Author Archives: Barbara Harper

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About Barbara Harper

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Our anniversary trip

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I’ve mentioned a couple of times that we had “special plans” for this week that had nothing to do with Christmas. As some of you may have guessed (or knew from Facebook), those plans did have to do with our anniversary!

We went to Charleston, SC Monday and came back Wednesday afternoon. We’ve been to Charleston twice before: one weekend with a tour group in our early married life, and years later taking all the boys to Folly Beach for several days, staying in a hotel right on the beach. This time we stayed in the historic district downtown — in a historic hotel, the Mills House Hotel.

Hotel lobby:

I liked this idea of using a half wreath on either side of double doors so it looks like one big one.

This was the first time we stayed in a hotel that didn’t feel like a sterile hotel room. It was lovely.

I was wincing at how much it must cost, but Jim told me that because of the points he accrued through his traveling, we were only paying the parking fee. That was good news! Though we hate his traveling, it was good to get something back out of it, and it made me enjoy the setting that much more.

The only negative about it was that you couldn’t park your own car in the lot: they had valet parking at the hotel or you could park it in one of the downtown public areas. I didn’t like not having access to the car whenever we wanted, but with a little planning ahead we could call down to the desk and have the car brought around so it was waiting when we came down.

Also the fancier hotels seem not to offer complimentary breakfasts.

But there were scores of restaurants within walking distance. The first night we ate at Magnolia’s.

Excellent — the service, the food, the atmosphere, everything. And scores of people were walking around at night, so we felt safe exploring a little afterward. There were a couple of little restaurants close by the hotel where we had breakfast, then lunch at a little tea shop one day, and dinner Tuesday night at Hyman’s Seafood. Didn’t like that quite as well. The potato soup was the best I have ever had, and Jim said the same of his crab cakes. But everything else was just ok, and the atmosphere was really noisy. Plus the only bathrooms were up a flight of wooden stairs. But supposedly, according to a plaque at my table:

We got a package deal through the Charleston Museum to see it plus the Joseph Manigault House and the Heyward-Washington House.

We’re not really museum people per se, but there was a display based on weddings, wedding clothes in particular, that was neat to see.

The Joseph Manigault House was interesting though the tour only took about fifteen minutes.

The Heyward-Washington House was built before the Revolutionary War by Thomas Heyward, one of the signers of the Declaration of Independence.

The first two times we came to Charleston, we did the usual touristy things — the carriage tours (in a horse-drawn carriage while a guide tells about various historical tidbits), the harbor tour, seeing the Yorktown, etc. And I think those were great ways to “do” Charleston at first, and I loved them. But this time was a lot more free-form. The museum we could browse through at our own pace; the houses had tours every half hour, so we could go to them pretty much any time. Otherwise we just drove or walked around and stopped whenever we saw anything interesting we wanted to explore. We drove around the Battery, drove past Rainbow Row, visited a few gift shops, walked out on a pier into the harbor, where we saw a whole roofline of these guys:

Overall it was a fun, relaxing time. We certainly got our exercise: if we walked like that all the time, we’d be in good shape!

It’s good to get away sometimes and just be together. This was our best anniversary yet.

The perfect Christmas letter photo…

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…is elusive.

This one is pretty good except my eyes are closed.

This one is pretty good except Grandma is looking a little fierce. This was the fourth attempt and she was getting tired.

…Not quite centered…

Great! Except for the bunny ears above Mittu’s head.

And more bunny ears!!

We took 13 all together. I ended up going with the first one, even though my eyes are closed. I figured the size the photo would be in our Christmas letter, perhaps no one would notice. I know some of these could have been photoshopped, like the second to last, but I don’t know how to do that (yet! I need to learn) and I didn’t have time to ask Jeremy to work on them.

But even though there wasn’t a “perfect” photo, we had fun (well, maybe except for Grandma)…and all together these represent a pretty accurate “snapshot” of our family life. 🙂

Thank you for all your congratulations on our anniversary! I hope to tell you about our “special plans” in the next day or so.

On our 30th anniversary: 30 things I love about my husband

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1. He loves God.

2. He fulfills well the admonition in Deuteronomy 6:7 to teach children God’s Word in the course of daily life: “And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” Jeremy has said he gets more out of a conversation with his dad than almost any sermon.

3. He is a wonderful father.

4. He leads gently, not tyrannically or despotically.

5. He has kind eyes.

6. He kills bugs for me.

7. If he drives my car and notices the gas is low, he fills the car up for me.

8. He knows how to fix a multitude of things.

9. He is smart.

10. He can usually handle problems and issues with people firmly but not angrily.

11. He is calm in a crisis and knows what to do or can figure it out in short order.

12. He has a sharp sense of humor.

13. He is very patient with my foibles.

14. He is a great griller!

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15. After Thanksgiving dinner he gets the rest of the meat off the turkey and then cleans out the roasting pan.

16. Sometimes he will clean the bathrooms unasked and unexpectedly.

17. He has a strong work ethic. He not only works hard and long to support us, he likes to do his best at any job.

18. He takes good care of his mother.

19. He is generous.

20. He has a lot of financial savvy.

21. He has a lot of sanctified common sense.

22. He is discerning.

23. He is generally more relaxed than I am. I appreciate the counter balance to my tenseness.

24. He can handle most of the technological stuff.

25. He is thoughtful.

26. He is more outgoing than I am.

27. Though he probably would say he doesn’t feel at ease in social situations, he handles them with apparent ease.

28. He is generally more upbeat and cheerful than I am. If he does get into a bad mood of some kind, it doesn’t usually last long.

29. He is still a gentleman.

30. He made this video for me last year to one of my favorite songs:

Thanks for a wonderful 30 years, Hon.

Here’s to the next 30!

Fall Into Reading Wrap-Up

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With the first day of winter comes…the end of Callapidder Days‘ Fall Into Reading Challenge! Those who participated can write about how they did with the goals they set way back at the beginning of fall. Katrina has a Mr. Linky set up where we can check in with each other.

I completed these books on my original list:

A Surrendered Heart by Tracy Peterson and Judith Miller, third in the Broadmoor Legacy series, briefly reviewed here.

The Missing, second in the Seasons of Grace series by Beverly Lewis, briefly reviewed here.

American Haven by Elisabeth Yates, reviewed just briefly here.

Plain Perfect by Beth Wiseman, reviewed here.

The Heirloom by Colleen L. Reece and Julie Reece-DeMarco, given to me by my friend, Carol, reviewed here.

My Heart Remembers by Kim Vogel Sawyer.

Becoming God’s True Woman edited by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, reviewed here.

Dr. Frau: A Woman Doctor Among the Amish by Grace H. Kaiser, briefly reviewed here.

I did not read:

The Hidden Flame by Janette Oke and Davis Bunn. It just came out this month – I just got it last week and was already into a couple of other books. It’s one of the next ones in the queue!

How To Read Slowly by James W. Sire. I’ve had this one my list multiple times and just keep not getting to it. This type of non-fiction is not my forte, but I am hoping it will help improve what I retain from reading non-fiction. I need to just make time to make myself start it.

My Heart Restored, a Bible study by June Kimmel. I came across another devotional book I wanted to do at this time of year, which leads me to:

I read these books which were not on my original list:

Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus, a compilation of 22 Christmas related essays from authors varying from Augustine and Luther to Piper. I had gotten it at the end of last year after seeing it mentioned on several blogs and just rediscovered it when organizing my bookshelves. I read it in place of the Bible study mentioned above. I haven’t reviewed it yet, but I highly recommend it.

A Vote of Confidence by Robin Lee Hatcher, reviewed here.

Home to Harmony by Phillip Gulley.

Farraday Road by Ace Collins, reviewed here.

My favorite books from the challenge were Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus and Becoming God’s True Woman. My least favorite was Farraday Road.

Usually I try to incorporate a classic novel in my reading, but I didn’t have a particular one in mind, and I wanted to get my TBR shelf cleared off a little, so I went through a lot of the Christian fiction instead, which goes a little faster.

I enjoy this challenge because: it is non-pressurized; it usually causes me to incorporate some things into my reading that I’ve been wanting to read but don’t usually pick up when I am scrounging around for the next book; and I enjoy seeing what others have been reading, though it does cause my TBR list to grow exponentially.

Christmas version of I Corinthians 13

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I posted this three years ago, but I need the reminder every year:

1 CORINTHIANS 13 – – A CHRISTMAS VERSION –

By an unknown author

If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love, I’m just another decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love, I’m just another cook.

If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love, it profits me nothing.

If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir’s cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.

Love stops the cooking to hug the child.
Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband.
Love is kind, though harried and tired.

Love doesn’t envy another’s home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.

Love doesn’t yell at the kids to get out of the way, but is thankful they are there to be in the way.

Love doesn’t give only to those who are able to give in return but rejoices in giving to those who can’t.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails.

Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust, but giving the gift of love will endure.

Pre-Christmas Ruminations

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On all those memes asking if we might have a white Christmas, I mentioned it wasn’t likely here in SC. We had about five minutes of snow yesterday, but then rain for most of the day, turning to slush with ice pellets by evening. Even before the ice, the rain was kind of a miserable cold rain and the wind alternated between turning my umbrella inside out or pushing it on top of my head. By the way, I learned that when your umbrella does get inverted, it doesn’t help much to try to pull on it to get it back down, but aiming it in the direction the wind is coming from helps the wind push it back down.

I persevered because I really wanted to get done, partly because I wasn’t sure what the weather would be like today, partly because I try to avoid malls and W-Mart on pre-Christmas Saturdays, and partly because we have Special Plans (not involving Christmas) for next week — which I’ll wait to tell you about until afterward! 😀 I’ll explain why then.

Janet at Across the Page posted an excerpt from C. S. Lewis’s thoughts on Christmas. Here is just one part:

You have only to stay over Christmas with a family who seriously try to ‘keep’ it (in its third, or commercial, aspect) in order to see that the thing is a nightmare. Long before December 25th everyone is worn out — physically worn out by weeks of daily struggle in overcrowded shops, mentally worn out by the effort to remember all the right recipients and to think out suitable gifts for them. They are in no trim for merry-making; much less (if they should want to) to take part in a religious act. They look far more as if there had been a long illness in the house.

I have certainly had Christmas seasons like that, where it felt more burdensome than joyful. I liked all the individual elements, but all together with the extra events on the calendar and all the regular everyday responsibilities just created too much pressure.

We’ve scaled back in the gift-giving department. We used to give to all the nieces and nephews until they got to the age where you never knew what they’d like and never heard back from them. It was fairly easy when they were little and were satisfied with any toy. Then they married and started having their own kids, and there just got to be too many people to keep up with. We used to give to my siblings (Jim is the youngest in his family and they stopped giving to each other long before) and their husbands, but eventually it became the same issue — too many people and no real knowledge of what anyone would like. Living 1,000 miles away, we’re not aware of the everyday things they could use or would like, and just trading gift cards seemed useless to me. Then sending packages costs extra time and money. We tried drawing names one year and it just didn’t go over well, though that works for many families. So eventually we just phased out everyone but our kids, parents, and a few close friends.

So that helps a lot. I love giving, but as Lewis pointed out, the gift-giving of olden days was much less than it is now, and it is not the main point.

Getting started early helps, too. I keep saying I am going to do my Christmas cards Thanksgiving weekend, but haven’t yet. I need to do better in this department.

Online shopping has helped a lot, as well. It’s much easier to search a store site for a size or color that I need rather than looking through every.pair.of.pants in a store to find the elusive sizes my menfolk need. But other things really need to be seen and handled in person before making a decision. Now that my guys are older and into geeky technology stuff, my husband buys most of that kind of thing because he know much more about what it is or where to find it than I do, and that helps a lot.

Also, some years we haven’t gone to every party and program available, either. I enjoyed all of them once we got there, but the preponderance of extra things to attend can create pressure in itself.

I’ve learned, too, that though I’ve sometimes felt too rushed or pressured for regular devotions, I must continue to take that time, no matter what else does or doesn’t get done. I can’t expect to have God’s peace or the right attitudes or perspective without it. I’ve mentioned before that I am reading the devotional book Come Thou Long Expected Jesus, which I hope to say more about next week, but I can see its use becoming a yearly tradition.

A great post along these lines I just discovered yesterday through a reference on Facebook: 3 Ways to Put the “Merry” in “Merry Christmas“ at Women Living Well. I heartily recommend it.

From an old Generous Wife newsletter I kept this quote:

In planning for your holidays, realize that your husband would love to have a peaceful, happy wife.  Work to scale back and simplify your holiday plans (grab a pad and pencil, write down everything that you plan to do, circle and do the really important stuff, cut back on the rest or cross it off your list altogether).  Being an unfrazzled wife is one of the kindest gifts you can give your husband for the holidays.  You really don’t have to do it all.

Though it is from a wife’s perspective, it is true for everyone — it’s good to be an unfrazzled friend, church member, co-worker, sibling, etc.

So whatever we do or don’t do, however we scale down or not, each individual and family needs to find what works best for them to keep the right balance, perspective and joy of the season.

I also wanted to share with you this sweet video I saw on Chrysalis yesterday. It’s made by a family with seven children who are missionaries in Haiti, though I couldn’t tell from their site what kind of missionaries they are. Their children portray the Christmas story — with real donkey and lambs! — but the highlight is the little seven-year-old girl singing with a beautiful, clear voice. Her “Glory to God” has been echoing in my mind ever since I heard it. It’s a nicely done video and the kids are all precious.

Friday’s Fave Five

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Susanne at Living to Tell the Story hosts a “Friday Fave Five” in which we share our five favorite things from the past week. Click on the button to read more of the details, and you can visit Susanne to see the list of others’ favorites or to join in.

So here are five of my favorite things from this past week:

1. Getting the Christmas decorating done last weekend. Though it took us a while to find a time when everyone was off at the same time, I am glad that we still do it all together — even the married son and daughter-in-law! I know it will not always be that way, so I am enjoying it while I can.

2. Our church’s ladies’ Christmas party. It’s always a lot of fun, plus we get to see who our “Secret Sister” was for the past year. Mine was a complete surprise — I had thought for sure it was someone else. But the one I gave to figured me out. It was my good friend Carol whom I have mentioned before. Near the beginning of the year I had the wrong date in my head for her birthday — even though we have information cards with these things written down — and I got both her present from me and her Secret Sister to her a couple of weeks late. She figured out that wasn’t a coincidence. 🙂 But she was very gracious about it.

3. Winning books! I won one from Carrie and one from Linda.

4. Getting most of my Christmas shopping done Thursday. We had done a good bit online, which I prefer, but for some things you have to go to actual stores. And I do like that somewhat when it goes well. I was hoping to get it mostly done in one day anyway, but I was especially driven because for a while they were forecasting snow for Friday, and here many places close up when it snows. They changed the forecast later on, but I was glad I pushed through. Almost everyone was fairly friendly and cheerful, and I found some good things at good prices.

5. This decoration which I got on a clearance table after Christmas last year.

I don’t know if you can quite see the 3-D effect of the carolers and decorations on the front and the way the outline of it extends out. I had it on an end table in the family room, but it just got lost there. I put it on the windowsill above the sink in the kitchen, and now I enjoy it several times a day.

Bonus:

I get an e-mail newsletter from Leisure Arts, and the most recent one had instructions for a really cute Christmas tree package that they used as a favor to give pieces of fudge, but it could be used for any small gift. I haven’t tried it yet, but it is sooo cute.

Have a “merry and bright” Friday!

Booking Through Thursday: Speed

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btt button The Booking Through Thursday for Thursday wasn’t posted until later in the day, and I was gone most of the day, so I am just now getting to it. It happens to be one I submitted:

What do you think of speed-reading? Is it a good way to get through a lot of books, or does the speed-reader miss depth and nuance? Do you speed-read? Is some material better suited to speed-reading than others?

I don’t speed-read, and that’s why I asked the question. It seems as though you would miss a lot that way. I like to really slow down and savor some parts of the plot. Actually, if it is really suspenseful or I am really into the plot, I’ll read quickly to see what happens and then come back and go over it more slowly.

I do wish I had known how to speed-read in college, though, especially in some classes where one could make an A without reading the textbook except that points were taken off for not completing the reading. And when I am reading for some types of specific information, I’ll skim, but speed-reading would probably give me more depth than skimming.

But to me the point of reading is not to just get through a lot of material. I want to glean something from what the writer says and to enjoy not only the story but the way it is crafted. I like the nuances, the fine details, the choice of words. In fact, one book which has been on my TBR list for ages is How To Read Slowly by James W. Sire. I’m hoping it will help me read in a way to comprehend and retain more.

I’m looking forward to reading some of the other answers here to see what people think about speed-reading.

Three short book reviews

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American Haven by Elisabeth Yates was suggested to me by my blog friend Sally when I mentioned a book I read as a child about an English girl named Merry who came to America. This turned out not to be that book, but it was a pleasant read. It is the third in a series about Merry (Meredith) and her brother Michael. In this book, the two are sent to America for safety from their home in England during World War II. I loved the Journeyforth books when my children and nieces and nephews were small, and I highly recommend them. This series is suggested for ages 9-12.

The publisher’s description of Plain Perfect by Beth Wiseman is as fellows:

On the rolling plains of Lancaster County, PA., Lillian Miller is searching for her grandparents’ house…and so much more. After years of neglect and abuse, she’s turning to a lifestyle of simplicity among the Amish to find herself.

As she discards the distractions of her former life, she befriends the young boy working on her family’s farm and his attractive widowed father, Samuel Stoltzfus. Despite Lillian’s best efforts to the contrary, her feelings for Samuel–and his for her–deepen. Will Lillian find her faith in Plain living, or will she be forced to return to her former life?

I enjoyed the story as a story and I enjoyed Lilly’s development as well as her burgeoning relationship with Samuel. But with Lilly’s almost non-religious background, the way of salvation is not really made clear to her, though she is told it is a matter of the heart rather than just keeping the Ordnung. The message she seems to receive is, “Keep living an Amish-based Christian life, and it will make sense to you after a while,” which is not the way I would present it. And though there are many, many things to admire about the Amish, their lifestyle isn’t idyllic and peaceful just because they keep themselves from certain aspects of the world. So, though Lilly found peace there, I wouldn’t say one seeking peace should run off and join the Amish. But a reader who is already settled on the way of salvation and peace could enjoy the story.

My blog friend Lizzie gave me A Vote of Confidence by Robin Lee Hatcher, a book about a woman running for mayor of Bethlehem Springs, Idaho, in 1915. The back of the book says, “Who says a woman can’t do a man’s job?” Honestly, if I had thought it was just a story about a spunky heroine trying to do a “man’s job” just to prove she could, I would not have been interested. But I have enjoyed what I have read of Robin’s books, so I read on. Gwen’s reasons for running for mayor are good and objections are dealt with in the first few chapters. She has to campaign against her alcoholic opponent and a handsome newcomer who tosses his hat into the ring because of the difficulties he has encountered in getting his health spa built as well as contend with a lawyer who lends his support only to try to control her.

I appreciate Robin’s efforts to show that Biblically feminine women do not all have to be cut from the same exact mold, but I felt the “traditional” stay-at-home wife and mother was somewhat maligned in Gwen’s thoughts. It makes sense that a lady who chose to be single and independent would think as she does, but I would have liked a little counter-balance.

But other than that, I found this an enjoyable, well-crafted book, and I am looking forward to reading the sequel.

Random Dozen Meme

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The Random Dozen meme is created and hosted by Linda at 2nd Cup of Coffee. She has a Mr. Linky set up if you’d like to see others’ responses or join in.

1. Gingerbread: For or against? Discuss.

I don’t care for crisp gingersnaps, but I make a gingerbread teddy bear cookie that’s soft, puffy, and chewy that I like, but otherwise it’s not my favorite flavor. Not my least favorite, either. If it is dessert at someone’s house I’d probably have some, but I don’t crave or seek it out.

2. Is it important to you to always stay (live) close to family?

That would be my preference, but if God wants to send one of my kids half-way around the world, I trust that He would give me the grace to handle it — and I would need a lot of grace!

3. Which holiday pretend character do you wish really existed?

I can’t think of any at the moment. They’re fine safely tucked in the land of make-believe.

4. Which holiday movie best represents how you feel about Christmas or life?

Charlie Brown Christmas.

5. Is there a particular Christmas song that you’re enjoying now? Any that you’re tired of?

I’m getting pretty tired of “Sleigh Ride.” It seems like I’ve heard it too many times already.

I’ve been listening a lot to the King of Glory CD and a “generic” Irish-sounding instrumental Christmas CD.

6. What is your favorite way to remember those less fortunate at Christmastime?

Anonymously.

7. Does it upset you to see “Xmas” instead of Christmas? How about “Happy Holidays” etc., instead of “Merry Christmas?”

Yes, I don’t like seeing Christ’s name replaced with an “X” though I have heard an explanation that it is actually supposed to represent Christ. And I just posted about the Happy Holidays thing — I do believe in saying “Merry Christmas” because it is Christ’s birthday, but I don’t believe everyone who says “Happy Holidays” is a heathen or deserving of disdain.

8. How many Christmas programs are you attending this month?

Like performances, you mean? Two, I think. The children’s program at church a couple of Sundays ago and then our adult Christmas cantata is this Sunday. We usually have a school program and piano recital, but we don’t have any kids taking piano or choir this year.

9. Are you dreaming of a white Christmas? Any chance of that dream becoming a reality?

It’s not likely here in SC. We only get snow once or twice a year, usually in Jan. or Feb.

10. Tell me about a Christmas present you received as a child. Pics are always nice.

The only thing I can remember is Barbie dolls, which I especially liked because my nickname was Barbie.

11. How many Christmas parties are you attending this month?

Two, our Sunday School party last Saturday and our church ladies’ party last Monday.

12. How do you keep yourself centered on the significance of Christmas?

Prayer, and I think the church-related programs help. This year I am also reading Come Thou Long Expected Jesus, a collection of 22 reading from authors as varied as Spurgeon, Whitefield, and Augustine to John MacArthur. Edited to add: A few other people mentioned Christmas carols and hymns, and those are a great blessing to me as well.