Christian parenting | Stray Thoughts

Here are some thought-provoking reads found this week:

What Does It Mean to Be Discerning? “Spiritual discernment is the skill of distinguishing what is true from what is false, what is right from what is wrong, and what is wise from what is foolish. In its fullest form, it is the skill of distinguishing what is true from what is almost true, what is wise from what is wiser still, and what is a matter of absolute right and wrong from what is a matter of conscience or legitimate disagreement.”

Harness the Power of Failure. “You are going to fail at some point in your life. You will probably fail at many things at many points in your life. The question is not whether you will fail, but what you fail at and how you will handle your failure. Believe it or not, failure can be valuable if we think about it and respond to it rightly.”

The Best Way to Resist Temptation, HT to Challies. “People talk about resisting temptation. How exactly does that work? Not very well, in my experience—at least, not if you try to face it head on and just say ‘no’ and ‘no’ and ‘no’ over and over again until you’re worn ragged and hoarse and half-mad from the relentless effort. There is, of course, no way around the fact that resisting temptation requires effort. But I believe there is a better way to focus and expend that effort than to simply lock eyes with your temptation and see who blinks first.”

Rushing Our Quiet Times, HT to Challies. “How long should quiet times take? . . . Lately my answer to this question has become simple: the right length for a quiet time is long enough to be unhurried. An unhurried quiet time means there is enough time to soak in God’s word. Time to savour and meditate on it. Time to explore, to follow a cross-reference. Time to read slowly, to reflect and perhaps memorise some verses. Not rushing allows enough time for God’s word to change us.”

The Most Awkward, Important Part of Prayer, HT to Challies. “If you find yourself skipping a certain element of prayer—Adoration/praise, Confession, Thanksgiving, or Supplication/asking—which one of these is it likely to be? Which one is the most awkward for you? Which one might you find yourself thinking, ‘I’m not sure exactly what to say here,’ and shortening or eliminating that part? I’m going to wager that it’s the first part: Adoration.”

The Lord of the Traffic Jam, HT to Challies. “But none of these statistics are as big a challenge in my daily commute than my own sinful heart. I find that my commute is the most difficult environment in which to remember that I am in fact a Christian. Even in gridlock, I am an ambassador for Christ, called to shine the light of Christ to my half a million neighbours.”

The Genuine Beauty of a Fruitful Life. “Appearances can be copied, but true fruitfulness cannot be manufactured. As Christian women, we can become so deeply dazzled by counterfeit fruit that we lose sight of what God’s kingdom actually values. The beauty of a truly fruitful life is found in faithfulness to the King, whose work in us produces a legacy that endures long after every imitation fades.”

Are You Willing to Show Up? HT to Challies. “Friend, in a world that is disconnected and distant, let’s be the people who show up. Not just once or twice. Not to check off a box for good deed of the day. But to be present. Imperfectly, awkwardly, perhaps even wordlessly, present.”

Actually, Having a Baby Has Slowed Me Down, HT to Challies. “When I was nine months pregnant, a colleague of mine informed me that pregnancy didn’t slow his wife down. Good for her. To be fair, pregnancy barely slowed me down either. I worked out the entire time, kept up with my too-many jobs, submitted my doctoral dissertation, and even recorded the audiobook for Spirit-Filled Singing while dealing with the worst of my first trimester nausea. But having a baby? Having a baby has slowed me down.”

You Can’t Give Your Children What You Don’t Have, HT to Challies. “Look carefully at how the passage is structured: God doesn’t start by saying, ‘Teach your children My words.’ Rather, He starts with the father: ‘These words that I command you today shall be on your heart.’ What a significant and often overlooked foundation. The command to teach your children comes second.”

Does a Promiscuous Past Affect a Christian Marriage? HT to Challies. “There are earthly consequences to sexual sin that can affect a marriage. If I said there weren’t, I’d be a liar. So, let’s look at the claims and understand the true dangers. But if you’re someone who walked a path similar to mine, stick around because there is so much hope. I promise.”

The Dangerous Days Past Middle Age. “I have an image in my mind of the godly old lady I want to be someday: soft-spoken, kind to all, full of wisdom. Having logged half a century under God’s sanctifying sandpaper, I should be well on my way by now. And, taking stock, I can see that I don’t have to rein in my temper as much as I used to, and there’s precious little out there that tempts me to covet. What I am learning, however, is that as I age, I sin differently. Sin is still ‘crouching at the door.’ It just comes in a different form.”

If you’re not hungry for God, what’s ruining your appetite?

Some of the good reads found this week:

When Will Meta Stop Trying to Hurt Children? HT to Challies. This is disturbing. “Why would Meta provide AI chatbot guidance for its chatbots with the rationale: ‘It is acceptable to engage a child in conversations that are romantic or sensual?‘ It’s really as simple as it is disgusting: more engagement = more money. Let me explain.”

Are You Correctable? HT to Challies. “When someone corrects me, I automatically feel a little defensive. I think of all the reasons why I’m right and why the situation is more complicated than it appears. I want to come out looking like I’m not so bad, and that others would understand if they were in my shoes. I’m not alone. It’s not easy to receive correction from others. But being correctable is essential to our maturity and growth.”

Significant Others: Living Selfless While Single. “As a single woman, the sting of feeling unseen, unvalued, or overlooked can feel enormous. When you watch others receiving what you long for—and then go home to an empty house with no significant other to meet you at the door—it’s easy to feel . . . well, insignificant. But Scripture shows that true significance doesn’t come from being at the center of someone’s world.”

Seven Reasons (Almost) Every Man Should (Try to) Get Married, HT to Challies. I’ve seen a lot lately on how our shallower and more impersonal online tendencies seem to be eroding our propensity for deeper, long-term relationships. This article gives reasons why marriage, a particular type of deeper relationship, is a good thing.

The Better Way of Christian Parenting, HT to Challies. “Rather than grant your child’s every desire, your job as a parent is to use your God-given authority to redirect those desires toward righteousness (love of God and neighbor) and to train your child to righteously handle the common human experience of coping with the disappointment of unfulfilled desires.”

In a similar vein, Do You Love Your Children Enough to Displease Them? HT to Challies. “One of the hardest parts of parenting is displeasing our children. This often happens when we tell our kids ‘no’ or hold them accountable for their actions. We naturally want to please our children and give them good gifts, which reflects the character of our giving God (Matt. 7:11). However, this good desire can go too far and cause damage without proper boundaries.”

Parents, We’re Doing Too Much. “We’re too often in constant contact with our children. They don’t have any opportunities to learn critical thinking skills because they text us every question in their brains to get quick advice about what to say, which door to walk through, which paper to fill out, and on and on forever. Our kids need chances to assess situations for themselves, to reason through even very complicated scenarios, to rely on the Lord more than they rely on us. Kids need to have chances to make mistakes, to get embarrassed, to deal with drama, to learn that they can handle life.”

Is Spoiling Your Grandkids Blessing Them? “‘Grandchildren are the crown of the elderly’ (Prov. 17:6). Few things in life compare to the privilege of being a grandma, of holding in your arms a baby that was born to your own son or daughter. It really does feel like winning a crown! All other interests are set aside when there is an opportunity to spend time with that darling baby. Being a grandmother is truly a privilege. But have you ever stopped to think, Christian grandmother, about the huge responsibilities that come with this privilege?”

“I cannot trifle with the evil that killed my best Friend. I must be holy for His sake. How can I live in sin when He has died to save me from it?”–Charles Spurgeon.