum era, and menopause are also rough hormonal spots for women, intensified by interrupted sleep and physical discomfort. The years leading up to menopause (called perimenopause) were much harder for me, resulting in anemia, among other issues..

I always felt that my family and friends didn’t deserve for me to blow up or snap at them. I observed that the passage about the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5 doesn’t have an exception clause for hormones.

Still—I had some days when I prayed, “God, this is impossible. How am I supposed to be nice to people when my hormones are raging?” If walking in the Spirit was hard enough on a normal day, how could I do so with all these other factors working against me?

I don’t want to heap guilt on you on top of everything else. But I do want to encourage you to seek “grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:15-16).

From my limited experience, here are some things that might help. (I am not a doctor or counselor and make no medical or mental health claims.)

1. See your doctor. Don’t feel, “This is just a normal part of womanhood. I should be able to buck up and carry on.” And don’t let your doctor stop there, either. Though hormones are part of being a woman, “normal” varies from person to person. Especially if you feel like either your physical symptoms or emotions are extreme, seek help. There are a variety of things that can aid you both physically and mentally.

2. Establish good health habits. We’re tempted to eat junk when we’re not feeling well. An occasional treat is fine, but taking in good nutrition, exercising, getting enough sleep all throughout the month will help even the worst days.

3. Ask for grace. I used to let my husband know that time of month was coming, and, though I was trying hard to reign myself in, I might be a little more emotional or irritable than usual. He was always very understanding and gracious.

I once listened to a cassette tape (that’s how long ago it was) from Wayne Van Gelderen, Jr., in which he told about his mom having a hard time during menopause. His father asked Wayne, as the oldest child, to be a special help for her. He remarked that years later, when he tried to tell his siblings about the difficulties their mom experienced then, they didn’t believe him. He had seen “behind the scenes,” but they had not.

4. Give yourself grace. Not an excuse, but grace. Sometimes we find ourselves irritable or emotional and don’t realize what’s going on until a couple of days later when our period comes. Then the light dawns. If you have a regular cycle, you can prepare yourself a little better mentally. It’s not always possible, but if you know when your worst days might be, try not to schedule major events then. It’s nice to curl up with a heating pad and a good book (or whatever is comforting to you) or bow out of social obligations those days if you can.

5. Maintain good spiritual habits. Putting on the spiritual armor of Ephesians 6, taking our thoughts captive, being filled with the Spirit, all might be harder at certain times of the month or seasons of life. But this is not a time to let our guard down. We need God’s help more than ever. We might shorten or vary our Bible reading and prayer time when we’re not feeling well, but we shouldn’t drop them. Quick prayers throughout the day call on God’s aid in our need: “Please help me not to feel so irritated, or at least not to lash out.”

6. Rely on God’s grace and strength all the more. Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10: “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth has said, “Anything that makes you need God is a blessing.” We can’t always arrange our circumstances to accommodate how we feel. In fact, sometimes it seems like issues heap up at the worst time of the month. But cry out to your Father and lean on His help all the more, moment by moment.

7. Meditate on Scripture. Here are a few that helped me in addition to the ones mentioned:

“God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (1 Timothy 1:7). Some translations say “a sound mind” rather than “self-control.”
“In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul” (Psalm 94:19, KJV).
“When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, Then You knew my path” (Psalm 142:3, NKJV).
“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you” (Isaiah 26:3).
“God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work” (2 Corinthians 9:8). Sometimes I would shorten this to make it easier to hang onto: “all grace, all sufficiency, all things, all times.”

I also clung to this stanza from “Just As I Am” by Charlotte Elliott:

Just as I am, poor, wretched, blind;
Sight, riches, healing of the mind;
Yes, all I need, in Thee to find,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come!

8. Take life moment by moment. If we wonder how we’re going to get through this week, or theses months after having a baby, or years before menopause, we’ll feel weighed down and helpless. But we just have to rely on God’s grace this moment. And then the next one.

Much more could be said on this subject. Here are a few good articles I found, especially the first one:

How about you? What helps you when hormones cause you trouble?

I want to emphasize again that if you feel your symptoms are more than you can handle, physically or mentally, see your doctor as soon as possible. There is help available.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Influencing Our Grandchildren for God

Posted on September 10, 2023 by Barbara Harper

I was reading of a grandmother who planned specific activities when her grandchildren came to visit. She’d plot a course and assemble supplies. Some of their endeavors were simple, some elaborate. Her grandchildren looked forward to whatever fun event would be happening at Grandma’s house that day.

The last time my only grandson, Timothy, stayed with us without his parents, we sat on the couch while he showed me his toy and told me about it. We talked about a number of other things. He broke into spontaneous, imaginative play while we watched and commented. And I wondered, “Should I have planned something special to do together?”

Sometimes we might do a planned activity, but usually we’re pretty laid back. I’m sure the activity-planning grandparent probably has low-key times with her grandchildren as well.

There are no right or wrong styles of grandparenting . . . well, setting aside negative examples of abuse or neglect. But how we interact will depend a lot of personalities, circumstances, energy levels, etc.

However, most Christian grandparents want, above all else, to be a godly example to their grandchildren and to influence them for the Lord.

Sometimes it’s difficult to know how to do that. We’re not with our grandchildren all the time. Teaching them is primarily their parent’s responsibility. How can we have the best influence?

I’ve only been a grandparent to one child less than a decade, so I am not an expert. But observations of other grandparents plus my own reading and thoughts have resulted in these ideas.

Engage with them. Sometimes we bring our grandchildren into what we do: gardening, baking, fishing, riding bikes, and so on. Sometimes we enter into what they like to do, whether playing games, coloring, building with Legos, or going to a playground or children’s museum. One of my favorite memories with Timothy involved boxes of Little People toys saved from our kids’ childhoods, especially the Grandma and Baby figures. Once a stray dinosaur had gotten tucked away with them. We had the dinosaur chasing Little People all over the place.

However we go about it, we need to spend time with them, get to know them, and let them get to know us. We would do this anyway just because we love them. But we also aren’t going to be able to speak into their lives without that underlying relationship. If our only interaction with them is didactic, they’re probably going to avoid us.

Pray for them regularly. Pray for wisdom in being an influence to them.

Point out God’s hand in creation and circumstances. One friend is a master at this, regularly pointing out God’s creativity in the sky, insects, even onions.

Share how God has worked in and through His people. Deuteronomy 4:9 says, “Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children.”

Share personal stories. This is something I wish I had done more with our children. School, Sunday School, and Awanas focused on doctrine, so at home we dealt more with character development. But doctrine and character are integrated, and both are personal, not just academic.

These things are harder to do when we don’t live near our grandchildren. I have fond memories of writing letters to and receiving letters from my grandmother. We have multitudes of ways to keep in touch these days.

If parenting instruction is more “caught” than “taught,” I think grandparenting influence is even more so. Sharing how God has worked in our own lives, leading us, and providing for us, helps them learn that God is personally interested in us, a friend that sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24). In Deuteronomy 6, God wants “you and your son and your son’s son” to fear Him and keep His commandments. He wants families to “talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise” (verses 2-7).

Most of us aspire to be like Timothy’s grandmother, Lois. “I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well” (1 Timothy 4:5).

We want to share “things that we have heard and known, that our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done” (Psalm 78:3-4).

Some of us don’t have grandchildren (or even children). Or we might have only one or two. But we can minister to other children and young people in our sphere of influence by showing an interest, getting to know them, and speaking a word for God as He leads.

How about you? What ways have you found to influence your grandchildren or any of the next generation for the Lord?

Tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the LORD, and his might, and the wonders that he has do. Psalm 78:4

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

When Everything Goes Wrong

Posted on September 3, 2023 by Barbara Harper

It must have seemed to the disciples like everything was going wrong.

In less than twenty-four hours, everything they had worked for the past three years seemed to unravel:

A “great crowd with swords and clubs” came to find Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26:47).
Judas, one of the twelve disciples, betrayed Jesus.
Peter, thinking to defend Jesus, wielded his sword and cut off a man’s ear. But Jesus told him to put his sword away.
Jesus was wrongly arrested.
People lied about Jesus at His trial.
Jesus was falsely accused of blasphemy.
The Jews spit at, slapped, beat, and mocked Jesus.
Peter, who promised to stay with Jesus always, denied knowing Him.
Judas killed himself.
Jesus was taken to Pilate, who offered to make Jesus the prisoner he annually released for the crowd. But the crowd chose Barabbas instead.
Pilate had Jesus scourged and delivered Him to be crucified.
The Roman soldiers mocked, spit on, and beat Jesus.
Jesus was crucified between two thieves.
Jesus was mocked by the crowd.
Jesus died.
Earthquakes split rocks and opened tombs.

I can only imagine the disciples’ dismay and confusion for the three days between the crucifixion and resurrection. Jesus told them He was going to be put to death and rise again, but somehow they didn’t get it. At least, however they thought it was all going to work, they were clearly surprised and unprepared.

Their leader, their Messiah, had been cruelly treated and killed. How did it all happen, and so quickly? What was going to happen to them now? What should they do?

As they were soon to discover, God’s perfect will was being worked out. God didn’t just work in spite of all that had occurred, but through it all.

God’s fingerprints were all over this day. Does that mean He made people sin? No, but He knew what they would do.

At least 27 Old Testament prophecies were fulfilled by Christ in that one day, not to mention so many that were fulfilled over His lifetime. .

The Pharisees had not wanted to arrest Christ during the Passover “lest there be an uproar among the people (Matthew 26:3-4). But that’s exactly when it happened, so that Jesus, the Lamb of God, could fulfill what the Passover lamb represented.

When Pilate said, “Do you not know that I have authority to release you and authority to crucify you?” Jesus answered him, “You would have no authority over me at all unless it had been given you from above” (John 19:10).

Jesus “yielded up His spirit” (Matthew 27:50). He died when He had fulfilled everything and when He was ready. He died on His terms, not Pilates’ or the Pharisees’ or the soldiers’.

On this worst of days, when everything seemed to be going wrong, God was working to accomplish the means of our salvation. Though it must have seemed to the disciples that everything was spinning out of control, God’s perfect will was being accomplished.

Others in Scripture had times when everything seemed to be going wrong.

Job lost his possessions, his livelihood, his ten children, and then his health.
Abraham and Sarah were promised a son, but nothing happened for decades.
Joseph was the favored son, but was sold by his brothers into slavery, falsely accused, and thrown into prison. Those whom he asked to say a good word for him forgot.
David was anointed king, but spent years running for his life and hiding in caves before he was crowned.
The Jews were on the verge of being exterminated by a wicked enemy in the book of Esther. Esther was unsure whether her husband, a pagan king, would listen to her plea to save her people. Though God is not named in the book, His hand is obvious throughout.

We see their situations resolved by God’s provision and leading in just a few pages. But we need to remember they lived with questions and bewilderment for a long time, even for many years in some cases.

Olympic runner and missionary Eric Liddell said, “Circumstances may appear to wreck our lives and God’s plans, but God is not helpless among the ruins. God’s love is still working. He comes in and takes the calamity and uses it victoriously, working out His wonderful plan of love.”

When things seem to be falling apart, when God’s answer doesn’t seem to be coming, when we’re confused, when we have no idea how the current circumstances will ever work out, we can go to God. He doesn’t always let us know His plans or reasons. But He promises He loves us and He is in control. He has a purpose for everything He allows. Many verses reassure us of these things. Here are just a few:

“Remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done,
saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose” (Isaiah 46:9-10).
“The LORD has established his throne in the heavens, and his kingdom rules over all” (Psalm 103:19).
“Then Job answered the Lord and said: ‘I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted'” (Job 42:1-2).
“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand” (Proverbs 19:21).
“Our God is in the heavens; he does all that he pleases” (Psalm 115:3).
“The Most High rules the kingdom of men” (Daniel 4:25b).
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

Throughout the Bible, we see people laying their hearts, confusion, and questions out before the Lord, often in anguish. After reminding themselves of the truth they knew about God’s character, wisdom, love and power, they came to a place of trust, submission, hope, and joy. They received His grace and help to carry on and wait for God’s answer.

We can, too.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Trusting God When Our Children Leave the Nest

Posted on August 27, 2023 by Barbara Harper

Trusting God for our children when they leave home

Our oldest son was just here for about ten days. Though saying good-bye was not as intense as the first time he left the nest, it never gets any easier.

My blog and Facebook feeds have been filled with posts about sending a child off to college. For some it’s the first major separation, greater than the first sleepover or week of camp. That first extensive step away from home as adult offspring, whether to college or some other venue, heralds the time when our kids will fully leave the nest behind and start their own homes, families, careers, and traditions.

It’s one thing when our adult children are going to people or places where we have every reason to trust they’ll be safe and continue to grow spiritually. It’s another thing when we have serious reservations about their pathway.

Monica, the mother of Augustine, is famous for praying faithfully for her son’s salvation. At one point, he decided to go to Rome. Monica felt Rome would not be good for him. She pleaded with him not to go, so much so that Augustine eventually lied to her and then slipped away. But it was in Rome that Augustine met friends who were able to help him along in his understanding so that eventually he did come to the Lord.

Augustine wrote, “And what was it, O Lord, that she was asking of thee in such a flood of tears but that thou wouldst not allow me to sail? But thou, taking thy own secret counsel and noting the real point to her desire, didst not grant what she was then asking in order to grant to her the thing that she had always been asking.”

That comforts me when my children want to go to unknown places with unknown people. God knows the places He has prepared for them and the people He wants them to meet.

When my kids were home, it was my nightly routine to check on them before I went to bed. When they were babies, I’d look for the rise and fall of their chests or place a hand on their backs to make sure they were breathing.

In their boyhood, I’d find them sprawled in all sorts of configurations on their beds, covers tangled or on the floor.

As they got older, I wouldn’t actually open their doors any more while they slept. But I was comforted to know they were home safe in their own beds. When they were out, I’d stay up (or at least dozing out on the couch) until they got home. Then I could rest at ease.

But when they step out into their own adult lives, we don’t have that mother hen satisfaction of having everyone safely home under our roof.

It’s a big adjustment.

But it’s also a good reminder. Our care, though heartfelt and intense, is limited. God’s care is not.

I don’t delve much into poetry, but these thoughts inspired a poem a few years ago. It’s not perfect, but I offer it to you in hopes it might be a comfort.

A Mother’s Nightly Ritual

Before a mother goes to bed
She checks each little downy head,
Places a hand on back or chest
Of each sleeping child at rest,
Making sure that all is well
Before succumbing to sleep’s spell.

As children grow and youth abounds,
Yet Mother still must make her rounds.
She can not rest at ease until
Her little ones are calm and still,
Safely tucked into their beds,
Then softly to her own she treads.

From childhood into youth they grow,
And she waits up until she knows
They’re settled safe and sound at home
Til the next day when they roam.
Though now they stay up long past her,
She can’t rest til they’re home, secure.

Her birds fly later from her sight.
Their beds are empty now at night.
She cannot check the rise and fall
Of sleeping breaths within her walls.
Yet she trusts they’re safely kept
By Him who never once has slept.

Though now they sleep beyond her care,
They never move beyond her prayer.
Her nightly vigil now is to
Trust them to the same One Who
Watched o’er Jacob while he roamed,
And kept him safe though far from home.

Barbara Harper
Copyright 2010

Psalm 121:8: The Lord will keep your going out and coming in from this time forth and forevermore.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Birthday Meditations on Aging

Posted on August 20, 2023 by Barbara Harper

Since my birthday is this week, and I had a “milestone” birthday last year, I’ve been thinking about aging.

My husband and I often remark that we don’t feel “old” (“old,” to me, has always been about twenty years beyond where I am now). We might tire a little more easily and have a plethora of aches and pains. But looking closely in the mirror often yields unpleasant surprises. When did that happen?

Seeing my mother-in-law through her last ten years of life brought up a long list of concerns about what we’ll face as we age. I once heard a preacher say that one reason our bodies start to fail us as we get older is so that we’ll be more willing to let loose of them. Each year reminds us that we’re in a temporary habitation.

But probably what most concerns me about aging is not being taken seriously any more, being thought of as out of touch or irrelevant.

On the other hand, there are perks to getting older. I’m more settled in my own skin. I’ve wrestled through questions and problems. Hopefully I’ve gained some wisdom through the years.

I wish Elisabeth Elliot had written a book on aging. She was my mentor-from-afar since my college days and helped me prepare for womanhood, marriage, motherhood, and Christian life and service. I did just discover that she had a series about aging on her radio program. I might spend my birthday week listening to those.

But I found in my files of her old e-mail devotionals an excerpt from her book On Asking God Why titled “Happy Birthday—You’re Heading Home.” She writes what she would say to an old friend on her birthday. The last few paragraphs encourage me:

You’ve heard those bad news/good news jokes. Well, this isn’t cheap birthday card humor. The bad news is that another year has gone by and we haven’t done all we meant to do and it’s not going to come back to give us another chance. The good news is the Gospel. We can be reconciled to God–sins forgiven, fears taken care of. That old cross, the emblem of suffering and shame, stands between us and our sins and fears, our past and future, and on its outstretched arms we see Love. The Love that would die for us is the Love that lives for us–Jesus Christ, Lord, Master, Savior of the World, wanting to give you (for your birthday if you’ll take it) something that will really quench your thirst, rivers among the sand dunes and wells in the valley; wanting to hold your hand, help you, give you–not only a happy birthday, but everlasting joy.

I’m not the least bit bashful about telling my age. I’m glad for every birthday that comes, because it is the Lord, my faithful Guide, who “summoned the generations from the beginning.” I look in the mirror and see the increasingly (and creasingly) visible proofs of the number of years, but I’m reconciled. Christ reconciles me to God and to God’s wonderful plan. My life is his life. My years are his years. To me life is Christ, and death is nothing but gain. When I remember that, I really can’t think of a thing I ought to be afraid of. I can’t be sorry I’m a year older and nearer to absolute bliss.

I pray for you on your birthday, that your path, as is promised to the just man, will shine not less and less but more and more; that you will still bring forth fruit in old age; that the Lord will give you a thankful heart like the psalmist’s who sang,

O God, thou hast taught me from boyhood,
all my life I have proclaimed thy marvellous works:
and now that I am old and my hairs are gray,
forsake me not, O God….
Songs of joy shall be on my lips;
I will sing thee psalms, because thou has redeemed me.
All day long my tongue shall tell of thy righteousness.

(Psalms 71:17, 18, 23, 24 NEB)

So–happy birthday! If you have friends and parties and presents, be thankful for such bonuses. If you have no friends with you today, no party, not a package to open, you still have a long list of things to thank God for, things that matter much more. A birthday filled with thanksgiving and hope is the happiest kind of birthday. Have one of those! Deck yourself with joy!

I agree with Elisabeth and Paul that “to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Philippians 1:21) and that heaven will be bliss. But I am encouraged that many through Scripture pleaded for more years of this life in which to serve and praise the Lord.

Elisabeth quoted the first part of Psalm 71:18. The whole verse, along with 17, stood out to me as I read it recently:

So even to old age and gray hairs,
O God, do not forsake me,
until I proclaim your might to another generation,
your power to all those to come.

That’s what I want to do with as many days as God gives me.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

When Do You Need to Look to Jesus?

Posted on August 13, 2023 by Barbara Harper

I don’t remember what I came to talk about with my elderly pastor’s wife that day four decades ago. Probably some besetting sin, some struggle of faith, some kind of burden. But I remember her shining, earnest face as she repeated, “Look away to Jesus.”

When do you need to look to Jesus?

Do you know where you’re going when you die? Do you have inner peace? Are you burdened with the weight of the world’s problems, and with your own as well? Do you have regrets, guilt, shame? Look to Jesus.

Look to Me, and be saved, All you ends of the earth! For I am God, and there is no other (Isaiah 45:22, NKJV).

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6).

Do you need to change? Are you discouraged because of a lack of transformation and growth? Look to Jesus.

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit (2 Corinthians 3:18).

Do you need focus as you run the race of life? Do you stumble and fall spiritually? Look to Jesus.

Let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God (Hebrews 12:1b-2).

Do you long for something more than this life has to offer? Do you need hope to persevere? Look to Jesus.

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works (Titus 2:11-14, NKJV).

Do you need grace and help and wisdom for every day life? Look to Jesus.

Seek the LORD and His strength; Seek His face continually (Psalm 105:4, NASB).

You have said, “Seek my face.” My heart says to you, “Your face, Lord, do I seek” (Psalm 27:8).

Looking to Jesus day after day,
Trusting His love each step of the way,
Knowing that He so willingly shares
All of my sorrows, troubles and cares.

Refrain:
Looking to Jesus—looking to Him,
Whether the path be sunny or dim;
Holding His hand by night and by day,
Trusting His love each step of the way.

Looking to Jesus when I am sad,
Looking to Jesus when I am glad,
Having no fear of tempest or foe,
Singing His praises, onward I go.

Looking to Jesus when I’m opprest,
Looking to Him for comfort and rest,
Shunning the world, its clamor and strife,
Looking to Him who crowneth my life.

Looking to Jesus me to defend,
Shield and encourage unto the end;
Knowing that He has buried my past,
Looking to Him for glory at last.

James Rowe, Public Domain

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

When You’re at Your Lowest

Posted on August 6, 2023 by Barbara Harper

When you're at you're lowest, God is there

Darlene Deibler Rose and her husband, Russell, were missionaries in New Guinea when the Japanese took possession of the area during WWII. When the Japanese separated the men from the women, Russell’s last words to Darlene were, “Remember one thing, dear: God said that he would never leave us nor forsake us.” She never saw him again.

The women were taken to a prison camp, where the bulk of Darlene’s book, Evidence Not Seen: A Woman’s Miraculous Faith in the Jungles of World War II, takes place.

Darlene received news that Russell died in 1944. Later, she was arrested by the secret police and taken to another prison for “questioning.” The conditions were horrible, to say the least. Darlene also suffered from dysentery, cerebral malaria, and beriberi. She was placed in solitary confinement.

Through all her troubles, Darlene relied on God’s presence with her. She wrote, “I knew that without God, without that consciousness of His Presence in every troubled hour, I could never have made it.”

Then suddenly one day, that presence seemed to leave her. She searched her heart to see if she was harboring any hidden sin. “My prayers, my expressions of worship, seemed to go no higher than the ceiling; there seemed to be no sounding board.” God didn’t seem to be answering any of her questions or prayers.

Heman the Ezrahite must have felt the same way. He wrote Psalm 88, the only psalm of lament that doesn’t end with hope and a renewed perspective

Heman writes that he cries out day and night to God. His soul is “full of troubles.” He has no strength. He feels forgotten, overwhelmed, helpless, and alone. He asks why God has cast him away and hidden His face. The last word of the psalm is “darkness.”

Why did God set such a depressing passage in Scripture, with seemingly no hope or help?

We don’t know all the reasons. But one would be that people feel like this sometimes. Troubles often seem to come in bunches. We’ve prayed for weeks or months, but nothing seems to change. We know God knows what is going on and He loves us—but why does He not alleviate the pain and change the situation? Why does He seem so far off and uncaring?

Even though Heman doesn’t share any outward hope or encouragement, he still expresses faith.

First of all, he comes to God, even though He feels far away.

Secondly, he knows God is the One who allowed the troubles to come. Whatever secondary sources lead to our trials, they could not come without God’s knowledge and permission.

Then Heman persists in prayer. He keeps coming, keeps calling out to God “day and night,” “every day.”

The ESV Study Bible commentary says, “The psalm instills a tough faith in its singers by reminding them to keep turning to God (the “God of my salvation,” v.1), even during these times when it seems that there is no answer being given. . . it helps its singers to see that faith can be real, even when it cannot arrive at strong hope after prayer” (p. 1048).

Job seemed to feel this way at times. He declared, “Though he slay me, I will hope in him” (Job 13:15). He didn’t trust only when he prospered or when prayer was answered the way and time he wanted. He still had questions. He cried out to God. He wished he could speak with the Lord face to face. But he maintained a gritty trust that God was the One who could help him, even though there was no sign of help yet.

Darlene had no Bible with her, but she had memorized Scripture in previous years. As she thought through Scripture she remembered, she prayed, “Lord, I believe all that the Bible says. I do walk by faith and not by sight. I do not need to feel You near, because Your Word says You will never leave me nor forsake me. Lord, I confirm my faith; I believe.”

Then Hebrews 11;1 came to her mind: “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” She wrote:

Evidence not seen — that was what I put my trust in — not in feelings or moments of ecstasy, but in the unchanging Person of Jesus Christ. Suddenly I realized that I was singing:

When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

On Christ the solid Rock I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

I was assured that my faith rested not on feelings, not on moments of ecstasy, but on the Person of my matchless, changeless Savior, in Whom is no shadow caused by turning.

Heman, Job, and Darlene leave behind a testimony to trust God, cling to Him, even at our lowest low. He sees. He knows. He cares. In His time, He will minister His grace.

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Criticism Can Be a Blessing

Posted on July 30, 2023 by Barbara Harper

I didn’t hear about the first writing conference I attended until shortly before it began. As I scrambled to prepare for it, I emailed the director to ask if I could still send in a manuscript sample for critique, something most conferences offer for a fee. She graciously said yes.

I’d been forewarned that I would be shocked at the number of corrections such a critique would entail. I thought I was prepared, but I still reeled at all the penciled-in notations on my manuscript. Thankfully my critiquer did not use a red pen, or else my pages would have looked like they were bleeding out.

I tried to take in all the comments the editor shared with me at our fifteen-minute meeting. At the end, I became painfully aware that she had not said one good thing about my writing.

The next activity on the schedule was lunch, and as I walked to my car in tears, I almost headed for home. Maybe writing was my dream, not God’s will. Maybe the people who had complimented my writing in the past were just being kind.

As I ate lunch alone, I pondered what to do. I finally felt God wanted me to stay. The conference and the hotel had already been paid for, so I might as well take advantage of them.

And I was glad I did. The rest of the conference was a wonderful experience and left me filled up and ready to go home and tackle my writing.

As I looked back over my submitted manuscript and tried to decipher my notes, I began to appreciate the editor’s comments. I thought I had a good grasp of grammar because I loved English classes and usually made A’s. But a few decades after graduating, I’d forgotten some things and developed bad habits. Plus, a few standards had changed over the years. I became appalled at the glaring errors I made, not only in this piece, but in years of blogging and newsletter writing. I wanted to go back and edit all my blog posts.

The two major errors the editor pointed out stuck with me. Perhaps the sting of the criticism embedded those issues deeper than they otherwise would have been. I still wish the editor might have found something positive to say. But ultimately, I was thankful for the correction because it led to a vast improvement in my writing and a new watchfulness. In fact, at the same conference the following year, two of my contest pieces won awards, which was a great encouragement.

(By the way, don’t let this experience deter you from submitting a manuscript for critique if you have the opportunity. My subsequent critiques at other conferences were much more positive experiences.)

Oddly, we all know we’re far from perfect, but we bristle when anyone points out our flaws. When someone discreetly lets me know my slip is showing or tucks a tag into my collar, I’m initially irritated. After a minute, I remind myself they are just trying to help. I really don’t want to venture out with a drooping slip or visible clothing tag, so ultimately I am grateful someone took the time to save me from further embarrassment.

The Bible repeatedly emphasizes the benefit of listening to correction:

The ear that listens to life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise. Whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence (Proverbs 15:31-32).

A fool despises his father’s instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is prudent (Proverbs 15:5).

Poverty and disgrace come to him who ignores instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is honored. (Proverbs 13:18).

Like a gold ring or an ornament of gold is a wise reprover to a listening ear
(Proverbs 25:12).

It is better for a man to hear the rebuke of the wise than to hear the song of fools (Ecclesiastes 7:5).

Think of students, athletes, musicians, and others: none of them would learn and grow if no one pointed out their mistakes or strengthened them where they were weak.

A quote of C. H. Spurgeon’s inspires me when I balk at criticism or suggestion: “Brother, if any man thinks ill of you, do not be angry with him; for you are worse than he thinks you to be.”

Of course, not all criticism is justified. When I consider a book from an author I don’t know, I look at the one- and two-star reviews as well as the five-star ones. Some of the lower reviews reveal problems with the book, but some are ridiculous.

And some people go overboard, acting as if criticism is a spiritual gift, constantly sharing their seemingly superior wisdom and opinions when they’re not called for. A study of how—and whether—to graciously offer counsel would be a subject for another blog post, but James tells us “The wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere” (3:17).

My first response to any criticism should be to examine it to see if there is any merit to it. Maybe the person is just critical or doesn’t understand. But instead of assuming so, I need to accept that they are probably trying to help. Even if they are a little off, there might be some seed of truth in their observation.

Also, instead of avoiding criticism, I need to ask for it. That first manuscript critique was hard to take, but it was also a spur to humility and an eye-opening realization of how much I still needed to learn. Reading books and blog posts about writing helps, but joining a critique group has been one of the best steps I’ve taken to improve my writing. If we want to grow in any area, it’s vital to put ourselves in a position to learn from those who know more than we do and receive their correction and advice.

I don’t think anyone likes criticism. But if we receive it humbly, look for truth in it, and improve from it, we are blessed.

Has any criticism or correction helped you?

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

The Most Important Way to Change

Posted on July 23, 2023 by Barbara Harper

If we become concerned about a character trait we see in ourselves that we’d like to change, we might search Google for blog posts. “Ten Ways to Tame Your Temper” or “Six Ways to Curb a Sharp Tongue.” *

We might read a book on the subject, seek counsel, or even do a topical Bible study.

We might set standards and rules for ourselves.

There’s nothing wrong with any of those approaches. I’ve used them all and found help in each one.

But we often forget the primary means God gave us to change.

“And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit” (2 Corinthians 3:18).

We’re changed bit by bit by beholding His glory.

Well, how does that work?

When Moses asked to see God’s glory, God said, “I will make all my goodness pass before you.” Then “the Lord passed before him and proclaimed, ‘The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness” (Exodus 33:18-23; 34:5-7).

GotQuestions defines the glory of God as “the beauty of His spirit . . . that emanates from His character, from all that He is.”

John Piper says, “The glory of God is the manifest beauty of his holiness. It is the going-public of his holiness. It is the way he puts his holiness on display for people to apprehend. So, the glory of God is the holiness of God made manifest.”

When we read and study our Bibles or listen to sermons, we don’t just look for principles, helpful as those are. We look for God. What does this passage say about Him? What is it demonstrating to me about Him? We behold Him, see Him, worship Him in all His goodness.

When I’m battling pride, nothing helps me more than thinking of Jesus, “who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Philippians 2:6-8).

When I’m craving things I shouldn’t have, I think of Jesus being tempted with bread after 40 days of fasting in the wilderness. He had a legitimate need to eat, but He resisted Satan’s temptations to partake on his terms.

When I have trouble loving others as I should, I think how Jesus loved me when I was unlovable and undeserving.

When I’d rather hold a grudge than forgive, I think how He has forgiven me so much more than anything I’m asked to forgive others.

When I see Him in the gospels meeting people’s needs, busy but not stressed, I’m helped to avoid becoming frenzied with all I need to do.

Interruptions are my biggest pet peeves. Realizing that the incident with the woman with the issue of blood was an interruption to Jesus’ journey to heal Jairus’ daughter added a dimension to these situations I had not realized before. Jesus was not ruffled at the delay. He took it in stride.

When I behold Him, I see my limitations. I’m painfully aware I am not Him. I’m humbled to realize just how much I need Him.

When I behold Him, anxiety flees away. He can take care of any problem that comes up.

Hannah Anderson wrote in Humble Roots: How Humility Grounds and Nourishes Your Soul about the Colossians who “believed they could reach purity by adhering to certain standards” and were “holding fast to their regulations” instead of Christ.

Ultimately the Colossians’ pride was revealed by what they were looking at, by what had captured their attention. Instead of being concerned with eternal realities, they were concerned with regulating temporary realities. Instead of being consumed with Christ’s glory, they were consumed with their own. But it is only by beholding Christ that we are changed. It is only by beholding Christ who Himself took “on the form of a servant” that we learn to serve each other (p. 94).

Standards and regulations have their place. But real heart change occurs as we behold God’s glory.

May our heart’s cry be like David’s:

O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory. Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you (Psalm 63:1-3).

One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple (Psalm 27:4).