About Barbara Harper

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Works-For-Me Wednesday: Parenting Edition

Posted on July 31, 2007 by Barbara Harper

The first WFMW of each month has been a themed one this year, and this month the focus is on parenting.

I’m no expert and my family and I are far from perfect…..but after almost 23 years of parenting, I’ve learned a few things…

Pray for wisdom. I used James 1:5 in conjunction with raising my children more than any other area of life.
Study what the Bible has to say about raising children. For one of my child care classes in college, we had to do a study on what the Bible says about raising children, just taking a concordance and looking up verses with words like child, children, teach, train, etc. It was one of the most beneficial things I have ever done.
Use Scripture in explaining right and wrong and principles to them, but don’t club them over the head with it and don’t be harsh about it.
Don’t give them options when they don’t have any. When it is time to go to bed or to eat dinner, don’t ask them if they would like to or if they are ready to — you’re just setting yourself up for trouble if they say, “No.” When it is time to go to bed, in a cheerful and positive but firm way let them know it’s time. I always liked to let them know ahead of time when a deadline is coming up (“After this TV program ends, then it’s bedtime” or “I’ll set the timer for ten minutes, and then we need to pick up toys and go to bed.”) just out of consideration. After all, I much prefer knowing what’s coming up rather than being told I need to drop what I’m doing now.
Teach them to be constructive rather than destructive.

Never assume. You can walk into a situation and think you know what has happened and be dead wrong. Unless it’s an emergency situation it’s best to ask questions first and clarify what has happened.
Ask questions instead of making accusations. I mentioned in an earlier post that this is something I just learned within the last year, and I wish I had known it when my kids were younger. Making accusations produces defensiveness: asking questions leads to examination and conviction.
Be specific and clear in your instructions.
Realize that your children might have a different understanding of your instructions than what you’re trying to convey. A classic example is the instruction to “Clean your room.” A young child will have a different idea of what that entails than you do. It’s better to be specific: “I want your Legos in the box and your books on the shelf and your dirty clothes in the hamper.”
Be careful, though, of too many instructions at once. If someone has several things they want me to do, I’d have to ask them to wait a minute while I get something to write them down. Why would I then expect my children to remember a long list of instructions?
Teach progressively. When teaching your child to do something, say, a specific chore, do it together with them at first, then progress to having them do it (or parts of it at first) under supervision, then doing it on their own. Along with that, remember…
Children do what is inspected rather than what is expected.
Don’t have negative expectations of any age or stage. Two different mothers told me this at two different stages of life, one before the “terrible twos,” and one in regard to the teen years. Going into those or other stages expecting it to be terrible is going to color everything. The world seems to promote the idea that the teen years are going to be awful and it’s just that way and you just have to hang on and get through it. There are struggles and issues to work through, certainly, but if the relationship has been good all along and respect and obedience have been taught all along, it doesn’t have to be a bad time for parents or teens.
Attitude is as important as obedience. I used to give more latitude for a negative attitude if my children were still doing what I asked them to, because, after all, I don’t always have the greatest attitude, myself, about the things I need to do. But I was convicted in recent years by I Cor. 6:20: “For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” I wish I had emphasized this more when my kids were younger. They need to know that “Do all things without murmurings and disputings” is God’s requirement, not just what Mom would wish for in a perfect world (Phil 2:14. Verse 15 says this is part of our testimony.) You have to be careful here and take into account age level, emotional maturity, whatever else has happened in their day (whether they’re stressed, over-tired, ill, hungry, etc.), and I wouldn’t expect perfection, but you should see growth in this area over the years.
Convey expectations beforehand. I mentioned this in a previous WFMW, but I learned that it helped a lot to let children know ahead of an event what was expected rather than trying to keep on top of their behavior during the event. Even with something simple like going to the grocery store, if I told them before we left the house or before we got out of the car (or both) that I wanted them to sit nicely in the cart and we wouldn’t be getting a toy today but we might get a treat if they were good, it helped curb the “I wants” when we passed the toy aisle and kept them from trying to climb out of the cart.
“You have to stay where I can see you.” This was our watchword when we went out in public anywhere (after they got out of the stroller stage) — in the park, in the grocery store, at the mall, even at church. This was not only for their safety and so that they wouldn’t be in danger of being snatched away: it was also so I could keep an eye on what they were doing. I don’t know why it seems at church in particular parents seem to let their young children run free. Maybe they are thinking it’s a safe environment and that everyone will be watching them. But they need to be under our watchful eye there as well as everywhere else. I could tell you stories of kids found raiding the cookie jar in the nursery, piling their plates higher than anyone could possibly eat at church fellowships, and all manner of things. They need to be taught both by instruction and example how to act there as well as everywhere else.
Point out the hand of God in everyday life. When a car swerves into your lane but misses you, thank God for His protection. When we see sunlight filtering through the clouds in a pretty pattern, point out the beauty of His creation. Let them know of answers to prayer, great and small. Help them to see God as real and active and interested in their lives. I think this goes a long way toward making Him real to them and conveying that Christianity is a relationship with Him and not just a set of rules (though rules and doctrine are important, too).
Keep time with God as a priority. I expanded on this in an earlier post: it may be harder to do when the children are small, and you may have to be a little more creative in how you do it, but it can be done with His help.
Enjoy this time of life! You hear it all the time, but it is so true: it goes by so fast. Relax and enjoy it as much as possible.

As always, you can find a wealth of tips on Wednesdays at Rocks In My Dryer.

An exercise in Daily Light

Posted on July 31, 2007 by Barbara Harper

I’ve mentioned Daily Light on the Daily Path a number of times — even this week on my blogiversary post. 🙂 I first saw reference to it in missionary biographies, Amy Carmichael’s and others.

An entry the other day was such an excellent example that I wanted to share it here.

The July 26 morning entry contains these verses:

By faith Abraham, . . . called to go out into a place which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed. Heb. 11:8.

He shall choose our inheritance for us. Ps. 47:4–He led him about, he instructed him, he kept him as the apple of his eye. As an eagle stirreth up her nest, fluttereth over her young, spreadeth abroad her wings, taketh them, beareth them on her wings: so the LORD alone did lead him, and there was no strange god with him. Deut. 32:10-12.

I am the LORD thy God which teacheth thee to profit, which leadeth thee by the way that thou shouldest go. Isa. 48:17. –Who teacheth like him? Job 36:22.

We walk by faith, not by sight. II Cor. 5:7. –Here have we no continuing city, but we seek one to come. Heb. 13:14. –Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul. I Peter 2:11. –Arise ye, and depart; for this is not your rest: because it is polluted, it shall destroy you, even with a sore destruction. Micah 2:10.

Now, at first glance or after just a cursory read, I might end up thinking, “Yes, we’re supposed to trust the Lord’s leading” and go on my merry way. But after reading through these verses thoughtfully, I began to see different aspects of the Lord’s leading. When He calls, we need to obey by faith. He cares intimately about us and doesn’t just send us on our way, but He bears us. There is no other teacher like Him. The ultimate destination of His leading is heaven. Since we’re just sojourning here, we shouldn’t get distracted with or caught up in fleshly lusts which war against the soul or make camp and seek rest where we’re not supposed to. That was a blessing to me.

I have to admit my husband and oldest son don’t really like this layout. They would rather read verses in context. I agree this doesn’t take the place of reading the Bible through or studying a passage in context, and you do have to be careful about stringing different verses together. But overall I have found the verses to be compiled with much thought and care. If you think of it as a mini and not exhaustive Bible study on a certain topic each day, perhaps that helps. As I’ve said, I use this usually to begin my devotional time, to mentally change gears from whatever else I was thinking about to begin meditating on God’s Word. Sundays and very busy days, like when we have company in town, this may be all I do. Many are the days that this little devotional has given me much food for thought for the rest of the day.

One of my favorite listings is for the morning of April 10, and for this one I am going to leave the references on the bottom as it is arranged in my book plus the web site.

B EHOLD, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.–Thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord GOD.

I am a sinful man, O Lord.–Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair.

I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.–Thou art all fair, my love; there is no spot in thee.

When I would do good, evil is present with me.–Be of good cheer; thy sins be forgiven thee.

I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing.–Ye are complete in him.–Perfect in Christ Jesus.

Ye are washed, . . . ye are sanctified, . . . ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.–That ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light.

CANT. 1. 5. Ps. 51. 5.–Eze. 16. 14.
Lu. 5. 8.–Ca. 4. 1. Job 42. 6.–Ca. 4. 7.
Ro. 7. 21. Mat. 9. 2. Ro. 7. 18.–
Col. 2. 10; 1. 28. 1 Co. 6. 11. 1 Pe. 2. 9.

Book Review: Dr. Phil’s Ultimate Weight Solution

Posted on July 31, 2007 by Barbara Harper

Last spring I was checking the web sites of several different popular diet plans, and each of them had aspects that didn’t appeal to me (cost factors or elimination of certain whole food groups, etc.). Then I found Dr. Phil McGraw’s site dealing with weight, and it contained a lot of common sense, so I decided to buy his book, The Ultimate Weight Solution: The Seven Keys to Weight Loss Freedom.

Let me say at the outset that I am not a Dr. Phil disciple, so please don’t take this as an endorsement of anything he has ever said or written. I have never seen a whole episode of his show. I have caught parts of it at the doctor’s waiting room and the last ten minutes or so when my husband turns on the TV after dinner some times. I have found myself disagreeing with him on occasion (particularly one program dealing with when to end a marriage) and I have heard him once or twice use language I find offensive. But from what I have seen he is good at laying out a situation in plain black and white and applying common sense solutions. So with that in mind, I started reading his book.

And he does lay things out in plain black and white. Take, for instance, this statement in response to the excuse that “Because obesity runs in my family, I just can’t lose weight.”

Is holding on to the excuse that you’re a victim, blaming others for your results, really going to help you get in shape? Does it bring you happiness, peace, calm, and fulfillment? Is it working for you? If you answered No, No, and No, then stop listening to your own justifications and excuses for why you are putting up with these thoughts and beliefs, actions and inactions, that are not working for you. If it’s not working, let go of it!

Bottom line: there are no victims, only volunteers. You are creating the situations you’re in; you’re creating the thoughts and emotions that flow from those situations. You must embrace the fact that you own your problems and take action to solve them.

He reminds that, if we eat in response to stress, “None of these situations will get better if you respond by stuffing yourself with uncontrolled amounts of food.” You might say, “Well, duh.” But many people fall into that trap of comforting themselves with food, and sometimes that plain, clear realization is a wake-up call.

Here is another quote:

If you don’t have time to exercise, you are saying, in effect, that you have time to stay overweight and that you have time, at some point in your future, for a long, and still-growing list of life-crippling, life-threatening diseases that exercise ios known to prevent. If you don’t have time for exercise, ask yourself if you have time for heart disease, stroke, cancer, or diabetes. If you don’t exercise with some degree of regularity, you are making a decision to compromise your life quality, today and in the future.

Ouch.

His first “key” is right thinking, and really that premise underlies the whole book, the premise that what you think determines how you feel and act.

I did find a few areas of disagreement. One was a statement in the chapter on right thinking: “You have within you everything you will ever need to be, do, and have, anything and everything you will ever want or need.” As a Christian, I find all that I need, including the strength to do right, in God, not in myself. In the chapter on emotional control, he cites David and Goliath as an example of confidence on David’s part in contrast with fear of the other soldiers, but, again, David’s confidence in both his victory and his cause came from God, not his own self confidence (I Samuel 17). Also in that chapter he recommends certain relaxation techniques. I have no problem with breathing techniques, contracting and relaxing muscles to ease tension, listening to music (Dr. Jim Berg also advocates the use of these in Quieting a Noisy Soul), but yoga and meditation as the world thinks of it cross the line in my book, and I think people need to be wary of them.

He does also talk about specific foods and which kinds are best. There are several helpful charts and quizzes. He cautions against unrealistic expectations, such as thinking that once you do lose weight you’ll find a mate, get a great job, and everything will be rosy.

My problem with any kind of instructional book is that, as I am reading along, I’ll think, “Yes, that’s good,” “Yes, I agree there,” “That’s very helpful,” and then I get done, close the book, and a day or two later, think, “What was that again?” Things just don’t stay with me like they do when I read a story. So I think what I need to do is skim back through a chapter at a time, maybe listing out the points I underlined or noted to review the major points.

Blogiversary winner and miscellany

Posted on July 30, 2007 by Barbara Harper

When I posted my one year blog anniversary post, I was hoping for lots of “hellos” and “happy blogiversary” and such, and I thank you all for those — but what I hadn’t anticipated and was very surprised and touched about were the very kind, warm words of encouragement. I even got a little teary a time or two. Thanks so much — your words ministered to my heart.

I was also very surprised to hear from some readers whom I did not know were readers! Thanks for taking the time to comment and let me know you’re there!

I just used the Custom Random Number Generator to draw a the number of one of the comments to win the prize I was offering of a copy of Daily Light on the Daily Path and the CD A Quiet Heart, and got #19: Laurel Wreath! That’s especially exciting because I discovered Laurel’s one year anniversary was the day after mine — I told her I thought she was a blogging pro and had been at it much longer than I had!

Now to assorted miscellany:

If you knit or crochet or use wool in any way or just like cute designs, go to this post and scroll down to the “Cuts of Lamb” t-shirt at the bottom of the post. Darling!

I feel all jumbled today. My morning started out with a partial message from one of our credit card companies about possible fraudulent usage. My youngest son had answered the phone just after waking up and didn’t quite get the message — it was a recorded call, and he handed it to my oldest son, who wrote down the last four numbers of the credit card they were referencing, so at least I knew which company to contact.

Here’s your free consumer safety tip for the day: when I get a call or especially an e-mail about problems with an account I never use the phone number they give me. I get out my account information and call the customer service number from there. I tend to be a little overcautious about possible scam phone calls, but we have gotten a few over the years, so it’s better to play it safe. With e-mails in particular, it can look very legitimate, but the link they have you click on to enter your personal information can be a false one designed to get unwary consumers to give out their personal account information to someone who then uses it for their own gain. This process is called “phishing.”

My husband handles all the bill paying, so I had to go dig around in his files for the account information, had to call him for the user ID and password to get into the account online before I called customer service, got a window saying because I was on a different computer I needed a verification code, went through that process, got the code in an e-mail at his account, tried it 3 or 4 times without it working, then got a window saying that the user ID and password were now inactive (I’m sure due to the multiple unsuccessful attempts to log on) and giving me a customer service phone number to call. So I called the number, waited on hold for really not too long, and got a very nice lady who gave me a new activication code and waited while to see if it worked for me, then transferred me to the division that asks about possible fraudulent purchases. Between the two ladies they asked me half a dozen or more security questions to verify that this was indeed my account, and then we finally got to the purchase in question. It was an online game my husband had authorized my sons to purchase, and they had entered the wrong expiration date for the card. So I OKed that, and she said everything was all clear.

Going through all of that just left my brain all jumbled, and the fact that at that point it was about 10:30 in the morning and I hadn’t yet had a shower or gotten dressed or had devotions or breakfast just left me feeling all out of sorts and even more jumbled mentally. But I am glad that it is hard to get into an account online and they they check out suspicious charges — it does make me feel secure about the safety of our account. And I reminded myself that all of the other usual morning routines would get done — just in a different order and a little later than usual.

I had to confess that when I called my husband, I was hoping he’d say he’d handle it. 🙂 But he was working, and it turns out it’s good I did anyway, because he didn’t remember the purchase in question, so that would have prolonged the whole process even more.

One other bit of miscellaneous news, probably not important or noticeable to anyone but me… I did a little reorganizing of my sidebar. It was way too long and messy. I organized some of the graphics near the bottom into types — before then I had just been putting each new one in at the bottom or at random. Plus I deleted the list of blogs on the Family Friendly Blogroll…which probably means I will be removed, as ~~many~~ most of those blogrolls require you to keep the blogroll on your site in order for your blog to be on it. I don’t have a problem with that except that the free WordPress blogs don’t allow any kind of javascript which is usually in the code needed to list the blogroll. This is old news to some bloggers, but new to others — it’s set up that way so that as new blogs are added or old ones deleted, your blogroll is automatically updated. Plus most of them have a little drop-down window so that you can click on it and see the list of blogs registered with that blogroll. The code for that doesn’t work with the free WP blogs, either, so in order to be listed I had to include the whole list of blogs listed with the Family Friendly blogroll and then update it manually. That long, long list had been bugging me ever since I put it up, and that’s why I didn’t list my blog with other blogrolls — my sidebar would have gone on for miles. I know that’s a great way to get your blog “out there” and gain a little more blog traffic, but I just couldn’t stand the long sidebar any more, so I deleted all the individual blog names and just left the link to the blogroll. It seems to me like that should be enough to remain on, but if the powers that be deem otherwise, I understand. It will just have to be that way unless I switch to a blog host that will accept the code.

My own personal blogroll isn’t really up to date, either. Since I started using Bloglines, I’ve been updating the blogs I read there rather than here. I have 95 blogs listed there, though, and I don’t want another long list on my sidebar (all of them don’t post every day, else I’d be in trouble and have to pare down the list. Some are even retired, but I keep the link there in case they come back). I put in a request to WP for a dropdown menu for the blogroll like they have for Categories, but no response yet. I think there’s a way to make a link so that when someone clicks on a blogroll, they go to my list at Bloglines — I may check into that. I love having a blogroll to recommend other good blogs — I just don’t want to have such a lengthy list on my sidebar.

Well, I am not doing so well with making shorter posts, am I? I’m off to e-mail Laurel and visit the blogs of some of the commenters on my blogiversary post.

Happy Monday!

My one year blogging anniversary!

Posted on July 28, 2007 by Barbara Harper

I don’t remember quite when I started reading blogs. But after some time I began to think about starting my own. I wrestled through a lot of questions: Is it safe? Will some stalker find me or my children? Would anybody be interested in what I have to say? Would it be a wise use of time? After considering it for a long time, I felt that it would be a good use of time and it could be done safely. I had been wanting to do more writing and felt blogging would be good practice and discipline. Writing for an audience (hopefully!) would help me be thoughtful and careful with my words. And blogging would be an avenue to be a blessing to others, to share things the Lord had taught me, to encourage other women along the way.

And besides all that, it looked like a lot of fun!

So with the technical help of my son, I plunged in a year ago today.

Besides all of the the above reasons for blogging, I have found a wonderful blogging community out there! I am so glad to have “met” so many of you online!

To celebrate my blogging anniversary, I want to do a few things. First, I finally wrote a “100 things about me” post. I had seen and enjoyed these on other blogs and decided to join in. I had wanted to post that here and then after a couple of days put it in the upper right hand corner. But WordPress calls this a “Post” and those things “Pages,” and after I post a post there is no way to change it into a page — I’d just have to copy and paste the text into a page, then I’d lose the comments here. So, I’ll just post it as a page under the “About me” section. You can click here to read it, but I won’t be offended if you don’t. 🙂

Secondly, I’d really like to see if some of the folks who read would leave me a comment here. 🙂 I am so thankful for those who comment regularly! You make my day! My blog stats tell me that on a “normal” day when there is not an interactive meme like the photo hunt or Works for Me Wednesday or that kind of thing, I have 100-150 or so readers. I’d love to hear from some of you so that I know someone besides spam bots are out there. 🙂

Thirdly, to say thank you to my readers, I want to have another give-away. I will draw from the names of those who leave comments on this post between now and Monday morning at 10:00 a.m. Eastern Daylight Time and give one person a couple of prizes. One is something I have mentioned many times on my blog, a copy of the devotional book Daily Light on the Daily Path. It is composed totally of Scripture verses, usually centered around one topic for each day. I like to use it to begin my devotional times, but there are some days — Sundays and unusually busy days — when that day’s reading may be all I do. Yet so many times the Lord has given me just what I needed for the day, and something thinking through the list of verses and trying to figure out why the compiler grouped them together has shed light on what they mean. This book has been in publication for decades and had been a blessing to many. I first read of it in missionary biographies.

When I was reorganizing my CDs the other day, I discovered that I had two copies of one of my favorite CDs, A Quiet Heart by Soundforth. I think I have posted the words to most of the songs on it at various times! I would like to give the extra copy, though it has been opened and used, to someone else so it can bless them.

Again, I’ll be sending both of these to one person whose name I’ll draw from the comments on this post. I will be glad to ship them anywhere. If you are not interested in these — perhaps you already have them (though you could always pass these on to someone else) — please just let me know in the comments, but do stop in to say hi and help me celebrate!

Just for fun, few stats: my blog stats tell me that in the past year I have had 664 posts 😳 , 5,866 comments (most of those from the interactive memes) and 17,004 spam comments (thankfully WordPress has an excellent spam catcher!) My most-viewed posts, besides the Dog Days of Summer give-aways, are Chicken Tenderloins and More Chicken Tenderloin Recipes, One of THE best things to do with leftover ham, Encouragement for mothers of young children, and When there is no hunger for God’s Word. I think it’s funny that recipe posts are getting the most views when I don’t consider myself that great a cook, especially next to some of the others out there!

Besides continuing on with my other reasons for blogging, I do have two goals for the coming year: to try to write shorter posts (I know I am way too wordy), and to try to use “smilies” less and convey the sentiment through words instead.

Here’s to another great year!

Show and Tell Friday

Posted on July 27, 2007 by Barbara Harper

Kelli at There’s No Place Like Home hosts “Show and Tell Friday” asking “Do you have a something special to share with us? It could be a trinket from grade school, a piece of jewelry, an antique find. Your show and tell can be old or new. Use your imagination and dig through those old boxes in your closet if you have to! Feel free to share pictures and if there’s a story behind your special something, that’s even better! If you would like to join in, all you have to do is post your “Show and Tell” on your blog, copy the post link, come over here and add it to Mr. Linky.“

“That which we elect to surround ourselves with becomes the museum of our soul and the archive of our experiences.”
—Thomas Jefferson

A few years ago my husband was given a trip to Chattanooga, TN, as reward for something he had done at work. One of the places we visited was the Chattanooga Choo Choo, and I think it was in a section of little shops there that we found this beautiful plaque.

Sorry for the weird angle — it was hard to get a shot that didn’t have either a glare from the flash or a reflection of me taking the picture. It says:

Families are like quilts —
Lives pieced
and stitched together,
Colored by happiness and tears,
Bound by memories
and love,
Cherished throughout the years.

I love what it says and think it is so true. I have this plaque in the hallway in the midst of family pictures (I had to take it down to get the picture). I also love the way it incorporates lace and flowers and other three dimensional effects. This was before the scrapbook craze was as big as it is now. Its colors are darker than what I have in the rest of the house, but they coordinate.

When I took that plaque down to take its picture, this smaller plaque on the same wall caught my eye. I got this at a craft show, but I don’t remember whether it was in SC or GA. I love to have Scripture all through the house, and this was the first piece in which I remember seeing calligraphy in different colors. The verse is one of my favorites.

By the way, tomorrow is my one year blog anniversary, and in conjunction with that I’ll be having a contest over the weekend. Hope you can come back for that and help me celebrate!

Booking Through Thursday: Best moustache-twirling

Posted on July 26, 2007 by Barbara Harper

The Booking Through Thursday topic for this week is:Who’s the worst fictional villain you can think of? As in, the one you hate the most, find the most evil, are happiest to see defeated? Not the cardboard, two-dimensional variety, but the most deliciously-written, most entertaining, best villain? Not necessarily the most “evil,” so much as the best-conceived on the part of the author.

One of the best crafted villains that comes to my mind is Javert of Les Miserables because he doesn’t seem like a villain. He thinks he’s on the side of right. He stands for the good causes of righteousness and justice but forgets forgiveness and mercy and compassion. He reminds me somewhat of the apostle Paul who persecutes Christians because he thinks they are sinning against the God he thinks he is serving, yet unlike Paul, who is brought prostrate and converted when he is brought face to face with the truth, Javert can’t face it, can’t comprehend it, and sadly destroys himself.

They liked it anyway…

Posted on July 26, 2007 by Barbara Harper

I didn’t plan this meal very well…Let me back up to say that I’ve been spending some time in the evenings when we’re watching what little there is to watch on TV (summer TV is an even more barren place in the vast TV wasteland!) or listening to music (now that I can get to my records) going through recipe magazines like Taste of Home and its affiliates that have stacked up over the last several months while I have been doing other things. Meal planning is not my favorite thing to do anyway, and I sometimes cringe at having just the same old stuff I’ve been making for years to choose from. So going through magazines and getting ideas sometimes revives the culinary aspect of my homemaking occupation.

I had found a couple of recipes for ham steaks that sounded really good. I had only made ham steaks maybe once or twice in 27+ years of marriage. I don’t remember that my mom ever made them. I thought they’d be a good addition to my repertoire because, as the boys get older and get involved in youth group activities and jobs and such, we frequently find only 2 or 3 of us at home at dinnertime. A ham steak would be a good way to make a dish with ham without having to roast a whole big one.

So I clipped the two recipes I found and put them in my folder for new recipes. The next few times I was at the grocery store I looked for ham steaks, but I couldn’t find them. Then one day at another store that I use just for quick pick-ups (it doesn’t have many of the regular things I buy and its layout doesn’t make sense to me, so I don’t do the biggest part of my shopping there), I suddenly remembered ham steaks and swung by their meat department to see if they had any — and they did! I got two to have enough for all four of us (the fifth family member is still working at a camp in CA for the summer for a few more weeks). I put them in the freezer when I got home.

Last Saturday night I decided to try the ham steaks for dinner the next day, so I pulled them out of the freezer to thaw. I got out my new-recipe folder to dig out the ham steak recipe to see what I needed to do the next day. That was when I discovered it called for fully-cooked ham steaks (mine weren’t), pineapple juice (which I didn’t have on hand and wouldn’t unless I bought it for a special recipe) and ground mustard (I only had prepared).

Hmmm.

Off and on through the rest of the evening and the next morning I pondered what to do with them. I thought through my other ham recipes and wasn’t inspired. I had really wanted to make something new. After breakfast I looked at the recipe again. I decided to use apple juice instead of the pineapple and prepared mustard instead of the ground. As I mixed up the ingredients for the marinade, it looked pretty good until the mustard — that made it look too yellowish. As I put the ham and marinade into a ziploc bag and put it in the refirgerator, I hoped I didn’t just ruin two perfectly good pieces of meat and tried to think of another quick-fix meal I could have on standby if this failed.

When we came home from church I asked my husband if he would grill the ham, to which he readily agreed. Since the recipe had called for already cooked ham and since he had never grilled hams steaks before, he used a meat thermometer just to make sure it was done. But it was sliced thinly enough that getting cooked through was no problem.

When he brought in the platter of grilled meat he said, “You’re going to wish you had more of this.” I said, “Why? Is it good?” He said, “Yeah!”

And it was! Really good! It didn’t have the type of flavor that just bowls you over when you put it in your mouth, but as you begin eating it, the delicious flavor comes through.

So I’m delighted to have a new great recipe on hand. And since it marinates for a couple of hours, it works really well for an after-church meal if you have time to make up the marinade beforehand. I thought about trying it to make it the way it was originally written next time just to compare — but I think I will stick with what works.

I didn’t take a picture, though I thought about it (in fact, I was thinking “You know you’re a blogger when you want to take pictures of a new dinner before letting anyone eat”). Just think dark pink meat with grill stripes.

Here’s my revised version, which I doubled for us:

Marinated Ham Steak

1/2 cup apple juice
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1 tablespoon margarine, melted
1 to 2 teaspoons mustard
1/8 teaspoon garlic powder
1/8 teaspoon paprika
1 ham steak

Combine first six ingredients and pour into a resealable plastic bag. Add ham; seal bag and turn to coat. Refrigerate at least two hours, turning occasionally.

Drain marinade and grill ham, uncovered, over medium heat. If the ham is fully cooked beforehand, grill only 3-4 minutes on each side; if the ham is raw, plan on 10-15 minutes or until meat thermometer reaches 140-160 degrees.

The original recipe says to baste the steak frequently with the reserved marinade, but that’s best only if the ham is fully cooked before it marinates. If the meat is raw when it marinates, you don’t want to use that marinade for basting and end up with residuals from raw meat on your cooked steak — only baste with that marinade if you allow time for the added basting to get fully heated: don’t baste with it just before serving or in the last few of minutes of grilling.

The original recipe also said to cut the steak in half before serving, but I cut it up into smaller pieces before marinating in order to get it to fit in the bag plus to let the marinade get to more surfaces of the meat.

If you ever try this, let me know what you think.

A couple of book reviews

Posted on July 25, 2007 by Barbara Harper

I was looking on my bookshelf for something easy to get into in anticipation of a long doctor’s appointment (rather a long time in the waiting room). I found a small book called Sweet Dreams Drive by Robin Lee Hatcher there. I don’t remember buying it, but it had a big sale sticker on it and I had at least heard of the author, so that must’ve been part of my motivation, plus the fact that it looked like a good story. I didn’t realize at first it was the fourth in a series called Hart’s Crossing about a folks in a small town in Idaho. It wasn’t originally on my Summer Reading List, though I am adding it on. :)The story is about a couple who had found each other unexpectedly, fallen in love, and went on to pursue the American Dream — and run into problems with debt and a lack of communication and the sleep deprivation and tiredness resulting from the birth of twins. The point of view shifts back and forth between the husband and wife, Al and Patti, but what I liked about that was that we see the same situation from each point of view and see how it causes different reactions. It’s a sweet story of how they learn to sacrifice and put each other first and make their marriage even better than it was before.

Now I want to get the first three books in the series! I don’t think they are needed to really understand this story, but I liked the town the characters and want to read about the rest of them.

The second book is a prize that I won in Katrina’s Books Galore give-away last spring (thanks. Katrina!), Scrap Everything by Leslie Gould. The basic premise is the friendship that develops between two unlikely women. Elise has moved to her husband’s home town as a temporary stop on her way to her dream location of Seattle. Partly because she doesn’t really want to live in the town and partly because she considers it a short stay and doesn’t want to put down roots and partly because of her personality, which is somewhat reticent to get to know people, she seems aloof (another character later described her as “needy,” but I didn’t see her as needy at all: she seemed just the opposite to me. She didn’t want or think she needed their friendship or their help at all at first). One of the first women she meets is Rebekah, a new owner of a scrapbooking shop, whom Elise thinks is “perky” and describes as someone who “spoke in italics and exclamation points.”

Elise’s husband, Ted, is unexpectedly called back from army reserves to active duty and her oldest son has behavioral problems. Rebekah’s adopted daughter faces a medical crisis with a need for a kidney transplant, and the family seems about to lose either their farm or Rebekah’s business due to the expenses, especially when a laspe in insurance coverage is discovered. As they meet over scrapbooking, horseback riding at Rebekah’s farm, and helping each other through their problems, they learn to give each other a chance, they learn to give, and they learn to give up control to the only One who can control the events in their lives.

Even though the title and a lot of the setting pertains to scrapbooking, a reader wouldn’t need to be a scrapbooker to enjoy the book.

I found the physical transitions a little choppy and unclear in places. For instance, in the sixth chapter, Rebekah and her husband, Patrick, are in their kitchen talking. He has just gotten a glass of water when their conversation takes an unpleasant turn, and Rebekah says, “I’m too tired for this. Good night.” and turns off the kitchen light. It sounded (to me, anyway) like she left him standing in the kitchen in the dark. Maybe she did. But I think it was meant to convey they were done in the kitchen and going on to bed. There were a few “Huh?” moments like that throughout the book, but I don’t feel they marred the major part of the story.

I identified most with Elise; I could understand her feelings and reactions throughout the book. Maybe because of that, I felt some of the others were too hard on her later on in the book. I empathized with her mapping out her ideal plan and getting frustrated because God wasn’t allowing things to work out accordingly, then having to yield that plan to Him. And Rebekah, though a go-getter and ones who makes things happen, had to learn there are things out of her control as well that she just has to trust God for.

Overall I would recommend this book, and I’d like to read Leslie’s other two books as well some time.

I won a book from Deena at A Peek At My Bookshelf and volunteered to review a couple of other books, and wanted to start right away on the new book just out by Kay Washer, so I may have to scrap my Summer Reading List before it’s over. 🙂 But that’s fine — I do want to read all those books, whether I get to them this summer or next fall. We’ll see how it goes. I have plenty of to-be-read books stacked up to keep me happy for a long time. 🙂