Friday’s Fave Five

It’s Friday, time to look back over the blessings of the week with Susanne at Living to Tell the Story and other friends.

Can you believe we’re 2/3 of the way through April already? I’m not ready for spring to be passing so quickly! But that’s one thing the Friday’s Fave Five is good for, stopping to treasure those special moments, hold on to them for a while, and be thankful for them so we don’t forget them. Here are the best parts of the last week:

1. Timothy’s 3rd birthday!

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I think his dad may have caught him with a mouthful of cake at that moment. 🙂

2. Family outings. I mentioned last week that my oldest son was in town, so we had the family all together for Timothy’s birthday and Easter and went to a petting zoo and the WonderWorks museum as well as to Jason and Mittu’s house for a meal. I wrote about it all more extensively here.

3. Easter was a lovely day. Our church just has one service that day with some extra  music numbers which I enjoyed. Then we took the opportunity of being all together to get some family photos – somehow we missed doing that at Christmas.

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Then we had a great lunch and an Easter egg hunt.

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Then everyone went home and Jim and I crashed for the evening after an enjoyable but busy few days. 🙂

I forgot to mention in my earlier post a funny thing that happened on Easter. For years I’ve made resurrection rolls with Easter breakfast or lunch (originally with frozen yeast rolls, but knowing when to take the dough out to thaw, how long to let it rise, etc., was a little tricky, especially overnight, so later I saw an idea to use crescent rolls, which worked well. Also since that post I saw the idea to dip the marshmallow in melted butter and then sugar and cinnamon, symbolizing the spices used in burial then – but also because it tastes good – before wrapping the marshmallow in the dough.) The marshmallows are supposed to get absorbed into the rolls, making them sweet and leaving a big hole in the roll, looking like an empty tomb. That’s always happened before, but for some reason this time the marshmallows didn’t melt, so I had to say when I served them that our tombs weren’t quite empty. 🙂

4. Ham leftovers. Well, it’s great the first time around, too, but I like the leftovers for Swiss Ham Ring-Around, to put in scrambled eggs, to make a ham and cheese omelet, to have as a side item with an over-easy egg and toast, and finally using the hambone in Ham and Potato soup. The guys like it in sandwiches, and Jim usually makes a ham salad with it that we use on crackers or in a sandwich, though we didn’t have that this year.

5. The first rose bloom and hummingbird of the season showed up this week!

We’ve had a lot more rain this week, but I can’t complain (not that I should anyway), since last week was gorgeous.

All in all a lovely week with good memories.

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Book Review: Middlemarch

I had not heard of Middlemarch by George Eliot (pseudonym of Mary Ann Evans) until the last several years, and whenever I looked at a description of it, it sounded rather vague – something about a community in pre-Reform-era England. That’s like saying Jan Karon’s Mitford books are about a community of people in the fictional town of Mitford, NC. They are, but that’s a pale description of the richness and depth of the characters. Yet it’s hard to know how else to describe the books in just a few sentences to someone unfamiliar with them. As I planned for the Back to the Classics challenge for this year, I decided to give Middlemarch a try, trusting that since I saw it recommended so often, it must be worth reading.

There’s not a single overarching plot to the book: it’s about the journeys of several people in the town. So it might be best to try to describe it a little by discussion some of its characters.

Dorothea Brooke is the main character, a teen-age orphan with her younger sister under the care of a benevolent older single uncle. Dorothea is ardent, serious, and pious. Though wealthy, she dresses plainly and is only interested in wealth as a means of doing good. A neighbor, Sir James Chettam, is very much interested in her, but she’s not interested in him at all except as a potential match for her sister, Celia. When a much older clergyman, Edward Casaubon, takes notice of her, everyone she knows protests against the match, but Dorothea is drawn to the marriage as a means of doing a great good by helping him in his work and a means of growth as she can increase her knowledge by sharing in his. She is sadly disappointed, however, because Casaubon is aloof (on their honeymoon in Rome, he leaves her alone while he’s off doing research for his book: he even suggested that Celia come with them as a companion for Dorothea!) and doesn’t allow her into the realm of his work until he becomes ill later on.

Tertius Lydgate is a young doctor new to the town. He was orphaned and cared for by wealthy relatives, but there was no closeness between them, and they were miffed when he chose a career in medicine, so he’s basically on his own. He’s ahead of his time medically (one source pointed out his use of a stethoscope, which was available but not routinely used at the time), but the older, established doctors don’t like the new guy coming in with new ways, and he unwittingly offends them, so he has an uphill battle starting out. But his success and availability with the people he does treat gives him an inroad into the community.

The Vincy family consists of two parents and four children, two of them grown. The father is the mayor, and he and his wife tend to live beyond their means and spoil their children. They want their son, Fred, to become a clergyman due to the position’s respectability and are paying for his education; however, he has no interest in or aptitude for it, so he drops out. But he has no other talents and is counting on getting an inheritance from an uncle. He’s in love with Mary Garth, but she won’t have him if he goes into the clergy (because she knows it would not be a good fit for him) and if he continues to be idle. The daughter, Rosamond, is beautiful, cultured, proper, genteel, and charming, which over-shadows her thoroughly self-centered nature. She sets her sights on Lydgate, thinking he is wealthy and of a higher social standing due to his family connections. He had not planned to marry for a long while and at first enjoys just flirting with Rosamond, but eventually he succumbs to her charms, and they marry.

Though things start out well for the Lydgates, they soon run into trouble when their expensive habits exceed Lydgate’s income. He insists they should economize, something totally unheard of for her: she insists he should find more or better-paying work or appeal to his family. She finds out he’s not as wealthy or well-connected as she thought; he finds out the selfish core under her beautiful exterior. Her unwillingness to bend and his extenuating financial circumstances set him up for trouble later in the book.

Will Ladislaw is Edward Casaubon’s younger cousin whom he is helping financially. Will is an artist who doesn’t know quite what he wants to do with his life, so he is traveling and painting. At first Will doesn’t like Dorothea, but as he gets to know her better, he’s grieved at her “wasting” herself on Casaubon. Will also becomes friends with the Lydgates, which leads to some trouble later on.

Nicholas Bulstrode is a banker and pillar of the community. He’s quite religious, but in a way that rubs others the wrong way. Much later in the book, an old associate comes to town for other reasons, discovers Bulstrode lives there, and blackmails him with the threat of sharing some shady dealings in his past which would destroy his reputation in the community.

There are multitudes of other characters, but these are the main ones, and their lives and situations intersect at various points. The plot moves fairly slowly by modern standards, though the book does contain riveting moments of suspense in places. But Eliot’s main strength is her pathos in getting into the heads of her characters and sharing their hearts. We know minutely what they are thinking and groan, laugh, or cry along with them.

Multiple themes emerge throughout the book. One of the top ones is marriage. The two main marriages are fraught with trouble, but others by contrast exhibit great sharing and warmth. Those who weathered great trouble on their way to marriage seem to fair better than the ones who encountered it afterward. Another theme is what some sources called “self-determination.” This was an era when there were pretty strict expectations upon people, especially women, and those who bucked the system weren’t looked kindly upon, but in this book those seemed most likely to succeed.

Eliot’s vast knowledge in a number of areas shows up here, mainly in literary references but also in politics and science. There are quite a number of biblical allusions throughout: I read in one source that Eliot started out as religious but “lost her faith” after reading about “higher criticism” of the Bible.

I think my favorite character is Dorothea. She seems a little stiff at first, but eventually she grows into the warmest, most human person in the book. Another favorite is Mr. Garth, Mary’s father, whose kindly and wise ways permeate all his actions, and I enjoyed the warmth of his family’s home scenes. The one I sympathized and ached with most by the end was Lydgate, but I can’t say why without revealing too much.

One source said that the book was kind of an anti-fairy tale, that the characters didn’t ride off happily in the sunset with all problems solved like many other books of the era. But I disagree: several found some degree of happiness, though they still had problems. Another said that Dorothea never reached her full potential, but I disagree again. In one of my favorite quotes of the book, Eliot seems to me to be saying that though some of the characters wanted to do “great things,” they found instead greatness in the “little things”:

Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

A few other favorite quotes:

It is a narrow mind which cannot look at a subject from various points of view.

And certainly, the mistakes that we male and female mortals make when we have our own way might fairly raise some wonder that we are so fond of it.

What we call our despair is often only the painful eagerness of unfed hope.

We are all humiliated by the sudden discovery of a fact which has existed very comfortably and perhaps been staring at us in private while we have been making up our world entirely without it.

Sane people did what their neighbors did, so that if any lunatics were at large, one might know and avoid them.

A prig is a fellow who is always making you a present of his opinions.

It is an uneasy lot at best, to be what we call highly taught and yet not to enjoy: to be present at this great spectacle of life and never to be liberated from a small hungry shivering self—never to be fully possessed by the glory we behold, never to have our consciousness rapturously transformed into the vividness of a thought, the ardor of a passion, the energy of an action, but always to be scholarly and uninspired, ambitious and timid, scrupulous and dim-sighted.

‘You must love your work, and not be always looking over the edge of it, wanting your play to begin. And the other is, you must not be ashamed of your work, and think it would be more honorable to you to be doing something else. You must have a pride in your own work and in learning to do it well, and not be always saying, There’s this and there’s that—if I had this or that to do, I might make something of it. No matter what a man is—I wouldn’t give twopence for him’— here Caleb’s mouth looked bitter, and he snapped his fingers— ‘whether he was the prime minister or the rick-thatcher, if he didn’t do well what he undertook to do.’

I feel like I am not doing the book any justice, but I hope I have given you a little picture of what it’s about. I listened to the audiobook, superbly read by Juliet Stevenson. Later on I got the corresponding Kindle version, and some of the notes there would have provided me with more detail, especially to Eliot’s literary allusions, if I had been reading it all along, but I wouldn’t trade it for the experience of listening to Stevenson’s narrations. Her voice for each character as well as her intonations and expression truly enhanced my enjoyment of the book.

I’ve spent over 35 listening hours with these characters, and I am going to miss them.

(Sharing with Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books, Literary Musing Monday and Carole’s Books You Loved)

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Family Happenings

We’ve just finished up a happy but very busy time with family, and I’ve been catching up on sleep and laundry the last couple of days.

First of all, my oldest son, Jeremy, came for a visit. He’s not usually here this time of year, but, if I remember correctly, I think he or Jim had some free airline miles, so he was able to come for Easter and some of the week’s other events.

His first day here, we went over to Jason and Mittu’s for lunch. Over the last several months they’ve painted all their rooms, their kitchen cabinets, made headboards for their beds, a kitchen table, and a coffee table. So it was fun not only to visit but to see what was new, especially for Jeremy, who hadn’t seen their house in a while. They came over to our house that evening for dinner and more visiting.

Then, it was my grandson Timothy’s 3rd birthday! We went to the Little Ponderosa Zoo, as we did last year. I wasn’t quite as impressed with it as I was last year, but it’s still a good size for young children, and the animals are more accessible for petting and feeding than the big downtown zoo. It was fun to see him more into it this year, feeding the goats and even riding a pony for the first time.

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Riding in style. 🙂 He’s big into construction vehicles just now, and Mittu found him a birthday shirt with an excavator on it that says, “I’m digging being 3.”

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Timothy riding

We had a picnic lunch there, and Timothy enjoyed the small playground. He even went down the big slide by himself!

Then we went home for naps. They came to our house again in the evening for Timothy’s birthday dinner (nachos, or, as he calls them, cheesy chips), cake, and presents.

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A lot of his presents had to do with construction vehicles, but one of his favorites was this blender set.

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Mittu decorated his cake herself and found this really cute cake topper:

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The next day we went to WonderWorks in Pigeon Forge, TN, or, as we call it, the Upside Down House (Timothy couldn’t quite master that and called it the “Up down up down house.”) Ever since we passed by it the first time not long after we moved here, I wanted to see it some time, and Jim found a deal on tickets that expired before Jeremy was due to come back in the summer.

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Though we did have fun, it was a disappointment in many ways, starting with the person at the ticket counter. We hadn’t known that our tickets included the magic show, and Jim asked him what the magic show was like. With a barely perceptible shrug, the guy said, “It’s a magic show.” Duh. So Jim asked more specific questions, like was it in a separate room with seating, etc., or was it like one of the exhibits. The former, it turned out, which might have been fun except the only shows were in the evening and we were only there for the morning. The rest of the building was very dark and very loud. There were a few hands-on exhibits, which is what we mainly wanted to see, but a good part of it was arcade-style games. But even the exhibits were hard to get much out of because everything was crowded, frenetic, and noisy. But Jesse got to ride the gyroscope, he and Jeremy rode a roller coaster simulator, everyone enjoyed the big bubble stations, and everyone found several things they enjoyed doing. One of my favorite moments was watching Timothy walk up and down the giant piano keys.

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I always wondered what it was like – and now I know. 🙂

We stopped for lunch at Mellow Mushroom on the way back, which has become almost a tradition when we’re in the Pigeon Forge area. I appreciated that Great-Grandma’s caregiver was able to stay a little extra these two days.

Home for naps again (I love toddler schedules. 🙂 ). Then we got together again that evening for more visiting and a bit of game playing (or the game playing may have been another night…). I made some gluten free sugar cookies to snack on and Timothy helped a bit.

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Then Sunday was Easter. We had a nice service commemorating our Lord’s Resurrection with some special music and communion. We got in some family photos before everyone changed out of their dress clothes.

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Then we had a scrumptious dinner, then an Easter egg hunt, which the big kids like, too. 🙂 Some of the eggs are filled with candy, but most with change, and a few with paper money.

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Then Jeremy’s flight left and everyone went home and we crashed. 🙂 Our church didn’t have evening services on Easter, so it was nice to just rest, catch up on computer stuff, nap, eat leftovers, and read off and on the rest of the evening.

I was planning to give myself the day “off” more or less on Monday, reasoning that during holidays all the men can take some vacation days and set aside their regular work whereas the wives and moms usually have a bit more at those times (not complaining – that’s just how it is). It didn’t work out to a total day off as there were some errands needing tending to in the morning, but it was a fairly light day. I don’t usually do freezer meals, but Jesse reminded me I had one in there from a time when our leftovers were more than we’d likely take care of, so I pulled that out for an easy dinner.

Usually Jeremy is here for a week or so, so we have some down time in-between outings. But even though this was a busy few days, it was enjoyable and memorable. I’m planning to take down the Easter decorations this week and get a wedding gift ready for the weekend, but otherwise I need to sort through things that need to be done to decide what’s next.

I hope you had a wonderful Easter weekend as well.

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Allelujah!

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The strife is o’er, the battle done;
The victory of life is won;
The song of triumph has begun: Alleluia!

The powers of death have done their worst;
But Christ their legions hath dispersed;
Let shouts of holy joy outburst: Alleluia!

The three sad days are quickly sped;
He rises glorious from the dead;
All glory to our risen Head! Alleluia!

He closed the yawning gates of hell;
The bars from heaven’s high portals fell;
Let hymns of praise His triumphs tell! Alleluia!

Lord, by the stripes which wounded Thee,
From death’s dread sting Thy servants free,
That we may live, and sing to Thee: Alleluia!

Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

~ Author of the words is unknown
Author of the music is
Giovanni Pierluigi da Palestrina

 

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Friday’s Fave Five

It’s Friday, time to look back over the blessings of the week with Susanne at Living to Tell the Story and other friends.

It’s been a wonderfully springy week! Here are some of the best parts of it:

1. A working toilet. The one in my bathroom had been having problems for a few days and finally stopped working altogether. Thankfully it wasn’t the only one in the house, but, still…it was a great relief to have it operational again, and I am thankful for a handy husband who can take care of things like that.

2. A new pillow. Mine had gotten hard and bunched up. Even washing and drying it, which usually fluffs it up a bit, wasn’t working any more. The new one has almost the opposite problem – I kind of sink into it. But I am getting used to it.

3. New flowers. I got some new flowers into the two planters out front and hanging baskets up outside. I always love how it looks to have them there. For some reason we don’t usually get to it til mid-May, but this year I looked up the date of the last expected frost and got them up the first weekend after! I’ve got a couple more planters in the back  and a place or two in the yard to fill, and I am looking forward to looking for plants for those soon. Someone had also given my mother-in-law an arrangement of several spring bulbs, and after they started to droop I dug out the bulbs and planted them outside. I’ve never planted bulbs before, and I hope they “take.”

Lowe’s had these already assembled, so all I had to to was just dig a hole and transfer it to the planter.

And our dogwood trees are starting to bloom!

4. My oldest son coming for a short visit this week for a couple pf family celebrations, which I’ll have more to say about next week. 🙂

5. Family walks. Jason, Mittu, and Timothy have been over a couple of evenings for Timothy to ride his little car, and as he got off and explored, that led to some of us taking a walk around the neighborhood. The weather was just right and it was a fun little outing. Plus Jason has an app for his phone that, when a dog is barking loudly, it plays a high-pitched frequency that they can hear but we can’t, which discourages them from barking. There are a couple of houses I hate to walk by because their dogs just follow and bark the whole time, so it was nice to be able to deter that some.

Finally, it’s a highlight of every week to remember our Savior’s death on the cross for our sin and to be thankful for the salvation He offers, but this week when we especially commemorate it, it’s a blessed reminder of His love and grace for us.

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Mine, mine was the transgression

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This is an old hymn that we don’t hear much any more, but it comes to mind when I think of Christ’s death on the cross for our sins. I found a number of different translations and extra verses online (such as here), but this is close to the one I am familiar with.

O sacred Head, now wounded,
With grief and shame weighed down,
Now scornfully surrounded
With thorns, Thine only crown;
O sacred Head, what glory,
What bliss till now was Thine!
Yet, though despised and gory,
I joy to call Thee mine.

What Thou, my Lord, hast suffered,
Was all for sinners’ gain;
Mine, mine was the transgression,
But Thine the deadly pain.
Lo, here I fall, my Savior!
’Tis I deserve Thy place;
Look on me with Thy favor,
Vouchsafe to me Thy grace.

What language shall I borrow
To thank thee, dearest Friend,
For this, thy dying sorrow,
Thy pity without end?
Lord, make me thine forever,
and should I fainting be,
Lord, let me never, never
Outlive my love to Thee..

 -Bernard of Clairvaux

Book Review: Snapshot

SnapshotThe story of Snapshot by Lis Wiehl is fictional, but it grew out of reality. The picture on the front is actually of Lis when she was a little girl. Her FBI father had taken her with him to a civil rights march where Lisa and the little girl made friends with each other immediately. Lis grew up to be a federal prosecutor and eventually a legal analyst on NBC News, NPR’s All Things Considered, Bill O’Reilly’s programs, and others. Her father was a part of the investigation into JFK’s assassination.

In the story, Lisa Waldren was a four-year-old girl taken by her FBI father to a civil rights March, where Lisa made friends with another little girl. But at the March, civil rights leader Benjamin Gray was shot and killed. A man was arrested in connection with the shooting, but 50 years later, with his execution date looming, he reaches out to Lisa’s father, James Waldren, asking for his help to exonerate him. James had thought all along that the man, Leonard DuBois, was innocent, but he had been “shushed” and demoted for trying to clear him earlier. Now retired, James feels compelled to do everything he can to clear Leonard, and he asks Lisa for her help even thought they’ve been estranged for years.

Among the leads they try to trace down is the name of the other girl in the photo. The way she is facing indicates that she might have seen the shooting. By some miracle, they do find her, though she doesn’t remember seeing anything. But she joins them in the search, which leads them to a mystery involving Bobby Kennedy, J. Edgar Hoover, and James’s partner’s suicide. As the search continues, an enemy who does not want the truth to be known tries to hinder them: when every effort fails, his pursuit of them becomes increasingly more dangerous.

This was a fascinating story in itself, but the tie-in with history made it even more so. There is an interview with Lis’s father at the end of the book as well as an afterword from Bill O’Reilly (and a note that a reporter in the story who helps James is fashioned after O’Reilly).

There’s also an essay at the end by Juan Williams, a journalist, news analyst, and author of a book about civil rights talking about the book in connection with the civil rights and racial context of the times.

I had thought when I bought this that it was a Christian fiction book, but there’s not much along those lines except for one character. But as historical fiction, it was quite good.

Genre: Historical fiction
Potential objectionable elements: The bad guy does bad guy things, namely murder, but it’s not gratuitously described.
My rating: 8 out of 10

(Sharing with Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books and Carole’s Books You Loved)

 

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Laudable Linkage

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It’s been a little while since I’ve been able to share some of the noteworthy items found around the Web lately. Enjoy!

Repeating My Father’s Words. Spiritual lessons from a toddler.

As We Empty Ourselves For God, He Will Fill Us. This was a helpful principle for me. I used to get discouraged when I felt depleted after extending myself for someone instead of realizing that that’s perfectly natural.

What’s Worse – Removing Scripture or Adding to It? (HT to Challies). Both are wrong, of course, but this particularly addresses that some versions of the Bible that people accuse of leaving out verses don’t, actually, and some add them in, which is just as wrong.

Being Pence-ive About Dinner With the Ladies. You’ve probably seen a number of posts about Vice-President Mike Pence’s rule of thumb about not meeting alone with women, some thoughtful and some ridiculous. I thought this was one of the best.

Should it be illegal to be a stay-at-home mom? I am astounded anyone would seriously propose this.

25 Tips for Moms of Boys. I had three, and I can agree with most of these.

Buy nice not twice. Good advice. Being frugal doesn’t always mean buying cheap. But beyond that, this was one of the most balanced posts about minimalism that I have read.

Showing vs. telling, the main principle of good writing these days, and how best to do it.

Charting the Legacy of Les Miserables. If you’re a fan of the novel, you might like this article about a book about it. I particularly liked the paragraph about the impact on French society.

And, finally, for a smile: this is adorable. A little girl sees an old water heater set out on the street for pickup and thinks it is a robot.

Happy Saturday!

Friday’s Fave Five

It’s Friday, time to look back over the blessings of the week with Susanne at Living to Tell the Story and other friends.

The first FFF of April! It’s been a nice, springy week though a little colder today than normal. Here are some of the best parts of the last week.

1. A reprieve of sorts. I had a doctor’s appointment this week that I was dreading. I’m “pre-diabetic” and am supposed to be taking measures to try to avoid becoming fully diabetic. But between a broken toe, illness, and busyness precluding going to the gym much and extra goodies at Christmas and Valentine’s, I was afraid I had fallen from the progress I had made at the last visit, and I braced myself for a good scolding. But thankfully everything was “stable” – still needs work, but not any worse than last time – and I am getting myself back on track.

2. First grilled meal of the season. My husband ran some errands Saturday afternoon and unexpectedly came back with supplies to grill hamburgers for Sunday. Yum!

3. A weekend off from cooking. Jason and Mittu brought pizza over Friday, I asked for McAlister’s takeout on Saturday, and then Jim grilled on Sunday. Even though there was some other food prep involved with the grilled meal, it was nice to have the main course taken care of.

4. Another reprieve. We had some strong storms in the area Wednesday, but thankfully no hail or power outages or broken tree branches. “Til the Storm Passes By” is not a favorite song, per se, but it does come to mind at times like that.

5. A little boy’s affection. I’ve mentioned before that my little grandson is pretty busy and doesn’t always like to be scooped up for a hug or a snuggle like he did when he was a baby. So it’s special when he initiates something affectionate.

Some of these have appeared on previous FFFs, but it’s ok to be thankful for something more than once. 🙂

The sun is out and the birds are singing – looking forward to a great day! Happy Friday!

Book Review: Spiritual Mothering

Spiritual MotheringWhen our pastor’s wife announced that the ladies would be going through a study of Spiritual Mothering: The Titus 2 Design for Women Mentoring Women by Susan Hunt, I was a little wary at first, because in reading a few of Susan’s other writings, I thought she came across as clinical. I’m happy to say, though, that that’s not the case with this book, and she comes across as much more warm and personable. This edition is a revision of a book she wrote about 25 years ago.

She begins by noting that Titus 2:3-5, the instruction about older women teaching younger, is not to be taken in isolation or out of context and only read during women’s ministry functions. It fits within the broader framework of our Lord’s command to make disciples, and the function of the church as a whole, and the context of living life for God’s glory.

To glorify God means to reflect back to him the glory he has revealed to us (p. 53).

No earthly relationship will meet all of our needs. Fulfilling the purpose for which we were created is he only way we will experience wholeness. Mary focused on glorifying God. She did not speak of Elizabeth as her only source of help; spiritual mothering is not a cure-all for the older or the younger woman (p. 52).

[Re giving birth in a stable]: [Mary] exercised the discipline necessary to move beyond disappointment and distractions and to carefully think about the thing that really mattered–God’s glory (p. 56).

Mary could adjust to these extremes [angels and stables] in her life because she saw them from the vantage point of obeying God’s will, not from the perspective of her expectation or preferences. In defining herself as a servant, she had relinquished control to God. Her purpose was not her convenience but God’s glory (p. 57).

Susan defines spiritual mothering thus: “When a woman possessing faith and spiritual maturity enters into a nurturing relationship with a younger woman in order to encourage and equip her to live for God’s glory” (p. 36). Her main Biblical models throughout the book are Elizabeth and Mary, and my first thought was that I don’t think that’s primarily what the passages that speak of them are there for. But she draws out many applicable principles from their time together and draws from other relationships as well (like Ruth and Naomi). However, she points out that the principles of spiritual mothering can be seen in and drawn from many passages where God compares His care of His people to a mother’s love. And because we draw from His example and because He equips us, spiritual mothering has nothing to do with having biological children or even being married: God calls each woman to nurture in this way and enables them to do so. Usually we’re in the position of an older lady to some and a younger lady to others.

It would be easy for some women to quickly disqualify themselves by saying, But I don’t have the gift of teaching.” Sorry, that won’t work! A closer look at the word translated “train” will render that reasoning invalid. The Greek word is sophronizo and denotes “to cause to be of sound mind, to recall to one’s senses…the training would involve the cultivation of sound judgment and prudence (p. 72).

The popular concept of mentoring and coaching suggest some degree of structure and formality. Spiritual mothering may involve mentoring and coaching, but it is broader. Nurturing seems to be more compatible with what Paul is advocating in the Titus command (p. 72).

Before reading the book, I was a bit afraid that Susan would be pushing a formal and structured relationship, which can too easily seem artificial. She does share ways that can be implemented. But overall she advocates this type of nurturing in connection with other interactions, activities, and ministries, which I’ve always felt was a more natural way to go about it. “Spiritual mothering has more to do with demonstrating ‘the shape of godliness’ than with teaching lesson plans” (p. 93).

She discusses characteristics of the relationship and sprinkles many examples from modern life throughout the book, as well as opening each chapter with one woman’s story. Each chapter ends with a challenge of meditating on a specific passage of Scripture and taking definite steps in regard to the chapter’s subject matter.

Other quotes that stood out to me:

Servitude is not easy. Obedience is not a one-time decision. Obedience is a lifetime discipline. But it does bring a simplicity to life because it settles the issue of who is in control (p. 59)

This command [Titus 2:3-5] is sandwiched between the exhortation to “teach what accord with sound doctrine” (v. 1) and a statement of purpose: “that the Word of God may not be reviled” (v. 5). Sound doctrine must be the basis for the older-woman/younger-woman relationship and honor for God’s truth must be the goal of the relationship (pp. 65-66).

A reverent life is the product of a reverent view of God (p. 69).

Resentment erects barriers that cause older and younger women to miss each other. Resentment is a product of a self-centered approach: unless you are doing and being what I want you to do and be I am offended. Living for God’s glory frees us to value and appreciate rather than resent one another. We can appreciate our diversity of temperaments, life-stages, life-situations, abilities, and callings from God. We don’t have to be or do the same thing. In fact, there is no real unity without diversity. Two of the same things don’t need to blend to become one (p. 131).

There were just a few places where I agreed with what Susan was saying but didn’t feel that it quite came from the passage she was using for its basis, and one or two places where I felt she was wrong. For instance, on p. 52 she says, “Jesus tells us in no uncertain terms how to glorify God: ‘I have brought you glory on earth by finishing the work you gave me to do.’ (John 17:4, NIV). Completing the work he assigns us – joyful obedience to his will – is the way we glorify him.” It is a way, but not the only way. A couple of other ways: “The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me; to one who orders his way rightly I will show the salvation of God!” (Psalm 50:23, ESV); “My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit” (John 15:8, NASB).

But overall I thought this was a good and helpful book and I gleaned many good things from it.

The ladies at our church who were studying the book met every other week to discuss a couple of chapters at a time, and I am sorry I missed that, because I think it would have reinforced the principles and truths brought out in the book. I did hear that they also had some panel discussions with some older ladies, which I would have loved to hear, and paired up an older and younger lady for some one on one time. I’ve been meaning to ask some of them how that went but haven’t thought of it while at church.

Have you read this book? What did you think?

(Sharing with Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books, Literary Musing Monday) and Carole’s Books You Loved)

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