Disappointment

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No one likes to disappoint others. We’ve experienced disappointment when others have failed to live up to our expectations, and we don’t want to inflict that on anyone else. Too many people only give half an effort, or are too self-absorbed to extend themselves to others, and we don’t want to be like that. We want to do what we can for others, and we want the important people in our lives happy with us.

Those perfectly natural desires can become an unhealthy obsession, leading us to become frantic “people-pleasers” motivated by self-love due to how good we feel when we meet others’ needs.

But aside from that lopsided perspective, it’s certainly not wrong to want to please others in whatever legitimate way we can. Yet we soon find that we just can’t do everything that everyone would like for us to. Randy Alcorn wrote once that he had to say no to about 99% of the requests that came his way. The standard reply his assistant sends to most requests is, “Randy has to say no to the great majority of good opportunities so that he can say yes to the very few God wants him to do.”

It’s a hard balance to maintain, to be available to minister to others as God wants us to, even to the point of pain and self-sacrifice sometimes, yet not to spread ourselves so thin that everything suffers. Randy honed in on the key: finding out what God wants us to do. You’ve heard the old illustration of the professor showing his students that pouring in the small things into a jar first left no room for the big ones. But when the big items were put in first, and then the smaller ones fit around them.

And we can trust God for the disappointment this will cause others. If He does not want us to meet their request, He has another person or plan in mind. Maybe your lack of availability will be the catalyst someone else needs to step up. Maybe a lack of someone to fill that need will lead those involved to see that that program or ministry or whatever needs to be set aside or changes need to be made. During the few short years we home-schooled, we were part of a large home school support group that had grown from a handful of moms. When the lady in charge of it had to step down due to the birth of her seventh child, the group floundered for the next year. But in the meantime, the moms decided they really did want the group to continue, and several different ladies took different aspects of it. It had gotten too big for one person, but no one really realized that until that person had to step down.

One thing we learn when others disappoint us or have to say no to a request is that they are not God. Only He can meet all of our needs. I can’t meet all of anyone else’s needs, either. I don’t have to feel guilty that I can’t.That lack may cause them to lean more on Him.

But even He disappoints people. When Jesus lived in Earth, other people had certain expectations of what the Messiah would do, but Jesus did not meet them. Once, after healing and casting demons out of people the day before, Jesus went out alone to pray. When the disciples found Him, they told Him everyone was looking for Him, presumably to come back and keep healing. But He said, “Let us go on to the next towns, that I may preach there also, for that is why I came out.” Though He did heal as part of His ministry on earth, His main purpose was to preach.

In those cases, Jesus didn’t disappoint them deliberately, but He couldn’t do what others wanted because it wasn’t in line with His and the Father’s mission. Sometimes those people were seeking their own desires or they misunderstood His purposes and character. Part of their adjustment to right understanding was having wrong expectations unfulfilled.

Other times, he disappointed people temporarily because He had a greater purpose in mind. Mary and Martha grieved when Jesus did not respond to their summons that Lazarus was sick until it was too late. But a greater miracle than healing awaited them all, and a greater demonstration of who He was. If He had come at their first request,  everyone would have expected Him to heal Lazarus. And if Lazarus had died while Christ was present and then Jesus resurrected him, there may have been some accusation of collusion or trickery. Sometimes He has to say no to this request because down the road He’s sending that.

In Paul’s case, God said no to his request that his thorn be removed because God wanted Paul to know His grace in a special way, and that example has provided comfort for countless readers even hundreds of years later.

Parents understand that they have to disappoint their children sometimes. Though they’d dearly love to meet every request, to do so would be unhealthy and unwise. Children don’t always understand why they can’t eat candy for breakfast, or why they need a nap, or why they can’t play in the street or go to the zoo. Learning that we can’t have everything we want when we want it is is a life lesson we all need and a step toward maturity. Then we understand that everything we want isn’t good for us and it’s a mercy we don’t always get it. Likewise, though we don’t always understand what our heavenly Father is up to, we trust His love and wisdom when He delays or refuses a request.

Sometimes we disappoint people without even realizing it. We didn’t know they had certain expectations. We won’t know unless they tell us. Newly married couples experience this as they adjust to living with each other and getting to know each other better, and of course people interacting in almost any way can experience this. If someone disappoints us in that way, we don’t sit back and fume or withdraw from them because “they should have known.” We have to decide whether we should just overlook the issue and manage our expectations or have a talk with the other person, but we don’t expect them to be mind readers.

There have been times I firmly believed the person telling me “No” was in the wrong. Someone instilled in me a long time ago the principle that “You can’t say no until you pray about it.” Sometimes I have faced opportunities that were too big for me, yet I did not feel the liberty to say no to them, and I saw God work and provide in marvelous ways that I would have missed if I had followed my first inclination and said no. But it was not my place to convince others that God really wanted them to do what I asked. As I appealed to God, He could either change the other person’s heart or supply someone else to meet the request.

If disappointment is a feeling that results from someone else failing us, Jesus experienced that every day. But the time that most touches my heart was in Gethsemane. Many times Jesus went out to pray alone, but that time He wanted the companionship of His friends to watch with Him before the events leading up to the cross were going to start. But they fell asleep instead.

If we’re in authority over someone else, as a parent, supervisor, teacher, mentor, etc., sometimes we have to deal with their failure to meet expectations in more stringent ways. Sometimes a rebuke, reminder, further instruction and training, or even punishment is needed. Jesus certainly employed each of those when dealing with people. But sometimes, as in Gethsemane, He extended grace, acknowledging that those who disappointed Him were only human. “As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust” (Psalm 103:13-14, ESV).

And if someone actually sins against us, the Bible prescribes methods of confronting them and admonitions to forgive them.

So, to come full circle: when others disappoint us, we respond in whatever way is needed. If it is a matter of actual sin, we may need to take other action. If we’re in a position of authority over them, we don’t let them get away with laziness or lack of effort, but we understand that no one is perfect. If we’re not their authority, we may try to persuade them to take the matter to God before saying no. But if they still say no, we leave it with the Lord to change their hearts or to provide another way.

And because we want to treat others as we want to be treated, we don’t say no to others callously or lightly. We seek the Lord to see whether this request is from Him, even if it seems beyond us, and we depend on Him to enable us. But we understand that we cannot meet the needs of everyone in our sphere of influence. We are not God: only He is. If we have to say no, we do so kindly and encourage others to seek Him for their needs, trusting that He will either meet their needs in another way or give them the grace to do without. If we’ve sinned, we confess that to the Lord and the other person, repent, and do what we can to make restitution. If we have disappointed someone unwittingly, we apologize, talk out the issues, and correct our actions accordingly as much as possible.

But on either side of disappointment, we come to know that no one loves us as thoroughly as God does, no one else is as wise, no one else has the power and provision to meet all our needs. And even if He seems to disappoint us sometimes, we trust that in His love and wisdom, He has something better in mind than what we originally wanted. And sometimes He teaches us, grows us, shapes us, matures us through lessons of disappointment.

And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you.
Psalm 39:7, ESV

What have you learned from disappointment?

(Sharing with Inspire Me Monday, Literary Musing Monday, Tell His Story, Let’s Have Coffee, Woman to Woman Word-filled Wednesday, Wise Woman, Porch Stories, Faith on Fire. Links do not imply 100% endorsement)

Laudable Linkage

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I don’t usually do these every Saturday, but I accumulated a lot of good reads this week.

10 Reasons Americans Go to Church – and 9 Reasons They Don’t, HT to Lisa. “But this study suggests that there is an under-served group of believers who seem like they’d actually like to go to religious services — if only someone could help get them there and welcome them when they arrive.”

God’s No Is a Yes, HT to True Woman.

Ask Someone Older Than You, HT to Lisa. Advice on how to get help in making an important decision.

How to Ruin Your Life in Your Twenties, HT to True Woman.

You Are Not Your Temptations, HT to True Woman.

What Is Encouragement? HT to Challies. Yes, yes, yes! I wrote recently about well-meant encouragement that is too self-focused and “puffs up.” This post describes what encouragement actually is and does. If I had a rating system for blog posts, this would garner the ultimate number of stars.

What Do People Mean by “Coming Into the Presence of God?” HT to Challies. This is something I have contemplated, too. I’ve seen many people say that we should “invite” God into situations (or worse yet, ask Him to “show up“). But He is always with us. I suspect the mindset might be something like that of people in the same room but all on their phones or doing something else, then a call to meet together has everyone putting everything else aside to pay attention to the other people. But God is always paying attention, never distracted from us. So it’s not that we need to invite Him in – we need to lay aside our distractions and focus on Him.

Cringing at Church: What It’s Like as an Autistic Person in Your Congregation, HT to Challies.

Was the Early Church Communist? HT to Challies. No, but some think so. Here’s why not.

The Boy Who’d Never Tasted an Apple, HT to Story Warren. A parable for kids about sex.

And, finally, I couldn’t help laughing along with this:

Happy Saturday!

Friday’s Fave Five

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FFF daisies
It’s Friday, time to look back over the blessings of the week with Susanne at Living to Tell the Story and other friends.

It’s been a busy week! Here are some of the best parts:

1. Labor Day. It was nice to have a Monday off and an excuse for grilled burgers with the usual accompaniments. Jason, Mittu, and Timothy had not been feeling well for nearly a week, but were able to come over that evening.

2. Getting my physical over with. Not something I look forward to, but it’s nice to get it over with for another year. No major issues this time, thankfully. And I even had some good news: My cholesterol numbers were much improved from last time. The only major change I made was switching to oatmeal and whole wheat toast for breakfast most mornings (as opposed to the bacon and egg sandwiches I used to have…).

3. Successful blood draws and nurses who pray over them. My veins don’t like to give up their contents. It usually takes a few attempts for a nurse to draw blood from them. This time, just before the third try, the nurse prayed, “Lord Jesus, help us,” and when the blood finally flowed, she said, “Thank you, Jesus.”

4. Finally getting a haircut. The stylist I like only works two days a week because she has young children and wants to be with them rather than working full time. I support and applaud that, and I really like her personally. But sometimes it’s hard to get in on the days she’s there. Our schedules came together this week, though, and I feel less shaggy. 🙂

5. Getting a number of little things done: getting a package to the post office, making a couple of deliveries, clearing accumulated clutter off a counter, and doing some rearranging in the pantry. I had requested for my birthday these plastic baskets with handles. They hold some of the small, loose items in the pantry, and the handle makes it easier to pull them out to get what I need.

Bonus: Jason sent me this photo of Timothy “having a meeting.” His daddy works from home, so he’s seen plenty of such meetings. 🙂

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Happy Friday!

Book Review: Helen Roseveare: On His Majesty’s Service

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Roseveare Helen Roseveare was a missionary to the Belgian Congo in Africa, later named Zaire, from 1953-1973. I first became aware of her through Faithful Women and Their Extraordinary God by Noel Piper several years ago. I wanted to read more about her, so when I saw Helen Roseveare: On His Majesty’s Service by Irene Howat on sale for the Kindle app, I decided to try it, even though it was part of the Trailblazer series of biographies for children.

The first few chapters deal with Helen’s childhood in England: terrorizing nannies with her brother, moving several times due to her father’s job, going to boarding school in Wales. She had a strong desire to be first and best at as much as she could, and she didn’t make friends very easily. In a Sunday School class, she decided she wanted to be a missionary even before she became a Christian. Confirmation classes in her church caused her to take a more serious look at herself, but it was in a camp some years later that she became a believer. She became quite conscientious.

As a teenager during WWII, Helen wrestled with the devastation and unfairness of it all, especially the unfitness of young people losing their lives. Once when a German plane was shot down, Helen was horrified to learn that her mother was among the people trying to save the young man, though he later died. Her mother explained that he was just a boy fighting for his country, like their boys, and had a home and family.

Helen became involved in helping at camps and the GCU (Girl Crusader’s Union) while in college. She never lost her desire to be a missionary doctor, and soon after college she went through missionary training and then went to the Congo. She was plunged into medical service right away. From her earliest days she felt the need to train the national workers and open a nursing school. She had to set up a hospital from the ground up, with students and church members and even patients helping.

But civil unrest was rumbling in the distance and drawing ever closer. Helen had opportunity to leave many times, but she felt she should remain. Finally rebel soldiers did take over Helen’s area. Probably because this is a children’s book, the author did not go into much detail or mention the multiple rapes Helen endured. She sums it up this way:

Things too terrible to tell happened to her at the hands of Congolese rebel soldiers, things so horrible and shocking that she wished she were dead. In a way that we cannot understand they were part of God’s plan for her and she knew that, even at the time. With her body battered and broken and her back teeth kicked out, Helen survived when others did not. But she survived to endure further months of terror.

After several months of captivity and cruelty, Helen and a few others were released and sent back to England for a long recovery.

After fifteen months, went back to Africa, to Zaire, building more hospitals and training more medical workers.

When Helen went back to England years later, she stayed active speaking at schools, GCU gatherings, and churches. When someone wanted to make a film of her life, she traveled back to a warm welcome in Zaire and was thrilled to see how the work was progressing.

One of the most well-known stories of her life was one I had heard but didn’t realize happened to Helen until I read it in Faithful Women and Their Extraordinary God. It’s told in detail here. A woman had come to the hospital in labor with a premature baby. They could not save the woman, but the baby was safely delivered. Yet they had no way to keep the baby warm: they usually used hot water bottles, but were out. The baby also had a two-year-old sister. When Helen had prayer with the orphan children the next day, she told them of the little girl and baby and the need for hot water bottles. One ten-year-old girl named Ruth began to spontaneously pray:

God, please send a hot water bottle so that this little baby doesn’t die. And, God, it will be no use sending it tomorrow because we need it today. And, God, while you’re at it, will you send a dolly for the baby’s sister who is crying because her mummy has died.

Helen “didn’t think the Lord could do that.” But that very afternoon a truck delivered a parcel containing soap, bandages, babe sweaters…and a hot water bottle and a doll! Helen tells this story here:

Since this book was published in 2008, it doesn’t contain information about Helen’s death in 2016 at the age of 91. Zaire is now known as the Democratic Republic of the Congo.

The writing in this book is not the best: it’s a little choppy, with several odd scenes involving unnamed people that I think were made up in an effort to illustrate something in Helen’s life. But It’s still a good book overall, with a good overview of Helen’s life.

(Sharing with Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books,  Literary Musing Monday, Carole’s Books You Loved)

 

The Ministry of the Mundane

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One morning I chafed over having to go to the grocery store – again. I had just gone the day before, but that store didn’t have everything I needed, plus we were getting ready for company and needed a few extras. I groused inwardly about spending way too much of my life in stores and how I had other things I’d much rather be doing.

All of a sudden the thought came to mind, “She bringeth her food from afar.”

You might recognize that as part of the Proverbs 31 woman‘s description. In fact, a lot of what she did was everyday, seemingly mundane stuff: planting, cooking, sewing, weaving, buying, selling. In those days, with no Amazon, super Wal-Marts, or even grocery or clothing stores, most of what she made for herself, her family, and her home was done by hand, from scratch.

Thankfully I don’t have to weave my own cloth. I don’t even have to go too much “afar” to gather my food. We have four grocery stores within a ten-minute drive, and all but one of them lets customers order online and pick up their groceries curbside. So I really don’t have anything to complain about.

It helps me to realize, or remember, that gathering and preparing food is part of what I am supposed to do. Somebody has to do it. My husband doesn’t mind going to the store for me sometimes, but I don’t like to ask him since he already works more than 40 hours a week and then has yard work and house maintenance on top of that.

But realizing it’s part of my job helps me not to chafe: this is just as important as anything else that seems more valuable. It’s part of my ministry to my family.

I’ve wondered why so much of life is made of the mundane. A friend who was a missionary said that when she first went to the field, she had no idea she would be spending so much time in the kitchen. I remember Elisabeth Elliot writing about dealing with a recalcitrant stove or heater and wondering at how much time, especially in a third world country, is made up of such activities. I remember hearing a missionary lady once say that in her country, they still had milkmen pick up their empty milk bottles, and part of her testimony and reputation involved having clean milk bottles out on her porch at the appointed time.

As I have been pondering these things the last few days, I came up with a few possible reasons so many mundane tasks.

The rubber meets the road in those everyday duties. It’s easy to think about loving and serving our fellow man or woman while at home in a quiet, pleasant room with our Bibles. It’s another thing when our fleshly nature bumps up against each other in the real world.

A good work ethic is a testimony to others. Luther was purported to have said, “The Christian shoemaker does his Christian duty not by putting little crosses on the shoes, but by making good shoes.” This article disputes that. I understand the article’s view that it’s not something Luther would have said, but I don’t totally agree with their logic. Perhaps you’ve known someone who thought they served God better by witnessing to people than by doing their job. But we’re admonished to do our work “heartily, as unto the Lord.” We’ve all experienced the pangs of faulty workmanship, employees or even ministry partners who do a slipshod job, creating problems and frustration for fellow-workers, bosses, customers. Sure, we have Mary and Martha‘s example, and we know it’s possible to have wrong priorities, and we need to set aside the earthly for the heavenly sometimes. But when it’s time to work, it’s time to do it well and efficiently.

These tasks teach patience, endurance, perseverance, fortitude, service, thoughtfulness of others.

I can’t do even these things in the right way and spirit without God’s help and grace. I just stumbled across this quote in my files from Oswald Chambers (source unknown): “The things Jesus did were the most menial of tasks, and this is an indication that it takes all of God’s power in me to accomplish even the most common tasks in His way. Can I use a towel as He did?” God filled the workmen of the tabernacle with “the Spirit of God, with ability and intelligence, with knowledge and all craftsmanship.” He goes on to say, “I have given to all able men ability, that they may make all that I have commanded you” (Exodus 31:1-6, ESV).

Ministry to others can be shown through the mundane. Someone said of Francis and Edith Shaeffer, “As many people were brought to the Lord through Mrs. Schaeffer’s cinnamon buns as through Dr. Schaeffer’s sermons!” Practical help is just as needful as spiritual help.

When Amy Carmichael’s ministry began to change from evangelism to caring for children, she questioned whether God had really called her to be a “nursemaid” when there were so many other needs and ways she could be used. “It was then that she read the words from John 13, how the Lord of glory ‘took a towel and girded Himself.’…never again did she question whether her gifts were being wasted. She knew that the Master never wastes the servant’s time.” (Amy Carmichael of Dohnavur by Frank Houghton)

Mr. Houghton also writes that, “Occasionally someone suggested that character-training of boys and girls…or, still more, the erection of buildings to house them, was not evangelistic work, and therefore not worthy of support.” Amy wrote, “Well, one cannot save and then pitchfork souls into heaven…and as for buildings, souls (in India, at least) are more or less securely fastened into bodies. Bodies cannot be left to lie about in the open, and as you cannot get the souls out and deal with them separately, you have to take them both together.”

We don’t always necessarily have to be doing anything “spiritual” to show forth the fruit of the Holy Spirit. One of my favorite blogger friends writes about what’s going on in her home and family, but even in her homemaking tasks she reflects the spirit of a woman who walks closely with God. She’s not trying to show that: it just shines through her. In everything she shows “a sense of Him.”

Perhaps, too, the weight of physical, everyday tasks is a reminder that we live in a physical world with limitations and constant needs. That reminder increases our anticipation and longing for the day we’ll be released from these bodies and this world.

At any rate, my perspective changed that day. I had no thought of Labor Day when I first started compiling these thoughts, but perhaps it’s appropriate on this particular day to remind ourselves that “In all labor there is profit, But mere talk leads only to poverty” (Proverbs 14:23, NASB).

I still need to remind myself frequently that my physical tasks are as needful and important as any type of ministry task. I can do them as unto the Lord. Sure, there are ways I can improve: e.g, planning better can help reduce the number of trips to the store. And I still have plenty of time for things like reading and writing – much more time than the Proverbs 31 woman had. But I can serve, as she did, with strength, dignity, industriousness, kindness, and reverence. Even at the grocery store.

(Sharing with Inspire Me Monday, Literary Musing Monday, Tell His Story, Let’s Have Coffee, Porch Stories, Faith on Fire)

Laudable Linkage

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Welcome to my latest round-up of noteworthy reads around the web:

The Error of Counterfeit Holiness. “Making holiness primarily consist of externals confuses what holiness is versus what holiness does. Defining holiness by what it does leads to works-dependence. Defining holiness by what it is leads to God-dependence.”

How Self-esteem Ruins Bible Reading.

Share Ministry, Even If It’s No Big Deal, Because It Actually Is, HT to Challies.

Why I Abandoned Seeker Church, HT to Challies. Lots of good thoughts here.

Difficult Relationship? Write an Action Statement.

Our Bodies and Birth Trauma This Side of Eden, HT to True Woman.

God Calls Me to Motherhood and Art. How Do I Do Both? HT to Story Warren.

The Spiritual Discipline of Driving With the Radio Off, HT to Linda. I do like the radio or an audiobook on in the car, but I need and treasure silent moments in other parts of the day.

And finally, a couple of thoughts from Pinterest:

Happy Saturday!

Friday’s Fave Five

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FFF daisies
It’s Friday, time to look back over the blessings of the week with Susanne at Living to Tell the Story and other friends.

It’s been a good week! I rested the first part of it, after having all the family here the week before, then caught up on laundry and such, then transitioned back into a regular week. Here are some of the highlights:

1. A day at the park. Saturday was the only day everyone had off, and among all the possibilities of what we could do, we chose a picnic lunch at a park. Granddad and Timothy got to fly kites for a bit, and the other boys tried out Jim’s drone. Then we went to the playground area –  a very nice one!

2. A playdate with Timothy. That’s what his parents call it when we babysit. 🙂 All the kids went to a restaurant. A few times Timothy mentioned missing them, but one time he said, “I like spending time with you and Granddad, too!” ♥

3. A fun Sunday. Jeremy’s flight left, unfortunately, right in the middle of church time. We weren’t inclined to drop him off way early or have only one of us take him while everyone else went to church, so all of us but Jesse went to the airport. Saying good-bye was not fun. But afterward we went to a nearby coffee shop thinking Timothy would be able to watch planes come in and out for a while. We ended up not seeing any planes at that point. But it was a pleasant day to sit outside. Plus Jeremy texted pictures of his progress in the airport for Timothy (and us) to see: displays in the airport, the coffee shop he visited, the walkway to the airplane, the inside of it, the outside when they exited on the tarmac at his layover, etc. That was fun for all of us to share. We kept track of when his plane was taxiing and did get to see it take off in the distance. Then, Mittu had noticed a Mexican food restaurant nearby, so we decided to go get lunch. The restaurant turned out to be not so good (food on the floor, torn seating, cold food, unfriendly waitress). But Timothy enjoyed the colorfulness, and we did get to see several planes coming in for a landing. I spent the rest of Sunday alternating between sleeping and reading, with a brief interruption to heat some leftovers for dinner.

4. Phone fans. Where have these been all my life?! Jason and Mittu put a couple in the pinata we had for Jeremy’s birthday. I think she said she found them at a dollar store. You just plug them in and they come on – no apps, no on and off signal.

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5. Brownies with a dollop on peanut butter on top. Mmmmm.

Happy Friday!

End-of-month chatting

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We’re still full-fledged into summer here. We’ve had a few cooler days, but the humidity is still high. Technically summer is here until September 21, and it probably won’t start feeling like fall until some time after that.

Since we don’t have anyone in school (my youngest is taking college classes online year-round), we escape some of the back-to-school hubbub, except that I did happen to be in Wal-Mart during the tax-free weekend just before school started. Though the school supply area was swamped, the rest of the store was fine. Otherwise school being back in session doesn’t affect us much at this point except for avoiding certain traffic areas at certain times a day.

Our big week during the summer was last week, when my oldest son was here for ten days. My husband took the week off, though he did have to do some emails and conferences calls most mornings. Jesse and Jason couldn’t take off the same days, since they work at the same place, but they each had a day or two off to spend time with Jeremy. We celebrated both Jeremy’s birthday and mine that week (I shared about those in last week’s Friday’s Fave Five), had a few outings, played games, and hung out around the house. I think it was a nice blend of doing and resting.

It never gets easier to say good-bye, but this time Jason, Mittu, and Timothy came with Jim and me to drop Jeremy off at the airport. Then we stopped at a nearby coffee shop and sat in their outdoor area to try to see Jeremy’s airplane take off. For Timothy’s sake, Jeremy texted photos of the tunnel to the plane, the inside of the plane, the outside when they had to deplane on the tarmac, etc. I miss the days when you could walk someone down to their gate, sit with them til they boarded, and wave at them when the plane backed away. But this was the next best thing, and a lot of fun. We thought we’d see lots of planes, being so close to the airport. We didn’t, but we did keep track of when Jeremy’s was taking off and saw his plane in the distance.

We had a bit of a shock this month when hospice called and said they were going to  drop my mother-in-law from their care because, by all the standards they can measure, she wasn’t declining. It seemed odd that, if she qualified for hospice three years ago, and she has declined since then, that she would no longer be eligible. My husband met with her doctor, nurses, social worker, and chaplain, and discussed her situation and how she has declined. They reviewed her case and recertified her for another 60 days. I hope we don’t have to go through this every 60 days from here on out. But I guess we’ll have to play it by ear.

Here are some other tidbits from the last month:

What I’ve learned:

  • How to do gifs and stickers in texts. A small thing, and not hard, but whenever I learn anything new technologically, I feel really good about myself. 🙂
  • How to order in Starbucks. 🙂 I don’t go there mainly because I don’t like flavored coffees and pretty much drink just plain decaf with a bit of creamer, but also because I don’t know the lingo. On the way to the airport I grilled Jeremy about whether SB would even have plain decaf and how to ask for the size I wanted. Another small thing, but now I can confidently go in if I am with someone who wants to stop there.

What I’ve been watching:

  • America’s Got Talent (You have to be careful with it, because even though they call it a family show, there are a few acts that should not be on a family show. So we fast-forward through a few things.)
  • Making It. This is a new one that looks like it should be on PBS or HGTV. It’s a competition for crafters. It takes a bit for the dry humor of the hosts to grow on you, but I have been enjoying it. And it has been renewed for a second season.
  • Unbroken. I loved this book and have been wanting to watch the movie for a long time. Unfortunately, they threw in a few bad words (actually before the hard parts where it would have been more understandable). But otherwise, very good. When it first came out, I had heard complaints that the movie didn’t show the influence of Zamperini’s faith. But the movie didn’t cover his whole life: it ended right when he came home from being a POW. And the afterword did share that he “made good on his promise” to serve God and eventually came to a place of forgiving the Japanese, even returning to Japan. There are several neat cinematic touches in addition to the compelling story.
  • Mary Poppins. I saw about half of it with Timothy, and enjoyed watching him giggle in parts.

What I’ve been wondering:

  • Did people really sing songs together while they worked a long time ago? A book I read mentioned a sea shanty being sung by sailors as they rowed, and that prompted the question. According to Wikipedia, they did. There are songs associated with other types of work as well. I wonder if any of these songs are still sung as work songs, or whether recorded music is used when a certain rhythm and synchronicity is needed. It would seem so strange in this day and time to sing with your coworkers.
  • I read a while back that because we have ready-made music available and on so much, people don’t make their own music any more. I think the advent of YouTube may have changed that. But my aunt told me one time that when they were young, they’d gather around the piano and sing as a family, just like you see on old movies.
  • Much has been written about the decline of robust congregational singing, blaming it on the professionalism and loudness of worship bands in church and the lack of singability or unfamiliarity of many contemporary songs. But I wonder if the fact that we don’t sing together as a society in almost any context any more plays a big part in it.
  • On another subject: why do fast food restaurants toss condiment packets in by the handful, even if you say you only want one or two? I know they probably don’t cost much individually, but I am sure they add up! Some we just keep them on hand and use eventually, but others get tossed because we don’t use them beyond that one meal.
  • I also wonder at the tendency to over-notify. I have three different places on Facebook that tell me I have a new post (one is enough!) Twitter shows me new tweets yet also shows me some again “In case you missed it” and then will show me some of those same tweets in my notifications. I don’t sign up for many sales notices for companies because they send them 4-5 times a week. Drives me crazy! Once a week is more than enough. All this over-notifying actually works against those who do it. I have any sales emails sent through a filter so I don’t even see them. If I am going to a place and looking for a sale or coupon, I’ll look through that folder. On anything that lets me adjust settings, I set it so as not to receive push notifications on my phone.

What I am making:

We had two birthdays and an anniversary this month – but one of the birthdays was mine, so I didn’t make a card for it. 🙂 We also had a baby shower, but since that one has not yet been given, I’ll wait to show it. I don’t think the recipient reads my blog, but I want to be safe. 🙂

This was for Jason and Mittu’s anniversary:

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The couple and smaller heart were made using the Cricut. The burlap and lace background was from a pack of scrapbooking paper one of the kids got me for Mother’s Day (or Christmas?) I printed the wording out on the computer and used scalloped scissors for the top and bottom.

This was for Jeremy’s birthday:

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The birch trees were cut out on the Cricut and then glued onto grey paper. The fox was a sticker, but made of fuzzy material and with a sticky pad on the back so it was raised. The sign was supposed to be reminiscent of signs you’d see tacked onto a tree (like wanted signs on cartoon. 🙂 Maybe I should have phrased it like a wanted poster!) The little wood frame probably takes away from that idea. But I still like it. And I did find and install a font that looks like carving on wood (something else I learned this month!)

Around the blog:

Besides the book reviews, Fridays Fave Fives, and occasional Laudable Linkages:

It wasn’t deliberate, but the theme for the month seems to be focus.

I discussed what I was reading on my What’s On Your Nightstand post earlier this week. I am particularly enjoying the The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. I am listening to the audiobook but may see if the library has a print copy. I am also getting a lot out of my ESV Study Bible. The notes are quite helpful. Plus I just finished Malachi, and they had a lot of supplemental material inbetween it and the start of the New Testament with Matthew.

And that, I think, is about all for this chat. 🙂 Thanks for reading.

(Sharing with “What I’m Into” at Leigh Kramer’s)

 

What’s On Your Nightstand: August 2018

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Nightstand82The folks at 5 Minutes For Books host What’s On Your Nightstand the last Tuesday of each month in which we can share about the books we have been reading and/or plan to read.

As we near the end of another month, it’s time to recap what we’ve read.

Since last time I have completed:

The Hunchback of Notre Dame by Victor Hugo, reviewed here. Not my favorite classic or Hugo book, but I am glad to have read it. It kept me thinking for days afterward.

30 Days of Hope When Caring for Aging Parents  by Kathy Howard, reviewed here. Very good.

Full Assurance by Harry A. Ironside, reviewed here. Excellent study on what the Bible has to say about assurance of salvation.

The Pattern Artist by Nancy Moser, reviewed here. A maid from England accompanies her employers on a visit to America in 1911, then strikes out on her own. She lands a job in the sewing department of Macy’s and captures the attention of the Butterick Patterns salesman. Very good!

Back Home Again: Tales from the Grace Chapel Inn by Melody Carlson, reviewed here. Three sisters turn the old family home into a bed-and-breakfast, working through their own differences and town opposition. The first in a long series. Good.

Before We Were Yours by Lisa Wingate, reviewed here. Riveting historical fiction based on real circumstances concerning a woman who stole poor children and then placed them for adoption.

The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place: Book VI: The Long-Lost Home by Maryrose Wood, reviewed here. A fun and satisfying wrap-up to this series.

Reshaping It All: Motivation for Physical and Spiritual Fitness by Candace Cameron Bure, reviewed here. Cameron’s journey from bulimia and excess weight to fitness, inside and out. Very good.

I’m currently reading:

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society By Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows. Finally!

Helen Roseveare: On His Majesty’s Service by Irene Howat

Reclaim Your Life from IBS: A Scientifically Proven Plan for Relief without Restrictive Diets by Melissa G. Hunt

Up Next:

Christian Publishing 101 by Ann Byle

I’d like to reread, or at least look through again, Women of the Word by Jen Wilkin

Something from this stack and my ever-increasing Kindle collection:

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Are you reading anything good now?

Goals for the Second Half

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There’s always something to look forward to just beyond the horizon.

When we were children, we looked forward to high school and driver’s licenses. Then we couldn’t wait for dating and college. Then we longed for marriage and children.

Perhaps your life track has run a different course: perhaps your goals were tenure at your university, or making partner at your firm. Personal and professional goals intertwined.

And if God grants all of those gifts, we look forward to still more.

When we reach somewhere between age 40 and 50, we realize we’re at about the halfway point, if everything goes well. Soon we’ll be in the “second half” of life, with more days behind us than ahead of us. But there are still things we want to do. Some look forward to traveling during the “empty nest” years. Others finally projects off the back burner. We want to see our grandchildren grow, develop, learn, marry, and have children. We want to be here to have a part in influencing them for the Lord.

A few weeks ago, I was arrested by a couple of verses in the psalms reflecting the writer’s purpose for his remaining years:

O God, from my youth you have taught me,
    and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds.
So even to old age and gray hairs,
    O God, do not forsake me,
until I proclaim your might to another generation,
    your power to all those to come.
Psalm 71:17-18, ESV

I recently read of a man who was active in public ministry all his life. When his wife developed Alzheimer’s, he took care of her as long as he could at home. When she needed more care than he could give, she went to an assisted living facility. But he did not want the two of them to be separated: he joined her. He has an active ministry there leading Bible studies and services and talking with residents.

When my mother-in-law was in a memory care unit, I would feel somewhat down long after leaving the facility after visiting her. I can’t imagine voluntarily living in such a place while still in your right mind.

I think of this man’s national and even international ministries contrasted with his life now. His ministry is not evaluated by how many people he is reaching. He is faithfully serving the Lord right where he is supposed to be.

Many of us find that our “older years” turn out quite different from what we had expected due to illness (ours or our spouse’s), parents’ or children’s needs, financial considerations, or any number of issues. But wherever He has put us, we can proclaim His might and His power. We can share those with everyone, but the psalm above particularly speaks of “another generation…those to come.”

One generation shall commend your works to another,
    and shall declare your mighty acts.
On the glorious splendor of your majesty,
    and on your wondrous works, I will meditate.
They shall speak of the might of your awesome deeds,
    and I will declare your greatness.
They shall pour forth the fame of your abundant goodness
    and shall sing aloud of your righteousness.
Psalm 145:4-7, ESV

Psalm 78 also speaks of “things that we have heard and known, that our fathers have told us,” telling “to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done,” “that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments” (verses 2-7).

We can tell the next generation (whether our own descendants or others God brings across our path) the history of how God has worked in the lives of His people, as Psalm 78 goes on to do. We can share His Word, His law, His grace. And we can also share our Ebenezers, testimonies of how He ministered to us and provided for us. We can assure them that He is not just a God afar off in history, but He is God here and now, active in our lives and theirs.

Moses’s prayer in Psalm 90 asks God in the midst of the flying years (verse 10) to “teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom” (verse 12). Moses concludes:

Let your work be shown to your servants,
    and your glorious power to their children.
Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us,
    and establish the work of our hands upon us;
    yes, establish the work of our hands!
Psalm 90:16-17, ESV

It was down at the feet of Jesus,
O the blessed, happy day!
Where my soul found peace in believing,
And my sins were washed away.

It was down at the feet of Jesus,
Where I found such perfect rest,
Where the light first dawned on my spirit,
And my soul was fully blest.

It was down at the feet of Jesus,
Where I brought my guilt and sin,
That he paid my debt and forgave me,
For He died my soul to win.

Refrain:

Let me tell the old, old story
Of His grace so full and free;
Let my heart keep giving Him the glory
For His wondrous love to me.

~ Original words by Elisha Hoffman

(Sharing with Inspire Me Monday, Literary Musing Monday, Let’s Have Coffee, Porch Stories, Wise Woman, Woman to Woman Word-filled Wednesday, Faith on Fire)